They need it all - Love, attention and Discipline (sm)
Posted By: Lisa on 2007-09-13
In Reply to: I blame the parents. Children are not getting the love and attention - they need.
Not saying my two will never do anything wrong - they are 10 and 7 - but I shower them with love and attention - However, they know what lines not to cross too. However in the case above, it just sounds like pure out neglect -my 10 year old would not be somewhere without me knowing it to begin with (nor when he is 12 for that matter)and it would not even cross his mind to do something like that. I would think he had gone totally insane!
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I blame the parents. Children are not getting the love and attention
xx
Discipline
Discipline goes hand-in-hand with love and attention. It seems that these days kids do not face any consequences for their actions. My nephew got into trouble for shooting paintballs at a mailbox, and his mom (works for the sheriff) got him out of it. I don't think she is doing him any favors by letting him off the hook. Just my opinion. My son is only 7, but he knows right from wrong.
Us girls need WAY more discipline than boys!
If you don't keep us in line when we're young and impressionable....whoo boy look out!
I'm watching how my nieces are turning out now that they are in their teens and I'm just floored. The one, who is not even 16 now, has been sleeping with her boyfriend, IN HER PARENTS HOME WITH THEIR FULL CONSENT, for the past 2 years now. I ask my brother all the time, "What are you thinking...wait, don't answer that, you're not!" He just shakes his head and tries to explain to me that, because I'm not a parent, I could never understand and he'd rather have them "doing it" in the safety of their home. Can you imagine?!
Our mother would be slapping him into the next millenium if she were alive today. She certainly didn't raise us like that.
Yes. And discipline means desciple.
Parents are to provide discipline, desciple means one who is taught. Spare the rod means let them do whatever feels right. Well, in the real world that is a dangerous way to approach life. So, to me spare the rod means if you don't set boundaries, spoil the child, you have a child always testing boundaries who will someday have no or little morals. At least that is my idea of the saying.
I think someone liked the attention
The "I'm so appalled" act is just that, an act.
I can't imagine being that needy of male attention beyond high school or college age, but that's what I'm reading into this one.
Most likely it was done for attention, like
everything else she's been doing. That's what you have to do when everybody has already seen your shaved nether-regions, I guess.
She does it for the attention, especially if she's sm
grinning at you afterward. I would just put her in the playpen or in the middle of the livingroom floor where she can't bang into anything or hurt herself and walk away. If she doesn't get a reaction, it won't be fun anymore. Good luck. They can be real stinkers, even at that young age.
He only wants attention
He only wants back what he had before, which was someone taking care of him financially and other ways. His threats of suicide are only to make you feel sorry for him and do what he wants. basically a form of manipulation. A person who truly wants to end his life will not "threaten", but just do it. been there with others in my family. If you "allow" him to manipulate you, you are feeding his problem. Make him stand on his own and either make it or fail. If he fails enough, he will learn to make it on his own. Don't take up his whining. Don't give into his "demands." Don't answer the phone. Don't answer the door. When he can't find someone to feel sorry for him, he will move on to the next target, or try it on his own. He has just never grown up. He has been catered to all his life and wants that to not change. My mother is the same way. You have to be strong. You have to disassociate. It's hard, but "tough love." good luck to you.
Just pay attention
to what he says and does in the future. It may have had harmless intent, but if he really is looking to use you, it will keep showing up in various ways.
ya really think the cashiers even PAY ATTENTION????
She's getting waaaay too much attention
I heard she was offered a half million dollar contract to be a spokesperson for an adult DVD company.
THANK YOU for bringing that to my attention
I totally agree, and I signed the petition. I wish they would pass a similar bill about childbirth. Some women can only stay in the hospital 24 hours after their child is born (or it may be 24 hours total, I'm not sure). Or at least that's all their insurance will pay for, if it is a healthy birth with no complications.
I am currently fighting with my HMO about a medication that I desperately need. At the moment I am buying it through a "Canadian pharmacy" (based in New York state) and it is sent to me from Mumbai, India. In the U.S., the medication costs $10.00 a pill!!! Through this pharmacy, I get it for $1.77 a pill. But it is still more than twice what my normal co-pay would be if the $#@%#$ HMO would cover it.
So any kind of insurance reform bills that ANYONE knows about, PLEASE pass the info along. Thanks!
This sounds more like a way to get attention.
If he's feeling like he wants to do things himself, then let him. I think if you feed into it then that would make him do it more. I would simply say to him "Okay, if you're not going to be nice, then Mommy is leaving the room now". Tell him to let you know when he can be nice and you'll come back to play or show him things. He does probably know this behavior causes quite a stir with you. He'll most likely grow out of it though. I think all kids have temper tantrums. It is part of growing up. Some adults even still to this day throw temper tantrums, so go figure! I'm sure things will work themselves out.
P/S: Reward him for good behavior and time out or not giving him attention for bad behavior. Put a chart on the refrigerator so that he can keep track himself when he is nice and watch how fast he wants to be nice so he can put the sticker on the chart or what have you! 
Sounds like he got a LOT of attention
x
I'll bet if you pay attention
you will discover some fears. Some you might not recognize as fear but insecurities are fears and everyone has some.
I think that attention-seeker should definitely
give her poor mom a break, and quit sponging off her. Then she could hire a couple Super-nannies to take care of all those kids, and pay her own medical bills for them, instead of us taxpayers.
I think she'd be an excellent porn-star. She's halfway there already.
People should pay attention and put posts on
nm
Media and attention seekers...sm
There is nothing wrong with "children today" anymore than children of any other day. Half the problem is the media and all the attention they are giving this and other similar things of this nature. The media are reporting every shooting, every violent act they can get their hands on and grouping them together because people watch this crap. Bad things happen every day and will continue to happen. It's just part of life. The more media attention things like this get, the more people wanting attention will copy it.
Pay attention to post above hypothyroid too
because I, after taking Synthroid for years and having the excessive hair loss among other things, came to this board and was told about Armour and I went to my physician and told him that was what I wanted and got onto that. The itching immediately went away, the coldness stays with me as soon as the temperature dips, have cold extremities always in the winter months and as I said before, still have moments of absolute exhausation where I take time to just recline and spend about 30 minutes there. I told my daughter about my diagnosis but could not find on my maternal side a previous diagnosis. Asking my father, he was unable to give me any history on his side so I figured we just ought to do a DNA. Just kidding. Good luck!
Could be an attention/jealously thing too - sm
Why did dad take both kids to the game? Yeah its a lot harder with a little one but he needs to learn how to act when out in public too. We started taking ours out to dinner with us at a young age. They know how to act in a resturant and behave because of it. As for his comment on how hard can it be, this Saturday I'd dump the 3-y/o on him and go out for the entire day and see how he copes. My 2 (girls) have always been pretty good, they have had their moments and I have used time-outs, spanking, taking away treats/toys, etc. But are you right on target ignoring it, just walk away and let him scream, if he makes a mess have him (help) clean it up after he is done wailing. As it maybe being a cry for more of your attention or your husbands, are you working more than usual right now, do you spend any 1:1 time with him for say 20-30 minutes a day? If he doesn't get much of that then try making some time for him and get your DH to take him somewhere too just the 2 of them (granted if he is anything like my DH he never has the kids.....mine just started doing stuff with them on his own about 2 years ago when they were 5 and 7, so I get the rare 3 hours to myself on Saturday if he takes them to the movies or bowling). But your DH definitely needs to get a clue.
he wants your attention; take an hour and play with him
nm
Sounds like she is trying to get attention to me and it is working. sm
Can you not call and speak to the counselor yourself rather than your son? I couldn't confront the mother either but the counselor could if she saw it fit.
But look at all the attention you get every time you post about it. sm
As Dr. Phil would say, you're getting something out of this drama. You're getting all kinds of attention and pity. You spend a lot of time recounting all the details of every encounter on here.
I think lots of times it is the 1 you don't pay attention to
How about the 17 year old in Germany that killed so many today. He was an average student, blended in, no problems before in his life and suddenly goes on a rampage, goes back to his old high school and shoots at random. I probably would be taking a 5 years old's comment like this with a grain of salt knowing the age. I would let it go this time but if it continued then I would think who would be the most objective, the parents, someone at school and that is who I would approach. The parents might even be worse than this kid. I have seen really bad kid before and what do you know, the parent just as bad.
And I think someone is jealous, what's wrong, no male attention for you? lol
I totally agree with the OP. I too have been inappropriately treated by men, uncomfortable staring or smiling or flitatious comments and it gets a little tiresome. The problem is that men never grow up. They would do this into their 90s if they could still see!
yup - back and CRAVING attention, as usual...n/m
When did parents stop paying attention?
I'm nearly done raising my kids, and they're good kids. In addition, I've been a boy scout leader for 12 years, so often I'm around a lot of really good kids who have parents who care. Tonight I was helping out a cub scout meeting with a bunch of bright-eyed, energetic cubs. Two of our older boys, 12-year-olds from the boy scout troop were also helping out. At one point, the kids all went outside with the den leader and another parent to do an activity. This was around 7:30 p.m. and it was dark outside. One of the boy scouts came back inside to get me. He wanted to let me know that they had to move the cubbies away from some "bigger" kids outside. Turns out, there were some 9th graders hanging out at the back of the school building where we meet. They were sitting near the playground, smoking and filling an empty 2-liter soda bottle with smoke, making smoke rings. They weren't particularly noisy, but their language was atrocious. Obviously, we didn't want that example near the little ones.
So I walked over and said to them in a calm voice, "Hey folks, I'm bringing some 2nd graders around here, and I'd like for you to move off the property." They just looked at me with an "I-hate-the-world" look, rolled their eyes and said, "Yeah, sure." Of course, there was no movement. I say, "I've asked you nicely once. You move now. You don't get another warning." One of our scout dads started heading over at that point. He's a big man about 300 pounds. These kids, two boys and a girl, started spewing language you wouldn't want a longshoreman to hear. I'm no prude, and I've done less than bright things as a teenager, and I've paid my dues working with some troubled kids. I wasn't shocked by the language, though, I didn't like it at all.
I did, at one point, say to them, "Look, can you do this at home?" The girl's reply was, "Yeah, my parents aren't old."
That one actually made me laugh. I said to her, "Well, if it's ok to do this at home, then that's a good place to be. You can't be here." She started screeching about how adults just don't show respect to her, and I laughed and said, "I'm sorry you feel that way, really sorry. Because that means you don't understand that you are being treated just the way you are asking me to treat you. In fact, I'm being way more patient than I need to be." I know she didn't understand. Nothing was out of bounds with these kids. The other adult with me made a remark to them about how little he thought of their parents because of their behavior. One overly-brave kid said that his parents were fantastic and let him do whatever he wanted. Yeah. That was pretty obvious. He told us we shouldn't be disrespecting his parents. I told him that I would never want to do that. Would he, therefore, please go home, tell his parents what happened and send them back down to me. I'd be there for the next 30 minutes. No one showed of, of course.
What gets me isn't so much the smoking, the lack of concern about the example they set for the little children nearby, or the language. Certainly, all of that was awful. But the big problem was the complete lack of respect they have for anyone else, especially adults. And as they behaved like obnoxious brats, they preached about how they should be treated with respect! I hear this over and over form kids. If I can get them to actually have a decent dialogue, I usually ask the kids to define respect. They generally give me a correct definition, but that's not what they are asking for. What they really mean when they say that adults don't respect them is, "You won't let me do what I want to do."
So when did parents stop teaching kids these basic rules of conduct, and when did parents forget to really teach children about respect for others and respect for themselves? I'd be absolutely sure the world was going to Hades in a handbasket if it weren't for the really wonderful kids I work with each week. "My" boy scouts are great kids!
Unfortunately, the 12-year-old boy scout who called my attention to the loitering kids saw most of the exchange above. But later he came to me and said, "You know what? Now I know why you are constantly on top of us about our language and our behavior at scouts."
"Really? Why's that?"
"Those kids don't even realize that what they were doing was so awful. They think they have a right to argue and yell and curse. They do it all the time at school, so they think it's o.k. If you were to let us do that all the time, we'd think it was o.k., too."
Now there's a kid who will go far! And it was one of my payoff moments in scouts!
Attention: Anon....website for stepmoms
Anon,
I read your post about your stepson. I just wanted to let you know that I belong to a wonderful website that allows stepmoms to talk about their issues, give advice, share positives thoughts, vent, etc. I have learned a lot from the wonderful ladies on there. Here is the website if your are interested.
www.stepsforstepmothers.com
Pay close attention to the post above...It is righter than rain!!!
NM
Imagine that men are checking me out? Hardley the case! Starved for attention? Nope just asking a qu
other people's intelligent comments, I was not looking for ignorant assumptions! Starved for attention? Not exactly. Is that a problem that you yourself are facing?
Had you have read all of my posts (OP) you would see that I was only looking for comments from others to see if this was odd behavior or not...and I thanked everyone for their comments regardless of their answers! I was not looking to start a fight here! Please do not be nasty! It is not necessary! We are all adults here!
I LOVE love love shallots! I use them in everything that calls for an onion and/or garlic. Mmmmmm. n
x
American Idol - Love, love, love Adam!!!
I think he'll make it til the end! At least I hope so!
My niece had a Yorkie, the love of her life! We all loved her so. Lots of love in store for you.
XX
Love movie "A Christmas Story" when dogs eat the turkey and they go out for Chinese. We love d
nm
She's sweet. I think she's gorgeous. Love her hair. Love her sm
smile. I wish I looked that great! I don't even come close, so who am I do judge? I admire beauty greatly in other women...I envy them!
sweet....love the heart charm, he's got love.
nm
God bless you on your path, all love begins with self-love, so you are really on your way.....sm
We should have less time putting needless labels on things, paying attention to dividing lines, and pratice more love, understanding, and humiility....we will all have things to answer for, no one is perfect, but I believe we are all precious and loved by the Lord, who knows all hearts, and has infinitely more compassion and mercy than ANY of us can comprehend. Be happy and take care of yourself, sexuality is such a small part of who we are in this world, but you have to be happy and at peace.
I love the animal channel, really love it and
my sweetie and I both watch but I absolutely, even if I know nature and the balance of, want to see small animals being killed and eaten and so forth. I know it happens but I either change the station or pick up the paper and read or find another way so I don’t watch. Also watch Discovery, love animals and love those shows!
I love you! hahaha I love your response! You can come over here sm
and kick my butt the next time I "allow" my husband to make me feel crap for whatever reason - which there seems to be many - he wouldn't complain if I made more money than him because his lazy behind wants to stay home and do nothing all day except to play golf. He tells me all the time, "when are you going to own your MT business so I can golf all day."
But, he is very mean, also. He hurts my feelings constantly and doesn't even care. He makes me drive around in his truck with bald tires and I don't like doing that for fear of a blow out and he'll just tell me, "well, don't go anywhere then." We have the money in the bank to get new tires, but he won't get them.
I love your comment, though!
And for all of you who will say, "well, leave the jerk!" It isn't that easy. We have 3 boys and I would be homeless. I only make 300 every 2 weeks MTing. We have a lovely home with a lot of space and besides him living here, the kids and I LOVE it and love each other so much.
Well, I LOVE a challenge too, Would love to debate this one day with you! sm
haha
Seriously, I was a staunch atheist for 20+ years. It's funny, though. I, too, believe that we are all electrical energies and that energy doesn't "die" and so, theoretically, where does your "electricity" go when you die, i.e., your spirit? I believe that "energy" within us is our spirit life - and that must go somewhere, right? It doesn't just go into the groun - which is what I thought for so long.
Anyways, when I learned about our "energy" and how it must go somewhere, I was really testing the waters of Christianity up to that point. After hearing about that, I was convinced that there must be an afterlife. I believe we go either of 2 places.
Anyways, I love ALL people of all religions, regardless of what I "think" or "believe." I don't think any less of you because of your beliefs! If I were to believe in a God who forgave me and loved me in my mut and mire, who am I to judge and criticize those who think differently of me?
I've always liked you no matter what your philosophy on life was....
Love people who love dogs.
nm
I love the dressing and I love lemon pie..sm
My mom's lemon pie that is. I also love this dessert called Texas Delight or some people call it different things but is is layers of chocolate pudding and cream cheese and whipped cream. The food is my favorite part besides the watching my son open presents on x-mas.
Young love/older love
I think it has a lot to do with your age and his. I married hubby at age 59 and he was 49. Best thing I ever did but say if you are 30 and he is 20, hmmm in that case might not be so workable. What are the ages here?
Give her love, love, love and if she...
doesn't want medicine - don't force it. Does she like to be stroked or does she like her belly rubbed? You better than anyone else know how to make her feel loved. Give her that. If her times comes before Monday, all the better for you and her. She'll die peacefully in her loving home. But, if not, be prepared to give her the last loving gesture you can - if it's time to, than let her go.
I had to put my 13 year old Lab down two months ago. It is one of the hardest things to do. But, you'll know when it's time. My dog, Shadow, told me he was done, tired, beat. He sent me the message quite clearly. But, still I waited, not for him but for me! Finally I "heard: him and did what needed to be done. I sobbed for hours and then just suddenly stopped, I realized I was crying for me - not for him! He had had a wonderful loving home with "mom and dad and brother". He was old and tired and wanted to rest. He deserved that rest! So, it's done. Yeah, I'm still sad. But I know that it was the right thing to do. And, yeah, call me nuts if you want - I know that when it's my time that Shadow will come running, knock me over, sit down on my chest and lick me silly!
Now, I'll go and give my cat lots of love and remember the fun I had with Shadow. My thoughts are with you - make the best of the time you have with your loved one's, be them human or furry! My thoughts are with you.
We will all pray for him. Your love and God's love will keep him SM
strong until he is home! 
It is better to love and have lost than to not know love at all...
Who do you really love? This is not meant to sound rude, but to make you think...if you felt like ending your life and acted upon it because you loved someone so deep but they did not feel the same way, do you think that ending your life is really going to make them love you anymore? No...now you mentioned your mom and family, would they hurt more if something happened to you? I have entertained thses thoughts before and girl, he is not worth it. The main ingredient in Love is YOU...you have to love yourself first. My situation was different but you know, love is love. We can not make another being love us. We give them too much power. If he is gay, let that be him sinking in that ship alone. What I mean by that is to give someone yourself is one of the most precious gifts, but knowing that they are giving to Tom, Thomas and Timothy is very demeaning to you. No matter how much you want him to touch you, it is good that he isn't. DISEASES, don't discriminate, nor does death. Please my friend, listen to your inner feelings/thoughts and know that you will survive, but only if you believe.
May be Love...
to your husband, but sometimes being a parent calls for tough love to teach lessons that children need to learn and if that means missing a meal, missing a dance concert, missing a weekend of fun with friends for being grounded, so be it.
We are going to just have to agree to disagree about my parenting style. It works well in my family and my children are safe, sane, and happy and will be well prepared for whatever life throws at them. It's not all puppys and rainbows and it's never too early to teach them that.
love it ! ! !
x
I use them too and love them!
When I clean, I have a wet one and a dry one. You can use the dry one to polish things after cleaning them or getting any streaks off mirrors after cleaning. They work great, and you just throw them in the washing machine when you are done. Sam’s has a big pack of them in the auto section where they sale stuff for mechanics, and they are relatively inexpensive.
Love it!! nm
oo
They love it!
My oldest is 12 and has been dancing since she was three. My other two are 9 and 5. They still do ballet, but have also done jazz, tap, polynesian, mid-eastern, and others. They love it, it is good exercise, and builds wonderful grace, style and discipline. They also play sports, but dance is their first choice of extra activities. Enjoy it!!!
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