This sounds more like a way to get attention.
Posted By: SM on 2007-10-31
In Reply to: anyone have a very independent, hard-headed kid??? sm - exhausted
If he's feeling like he wants to do things himself, then let him. I think if you feed into it then that would make him do it more. I would simply say to him "Okay, if you're not going to be nice, then Mommy is leaving the room now". Tell him to let you know when he can be nice and you'll come back to play or show him things. He does probably know this behavior causes quite a stir with you. He'll most likely grow out of it though. I think all kids have temper tantrums. It is part of growing up. Some adults even still to this day throw temper tantrums, so go figure! I'm sure things will work themselves out.
P/S: Reward him for good behavior and time out or not giving him attention for bad behavior. Put a chart on the refrigerator so that he can keep track himself when he is nice and watch how fast he wants to be nice so he can put the sticker on the chart or what have you! 
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Sounds like he got a LOT of attention
x
Sounds like she is trying to get attention to me and it is working. sm
Can you not call and speak to the counselor yourself rather than your son? I couldn't confront the mother either but the counselor could if she saw it fit.
I think someone liked the attention
The "I'm so appalled" act is just that, an act.
I can't imagine being that needy of male attention beyond high school or college age, but that's what I'm reading into this one.
Most likely it was done for attention, like
everything else she's been doing. That's what you have to do when everybody has already seen your shaved nether-regions, I guess.
She does it for the attention, especially if she's sm
grinning at you afterward. I would just put her in the playpen or in the middle of the livingroom floor where she can't bang into anything or hurt herself and walk away. If she doesn't get a reaction, it won't be fun anymore. Good luck. They can be real stinkers, even at that young age.
He only wants attention
He only wants back what he had before, which was someone taking care of him financially and other ways. His threats of suicide are only to make you feel sorry for him and do what he wants. basically a form of manipulation. A person who truly wants to end his life will not "threaten", but just do it. been there with others in my family. If you "allow" him to manipulate you, you are feeding his problem. Make him stand on his own and either make it or fail. If he fails enough, he will learn to make it on his own. Don't take up his whining. Don't give into his "demands." Don't answer the phone. Don't answer the door. When he can't find someone to feel sorry for him, he will move on to the next target, or try it on his own. He has just never grown up. He has been catered to all his life and wants that to not change. My mother is the same way. You have to be strong. You have to disassociate. It's hard, but "tough love." good luck to you.
Just pay attention
to what he says and does in the future. It may have had harmless intent, but if he really is looking to use you, it will keep showing up in various ways.
ya really think the cashiers even PAY ATTENTION????
She's getting waaaay too much attention
I heard she was offered a half million dollar contract to be a spokesperson for an adult DVD company.
THANK YOU for bringing that to my attention
I totally agree, and I signed the petition. I wish they would pass a similar bill about childbirth. Some women can only stay in the hospital 24 hours after their child is born (or it may be 24 hours total, I'm not sure). Or at least that's all their insurance will pay for, if it is a healthy birth with no complications.
I am currently fighting with my HMO about a medication that I desperately need. At the moment I am buying it through a "Canadian pharmacy" (based in New York state) and it is sent to me from Mumbai, India. In the U.S., the medication costs $10.00 a pill!!! Through this pharmacy, I get it for $1.77 a pill. But it is still more than twice what my normal co-pay would be if the $#@%#$ HMO would cover it.
So any kind of insurance reform bills that ANYONE knows about, PLEASE pass the info along. Thanks!
I'll bet if you pay attention
you will discover some fears. Some you might not recognize as fear but insecurities are fears and everyone has some.
I think that attention-seeker should definitely
give her poor mom a break, and quit sponging off her. Then she could hire a couple Super-nannies to take care of all those kids, and pay her own medical bills for them, instead of us taxpayers.
I think she'd be an excellent porn-star. She's halfway there already.
People should pay attention and put posts on
nm
Media and attention seekers...sm
There is nothing wrong with "children today" anymore than children of any other day. Half the problem is the media and all the attention they are giving this and other similar things of this nature. The media are reporting every shooting, every violent act they can get their hands on and grouping them together because people watch this crap. Bad things happen every day and will continue to happen. It's just part of life. The more media attention things like this get, the more people wanting attention will copy it.
Pay attention to post above hypothyroid too
because I, after taking Synthroid for years and having the excessive hair loss among other things, came to this board and was told about Armour and I went to my physician and told him that was what I wanted and got onto that. The itching immediately went away, the coldness stays with me as soon as the temperature dips, have cold extremities always in the winter months and as I said before, still have moments of absolute exhausation where I take time to just recline and spend about 30 minutes there. I told my daughter about my diagnosis but could not find on my maternal side a previous diagnosis. Asking my father, he was unable to give me any history on his side so I figured we just ought to do a DNA. Just kidding. Good luck!
They need it all - Love, attention and Discipline (sm)
Not saying my two will never do anything wrong - they are 10 and 7 - but I shower them with love and attention - However, they know what lines not to cross too. However in the case above, it just sounds like pure out neglect -my 10 year old would not be somewhere without me knowing it to begin with (nor when he is 12 for that matter)and it would not even cross his mind to do something like that. I would think he had gone totally insane!
Could be an attention/jealously thing too - sm
Why did dad take both kids to the game? Yeah its a lot harder with a little one but he needs to learn how to act when out in public too. We started taking ours out to dinner with us at a young age. They know how to act in a resturant and behave because of it. As for his comment on how hard can it be, this Saturday I'd dump the 3-y/o on him and go out for the entire day and see how he copes. My 2 (girls) have always been pretty good, they have had their moments and I have used time-outs, spanking, taking away treats/toys, etc. But are you right on target ignoring it, just walk away and let him scream, if he makes a mess have him (help) clean it up after he is done wailing. As it maybe being a cry for more of your attention or your husbands, are you working more than usual right now, do you spend any 1:1 time with him for say 20-30 minutes a day? If he doesn't get much of that then try making some time for him and get your DH to take him somewhere too just the 2 of them (granted if he is anything like my DH he never has the kids.....mine just started doing stuff with them on his own about 2 years ago when they were 5 and 7, so I get the rare 3 hours to myself on Saturday if he takes them to the movies or bowling). But your DH definitely needs to get a clue.
he wants your attention; take an hour and play with him
nm
But look at all the attention you get every time you post about it. sm
As Dr. Phil would say, you're getting something out of this drama. You're getting all kinds of attention and pity. You spend a lot of time recounting all the details of every encounter on here.
I think lots of times it is the 1 you don't pay attention to
How about the 17 year old in Germany that killed so many today. He was an average student, blended in, no problems before in his life and suddenly goes on a rampage, goes back to his old high school and shoots at random. I probably would be taking a 5 years old's comment like this with a grain of salt knowing the age. I would let it go this time but if it continued then I would think who would be the most objective, the parents, someone at school and that is who I would approach. The parents might even be worse than this kid. I have seen really bad kid before and what do you know, the parent just as bad.
And I think someone is jealous, what's wrong, no male attention for you? lol
I totally agree with the OP. I too have been inappropriately treated by men, uncomfortable staring or smiling or flitatious comments and it gets a little tiresome. The problem is that men never grow up. They would do this into their 90s if they could still see!
yup - back and CRAVING attention, as usual...n/m
When did parents stop paying attention?
I'm nearly done raising my kids, and they're good kids. In addition, I've been a boy scout leader for 12 years, so often I'm around a lot of really good kids who have parents who care. Tonight I was helping out a cub scout meeting with a bunch of bright-eyed, energetic cubs. Two of our older boys, 12-year-olds from the boy scout troop were also helping out. At one point, the kids all went outside with the den leader and another parent to do an activity. This was around 7:30 p.m. and it was dark outside. One of the boy scouts came back inside to get me. He wanted to let me know that they had to move the cubbies away from some "bigger" kids outside. Turns out, there were some 9th graders hanging out at the back of the school building where we meet. They were sitting near the playground, smoking and filling an empty 2-liter soda bottle with smoke, making smoke rings. They weren't particularly noisy, but their language was atrocious. Obviously, we didn't want that example near the little ones.
So I walked over and said to them in a calm voice, "Hey folks, I'm bringing some 2nd graders around here, and I'd like for you to move off the property." They just looked at me with an "I-hate-the-world" look, rolled their eyes and said, "Yeah, sure." Of course, there was no movement. I say, "I've asked you nicely once. You move now. You don't get another warning." One of our scout dads started heading over at that point. He's a big man about 300 pounds. These kids, two boys and a girl, started spewing language you wouldn't want a longshoreman to hear. I'm no prude, and I've done less than bright things as a teenager, and I've paid my dues working with some troubled kids. I wasn't shocked by the language, though, I didn't like it at all.
I did, at one point, say to them, "Look, can you do this at home?" The girl's reply was, "Yeah, my parents aren't old."
That one actually made me laugh. I said to her, "Well, if it's ok to do this at home, then that's a good place to be. You can't be here." She started screeching about how adults just don't show respect to her, and I laughed and said, "I'm sorry you feel that way, really sorry. Because that means you don't understand that you are being treated just the way you are asking me to treat you. In fact, I'm being way more patient than I need to be." I know she didn't understand. Nothing was out of bounds with these kids. The other adult with me made a remark to them about how little he thought of their parents because of their behavior. One overly-brave kid said that his parents were fantastic and let him do whatever he wanted. Yeah. That was pretty obvious. He told us we shouldn't be disrespecting his parents. I told him that I would never want to do that. Would he, therefore, please go home, tell his parents what happened and send them back down to me. I'd be there for the next 30 minutes. No one showed of, of course.
What gets me isn't so much the smoking, the lack of concern about the example they set for the little children nearby, or the language. Certainly, all of that was awful. But the big problem was the complete lack of respect they have for anyone else, especially adults. And as they behaved like obnoxious brats, they preached about how they should be treated with respect! I hear this over and over form kids. If I can get them to actually have a decent dialogue, I usually ask the kids to define respect. They generally give me a correct definition, but that's not what they are asking for. What they really mean when they say that adults don't respect them is, "You won't let me do what I want to do."
So when did parents stop teaching kids these basic rules of conduct, and when did parents forget to really teach children about respect for others and respect for themselves? I'd be absolutely sure the world was going to Hades in a handbasket if it weren't for the really wonderful kids I work with each week. "My" boy scouts are great kids!
Unfortunately, the 12-year-old boy scout who called my attention to the loitering kids saw most of the exchange above. But later he came to me and said, "You know what? Now I know why you are constantly on top of us about our language and our behavior at scouts."
"Really? Why's that?"
"Those kids don't even realize that what they were doing was so awful. They think they have a right to argue and yell and curse. They do it all the time at school, so they think it's o.k. If you were to let us do that all the time, we'd think it was o.k., too."
Now there's a kid who will go far! And it was one of my payoff moments in scouts!
Attention: Anon....website for stepmoms
Anon,
I read your post about your stepson. I just wanted to let you know that I belong to a wonderful website that allows stepmoms to talk about their issues, give advice, share positives thoughts, vent, etc. I have learned a lot from the wonderful ladies on there. Here is the website if your are interested.
www.stepsforstepmothers.com
I blame the parents. Children are not getting the love and attention
xx
Pay close attention to the post above...It is righter than rain!!!
NM
Imagine that men are checking me out? Hardley the case! Starved for attention? Nope just asking a qu
other people's intelligent comments, I was not looking for ignorant assumptions! Starved for attention? Not exactly. Is that a problem that you yourself are facing?
Had you have read all of my posts (OP) you would see that I was only looking for comments from others to see if this was odd behavior or not...and I thanked everyone for their comments regardless of their answers! I was not looking to start a fight here! Please do not be nasty! It is not necessary! We are all adults here!
You may be, from the sounds of your posts, sounds like an *illegal*
and that in itself is a crime. Nobody else would take 65.00 for an entire day slaving/laundry, heavy cleaning, etc. LOL. Nah, I don't think so. I'm just saying, what it sounds like to me. : )
He sounds wonderful...sounds like you two have a relationship (sm)
based on love and nothing superficial at all. I'm glad you appreciate him and are so grateful for him. Best wishes & continued happiness to you both :-)
Sounds like you are doing everything right...
Hang in there. It sounds to like you are doing everything right. I totally agree that kids are under too much pressure these days and that they certainly need to be given more time to just be kids. Being a single mom I try make sure that my children grow up to be responsible adults with good morals and values, but I also make sure that they have their space so they have a chance to make their own choices (when possible) and see the consequences of those choices. Being a parent is certainly not easy and doing it in today's society is stressful to say the least.
As for your neighbor, I think she could take some lessons from you. Good luck and keep your chin up!!!
Sounds to me like . . .
she has the attention she wanted, it's almost like you took her bait. She sent you nasty Emails and now you are begging her to forgive you. You know the the saying "Don't cast pearls before swine". Sounds like she can more easily respond to the negative rather than the positive. Anyway, what would you do if she forgave you? Be her friend again? Until she changes her heart, you're better off, keep your distance. She sees your goodness as weakness. It's probably fun for her to make you uncomfortable. Maybe deep down she is jealous of you. Don't hate her, be sad for her. Don't fall into her games.
sounds like a CC I used to have, which did--sm
pretty much the same thing. They said it was their *annual fee* and, like you, I just paid it to keep the peace and close the account. Personally I think it is a scam just to get a few more dollars out of you, but how do you prove it and who do you complain to??? I don't have credit cards any longer either. Learned my lesson too. what a rip!
Sounds like (sm)
your FIL has two abled bodies to care for him already. Why should you go back? It would probably be nice if you checked in once in a while and took your 2-year-old to visit, but moving back sounds like it would put a strain on things. Your husband may be feeling guilty and feels the need to "help". Explain to him that helping is taking some groceries once in a while or offering to pick-up meds, etc. You, your husband, and child would be probably a breath of fresh air once in a while if you were to just visit on occasion. Moving back seems a little like overkill, but it is tough because when it is family you want to give it your all! Also, there is one in every family that "freeloads". Let them figure it out for now. Hope your FIL is feeling better soon and hope you can find your way to be helpful without having to sacrifice your new home.... Take care and good luck...
sounds mean . . .sm
but when my daughter and husband were pulling that on me I told my daughter it was not safe that she could die very easily in the front seat or get hurt very badly. She quit asking, daddy quit doing it. Now she is 12-1/2 and no problem there, she is 5Ƌ" and weighs about 130 pounds. But I used to get SO FRUSTRATED!!! Daddy's little girl . . . .
Don't know that one, but it sounds sm
like a good time. if you are in for an evening away from the parks. I have friends who own Sleuth's dinner theater. Three theaters, dinner included, plus one is only for kids, I think. You enjoy a great dinner, and a murder mystery play, where you take part in solving the mystery. It is right on Universal Drive and I think the website is sleuths.com
sounds like your going to anyway.
but i would urge you to proceed with caution, go very very slowly. When it seems too perfect, too good to be true, it may be wrong. One of my first thoughts is that if he is the spiritual man you think, ie, Christian, he might not have had 2 divorces -- not always the case, but often times. you both need to know what your own faults are and be careful to not make the same mistakes. More than anything (outside of knowing each other very well, nonintimately) is have real committment on both sides, the determination to stay with the marriage. i married a man with 2 divorces too -- 25 yr later we're still married. But it was sheer determination to make it work on my part, lots of prayer and such. I did endure what one should not have to, to get to this point. Once i was into it, i certainly understood how come he had been divorced twice. Wishing you the best.
Sounds like now as of this a.m.
Apparently the so-called lawyer owns a business called Hot Lips Smoochy or something like that and has never tried any cases at all. He is apparently the executor of her estate. Now isn't that convenient? He tells the photographer Daddy that she lost the baby, but she winds up having a baby anyway 9 months later. The photographer breaks it off with her because she is drinking while pregnant. Oh my, the gossip. She looks like she's all drugged-up on any interviews I've seen, and I saw one last night from 3 days before her death. She is wearing dark glasses for the first part (inside), and they go outside, and she takes the glasses off. Makes no sense. I don't know, but what does Granny want with the baby now? That poor baby! So many Daddies?????? I have never seen men trying to prove they ARE the father in all of my life? Twists and turns this story has, which I'm sure has the producers in Hollywood salivating. There will be books and there will be moves. Life happens, I guess.
It sounds to me like you are not even willing --sm
to compromise on this and want everything YOUR way. What arrangement does HE want? Do you even know? You never said what HE would like. It is just my opinion, but it does not sound like you are even ready to get married, if you cannot find a way to compromise on even this small detail. Good luck to you.
Sounds to me like you were just being
very thoughtful, and I bet he appreciates you as much as you seem to appreciate him. What a wonderful thing!
She sounds like quite a gal . . .
especially the part about being a practicing Buddhist. She probably marched to the beat of a different drummer. The doctors might have saved her but who knows what quality of life she might have. My mom, dad, aunts all were healthy until their 80s. They end up in a nursing home. My aunt is 90, she's really been dying for a year, they keep on prolonging it. I think death at some point may be a blessing. You're going through a mourning process. Your tears are for you, you'll miss her, she'll be in a better place. You are going to have to brace up and take comfort in your faith.
Actually should be It sounds.....nm
nm
sounds like my SIL
We had a chow years ago. We raised him from a pup and he was very protective of all of us but especially the kids. ANY kids for that matter.
The kids in the yard, someone comes up the driveway, he was there. Would not let anyone get between him and those kids. Didn't matter if they were our kids or their friends. He never bit anyone but he wasn't going to let anyone take "his" kids either.
Never did that to the parents of the kids either, just total strangers that he didn't know. For Chow's, he had an exceptional personality and never saw him so much as growl at anyone. He would bark but would back away as he was barking.
My SIL's chow is a rescue so who knows how he was raised.
She just sounds like someone who has --sm
to pick and pick until she starts an arguement. Try to ignore her. If you don't give her what she wants, she will go away. just my opinion.
sounds like it to me . . .
I've seen two physicians recently, one who specializes in anxiety, and they think the crude policy under my current company of having to "make up" any time I take off is burning me out, promotes physical and mental self-neglect and is fueling an anxiety disorder. "That's sick," is actually what one said, and put me on a mild anxiolytic temporarily and told me to find a way out. The company says "everyone else does it" like I'm some kind of freak or bad MT, but in talking to other MTs there I'm finding the majority saying no they're not or they are frying themselves out doing it and have also complained about it. Having to always "make up" a day off is not a day off and does not promote rest. I'm having to learn to take the doctors' advice I'm typing for, letting go and taking care of myself. :-) The consequences of not doing so are much more dire. It kills me they have an EAP program. Seems to me investing in just letting people have a life would be more efficient. Recently bought out, the new company acted like it was a plus to keep this crappy policy. Yeah, right.
I'm really, really close to singing "Take this job and shove it . . . " Shame, because it's an otherwise decent company, um, unless you want a life.
Watching all my family enjoy this weekend as a 3-day weekend while I type. Sometimes I wake up and cry before starting work because I feel like I can't get a break from this job without consequences.
WORDS OF WISDOM: When applying for an MT job, ASK CAREFULLY about the EXACT way "time off" is calculated and quiz their MTs, not the administrative people who have never done MT. What looks good on paper . . .
Sounds like they don’t have a pot to
pi..s… in. These sound like grown folks and I do not consider myself a bank, therefore do not loan money out even to my grown KIDS. Only could a child move in with me if they were sick and unable to take care of their own self. Sounds like they have no responsibility about financial business. Sorry they would just have to do things on their own. Loaning money (or giving it away, whatever the case is) only makes relationships strained. I do not sign as collateral for anyone, do not take stray folks in, do not run a banking business.
sounds
That sounds very pretty. You can also do just a border around the top of the wall with the sponge paint effect. That way it keeps it from being too much green!
Sounds to me like
although getting paid, maybe not the right 1 to be trying to watch the kids. I am a grandmother myself. This sounds like she is irritated by their actions and maybe they did kick her more than you OR maybe with her older legs it just hurts her more. My legs now are a lot different from when I had children as far as the aches and pains, even bruises and sometimes cuts just show up without your knowing where they exactly came from. Yes, she is offended they said something about her legs (even though on the 7 year old I would know probably too young to really understand what the veins were) but she is getting back at them now and trying to get her point across - even if they arent understanding she is trying to make them understand. I don’t see this as a really workable situation. It has been 2 weeks and already everyone at everyone else. Not a good situation. Pretty soon grandmom and kids just doing tit for TAT at each other. Maybe a good sit down and talk it over or else grandmom goes back home and you get someone who is a little younger and able to corral the kids better?
Sounds like you are doing everything right to me - sm
I lived at home for years as it was too expensive to get your own place where my parents were unless you had a really, really good income, which I did not have unfortunately. I did not have a firm curfew once I went to college but it was understood they prefered I be home by 1 a.m. which I ususally abided by, if I knew I was going to be out later I told them, or if I was not coming home at all, I told them. They always knew who I was out with too, and the general plan for the evening. I never really resented it, yeah it was a drag sometimes but at least they cared enough to ask and try and keep me out of trouble (they don't know half of the stupid stuff I did do and never got in trouble for; i.e. going out with stranger met in a parking lot, that sort of stuff, nothing criminal). One thing that will stop her from staying out really late is make her get a summer job, that is one thing that kept me from staying out all hours, sleep was necessary to get up at 6:45 and be at work at 8:00 (til 5pm). My parents paid my tuition but I paid for all the supplies, books, etc., and I also worked 2 jobs at school. Sounds like she needs something to keep her busy and grow up some. If she does not shape up, pull the car privileges unless it is to go to work, and have her pay her own car insurance and cell phone, that may wise her up to life.
Sounds like when I got...sm
a Christmas card from a friend AFTER Christmas. I still don't know what was up with that.
BTW~ My friends threw me a surprise birthday brunch today for my 40th birthday and I have already started writing my thank you notes!
Sounds like her first kid and she has never
been around others to me.
Wow - that sounds so much like him (sm)
He left me alone after my c-section, he left me alone when I got devastating medical news, etc. Once I had a car accident a mile away and he would not come and help me after I called him all shaken up. When I mention these things he just accuses me of bringing up the past. But they are real examples of how I have been treated for years.
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