What do I say?

My 17 year old daughter's two best friends both have fathers in the ICU currently.  One of them had a heart attack, the other was diagnosed with cancer (don't know what kind) and she was told yesterday it's terminal.  My daughter is totally shaken up about this, of course.  Even though my daughter doesn't know either of the fathers particularly well, she is badly shaken up, is on the verge of tears most of the time, distant, and very quiet.

Now here's the bad part.  Every time I've opened my mouth, I say something inappropriate.  It's like I'm either giving platitudes, like "well lots of people outlive their prognosis" or I'll say something flip.  I'm 56 and have never been around death, never had to deal with a loved ones death, and I guess this may be some kind of defense mechanism or something.  But I'm frustrated with myself.  I should be able to help her and reassure her (another acquaintence's mother died last Tuesday) that nothing's going to happen to her father or me.  My inclination is to keep my mouth shut rather than say something stupid again, but that might give her the idea I don't care. 

I wish I could do something to help!

• What do I say? - NYMT
  • You can't fix it - deenibeeni
    • Very good advice - - NYMT
  • I do stuff like that - foot in mouth
  • My father died when I was 21. - Lllls
    • Me too-- - Lucy
    • Thank you - your post moved me to tears - sm - NYMT
      • I'm sorry that I dug up old pain for you. - Lllls
    • Very Well Said...sm - me too

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