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What about moms doing the same with little boys?

Posted By: Hmmmmm? on 2005-10-06
In Reply to: it is inappropriate. - sm

Ya know that's done more than the former!


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Moms

What about birthmothers?  I am one of those.


Lynda


My take on single moms

This is not meant to start any arguing between anyone.  This is just my outlook.  I was raised by a single mom.  Through no choice of her own, my father decided to end their marriage to be with another woman.  I was 5 when we were kicked out of the only home we ever knew with nowhere to go.  We had to live with some friends of hers for 3 months while she saved up money to get us a place to live.  She was a nurse and worked her butt off 7 nights a week, working 60 to  70 hours a week to put food in my mouth and clothes on my back.  She went without, didnt ever have nice clothes, didnt have a social life, was the sole supporter and had to be a mom and a dad to me.  She was everything to me and what she sacrificed for me she did willingly and lovingly.  She gave up everything for herself so that I could have a bright future. 


I saw what my mom went through as a single mom.  There was no support there when the pipes broke, the car wouldnt start and she couldnt get to work, if her child was ill, if she were ill.  There was no second income, nobody to lean on. 


Through all her struggles raising me, she never was bitter and never complained about being a single mom.  But I feel that any single mother out there trying to raise children to be all they can, at the same time solely supporting the family should be regarded with a little respect.  Look how hard it is in this day to make it even as a married couple with kids. It is hard. 


If you havent walked down that road, you will never imagine how hard it is.  I think some compassion is due to that lady and her children.  Maybe not just because she is a single mom, but because at some point in our own walk, we may need some compassion sometime ourselves. 


Any single moms out there?

Hi all.  I'm hoping there are a few single moms out there who can give me some advice.  I have two children, ages 15 and 11.


Background:  I divorced my husband in June.  Everything was going well financially until I lost my Independent Contractor position unexpectedly in October.  I could not find any work for a month and had no savings.


Now, I come to find out my ex will be dropping all medical coverage this spring.  He will be self-employed at that time and have no access to insurance.


AS OF THIS SPRING, my financial status looks bleak.  I have no savings, no retirement, no medical insurance and no life insurance.  I'm totally lost here. 


I have a few options:  I could stay self-employed and buy all of my insurance, etc.  I could work when I wanted and be home with my kids, attend their school functions, and so on.


I could get a full-time MT job in an office with full benefits, etc.  However, my kids will be alone on vacations and in the summer.  They may need to forego some school functions and may need to stay at home alone when they are sick.


I've been self-employed now for almost 8 years and the kids and I are very used to it.  I hate to give it up, but, I do need to do what I have to.


Any advice?


You do what works for you and MT moms will just keep
Cause it is being done, like it or not. Take a poll on here and see just how many MTs are also mothers of young children or have been MTs when their children were young. A lot of them!!! It may not be your ideal situation, but it does work for a lot of MTs. Sorry, but it is true!
Any single moms?
 I am curious, any of you gals a single mom? I am single and I also home-school my daughter and I am just curious how everyone schedules their days. I have been doing this for a while now but am always curious as to how other singles get it done.  Thanks!
SINGLE MOMS
Oh yes - I have five children, however, they go off to school every morning - that is really the only way to get the bulk of my work done (although have been doing for 17 years at home). When they were younger did most of my work at night while they slept. It is not easy, as we all know "a woman's job is never done"........
Thank you... I hope all moms on..sm
staff have a happy Mothers Day also !!!!!!
How many MT moms love Gymboree?

Stay-at-home moms
I have never understood how someone can stay at home with kids and do MT. I always had to give it my total concentration. I have 5 kids (all grown and married) -- and I never would have attempted to stay home with just one kid. There's too much of a chance for mistakes. The job deserves total concentration and perfection. There will always be some problems with understanding what a doc says, but the MT should give the job her best.
Ok, moms, need your help! DD has chickenpox on the INSIDE of her mouth and on

I know I've heard of a mouth swish home remedy that can be swabbed inside the mouth to numb the area.  If anyone knows what I'm talking about, PLEASE post!


Thanks in advance,


Exhausted Mama


I CANNOT believe these Holier Than Thou wonderful moms - sm
This is absolutely ridiculous... There are crappy daycares out there, but you can certainly tell by your child's actions if it is good or bad - if they go kicking and screaming then you know they aren't having FUN.  Lady, You are doing JUST FINE....  if they love daycare and you are getting your work done, then SO WHAT... these other "wonderful moms" are SO one-sided opinionated that I would hate to see the attitude and social skills they are teaching THEIR little ones!!  YOU do the best you can for YOU and your babies...  Is this really troubling to these "wonderful moms" when they begin pre-K or Kindergarten for heaven's sake... LORD KNOWS the teachers at school don't love these children like YOU do... puhleeeze!!  If it is a fun learning experience where they are making friends... they would RATHER be playing with friends than watching your back and listening to the rattling of the keyboard...  Sure there are companies that allow flexibility, but you have to set it to suit everyone in the mix...  To you "wonderful moms" who think that YOUR way of "NO DAYCARE" is the ONLY right way - poopoo to you.... Mommies have to do what Mommies have to do... all children are different...  my daughter I was able to keep at home... my son needed interaction with people and constant stimulation that I could not be flexible with - so he had a sitter for a few hours, then pre-K ....  he has turned out to be the brightest child you would ever meet with a vocabulary that would stun you!!  Each child is different, each family is different, each mommy is different... YOU are NOT a terrible mother for choosing this route, and I am sure your babies will grow up to be well-rounded, SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE young ladies and gentlemen...  Shame, SHAME for judging!!! 
Who said it could? That IS the point and the reason a lot of moms do this from home!
We are happy doing it all from home! Why do YOU have a problem when our families and employers do not? Move on and attack your next post, please!
Agree, but there will always be young moms who want to be home
nmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Some of us stay at home moms need the money too.
Just because I stay home with the kids, it doesn't mean I am working just for extra cash. My family is dependent on my income. I bring in the majority of our family's income with MT. Staying home for me is an added benefit since I am saving $1000 a month in childcare, which is money my family really needs rather than paying it out to someone else. Please, don't judge all SAHMs equally. Some of us do value our career choice and work hard to support our families.
Mine are 19 and 24, and, yes, when they want to talk, I do stop and listen. There are so many moms

out there who don't have close contact with their kids in this group, that I feel very fortunate when mine want to talk to me.  My daughter (19) and I are very close and she still lives here, and sometimes I really do have to cut it short with her.  However, my son lives away from home, and when he does stop by and wants to talk, I definitely stop and listen.   


Now, with that all being said, I definitely know what you mean about all this talking and listening cutting into the overall production for the day.  I just tack on another hour to an already long day and count my blessings that my kids and I can still talk.  Of course, if I have a deadline, I really do put a Do Not Disturb sticky note up, and they don't bother me.


Just as a side note and not to go into any details here, but my son was really into drugs and alcohol and wouldn't hold a job for about 6 or 7 years and honestly would hardly talk to me at all unless he had his hand out, wanting money.  Well, I guess I really should say that when we did talk and he wasn't asking for money, he was always lying to me to cover up what he was doing.  It was a hard road but we got through it, and I do love for him to talk to me now because I really feel like I have my son back.  So I guess I look at those interruptions a little differently.   :)


They look like boys. That's why the OP
liked Jude Law.  Boyish charm.   That's why I think they are a bit effeminate.  They never got past boyhood. 
THREE boys.
I also tried eliminating sugar, reducing caffeine, exercise, and even going braless because I heard the underwire could be causing it.  Nothing has helped so far.  There's also a website out there where women are pulling together because doctors aren't informing us of the side effects of tubal ligation.
I have boys, too.

They've had girls chasing after them since kindergarten.  The notes from girls that I find in the laundry were just too much.  I love you, I want to marry you.  Goodness!  Last year, my 11 y.o.b. had a girl threaten to kill herself if he didn't "go out" with her.  He took it really hard because we had just lost a family member to suicide, and he felt like he had to do what this girl told him to do or she would die.  She even told him her parents had lost custody of her and she had to go live in another state to be adopted.  Compulsive liar.  I had to go in to the school and nip it in the bud with the teachers, school counselor and principal.


I told my boys they would not be dating or "going out" until they were in high school.  Even with that, my oldest boy had a girl who wanted to sneak around behind her mother's back and lie to see him because she wasn't allowed to date.  I told my son no way, you're either straight up with the girl's parents and introduce yourself to them, or you don't date.  He told her that, and she dropped him like a hot potato because she didn't want to date an honest boy.


BUT, not ALL little boys do this.....
mom of 3, soccer mom, basebal mom, footbal mom, teacher's helper, preschool daycare provider, 2 brothers, 20+ male cousins and NEVER saw anything like this.
Then why are they after little BOYS???
nm
Being there for my boys
You nailed it! When I first started, it was purely by accident, trained on the job (1987), and way long before being married/kids. People would say to me "you can do that at home cant you"? Oh no way I said! I never expected to even stay in this profession, I was going to college. But then when I found myself having my kids at 36/37, I realized I did not want to got back to work, so the same hospital I worked for hired me to help at night from home. Who would have thought that my transitional job would be my savior so that I could afford to stay home with my boys. It was truly a blessing, and sometimes when it seems unfair, it's beats having to wake my little guys (4&5) and take them to daycare for 9 hours. Would not trade it for nothing!
when my boys were little they use sm
to come to my office and they said they also said mom sounded like a machine gun typing. The old wheelwriter typewriters, I really did like the sound. It relaxes me for some reason!
Hey, today's my moms 60th b-day, too. I got her a pair of khaki capri pants
with a purple print belt and a matching purple top along with some socks.  My teenage daughter gave her a homemade necklace made of light green stones and a shell that she got while on the beach in San Diego this summer.  My nephew gave her a dreamcatcher and the dog gave her some vanilla international coffee.  We took her to the Elephant Bar for lunch and gave her the gifts.  She had a great time and so did we.
ALL little boys do that. They think it's funny.

Boys' language and social skills are also slower to develop than girls.  Wait until they have a name writing contest outside in the snow on the school playground.  Speaking from experience, sometimes teachers have personality clashes with students and do pick on them.


No, ALL little boys don't do that. Watch your
Yes, I have a son.
My experience with my own boys
was to teach them the fine art of respect and acknowledgement in such events.

For a family member that was not distant in relation, I had them attend. They did not have to approach/view the casket, but they attended. They learned to sign the guestbook. They learned how to order flowers, sign cards, and I spent time showing them the funeral/visitation process.

I had a class in high school on death and dying and it taught me quite a bit I was unaware of.

Most of all, I wanted them to be prepared and as comfortable as possible with their roles and expectations placed on them when these painful situations happen.


My boys were 3 1/2 and my girls were 2.

Cheerios in the toilet worked for me.  SINK THOSE BATTLESHIPS!!  :)


But both boys were 3 1/2 at least and when I was just about ready to give up, they just started using the bathroom as if nobody had ever told them a thing.


Pressuring and scolding are the 2 worst things you can do.  Just be laid back and all of a sudden one day, they are diaper free.  None of my 4 have ever had an accident or wet the bed since the day it kind of dawned on them.  Sort of like the day they learn to ride a bike without training wheels. :)


This too shall pass like water under the bridge.  No pun intended.  Now I'm buying diapers for my grandkids.


moms? lunch cunundrum - am I a less-loving mother if I make his PB&J tonight and refrigerator it?
x
Those boys need to be exposed to camping LOL!!
x
20 and still married with 3 boys, 25 years later nm
//
plus 2 (monsters)boys, 4 and 2 at home
nm
I agree that boys are not any easier.
I have raised 2 girls and am now raising a 13-yo boy and 2 11-yo girls. I think boys are worse, although the girls are no picnic.
Well, I have 3 rambuncious (sp), bull headed boys. sm
Of course, they knew everything then and know everything now. I couldn't pick their friends but boy I sure pounded into their heads that as long as their friends were at my house, they abided by my rules and my boys were responsible for their friends' behaviors. If their friends acted out of line, my boys were responsible for telling them to get the hell out--didn't have much trouble when I gave the kids that responsibility. Sometimes their friends weren't the cream of the crop or came from not very well to do families, but they always acted appropriately at our house, then and now. Have earned a lot of respect from my kids' friends that way. Sometimes, they spent more time at our house than they did their own. My kids weren't angels but they didn't turn out to be felons or junkies or drunks, either.
Now, now,. No gold stars for little girls and boys
who have an ugly attitude. You might have to sit in the corner.

Hahahahahahahaha

Think this through. 5 hours in a car with two boys aged 2 and 4? I think your husband might be
on the right wavelength here. By the time you get there, you would all be tired and crabby, he has been working 13 days straight so he is probably tired and crabby and then you have to do the reverse trip in just a day? Maybe if the boys were 12 and 14 but at 2 and 4, the 5-hour drive could turn into 7 hours with stops.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. My husband goes fishing with the guys for a week each summer and I think it does us both good. It is like a vacation at home too and we do goofy things like eating cake for dinner just to make it "fun" and not a whine fest for the kids.

Be grateful that you have a husband who obviously has a great job and who is thinking about you (although it might not seem like it).

Take the 5 hours each way and do something fun with the boys instead :)

Signed,

Happily Married but not joined at the hip
I forgot the bathroom - me and I have 3 boys (10, 5, 2) and a husband - YUK!!

nm


And I thank the mothers of boys who have raised them to respect women.
dd
Blind boys are being taught MT now in Indonesia or someplace like that. Was
s
I think the boys did a much better job than the girls -- I really like Taylor's style of singing
let's face it, I just enjoy everything about Ace!  For the girls, I like Paris, and what's not to like about Kelly?
I had a family doctor who was a D.O. - delivered my boys 38+ years ago


Following the bible is a form of repression. Why do you think priests sleep with little boys?

Your taste runs to slender effeminate boys. That's the way it is and how Jude Law
makes a "living" as well as Justin Timberlake.  There are those who aren't attracted to manly men and enjoy seeing a pretty boy.  BTW, Toby Keith has some excellent tight jeans and long legs and I don't see doughboy but it is relative if you prefer the looks of Jude Law/Justin Timberlake/Leonardo DeCaprio.  And he appeared w/o his hat on many times.   Not bald by any stretch like Garth Brooks.  But having said that, Garth Brooks, dough-boy and balding was hot in his day.
I think I used Maalox when my kids were small. Poor things, both youngest boys had them everywhere
It was 100 degrees out that year. They spent a week in the house in the tub with Aveeno and more Benadryl than I think they had in their entire lives.
didn't mention boys or girls - but what about Dorothy, scarecrow, tin man and the lion from SM
Wizard of Oz.  I
Other. June and Ward Cleaver with 2 well-behaved boys! I love my life... nm
nm
Pasha (Appassionata), Thor and Jazz, all 3 Rotties--1 girl, 2 boys. nm
xx
LOL...you lucky duck! My boys go back to school on the 29th and I can't wait! I luv 'me to p
d