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Hate to break your heart

Posted By: New Englander on 2008-06-23
In Reply to: Would you think someone was lying if they said this? (sm) - Gullible?MT

When I read the first part I thought that was an odd thing to say, especially since he keeps saying it. I would say to him "why wouldn't I believe it and why do you have to keep asking if I believe you". I don't know much about the relationship (long distance-local). If (and I'm just assuming this is an if) he is long distance he might have a wife or girlfriend. You can't trust what he says if you can't see the situation with your own eyes. If he hasn't called there is definitely something wrong (hence I would start to believe he has another girlfirend or wife). Have you ever been to this persons home, seen where he lives, or any of that?

The second part of the message is what bothered me. When someone borrows money no matter how much you care about them no matter how much they borrow they should pay it back. I know you care a lot about this person, but to lend someone money is a very dangerous thing. I know from experience.

We loaned my BIL some money about 4 years ago. We helped him get out of some payday loans and I went through his budget very very carefully and spent almost 3 weeks constructing a budget for him to live on to including a separate bill for paying us back (a certain amount each month), but this budget also included some "fun money" for him - not a lot but would give him the means to go to a movie or grab a pizza once a week. Anyway...here it is 4 years later and he has only paid us back less than half of what he ows us. He keeps giving us the line "I'm good for it" "I love you guys a lot" "You know you can trust me" "I won't let you down". I keep getting these "lines" from him (and he's my BIL). My point I am saying is this is my BIL and he keeps giving me the same type of lines it sound like this person is giving you.

Please be very very cautious with this relationship and just remember, there are hundreds of other fish in the sea who you will meet and will fall in love with you and won't have to add "I hope you believe that".

So, I hate to break your heart but I think he is taking advantage of your kindness and has no intentions of anything further. If I was in your shoes I'd send this person an email ditching him, and remove the email from my contact list and have no further contact with him.

My DH's motto that he keeps instilling into me for the past 25 years.... "Trust No One".


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I am sure in would break my MILs heart too but - sm
we spent the day up there for TG; my FIL spent about 10 minutes watching them play outside, then retreated to his recliner and read a book the whole day; my MIL spent absolutely no time with them at all; after all her whining that she doesn't get to see the kids much, and no she was not busy in the kitchen for the 8 hours we were there. I pointed this out to my DH because I don't think he believed me when I said the times I have gone there to spent the night there with the kids, they barely interact with them. So I am sick of their whining (my In-laws) about not spending enough time with the kids.....my MIL couldn't resist a couple digs either but I just ignored them, maybe if she had actually played with them I'd bring them up more...my BIL actually played with them most of the time....
Would break my heart if my grandkids didn't want to come over. (sm)
Actually they truly love to take turns spending the night and being the "only one" for a while.

I don't think you should force them either. They can visit without having to be stuck there spending the night.

She should re-evaluate herself and wonder why they don't love to come see granny.
hate to break the news but...
if I saw something like I did back in the 80s today I stil could not take a picture, cellphone wise, camera or otherwise. don’t use my cell for pictures, don’t own a camera (movie or otherwise) - I guess would just have to keep to myself as I have done for those past years, nothing to document except my word.
attitude: going to the Christmas program with hate in your heart. More important you watch that,sm
than your kids still believe in a mythical fat man who brings presents. 
Time for a long, uninterrupted heart to heart. Sorry to hear
s
Well...I took a break for a while but... (sm)
I left the field for a year and came back. It does get old but...so did my other job. And the other job had other problems too - you're 5 minutes late, fill out a little pink form, etc., etc. and the commute was awful. And then there are the office politics. Basically, I try to find exciting things to do when I am not working and I limit my hours. Even though I work at home, I have pretty well set hours and I try not to do other than those. I find that the earlier I get up and get going, even though I am not a morning person, the earlier I finish and the better I am able to focus while I'm working. All I can say is, the grass isn't greener anywhere else - There is a different set or problems with every job. BUT My ass is also ever-expanding haha!! And a break in the sunshine is always nice!! You don't get to do that when you work in most offices.
Oh cut me a break?
Are you kidding me?     This kind of stuff happens all of the time even when you are WATCHING them!  Get a life!     To the OP, this kind of stuff happens all of the time.  You are doing the right thing being at home with your child.  As if.....  Boy just when you think you've seen it all on this board!   Someone comes on with a one-liner-NM statement like that.   
As a kid I would break them
and roll the mercury around in my hand. Little did I know that I could "glow" one of these days by doing that.
Break myself from
visiting sites like these after every 2 charts are typed.
GIVE ME A BREAK
If she can afford a Cadillac Escalade, then why is she on food stamps?  This has nothing to do people who DESERVE the aid given to them in this country via food stamps or anything else.  It's about the people who lie and abuse the system and YOU and I PAY for it in our taxes.  Open your mind.....not your legs!!
Here's how we break down our $1000....sm
4 of us living in the house receive gifts totaling no more than $110 (including Santa gifts), so that's $440.

My husband's parents and my mom receive gifts that $50-75, so we allot $225 for the parent gifts.

My husband and I have 4 siblings & spouses between us and they receive gifts that cost no more than $25 each. That's $200.

We have 4 nephews/nieces and they're allotted $20/gift, so that's $80.

The remaining $55 is spent on the little $5 gifts for teachers, close friends and neighbors... usually we bake things or pick up nick-nack things to keep it under $5. Any gift that comes under budget has that surplus added to the gifts for us "basic 4" - which helps my husband and kids focus on watching sale ads and surfing the net for deals for decent gifts.

This year I got some incredible deals on eBay. For my husband I bought a brand new with tags still on it Ralph Lauren suit for $50, including the shipping, and another brand new suit with tags on it for $35 including shipping. For our parents we got a deal with Omaha Steaks where for $60 including shipping they receive a bunch of steaks, pork chops, potatoes and all sorts of stuff. I'm on their e-mail list and when we get notices of the "super sales" we buy most of our meat from them as many of their sales make it cheaper than the stores, and the quality of the food is superb.
Something else needs to break on your computer.
Bake him another pie! :)
What a nice break!

Only 24 hours though, seriously?!  That's just too danged short! 


I went there maybe 10 years ago and went to the keys...oh wow just gorgeous.  LOVE the fact that there are a ton of "tiki" bars serving fruity drinks almost everywhere down there.  We took our rental car and DROVE right on Daytona Beach!  I dunno if you can still do that or not but it was incredibly fun!


When it was time to go home I actually cried.  On the drive back to the airport we pulled over some place and took a walk through some sort of boardwalk in a swamp and saw a few spiders that were as big as my head.  I got totally heebed out and deciced it was really time to go back to New England, cause that just ain't right. 


Glad you had a safe trip and welcome back!     


 


My drink on break
I think today at the mall I will order something to drink that I hate instead of getting what I like. That way I can complain. Same theory as continuing to read what one considers immature and boring in lieu of just going on and developing your own constructive topics that you like.
PJs first thing until my 1st break...
:))
Give her a break.
From her posts it sounds to me like she is just very concerned for her friend. I take it you don't have anyone that you're that close too. I have a best friend who lives across the street. We talk all the time and see each other almost every day. If all of sudden she just stopped for whatever reason I'd be very concerned. And yes, I have a life. To the OP, just keep being a friend. Hopefully once the baby is older and she starts to feel better, things will get back to normal. I don't see anything wrong with at least sending a card.
I'm on my way! Have to wait for break! NM
xx
MIL is lonely, cut her a break! nm
.
Give me a break........
You are upset by her calling a dog stupid?  Goodness gracious people.  Someone complains about their elderly mother with medical problems being bothered by dogs and all you can say is to not call the dog stupid.  Sheesh.  Some people just amaze me. 
How do I break this cycle?
I admit I have spoiled my furbabies (3 cats) with treats and now I have to pay the piper so to speak. The furries are worse than children. As I sit at my desk working during the day they come and they meow and they meow and, well you get the idea. When husband is off, they are very quiet and do not approach my work space. How in the world do I break them from this addiction to the treats they have? If I shut my door they just meow outside the door so that is no help. Any suggestions? .
Spring Break
Our Spring Break is the week of the 13th. That's one of the weeks I take off from work so we can do things with the kids. Usually we take our vacation then and go away. Luckily it's usually half way decent here so at least the kids can go out and get some fresh air and play with the other kids in the neighborhood. Does your school district have any type of program for the kids during the break? Here there's a camp that the kids can go to at various locations.
Why doesn't he break up with his girlfriend?
??
Oh, lordy....gimme a break.
Where does this person LIVE???!!! Yucky, yucky, yucky...I feel gross after just reading it and picturing these things. Ptouey!! This woman needs some meds, and quick!
Robe until first break (I start at 4 am)...
then shower at 6 am and put on yoga pants and comfy shirt. Sometimes even put on a bit of make up just in case someone shows up! A bit more professional than working in robe or jammies all day!
Need a little YouTube break from typing? - sm

Then take a mini-tour of San Francisco, the way we skaters like to enjoy it! 


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwe8B2o7EhE&feature=related


Huh? How did you break a tooth there that you wouldn't have (sm)
anywhere else?
I've had to break into my own house more than once!! nm
x
Is there an easy way to break bad news? (sm)
I've been left in charge of our finances. Last year we ran into a blip on both of our parts - DH had his problems and my workload lessening to where I wasn't bringing in as much as before. I never dreamed it would come out, but it's about to and I'm not sure how to tell him. A few times during the past year, our car payment was late, not to mention I have made arrangements with a few credit cards to pay them off through a collector. As a result, we are not qualified for a home loan until one year from now. The mortgage lady told me to straighten up our unpaid bills and come back in a year.

DH doesn't know these things and now I have to tell him. It's not one or the other, it was both of us involved, but I didn't have enough money to make payments on the credit cards, they fell behind to the point of not being able to make the payments. He's asking me to find out if we would qualify for a home loan, but I already know the answer. How do I break this to him and that we need to take a year to straighten out our credit?
Stealing child: How to break the habit??? sm

We have a 6-year-old foster child whose birth mom had a stealing problem.  Our 6-year-old has had several episodes where she was caught stealing both before she came to live with us and since moving in with us.  Conversations with her about it being wrong to steal, talking with the caseworker, psychologist & even a policeman have helped but occasionally she steals something from a store anyway.  The last episode was this weekend when she stole some nail  polish when my husband turned his back for a moment, even when she was being allowed to buy some lip gloss she was wanting.


Does anyone have any ideas of how to get her to stop stealing?  I've talked to the local juvenile court system and all they said was they couldn't do anything unless she is actually arrested.... which of course we're trying to stop.  Of note her biological mother had a problem with being arrested several times for stealing and even though it's not documented, we suspect that this child would see her mother steal or her mom had her steal at times for her.   There are plenty of times we can go into a store without problems with her, it's only every few months she steals.


Thank you.


Anyone every break a blood vessel in their eye. I just did and it looks awful. nm
:
Spring Break!!! Let's go to the Labrador Islands!!
nm
Give me a break and crawl back
into the hole you came from!
A friend called me today on my break SM
and says she and her husband visited her husband's uncle last night in a local hospital here in our town. The nurse came in and gowned and gloved and wore a mask when taking vital signs while they were there.  My friend went out to the desk and asked why . . . The patient has MRSA. No sign on door, no special instructions or precautions given to the public about visiting this patient. She says they were there for about an hour or so and she touched him different times during the visit.  What do you think?  The souce of the MRSA is unknown at this point. I told her to call her primary care and discuss this issue with him.
Three main reasons why marriages break up...
money, in-laws, cheating.....
FOR THE LOVE OF MIKE - GIVE HER A BREAK - SM
She's been saying she is GETTING OUT. Why don't you stop beating her up about this!
Yesterday on my break at our local mall when I
was leaving and at the door two young men about mid 20s approached me and asked directions to our county hospital and nursing home.  Then they told me they had to walk because of no transportation, and that they just walked across town from a motel and were tired.  After I gave the directions again one of them asked if I drive.  He saw me just prior to that getting my car keys out.  I told him yes.  He asked if I would drive them to their destination.  I told them I had to be back to work very soon, which I did.  They could have been on the level, and I could have been on the new last night had I allowed both of them in my car.  I felt bad when I left, thinking that I could have helped someone.  What would you have done?  Some years ago one night I was forced into my car by a male who followed me out to my car.  That will stick with me forever.  I have never been the same.  Please reply.  Right now I am thinking of the verse in the Bible that says something like Be aware that you may be in the presence of an angel.  Did I let these angels down?  Please help.  
What? Give me a break!. This is because you can only speak English!...nm
nm
Disney World over spring break! nm
.
Oh, gimme a break. Her post was FUNNY!
I swear, some people seem to have nothing better to do in life than to be 'disgusted' by anything even slightly realistic or a little bit raunchy in a funny way.

Lighten up.
Can't ever catch a break! Missed court date for

I got a ticket 4 days before Christmas for having an expired tag (had planned to get it taken care of when my income taxes came in - my fault, but crap, I've been broke the whole year!).  So I got the tag renewed the next day because the cop said they would be looking again after New Year's to write another ticket (have seen that my city has had a 25% increase in tickets written in the last month - like they need the revenue!).  So, all I had for my little one was a PlayDough activity center under the tree $15, and a pink umbrella and some candy in the stocking from Santa.  She was happy, though.


I've had that **??@$ ticket next to my monitor to look at it every day for the last 2 months to remind myself to go before the judge and ask for an extension of paying it until Friday when my check comes in.  I have literally been living paycheck to paycheck, sometimes with only $8 in my account in between.  Well, tomorrow I am scheduled to go to a different court to get a child support order (money I'll never see anyway), and I picked up my big orange folder to put my income tax return in it to take with me.  Guess where I put it?  Yup, right on top of that **??@$ ticket.  Yup, I forgot to go to court last night.  Was being bombarded with emails that my accounts could lose power due to the storm and all MTs needed to empty the systems.  Now there is an arrest warrant out on me.  I talked to a clerk at court and he told me to stay indoors until Friday, then come in and pay to have the warrant removed, then I can get a new date to pay the **??@$ ticket. 


Well, I have to go to CS court tomorrow, but at least it is just a short hop onto the interstate and then quickly out of my city limits.  If I can just make it till Friday, pay the warrant, maybe my karma will start changing.  For the last 15 months, I feel like I am the little kid on Charlie Brown that walks around in a dust cloud.  I have seen the inside of more court rooms in the last year than most people see in their lives with getting custody of GD.  I must have done something really nasty to have this kind of karma for this long.  Oh, well.  They say when you're down, the only way to go is up. At least paying to have the warrant removed is less than the ticket and it gives me another month to come up with the money for that.  I'm so broke, I can't even get drunk to forget my troubles!  Maybe my luck will change by St. Patty's Day   


p.s.  I had to edit this message because I used the word s-t-u-p-i-d to describe that ticket and the website wouldn't let me use it, thus the **??@$ symbols !! 


Shower on first break in the morning after working almost 3 hours, then
change into street clothes, causal, jeans and blazer, whatever. Then out on my break to the mall for human contact, music, something nice to drink, then back  home to finish up my last shift. Works great for me and I never, ever go a day without showering, sometimes bubble bath, completely dressed, ect. This schedule is great for relieving pain with the warm shower/bath and helps me get the job done.
What kind of parent gives their child permission to break the law?
How do you know for sure there's only going to be 3 people there? Any adults? What kind of alcohol? How much? Will she end up in the ER close to death from alcohol poisoning? She knows it's not right or she wouldn't have asked. Telling her it's okay to break the law - you'd better hope nothing bad happens, she will be telling the police or whatever that she had your permission (and are you going to lie and deny it, putting it all on her?)
Give me a break. We are in medical records. I am not a trauma surgeon nor am I sm
an RN or even an LPN. I am on the administrative side for a reason. I originally went to college 3-1/2 years, to be a medical technologist (working in-house in a lab), and during those grueling 8:00 classes and labs all day, every day, I chose to get into the administrative part of medicine. So, you don't have to tell me about this being 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I know all about the 24-hour healthcare industry. I also did my intern at a 24-hour urgent care center, again, showing me that I DID NOT want to, nor could I, be available for someone 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I know it is a privelege to work for him and I work Saturday AND Sunday. Tell me, as a manager, do you work every weekend?
Proctor Silex Brew Station; no carafe to break;

Anyone else going to Cancun for Spring Break and concerned about current safety concerns
We're all set to go to Cancun for Spring Break and then we hear all of this on the news about people being careful in Mexico because of the drug cartel activities and killings etc. Does this even involve Cancun or is it just the border places. The Spring Breakers are being warned about going so it makes me wonder if it is just the borders as most Spring Breakers do not go to the border towns. Does anyone have anymore information. I have a good friend who met her husband in Mexico, has crossed the borders etc and she said going to Mexico isnt worth risking your life because they hate Americans. Yikes.. I don't know whether to go or not or if I'm just being paranoid now.
I think that is entirely up to you. I wish I had followed my heart on that one - sm.
When I was pregnant with my first baby, I worked in a hospital and my co-workers kept telling me don't tell anybody until you know for sure nothing is going to happen and until you start to show. Then everyone said to not buy anything for the baby until you are past 6 months. For the record, I NEVER did start to show, my baby was born at 27 weeks. I bought my baby bed on Friday, and he was born on Sunday. He lived 3 weeks and 6 days. Since his death, I went on to have three more children, and I told the whole world as soon as I knew, and we celebrated from day one. So....please follow your heart.
More so than heart, seems to be
the ribs. I am gonna tell them they have to get to the bottom. Just pain medicine alone not doing it.
My heart goes out to you
and your daughter. Reading your post brought tears to my eyes, as right now my first cat I ever had is suffering from cancer. She is getting so skinny and I know it won't be long before we have to put her down. It makes me cry every time I look at her. She had surgery, but the cancer is already back, so there's nothing else to do for her. That has to be the worst thing about having pets, having to say goodbye. Just keep the memories in your heart and know that you gave her a wonderful life.
Thank you, and my heart wants
to bring in another, but the timing isn't right with me in school and expenses tight after all the vet bills. Besides, Sasha seems to enjoy being the center of attention. I'm thankful we still have her.
my heart goes out to you.
What it means (IMO) is at the least that he has a short fuse, no control of his tongue and not much opinion of himself. Its probably hard for him to hold you or anyone one else in high esteem because he thinks so little of himself. There's no doubt more at play too, but this behavior doesn't mean he hates you. I've been in this similar environment. Learn to love and respect yourself enough that those kind of comments don't devastate you. It takes time and effort. A person of this kind needs to change from the inside out. How long have you been married? I can't help but wonder if there is anything spiritual that you share with him. You can't change him, so concentrate on what you can change (yourself, your means of coping, how you treat your job, relationship etc). It's hard not to be depressed in these situations. I'm sorry he hasn't learned to appreciate you. Stay safe. There are people who care about you! e/m me if you like.
I am so very sorry, my heart is with you.
Sending all kinds of warm fuzzies to you. So sorry this is happening and you have to go through it. Please do one thing. Look in the phone book when he is around BTW for the local domestic violence hotline. It is an 800 number, it is confidential, and you don't even have to give your name. Tell them these stories. They are open 24/7 just to listen. They will make you feel better. Also, please make sure you are safe. Keep a cell phone with you at all times, and your important papers and the childrens' all in one place in case you need them. Do not let him know any of this at all. Also if you don't have your own bank account open one just for you and the children. Dont let him know. Also, please have a safe place to go. The hotline will describe all these things to you. They also will suggest a local center you can go just to talk someone, as often as you would like to go for free. He does not have to know that either. I am not saying this so that you should be secretive. I am saying so that it will not trigger his anger and the circle of control. Like I said, stay safe, call that hotline ASAP and listen to them and the outpatient counselor. I have been through it. You need people to love you and make you feel worthwhile again and soon you will have the strength to see why this is happening and how to stop it. Please call them and let us know here you are okay.