you already answered you own ? about husband
Posted By: habibi on 2008-02-03
In Reply to: DITTO! - Cee
A change in behavior like that is more than suspicious. Don't be blinded by how he was even a year ago. That was then, this is now. Not sure if you saw Dr. Phil last week about the swingers, but if not, check his w/s just for add'l info. If not that, there's clearly another woman (or man, maybe?). The fact that suddenly you're being left out is no accident, darlin'. I've known married men who do that
down-low thing (ick factor, but true), and everything else in-between.
Are you able to get someone to tail him (a PI, or even a friend who can be trusted)? Also, like I tell everyone, CHECK THE CELL PHONE CALLS! Many cheaters continue to get caught by this, as crazy as it sounds in 2008. The first thing you need to to is set aside your emotions, hard as it may be. So far you've been really smart. This way he's less likely to think you've already gotten a head start on him.
You wrote for advice, but you obviously know you're not being treated right here, and we support you. But don't be blinded by what "was" in the past 10 years. It really sucks, but it's sadly the truth. Many before you have been in the same position. Never again will I ever put all my trust in a man. I'm not bitter, I'm just telling it like it is. That doesn't mean there aren't great men/marriages out there, but there are far too many players and really good con artists!
Incidentally, to this date I still get an abundance of married men hitting on me, so single, married, separated, it matters not. So please get the info first, then remember to keep your self-respect. A man who is cheating, lying, or simply leaving you out of the picture altogether is no man you want to spend the rest of your days with. Don't mean to sound hard, but too many women waste valuable years trying to fix a man, when they should be cutting their losses (regardless of kids or no kids), and maintaining their dignity.
Please keep us posted.
Be strong!
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Thanks so much, all who answered!
You all had some excellent advice, and I sure appreciate it. There are valid arguments on both sides of the question of whether or not to have a curfew for an 18-year-old. We decided to stick with the curfew, and made it clear to our daughter that she was to follow it, or the car would be taken away for a week. While she lives in our house, I want her home at a reasonable hour.
By the way, I do NOT implicitly trust her. My older daughter taught me how foolish that was after a late night car accident (she said she thinks she fell asleep at the wheel). I've been through the teenage thing long enough now to know that we really have no idea what they're doing when we can't see them. I just don't want her on the road at 4 a.m., even if she is 18.
Thanks again for your great advice.
I just answered your email *S*
You just answered a question I had.
I wondered how many symptoms it would help. It would be fantastic to be rid of periods, but how disappointing it doesn't do anything for PMS. So it sounds like you would still have whatever intestinal problems that go along with the hormone changes too. My colon is much more trouble than my uterus, unfortunately.
Once again, question not answered
WHO IS THIS PERSON?? Never heard of her and I am entitled to ask who she is, remember gab board to talk about anything.
ok you answered my question down here...
doesn't the daughter want the ashes or have any ideas what to do about the ashes? 22 years is a long time......
ok and here you answered my question about ...
I should have read the entire thread before I ever posted, eh? *lol* - All my queries have been answered, have a daughter who does not particularly care to have the ashes...but your fiance' does care and I understand the latter's feelings on it...
My suggestion is force the ashes on daughter - leave them at her house as you are getting ready to leave, then you leave...just my opinion, of course....
You answered my question....
Did not think pain, picking up she does not meow, just lays there. Thanks because never had a cat before to reach an old age and be on her last leg, like I suspect she is. I will just keep babying and taking care of her as much as possible.
That was answered in another post
I apoligized to a relative 1 time that got very upset with me. I called, told them over and over as they cursed me out I loved them (they had cancer by the way) and they finally said I could visit them again. I bit my tongue from then on- agreed with everything they said, never had my own thoughts any more but I was able to visit. Never did I say what I wanted to- just went along with the flow- so yes it meant that much to me and I will say sorry.
You answered your own post by questioning me
you said your children tell you everything. You at the same time said your 18 year old son had sex at 17 and told you about it the other day, meaning he had sex, what a year ago and he is now telling you, irregardless of whether he felt bad about it or liked it. It is good that you take the thought that your children tell you everything. I see many disillusioned parents who thought the same way as you do.
I guess I answered my own post
The person posting above said Florida did not allow,something about all their capital punishment?? Whatever she meant by that. You are right, the poster is from Texas and I stated (without my knowing her state) I be willing to bet Texas did the whippings.
She asked, I answered. Cool down.
x
You've answered your question.
They wanted to be on Oprah, etc. This was a stunt.
Is this an answered prayer or is something wrong? (sm)
I have been in the process of getting ready for a divorce. My 11 year old in the past had asked me not to because he would have to spend to much time with his dad. Later he asked me about it, I told him it would be a few months, and he said he was "ready to go right now and get out of here". I have prayed and prayed about this and yesterday my son said it didn't matter to him either way, whether we divorce or not, he will be fine either way. He said it in such a calm nonchalant way. It almost makes me think he is at peace about it all. On the other hand I am worried that maybe he is just giving up or just not willing to talk to me anymore about it? He does seem very calm and ok with everything though and does not seem sad or depressed or worried. Could this be the answer to my prayers?
Well you answered a question that was not asked (sm)
I did not ask you if it was acceptable nor did I ask you if it was right. I asked if it was something most women end up dealing with at some point. Because the statistics I have read say that it occurs at some point in the majority of marriages. I wanted to see if that was true according to the sampling of women on here. Thanks for not patting me on the a&& though - I would have had to report you.
If I had answered with my first thought, X-rated back
but would be off this board so I will say after my bath this morning just put on some Lubriderm as my skin tends to be very dry.
Does your husband or significant other do this? Just now, at 7:30, my husband came home from sm
playing sports with a friend. After showering he comes downstairs naked and tries to start a conversation with me. My "office" is in the living room and he is standing in back of the couch so I can't see any private parts, just him without his shirt, but I can see enough to know he clearly is naked! I think he wants me to be amused or get turned on or something, but I'm not amused one bit. In fact, I keep working and basically ignore him.
Poor guy. I swear he thinks he's Vince Vaughn or something. I should at least smile at him but all I want to tell him is to put some clothes on! ugh!
My husband is the same way
Something about guys and their cars. I have no kids though and recently married so we still do some of our banking and bills separately by my choice. I thought he was being selfish too. So I got myself a 2nd part time job and I recently went out and bought a newer, bigger, fully loaded SUV and I don't let him use it! lol
My husband and I are doing it right now
and it is working, slowly but surely. After the first couple of things are paid off, its gets better and faster. We have a poster board with all our debt and we redo it every three months, and I must say that you see the debt going away. My hubbie cut all my credit cards up, and I was upset but in the scheme of things, it was the best. We only have one income and its working. Give it a try, I think you'll be surprised that it actually does work. My friend is also doing it, and their debt is disappearing also.
My husband and I did think of it. NM
x
What is your husband's take on that? nm
x
Go for it! I met my husband .....sm
2 months after his wife died from a 3 year bout with cancer and we're very happily married.
Good luck!!!
My husband always tries, although he just
doesn't necessarily have the same taste as me. It is a hit and miss with him, but he always tries. This year we did not exchange gifts (agreed upon ahead of time) because I got a new house and he got a new truck. We concentrated on the kids. The only gripe I really have is that he doesn't do much in the way of getting me gifts from the kids on Mother's Day, and he's not much of a card person, although I am.
He helped me clean all week though, did anything I asked pretty much, cleaned up all day today, etc.
Honestly though, I do not agree with the posts below about making a list. I think that a gift should come from the heart and that some thought should be put into it. Things that I just want, I go get them myself.
My husband and I have 2
roundtrip airfare tickets for anywhere in the US. I'm looking for an all-inclusive resort (room, meals, activities), but am having a hard time finding one. Can you help me out with this? Thanks!
My husband
used this for his leg pain due to fibromyalgia but had a very bad reaction to it so was not able to continue to use it. He found a natural supplement online that has helped. Best of luck!!
So, you would be okay with your husband
nm
This is what my husband (sm)
told me last night. I really hope that isn't what is going on. I am going to talk to her again about it again today. She has a cell phone (very near and dear to her heart!) I like for her to have it, so that I know she is okay when she isn't home, but since I now know that she is still smoking, I think I have very good reason to ground her. Hence, she won't be needing the cell phone.
Thanks for the input everyone.
My husband only uses
regular lotion, but he does like to take baths sometimes. He was glad when we moved and got a garden tub so he could soak. He doesn't go out of his way to use bubbles, but he will take one with me with bubbles.
Met my first husband when I was 5, LOL - sm
First crush was Greg. I met him when I was 5. We played together at church. We started "going together" when I was 13. We got married when I was 18. We got divorced when I was 32. Tried again several times. Finally called it quits when I was 37...sigh.
Then there was Stacy....we were together for two years.
Then there is Tommy, we have been together for three years - married for two years.
My husband was the one who
donated the sperm and had it washed, the doctor performed the IUI, and nature created twins. It was a WE effort in my case.
This is your husband
If there's one person in the world you should be honest with, it's your husband. Don't lie about this, this is BIG...just explain to him your feelings and if he loves you and you love him, you can work it out and make both of you happy. But lying WILL come back to bite you in the a$$...trust me, I know...good luck!
My husband was gay
We've been divorced for a while now, but it still hurts like crazy. I don't know anyone who has been through this. Is there anyone out there who's spouse came out to them?
My husband did!
He had to have surgery because otherwise the muscles would have atrophied. Because lifting was required for his job, he was out on disability for 4 months. However, soon afterward a radiologist I knew had it done, and he only took 1 day off and then was back at work, not complaining, and not taking strong pain killers. My hubby is a big guy, and it was hard on him, but he's able to work fine now. He has also had cervical spinal fusion, and the rotator cuff was worse for him, oddly enough.
Husband and I have dog and cat instead!
Kids...no thank you! Decided at around 12-13 or so that I didn't want any. I'm 30 now and haven't changed my mind and don't plan to.
I AM SO MAD AT HUSBAND
I am so mad with this man. Last night he made a comment that all I have to do on my job is sit on my A_ _ and stare at a computer screen. He thinks this job is cushy. I transcribe every foreign doctor known to man for 8-10 hours 5-6 days a week, achieve OVER my line counts and bring home more money than he does and I work from home. What in the world does he think gives him the right to talk down to me? Even though I love it, this is one of the most taxing jobs I have ever had in my life. The mental drain is incomprehensible at times. I was so mad when he came up with that, I would have thrown him out if he would have had anywhere else to go!
mad at husband
Do what I do..i put him in my chair with my own keyboard, a set of headphones and told him i would be back in 30 minutes. And I gave him one of my best enunciating docs to boot. Needless to say....no more sit on my a** comments any more. I put the son in the chair too. Good luck.
Which one, the husband or dog?
He, he!
What do you do when your husband says
He does not love you anymore after 10 years of marriage and 3 kids? He left once about 3 years ago, but came back saying he missed us and loved me and that he was just going through a tough time and he knew he was making a bad choice. I thought we were okay, not smart of me, then he started getting distant and grumpy all the time again, and he told me last night that he tried really hard these last 3 years, mostly for our kids sake and because he cares about me and does not want to leave me high and dry, but he does not love me and is not happy with me. He says we have nothing in common anymore, which we really didn't in the first place, but it was okay until recently.
I don't know what to do. All 3 kids are extremely close to their dad, and he loves them so much, but I feel I should move to where my parents are (next town 20 miles away) but it will be harder for him to see them and also rent is so much higher for housing there. I just feel like I want to be closer to my family because here, I have NO ONE. I moved here because it was his hometown and he was happy. I also have the kids in preschool here, again cheaper than in the town I want to go to. My son will be in first grade and needs speech therapy for developmental delay and I like the people who have been working with him as they know his history. Am I being selfish wanting to take them away from here? I am lost and don't know what to do. Thanks for listening. 
What do you do when husband...
Ditto totally trose. Permanently CLOSE his door except when dealing with/talking about children. Work hard at your job, totally concentrate on YOUR life and family. God is your refuge..will keep you safe and won't lead you wrong. You are strong (else you wouldn't be an mtmomof3) ... you can do this. Will remember you in my prayers.
husband
he sounds like a pig... i say move on
My husband will be right over! LOL!
xx
Is my husband
Because I think we are married to the same guy. Here's my rule: I don't tell him everything, but when asked, I tell the truth. Except when I buy my son an $80 pair of shoes, I shave a few bucks off. Other than that I tell the truth. I know how you feel though. When he comes home if I hear squealing tires on the driveway or the door slams just right, I think, "Uh-oh. What did I do now?"
Is there anyone who has a husband...
like mine...he is an adult and acts like one, he respects what I do for a living, thanks me for working as hard as I do, would never expect me to do everything around the house without him helping out, and is generally a fabulous guy. Sounds like a lot of women are married to self-centered whiners who think THEIR job is the important one. I truly am blessed!
My husband...
I was going to post something similar to this...reading these threads about jerk husbands makes me sooo very grateful for mine. He's handsome, sexy, funny...works doggone hard for us so I can work PT, and still helps around the house in the evenings after work. Guess that's why I've kept him for 20 years---today!!! 
Oh, did I mention he's the bestest dad ever (as our DS puts it)...I could go on and on, but I won't...I am sorry for those who are not blessed with a wonderful man, it truly is a gift!
why the MIL and not your husband?
You are going after the wrong person. Your husband should be beside you all the way 100%. It is his job to talk/deal with his family. If he doesn't or won't, you've got a bigger problem with him than with the outlaws.
Your husband should say something
You are to cleave to husband and wife. If the MIL is not going to handle the situation your husband should definately stand up for you and say if you dont show some respect to my wife stay away. I have a SIL that does not like me either because she married into the family first and thinks I stole some of her thunder, but thank goodness my husband stands up for me. The MIL probably wants to keep peace that is how mine is, so I would talk to your husband about getting the situation resolved. Some people can be so dumb to act that way. Good luck, hope things get better.
What did your husband say about it?
xx
ex-husband
Well, Pammy,
I think you would fit right in with me and my friends' "board." We meet once a week and "discuss things." We all share the blessing of an ex-husband except one. Maybe ex is just so blissfully happy he forgot to tell you, or maybe he is just TOO CHICKEN - you think. In any case, the "board" meets tomorrow night. I'll be thinking of you.
LOL! My husband said she was just doing her job. It was probably on sm
the paper! LOL
My husband became an RN at age 43.
He thought he was too old and not smart enough because he did poorly in school. Not true! He certainly wasn't the oldest in his classes. Go for it!
Well, it is for me because my husband
is a whiz at navigating, and he can't understand my problem AT ALL. My problem is not just at night - it's all the time. I never worried about it as a kid. I was just one of those passengers that paid no attention to how we got anywhere, but no bid deal when the city is laid out in a grid. Then we moved to the South, where there is no such thing as a logical grid, and instead of being able to see for long distances and get your bearings, you are hemmed in by trees. I love trees, but must they be so dense you can't see through them??
Oh, and if you're downtown you have to pay attention to which are one-way streets. What a nightmare for a navigationally challenged woman. I can hardly wait to have Magellan on my side. DH says this model can even adapt if you take a wrong turn. Yeah!
Husband gets mad
Send him back home to his mother and let her deal with him. I would show him the door. My husband has total respect for me and the fact that I work at home. He just told his 2 children that coming to our house for Christmas on Friday the 21st will not work and that they have to come Saturday after 3:00 p.m. because I work at home and that isn't fair to me to have a house full of children and grandchildren (all step by the way) while I'm trying to work. They live 2-1/2 hours away and will be staying overnight and we are celebrating our Christmas with his side of the family Sat/Sun before Christmas. He has never and better never, if he knows what's good for him, refer to me as a _itch. I'm always referred to as "baby" or "babe". He does a lot around the house, inside and out, to help me as do I because I am a very neat/clean person and like my entire house, cupboards and closets kept that way. He cleans up after himself and last but not least, he is not a "slob" in the bathroom. God love him.
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