The other side of that coin.....
Posted By: Happy MT Robin on 2009-05-11
In Reply to: That's how you reward her wonderful efforts to better - Just Me
Is the girlfriend of a former coworker years ago whose parents "promised" her a bachelor's degree. They never put any restrictions on it other than if she got bad grades they wouldn't pay for the next semester. They paid for her apartment when she chose to move two states away with her boyfriend. He went to the University and she went to the local community college. He graduated with a Bachelors degree (that he obtained in 4 years while working 35 hours a week because he paid his own way) and she didn't even finish her Associates Degree. She ended up finishing that when she moved back home. There was one semester in there where she tanked and Mom and Dad didn't pay for anything. Mom, however, the next semester did pay off every single one of her credit card bills so she wouldn't have to work quite so hard. Huh?
It took her 7 years. Yes, I said 7, seven, years to finish an associate's degree, all the while living at home with mom and dad paying all expenses. She worked, so she had money for smokes, and her own play stuff, but she never contributed to the house. I think it was another 5 years or so before she actually finished her Bachelor's and actually moved out.
Don't judge someone else how they choose to raise their daughter or son. It sounds like daughter's got a good head on her shoulder and is never going to mooch off mom and dad and will actually turn out to be a nice, productive member of society.
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The other side of the coin (sm)
I am an introvert and shy, and WAS married to a social butterfly. He was always the life of the party, always had more friends/activities/hobbies than I and after a few years of marriage, I was miserable. I felt we had no friendship or companionship anymore even though I made an effort to be sociable at times. He,however, never stopped being himself and spent less and less time with me. It is something to carefully consider, not that I'm saying it can't work. My ex was just a very selfish man who lived his life for himself. If you get counseling and keep communicating with each other, I think it could work - not the best situation ideally but it could definitely work if you both love each other enough.
On the flip side of the coin....sm
If he knew this other person and wanted to warn you ahead of time that she wanted to stir up trouble... I'd start asking him some questions. How does he know her and you don't? What proof does he have that she is the one spreading rumors and why would she? Why did he feel the need to warn you beforehand?
Just a casual observer here, and not having much info to go on and respecting your desire not to state such info... but what I see is something that resembles a scenario where HE did something wrong and SHE either knew about it or was involved in it and threatened to tell you about it, so he had to ''warn'' you about her ahead of time so as to discredit her so his ''secret'' didn't get out.
Just my opinion and I hope for your sake I'm wrong... Hang in there and take the advice from some of the others here... watch closely, take notes, and my additional advice....trust no one. Good luck!
Let's flip the coin on the holiday talk
Share one of your favorite memories, a food that you look forward to on the holidays, someone you look forward to seeing or something you look forward to doing...traditional, unconventional, doesn't matter. Share something positive about the holidays.
My favorite foods would be sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie with real whip cream for Thanksgiving and christmas cookies.
My favorite memory is for Thanksgiving because that was our side of the families holiday as a child and no one brought presents. It was truely all about family, friends, and happy times. We never had a large family but everyone we knew was invited for Thanksgiving.
I also remember looking for something to do after Christmas morning. It usually ended up being that we would go to the movies or K-Mart. Pretty much everything else was closed but I think we went through the entire phonebook every year looking for something to do the rest of the day.
I don't remember much about Christmas morning and presents except for the year I got a cabbage patch kid that talked. A few days later I gave her a bath. She never talked again. lol
When 2 cars ride side by side on the interstate...sm
and block traffic so nobody can pass. I will get irate over this. I don't know where people's brains are.
There's one side, the other side, and the truth
And boy is it true.
I will say you sound like my aunt, who never speaks up, gets walked all over and then cries about it later.
Her kids/grandkids have no idea why she is always depressed, they think nothing of doing whatever they want without regard for her because she hasn't expressed an interest or opinion on anything and they don't know any better.
Yes, they use her. Yes, they could do things for her, but she never asks anything or says anything, so they don't press it, because it's always been that way. And she's a martyr, so it'd upset her pattern if things actually changed.
And the truth (and maybe reconciliation) lies in the middle somewhere.
Sad.
There is teacher's side of story, kid's side of story
x
side sm
Buy a bag of frozen fries and put them in the oven on a cookie sheet or some minute rice - quick and easy. Do both, have fun!
from the other side...
My MIL said that she thought I should have never had my first son while I was pregnant with my second and that I should probably abort him (her son and I were married at the time and I am and was 30). That hurts. I can imagine that she probably does not think that seeing the baby is a priority for someone who suggested she give it up. I know that she is 18 and stupid, but this is her child and try to put yourself in her place. I cannot allow my MIL to be alone with my children until they are older because I am afraid that she will put her difference with me ahead of their safety. When my son was 1, she allowed him to play with a fork (running around) and refused to move her vodka out of his reach just to spite me. What will she do if I am not around to watch her and them? I must put their safety ahead of her desires. That is just hte way it is. I am not saying that you would do any of these things, but keep in mind that she and your son will probably not work out, as they are so young, and she will have your grand child forever. Perhaps, you should try to create peace and apologize, even if you think that you are right.
Trying to look at it from the other side
Guys are funny creatures (and not in the ha-ha way). As women, I think somehow we learn that it's okay to talk about feelings. Guys, especially of a certain age, don't have that luxury, and a lot will use humor to 'hint' at something that is bothering them rather than come straight out and ask (heck, I even do it myself, especially if it's something that is really bothering me on an emotional level and I'm afraid of the answer!). It's possible that he feels badly about you paying his way...yes, we're independent women now, but you can't change thousands of years of hunter/gatherer instinct overnight. He probably wanted to hear how you responded to it...depending on whether you joked back, how you joked back, or whether you got angry, he may have thought he'd get an answer that told him how you were feeling about it without straight out confronting/asking you about it.
Never forget that men are just as insecure in relationships as women are; they're just better at masking it behind stupid comments!
side note--sm
and don't forget to remove the neck and giblets in the bag inside the turkey prior to baking. I learned from experience. :^)
Ditto on that, I am an A on one side, AA on the other - sm
talk about fun! Either go without or those stretch ones since I don't need any support really except on the 1 side a little bit. There are more AAs out there now but 5-10 years ago other than shopping in the girl's department it was impossible!
tell her to get mac&cheese or another side--sm
she doesn't HAVE to eat mashed potatoes. Pizza gets tiring all the time. She may be nice, but she doesn't sound very flexible. Enjoy whatever you decide on. have fun!
Flip side--sm
I would just like to interject my own experience with getting dentures.
I had an immediate denture procedure, meaning the denture was made prior to the actual removing of the normal teeth and placed immediately after removal. When I first saw my denture in my mouth, I cried! It was way too big and I looked like Bugs Bunny! The dentist that made this denture then went on vacation and I had to wear this atrocious looking appliance for another month while a new one was being made. I had to go to work with this thing in my mouth and even at 42 years of age, I had to be the recipient of cruel joking from my coworkers. But I finally got my new, smaller denture and even though it looked better, it did not fit well. My gums shrunk quicker than normal and I had to have it relined within two months. (another expense). So with that horrible experience, I decided never to return to that dental group again, which I did not. I tolerated not being able to eat anything with more hardness than a peanut butter sandwich, or my denture would pop out. That meant no meat, no corn on the cob, no pickles, etc. I also had to deal with slippage while speaking, etc. Not every one has a good experience with dentures and if I had it all to do over again, I would NEVER NEVER have my own teeth removed for a pair of plastic useless torture appliances!
I have new dentures now, which I paid for on my own and even though they are 80 percent better than what I had previously, they are still not all that comfortable and they still have their problems with eating certain foods. I can eat steak and corn on the cob now, but no apples. Most of the time when I am at home, I do not wear them. They still hurt to wear for any length of time.
This has just been my experience and I just wanted to share it so that you can hear both sides. No matter how bad your own teeth may be, they can be fixed and be made very presentable. Once you have dentures, you can never go back. I would take my own natural teeth back in a heartbeat, if that was an option for me.
I wish you all the best of course, no matter what decision you make.
visit to the other side
I was at a bridge and on the other side I saw people sitting on lush lawn and playing in the water, lots of laughter, etc. I was met by a spirit who said (telepathically) that I had things to do before I came in but that it was totally my decision to stay or return. I chose to return. That evening I told my doctor the whole story, from the moment the nurse told him I had passed to what they did to my body next and my experience on the other side. Needless to say, he was speechless. This was in 1964 and none of these experiences had been published yet.
Actually, my side is to the door. sm
Can't put the desk anywhere else but in this corner.
side effects
Does anyone know it the Hoodia causes any side effects or if it affects blood pressure? I have both diabetes and hypertension and have to be careful what I take. Should be extra diligent in what I eat, but if I was I wouldn't be asking about Hoodia, now would I? Am really interested in learning about this. Need to lose a LOT of weight for health reasons, as well as clothes shopping. TIA
Look at the bright side
You have a great story to tell - your child will enjoy hearing it when she/he gets older. I laughed out loud when I read your post!
ON THE LIGHTER SIDE
Did you catch Gene Simmons' rectal examination and colonoscopy Tue night. The KISS demon himself. hahahaha
I have one on the right side of my lower
abdomen, only see it in swimsuit. Really wanted one on the back of my shoulder, but decided not to get one that would show when I was "dressed up." My ex told me I could NEVER have one, so when we divorced that is the first thing I did!!!!
that would be the dark side.
and I have moved on. this conversation is so over for me.
keep on the sunny side. I just want
to put my hands over my ears or slap her every time I hear it. Don't care for dreary phil collins, either, or at least I think it's phil collins - I can feel it coming on, oh lord.
On the gift side, do like we do...
he wants a $1200 item this year; fine, he can have it, but I get that same amount to do something with. If he wants to buy me a ring or some such bauble, fine, or he can just give me the cash to buy what I want.
And I have not asked you to be on my side (sm)
I asked for an opinion of whether it is abusive or not. And when one parent is abusive to a child the other one has to be a buffer. It is not a choice, it is a duty.
Tell me the good and bad side of
a ROTTWEILLER dog please? I have always wanted one, but I'm not used to owning anything but a little dog.
hmm, well let me tell my side of this story..
Well, first of all, I have had 4 kids all by C-section.. First 2, I was knocked out, 3rd had epidural, 4th had spinal..
First baby, Josh, weighed 9 lb. 14 oz. 3 weeks late, was out of it that whole day, as I had never been put to sleep, never had an IV, anything.. I think I was in shock..lol..
2nd baby, Jacobey, weighed 9 lb., on time scheduled, didn't let it get me down, I knew the quicker I did things, the quicker I got out of the hospital.. which with the first 2, I was in the hospital 4.5 days..
3rd baby, kelcie, weighed 9 lb. 2.5 oz, on time scheduled, epidural w/o morphine, did fine afterwards, came home in 2 days, the ladies who had c-sections directly before me had morphine, they couldn't even get up & walk around for 2 or 3 days, they were still in the hospital & I was going home..
4th baby, noah, weighed 9 lb. 14 oz., 3 weeks early, spinal, no problems, home in 2.5 days, so, any of it has it's "good & bad", but different things work for different people too..
This is just my experience with it, but had epidural w/ kelcie, and they called me the day before I was scheduled to go in & have her and asked if I wanted the plain or morphine epidural??? I had no clue there was even a choice, I just told them plain. While i was sitting waiting to be took into the OR, the anesthesiologist came & started asking ?? why I didn't want the morphine epidural?? I just told him I didn't know there was a choice & just chose plain. He got to harrassing me asking me WHY I didn't want morphine, did I have a drug problem was what it was amounting to?? geez.. man give me a break, first time doing this while awake & he was being a butt, then before he walked off, he said your going to be sorry.. which of course scared me even more.. but I didn't not care for the epidural at all... I have a spot where they put that in my back to this day (she will be 21 this year).. for quite a few years around my monthly time, if anybody just barely touched that it would have pain that would make you cry or take you to your knees.. & I can take pain pretty good... also, it is still tender around that area at times even now..
onto, 4th child, noah, had him in a different hospital, had a spinal which I had heard horrifying things about, BUT didn't want another epidural, this doctor said she preferred spinal block over epidural.. it was soooo much easier, didn't have any kind of pain afterwards, headaches or anything.. which I didn't have the headaches the first time around.. so, anyhoo, this is my side and my experiences with it..
You just don't want to acknowledge the ugly side
of the horse breedin' business is all. You go Google these two words, "Feedlot horses," and let me know what you find. Dollars to doughnuts says you won't find much about horses used in herdin' cattle....add in the word Thoroughbred to that search while your at it. Many of the rescues, Canter, Crossed Sabers, SWAP (Second Wind Adoption Program) rescue horses directly from these feedlots. Everyone immediately thinks of the mustangs being the only horses sent to slaughter because they are so high profile, but there is a white elephant in the room...one that generates a lot of money and prestige, and ignorance is bliss so people turn a blind eye. It's really quite sad.
Side effects of chemo
You are 100% correct in your post but there are a lot of other ailments that are also treated with drugs that can cause cancer and this is something people are advised against up front. I remember 1 kid in high school treated some an ailment and the side effect of his treatment was that he contracted cancer and died from that. I have known for years the connection between breast cancer and hormone replacement; thus when I came of age to perhaps take it I turned it down. My mother, on the other hand, given hormone replacement and contracted cancer from I believe irradiation 30 years earlier for tuberculosis in her lymph glands and she mentioned to me the fact her doctor still had her on replacement hormones. She, herself, knew the connection. I have 2 older aunts and myself who have never taken this treatment because we all know connection. Believe me, if you check on other maladies, you will find the treatment often can cause the side effects such as cancer of which you speak.
Still remember from seeing you this morning on the side
of the freeway. You said above you were poor, don’t hate on me because I can afford to pay for surgery for a dog that belongs to my friend. Maybe one day if you do good deals in life, you will have the same ability to do for our furfriends like I can do at this time. Sorry you are down, out and poor right now. Cheer up!
Reading about possible side effects,
I can see why you might feel anxious. Do you usually tolerate medications well, or do you tend to react oddly? Not that that is a big help. I know most meds work great for me, but even low doses of Topamax were bad for me in a sneaky way.
Tough choice. Do they know what is causing your occipital neuralgia? Sorry to hear you have that!
I have not heard of that as a side effect
of the surgery. LASIK is surgery on the outer surface of the eye, and the lens that clouds in a cataract is deeper in the eye, inside a little capsule. I think the eye doctor is going to say it's unrelated.
How old are you, by the way?
Cipro-side effects
I took Cipro last month for diverticulitis. Now I have EXTREME tendon and muscle pain. Anyone out there ever had this reaction?
Really strange response, are you on their side or
what? Probably they bought a ticket to get here and I would think it could work the same to return to their native lands. My religion as well as others in America are not so honored. I think something stinks and maybe it is just not the feet (although could be a combination of that and the armpits).
New find on the jewelry side....
I posted below when asking about Bakelite I thought I had and now looking on the web I find out I have even more, that being cellaloid jewelry and cameos, possibly a Bakelite radio that belonged to my father and some other jewelry. I am so excited because I can hardly wait to see what others would pay for it. So glad I found out from others about not having at yard sale! I would have really sold myself short. BYW, does anyone out there have any of the above mentioned and if so, have you sold or know your price on these particular types of jewelry. Thanks!
Acquainted 1 side, not the other, no closeness
NM
I have friend who lives on the other side
of the railroad tracks that cook these things.
Congratulations! My Mom was on the heavy side
You'll be fine! Have a happy and healthy pregnancy! All the best to you! 
I think sometimes men are not supposed to have a soft side
some think of as not being masculine but he shows me a calming, soothing, softened touch that I could just eat out of his hand. If he could bottle and sell, women would make him rich beyond his wildest. He is from a very large family, 11 in all and get this- none of the guys (around 7 or so), all married and not 1 divorce in the group! I think that speaks volumes- the range of age is from around 60s down to the upper 40s. I accused him of sprinkling gold dust in my eyes because years later still have that same feeling!
Perhaps what you wanted was to feel that someone was on your side and to tell you
that you made the right decision.
Obviously your on the side of insurance companies
Maybe you should educate yourself on insurance company profits rising via higher premiums despite more claims being denied due to risk. The problem is not the supposed risks, its the corporate greed. No matter how much you pay for insurance, a sizable portion of it goes to salary someone to find (and legislate)loopholes so they won't have to pay anyone's claim. Go ahead and buy into their propaganda that its other customers causing the problem, not their CEO's new mansion or their profit margin. Then see how much they appreciate your loyalty next time you file a claim.
There is an up side - I don't have to listen to him snore!
Well, okay, I have to listen to him in the other room, but at least its not right in my ear!
20 here on the west side of Michigan. nm
nm
$1.69 here on the west side of the state. nm
nm
My friends who rescued the pit on the side...sm
of the road -- he is a K9 officer. Just because it is run by police is no excuse to put them all down. Do you know pits are used for K9 dogs? Law enforcement would not use these dogs if they could not be trained to be civilized dogs.
My friends did take up a lot of time but they just wanted to help the dog.
Even though you don't like pits or maybe other large dogs I am glad you do help the small guys. I just love them all. I am a sucker for dogs. Your average doglover. It don't matter what kind. I am just that way. I can't help it.
You are free to stereotype any way you want. That is your right. But it just hurts me to see it because I know my dog is not like that. Some are dangerous dogs. But they were not raised to be family dogs. They didn't have good owners. I just want to give all dogs a chance. Even pit bulls.
I will say a pit bull is not a dog to be left out in the yard to roam the neighborhood. They are too big and strong to be let loose to possibly hurt someone. I will give you that.
This is my way of making some cash on the side...sm
I can sew and I love making cute crafty things. So this is a purse I made. I put it on ebay. We'll see if it sells. Give me ya'lls opinion please.
He's had "mistresses" on the side for YEARS.
Devout Catholics, his wife looked the other way as best she could and he tried to keep it out of the public eye.
I've an ex in the industry and have known about Mel's philadering for years. He even brings it onto the sets of his movies but everyone is signed to an iron-clad confidentiality agreement so no one speaks of his indiscretions.
It pretty much turned my stomach so I really don't even like him as an actor because of the inside knowledge of knowing how he (IMO) disrespected his wife and their marriage by carrying on as if he were a bachelor, and gets away with it by virtue of his celebrity status.
Yuck.
"GRASS IS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE."
You just do not know how good you have it. I was married for 15 years to a man who I found out did not know how to love. He had an antisocial personality (a con man). He was not a good husband or father. I finally got the gumption to divorce him after 15 years. I raised our 3 children without any help from him. My oldest child was 13, middle was 6, and the youngest was 3 when I left him. I cannot tell you the things I went through. What I would have given for a nice peaceful life with a man who loved me and took care of his family. I never remarried, as I now have trust issues. Be thankful for what you have. As you get older, hopefully you will mature (my husband never did), and you will see how lucky you are. It is hard to believe that you cannot see that now with the divorce rate being what it is now. I hope you will pray for guidance before you make any major decisions.
Speaking from the other side of the fence....
I have a DH with an ex-wife. She went down every 6 months to get his child support raised. Whether she needed it or not.
All she did was call the caseworker at Friend of the Court (That's what we call it in Michigan). There is a copy of the divorce decree etc on file at the court house.
So I would think that if you called your version of Friend of the Court where you live, they would be able to help you get things rolling. And at no cost either. In fact, they have forms down at our courthouse.
Good luck.
These are the possible side effects of SSRIs
On this website they did not mention violence and suicidal thoughts.
Side effects of SSRIs include:
Nausea
Sexual dysfunction, including reduced desire or orgasm difficulties
Dry mouth
Headache
Diarrhea
Nervousness
Rash
Agitation
Restlessness
Increased sweating
Weight gain
Drowsiness
Insomnia
Now you think that these SSRIs made your life 'worth living again?' Do you think that your life is only worth living when being on these antidepressants?
But I am happy for you that you feel better.
You know, that was about the only side effect I did have was vaginal dryness, but that (sm)
seemed to have fixed itself over about a year afterwards and I have not had any problems since. Luckily, that is one of the easiest side effects because they make stuff like that even for women that are not post hysterectomy. :)
Of course, on the flip side, during Gay Days, there were pics
with their wankies hanging out. American Family Association went in undercover and took a LOT of pics much like this. The problem...DisneyWorld treated it just like any other day and parents were bringing their entire families in the park only to find out once inside what their children were being subjected to. There was nothing posted ahead of time or during Gay Days that would have forewarned heterosexuals of the week long event. My understanding is that DisneyWorld still hosts Gay Days, but now announce prior to and during the event so heterosexuals, heterosexual parents raising their children are aware.
This is not false information, it is absolutely truthful, so it has nothing to do with my personal opinion.
Well you are really not helping matters or having people side with you
when you keep bragging about how wonderful your kids are and family your family is, lol.. and assuming everyone else's is all screwed up. You know what they say.....usually one who accuses is the one with the problems. People who truly have a wonderful family life and great kids do not usually have a need to keep reaffirming and reassuring everyone of that fact ; )
I think maybe the boy sucked out some of your sanity...
:)
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