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How wonderful to know someone like your step-uncle!

Posted By: sm on 2007-10-12
In Reply to: Samaitan's Purse sm - trose

Have a great weekend with your family!


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My uncle did that, his daughter
who was 8 told him not to, but he didn't believe her.
Does he like Uncle John's sausage? sm
I can't remember where you said y'all were now, but that is definitely a local thing. Their plant is in Brandon. Anyway, they are also available online but the shipping is very expensive. They are the ones that make the mojo sausage (and other fresh sausage) and sell it to Sweetbay/Kash N Karry stores.
Love the Italian therapy! My dad and uncle were...
raised that way...no coddling or worrying about hurting the little one's feelings. My grandmother would have made a fortune from her therapeutic thwaps!
Going to my aunt & uncle's house as usual
My husband, my parents, and I all drive down to my aunt and uncle's house every year. We usually bring something like pumpkin and/or apple pie.
This is truly sickening. I had an uncle who lived with his mother sm
until his 50s, lived off of her, stole from her, slept in the same bedroom. They are both gone now, but the whole family was disgusted by this and him. She was definitely an enabler. Would borrow money so she could "help him out." He attended a methadone clinic monthly and she paid for it. No one could tell her anything, either.
He died young. Committed suicide.
I had a great uncle who hated the custom of "viewings"
And you know, so many people will say things like, "He looks good/peaceful/asleep," etc. My uncle always used to say, "Now how can he look good, he's dead!" Well, my dear uncle passed away at the age of 96. He died peacefully in his sleep. He was independent and active all of his life. The day he died, he had been working in his garden, doing house repairs, and cooking dinner for himself and his wife. Business as usual, except he went to bed that evening and quietly passed away. Wouldn't we all like to finish out 96 years like that! There was a closed casket at the viewing, and his wife told us, "Well, you know how Joe felt. He didn't want people filing by saying 'He looks good.' But the thing is, he actually looks great!" My aunt was a little sad that she didn't have an open-casket viewing, but it was Uncle Joe's wish for a closed casket.
My uncle told me each teat on a cow gave different kinds of milk (sm)
One for whole, one for 2%, one for chocolate, and one for buttermilk. That was when I was *real* little; I don't think I bought that one very long.

He also told me that the mountain people had to have "hill cows" which had legs shorter one side than the other so they could stand on the hills without falling over. (If you've ever seen cows standing on a steep hill in the mountains, you'll understand why I believed that for a while...)

LOL.
My uncle's sister worked as Paul Anka's assistant
and got us free tickets to a show in Vegas :)
FBI would not step-in sm
without justifiable cause, you wouldn't think...  oh the gossip.....  I worked with a lady that her husband was molesting the grandchildren, and he served like 20 years.  She was in denial, and when he got out she took him back, and there were more grandchildren by then.  What a world we live in! 
yes, that is my (our)next step.
we have 14 little kids from ages 5 to 9 in 6 different houses on my street. (2 are mine). when we bought this house 6 years ago, right before my second child was born, we were the only family with kids....this has become too too too much.
It's a serious step, but.... (sm)
if you are firmly committed to the animal it's sometimes for the best for peaceful coexistence. I had to have my first cat declawed at my mother's insistence (I still lived at home). I took a day off work and babied him as he recovered from this major surgery. After I was married, our second cat we had to have done because she couldn't understand why the other cat could scratch everything and she couldn't! I couldn't get her to stick with the scratching post, of course! We had those two for many years and after the first one died, we got a kitten, and since the second cat was never much of a "scratcher," he was easier to train and is intact. The second cat later passed away of old age and we adopted an older cat who seems to like my couch, but given that he is an escape artist, I've decided I have to live with it in case he gets out.

Another option is those little rubber caps that they have in the pet store that glue onto the claws; sometimes they can buy you some time while you work on training.

Good luck!
Step up
You need to step up here and be the parent. . Tell your husband. . Do not let your child bully/scare you into allowing her to continue this behavior. . Make her stick to your rules.. When she is staying with approved friends, call the parents and make sure she is there. . Where would she go if she left home? I doubt there is anywhere else she would be treated as well or have things as nice as she does in her own home with her loving parents. . She is a smart girl and will realize that - she is just playing you.. It is your duty to raise her in the way YOU konw is right.
Or if you step on a crack
you break your mother's back. To this day I have an OCD thing where I can't step on cracks. I wonder if this is why.
Well you just described my Step-mom, even though I love her. nm
!
To: Think you should step back sm
Nah, you are not worth a reply! You get back what you put in...  nothing!!!! Zilch - Hey, next time step up -- leave a REAL NAME!!! Coward!
HA! Me too. My son is using my step machine
!
She has a step-father who can be

somewhat of a tyrant.  I hope he is not the cause. 


Well, Step-One: Get it appraised by an outside
on TODAY's market, which in most areas is anywhere from 40%-50% lower than it would've appraised for 3 years ago, when home values were obscenely inflated.

Then see about the loan at the current appraisal rate, NOT what it was worth 3 years ago. Maybe you'll have better luck that way.
Friend or not, I would shy away from having the house appraised by someone who is a friend of the current owner's. That would be a conflict of interest that's better steered clear of.

Good luck!
Personally, I do not see this as a step backwards--sm
as MOST of the women seeking abortion are children themselves and only want to rid themselves of a situation they created, being oblivious and not wanting to face any consequences of..getting pregnant. In other words, they want to be able to have sex without paying any price for that, i.e. having a baby. A lot of these *children* seeking abortion should be made to see that what they are seeking to terminate is human life and if that child were born, it would be considered murder. This human life is not a *tumor* or *cyst* that must be excised to save ones own life, but is a human life all its own. Viewing an ultrasound of that baby prior to having an abortion may deter some *children* from going through with that procedure. Other than the *forcing* aspect of it, I really think it would eliminate a lot of needless abortions. More strenuous parental control on these *children* having sex in the first place would be a better alternative. JMO
Still, one needs to step back and be objective
This kid came to the US at age 8, probably not speaking English. His parents probably did not speak English, so he has to learn English at school. He was no surrounding by a Korean community. He was put in the middle of an English speaking neighborhood. Info coming out about his parents certainly seem that they were also loaners, so to speak, without a support system. Can you just imagine what this kid felt? If his parents have no real friends, they speak Korean, he is supposed to speak English and he, according to others, had no real friends, never socialized. So, before someone says this had nothing to do with where he came from, we have to think in this case it may had.

When a child that age is taken from his community (and he does have friends at that point), without a good support system around him, they do not flourish. The kids that had to be uprooted at that age with hurricane Katrina found themselves in other schools, other communities, no one they know. My daughter taught several of those children and I can say that they really do have resentment, bitterness, withdrawn, scared, isolated, and it comes out. Many of their parents are not coping, so how do they cope? This kid went all through school not fittng in. With that hateful play of a child killing his stepfather, I can't help but wonder if he lived with his father or stepfather, and if he didn't feel all these things after being taken from his homeland. He lived in an affluent area, which is far different than he lived in. If he never fit in, and not knowing his home life, one could open their minds to how he finally cracked.
Your husband needs to step up to the plate, no one else can do it!!
He needs to do it at the next opportunity. You teach people how to treat you. His silence speaks volumes to them. I feel for you. Went through something a little like this with my MIL for YEARS. She had nothing against me, just the fact that her dear son had married anyone. He finally told her to watch what she said to me or to anyone else about me because word was getting back to me or he would have no contact with her. She turned overnight into the best friend I have ever had. I have never heard her saying another bad word about me. Your husband needs to put these people on *notice* and NOW. Best of luck to you.
There are 6 of us, 3 boys and 3 girls, some of us are even step
We all get along fairly well actually, its some of the sistes-in-law and brothers-in-law that we cannot stand ! LOL. Thankfully, (not to be mean), but everyone, except 1 is divorced from the ones we couldnt stand and now they have found others that we get along with. My one brother is still single after his divorce.

We used to kid around "what is wrong with so-and-so? - Oh yeah, they are not like us!!"

Step up and be the parent! If he decides he wants
x
Why a mini-strike? Keep it up and they will step up
x
Mine is to step away from the table....LOL!
nm
My step-mother was with my little brother
He was from her first marriage but my dad adopted him when he was 5. It didn't really get bad until he started junior high. She went to the shcool every year and sat down with the guidance counselor and made up his schedule. She did this all the way through high school. When he started college she wanted to go with him to sign up for his classes. I told her how embarrassing that would be for him but she said other people would just think she is an older student waiting to register. Since he was going to a local college and there would definitely be several people there that knew him as well as her we were able to talk him out of it. When he started medical school she went with him to find an apartment. Upon return she described the furnished apartment to me to a T, although she couldn't remember my dog's name LOL!. Needless to say his first wife didn't like her....but we didn't like the wife either. He current wife doesn't like her either but at the same time both times my brother married very controlling women, just like his mom. I will say this, she has gotten much much better. Thank goodness, he is now 34 and lives 8 hours away.
Step-grandchildren advice anyone?

My son and DIL have dated since my step-granddaughter was 6 months old.  They would be together, break up, get back together....you get the picture.  Whenever they would break up, DIL would come and get any pictures I had of my step-granddaughter because "I would just throw them away."  I have completely stayed out of the situation between my son and DIL because I knew they would be back together in a couple of weeks.  At first, I was VERY attached to my now step-granddaughter.  I have evidently built up a wall now and I am having a very hard time being a "real" grandma to her.  I feel so guilty about this but just can't seem to become attached to her.  I guess I've built up some walls in fear that she will be taken away again like she had been so many times before.  I know it isn't her fault.  By the way, she is 8 now and they have been married for 4 years.  Anyhow, they are trying to have a baby and I am so excited...but feel horribly guilty because of it.  I just know in my heart that this baby will always be my grandchild.  By the way, DIL's parents are divorced and they all spoil my granddaughter like it is a competition.  She has every toy imaginable.  I guess my question is, how do I get over it and really be a grandma to her?


Am I the Wicked Step-Mother?

I know I don't post here much but I do read and feel you are all friends. I offer prayers for those that request them and feel for those with troubles.


I would like to know what you think about my latest dilemma. I came home from town today to find a phone call from my step-daughter, age 43. She has my cell phone number but for some reason she won't call me on it. Anyway I called her back and as usual she wants money, $500. I have lent her money in the past with the promise to pay back but it never happens. I know they say if you lend money to family consider it a gift and I have. I said "no" this time and now I feel terrible. She started out by saying she had a medical bill to pay and then turned it around to a DUI fine that has to be paid by Jan. 1. She got picked up in August for a tail light out and had been drinking with co-workers. Her story. I was advised by the court not to help her so that was part of the reason I said "no". She works two part-time waitressing jobs. She's divorced and no kids. She said she would pay me back $100 a month. If that is true why couldn't she have saved $100 a month and had the money to pay the fine? She called me a few weeks ago and I know she wanted money then but she didn't come right out and ask until today.


Thanks for listening, I appreciate it.


My youngest step son was killed ........ sm
in a motorcycle accident and was almost decapitated. The mortician did a very good job with him, but there was still some evidence of the trauma he suffered. His mother chose to have an open casket because I doubt she could have dealt with it any other way. It was a very hard funeral, and hard for me as I had not seen him in quite some time and it was hard seeing him lying in a casket, but I think, hard as it was, it did help bring closure for me and for his family. I think it is a very personal decision that only the family can make at a time like this.
We're out-of-step, I think. Tree up just before Christmas.
I grew up in a large Italian immigrant community many years ago. (Not telling exactly HOW many years! :)

I loved the old customs, and that's what I stick to. In the "old country" it was about the nativity display in the house, not so much the tree. But we did have a tree that went up usually on Christmas Eve, and it came down on "Little Christmas", in January, on the Feast of the Epiphany. Leading up to Christmas, we celebrate advent and keep an advent wreath on the main table and light candles each night. We still get a real tree, and we put it up just a few days before Christmas, but it stays bare until Christmas Eve. On that night, we have a big meal which includes seven seafood dishes, then decorate the tree, go to church, and come back and eat some more. I love the food!

Sometimes it's really hard to put everything off, because it just seems that decorations go up right after Thanksgiving, and come down the day after Christmas (which is my birthday, by the way.) But I like doing just what I did with my family when I was growing up.
Congratulations! Brave step you took! Best wishes (nm)
x
I totally agree with Ship. I used to be a step-mom...
My situation was much different, though.

I think you guys need to talk and your husband needs to get his head out of his butt and let you be a step-mom to your step-son, i.e., allow discipline for one thing. I'm not saying beat the kid bloody, of course, but if you can't tell him no or make him do something, that's ridiculous.

Sounds like your husband has big issues and I know how some men are about therapy or changing in any way. Being a step-mother is NOT easy but if you want it to work and think you can make it work, steps need to be taken; this won't go away and you can't just *tolerate* having your step-son there and only being happy with your husband when step-son is not there. Much, much good luck to you.
My feeling is if you step outside the border, you're
I don't want my tax dollars spent in some rescue or investigation because you went to a country you didn't have to and that was deemed dangerous.

Why would you even ask here? Why not contact the State Department about it?

Yes, innocent tourists are killed. Are they prime targets? Haven't been in the past but in order to get ahead, put nothing past them.

I just don't see spending money to rescue anyone or trying to investigate a disappearance, etc. We have enough problems here. You're on your own.


When our rich uncle got out of the poor house we'd be rich...sm
when we were young we'd think we'd be rich one day and it took us a while to catch on!
Electrical current through foot, the other hangs in walking midway through a step, anyone else?

have this problem? I have been to numerous physicians, have been told neuropathy. I am walking so gingerly this morning around the home because know if I step flat on 1 foot (left) it will have the electrical current as happened earlier this morning. Always when walking, never with lying, sitting, etc. You never know when it will happen. The other foot (pedal foot, right) will hang in mid air sometimes when I am taking a step which makes me hop so I will not fall. Gosh, I would love to look forward to my vacation this summer but sometimes the feet ok and then other times not so good. I know the electrical current is probably nerve related but have been told so many nerves in the foot would be like looking for needle in haystack to trace down. I mostly only wear bergies and put them on as soon as I get out of bed. This is not good!!


It didn't work out due to combining of kids and step kids. nm
*
How wonderful
You have a great brother...and he must feel he has a great sister :)

Have a great Thanksgiving!!!

Wonderful!
You have a right to be proud! Lots of teenagers are really caring and so sensible. Speaks loudly of how he was raised. GOOD FOR YOU!
Isn't wonderful to know there are still some wonderful
teenage boys out there. My son just turned 17 and he sounds a lot like your son. He loves so many of our Christmas traditions, but at the same time is a typical teenage boy. My son loves to cook and loves to help decorate, just don't tell anyone.
Wonderful - thanks

That is wonderful - thank you very very much. I am sending to all my family and freinds.
Wonderful! I have all I need and most of what I want.
NM
Wonderful!
Thanks for the tip. I'll have to watch for it.
This is wonderful.

I forget the man's name right off the top of my head, but he has a book about this; ironically enough you can "charge it on your card" to purchase!  So, kind of funny there!  I checked out the book at the library instead, figured out what to do, and still have not gotten around to it.  I need to get it all down on paper, and I've asked for $200.00 a month extra from hubs for what he gives me towards bills (he pays our entire mortgage) and I tend to to take care of the rest.  However, he does put his own gas in the car and treats us for different odds and ends, fast food, movie night, day at the beach, you get the picture... 


The only problem I see with this is the way I get paid.  I am an IC.  I only have one online company that truly pays me on time.  My other accounts I bill every other week but they don't always pay right away (could be a week lag sometimes) and another I only get once a month.  Also, the work fluctuates.  So, I may make $1.400.00 a month with one account but if the docs go on vacation, that can bring it down to say $600.00 a month. 


So while your plan, I agree, is wonderful and yes it does work, and yes I'm going to give it a try, doesn't always pan out "budget wise" income wise for me personally being an IC and having fluctuating work.  I might add the online company I range anywhere from 14,000 to 20,000 lines a month given the work is there, I work from a pool; no line quotas, and no set schedule.  So, I need to be on my toes to grab the work.  I do have a lot of accounts to choose from, but when I go out twice a week to pick-up work, I am away from the computer, hence losing some of those jobs I could have grabbed.  I check all day long until 11 p.m. to make sure I take all that I can. 


Sorry this is so long, but I think that's where I am so "floundering" on this "budget" thing where I am never sure if I'll have "my end of the budget" every month.  I don't have a set income, but I would not trade this profession for anything; been doing it 20 years, and love it and love being at home with the kids (school age), but still...


You tat - how wonderful
When my mom was alive she told my her aunt tried teaching her how to TAT but she would go so fast my mom couldn't keep up. I've got the tatting needle, shuttle and "tatting for beginners" book but I just was never able to get it. I do like to knit, though I have to admit the last time I knitted I was in 4H in school and made slippers.

I do cross stitch too.
Wonderful!
What an amazing testimony to God.
How wonderful, congratulations and wish you the best !!!!...nm
x
Wonderful news
What great news! I'm so happy to hear that you have a healthy baby. Good luck. It's too bad your first doctor had to scare you like that.
What a Wonderful Person
I wish I knew more people like you. It's too bad that some people are like this, but unfortunately the world is so much different thatit used to be. Keep doing what makes you happy.
Actually he is a wonderful father...
who takes time out of his sleep schedule to be with them, eat dinner with us, go to kids' sporting events and the usual things people do without missing a beat because everything works out for their schedule. People who sleep during the night have no clue how hard it is to sleep during the day when it is light out, loud noises outside like lawnmowers, snowblowers, leafblowers, construction and more than you could realize. Nobody schedules meetings at 1:00 am so you have to get up after a few hours. Going to church on Sunday with your family and having family day requires less sleep because he works Sat. and Sun. night.
I feel sorry for you that you can't have an open mind enough to see that not everybody has the same life, same feelings, same jobs. If I can make him more comfortable including having a dark bedroom then I will and I asked for help in achieving this goal, not to have someone who doesn't know him or our family come on here and insult us. Not once did I say this was something he told me to do or makes me do..I am doing it because I love him. If he gets home in time in the mornings he gets the kids ready for school. Marriage is about give and take.
what a wonderful post. sm
i've never experienced anything you have mentioned, but i think you are a very strong person for what you've been through and turning yourself around.  i'm sorry for what you've been through, but i'm glad that you have the faith to overcome.  just wanted  you to know i was touched by your post.  God bless. 
What a wonderful tribute!

Not only to your husband, but also to your daughter for being able to express those feelings to him, and to you for having raised such a loving daughter.


I'm tearing up myself here....