sorry to interupt the conversation here, but see suggestion inside. sm
Posted By: LMT on 2007-11-28
In Reply to: SO funny - jlynn
Your daughter is still young and I think as time goes by and she gets older, she may want something to do with her dad and those memories. I think if it were me, i would consider that burial plot the family has offered. Do you necessarily have to put a casket there for remains? At least your daughter could have a place to go to like a memorial for her dad one day if you did get the burial plot and put a tombstone there for her even if the remains did not go there. Can you put the remains away in storage in case someday she may want them if not the burial plot? My sister is buried within 20 miles of my home and i go there several times a year when i just need to get away for a little bit or feel down. it is the only place i really feel close to her at. i think your daughter as she gets married, matures in life, and has a family of her own might need this type of place to remember her father by and tell her children memories of their grandfather, etc.
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The conversation goes something like this (sm)
"But I know I can't be a real wife to you" he says, "well that's for sure, but I do things for you that I don't want to do, so you could do things for me that you don't want to do." It makes me feel like I have to sell my body to him.
I'd have a conversation with hubby.
Stay calm, but tell him you consider this cheating. See his reaction. He will downplay it, I'm sure. Repeat that you consider it cheating, and since you do, will he stop? Ask him what he's looking for.
If you don't like his answer, then you have learned something very important about his character. Is this somebody you want to devote your life to and have children with?
Sorry for butting in on your conversation, but
yes clipping the nails does help.
Sorry to butt in on your conversation...
But, I have very severe muscle pain and twitching and have been very interested in trying biofeedback to try to relax the muscles when they cramp. Can you tell me how/where you learned this?
Thanks!
You would have no idea what conversation was
x
it will be a difficult conversation obviously
At 12 and 14 they are plenty old enough to be told the absolute truth. Let them have some time to process it, and then take them for a visit.
This goes toward the conversation on welfare below
Remember that conversation about single moms, welfare and foodstamps?
I was reading an article on MSNBC today. This man ended up in just the situation I was talking about. Read the whole article. Pay attention to the fact that it mentions medical bills and reverse mortgages.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29198366/
Topic of conversation here lately
I was talking about the wages being offered now for MTers and no raises, pay going down and the like just the other night. I said pretty soon looks like the MTSOs will be charging just to have the people working. I am so very glad that most of my working in years past because like the previous person said, I also did around 60,000 years ago and now more in the 20,000. My husband said this can only happen if MTers allowed it to happen. I am not caught up in this hot mess like I would have been years ago but I understand what it is like to try to raise a family and yet the money might not be there. I don’t know what it will take but the workers here 1 day will have to do something about how this profession is heading
Maybe you could just bring up casually in conversation
how much you enjoy the squirrels, and how much it pains you to see when one has been run over. Don't mention the incident at all, just talk in general about squirrels. Even if she views squirrels as pests, hopefully your talking to her will make her more aware of them when she is driving.
I love squirrels, too, and fortunately I have never hit one, but I tell you, more than once I have nearly had a wreck trying NOT to hit one. They are tricky little devils!
I just had this conversation with my hubby last night!
And he will only be turning 40 next month! He was complaining no one wants to be around him anymore, so, against better judgment I jumped in. He has become one of the most judgmental people I know anymore, no one can do anything right, and we are ALWAYS wrong. I don't care if you tell him the sky is blue, he'll tell you how stupid you are! And men say woman are hormonal....HA.
Yes, this conversation didn't address the teacher aspect.
We got off on another related subject. Fortunately some other posters stayed focused on what you actually asked, so at least it wasn't a successful hijacking, LOL. I don't have kids, but what I remember is teachers never saying anything either way. And that is how it should be since each family has their own thing going on.
im the one who started this conversation. things always lead to an argument on this board.
but, i have friends who never started teh santa thing, and then i have friends who still practice the santa tradition. i never questioned myself. i just did as i had been raised. but i understand how some people just dont even start santa. its cool either way. and no one has to agree...everyone is different, i respect differences. but there has got to be a cut off point for puplic school teachers, to step back and leave things for teh parents. yes other kids tell them the truth about santa and, at least i have taught my children that its "bologna..if they dont believe, they dont get presents...bla bla"..so tehy have no prob blowing that off. but when their TEACHER says it, it might as well be the GOSPEL. ya know.
sorry for typo inside, correction inside this one
At the time I posted it was a 23-y/o Korean THE DETAILS of who did the shooting had not hit the newswires UNTIL THEN.
you didnt write that conversation. shame shame
s
another suggestion
Is that you could have her front teeth removed. It doesn't make any difference to their ability to eat most foods, and they can learn to eat without them, and be just fine. You can read more about it here: http://www.rabbit.org/journal/2-6/tusks.html
I have a suggestion.
Explain to DH that he needs to go and get a second job so that you can take of the children. It sounds as though he does not really want to help with the children, so maybe he should work the second job, and you just work one job, which will free you up to take care of your children. Your post makes me want to cry. I feel so sorry for your children. You have to find a way to take care of those children and not work that second job.
I have an even better suggestion
you are asking for support when it should not come from strangers but from your immediate family but having said that, why in the world do you not see about someone to keep the children so you can work? Your DH is not helping and apparently you need the second income. Just imaged you worked at Burger Kings and keep a daycare/baby sitter/family member to see after the kids. No wonder job looked at unprofessional these days, holding the baby in 1 arm and typing with the second.
My suggestion is...sm
Make sure it is a name the child can live with her entire life. I know the trend is to make up names or take established names and twist their spellings so they are unrecognizable, but I think it's a dumb trend and the kids suffer when they have to go through their whole lives either pronouncing or spelling their names. I often wonder where the parents' heads are.  JMHO.
Oh, and I love the name Kate.
Thanks, I appreciate the suggestion
The rug is already on its way....
If he were younger, or if it were only the one leg, I would try the puppy booties. But both his back legs are weakened from the patellar luxation, even though he had surgery for it. They are quite unsteady at times. Add the right shoulder chronic dislocation and it is really difficult for him to get up and down.
Thanks for the suggestion, though. I hope maybe it will help someone else.
Another suggestion
If you left out a very small amount of dry food at night (measured to make sure it is part of his daily total), would he eat all of it immediately or snack on it through the night? Maybe extra low calorie dry food?
My suggestion is
dont have kids friends over?
Here's my suggestion:
If the bride is very refined and proper, what the heck is she doing having a bridal shower for marriage #2 AND she's in her 50's? Tacky. VERY tacky.
I'd forgo the bra, get some good bubble gum that you can snap, put on some FM-heels, hit Frederick's of Hollywood and bring the most shocking gift(s) your budget allows - something to knock the knickers off her and those giving the shower.
Damn, I hate bridal showers. No, it's not my hormones. I'm like this every day, at least when it comes to something like this. Making people blow a weekend day to shower the middle-aged+ repeat bride with gifts.
By the way, Emily Post is dead and when she gets wind of this, I bet she'll be back.
Thank you for that suggestion sm
She just started a job (I know she is only 14) at my father's grocery store. This was totally her choice. She only works 2 evenings a week and will stop when school stops. I definitely think that is a possibility. Last night was her first time without a trainer. We keep a close eye on her for the next few days and see how it goes. Thanks to all.
My suggestion
My suggestion would be to try to find someone that you can talk to about this, a professional. I dealt with an alcoholic mother growing up who also liked to threaten suicide and guilt me into things - it's the nature of the addiction. Going to counseling myself and attending Al-Anon meetings were the best things I ever did for myself. I still was able to keep somewhat of a relationship with my mother, but the counselor taught me how to detach from her self-destructive behavior and made me realize that I should NOT feel guilty. In order to be of any assistance to your daughter, you need to help yourself first. There are people out there who can help you deal with these issues. I wish you the best.
((((hugs))))
Just a suggestion - sm
What if YOU offered to take the dog?
Dogs are wonderful companions to everyone, especially those suffering with depression.
That way, you know the dog is properly cared for and you have a companion to help you with your depression too.
Maybe they have just taken on more than they can handle with three dogs.
I agree with you that the neighbor is absolutely inconsiderate but they might be open to you adopting their poor pooch.
a suggestion --
For that age group and if they are interested in reading labels, etc. - visit a book store and find a few recipe books for kids - there are MANY on the market - and have them help plan a menu or give suggestions of what they think sounds good. Of course Mom has final say and budgeting factors in etc., but let them know you are not providing a buffet and that if they are going to be that picky they have to be responsible for their choices and make some decisions/choices instead of just whining about what they don't like - also that they must compromise with other family members' tastes. Let them help prepare meals (surprising what they'll eat if they are able to brag about "helping cook it" at the table!) and be more involved in their choices instead of just complaining - may be complaining just for the sake of driving mom nuts! and yes, I have 4 kids myself - I know how they can be :-)
This is best suggestion yet. Dog is just going to
x
Another suggestion - sm
Sorry you are having this trouble but this may be worth asking about.
When you meet with your probation officer, ask about your son doing a few hours of supervised community service instead of the $100 fine.
A little labor may be what he needs to remind him not to do this in the future.
I have always told my kids they have one candybar in life (one time to get into trouble.) Once that's gone, its gone and they are on their own.
My son got a ticket for minor in possession when he was 16 and I made him pay the fines, pay for the classes he had to take, and any other costs that were incurred. Tough lesson for him but too bad.
He sure thought more than twice about losing all of his summer working money for one little mistake.
Good luck to you!
Okay, this is my suggestion...
I would let her take the swats, but ONLY this time. Maybe if she has ISS hanging over her head, that will deter her from being late again. That's what punishment is, right?
If she's okay with the corporal punishment, let her go for it. It's not like it's going to scar her for life. A bad grade could possibly have more of an ill effect, which is why you tell her NEXT time she gets the ISS.
Just my opinion.
just a suggestion...
I know that psoriasis and eczema are different things, but since Elocon works for your psoriasis and for my eczema, maybe what also works for my eczema will work for your psoriasis. Try Curel lotion original formula. It is the only lotion I can use. All others inflame my eczema.
just a suggestion
If it was my husband I would just say to him that seeing as he spends the majority of his time there and he obviously prefers to be with his friend than his wife and kids he should look at moving in with this guy. I would tell him I love him very much but I didn't marry him to be "second rate". It doesn't matter if he just wants to be with his friend. You are his wife. He should want to be with you more. There is always the weekend for his friend (and I mean only one day). So if it was me I would tell him that the deal is that he spends his evenings and off time and one whole weekend day with his wife and kids and he can see his friend on the other weekend day. Otherwise pack your bags and adioski. That might just wake him up.
suggestion
never tried it myself but have heard that you can role out gumdrops flat and then cut them. maybe you could find yellow ones and cut them into strips? also, regular frosting out of a can will work if you put yellow food coloring in it and have 5 days to let it air dry. just put it in a ziploc bag, cut off a small corner and pipe it out on wax paper.
possible suggestion for you
While communication is key, try out this website, www.flylady.net. This is a website that offers free advice on loving yourself, and how you can manage all the hectic spheres of your life. You can't control his reactions to what's going on, but you can control how you deal with his reactions. They have a few philosophies that everyone can relate to. The two important ones, in my view, are "you can do anything for 15 minutes" and "you are not behind, jump in where you are". It's not about beating yourself up because you're not perfect (that word is forbidden) - it's loving yourself for who you are and small things add up to the whole. Good luck.
just a suggestion
You could try to look online for a Legal Aid website for your state for specifics and (if necessary) an attorney that may help him (or advise him of his rights) for little or no cost.
Here's my suggestion ...
I would plan a lovely dinner and maybe a band for dancing entertainment. Get married privately beforehand and show up at the dinner to celebrate with family and friends.
A suggestion..
I would go back to the ophthalmologist to have ocular myasthenia ruled out, since you mentioned this has been going on for quite awhile. There are a lot of simple possibilities, but you may need to have it treated.
suggestion
As weird as it sounds, try Crazy Glue - this was suggested to my husband (a cabinetmaker) by his own doctor years ago - and he swears by it.
Good luck!
I have a suggestion for you
This mother who bred all this litter has a web site set up to get contributions. If you have such a bleeding heart, go there and give to her insanity. I hope the law steps in and sees this for what it is worth, a con job. Single mother, no income, living on welfare, cannot even take care of the first 6 she dropped. She needs to be spayed. Put your money where your mouth is. I am sure she would appreciate. Very few dum..folks out there wanting to contribute to such a side show.
suggestion sm
You could send him a card indicating you made a donation in his wife's name to St. Jude Hospital for Children or their church and then do it, send a check with a note explaining, giving her name and his address, etc. They will send a nice card. Older people love this, it is quite an honor to have their loved one remembered this way as he probably has all he needs right now.
Suggestion for you
I know a lot of you will think I am crazy for this but please believe me, it works!
My daughter is a high level gymnast (10) with a full scholarship next year for college in gymnastics. Despite being very good, obviously, she has a lot of mental issues with what she does that sometimes cause her to simply not allow herself go and the anxiety really affects her. The pure love for the sport is what keeps her going as most kids that get to this point just quit. We had tried all the herbal medicines, sports psychologists and on and on but it was still bad. Finally, I saw something about hypnosis and it has truly been a miracle. The hypnotist was able to delve into why she has these anxieties which stem from when she was about 8 years old and use positive reinforcement to quiet that part of her brain. The change in her has been dramatic. Her gymnastics is better than it has ever been. I would suggest you look into it for your son. The hypnotist can find out why or what caused this to be a problem and work through it. I know a lot of people will think this is nuts but many athletes use this form of therapy as I have come to find out. Just recently the 2009 Olympic gold medal pole vaulter also used hypnosis for him to overcome his fear of the pole vault and the results speak for themselves. Good luck and feel free to email with questions.
Just a suggestion
I realize your intentions are good, and you sound like you have a heart of gold! I just wanted to mention that I do not usually respond to e-mails that come in from this site, mainly because I never did set up an e-mail address specifically for logging on here, and the other two addresses I have easily identify me to others I work with or have worked with. I have been able to identify at least three people on this site as folks I've worked with at on-line companies, so never met face-to-face. I think there are a lot of folks on here who just don't want themselves identified, and that may be the reason for no response. It could also be that they had not checked their e-mail at the time you posted this. Gosh, if they were not able to pay the rent/house note or whatever, I imagine things are pretty tough and who knows what else may have happened after they posted here last.
Again, I know you just wanted to help, but the tone of this e-mail does not really reflect that kindness, especially when someone is already downtrodden.
Here's my suggestion
Just ignore them. I've learned in my many years on this planet people like that are not worth the effort.
People who are snobs will not be reformed. I've got a few in my family. One we just stopped talking to altogether, another, my aunt raised me like I was her own daughter and I love her but she's a snob and everyone in town knows it.
So the best thing is to just ignore them. You wish them well, but by having less and less contact with them it won't bother you so much. I always feel bad for my aunt that she is like that because nobody, and I mean NOBODY in her family is like that (she married into money), but they all know what she's like and they ignore her too.
So, ignore her and think of how much better you are not to be a snob like that. I just always think to myself, boy are they going to have a heck of a time explaining themselves to "the higher powers" once they cross over.
Suggestion
I don't know how often the two of you go out, but try this and see what happens.
The next time you're discussing plans to get together and do something, drop the hint that you too are a bit cash-strapped and suggest instead he come over for a home-cooked meal (or even takeout) and a DVD instead of going out.
If he's happy to do that, then I don't think you have reason to worry.
There's role-reversal in my relationship, and while I bring home the bacon, he's the one who handles everything else, so the 'sugar mama' joke is a very long-running in our household, lol!
My suggestion . . .
tell her you cancelled because things were just becoming to be too much of a burden with how much everything was going to cost and with the economy still down, you decided to just stay home and get caught up on spring cleaning instead.
Suggestion
This will sound corny, but a suggestion I heard is to start reading romantic novels. They say men think about sex all the time where women don't. It might be enough to get you thinking along those lines.
In any case, it couldn't hurt. I hope you find something that helps.
One major suggestion
I would not be consulting juvenile authorities for a 6-year-old's behavior issues.
At this age, she needs to be seen by a child psychologist or psychiatrist who can diagnose the issue and outline a treatment plan.
This is not an unusual problem. She is a child and a conscious is something that is instilled by caretakers...it is not an automatic self development.
Please seek care for her behaviorally - not in the courts at this age.
a quick suggestion
when i was a kid, i got a thrill out of stealing dumb stuff, pens, markers, etc. When my mom found out, she made me take my stuff back to the store and hand it back to the owner, and apologize. I was quaking in my shoes at that point. Don't know if that would help in your situation or not...
An actual suggestion
Have you tried looking up some of the Cheerleading competition sites??
Otherwise I would suggest renting a couple of movies Bring it on , Bring it on II and try watching some of the moves and have her put her own twist on them. It worked for my daughter when she tried for dance team.
If nothing else they are good to get you in the right frame of mind.
GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!
Excellent suggestion
x
One more suggestion - buy the books
second-hand and/or get the paperbacks for those out in paperback. No need to go broke.
the problem with your suggestion
is that foster families that will take multiple siblings with potential problems from pregnancy-exposed drug children is that they are almost nonexistent.
The reality is that all the children would be placed in a group home situation and unless the parents get their act(s) together, the state will terminate parental rights to the children and the children group up together in a group home until the age of majority. Rarely are there adoptive parents willing to take all the siblings, either, so the kids can still be split up and then NEVER see each other again.
I know only one person who is an aunt who took all 3 of her sisters damaged children and the stress she is under in trying to "fix" and take care of these children is tremendous. She happens to be a kinship and certified foster care provider as well. There is no such thing as a life of her own, which is why a foster home willing to take multiple siblings from an environment such as this one is almost nonexistent.
Poor kids...it isn't their fault. I would rather see them go to several relatives who can maintain close contact among the siblings than sentence them growing up in a group home.
I also thought you took her comments out of context and were less than understanding of the situation.
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