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Three main reasons why marriages break up...

Posted By: EvaEv on 2008-05-27
In Reply to: That's not the worst - Wow

money, in-laws, cheating.....


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It broke up both our marriages.

Our two kids, their two kids, parents, other family.  She lives in Texas now, on her third or fourth marriage.  My ex never did remarry (he is also bi - as I said in another post today).  Her ex is on his 3rd marriage. 


Thanks for your kind thoughts.  But as for me, I met a wonderful man whom I have been married to for 9 tremendous years and am very happy now.  It just was such a betrayal that it still bothers me from time to time. 


Oh, and no, she never did say she was sorry. It's like I never really knew who she was...


Showers for 2nd marriages
My cousin called and asked opinion on wedding showers. Her daughter is marrying for second time and she doesn't know if it is proper to have another shower. She has her own home and has everything she needs. This is the first wedding for future groom. We had same discussion when my son married for second time. His future wife had also been previously married and they both live together and have everything. She went and registered at several places. Her response was she didn't need anything but sure wanted things. Isn't that a bit greedy? Any opionions? Same with second and third baby showers. When I grew up you got one for the first and that was it. If a huge gap between babies maybe a small second one but not one for every baby.

The question was not are you for/against gay marriages
The question was is it educational or not. The answer is NO. School is for the basics of learning, remember reading/writing/arithmetic? THAT is what I pay my tax dollars for, NOT for a teacher to pull a publicity stunt on school time.
rough marriages
I stayed for 27 years. It DOES not get better. It gets WORSE. He will never accept responsiblity for HIS failure. His problems did not start with you (no matter WHAT he says). This is HIS problem. Nothing you did or said caused HIS problem. The roughest part about leaving is getting YOUR head straight. I highly advise getting professional help so you can fully and truly understand and accept and live with what I have told you. IT IS HIS problem, not yours!! Run and don't look back. It will take a while for you to come to a full realization of the stress you are living with now, but peace is in your future. LIfe is going to be good again. It will just take some time to heal, and for goodness sake - DON'T EVER FORGET ABOUT IT!! Always remind yourself why you left. Hopefully, it will keep you away from him forever!
Believe me there are many reasons
I have been to several marriage counsellors and have spent many years praying and crying trying to get him to work on things.  I told him a couple of years ago that I was losing my feelings for him and was afraid I couldn't get them back.  He never listened until recently when I started wanting a divorce.  Now he wants to change things but I am afraid it's too late.  There has most likely been a lot of cheating in the past although I don't have any concrete evidence, and a few times some physical abuse, although not in the last 2 years.  He's okay with the kids but tough on them.  He was in the military and is very black and white, type A, hunter, engineerj type guy.  Even now that he is trying to work on things he isn't nice.  I keep telling him to change his behavior, treat me with some respect as a person and it might lead to physical at some point, but right now, I just absolutely cannot do it!
Really think about the reasons why...
My mom went through a period where she felt similarly at around the age of 50. She quit her job of 20 years and took a traveling job. In theory, it was an excellent idea, as my brother and I are both grown, etc. She absolutely hated it. She missed her family. She liked seeing the new places, but only for a few days. So really think about what it is you want to do and your reasons for doing it. I think you may find that if you do it for the wrong reasons and make drastic changes, your feelings will follow you no matter what you are doing or where you are.
I had it done for the same reasons as you. sm
I hated doing it but I was at a loss. I had tried everything else. Both cats did very well as they were faily young. My daughter still ended up with cat scratch fever from a back claw. I didn't even know that was really an illness until she was diagnosed with it.
I'm against, but not for those reasons,
and not in all situations. I live on a dangerous corner, and unfortunately, about 10 years ago, a young person was killed in front of our home. Within hours, our property became a shrine. And I understood why the friends and family wanted to visit the scene of the accident and leave a memorial. We kept the memorial area cleaned up, removed trash and dead flowers, deflated balloons, and even put stuffed animals in plastic bags. After six months, we cleared everything away, and we were quickly accused of being heartless.

I know that it's easy to believe that I'm heartless, but, truly, I wanted my property back. I didn't want to maintain the memorial, and I had contacted the family about removing the memorial. Interestingly, they had no problem with it. But friends of the victim, and even people who had no connection to the accident victim, were offended and caused a ruckus in the local press, left ugly notes and voicemail messages, etc. To this day, people stop by and leave little signs, messages, etc. Our house sits close to this busy road, with only about 10 yards from my front step to the curb. Perhaps if I lived on a farm and was set back, this wouldn't be a concern, but my small front yard is mine, and in the end, as the property owner, I have every legal right to remove whatever is left on my property.

Having been through this, my feeling is that memorials are a help to families. But, please be aware, property owners have the final say in this matter.

Personally, I would rather memorialize a person's life than the place of death. I think it's better to honor them by supporting whatever charities s/he supported, volunteering where s/he volunteered, etc. A roadside memorial instantly reminds me of a tragedy, and tragic moments are not where I want to put my heart and mind. I'd rather remember the living times and honor a life with action.
Two reasons.....
When you don't have the money, you learn to do it yourself....or else.

On the other hand, like my son-in-law and his family, they pay everyone to do everything and that is why going OUTDOORS to sweat is a real no-no for him. He was raised to believe you pay someone else to do everything for you (they got lots of money) and you can do nothing. On the other hand, at least those people can give others a job that really need it and can't afford to do nothing.
I think there are various reasons.
One, as you hinted at I don't think parents are tough enough or set high enough expectations for their kids. Similar to you, I took a TV guide once. They were all lined up at the check out (by the cashier, not the candy) and I thought they were free. I aws sitting in the cart and as mom was chit chatting I tossed one in the cart. When I got home, wow...I knew it wasn't good. Then my mother made me take it back and talk to the manager. I will never forget that. Its like a video in my head. Later I had to tell dad what I did and they explained that even if I think something is free I need to ask becauase things are not always safe or good for kids but the bottom line was that I was responsible and it made a serious impact on me. They didn't spank me, ground me, or anything else just held me responsible even if it was unintentional - I still did something wrong and had to own up to my mistake.

The point of that story is I don't think parents do that very much these days. I know my sister wouldn't. Funny to think we grew up in the same house and same values sometimes. Parents are too easy on kids these days. My husband being another. I think a lot of kids just dont' care or the punishment isn't enough to bother them in their core.

Another reason, for more serious crimes, I think is mental illness. Not that I think they should be treated different but I really think there is a root cause to a lot of rapes, murders, kidnapping and things of that nature. Governement doesn't seem to be helping people with disability and such as they used to, money is tight, and schools get blamed for over-diagnosing or for being too hard on kids.

Probably one of the reasons
dogs & cats that roam around don't live as long. Among other dangers. I don't think there are too many chickens roaming around, though, so at least they probably won't get salmonella.
Two reasons...
First: No parent has the right to endanger their child's life or welfare and that is exactly what she has done. This is not a rare condition without much medical data available.

Second: No one has the right to break the law or thumb their nose up at a court order. No one. And she has broken the law. If she or anyone else in this country feels they don't have to abide by laws and court decisions, that border is open for you to leave and I would advise you to do so immediately.

What she is doing is criminal in every way.


exactly! and the main reason why a certain--sm
someone does not want the war to end yet...too much money in it for him. blah!
I think the main idea
was to provide a separate area so that they would not be using the sinks. Would you rather have that?

And with the appalling handling of our taxpayers' money in Iraq not to mention pretty much everywhere else, are you really going to focus on footh baths? And how do you figure foot baths are at the expense of our country's safety???

And btw, people ARE allowed to put up nativity scenes at Christmas, as long as other faiths are represented too.

I am wondering if it is just that this is a Muslim thing that is bugging you or is it all faiths? If this was something to do with the Christian faith I wonder if anyone would even notice it.
She put up an ad on the Main Board, too.

the main actress
was dating marilyn manson. I think the role rubbed off on her.
I can't listen to it, for reasons I just can't go into. nm
!
I know what you mean about the time reasons but
the last couple of times I watched Pretty Woman there were added scenes that aren't in the original movie. To me they have made the movie longer to be able to get in more commercials, JMO
I did a 7-day sex challenge but for different reasons.

My husband had to wake up an hour before me for work.  Every morning, he liked to wake me up with him and then tried to get some before getting ready.  I went to bed usually 2 to 3 hours later than him.  Needless to say, I wasn't too happy about it.  So, I decided to give him a taste of his own medicine.  One night, I came to bed about 2 hours after him and he was sleeping soundly.  I woke him up to have sex with me, which he did without complaint.  The next night, the same thing.  The third night, the same thing.  He never complained.  By the 5th night, when I woke him up, he said he was just too tired.  He needed to sleep.  I laughed a little and said, "Funny, that's how I feel every morning when you wake me up an hour early for sex."  He got the hint and apologized.  He agreed not to do that more than once or twice a week and things seemed to be fine.


That was 6 years, 9 months and about 2 weeks ago.  You see my son was born 6 years and 2 weeks ago.  The little lesson I taught him ended up teaching me a much bigger lesson.  How come we women always get the short end of the stick? But I love my little guy!


I agree for several reasons...
First of all, $2000 will not buy a lot. Even $4000 these days will not buy something that is going to last a hugely long time.

I have two vehicles. One is an ྒ Chevy Nova (the import version) and the other is an ྒྷ GMC Vandura. They are both old, not too pretty, but they do the trick for us. My hubby drives that Nova to work. You can fill it up for $25 or less and drive for almost 2 whole weeks on that. The other is a gas hog, but it will get all 5 of us (3 Teenagers) where we want to go, plus all the food I have to buy at the store. I drive it only when I have to have all of us in the vehicle. That said, I probably could buy both of them for under $4000, but their days are numbered. Parts are getting harder to find, though we do keep the maintenance up.

Drive whatever you have till it dies. If your budget is so tight you can't afford to go over $2000, you can't afford payments either. Remember payments + insurance + tags and taxes. An aside thought there, pay for maintenance on your vehicle. Maintenance most of the time will save you headaches, and often will come up to less than what your payments would be on a newer vehicle.

However, that said, the minute they come out with a car that can do all I need and runs completely solar or on good old-fashioned air...I would wait in line for that because gas is not just expensive--it won't be around forever.
A couple reasons why, maybe?
He might be afraid that he's about to move away from the rented place and miss an important notice from the state about his ticket?

He might have an outstanding warrant from somewhere and be afraid to tell the police where he really lives, in fear they might show up and serve him for something?

Is there somebody living at the rented place with him that he does not want to see the ticket evidence when it arrives in the mailbox? A girlfriend maybe?

There's probably no danger TO YOU in letting him use your address as long as the SWAT team doesn't come looking for him in the middle of the night.
I just saw it on the main board. Maybe it was moved.
nm
One of the main doctors I work for
goes into a lot of detail about the patient's complaint and even what they think might be wrong wtih them. He also mentions personal things like if going to college, recently had a death in the family, etc. Hopefully you have typed a few of those and you can tell her that some doctors really do listen. Good Luck!
What do you want for your main protein item?
t
This 1st posted on Main Board & OP said she did
x
Maybe it was the main power station for
the state, everything may have run through it.
It got moved to Main Board I think. NM
x
Gab board is for non-MT subjects. Please use Main

Please use Main board for discussions regarding MT issues, software, etc. 


 


Thank you


don't let money be the main factor
If you think you will like the job and the people you will be working with, take it and don't worry about the money, and if you're not ready to move, hold off for something else.
Read all of this and it seems your main concern
here is at the very end, how do working parents deal with this, not about anything else much. You are in the dark about how parents (myself included) for years past dealt with children when the parents (myself included) worked outside the home. Talk about a mind blower, huh? We had either daycare, babysitters, some had grandparents who watched the children, other family members helped out some. Seems to me your concern is childcare mostly.
And the main word in your sentence is
mainly - as pets mainly on leashes- sometimes they are, sometimes they're not. Do your neighbors keep pitbulls also?
on subject of divorce reasons
Mine:
1. He cheated on me with EVERYBODY he could.
2. He was a control freak, didnt work, took all my money and hit me.

His:
1. she cheated on him.
2. She was a control freak and all she wanted him for was his money. When he changed from a high paying, high stress job to a lower pay but much lower stress job, she left.

Is it any wonder that either one of us wants anything to do with anybody else?
see my post below on divorce reasons
I should elaborate on this - I have known this man for probably about 20 years. I know that I can trust him. I do not want someone who will bring me home an unwanted surprise that I only learn about at the doctors office. Or somone who will beat me. I know that he would not do these things. and yeah, him being a christian means a lot to me.
We did curfews for a couple of reasons
Our 3 oldest kids are in their 30s now. Here's what we did with them and will do with the 2 teenagers when they finish high school.

CURFEWS - absolutely because 1) with the layout of our house they had to walk right by our room to get to theirs and we had to get up early to work to support the household
2) we both believe there's nothing good going on after midnight
3) the kids were always welcome to have friends over or be on the phone on weekend nights
4) the kids were expected to get up in the mornings and go to jobs or help with chores or the younger kids or whatever. Nobody got a free ride from high school graduation on.

Did we have a few skirmishes? Sure. But if there was a particular reason to be out, a movie, concert, then we were flexible.

We all survived it and we will with the younger two as well. You and yours will too. Just remember to keep the most important thing - your sense of humor.
Equally upset at either, but for different reasons. nm
x
I think it is a dangerous thing to do for several reasons.
First, it shows the employer that the employee is not responsible with their finances. Creates a feeling of always desperate and can never get enough.

Secondly, how can one ever possibly try to hold to a budget with constant borrowing from the future? You can never, ever borrow your way out of debt.

Sad.
Although for different reasons, I'm putting mine up

later than usual.  I usually have them up by Thanksgiving, but this year I think I'm going to wait until the first weekend in December to do the outside lights.  We don't usually light them every night.  I'm going to start my indoor decorations then, too, but holding off on the tree until a week or 2 before Christmas. 


Our current house is a little small and the tree really clutters it up.  We're moving in January and have a lot to do before then.  If I didn't have kids, I probably wouldn't put the tree up at all.  I love Christmas, but things are just too hectic and cluttered right now.


One of many reasons I don't shop at Wal-Mart

Against the Wal
A class-action lawsuit in Dakota County could strike a costly blow to the world’s largest private employer
by MARGARET NELSON BRINKHAUS


In July 2001, Nancy Braun was watching television with a friend when a commercial caught her attention. The ad was soliciting litigants for a potential lawsuit against Wal-Mart, the Arkansas-based retailing giant, for allegedly cheating employees out of wages they were rightfully owed.


A single mother of two—and grandmother of four—Braun had started working for Wal-Mart in 1997. At the time, she lived in Slidell, Louisiana, where she had previously worked for a grocery store. She considered Wal-Mart a step-up. “I liked shopping there,” she says. “I thought I’d like working there too.”


And she did enjoy it, at least for a while. She liked the people, the work, the sense of solidarity among employees. But in 2000, homesick for her family, she moved back to Minnesota and transferred to the Wal-Mart in Apple Valley, where she was assigned to run the Radio Grill, the outlet’s now-defunct in-store restaurant. There, Braun quickly became disenchanted with the company, especially after a supervisor repeatedly prohibited her from taking breaks—even after she had surgery that required frequent trips to the bathroom. She soon quit.


Braun’s friend encouraged her to call the number mentioned in the advertisement to see if she qualified for the suit, but Braun was hesitant. She didn’t relish the prospect of reliving that period in her life. Yet she remembered how her mother, a longtime switchboard operator at Carleton College, had always encouraged her to speak up, to do the right thing when confronted with an injustice, big or small. “You can’t allow yourself to be treated like an animal,” she says. “I’m sure Mr. Walton would agree with me on that.”


One morning this past October, six years after she first saw that television ad, Braun sat inside a Dakota County courtroom in Hastings, her striped shirt and beige pants—bought from Wal-Mart—in marked contrast to dark suits, leather briefcases, BlackBerrys, and laptops sported by the army of attorneys in the room. “I’m a Plain Jane kind of gal, nothing fancy,” she said. “But I know what’s right. What Wal-Mart did to me wasn’t right.”


That sense of determination is one of the reasons why Braun found herself in Hastings, taking on the country’s largest corporation. She’s one of four lead plaintiffs in a massive, class-action lawsuit filed against Wal-Mart, a case that could affect 56,000 people who worked at Wal-Mart in Minnesota between 1998 and 2004. The suit alleges that over that period, the discount retailer systematically avoided paying wages earned by employees for overtime work and missed or shortened meal and break periods. And though the case is not the first of its kind—workers have won victories in similar cases in California and Pennsylvania—it may end up being one of the most significant. If Judge Robert King Jr. rules against Wal-Mart in this phase of the trial, the company would likely have to pay up to $500 for each employee, which could mean a payout in the tens of millions. More significantly, a ruling against Wal-Mart in this first part of the trial would also mean that the case would move to a jury to assess whether punitive damages are in order. If that happens, Wal-Mart could be on the hook for not only millions, but billions.


Braun’s troubles began after she returned to Minnesota. At the Apple Valley Wal-Mart, she worked in several different departments before running the Radio Grill. At first, she enjoyed the work. “I treated that place like my own kitchen,” she says. “I did it all willingly. I’m not afraid of work…never have been.” Not long after she started in Apple Valley, Braun had learned she needed to have gallbladder surgery. After the procedure, Braun suffered some relatively common side effects that required her to take frequent bathroom breaks. Braun’s supervisors initially said they would accommodate her needs, but that’s not what happened. “I’d get in a pinch, be there all alone, and soil myself, ruin my clothes,” Braun recalled. “I’d feel so degraded. Sometimes I wouldn’t have clothes with me, and the manager would say ‘We have clothes here for sale. Get your purse and go buy yourself some.’ They didn’t care.”


Putting up with an insufferable boss is, of course, an unavoidable part of a job for many people. Yet Braun’s treatment, argue the plaintiffs’ attorneys, wasn’t unique among Wal-Mart employees. Another lead plaintiff, Debbie Simonson, 59, started working as a cashier at the Wal-Mart in Brooklyn Park in April 2000. As a single mother of two children, she needed the money. And, like Braun, Simonson was often told by her supervisor not to take bathroom breaks. “He’d say ‘Skip the bathroom and get your butt out here,’ and I’d do it,” she explained in court. “It was an order. Your boss tells you to do something, you do it.” She quit after 13 months.


According to Justin Perl, the plaintiffs’ lead attorney, the denial of breaks was standard operating procedure at Wal-Mart. As part of the case, he and his colleagues combed through Wal-Mart’s own records to find workplace violations. They identified millions of missed bathroom and rest breaks, as well as millions of shortened rest breaks, along with thousands of missed meal breaks. “It’s the Wal-Mart way,” says Perl. “They nickel-and-dime the lowest- paid workers so they can improve their own bottom line.”


Wal-Mart sees it differently. A spokesman, John Simley, says the company doesn’t comment on pending litigation, but in other cases the company has denied it encourages employees to miss breaks or work off the clock. Wal-Mart, company officials maintain, tries to ensure compliance with company policies and state laws, but has no control over individual choices workers make.


Yet those individual choices are often informed by pressure from the company, argues Perl. According to testimony in other wage cases, Wal-Mart compensates its managers largely via bonuses that are tied to profits—and the easiest way to increase profits is by cutting expenses. “They do it by erasing everyone else’s salary,” says Perl. “It’s not a hard job. They cut staffing. They shave breaks. They make their profit goals. It’s the only basis for how they compensate their managers.”


Pamela Reinert, 54, saw for herself how that pressure was brought to bear. A petite, soft-spoken mother of seven from Maplewood who has a PhD in psychology, she joined Sam’s Club—a Wal-Mart subsidiary—in 1997, after she was laid off from another job. Like Braun and Simonson, Reinert liked the work, and was good at it. She made it into the management-training program shortly after joining the company. As a manager, she would sometimes try to intercede on behalf of workers who weren’t getting their breaks. Eventually, though, she was told to stop making trouble. She eventually quit after a supervisor threatened to write her up for insubordination—for trying to take her complaints up the chain of command.


A ruling on the case is expected sometime this month. But no matter how it turns out, Nancy Braun says she will always miss Wal-Mart. “I wish I could have stayed working there,” she says. She enjoyed the other employees, the customers, and the idea “that there was always something to do, always a way to keep busy. I worked my way up—that was a big deal for me. When I quit, I felt defeated.”


Now living in Stevens Point, Wisconsin, and selling insurance at a cell phone company, she tries to attend the trial whenever possible. When she’s in Hastings, she occasionally makes a stop across the street from the courthouse to do some shopping—at Wal-Mart.


Margaret Nelson Brinkhaus is a Minnesota-based writer.


One of many reasons I don't shop at Wal-Mart

Against the Wal
A class-action lawsuit in Dakota County could strike a costly blow to the world’s largest private employer
by MARGARET NELSON BRINKHAUS


In July 2001, Nancy Braun was watching television with a friend when a commercial caught her attention. The ad was soliciting litigants for a potential lawsuit against Wal-Mart, the Arkansas-based retailing giant, for allegedly cheating employees out of wages they were rightfully owed.


A single mother of two—and grandmother of four—Braun had started working for Wal-Mart in 1997. At the time, she lived in Slidell, Louisiana, where she had previously worked for a grocery store. She considered Wal-Mart a step-up. “I liked shopping there,” she says. “I thought I’d like working there too.”


And she did enjoy it, at least for a while. She liked the people, the work, the sense of solidarity among employees. But in 2000, homesick for her family, she moved back to Minnesota and transferred to the Wal-Mart in Apple Valley, where she was assigned to run the Radio Grill, the outlet’s now-defunct in-store restaurant. There, Braun quickly became disenchanted with the company, especially after a supervisor repeatedly prohibited her from taking breaks—even after she had surgery that required frequent trips to the bathroom. She soon quit.


Braun’s friend encouraged her to call the number mentioned in the advertisement to see if she qualified for the suit, but Braun was hesitant. She didn’t relish the prospect of reliving that period in her life. Yet she remembered how her mother, a longtime switchboard operator at Carleton College, had always encouraged her to speak up, to do the right thing when confronted with an injustice, big or small. “You can’t allow yourself to be treated like an animal,” she says. “I’m sure Mr. Walton would agree with me on that.”


One morning this past October, six years after she first saw that television ad, Braun sat inside a Dakota County courtroom in Hastings, her striped shirt and beige pants—bought from Wal-Mart—in marked contrast to dark suits, leather briefcases, BlackBerrys, and laptops sported by the army of attorneys in the room. “I’m a Plain Jane kind of gal, nothing fancy,” she said. “But I know what’s right. What Wal-Mart did to me wasn’t right.”


That sense of determination is one of the reasons why Braun found herself in Hastings, taking on the country’s largest corporation. She’s one of four lead plaintiffs in a massive, class-action lawsuit filed against Wal-Mart, a case that could affect 56,000 people who worked at Wal-Mart in Minnesota between 1998 and 2004. The suit alleges that over that period, the discount retailer systematically avoided paying wages earned by employees for overtime work and missed or shortened meal and break periods. And though the case is not the first of its kind—workers have won victories in similar cases in California and Pennsylvania—it may end up being one of the most significant. If Judge Robert King Jr. rules against Wal-Mart in this phase of the trial, the company would likely have to pay up to $500 for each employee, which could mean a payout in the tens of millions. More significantly, a ruling against Wal-Mart in this first part of the trial would also mean that the case would move to a jury to assess whether punitive damages are in order. If that happens, Wal-Mart could be on the hook for not only millions, but billions.


Braun’s troubles began after she returned to Minnesota. At the Apple Valley Wal-Mart, she worked in several different departments before running the Radio Grill. At first, she enjoyed the work. “I treated that place like my own kitchen,” she says. “I did it all willingly. I’m not afraid of work…never have been.” Not long after she started in Apple Valley, Braun had learned she needed to have gallbladder surgery. After the procedure, Braun suffered some relatively common side effects that required her to take frequent bathroom breaks. Braun’s supervisors initially said they would accommodate her needs, but that’s not what happened. “I’d get in a pinch, be there all alone, and soil myself, ruin my clothes,” Braun recalled. “I’d feel so degraded. Sometimes I wouldn’t have clothes with me, and the manager would say ‘We have clothes here for sale. Get your purse and go buy yourself some.’ They didn’t care.”


Putting up with an insufferable boss is, of course, an unavoidable part of a job for many people. Yet Braun’s treatment, argue the plaintiffs’ attorneys, wasn’t unique among Wal-Mart employees. Another lead plaintiff, Debbie Simonson, 59, started working as a cashier at the Wal-Mart in Brooklyn Park in April 2000. As a single mother of two children, she needed the money. And, like Braun, Simonson was often told by her supervisor not to take bathroom breaks. “He’d say ‘Skip the bathroom and get your butt out here,’ and I’d do it,” she explained in court. “It was an order. Your boss tells you to do something, you do it.” She quit after 13 months.


According to Justin Perl, the plaintiffs’ lead attorney, the denial of breaks was standard operating procedure at Wal-Mart. As part of the case, he and his colleagues combed through Wal-Mart’s own records to find workplace violations. They identified millions of missed bathroom and rest breaks, as well as millions of shortened rest breaks, along with thousands of missed meal breaks. “It’s the Wal-Mart way,” says Perl. “They nickel-and-dime the lowest- paid workers so they can improve their own bottom line.”


Wal-Mart sees it differently. A spokesman, John Simley, says the company doesn’t comment on pending litigation, but in other cases the company has denied it encourages employees to miss breaks or work off the clock. Wal-Mart, company officials maintain, tries to ensure compliance with company policies and state laws, but has no control over individual choices workers make.


Yet those individual choices are often informed by pressure from the company, argues Perl. According to testimony in other wage cases, Wal-Mart compensates its managers largely via bonuses that are tied to profits—and the easiest way to increase profits is by cutting expenses. “They do it by erasing everyone else’s salary,” says Perl. “It’s not a hard job. They cut staffing. They shave breaks. They make their profit goals. It’s the only basis for how they compensate their managers.”


Pamela Reinert, 54, saw for herself how that pressure was brought to bear. A petite, soft-spoken mother of seven from Maplewood who has a PhD in psychology, she joined Sam’s Club—a Wal-Mart subsidiary—in 1997, after she was laid off from another job. Like Braun and Simonson, Reinert liked the work, and was good at it. She made it into the management-training program shortly after joining the company. As a manager, she would sometimes try to intercede on behalf of workers who weren’t getting their breaks. Eventually, though, she was told to stop making trouble. She eventually quit after a supervisor threatened to write her up for insubordination—for trying to take her complaints up the chain of command.


A ruling on the case is expected sometime this month. But no matter how it turns out, Nancy Braun says she will always miss Wal-Mart. “I wish I could have stayed working there,” she says. She enjoyed the other employees, the customers, and the idea “that there was always something to do, always a way to keep busy. I worked my way up—that was a big deal for me. When I quit, I felt defeated.”


Now living in Stevens Point, Wisconsin, and selling insurance at a cell phone company, she tries to attend the trial whenever possible. When she’s in Hastings, she occasionally makes a stop across the street from the courthouse to do some shopping—at Wal-Mart.


Margaret Nelson Brinkhaus is a Minnesota-based writer.


Robin, I have to disagree, here are the reasons....sm
First of all, when a woman truly wants a baby of her own, it goes way beyond WANTING, like a possession, I faced this myself, I had polycystic ovarian disease, had been married 8 years, and had lost 3 treasured babies. I was so devastated, and while I would have welcomed an adopted or foster child, there was this deep, inner need, it was like the need to BREATHE, beating within my heart, I love my husband so much and I just wanted to much for us to have the baby we had dreamed about since before marriage. Happily, just when I thought it would never happen, I had my daugher, quickly followed by two sons.....God is good, I had lost three, but God blessed and honored me with three. But women who conceive and have children easily cannot fathom the deep heartache of those who cannot, it is like missing a limb or other body part, worse....

As for adoption, it is wonderful, but do you have any idea the money it takes?? The YEARS, the stress, the invasion of privacy...and how many of us can travel to distant countries to the beautiful infants and children who truly NEED parents, many of us cannot do that.

There are many times IVF does not work, just like natural conception, God decised both. And insurance does not pay for multiple attempts, many times not at all, just depends. If the resulting child is cherished, nurtured, and happy, it is a wonderful blessing. In this case, though, it is just so outrageous, I cannot imagine the doctor who would do this, should definitely lose his license....and all those babies will pay in more ways than a few, most small, pre-term or multiple babies grow with many developemental disorders that will effect their whole lives.....so sad.
Like him too, he is the main reason I got Sirius radio....

my husband doesn't like him, but does not have to listen. I too like the fact that he is not PC, and when he has on something I don't like, I change the station, that simple.


 


According to message on Main Board is reads as follows
This site has been sold. Sheri Steadman no longer owns this site. We are in process of updating the site and Terms and Conditions of Service. In the meantime, those who are concerned about personal information can request the removal by sending mail to:

support@mtstars.com

Thanks,
MTStars Support Team.

Just now happened to me. I posted on the main board about it.

I have Norton AV and it called it a "browser exploit" and said the security risk was high.  I have not had this happen before and I would like to know why it is happening now.  It bothers me that this site is under new owners and all of sudden my AV software is detecing security risks when it never did before.


This post will probably be deleted now, but I need to know what is going on.  My PC just crashed a couple of weeks ago due to some corrupted files.  My PC guy, was able to salvage some of my files, but I lost almost everything!  I want to know if that has anything to do with this!


I also have to consider my income - not just whether I enjoy the job; that is my main concern. nm
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Finally got my main bathroom remodeled.
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My main problem with calamari, besides knowing it's
some ocean creepy-crawly like squid or octopus, is that it has the consistency of rubber. Yuck!
Give me 3 good reasons why you women put up with sm

this nonsense, and no fair naming children.  Why in the world would you choose to live like this with these neanderthal men?  Believe me, alone is so much better.  At least then you have choices.  and the children you are raising are actually children, not grown me. 


A Walk to Remember and Flight 93, but for different reasons
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The Missing Link, for obvious reasons (nm)

I was 18 and driving my Mustang on Main St. listening to the radio.
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COMPUTER HELP!!! I think I somehow deleted my main user acct
Can anyone help me?  My kids got me to set up user accts for them last night. I did.  I had an administrator acct.  It said I had to make one the administrator acct so I made one with my name on it.  Then tonight I logged out of mine to switch users, thinking I could just log back in, but now it is gone!!  All gone.  I have a very basic user acct with my name on it but none of my files, none of my work software, my e-mail isn't even set up. Where is it all?? Is it gone forever??