You know, I don't know, but I would tend to believe the other posters have hit
Posted By: Wondering on 2007-02-01
In Reply to: Why doesn't he break up with his girlfriend? - nm
the nail on the head that it is a comfort zone and perhaps he cannot or will not be without a woman. He is not terribly outgoing, so I do suspect he has esteem issues of his own. In any case, I think I will follow the advice here and wait and see what life brings and not try to settle for less than.
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My granddaughter's birthday in June, hope to get some favors, etc. I hate to jump on the bandwagon as I don't like all this stuff of kids growing up too soon. I hate to see them get out of princess and Cinderella. Oh well, any ideas on how to get ahead of the game - only the 1 and 2 grades invited, I find it sad that they don't have good old fashioned values but guess I'm history. PS: They do go to church, etc., for those who are ready to attack with other ideations. Peer pressure, sick of it all. Nice girls, pure and simple but getting into the bogus world of peer pressure. Confused!!
LOL to both those posters. I wish I were
clever enough to think of something... but more gullible, I would be the recipient of such a trick. This is why I work at home. :)
I tend to believe
that everything is vitamin deficiency. I have had similar symptoms and felt better with magnesium supplementation and Kelp. I also take regular vitamins in addition. You could also be having some side effects from the bcp and Ambien.
I tend to take the attitude that our bodies heal themselves, but I do have to make sure that the food I eat has some nutrition to it, that my bed is facing the right direction, and that I get some fresh air and a little exercise.
I did formerly think everything was mental, but my diet was mostly junk and I smoked two packs a day. The behavior was crazy, but I wasn't, just unhealthy.
I tend to be like your SIL
I tend to be like your SIL and rarely call people. There is something in the back of my mind that thinks I'm bugging them and I can't get past that. It's weird, I know. It also comes from years of working in a business where I had to make small talk with people I don't know and having to answer constantly ringing phones.
Just because I completely get where she is POSSIBLY coming from, I would say to not take it to heart so much and keep on making the effort.
I'm not referring to the posters...sm
who disagree as being busybodies, but people who make a stink about this issue in general...Never said it was the disagreeing posters who are the busybodies...read carefully....
Agree with other posters, plus...
She was punished in school. Unless something really, really bad (which thankfully never happened), I would let school behavior be dealt with at school and home behavior dealt with at home. However, I let my kids know that in no uncertain terms, the teacher had my blessing in dealing with them in the appropriate manner (pretty scary lol).
But I have to say, and please do not take offense, but she wanted a book... not a toy... for some reason that just breaks my heart. I guess because my daughter loves books and they are her world (now an English major with college professor aspirations).
Anyhow, no one is perfect, kids nor parents.
I was one of the posters in the dicsussion below
and I said that I asked my 14yr old DD how many girls she knew that were pregnant. She said 0. She just finished middle school and will start high school with my DS this fall. Picked him up from Washington DC yesterday and told him about the discussion. He will be a junior this fall. Asked him how many girls were preggers and he said if it is not a rumor, then 13. I was shocked. Guess I was being fooled by many. But once again, I do know some really good girls, my DD included.
So I will apologize to both posters
the one who called me looney and the other who called me juvenile. Sorry if I offended you both...I find this board to be both a comfort and a place I can vent and hopefully help those who ask for advice or help with terminology. I don't want to come off as rude...I was just feeling a little hurt, as I would never call someone here a negative name, as I feel we are commrades...Hope that makes sense....I will shut up now and let this go...Just feeling sad that my good intentions turned sour. No hard feelings? None here.
I'd have to agree with the other posters.
He sounds very controlling. I was married to that and it took me 13 years to get away from the mental abuse and longer to "regroup." My situation was extreme. I grew up in a household in the days where "the man was the boss and you did what they said." So, when I married young, I viewed my husband as my "boss" or "master" and I was supposed to do as he said and NEVER talk back. I was allowed no friends, could not socialize or work outside of the home because other men may be at the place I might work. I was timed when I went to the grocery store and one time I took too long and he locked me it of the house..it was my son's birthday.. He also watched our house from his work with binoculars so he would know when and if I left the house and if any men came over. Well, after finally getting a job, getting out in the "real" world, I found out that people didn't live that way. The women I worked with actually had friends, could have lunch with them etc.. I remember them all inviting me out to lunch while at work, and I remember being terrified that he'd "catch" me out somewhere other than work and I would get in trouble. Once, I figured out this treatment was wrong, I decided to fight back, and the first time I talked back, he went nuts..threatening to cut off all my hair so no one would want me if I left him etc..This insanity continued until God came me the strength to leave. The first thing I did was enroll in college at age 27, having never even finished high school, but I was ready for college and I knew I had to do it if I ever wanted to get out of there and support myself. He made my life so miserable while I went to school and most days I just wanted to quit and give up, but I didn't. I just kept going and thank goodness. Long story short. I started my life over at 30 and have never looked back. I was single for 8 years before I got married again. It took me that long to fix myself so that I would never again put up with that crap. So, NOW, I'm the boss and it's my way or I'll slap his beak off LOL. On a serious note, I don't mean to pass judgment but your husband sounds too controlling and it's time to stand up now or forever hold your peace. I remember being called a fat a#$#$@# when I weighed 120 lb. I was scared to eat and get fat because he berated me. Mind you, this man got to 325 lb but I was the fat a#$#$#@.. Yes, life is good now. I'm my own person and married to the man of my dreams and who worships the ground I walk on..the way it should be...LOL Best wishes to you. No one deserves to be treated less than equal.
I think you get the picture of the posters
xx
Yeah they do need posters over there
I've already got in trouble for posting that it was boring over there and got an e-mail that was rather defensive because I even said it and I did say it nicely.
There are no job ads; same ole Diskriter, Focus...
Same posters all the time... blah, blah 
I've tried several times to seem interested, but it's just the same ole boring stuff.. This board is much more exciting and informative.
I agree with the posters below.
You need to move closer to family and see a doctor. You can also find the local social services department and they will provide free medications for 6 months. you will have to see one of their doctors but and fill out some paperwork but that's the only catch.
Depression is higher around the holidays. The weather, finances, family, on top of every day stresses can be overwhelming. Being in this antisocial job doesn't help either. I have often thought of getting something a few days a week just to get out of the house. I think it would do anyone good.
Know that things could always be worse and they will get better. Your grandson is young, he doesn't understand but will some day. Even if he had 30 presents, he would still think "where's the rest" as this is a common occurrence in kids. I thought it was only my child but since have found many others are the same.
Keep your head up and do what you can. It's ok to cry and vent to others. Don't keep it all bottled up inside. You will be surprised to find who your true friends and family are when you open up and really need them.
I agree with the other posters.
Definitely go up atleast 1 size.
I am pregnant now. I haven't even had a shower yet and everyone is giving me newborn stuff. I guess it is what everyone likes to give but forget that they are not in them very long.
If anyone else gave her diapers for her shower or just to be nice when they come to see the baby, odds are they will give her newborns. I have also heard that some hospitals allow you to take home with you what newborn diapers are left in the room on discharge so she may have those too. I'm sure it is not a lot but it all adds up.
I agree with most of the other posters.
I have an 11yo stepson. At his biomom's house he stays home alone for about an hour by himself after school and rides the bus home. He has been doing it since 3rd grade and he is still scared out of his mind when he does. We have talked about safety and all the rest with him to make sure he can make the best decision possible when home alone because it is out of our control. We do not leave him alone during our parenting time. He is a great kid but this doesn't have as much to do with him as with other people. You can't trust anyone. When it comes down to it, a kid will be a kid and when people get scared they forget things. He does have 3 teachers from his school that live on the same street and the walk from the bus is not far but things can happen very quickly and you don't know who you can trust these days.
I agree with most of the posters below, but I would
also like to add that it sounds like he needs a job or some form of exercise and male companionship. If he's not currently working, I take it that financially it's not hurting you. Therefore, it doesn't matter if he takes a minimum wage job -- clerking at a hardware store, etc. This will give him some self-worth, get him out of your hair and hopefully give him an outlet to talk about some of these world topics.
If he doesn't want to take a job, he should consider joining a gym. Exercise releases endorphins which makes you feel happy. It would also help with his figure. Maybe you could get a couples rate and go together. My hubs and I just joined our local gym. So far, we haven't gotten to go together because of the kids, but we both go separately with a friend.
I know what you mean about living in a small town. We live in a very small town -- population about 7000, 1 grocery store, 1 hardware store, 2 convenience stores, 2 dollar stores and a couple pizza/sandwich shops. But if you really want something, you'll find it. Maybe he just needs a gentle push.
If all else fails, you could give a call to his doctor and let him know about how he's been acting. His doctor could then discuss things with him (without letting him know that you've talked to him) and maybe prescribe some medication or run some tests that could find a medical cause for his negativity.
Good luck -- and as I said, I agree with what the other posters have said about changing yourself. My dad was the same way after he retired, but then he got a part-time job delivering furniture locally and joined the gym. He's a lot better now and my mom's grateful that he "talks" with his coworkers about some of the stuff he was bugging her with.
You may be right, I tend to be very negative
So thanks for the honesty, I may just get that DVD.
Tend to agree with you
especially with the way we are being "kept alive" longer these days with more and more medical breakthroughs, medicines, proceduers, etc. It's not uncommon to live into your 80s and 90s any more.
On a slightly different note, I felt middle aged the first time a grocery clerk called me "ma'm". Oh boy did I feel old even though I'm only 48 
Sister! Except I tend to not even
start what I figure I won't finish, LOL. But sleep is one of my (only) 3 hobbies.
I just want to garden and walk my puppies and watch TV and sleep.
Is there any money in putting in gardens for other people when I don't even have a degree in horticulture? Sigh.
For the aircraft, I tend to wonder if (sm)
it was some sort of military craft they were testing and the bird I wonder if may have been an exotic pet someone had that escaped or was abandoned. Either way, it didn't belong where it was.
I tend to agree with you - sm
Also a huge, huge fan for years and then the story line seemed to get more and more ridiculous. I kept watching but would often flip through a magazine at the same time. I was going to quit watching last year, but when I heard it was the final season I figured I would see it through to the end. Yep, they should have ended it when it was still a great show. Glad they put it to bed at last!
I tend to agree
R's parents are not, to my knowledge, alcoholics. However, multiple family members on his mother's side are; those that don't admit to being alcoholics just consider themselves 'hard drinkin' good ol' boys. However, I think R's childhood created a 'perfect storm'. His parents, while not alcoholics, did used to like to drink with friends and many weekends would dump the 2 kids off with the maternal grandparents so they could go drink and carouse. Lesson learned: Booze and buddies are more important than family with a dash of feeling unloved.
Add to that the fact that alcohol helps numb the pain and lets you feel like you're a different person for a while. In addition, since literally everybody he spends time with drinks and 'smokes' as much as he does, he is accepted. After I had called the police, he was shocked because I would do such a thing. In his circle, it is accepted that you get drunk, sometimes you hit each other, and you just accept it because everyone knows you do stupid things drunk and it doesn't mean anything. I probably perpetuated that by not calling in the cops the very first time he laid hands upon me.
I'm not 100% sure I believe in the genetic risk. I tend to lean toward environmental. After his arrest, R went 2 months without drinking. There were several days in there where he would groan about really wanting a Budweiser, but he worked through those days. But then he started spending more and more time with his cousin, and then one day he didn't work through it anymore and twisted off the cap and has been drinking steadily again for the last month.
Although I'm not a big Dr. Phil fan, I heard a quote from him that went, "We generate the reality we think we deserve." I think psychotherapy would help R more than AA, so that he can get back to where he realizes that sober R is not unworthy of anything.
I know, I know, Us Pittsburghers tend to go just a
invite all you over for a party, though -- If you lived nearby you would be welcome.
Anyway -- Great game by two great teams.
And I am psyched!!!!!  I am calm now. A little bit.
Oh what the heck ---  GO PENGUINS!!!
To the 2 posters who gave me info on WW ...
The Points system is the best. I'm joined the online program and keep my points tracker open all day.
Thanks for giving the information you did.
I agree with you; don't understand all these other posters
It's not like he is 4 or 5; he is 10.
True. Look at posters to this board who take bad
x
If this is so boring - why bother? they need posters over there can't you tell
by this thread?
The younger ones tend to have more 'stamina.' If the 2 of you get
ENJOY!
We do tend to remember the image
we had of ourselves from back when we all used to look in the mirror most often (that is, in our teens and early 20s). Men have an even stronger tendency for this than women. I remember Steve Martin being interviewed. He confessed that even though all the men in his family had had their hair turn white at early ages, he had not noticed it was happening to him until he saw himself in a movie.
People do tend to underestimate
the cost of having pets. Their intentions may be good, but it's an education problem. Where I live, if you don't have the dog on flea control and heartworm prevention, a dog just can't be healthy (well, I have heard some raw diet experts say their dogs can be kept free of fleas with their natural techniques, but they are highly educated on the subject). I've got a partial bag of dog food I can't use; wish you were in my area so I could donate it, but you didn't say.
Those places tend to be more expensive sm
Glad you found something that works for you, but that is not the case with everyone. QVC, Catherine's, etc, tend to be more expensive, which is okay for a special occasion outfit once in a great while, but I cannot afford to spend that kind of money on my everyday clothing. Also, if I can't try it on, I usually don't buy it. I have bought clothing from catalogs and feel for me that it is not worth the hassle. Things look one way on TV or in a picture that do not translate well on me. Even in a store, I have picked something up that I thought was really nice and hated it once I tried it on, as I am sure many women have. I am not defending wearing too-small clothes. I am only trying to come up with a reason for someone doing so. You wouldn't catch me dead out of the house in something too small.
Well, he WAS a prophet. Shame on cruel posters.
xx
Yeah, and it's always the ever-so-resentful posters who can't STAND sm
the fact that we are work-at-home MOMs!
I am so sick and tired of reading all of these negatives posts from those supermom's or those who abhor children, who sit on their high-horse and can't believe that we work at home with our children here. My children are very well behaved, very intelligent, LOVE ME BEING HERE, and I work doing MT and have been for about 8 years now.
Never, and I mean never, have I seen children with work-at-home parents kill someone, kill themself, become a drug addict, etc. Never. The ones that I see with all the issues are those parents who are A-B-S-E-N-T. Yes, I am yelling. I am just so sick and tired of all the backlash and negativity against us stay-at-home moms.
I think you are guiding your anger towards the wrong people. I don't know if your parents dropped you off somewhere when you were little, but you definitely have a problem to be so against us - and go so far as to call us inprofessional to be working from home. I have an idea. Why don't you NOT worry about us stay-at-home, work-at-home moms because your arguments carry absolutely no merit whatsoever. None.
As moms or dads, we are here. With them. And it does matter. They are thriving. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Before you start printing up posters and plastering
them all over town, campus, et cetera... remember there IS a little girl involved here with very tender feelings.
How long ago was his conviction or was it an accusation? What is the history behind the charges?
I beg you to PLEASE check with authorities and possibly a grief counselor for advice BEFORE you destroy a little girl who may have absolutely no idea of her father's past.
Posters here are giving great advice
I would definitely stash the savings before she got her hands on it. AND, I do believe she needs some help. Overspending can be a sign of a chemical imbalance. At the least, she needs budget counseling. You have to think past the moment, to the years ahead when you are both old and could possibly be broke.
We live in a double-wide trailer, older, but it is nice, and we are fixing it up room by room. Our mortgage is smaller than what rent would be. This is a conscious choice for us, knowing that if you choose the big fancy house, the big fancy payment comes with it. If you are already struggling, please stay where you are. I think you knew your answer before you asked us, just wanted affirmation, and all of the posters are wise on their advice. Best of luck to you.
Are you harsh posters cops or parents?
A little late to post, but here's my idea as a mom of 5. Get her out of the house, some place public, Starbucks or the bookstore - a place where she won't storm off and you'll both be civil to each other at least for a few minutes. Tell her you love her, be understanding and really talk to her. Ask her what is going on in her life, is she stressed about something in particular? Don't alienate her. There is a lot of life ahead for you both and this is not a permanent condition for her. If ALL you do is punish you risk sending her off in a bad direction. At the end of the conversation it may seem you got nowhere, but she'll think about things and hopefully be a bit less impulsive. Please post back and let us know how things go.
wow that's SO true-we tend to the elder parent who....
at least some of us will make/made that choice - I certainly did.....well, the abusive one died many years prior to the nonabusive parent (the Lord does have one strange sense of humor I thought back then *lol*) and took care of the nonabusive parent for 10 years until their demise.
Children are forgiving, but if a parent NEVER says *I'm sorry* or *I was wrong* when, indeed, they are/were wrong, well I do not believe children/offspring forget.
just my 3 cents worth......
Men do tend to die younger, so it makes sense
to find a younger one. Mine is 4 years older, and he is aging faster because he hasn't taken care of himself. High school and college sports can take a heavy toll on a man.
I find they tend to be polite and reserved.
It makes me feel like the rest of us must seem loud, nosy and obnoxious to them, but then again I tend to be paranoid when people are too quiet, LOL.
Were there Herb gardens to tend to in jail? LOL. nm
x
well the word "hijacked" does tend to put one on the defensive
x
As women, I think we all tend to have issues with our MILs...
No one is ever good enough for their sons, kind of thing--lol
Guys tend to pack light, and
probably would be embarrassed by something you were calling a hope chest. Nothing wrong with having a bin with practical essentials for them to take with them, but if it goes beyond what they can see they'll need immediately when they venture out on their own, they might leave it behind. And if it is girly or can't take a beating or isn't flexible about going from DW to MW to oven, it's not going to get used IMO.
Also, I tend to look back at decisions I made and (sm)
question whether I made the right decision. I will blame myself for things...but then often when I look back and think through exactly how I came to the decision that I ended up with, I remember how things were at that time, and how I felt, and I know that if I was in the same situation again, I would make the same decision. I bet you would too. You don't seem like the type of person who would make a big decision like that lightly. I am in the process of making a decision about divorcing. I am a Christian and I think I have probably stayed way longer than I should have. However, I have been praying hard lately, and asking others to pray for me, and things have been miraculously lining up and I believe pointing toward divorce. I am not expecting a bed of roses, nor to be rid of my husband, but I am hoping and praying for some oasis of peace in between his visits.
Computer users tend to forget to blink.
When we don't blink, visual acuity decreases. Get some good wetting eye drops without preservatives and keep them at your desk. Two recommended brands are Systane by Alcon and Refresh Liquigel by Allergan (these are thicker).
These are recommended by my eye doctor who did my LASIK and are not cheap.
Try to get in a habit of blinking more.
Hope these tips help you.
They like heat. Will tend to find warm place to
xx
Posters are correct, child support diff from visitation
Just because a parent is behind on child support does NOT mean you lost your visitation rights, even if you went to court and tried making restitution. What the courts might do is GARNISH your salary (if employed) with some going towards back child support. I am not sure if all states are the same, but I would think they are on this subject, but again, I'm not sure. Florida works this way though, this I can assure you.
The news does tend to be bad, true. Put your head back in the sand then.
However, see if you can stomach this....2 yr old toddler disappears for a month as her mother appears to party like a 22 year old with no children by the camera's eye. When grandma finally realizes something is amiss upon discovering her daughters abandoned car with the smell of decomposing human tissue in the trunk, the 911 calls begin. Casey Anthony is a deeply disturbed young woman who by all appearances seems to have done away with her beautiful little girl by means of a shovel and gasoline. The truly unfortunate person here is the child, Caylee, whose mother is a monster.
For some items you could buy men's, they tend to be longer with longer sleeves. NM
x
She wasn't talking to you, BTW. She was talking about the 2 posters below! nm
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