Weren't they. I kept thinking someone was going to yank the cord...sm

Subject: Thinking is
> dangerous
>
>
>
>
>
> It started out innocently enough.
>
> I began to think at parties now and then -- to loosen up.
>
> Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than
> just a
> social thinker.
>
> I began to think alone -- to relax, I told myself -- but I knew it
> wasn't
> true.
>
> Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking
> all
> the time.
>
> That was when things began to sour at home. One evening I had turned off
> the
> TV
> and asked my wife about the meaning of life.
>
> She spent that night at her mother's.
>
> I began to think on the job.
>
> I knew that thinking and em! ployment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself.
>
> I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka.
>
> I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, What is it
> exactly
> we are doing here?
>
> One day the boss called me in.
>
> He said, Listen, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your
> thinking
> has
> become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have
> to
> find another job.
>
> This gave me a lot to think about.
>
> I came home early after my conversation with the boss.
>
> Honey, I confessed, I've been thinking...
>
> I know you've been thinking, she said, and I want a divorce!
>
> But Honey, surely it's not that serious.
>
> It is serious, she said, lower lip aquiver. You think as much as
&! gt; college
> professors, and college professors don't ! make any money, so if you keep on
> thinking, we won't have any money!
>
> That's a faulty syllogism, I said impatiently.
>
> She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to
> deal
> with
> the emotional drama.
>
> I'm going to the library, I snarled as I stomped out the door.
>
> I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche.
>
> I roared into the parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big
> glass
> doors...
>
> They didn't open. The library was closed.
>
> To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that
> night.
>
> Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster
> caught
> my
> eye.
>
> Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life? it asked.
>
> You probably recognize that line.! It comes from the standard Thinker's
> Anonymous poster. Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker.
>
> I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational
> video;
> last week it was Porky's. Then we share experiences about how we avoided
> thinking since the last meeting.
>
> I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home.
>
> Life just seemed...easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.
>
> I think the road to recovery is nearly complete for me.
>
> Today, I registered to vote as a Republican...