Social Services Visiting

The main thing I'd say is to remain calm and explain to the investigator like you did here.  Their job is to sort out the truth from the fiction.  I was investigated once because my MTSO made false accusations about me to the police. 

I had to answer questions I didn't enjoy but when the interview was over the investigator was done she told me she believed me and I had nothing to worry about, but if the accuser made another call they'd file harassment charges against me. 

The truth is the truth and they'll sort it out.  Patience will serve you well. 

• I just found out that social services will be paying me a visit and I am - AnonMT
  • myself at one point (sm) - I had a Social Service visit
  • Heads Up - Dinosaur
  • When I was little my parents were visited by one - TAB
  • Also - MT211
    • Several of your suggestions require that - NightOwl
  • You are not required by law to let them in. sm - LMT
    • You don't offer to feed someone you have a restraining - order against. nm
    • Why should she offer to feed the twit? - sm - XXX
  • You'll be okay - Happy MT Robin
    • Sneak it to the stores' dumpster sm - What?????
  • Encouraging Thoughts Here - NightOwl
  • I agree that it will be okay and they'll - sm
  • Social Services Visiting - Donna
    • your MTSO made accusations?? sm - MT
      • MTSO made false accusations - Donna
        • That's like something out of a Lifetime movie - Mortified!

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freaking out!  My estranged husband, on whom I have a restraining order, showed up at my house today, obviously he had been drinking.  Long story short, one of my son's friends shows up, one that is not allowed at the house.  I immediately sent the teenager away, but my husband proceeds to start raging about how he would run things if he were still living here.  I then told him he could leave as well.  That I kicked the teenager and I expected him to leave too.  He refused and said he would leave if I gave him money because he needs to contribute groceries to his buddy with whom he is staying.  He doesn't work and hasn't worked for much of our marriage.  I told him if he wanted to help out his buddy, he should get a job.  He came into the house, sat down on my couch and refused to leave until I gave him money. 

My son called the police to enforce the restraining order.  The police show up and while he is in their custody, he tells them that I have 10 to 14 teenagers in my house every day and that he doesn't feel that it is a good environment for our 8yo daughter.  He tells there was marijuana in my house. 

So now the police are telling me they have to file a report with family services because my house could be a hostile environment and they have to follow up on every complaint.  The marijuana episode did happen; however, my daughter and I were not at home.  My husband was still living at home at the time and caught my son and a couple of friends smoking it and instead of stopping them immediately and kicking everybody out, I was told that he took a hit off the joint.  I was told that by all three kids whom I questioned separately.  When I confronted my soon to be ex about this, his explanation was that he didn't take a hit, he put it up to his mouth and nose to smell to see if it really was pot.  Still he did not put up fuss, punish our son, or kick anybody.  Instead I find out about the pot from the sister of one of my son's girlfriend who told me because she was worried about her sister and she was the one who originally told me my husband took a hit.

Now, because my husband is angry that I have kicked him out and am filing for divorce, he is telling these lies and half truths to the cops and now I have to worry about getting visited from social services.  I've been crying all evening and I'm wondering what I should expect.  I have to clean my house from top to bottom, make sure this sucker shines and I guess not let my son have any friends over ever again!

I am so upset!  I absolutely hate my ex-husband.  I live in a rat hole as it because he has refused to work and he has junked up with all the crap he refuses to throw away.  The man won't even through away magazines.  I have stacks and stacks of magazines and newspapers that every time I've tried to throw out or recycle, he picked them out of the bins and brought them back into the house.  Now I'm faced with this mountain of crap that I have deal with immediately before I get visited by the social worker. 

I'm sorry to go on and on.  I'm just so overwhelmed and stressed and I just want to curl up in a little ball and die.  My kids are my life.  I don't beat them, I feed them, I clothe them, I play with them, and have fun with them.  They are the reason I work, the reason I breathe.  The idea of having someone come into my home and question my fitness as a mother makes my physically ill.

You guys, thank you for continually listening to my saga.  You guys gave me the strength to kick him out to begin with.

Swiss restaurant to serve meals cooked with human breast milk

A Swiss gastronomist has stirred a controversy in the tranquil Alpine republic after announcing that he will serve meals cooked with human breast milk.

Women will receive just over £3 (US$5.4) for 14 ounces of their milk Photo: GETTY The owner of the Storchen restaurant in the exclusive Winterthur resort will improve his menu with local specialities such as meat stew and various soups and sauces containing at least 75 per cent of mother's milk.

"We have all been raised on it. Why should we not include it into our diet?" Hans Locher, who has become Switzerland most controversial restaurant owner, said.

Mr Locher attracted the attention of the leading media of the German-speaking world this week after he posted ads looking for women donors, who will receive just over three pounds for 14 ounces of their milk.

He said: "I first experimented with breast milk when my daughter was born.

"One can cook really delicious things with it. However, it always needs to be mixed with a bit of whipped cream, in order to keep the consistency."

The food control authority in Switzerland was initially confused by the apparent loophole in local legislation regulating the use of human milk and it was not clear whether Mr Locher could actually be banned from serving his specialities.

"Humans as producers of milk are simply not envisaged in the legislation.

"They are not on the list of approved species such as cows and sheep, but they are also not on the list of the banned species such as apes and primates," Rolf Etter of the Zurich food control laboratory said.

We are FINALLY going to break down and take the kids (ages 6, 9, and 12).  But I've heard so much conflicting info.  Stay in the resorts/stay in Kissimmee, go in Sept./go in Dec, Go to Disney/go to Universal - I'm soooo confused.  Yes, we will be on a budget, but I DO want to have a good experience as this may be the only time we can do this, at least while the kids are young enough to see it through a kid's eyes.  PLEASE, some of you who have been before - tell me where you stayed, which parks you went to, etc.  THANK YOU, thank you, thank you...Sherrie

I am in a bad situation. I had my house foreclosed on last year but it was in a prior bankruptcy, that is good. But we had to let our car go back, which was in my husband's name and now they are hounding us over paying it back...they are saying 11k but if we give them 6k that would settle it.  Like we told them, if we had 6k we would not have let the car go back in the first place.  Plus we have several doctor bills.  We lost it all due to my health all of a sudden. No place to turn, no one to ask.  Wanting to get out lives back. Wondering if anyone has had experience with Credit Counseling and if they really do speak with creditors, get what you owed cut in half and help you out of a bad situation.

Thanks....

11 years old is much too young to be home alone all day, much less with a younger sibling. Even 13 years old is pushing it. Alone, maybe. With a younger sibling, absolutely not.

If it were me, I would call Child Protective Services. You might wait a couple of weeks after the incident you mentioned so it won't be totally obvious that you are the one who called. But this is a bad situation and it is not going to get any better unless someone does something about it.

Good luck!

but I will tell you this, most mothers are going to voice their opinions to their kids about how they did things compared to out YOU do things.  I think it's in the mother by-laws somewhere.  :)  My mother constantly tells me I'm too soft with my kids and I am.  My mother was a strict disciplinarian similar to your aunt when I was a kid.  Spankings were routine and generally with the belt or the fly swatter or any other object handy.  That's why I'm so soft.

I let me mother know early on after I became a mother, that my kids are MY KIDS.  She can give me advice and I'll always listen, but I will make the final decision on how and when to discipline my children and I and ONLY I (and DH too of course) will dole out any discipline necessary.  Nobody else has permission to spank my children, EVER! 

My mom and I get along pretty good now.  I accept that she will be nosy and pushy and she accepts that I will ignore her and not call for a few days when she gets on my nerves. 

I would just suggest being honest with your aunt and letting her know that you think you're a good mother, your DH thinks your a good mother and that your kids are doing fine and behave fine and if she doesn't think so, then she doesn't need to see the kids.

She will receive social security at a rate of 50% of what he receives as long as they have been married for 10 years.  Am not sure if you can begin to collect this at age 6 or have to wait until 65 or 66.  As far as medicare goes though, she is not eligible for this until she reaches 65/66 unless she is deemed disabled and not able to work and then she goes on SSI.   Up to 3 wives-ex-wives can receive 50% of what the husband's social security allotment is without reduction but it never reduces the husband's amount. (as long as they have been married for 10 years).   They did this so that all of the older ladies that never worked in the 40's 50's etc. could receive something when they retired as long as their husband was eligible.  Now if he should die, she will receive more and that will stay in effect until she dies.   With as expensive as Medicare and supplements are becoming it is no longer a deal to get Medicare and hardly any docs will take Medicare "only". 

Patti

I posted the other day about where I had seen that social worker before, and couldn't find her on the cast list - wouldn't have helped if I had.  I was watching Sally Field on the Boniva commercial and it popped into my head.  Social worker was on that Boniva commercial where those 4 women were supposed to be being quiet in a museum.  Isn't it funny how the brain works?  - haha - especially mine.

No one has come by yet, but it's only Monday, but I did get the house cleaned with the help of my son, his girlfriend, and two of his friends.  I took the advice below about shuffling all my ex-husband's junk to the garage.  He has a fixer upper car in the garage anyway, so I just piled stuff around it, on top of it, and in it.  The garage is a complete mess, but we don't live in there, so whatever.  My son and his buddies cleaned up outside the house too.  We had about 10 bags of trash for the trash truck this morning, but they took every one of them.  Thank goodness!!

I'm way more calmer now than I was on Friday when all this crap broke loose.  Thanks to everyone for calming me down.  I'm ready now for when the social worker stops by.  I saw another officer over the weekend at the gas station and he asked me about my situation, asked me if my ex was ever served and then told me that he was proud of me for finally getting rid of him and that he would talk to his boss about this whole "social services thing."  He said his boss (who was the officer at my house on Friday) doesn't really know the ins and outs of the community like the officers do and he'd make sure he let him know that my ex is the one causing all the trouble.

So that made me feel better too.  I just can't believe how ugly this is getting.  I guess I'd better prepare myself because it will probably get worse before it gets better.  The divorce is just beginning.

My SIL has worked exactly 3 (count them) 3 months in her entire lazy life.  They took bankruptcy a couple of years ago, of course she wasn't going to go to work and help out then because she said "it's not my fault we are in this mess."  Now my brother is coming up to within 10 years of retirement and actually has problems with arthritis that may cause him to have to retire sooner.  She insists that she should be given a social security check when she "retires" and that she should be eligible for medicare when my brother retires.  She is several years younger than him and I tried to tell her she will have to get out and get private insurance for herself until she is of age.  She insists the government "owes this to her".  I would like to string her up to the highest tree, but I am told that is illegal also. 

Am I crazy?  She certainly can't be put on Medicare just because her husband is eligible can she? 

I think she just figures she will either live on his SS benefits or kill him off with the side jobs in addition to his FT job he has been trying to do to keep her in the style she wants to become accustomed and then be eligible for widow's benefits. 

I guess I really don't understand the SS and Medicare issues, just hoping someone could shed some light on this. 

She simply REFUSES to work regardless of how much they have needed the money and/or benefits.  Can't watch your soaps if you work all day and that is very important to her.  GRRRR.  Sorry to vent.  Will go mind my own business now.