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Wean yourself from her, little by little, for your own peace of mind. She'll either get the mess

Posted By: anon on 2007-06-22
In Reply to: It seems obvious but I feel bad (sm) - Portia

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with peace of mind 24/7 nm
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Big decision, I need peace of mind (nm)
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If you think it will bring you peace of mind and you're
s
You're right there, I think real peace of mind is being able to go to bed and......sm
not only have a warm bed and a home, with food in your tummy, but also knowing that you can at least pay for heat, electricity, and food, your essentials. Any more than that is nice, but how much more?? Once you get into that "gotta have" endless cycle, it is just not worth it, it is all just "stuff" that can be gone in half a heartbeat! God bless all. I am really praying every day for those who are looking for work, my husband and I have been there, it is a heartsick and frightening situation. Don't give up, anybody!!!{{}}
You're right there, I think real peace of mind is being able to go to bed and......sm
not only have a warm bed and a home, with food in your tummy, but also knowing that you can at least pay for heat, electricity, and food, your essentials. Any more than that is nice, but how much more?? Once you get into that "gotta have" endless cycle, it is just not worth it, it is all just "stuff" that can be gone in half a heartbeat! God bless all. I am really praying every day for those who are looking for work, my husband and I have been there, it is a heartsick and frightening situation. Don't give up, anybody!!!{{}}
Google post tubal peace of mind syndrome
Nah, just kidding but I had a tubal at age 29 after my second child, knew definitely did not want another, had always said no children at all after 30 and that is what I did. Never had the first problem with it. I would not try to talk a guy into a vasectomy if he had any drawback to it because lots think it somehow takes menhood away and men can be such big babies to start with sometimes.
Thanks I'll try anything to keep the peace - NM
NM
Be careful if you decide to wean
and hand feed with formula and syringe.  Don't know about your type of birds, but I have a parrot that I hand fed with a syringe and the breeders instructed me and watched me do it myself to be sure I was doing it correctly before they let me take him home.  Apparently you can kill them if it goes down the wrong way, but it was really easy feeding him.  Maybe there's somebody in your area who is a bird expert you could talk to?
I am so sorry, what a mess. - sm
I agree, as I am sure you do, that your son is the #1 priority here.  You need to stick to your guns and let him know that you will have him arrested as a runaway the next time he goes out of the house without your permission.  Unfortunately, he really needs to be scared right now of what the consequences will be if he breaks rules.  I would also suggest weekly drug tests for a while, just to let him know you are on top of it.  I would also let your BIL know that if he ever touches your kid again he will be arrested for assult and that if you hear or see of him abusing his kids again you will call CPS on him... I know this sounds harsh, but he should not be allowed to get away with bullying anyone like he obviously is used to doing.  As far as your sister is concerned, I agree with the other poster who said she may be scared of her husband. Wow this is really an ugly situation, and I am so sorry you are dealing with it.  If you will accept, I would love to pray for the situation and all involved...
wow, what a mess
You and your husband need to sit down and work out a plan and present a united front. At the age of 19, he is legally an adult. This is your home and you have the right to be treated respectfully. It seems you both need to confront him with how you perceive his behavior and present some alternatives, whatever you decide is best. If he does not have a car in his name, take away the keys, even if you have to sleep with them in your pillowcase at night. You can't let this behaviour affect your younger child. You can withdraw the invitation that he stay at your home when not at school if he cannot treat you nicely. You don't have to DO these things, but present some alternatives if he doesn't change his ways and then follow through if he continues. They say people treat you badly only if you allow it. It sounds like it's time to stand up and be firm about how you are treated. Best of luck in a tough situation. I hope you get your husband's support as that will be critical. Don't let this man ruin your marriage.
Hot mess is what I think. nm
n
no its a big mess that I don't sm

even want to post on this board.  My son chose this.  He started acting up when he was 18 years old and will be 35 in June.  He just decided he wanted nothing to do with his family.  We have been around and around with this junk.  Last time he called was 2 years ago.  He calls and starts a ruckus and then you don't hear from him for 3-4 years.  I haven't laid eyes on him in 9 years.  He has to figure out his own problems. 


I have another son who is 32 and is a firefighter here where we live.  He is a joy.  He is married and I agree with you about a sons a son til he takes a wife.  Everyone I know who has sons and DIL go through this.  I love my daughter-in-law dearly and have never had a cross word with her but its not like my son and I don't get treated as well either.  I just suck it up and go on.  No reason to cause a ruckus.


O well, enough for today


Peace to you too : )
Can you find one occurrence in the New Testament books of worship in the ceremonial/specific sense (going to a specific place to worship) being required of bondservants of Christ? The answer is no. Or are the occurrences of worship speaking of obedience in every area of life? The answer is yes. Do any of the Greek words used for worship occur in any sense requiring bondservants of Christ to go to Jerusalem, or to any specific place to worship God? No, they do not. Would we expect centralized ceremonial worship to be required today in light of the fact that Jews were doing this because the spirit of God was not yet given them (John 7:39)? In light of the fact that in the Old Testament, God only dwelt in temples made with hands because the Spirit was not yet inside of the people, but today, God does not dwell in temples made with hands, because the Spirit of God dwells within our bodies? If you attend church, have you been trained to search the Scriptures to find the answers to such questions as these (Acts 17:11), or do you need to ask your pastor?
Aww....be at peace, CJ. :(
s
War and Peace.

 Well, I thought my response was hilarious!   I really am laughing all by myself here at that one.


Nah, actually my childhood library consisted of the timeless collection known as Little Golden Books...my favorite being Nurse Nancy.  ....still love to play naughty nurse too! 


 


 


I already said my peace up top
but you really shouldn't talk bad about someone you don't know. Everyone has their limits.
wow, what a mess to go through for so long!
The reason for having to file CS orders against both is that my GD gets a small welfare check each month, Medicaid coverage and WIC (for now and free school lunches later). All CS attempts/costs are handled by the state agency, not a private attorney. They now have an interstate agreement that is supposed to be more efficient, but hey, that is their ball of wax. Any money they collect goes to the state first to repay the aid my GD gets, along with all the associated collection fees...so I really am not holding my breath (might pass out! lol) on EVER seeing any money. Neither of them can ever have custody of the child again due to the laws in my state, so what I have is the next best thing to adoption, plus GD gets the aid. So, I'll let the state do their thing - they are rated very high on the list of collecting CS as compared to other states - and now that I'm done with court appearances, I will just raise my little one and let those that need to worry do it for me :)

Thanks for your support and advice!
listening to this mess-
I think doctors today are just different. I remember doctors that would actually stop and rewind to the spot that needed to be corrected instead of dictating it after the fact. I also recall the time when doctors did not say "umm, or keep you hanging waiting for the next word. I overheard two doctors discussing his mother's surgery and recovery. The attendings that are "supposed" to be training these up and coming doctors should include dictation techniques.

I did not say this was my sister-in-law, did I? What a MESS!!!
NM
I was on a rant and about a mess....
and yelled 'pick up your toys and put them away, dammit!"

She - then 4 - started to do so, but turned back and looked me right in the eye and said,

"don't call me dammit!"

had to laugh.
She does not need TMZ , she makes her own mess.
I saw these pictures actually on celebs on Craig's List yesterday, not TMZ.
Re: Beneficiaries in a will (what a mess)...

Hi to all you smart legal types,


My dear sweet grandfather passed away on February 6, 2009, at the age of 87.


My brother and I have been named in the will in place of my father who has alcohol dementia and is in a nursing home receiving state assistance. My aunts and uncles (my father's sisters and brothers) are also in the will. My grandfather's intent was to keep the estate in the family, so,therefore the will was changed to me and my brother. On the day of the funeral my aunt (who is the executor) informs me that there may be some CDs and/or life insurance policies that were not changed to me and my brother and are still in my father's name. My grandfather's intent when changing the will of course was to keep the estate in the family and not have it to go to the State of Wisconsin since my father is receiving Medicare and Medicaid. This does not make sense to me why everything was not originally changed!


I am unsure how this all goes, but these things I have learned from a friend who went through a similar situation and want someone to clarify me if I am wrong.


Here goes: First off, why would the original lawyer (they have since hired someone else to handle the estate since my father passed now) not have made sure everything was changed and had my father's name taken off everything? Shouldn't this have been part of his job since the original intent was to keep it in the family? And if this is part of his job, someone suggested I contact his malpractice company as this may be our recourse to this dilemna since he didn't do his job properly.


Secondly, since my aunt is the executor, I was also told that what an executor does is acts in the behalf of the deceased (my grandfather) and she has the authority to have this changed even now. She is telling my brother who is the power of attorney for my father that he needs to hire a lawyer and have this changed. I am also told from my friend that if he does have to hire a lawyer he can sue the estate to recoup the costs of doing so, which I am sure will go over like a lead balloon! Is my aunt not aware of what her role is or am I wrong? My brother of course has a passive/aggressive personality and I am the go-getter, and he basically said he doesn't care and wants to let it go because he does not want to deal with it. I feel if my aunt is so concerned about it and keeps bugging him about it and has the authority, then she needs to do it. But, I also told him that grandpa's intent was to keep it in the family and if something can be done to change it then we should, but of course it may not be worth it monetary wise either as the lawyers will get a good chunk of change. And on that note, am I allowed to ask the lawyer exactly the dollar amounts we are talking such as life insurance, CDs, or the estate itself since I am listed on the will? My aunt told my brother, but not me and he says he doesn't remember.


I am not very trusting of my family and I can see greed written all over this! If this is not being handled properly by the family, especially my aunt, I am trying to figure out what is in it for her. I have a call into the new lawyer, which by the way, I was not told that we had switched laywers by my aunt. I only found out through my brother who I spoke with the other day. Since we are all listed in the will, we should all be kept informed. I don't believe the family really wanted me and my brother in the will, but agreed to make the best a of bad situation as best as they could, versus the State getting the money or the only grandchildren listed in the will!


Sorry so long and windy, but have so much on my mind right now regarding this situation and until I get some real answers this will bother me all day. Please if anyone out there understands anything about how wills and/or estates work and has any insight, please respond.


Thank you!


You wanna mess your cat up for good?
Get a chicken...nay, a ROOSTER.  My old cat thought he saw an all-you-can-eat buffet when he first met "Steve," my Rhode Island Red.  He was stalking Steve from behind a bush (my chickens are free rangin'), started that low belly-creep towards his prey, and Steve saw him coming from the eyes that are in the back of his head.  That bird actually turned on my old cat and chased HIM away.  He's been reformed ever since and hardly goes outside anymore, even though Steve and his girls are long gone.  He's totally shell shocked, even though Steve never got near him.  Even the cute little chickadees in the window feeder make his hair stand on end now.
Re: SICKO, the healthcare mess, etc.

Interesting video on YouTube - this guy says it simply & eloquently.  He wants people to send him videos on the subject - anyone out there in MT with a PC-cam could certainly get the word out on the offshoring-of-medical-records to a HUGE audience in this way.  Here's a link to the video:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8NDs4YuLXE


He doesnt want the kids cause they would mess up his
asdf
We ALL mess with mother nature

Who among us has not colored their hair, seen a plastic surgeon because we weren't satisfied with our bodies, took a pill to alter our mood or help a physical condition that made us uncomfortable?  Who has not dieted, worn colored contact lenses, got a perm, had liposuction?  Who didn't get their ears pierced, or love someone who has a body piercing or a tattoo?  Even if you never did any of these things, did it make you "sick" whenever someone else did?


Why is it MY business what someone else does with their body?  Oh, that's right, it isn't.  If I don't like your decision to become a blonde, should it make me "sick"?  Should I sneer at you and throw rocks because I personally don't like it that you got breast implants?  Well, that's what people do to people that change their sex.  What gives them the right?


I am still cleaning up my mess from about 2 months -sm
ago. We have paid off all but $3K on my husbands cards, have them paid off in full by March, don't want to get stretched to thin over Christmas, car insurance on 2 cars and propane for heat. I am on hardship plans with 2 of my credit cards, one is no interest for a year, the other is 10% for a year. Cut the payment in half on one, the other only by about a 1/3). Have 2 of my others current again--small balances on those, and working on getting the last one current--need another $600 on that one to get caught up after not paying for about 3 months. But in 2009 plan to use a debt settlement company and for at least the 2 that are on the hard ship plan (don't think it will work on anything you have current) and that should save me I hope at least $15K before interest, which is about 40% of the total due on those two. But waiting until 2009 because of the tax liability, will have a year to save up the taxes owed on any settled accounts, have $1400 set aside so far, figured on saving at least $3K to be safe. --but yes you can do a lot yourself in terms of negotiating a lower payment and interest as long as you show good faith. I am making my payments on time (they directly debit it from checking). Learned a lot here asking questions. Sorry to hear you got ripped for the $400 but as someone hear pointed out, you ask to be put on the hardship plan and they transfer you over to another department who handles repayment plans, etc.
She was irrelevant 10 years ago..what a hot mess!
//
Mine is the same way, and yes I lie to keep the peace - sm
all the time. I have a whopper I am hiding from him right now that if/when he finds out it will either result in physical violence for which I will call 911 assuming I am able to, or divorce or both. Luckily my deceit does not weigh heavily on me or I might go crazy; I can hold a secret w/o any guilt, most people cannot and have to tell someone, I never have and never will. He freaks out as well over the d*u*m*best things and is calm over things I think are quite serious. I do wonder if he may be borderline bipolar, he is depressed and knows it but refuses to do anything about it. So our marriage has been slowly dying, though lately he has been trying for us (just the 2 of us) to do more together which is odd and surprising, and no he is not cheating though he had plenty of opps with travel and out of the house a lot; he is just to disease fearing and lazy too pursue an affair, plus he knows if I ever caught wind of one his life as he knows it would be over. I say it is okay to deceive to keep the peace, just don't trip yourself up and don't do it in front of the kids.
Rest in Peace,
Oh NO! I didn't know. I am devastated!
Sooo true! But I didn't mess her up.
No really, she is a rescue.

:oD


Does divorce always mess up boys' lives?? (sm)
So worried about my 10 year old son, whether I go or whether I stay.  Anyone with experience?
Heck no! 40 is a great age- you know enough not to mess around but you don't have Alzheimer's

I pray His love and peace be with you. nm

His arms are big....rest there.


Your inner peace is disrupted.....hence, the nightmares. nm
x
Rest in peace, Fred!
We just put our 22-year-old cat, Fred, to sleep this evening. He had wasted away from 17 pounds to 5 pounds and was too weak to stand or eat. He was a loving companion for the past 22 years and will be missed dearly.

Rest in peace, Fred. Benny, Gus, and Lily will be waiting in heaven to greet you with open arms!
ADDENDUM. Just trying to get some straight answers and not sure what to make of this whole mess. nm
nm
May you have peace knowing your love will never end. My sympathies

Beyond the Rainbow
As much as I loved the life we had and all the times we played,
I was so very tired and knew my time on earth would fade.
I saw a wonderous image then of a place that's trouble-free
Where all of us can meet again to spend eternity.


I saw the most beautiful Rainbow, and on the other side
Were meadows rich and beautiful--lush and green and wide!
And running through the meadows as far as the eye could see
Were animals of every sort as healthy as could be!
My own tired, failing body was fresh and healed and new
And I wanted to go run with them, but I had something left to do.


I needed to reach out to you, to tell you I'm alright
That this place is truly wondrful, then a bright Glow pierced the night.
'Twas the Glow of many Candles shining bright and strong and bold
And I knew then that it held your love in its brilliant shades of gold.


For although we may not be together in the way we used to be,
We are still connected by a cord no eye can see.
So whenever you need to find me, we're never far apart
If you look beyond the Rainbow and listen with your heart.

C.G. 1995


...wait, that might be Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth (?) NM
.
Hopefully this child can finally rest in peace....
You know it has to be the Anthony girl.
I feel your pain... sometimes I consider shaving my head!!! I just keep it short so as not to mess
nm
Justice of the peace for us (we didn't even tell kids till it was over) sm
Just the way we wanted it - no muss, no fuss -
Rest in Peace, Pavarotti. Your gift will be missed. nm
s
We must walk in love and peace every single day of our lives. sm
We never, ever know when we will be tempted to be rude or get angry. If you don't purpose to love others and count others "better than yourself," then you will fall into this kind of behavior. I never want to live like that. I desperately want people to remember for good deeds and love. I know a few people personally in my life right now who wouldn't be missed a second if something were to happen to them. Sad, sad, sad.
thanks! :) I'll see if he'll ask some female friends SM

Thank you everyone!  It has been great reading all of your responses!  Goodnight!!  "See" you all tomorrow!


Hugs,


Chickadee


bing crosby/david bowie - peace on earth Little drummer
xx
If you don't mind me asking, did you take the
mega-B vitamin pill every day or just when you felt the symptoms?  My former OB/GYN basically dismissed me as "it is part of life", but she did suggest vitamin B, but I don't remember if it was every day or not....  Thanks for listening....  By the way, I think my Mom had PMS too but never sought attention.  I find out later on down the line not too long ago that she also suffered from severe anxiety.  She had high blood pressure as well, which I do not have.  But I think of all the times as a child how she would be so moody, ya' know....  LOL....  makes more sense now.
would you mind
what you think I could do to make it better for her... I'm not referring to the party.... just in general. It weighs on me. Thank you.

Sorry you had to deal with that growing up. That had to be incredibly hard.
I can do about anything I put my mind to...

The waterfall idea I had was obviously to make my own, but creating out of pottery, or a like substance and having it fired.  However, I've no experience and tho I am keenly interested, I am afraid it would be quite time consuming.  I would like to propose before Christmas.


I was always of the mind that
Happy Holidays encompassed everything from Thanksgiving through January. It was just a more efficient way of noting good tidings. It is certainly easier than saying, "Happy Thanksgiving and merry/joyous religious and/or cultural holiday and/observance of your choice and Happy New Year.
Well first keep in mind that everything changes....(sm)
Nothing stays the same. I remember at one point in my life feeling like I was at the lowest point possible... like no one in the world cared. I remember sitting in my room thinking it would be better if I just died. Then my sister called and told me that she was thinking about killing herself. I talked to her for an hour about all the people who would be hurt and devastated if she did. All the things she had to live for and how you never know what the future holds. By the time I finished talking to her I felt so much better. About six months later, my life was going great and I was so much happier, I thought back to the moment when I had sat in my room wishing to die and I realized that we have to always understand that a moment is just that...a fleeting moment. Nothing stays the same. You never ever know how things are going to go. You do have people who love you and count on you...your daughter and your granddaughter...it was a good decision you made not to exchange gifts with your daughter when you are in debt. Christmas is not about getting gifts anyway...it is about giving and loving others...and you did just that by sacrificing your own gifts to be sure your granddaughter had a good Christmas!! You should feel really good about that. Also, you said you have avoided people...reach out and reconnect with your old friends..you say you didn't even get a card...did they get one from you? Did you call them? Go to a debt counselling service and get help with your credit card issue. Keep looking for better jobs and hang onto your less than great ones in the meantime. Just from your post I can see you have much to be thankful for. You are obviously intelligent from the way you type, you have family members, you have 2 jobs (many people have none), you have friends whose opinion you valued at one time enough to avoid them over being ashamed. Everyone has something at some point in their life that they are not happy about or proud of...everyone comes into hard times at some point in their life. Reach out!!! Take some steps to improve your life. It is all so within your reach!