My feeling is if you step outside the border, you're
Posted By: on your own. sm on 2009-03-01
In Reply to: Anyone else going to Cancun for Spring Break and concerned about current safety concerns - Cancundreaming
I don't want my tax dollars spent in some rescue or investigation because you went to a country you didn't have to and that was deemed dangerous.
Why would you even ask here? Why not contact the State Department about it?
Yes, innocent tourists are killed. Are they prime targets? Haven't been in the past but in order to get ahead, put nothing past them.
I just don't see spending money to rescue anyone or trying to investigate a disappearance, etc. We have enough problems here. You're on your own.
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We're out-of-step, I think. Tree up just before Christmas.
I grew up in a large Italian immigrant community many years ago. (Not telling exactly HOW many years! :)
I loved the old customs, and that's what I stick to. In the "old country" it was about the nativity display in the house, not so much the tree. But we did have a tree that went up usually on Christmas Eve, and it came down on "Little Christmas", in January, on the Feast of the Epiphany. Leading up to Christmas, we celebrate advent and keep an advent wreath on the main table and light candles each night. We still get a real tree, and we put it up just a few days before Christmas, but it stays bare until Christmas Eve. On that night, we have a big meal which includes seven seafood dishes, then decorate the tree, go to church, and come back and eat some more. I love the food!
Sometimes it's really hard to put everything off, because it just seems that decorations go up right after Thanksgiving, and come down the day after Christmas (which is my birthday, by the way.) But I like doing just what I did with my family when I was growing up.
You're not the only one feeling this way -
at first it was enjoyable but it is hard to find the "hidden" threads now. I think it's great but perhaps they should have a new section just for this. I hardly go on the gab board any longer because like I said, it's too time consuming to find threads of interest.
Hope you're feeling better
about the holidays. People here have some great suggestions!! Have been a little down in the dumps myself for a variety of reasons, really, really dislike all the ads everywhere in your face, all the hype, and spend, spend, spend message that it all seems to put off starting in October for Pete's sake! Been kind of ba humbug myself this year so reading the responses to your post has really helped me, too, and I hope any others who are out there struggling.... Wishing you and your family the bestest holiday season!
Border Collie...
That decoration in the window... The snowman.... Is that old? That was the one I got to hang in my window when I was a child and every year from the time I can remember... Is it a hard plastic? What sweet memories! Oh, your dog looks like Snoopy doing that on the chair!  Happy Holidays! Beautiful tree too!
Check out my Border Collie...
She was a starving stray when she came by our house last year. She had ticks and worms and her ribs were showing.
The picture is of how she sleeps. Sometimes she sleeps with one paw in the air. This is the chair my husband bought just for her to sleep in. No, she is not spoiled...
Might be able to use fabric paint on some of the flowers and find a funky trim/border at a
s
i was told mine is half jack russell half border collie
AND HE SURE LIVES UP TO THAT HYPERACTIVITY!!!
FBI would not step-in sm
without justifiable cause, you wouldn't think... oh the gossip..... I worked with a lady that her husband was molesting the grandchildren, and he served like 20 years. She was in denial, and when he got out she took him back, and there were more grandchildren by then. What a world we live in! 
yes, that is my (our)next step.
we have 14 little kids from ages 5 to 9 in 6 different houses on my street. (2 are mine). when we bought this house 6 years ago, right before my second child was born, we were the only family with kids....this has become too too too much.
It's a serious step, but.... (sm)
if you are firmly committed to the animal it's sometimes for the best for peaceful coexistence. I had to have my first cat declawed at my mother's insistence (I still lived at home). I took a day off work and babied him as he recovered from this major surgery. After I was married, our second cat we had to have done because she couldn't understand why the other cat could scratch everything and she couldn't! I couldn't get her to stick with the scratching post, of course! We had those two for many years and after the first one died, we got a kitten, and since the second cat was never much of a "scratcher," he was easier to train and is intact. The second cat later passed away of old age and we adopted an older cat who seems to like my couch, but given that he is an escape artist, I've decided I have to live with it in case he gets out.
Another option is those little rubber caps that they have in the pet store that glue onto the claws; sometimes they can buy you some time while you work on training.
Good luck!
Step up
You need to step up here and be the parent. . Tell your husband. . Do not let your child bully/scare you into allowing her to continue this behavior. . Make her stick to your rules.. When she is staying with approved friends, call the parents and make sure she is there. . Where would she go if she left home? I doubt there is anywhere else she would be treated as well or have things as nice as she does in her own home with her loving parents. . She is a smart girl and will realize that - she is just playing you.. It is your duty to raise her in the way YOU konw is right.
Or if you step on a crack
you break your mother's back. To this day I have an OCD thing where I can't step on cracks. I wonder if this is why.
Well you just described my Step-mom, even though I love her. nm
!
To: Think you should step back sm
Nah, you are not worth a reply! You get back what you put in... nothing!!!! Zilch - Hey, next time step up -- leave a REAL NAME!!! Coward!
HA! Me too. My son is using my step machine
!
She has a step-father who can be
somewhat of a tyrant. I hope he is not the cause. 
Well, Step-One: Get it appraised by an outside
on TODAY's market, which in most areas is anywhere from 40%-50% lower than it would've appraised for 3 years ago, when home values were obscenely inflated.
Then see about the loan at the current appraisal rate, NOT what it was worth 3 years ago. Maybe you'll have better luck that way.
Friend or not, I would shy away from having the house appraised by someone who is a friend of the current owner's. That would be a conflict of interest that's better steered clear of.
Good luck!
Personally, I do not see this as a step backwards--sm
as MOST of the women seeking abortion are children themselves and only want to rid themselves of a situation they created, being oblivious and not wanting to face any consequences of..getting pregnant. In other words, they want to be able to have sex without paying any price for that, i.e. having a baby. A lot of these *children* seeking abortion should be made to see that what they are seeking to terminate is human life and if that child were born, it would be considered murder. This human life is not a *tumor* or *cyst* that must be excised to save ones own life, but is a human life all its own. Viewing an ultrasound of that baby prior to having an abortion may deter some *children* from going through with that procedure. Other than the *forcing* aspect of it, I really think it would eliminate a lot of needless abortions. More strenuous parental control on these *children* having sex in the first place would be a better alternative. JMO
Still, one needs to step back and be objective
This kid came to the US at age 8, probably not speaking English. His parents probably did not speak English, so he has to learn English at school. He was no surrounding by a Korean community. He was put in the middle of an English speaking neighborhood. Info coming out about his parents certainly seem that they were also loaners, so to speak, without a support system. Can you just imagine what this kid felt? If his parents have no real friends, they speak Korean, he is supposed to speak English and he, according to others, had no real friends, never socialized. So, before someone says this had nothing to do with where he came from, we have to think in this case it may had.
When a child that age is taken from his community (and he does have friends at that point), without a good support system around him, they do not flourish. The kids that had to be uprooted at that age with hurricane Katrina found themselves in other schools, other communities, no one they know. My daughter taught several of those children and I can say that they really do have resentment, bitterness, withdrawn, scared, isolated, and it comes out. Many of their parents are not coping, so how do they cope? This kid went all through school not fittng in. With that hateful play of a child killing his stepfather, I can't help but wonder if he lived with his father or stepfather, and if he didn't feel all these things after being taken from his homeland. He lived in an affluent area, which is far different than he lived in. If he never fit in, and not knowing his home life, one could open their minds to how he finally cracked.
Your husband needs to step up to the plate, no one else can do it!!
He needs to do it at the next opportunity. You teach people how to treat you. His silence speaks volumes to them. I feel for you. Went through something a little like this with my MIL for YEARS. She had nothing against me, just the fact that her dear son had married anyone. He finally told her to watch what she said to me or to anyone else about me because word was getting back to me or he would have no contact with her. She turned overnight into the best friend I have ever had. I have never heard her saying another bad word about me. Your husband needs to put these people on *notice* and NOW. Best of luck to you.
How wonderful to know someone like your step-uncle!
Have a great weekend with your family!
There are 6 of us, 3 boys and 3 girls, some of us are even step
We all get along fairly well actually, its some of the sistes-in-law and brothers-in-law that we cannot stand ! LOL. Thankfully, (not to be mean), but everyone, except 1 is divorced from the ones we couldnt stand and now they have found others that we get along with. My one brother is still single after his divorce.
We used to kid around "what is wrong with so-and-so? - Oh yeah, they are not like us!!"
Step up and be the parent! If he decides he wants
x
Why a mini-strike? Keep it up and they will step up
x
Mine is to step away from the table....LOL!
nm
My step-mother was with my little brother
He was from her first marriage but my dad adopted him when he was 5. It didn't really get bad until he started junior high. She went to the shcool every year and sat down with the guidance counselor and made up his schedule. She did this all the way through high school. When he started college she wanted to go with him to sign up for his classes. I told her how embarrassing that would be for him but she said other people would just think she is an older student waiting to register. Since he was going to a local college and there would definitely be several people there that knew him as well as her we were able to talk him out of it. When he started medical school she went with him to find an apartment. Upon return she described the furnished apartment to me to a T, although she couldn't remember my dog's name LOL!. Needless to say his first wife didn't like her....but we didn't like the wife either. He current wife doesn't like her either but at the same time both times my brother married very controlling women, just like his mom. I will say this, she has gotten much much better. Thank goodness, he is now 34 and lives 8 hours away.
Step-grandchildren advice anyone?
My son and DIL have dated since my step-granddaughter was 6 months old. They would be together, break up, get back together....you get the picture. Whenever they would break up, DIL would come and get any pictures I had of my step-granddaughter because "I would just throw them away." I have completely stayed out of the situation between my son and DIL because I knew they would be back together in a couple of weeks. At first, I was VERY attached to my now step-granddaughter. I have evidently built up a wall now and I am having a very hard time being a "real" grandma to her. I feel so guilty about this but just can't seem to become attached to her. I guess I've built up some walls in fear that she will be taken away again like she had been so many times before. I know it isn't her fault. By the way, she is 8 now and they have been married for 4 years. Anyhow, they are trying to have a baby and I am so excited...but feel horribly guilty because of it. I just know in my heart that this baby will always be my grandchild. By the way, DIL's parents are divorced and they all spoil my granddaughter like it is a competition. She has every toy imaginable. I guess my question is, how do I get over it and really be a grandma to her?
Am I the Wicked Step-Mother?
I know I don't post here much but I do read and feel you are all friends. I offer prayers for those that request them and feel for those with troubles.
I would like to know what you think about my latest dilemma. I came home from town today to find a phone call from my step-daughter, age 43. She has my cell phone number but for some reason she won't call me on it. Anyway I called her back and as usual she wants money, $500. I have lent her money in the past with the promise to pay back but it never happens. I know they say if you lend money to family consider it a gift and I have. I said "no" this time and now I feel terrible. She started out by saying she had a medical bill to pay and then turned it around to a DUI fine that has to be paid by Jan. 1. She got picked up in August for a tail light out and had been drinking with co-workers. Her story. I was advised by the court not to help her so that was part of the reason I said "no". She works two part-time waitressing jobs. She's divorced and no kids. She said she would pay me back $100 a month. If that is true why couldn't she have saved $100 a month and had the money to pay the fine? She called me a few weeks ago and I know she wanted money then but she didn't come right out and ask until today.
Thanks for listening, I appreciate it.
My youngest step son was killed ........ sm
in a motorcycle accident and was almost decapitated. The mortician did a very good job with him, but there was still some evidence of the trauma he suffered. His mother chose to have an open casket because I doubt she could have dealt with it any other way. It was a very hard funeral, and hard for me as I had not seen him in quite some time and it was hard seeing him lying in a casket, but I think, hard as it was, it did help bring closure for me and for his family. I think it is a very personal decision that only the family can make at a time like this.
Congratulations! Brave step you took! Best wishes (nm)
x
I totally agree with Ship. I used to be a step-mom...
My situation was much different, though.
I think you guys need to talk and your husband needs to get his head out of his butt and let you be a step-mom to your step-son, i.e., allow discipline for one thing. I'm not saying beat the kid bloody, of course, but if you can't tell him no or make him do something, that's ridiculous.
Sounds like your husband has big issues and I know how some men are about therapy or changing in any way. Being a step-mother is NOT easy but if you want it to work and think you can make it work, steps need to be taken; this won't go away and you can't just *tolerate* having your step-son there and only being happy with your husband when step-son is not there. Much, much good luck to you.
Electrical current through foot, the other hangs in walking midway through a step, anyone else?
have this problem? I have been to numerous physicians, have been told neuropathy. I am walking so gingerly this morning around the home because know if I step flat on 1 foot (left) it will have the electrical current as happened earlier this morning. Always when walking, never with lying, sitting, etc. You never know when it will happen. The other foot (pedal foot, right) will hang in mid air sometimes when I am taking a step which makes me hop so I will not fall. Gosh, I would love to look forward to my vacation this summer but sometimes the feet ok and then other times not so good. I know the electrical current is probably nerve related but have been told so many nerves in the foot would be like looking for needle in haystack to trace down. I mostly only wear bergies and put them on as soon as I get out of bed. This is not good!!
You're not 'low-class', you're FUNNY, & a good writer!
Which is often the case then someone is the first to cast stones!
I know the feeling.......
nm
For all of us feeling sorry for ourselves
ok - i'm not feeling sorry for myself because this is the story of my life - but I do feel very bad for my sister who is not even 60 yet.
First off - about 6 weeks ago my son hurt his knee playing softball - he had surgery and is on the mend - he has OI (osteogenesis imperfecta - so he knew he shouldn't be playing to begin with).
Then a month ago - got a call and my sister had fallen at work and broke her hip. Had surgery - OT/PT rehab, and was in the hospital until last wednesday - having home PT and doing much better. Then, on Saturday, she fell while getting back into bed and fractured her facial bones - she got dizzy and fell to the floor - falling onto the hip that was broken and onto her knees and then face. So, back to the ER - more CTs and now facial fractures. She wants me to take her to the pharmacy to get her diabetic supplies, since they found her to be diabetic while in the hospital (although I think it is probably really from the trauma since they didn't bother to do a hemoglobin A1C and just took blood sugars 4 times a day - and put her on insulin (someone's screw up) and I really don't want to take her out of the house - does anyone blame me.
I'm just asking here for prayers and good thoughts for her. She has had a hard life - 3 marriages (she's now married to the physical therapist who was our dad's PT when he broke his hip back in 1999) and just generally hard times. We are thankful that she has her current husband - and I would much rather him take her to the store when he gets home than me - but I'm gonna go ahead and call her - pray that she is too tired to go - and let that be that -
this is such a great place -
No, not feeling better- had a dog
dognapped before, not good. My neighbors cat caught a squirrel outside and I ran to rescue the squirrel and the cat ran and needless to say I was no help at all. Did you have one of those exotic cats by any chance, wonder why so wild? I have 3 cats and I entertain them by opening the shades and letting them view the birds but I could never let them be outside, seen too many animals killed that way and anyway our community has rules regarding no animals running around loose.
I know exactly what you were feeling. sm
My daughter is only 14 but she is such a "Daddy's girl" I can only imagine what her wedding day will be like. I will be a happy mess but my hubby will probably totally fall apart.
Thanks so much everyone - Fox is feeling a bit better sm
this evening. He was very lethargic this morning and I was concerned that the fentanyl patch wasn't controlling his pain, and I refuse to let him live in pain.
I gave him some Metacam (vet said it was okay) and gradually during the day he has perked up. We still have to lift him up because he has a hard time getting up but once he's up he's walking pretty well.
And he's still got a bit of a sparkle in his eyes...I think that's how I'll know. If the sparkle leaves and doesn't come back, it's time. But please God, not for a while yet....
Have been there and I know the feeling but
I got over the just burning, ticked off feelings I had, for no reason at all that I could explain. This was probably when I was in my 40s. I just did not want to talk to anyone, did not seem to want to be around anyone but get this, now in the 60s and golden years, what a difference! No more anger, loving life, sweet beyond imagination, no financial difficulties, basically nothing to worry about except when do the cats need feeding again! Yours probably will pass also. I cannot tell you or anyone else what was causing mine but I have so gotten over it, just took awhile. I do not think for 1 minute mentally related. Hormones? Who knows but as I age life just keeps getting better and better.
Been there and know how you are feeling
I lost my Tasha (chow/lab) this last May after 16 1/2 years but I did not make the decision she did and passed away on her own. It was hard, have two cats but it is not the same as a dog. Still tear up when I think about her but she is out of her pain and running like a puppy again I am sure. I swore no more dogs but low and behold finally in November went to Humane Society and pick up Molly (another chow mix but a lot smaller) and did ot realize how much I missed a dog. Back to walking and socializing. Am getting a digital camera later this week and once I learn how to use it, will get her picture on here so I can brag. These little furry things bring so much into our lives and ask for so little. Love my cats too and they love the new dog. Decided on the dog in my life instead of trying to find another man. Take care, treasure your memories and love your remaining brood. Thoughts and prayers, Patti
I know the feeling
Last week I went to have a tooth extracted, was not impacted, I just broke it - when I went in the receptionist told me that it would be a surgical extraction rather than simple - they had not even looked at my mouth, when I questioned it, she said she would see what the dentist said and did - when he finished pulling the tooth, he proceeded to put in a suture - I asked the assistant why and she said he does it to prevent a dry socket - okay, I have never had one before - the receptionist then told me that since he sutured it, it was a surgical extraction and costed me 3 times as much as a simple extraction would have, simply because he sutured it closed to prevent the dry socket. Kind of a rip off in my opinion.
I know the feeling of getting nothing
done. I have 3 boys, ages 10, 7 and 5. I work 2 part-time jobs and I specifically scheduled myself off 1 of them on Monday, knowing they would be home. Fortunately, it was nice enough out that they could play outside in the afternoon while I worked and then had baseball practice in the evening (all 3 of them woo-hoo) so I could get to the track and the store.
I actually got to sleep in yesterday and got some cleaning done before I went to work (I do work at home). Overall, it was a pretty nice day off, but I learned a long time ago not to try to work an 8-hour day with 3 kids home. It just doesn't work.
same feeling here
I only had one child and I too think that it was really hard work - not just physically but emotionally - trying to give them all the right tools/knowledge, etc. to become responsible, productive adults. . We must have done something right because my 23 year old is quite an amazing young lady. I do miss the times when she was little and loved almost every minute of it, but I wouldn't want to go back and do it over.
I have a feeling.....
they Mike and Susan will get back together eventually.............
Sorry you are feeling so down (sm)
First of all, relax. You need to go to a doctor and get on an antidepressant? No insurance? If you can get the money to go to the doc for one visit, you can get them to prescribe an antidepressant that is on Walmart's $4 list and get it for $4 a month. Call United Way and see if they can direct you where to get help with your rent. Don't worry about whether or not you have cable, you'll be okay without that unless you need it for your job? Don't worry about not being able to give Christmas gifts...just explain that you don't have the money. People will understand and your grandson can have it explained to him. I have the same isolation issues that you do because of the job. Can you go to a temp agency and see about getting a job outside of your house so you can be around people more? There is a website called Exercisefriends.com where you can meet people in your area who want exercise buddies, maybe just someone who is starting out trying to walk every day or something like that (not sure what your fitness level is). Or advertise on Craigslist for a walking buddy (but be careful of course when first meeting the person). I met one of my best friends this way and have known her for 4 years now. If you want an email buddy feel free to email me. I think everyone is struggling right now and it is hard. I would be happy to have you vent to me via email all you want. :-)
I know the feeling though
I wish i could exchange my cat!!
I know the feeling...
my son tests me every day even though the answer in the end will be no...normal behavior...I also wanted to say I think you are brave for getting out of bad marriage, so good for you for being a good Mom and taking care of your kids!!!
It is sad when that feeling dies
and it usually seems to after a couple of years. I miss the kissing, the hand holding. All that goes by the wayside when the man starts taking you for granted. Then it just becomes sex without a feeling of love. Men are exasperting creatures !
Same exact feeling here.
The extreme Christians also changed my feelings a long time ago. I then started researching the facts and theories, scientific versus religion. And did you know that many people with above-average intelligence are not religious based on this knowledge? Interesting stuff. :)
I don't blame you for feeling that way at all...but (sm)
I really think if you say anything it is just going to put a wedge between you and your dad and your new *relative*. It stinks though, I agree with you!
How is your son feeling today?
My 3yo had a fever last Friday. Don't you just feel so terrible when they're sick?
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