He messed up the pan on purpose...to be mean n/m

Posted By: OP on 2007-12-30
In Reply to: Why don't you appreciate the fact that he cooks??? - Mt

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I'm sick & husband is being mean...just so tired of it - sm - crying all morning, just venting
- I HAVE A BRAINSTORM - nana
  - That was funny - thanks! LOL - he's nicer today (of course) sm - OP
    - Be careful of the cycle. He is in the gift mode. - HolidayMT
  - Don't you get drunk quicker while in the air? - HolidayMT
- Been there - heck, there now!... - The Other Sunshine
  - One tiime, say yes and go. See how he reacts to - that. nm
- been there done that - ginny
  - It is as if some men get angry if their wives are sick or hurt (sm) - OP
- Thanks everyone for your comments (sm) - OP
  - Calling AA will do you no good. You need to call Al-Anon. - latecomer to thread
  - GOOD FOR YOU! But, think of yourself first. call the domestic violence hotline FIRST. - Holiday MT
  - Maybe he was freaking out about germs - during today's incident
    - That one is highly unlikely! LOL! He doesn't believe in germs! LOL! - nm OP
- your hubby - spring
- So he's out drunk and with a gun. S/l a recipe for - huh
- Why don't you appreciate the fact that he cooks??? - Mt
  - Uh, what? Cooking makes up for meanness? - tnmt
  - He messed up the pan on purpose...to be mean n/m - OP
- I just wanted to say I feel bad for you. - sm
- I am so very sorry, my heart is with you. - HolidayMT
  - Thank you...do you really think they will listen to me (sm) - OP
    - Of course they will listen. Mental abuse is extremely prevalent - HolidayMT
      - wow - mimiskids
- Well, he sounds like a control - Me
- I'd kick him out. I would not enable him to keep doing what he is doing - pc
  - How can I kick him out? I have told him to leave many times (sm) - seriously - OP
    - you do the leaving - mimiskids
      - Thank you...can I ask you (sm) - OP
        personality/alcohol - mimiskids
    - If you are serious about leaving, you need a plan. SM - bunny buncher
      - Do NOT stay just because of the age of your kids. - MslaMT
        You may want to shoot me, but SM - bunny buncher
    - Order of protection, change locks and be prepared - to call police. nm
    - Call womans shelter/police and ask them where to - start. nm
- bull, he was not too drunk he has a girlfriend. See the writing on the wall. nm - Minding your Business
  - Honestly I think I am dealing with both issues with him (sm) - OP
    - Sorry to hear all this; here's my advice - sm
      - This is basically what I have been doing the last few years (sm) - OP
  - you don't know that for sure. He says he thinks he's an alcohol. - she needs to start there. n/m
- You choose to stay in this situation. Until you make - decision to change this, it will continue, no surp
  - do you know how alcoholism works? - n/m
    - I know if SHE doesnt get proactive and take charge - her and children's situation, nothing will chan
- if he states he thinks he may be an alcoholic, he is asking for help - there is help out there; utilize it.
  - Would he still act like this even when sober? (sm) - OP
    - alcoholics have personality changes; talk to AA group - get info on it. n/m
      - Or could he be using alcohol as excuse without - really being alcoholic? nm
        if he quits drinking and changes for the better, you have your answer - n/m
        This may sound crazy sm - Seasoned Survivor
        Thanks...and I drink almost never...I occasionally buy (sm) - OP
        Let us know sm - Seasoned Survivor

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Yep, messed my computer up big
time and other programs too. I also got a virus on my computer and my virus protection wasn't resolving the issue. Once I took of IE7 and re-installed IE6, no more problems, virus gone. My other programs work great too now. I don't recommend it at all.

to not allow someone to end their suffering is messed up.
nm

I think they do this on purpose
They choose certain clips to throw you off or make you think he will choose one in particular over another. We don't know what really happened with Tessa as we didn't see everything, obviously. Having said that, I now think he is a complete idi*t, immature and wondering if he drinks too much. Seriously. I agree, he should not have said all those things to Bevin, *would you like to live here with me*, *I'm in love with you*, etc., totally leading her on.

I felt very sorry for her, even though I really didn't like her that much and did feel Tessa was the better choice all around.

But, hopefully, after Tessa watched the show last night she'll have second thoughts and will dump his a**.

I truly think after they see the taped shows of them interacting - and then some! - with the other women they begin having second thoughts and may be why most of the relationships don't work out in the end.

I haven't watched any of it on purpose...
but you can't help but hear drips and drabs without even trying. I have a son in college and my daughter is a junior and starting to look at colleges. I feel so bad for everyone involved, but I just can't watch it.

IMO, he has served his purpose according to your own statement .
.."I believe my brother brought him into my life for a reason. Since he has been in my life, it has been the best year ever and I have evolved into a better person.".....

You say you are a better purpose and maybe that was what he was supposed to do and that is all?

I say back off and if someday he is single and wants to start something up, then (if you are available) go for it! I think Dr.Phil would also tell you this, and any preacher or religious, or educated counselor/psych, etc.

LOL! My MIL does this every year with 5 grandkids, just not on purpose nm
!

Just regular all-purpose flour - nm
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gee whiz, i can now toot with purpose!!
x

Confessional is for the purpose of relieving people's guilt of sin.
The law is written on mankind's heart. Confessional and or talking with your pastor is a helpful tool toward relieving guilt and for guidance. People who quote scripture like this should know it is fine to quote but also should be educated on the original purpose of confessional. No one ever said the Pastor is taking the place of Christ. Read up on Luther's papers, please.