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You'll be okay

Posted By: Happy MT Robin on 2009-05-09
In Reply to: I just found out that social services will be paying me a visit and I am - AnonMT

Deep breath.  In.  Out.  Okay.  You'll be okay.  Be as calm as you can to the investigator.  Explain it like you did here and they'll definitely see the truth.  Cleaning the house sucks, I know, but you'll get that done, too.  If the crap your husband has left around is too much to fit in the trash dumpster, see if you can sneak it into a store's dumpster at night.  Or an office building who doesn't lock theirs.  I used to take stuff to the dumpster at the office where I worked and even after I left, I took stuff there a couple of times.


Frankly, everything that was his would be in the trash.  If it hasn't been touched in the last 6 months, it has to go.  Get the kids involved, too - especially if they're on board with you and hubby splitting up, which if I remember correctly, they are. 


Good luck.  You'll be okay and you'll come through this onto the other side.


Keep us posted as to how things go, okay?




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thanks! :) I'll see if he'll ask some female friends SM

Thank you everyone!  It has been great reading all of your responses!  Goodnight!!  "See" you all tomorrow!


Hugs,


Chickadee


I'll buy them ... sm
Of course I am teasing you. I love Longaberger baskets, but I can understand them not being everyone's cup of tea. I am sort of in the same situation with my father-in-law. He gives me the most God-awful stuff. He is retired, has no money, and feels the need to buy me something. This year he gave me an outfit that a 17-year-old girl would have loved. I am 42. I just smile and say thank you. Really, I keep telling my husband I would rather him just keep his money, but I can't hurt his feelings. I would just take the baskets, smile, say thank you, and put them in my attic as an heirloom for my grandchildren or something. They are beautiful and surely someday one of your children or their spouses might like to have them. Just a thought.
i'll take abc any day over any of them....

Thanks! - I'll try anything (sm)
That might possibly help me to avoid surgery, except for the book slamming thing! T
you'll see...sm
Her "rockstar wannabe" look...hilarious! She's just too...eeww...for me anyway.  Something about her creeps me out.
I'll have to try it.
My Avon rep from work quit because she claimed that they would only send her half the order and her customers were getting upset.  My mom does Avon through a friend and she has bought me necklesses from Avon when I was little as well.  That friend has been doing Avon for 40 years.  She is in her mid 80s now and wants to give it up but her son won't let her because that is the only thing that will get her out of bed anymore, so he helps her with it.  It is hard to find reps around here because do it for a few weeks then quit. 
Thanks, I'll try it! /nm
`
LOL, no they'll be
okay with it. It's only my parents coming over. My hubby dooesn't really like her dressing anyway so he won't care! And the kids, they could care less! I have a small family on my side. Hubby's is the big one and we're not going over there until my parents leave here!
I believe I'll try that.

Thanks - i'll try that
Will let you know how it works.
I'll take that one better

I moved here with 9 cats, and I've got 18 now. Long story, but two of the ladies were outdoor cats (one was a feral) and they were "in the mood for love."

Now there's Lil Rust, Baby Face, Tuxedo, BC (stands for black cat), Dusty (resumbles a cotton puff with legs and a face), Gypsy, Willow, and Gizmo. Scooter found a home.

Anyone get the impression that I love cats?


I'll second that!
No malls or shopping for me!!
I'll second that!
I have only done it once though because I feel incredibly guilty doing it...well make that twice...I did it tonight too. :)
What you see is what you'll get.

What you see is what you get. That is what they told me in ground training for my private pilot; of course, they were referring to the weather, but it holds true for a lot of other things and situations.


One thing about long-relationships that I have learned is that the only person you can "change" is yourself. So, if your significant other has any kind of habit or personality quirk that "bothers" you before entering into marriage, that same issue will be there after you've married no matter what the other person "promises" to do or don't do.


My boss once called me into his office (I thought I was in trouble again!) and asked my opinion about his marrying his girlfriend. He said he wanted to marry her, "take care of her," but that he could not "stand" the fact that she smoked. He also said that she promised to quit smoking after they got married. I told him basically the same thing, what you see is what you get. I also told him that to expect her to change, even with the promise of doing so, was unrealistic and that he would have to accept her as she is...smoking and all, even after the marriage. No matter what quirks the other person has before the marriage, they'll still have the same quirks after the marriage. She did try to give up the smoking; however, she eventually failed and resumed the smoking. Apparently, it was more than he could stand, and they ultimately divorced. Of note, he was a control-type freak whose idea of socialization was snuggling up to the TV set and eating pizza, and she was a free-spirited social being who liked to be around a lot of people. He did do some socializing, going out dancing, going out to eat, etc. to placate her, which was really totally against his nature. He knew beforehand what the issues were but chose to go ahead with the marriage, thinking that he could get her to change. She did'nt. What he saw before the marriage was what he got after the marriage.


The issue then becomes not what the other person will do to compromise but what you will accept, knowing full well what the other person's habits and quirks are and how far you are willing to go to accept that fact and be comfortable with those issues. If you are uncomfortable now and feel this is a significant issue for you, this will be the same after the marriage. Don't expect him to change. The only person you can change is yourself.


You can either accept him as he is and you, yourself, do the compromising, or you can move on to find yourself a more compatible life partner. If you choose to continue the relationship, however, do not feel guilty about "dragging" him along to any social events or worry about his socializing with the others. If he truly did not want to go, he wouldn't have gone in the first place. Maybe that would be his way of compromising for your issues.


Walking away from somebody you really think you love is tough. I've done it, and it does hurt for a while, but it is a whole lot less hurtful than divorcing. As I look back upon that decision, I know that it was the right thing to do. There will always be a "soft spot" in my heart for him, but I know that I could never really stand "to stomach" some of his quirks on a regular, life-long basis.


You need to do a lot of soul-searching about this. I wish you peace and happiness no matter what your decision is.


Margo


 


I know I'll let her go -
There's a saying that when an emotional decision has to be made, the right thing is usually the hardest thing. She needs to be able to fly. I'd never try to manipulate her into staying. Not my style. And yeah, I know I'll survive. But I don't have to like it!
I'll look into that, thanks. nm
X
AI - Who'll Go
I think it'll be Matt. To me it's getting really hard. Everyone left is very talented in my opinion. It's just going to get harder in the next week or so getting down to the wire.
Either go with me or I'll go by myself
Well, I tried to get old I don’t want to leave the home to go. You see, hubby is a truck driver and he said before we married we would travel. He does and now he seems to want to "do things around the house" for his vacation. I have 2 vacations planned this year, both with 2 different groups for me but I thought perhaps he and I could take a few days and go to Orlando, Sea World and just get out of town for a few days. He had his chance so now probably around the end of June I plan on a) either driving down to Florida or b) flying down to Micky Mouse town, renting a vehicle and taking my own self to Sea World. Anyone else out there have such a hard time of getting hubby to join in on their outings?
I'll see her tomorrow and ask.
I'll post then and let you know.
I know I'll get slammed for this sm
I have broad shoulders!    What kind of wimp would hire a sitter to watch their kids and clean their house while they type at home?  I had a phone line installer tell me his wife does coding at home and takes the kid to daycare.  He couldn't believe I worked at home plus took care of kids.  My son is 13 and in the National Juniors Honor Society- straight A's.  My daughter is in 1st grade and reads on a 4th grade level.  I read to them at night.  I played with them during the day.  What a bunch of lazy people that can't work at home and take care of some kids for goodness sakes.  You have to take breaks.  If you are working for a company that requires you to sit and type for 8 hours straight with no breaks/lunch, you are the fool, not them!  I wouldn't tolerate that for a minute!!!!!!!  Is that why everyone is so unhappy here?  I talk to the neighbors!  I answer my phone!  I do my laundry/load dishwaser, clean litter box, dust furniture.  I go to the grocery store!  I take my kids places!  And I still make 50 K a year!  SuperMOM!!!!!!!  And someone says they wait until their teenagers aren't home!  Paleeze!  Teenagers????
Hopefully in a few months we'll both...sm
be bragging about our new babies. I haven't had morning sickness yet - didn't have it last time either, so we'll see if that develops. I'm spending my lunch hour from work napping each day and sleeping after work for a while. Hopefully I'll wake up before the baby is born in September. :o)
I'll tell you exactly what will happen.
If you don't buy it, everything will break. If you buy it, everything will break right after it runs out. lol. I bought a blazer a couple years ago, bought an extended warrantly and literally a month after it ran out my fuel pump burned up, some motor for my blinker burned out, had to get a new alternator, new battery, new tires (due to neighborhood felon in the making), driver side viser broke...I think there was more but I can't remember at the moment.

Anyhoo, good luck! :-)
you'll love it!
Let me know how much fun you had!   
I guess you'll never know!

You'll qualify for the....sm
FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act) which is designed to allow people up to 12 months off for an approved absence. The criteria is listed on the US Department of Labor's website at: http://www.dol.gov/esa/whd/fmla/ During this time your employer must keep your position open and have the health care benefits available. You would be required to pay the premiums. No company is required to pay for leave of absences and very few actually do in the US.
I'll try to answer as best I can sm

I'm no expert only having this done on Tuesday, but I am not sorry one bit. I put mine off for 2 years before I got the guts to do it. I had only 1 molar left and couldn't eat much of anything. I think I will feel a whole lot healthier when I can go back to raw vegetables for snacks like I used to eat many moons ago.


I had 3 teeth pulled about 6 weeks ago simply because I was having extreme night pain and had no other choice, one pulled one week and the other two the following week. That solved that problem. The rest (all 15 with 12 shots of novacaine) were done all at once. That's how I wanted it done. I can't stand getting teeth pulled. Had a bad experience with an oral surgeon in my teens that left me with such a fear of dentists that I didn't go to another dentist for 5 years. My dentist now was fresh out of school and opened up his practice here in town with all of his new ideas and we have been with him for 25 years. Don't let anyone kid you that new grads are worthless. He was great. He calmed me down when I was shaking like a leaf with my teeth chattering in fear.


Lastly, I do like how they look. I like how my face looks with them, too. I've never been told I had nice teeth but I had 4 compliments on them just since Tuesday. I think once I get used to eating with them and keeping them in place, things will be much better. I do have to get used to NOT having them in, and that's what I hate. I guess I have to keep them out for about 8 hours a day to heal this sore spot. I don't like how I look or speak without them. My face feels caved in and my lips kind of flop around and I talk funny without them. I guess since I won't be going anywhere without them that it shouldn't be a big deal, but I'm real self conscious about that. I do have to get that sore spot healed, so I better listen to the boss.


The only thing I hate is the cost, around 4500.00. Half that was just the extractions. I could have gone to the dental school, but they are 2 hours away and I don't have the time nor the patience to drive that far for dental work. You can get it done real reasonable going that route from what I understand. 


Well, that'll really teach her...
A lesson won't it now?  I mean being confined to a mansion with servants, cooks, etc., and nothing to do all day but swim, tan, whatever else she does...wow, talk about injustice...amazing
I'll play
Marriage - Great.
Lack of kids - I regret not having the energy, interest, selflessness, or hope and faith to have kids, but I have never felt the need to have kids. I think you are supposed to see your mom enjoying motherhood, and it appeared to me to be very unsatisfying for my mom. I can still remember the switch from playing with baby dolls to playing with stuffed animals instead.
or maybe I'll just second it (haha) (nm)
x
i think i'll try the calorieking way
i looked at kimkins, but someone elses menu doesn't suit me/our lifestyle. With calorieking, you eat what you usually do and their site tells you when you have too much protein, not enough this or that, you put in what you eat and the software does the counting...and it promotes exercise too (and logic tells me that is a necessary component to being healthy)...both are probably working plans, i just think i like CK's plan better.
I'll check it out
Thanks Nana
uh....yeah....that'll do it
nm
I'll give it a try

1. How did you feel about your parent(s) being alcoholic? Were you embarrassed?


2.  Did you ever try alcohol yourself when you were a kid?


3.  (If there were arguments or other disturbances) What did you do when your parents argued? Were you scared?


4.  Did you ever have any friends over to your house or were you afraid your parent(s) would embarrass you?


5. Do you drink at all now? If so, are you afraid of becoming an alcoholic?


These are all probably things you have already thought of. I really applaud your willingness to put yourself out there and open yourself up to help these young people. That is a wonderful thing to do!


And you'll relive it when you get in
the shower and get water on your hair. Urp.
I'll second that! My friend
was ignored, brushed off, and basically treated like she was some hysterical depressed hypochondriac when it turns out she has had a heart condition that could have killed her at any time. Her doctor changed his tune for a brief time but is back to treating her the same way. He just let the insurance company take her CPAP machine away and is letting her go untreated for severe sleep apnea even with this heart condition. I am just appalled. I am going with her to her next appointment because if he won't listen to her I KNOW he will listen to me. ;)

Personally I wish she would just dump the guy but she is too intimidated.
LOL!!! I'll have to remember that one.
I am terrible at gift giving . . . probably will be able to post the perfect gift idea for you after its all said and done though. I do wish I was better at that.

Also, glad to see you seem to be feeling better. I have not had time to do much here except lurk occasionally, and should not have been spending the time doing that either. Gonna be another heck of a week this week too. I had been wondering about you though

Happy Anniversary!
Thanks. I'll look for their website. (nm)
.
I'll let you know. I was going today, but (sm)
something came up with our house, and I had to go to WM instead cause it's closer and I didn't have time to go, cause Target is farther - well worth the drive though for that price.  I'll let you know. I hope they have some.  I was telling DH about the hot tub scene, and now he won't watch it.  Sissy.  LOL.  He doesn't watch it regularly anyway, but he will watch it with me if has nothing else to watch. 
I'll make it around 5. :)
xx
I'll tell ya what I was told.
If you have head lice you can either use A) the head lice treatment shampoo or B) Lots and lots of conditioner. The conditioner does what the shampoo does but it is not harmful to you. When my son had lice they came to me and I was pregnant. I couldn't use the shampoo so I used the conditioner. I had to use like 4 cups on just my head. It smothers them and kills them. You will have to go through the strands (literally) and pick every single nit out. If you don't get all the nit's out then they can hatch and the cycle just continues. It is a huge pain in the butt but you can just get them....

Good luck and I really hope that they are gone quickly for you.
I'll trade
I'll trade... we can work anywhere LOL... This is true... I am sure that after a week even I'd be thinking about a flight home to the palm trees. But, if you are interested in trading, I live near Disney (never go, can't afford it), have a pool, live in a pretty country house and for the most part the only time you will sweat bullets is when you step a foot outside the house. Better make sure to bring money because they only allow you a few ounces of deodorant on the plane. Not that you stink but we do if we don't stock up on our Soft-N-Dry! OK then, at least throw me a virtual snowball now and then and I'll send you mickey mouse and his ears to visit for a while :)
Maybe she'll run for President

I'll be celebrating!
I start my new job on 01/02/08 and I have holidays off!

It's a non-medical job with holidays off. I'm starting a new chapter in my life, so YES, I will be celebrating the end of a rough, depressing period of my life.
Thank you, I'll have to try that tomorrow
She's finally asleep.
Oh, you'll have a blast!

We'll probably go to my brother's
He also has 5 boxer dogs that the kids love to play with.  I'll probably take some chili cheese dip or some chicken wings; it's hard to tell what I'll come up.  Him and his wife are on a diet, so I don't want to bring too much of that kind of stuff.  Maybe I'll make a salad! 
Have fun. Sounds like you'll have
xx
I'll trade you
For the six inches of snow and ice in our yard. But seriously, I hope things clear up for both of us soon. I can't wait for Spring!
I guess I'll have to think about that but don't see how (sm)
It is definitely not effective and does not get the reaction I think he wants.
You'll love it
I just finished watching the season finale. Good scary stuff.
I'll have what shes having......
When Harry Met Sally