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Agree, but there will always be young moms who want to be home

Posted By: with kids and nothing wrong with that. Just little on 2008-09-14
In Reply to: we are definitely obsolete, and hanging on sm - Oh yeah


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Stay-at-home moms
I have never understood how someone can stay at home with kids and do MT. I always had to give it my total concentration. I have 5 kids (all grown and married) -- and I never would have attempted to stay home with just one kid. There's too much of a chance for mistakes. The job deserves total concentration and perfection. There will always be some problems with understanding what a doc says, but the MT should give the job her best.
Who said it could? That IS the point and the reason a lot of moms do this from home!
We are happy doing it all from home! Why do YOU have a problem when our families and employers do not? Move on and attack your next post, please!
Some of us stay at home moms need the money too.
Just because I stay home with the kids, it doesn't mean I am working just for extra cash. My family is dependent on my income. I bring in the majority of our family's income with MT. Staying home for me is an added benefit since I am saving $1000 a month in childcare, which is money my family really needs rather than paying it out to someone else. Please, don't judge all SAHMs equally. Some of us do value our career choice and work hard to support our families.
to those of you who have young kids at home for summer

As I understand, daycare is a touchy subject here but I am looking for some opinions.  I have been MTing for 10 years now part time.  During that time I had my 3 kids.  With the PT hours it worked out great.  Now not too long ago I started FT (8 hrs/day). This has been since the school yr started.  My older two are in school all day.  My youngest is 2 and goes to the neighbors house. With summer coming all three will be home.  Its tough because they are 10, 8, 2, the older two argue constantly it seems.  I feel bad to have them have to take care of their 2 yr old sibling on summer break.  They all go in different directions.  I am weighing my options on what to do.  Anyone else in this situation or have any suggestions? If I were putting less hours in I would have no prob.  I understand a lot of you are able to do this with no prob, but it just doesn't work in my house unfortunately.

It is difficult to work at home and watch young children.
Don't take that as a slam because I had to do it, too. I got up before they did and worked for an hour or two, worked during their afternoon naps, worked after they went to bed at night, and worked a little bit in the morning while they were playing or watching Blues Clues. It wasn't fulltime, but it felt like I was chained to my computer desk from the moment I got up to the moment I went to bed.

I actually blockaded my kids in the living room with me using big plastic toyboxes or baby gates while I worked so they wouldn't escape. Lock the doors to the house and put cowbells on them so you can hear if they try to escape. If not cowbells, use those little battery operated buzzers that go off when the connection is broken. Don't wear headphones but listen through the speakers. Pay a neighborhood 'tween or older sibling $1 or more an hour to entertain the young kids after school while you're there. No job is worth the risk of your child getting into something tragic.

I was fortunate in that my kids were good about entertaining themselves for short periods of time, but certainly not for an 8-hour shift all at once. My niece and nephew are nothing like that. If they don't have your full attention, they fight and get into things. One time while I was babysitting them, I was making dinner in the kitchen. My 3 y.o. niece managed to untape the knob and turn off our water heater, drop the cordless phone into the toilet, and climb out the dog door into subzero weather in less than 5 minutes. She's still a holy terror 3 years later, but I refuse to babysit her any more.
I agree wholeheartedly. Your kids are only young once. nm
I agree with everything you are saying as far as going home, but......
If Natalee went away to college in the fall, would she have her mother to watch over her every decision and if something happened to her, that makes it her mother's fault for sending her to college, where everyone knows there is partying and drinking going on????
I agree . . . if you can pull that job home,
that would be your best bet.
I agree... working from home is almost a crutch

What about birthmothers?  I am one of those.


I agree...working at home with children is possible just very hard...
I have a 9-year-old and an 18-month-old and I wake up early in the morning before the kids wake up and work and then work some more during my daughter's nap...there are days I want to pull my hair out but my children don't suffer and neither does my job...thank goodness my company is flexible otherwise I couldn't do it...
My take on single moms

This is not meant to start any arguing between anyone.  This is just my outlook.  I was raised by a single mom.  Through no choice of her own, my father decided to end their marriage to be with another woman.  I was 5 when we were kicked out of the only home we ever knew with nowhere to go.  We had to live with some friends of hers for 3 months while she saved up money to get us a place to live.  She was a nurse and worked her butt off 7 nights a week, working 60 to  70 hours a week to put food in my mouth and clothes on my back.  She went without, didnt ever have nice clothes, didnt have a social life, was the sole supporter and had to be a mom and a dad to me.  She was everything to me and what she sacrificed for me she did willingly and lovingly.  She gave up everything for herself so that I could have a bright future. 

I saw what my mom went through as a single mom.  There was no support there when the pipes broke, the car wouldnt start and she couldnt get to work, if her child was ill, if she were ill.  There was no second income, nobody to lean on. 

Through all her struggles raising me, she never was bitter and never complained about being a single mom.  But I feel that any single mother out there trying to raise children to be all they can, at the same time solely supporting the family should be regarded with a little respect.  Look how hard it is in this day to make it even as a married couple with kids. It is hard. 

If you havent walked down that road, you will never imagine how hard it is.  I think some compassion is due to that lady and her children.  Maybe not just because she is a single mom, but because at some point in our own walk, we may need some compassion sometime ourselves. 

What about moms doing the same with little boys?
Ya know that's done more than the former!
Any single moms out there?

Hi all.  I'm hoping there are a few single moms out there who can give me some advice.  I have two children, ages 15 and 11.

Background:  I divorced my husband in June.  Everything was going well financially until I lost my Independent Contractor position unexpectedly in October.  I could not find any work for a month and had no savings.

Now, I come to find out my ex will be dropping all medical coverage this spring.  He will be self-employed at that time and have no access to insurance.

AS OF THIS SPRING, my financial status looks bleak.  I have no savings, no retirement, no medical insurance and no life insurance.  I'm totally lost here. 

I have a few options:  I could stay self-employed and buy all of my insurance, etc.  I could work when I wanted and be home with my kids, attend their school functions, and so on.

I could get a full-time MT job in an office with full benefits, etc.  However, my kids will be alone on vacations and in the summer.  They may need to forego some school functions and may need to stay at home alone when they are sick.

I've been self-employed now for almost 8 years and the kids and I are very used to it.  I hate to give it up, but, I do need to do what I have to.

Any advice?

You do what works for you and MT moms will just keep
Cause it is being done, like it or not. Take a poll on here and see just how many MTs are also mothers of young children or have been MTs when their children were young. A lot of them!!! It may not be your ideal situation, but it does work for a lot of MTs. Sorry, but it is true!
Any single moms?
 I am curious, any of you gals a single mom? I am single and I also home-school my daughter and I am just curious how everyone schedules their days. I have been doing this for a while now but am always curious as to how other singles get it done.  Thanks!
Oh yes - I have five children, however, they go off to school every morning - that is really the only way to get the bulk of my work done (although have been doing for 17 years at home). When they were younger did most of my work at night while they slept. It is not easy, as we all know "a woman's job is never done"........
Thank you... I hope all moms on..sm
staff have a happy Mothers Day also !!!!!!
Have to agree. Kids do make working at home "different" (sm)

Mine are grown, but the grandchildren occasionally are over.  The oldest one will play his Gameboy or some cube thing all day and only occasionally ask to be fed.  However, when the youngest one can't go do daycare for some reason my world is turned upside down.  The granddaughter has it in her head that when I ask her to be quiet it means come over to my desk and whisper.  All in all, it isn't too often that I have children in my house when I work.  My hat is off to those of you who do it on a regular basis, you are queens of organizational/concentration skills. 


I agree.. I would be working from home even if I didn't have anxiety attacks!
Thanks for sharing!
How many MT moms love Gymboree?

RE: I totally agree!! I work at home can came make upwards or $25+ per hour (sm)
Where outside of my home could I make that money, not have to pay gas, buy extra clothes, etc.  I am very happy right where I'm at.
Ok, moms, need your help! DD has chickenpox on the INSIDE of her mouth and on

I know I've heard of a mouth swish home remedy that can be swabbed inside the mouth to numb the area.  If anyone knows what I'm talking about, PLEASE post!

Thanks in advance,

Exhausted Mama

I CANNOT believe these Holier Than Thou wonderful moms - sm
This is absolutely ridiculous... There are crappy daycares out there, but you can certainly tell by your child's actions if it is good or bad - if they go kicking and screaming then you know they aren't having FUN.  Lady, You are doing JUST FINE....  if they love daycare and you are getting your work done, then SO WHAT... these other "wonderful moms" are SO one-sided opinionated that I would hate to see the attitude and social skills they are teaching THEIR little ones!!  YOU do the best you can for YOU and your babies...  Is this really troubling to these "wonderful moms" when they begin pre-K or Kindergarten for heaven's sake... LORD KNOWS the teachers at school don't love these children like YOU do... puhleeeze!!  If it is a fun learning experience where they are making friends... they would RATHER be playing with friends than watching your back and listening to the rattling of the keyboard...  Sure there are companies that allow flexibility, but you have to set it to suit everyone in the mix...  To you "wonderful moms" who think that YOUR way of "NO DAYCARE" is the ONLY right way - poopoo to you.... Mommies have to do what Mommies have to do... all children are different...  my daughter I was able to keep at home... my son needed interaction with people and constant stimulation that I could not be flexible with - so he had a sitter for a few hours, then pre-K ....  he has turned out to be the brightest child you would ever meet with a vocabulary that would stun you!!  Each child is different, each family is different, each mommy is different... YOU are NOT a terrible mother for choosing this route, and I am sure your babies will grow up to be well-rounded, SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE young ladies and gentlemen...  Shame, SHAME for judging!!! 
Mine are 19 and 24, and, yes, when they want to talk, I do stop and listen. There are so many moms

out there who don't have close contact with their kids in this group, that I feel very fortunate when mine want to talk to me.  My daughter (19) and I are very close and she still lives here, and sometimes I really do have to cut it short with her.  However, my son lives away from home, and when he does stop by and wants to talk, I definitely stop and listen.   

Now, with that all being said, I definitely know what you mean about all this talking and listening cutting into the overall production for the day.  I just tack on another hour to an already long day and count my blessings that my kids and I can still talk.  Of course, if I have a deadline, I really do put a Do Not Disturb sticky note up, and they don't bother me.

Just as a side note and not to go into any details here, but my son was really into drugs and alcohol and wouldn't hold a job for about 6 or 7 years and honestly would hardly talk to me at all unless he had his hand out, wanting money.  Well, I guess I really should say that when we did talk and he wasn't asking for money, he was always lying to me to cover up what he was doing.  It was a hard road but we got through it, and I do love for him to talk to me now because I really feel like I have my son back.  So I guess I look at those interruptions a little differently.   :)

Hey, today's my moms 60th b-day, too. I got her a pair of khaki capri pants
with a purple print belt and a matching purple top along with some socks.  My teenage daughter gave her a homemade necklace made of light green stones and a shell that she got while on the beach in San Diego this summer.  My nephew gave her a dreamcatcher and the dog gave her some vanilla international coffee.  We took her to the Elephant Bar for lunch and gave her the gifts.  She had a great time and so did we.
moms? lunch cunundrum - am I a less-loving mother if I make his PB&J tonight and refrigerator it?
never too young
I don't think you are ever too young to be worried about retirement!  I wish I had worried about it sooner...  you cannot expect a retirement check from any company, but you can do something about it yourself.  Go to your local financial institutions and start your own retirement fund - just contribute a certain percentage of your check each time you are paid and no matter how many times you change jobs, keep doing it.  It is there for you - you don't lose it just because you change jobs.  But you are right to be worrying about your future - more of us should be doing that!
ah, to be so young...
...as to have never used tapes -- what a lovely feeling that must be!
I'm sorry but i think you are too young to be on this board!
Smart Young Man

Your son sounds like a very smart young man. Not many kids these days truly care about their education. They look at high school as a party/social time, and dont look into the future what so ever, and said thing is a lot of our children are not getting the guidance from home either.

My son loves to learn and loves to be challenged and with him being home schooled we are able to do so.

And one other positive note on home schooling college intrance exams have shown that home schooled kids are just as smart if not smarter than those who go to public or private schools. The one on one they get is a big big factor in that.

Best of Luck!!!!!!!

I don't see a problem if someone does it once because of (1) young age, - sm
(2) circumstances...this girl has no clue who the father is, that is clear, (3) where they are at in life...in school is no time to have a baby. She would possible drop out, not have anything but a high school diploma for the rest of her life. How do you support yourself and a baby on $15K a year? Does she have understanding parents? Will the father pay support?(she'd have to have all the guys she slept with in the time period of conception tested). Someone that that young is not cut out to have a child....I can remember very clearly how I was then, and many are just not ready for the responsibility. Yes, many see abortion as shirking your responsibility because "you play you pay"; but you have to decide what is good and right for you and your circumstances, and the only one who can make that decision is the person who has to bear and raise the child or deal with their conscious if they decide to get an abortion. It's nobody's business but theirs. I think people who purposely don't use any form of BC then just get abortion after abortion because they are too lazy to get BCPs or condoms are WRONG for doing that. But people who are (1) stupid one time (2) get raped (as my roommate was); (3) just too young, i.e. in their teens, very early 20s--- have 1 pass. If my daughter came home and was in HS or college and said she was pregnant and wanted an abortion I would support her decision. I plan on drilling it into my kids heads never to have sex w/o a condom though and hopefully they will never have an unwanted pregnangy. I suppose you think my thinking is screwy and that is fine, everyone is entitled to their opinion, that is what makes the world go around.
Wow, mine was young...
I got my daughter's ears pierced when she was 7 months old. I think I was 5 when my mom got mine pierced, and then I was 12 when I got my second holes.
Very young on both daughters - sm
Two weeks old on first daughter. One week old on second daughter.
Your young age is showing!
I remember the dictabelt, we had to mark it with chalk to know where to start it up. Talk about archaic! The times they are a'changin! (and for this part - the better!)
I don't know if you mean too young or too old. Companies

cannot legally ask you how old you are.   I quess they can get an idea of age based on work history though or if you put educational history on resume.  I'm nearly 50, but when I answer the phone I frequently have people ask to speak to my mother.  I've been offered a position with every company I've ever applied to. 

You donít sound too old with a young kid
but in my town we have a consumer person (who is a millionaire but well known to be really tight with his money), anyway he was talking about a place where he buys his glasses and only pays about $8.00 for them and these are prescription glasses. I used to wear glasses, had Lasik and now 20/30 in both eyes- in about 2001, I think. For close up work such as newspapers or books, I go to the dollar store and buy the $1.00- This is for me, not saying everyone can do this. I see no sense in paying $200.00 for a pair of glasses when you can get them much cheaper.
I used to be young and dumb but
when I came into some money, quite a bit of it, paid all my bills off. I only have my monthly bills now, utilities and such. It is a wonderful feeling but to the original post, it is here money and really if she wants to burn it, she can.
Young man, listen up.
Your a very intelligent person and you seem really mature to the world. Inside you feel like you are crumbling, I completely understand that. Remember ther is always a tomorrow and always something better out there. If you are not happy doing the work that you are doing, its not the work, there is something holding you back. You definitely need to see either a therapist or a TRAINED medical profession to talk about this with. And don't wait, do it NOW. So many times people wait and it becomes too late. You are going to be fine and God will help you through any challenges you come across. If the physicians give you medications, take it. If it has side effects, don't stop taking it, call your physician and he can put you on another medication that does not have those side effects.

This is going to be a very long and very rewarding process and you will start feeling better about yourself. Don't give up and don't listen to people who just tell you to suck it up and get a job. Obviously they have been so lucky to never have experienced depression before. I pray that you will only have the best of luck in all you do.
you are young and dumb. The nerve of you to say
why have children if you are going to put them in daycare.  When I was going to graduate school and working I became pregnant.  I didn't expect my husband to quit his job and I sure enough was going to stop graduate school my six months.  My triplets went to daycare and was fine.
working with young kids

I have been working at home since my first child was a day old and all I can say is you get used to it and so do they since they don't know any different.  I think it would be harder having them a bit older and then starting to work at home.  I took short breaks for feeding but worked during the regular work day other than that, just had the baby lying on a blanket next to my chair or in a bouncer seat or sometimes on my lap, and as he got older he started playing next to my desk.  The second time around I had twins, and well, that was a bit harder, but I fed them both at the same time and put them on the same feeding and nap schedules to maximize both work time and my sanity. 

Ya do what ya gotta do.

I was 18--so very, very young! Still married though after 31 years!

Oh, to be young again -Mondays all I want to do is crash.

However, I saw a stupid young woman on
television last night talking about outsourcing and she is so stupid. She had that only being 1% of the jobs. She needs a real lesson in this. No way is it only 1% of jobs. I just felt like coming through the TV and smacking her around a few times. LOL. These young do not understand. Maybe they will outsource her job and she will look at things differently.
What was wrong with trying to teach them when they were young?
I learned to dust, wash dishes, clean my room, etc., when I was about 5 years old, and it was part of our routine. Every week our chores would rotate and as we got old, we learned more. Same thing with cooking. You obviously let this go too long but now is the time to change it, not when you have a nervous breakdown.
SADDLE OXFORDS! I was young when I
Lady Bug and Villager were to clothesmakers of my adolesence. I remember the first 'instant poloroid'. You had to swipe the picture with this special chemical and let it dry.
Kikis just young/immature and does not...SM

Patti - give it up...not worth your time or your expertise, nor any of us well-seasoned (decades) professionals, and be sure to take some time for yourself. 

Nope! No longer consider too young. sm
Early spay or neuter (also known as "pediatric" spay/neuter) is pretty common now for shelters. It's been studied and found to be safe, and it helps keep shelters from inadvertantly contributing to the pet overpopulation proplem that they're trying to help solve. Not all vets offer it though.

Lots of websites and info. about it if you go to Google and type in "early spay neuter" but here's one:


You don't have to wait until 6 months old any more. For dogs, my vet (who is very cautious and took a long time to change his stance that they needed to be 6 months old first) likes to spay or neuter at 4 months of age, because it's after they've had all their shots, yet it's before (with females) they've gone into heat/estrus for the first time (health benefit to that - see above website - don't wait with your female dogs! ;O) For cats, I don't know if they get this same benefit from being spayed before their first heat cycle. One reason my vet changed it to 4 months is because he said he's seeing more dogs go into heat earlier than they used to. (Good diet = maturing earlier, like people? His theory, anyway.)

BTW, and I mean this is the nicest way (not trying to be the spelling police! LOL) it's spelled "spayed" rather than "spade" in this instance. :o)
I work around my kids. Mine are not as young as yours
but even when I had babies I worked before they got up, worked during nap time, worked a little after dinner when DH could watch them.   With my last one I put him in a Mother's Morning Out program for 15 hours/week at a church 2 miles from our house for 2 years during the school year.   I'm fortunate I have flexible hours that I can do that.   
I was at the store one day when a family with young kids came out.

The kids were fooling around in the parking lot and chasing each other around.  One of the boys, who was approximately 10 years old, jumped up and ran across the hood of a parked car in his cowboy boots.  He totally scratched up and dinged the hood of the car.  The owner, a pastor at a local church, told the parents about it.  The father denied it, then he tried to hit the pastor.  The police were called.  I took the car license number and testified as a witness.  These people are just a prime example of the poor excuses for parents that our country is full of.  The parents should have been publicly caned.

My parents would have beat my butt with a leather belt if I had dared touch someone else's property.  They never had to, though, because they told us how to behave and enforced it.  I'm not saying I never got spanked with a hand when I was young, but I knew it was a potential consequence.  My own kids know if they dare to damage someone else's property, they will pay for the repairs and be punished.  They are too old to spank, however, especially since they're bigger than me!  LOL  My kids also know what it's like to have their property stolen or damaged by other people.

My basset is not a couch potato like most, but he is young. nm