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I agree with HER...I think he needs therapy.

Posted By: He sounds like a martyr on 2008-12-25
In Reply to: A broken love story - who do you agree with? - Friend of a Friend

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I so agree - left at 18, therapy from 8-28...sm

And have been in fine shape ever since.  I became my own hero the day I walked out the door for good at 18, never looking back...never went back, not even for dinner, though kept in touch all the time with my father via his work/job, phone or going directly there, my father always trying to be the peacemaker.  I tried for several years and several different time but once one is so poisonous - you have a choice...and I always chose not to be involved with poisonous types of people.


Therapy IS the ticket FOR SURE and there's all kinds of therapies out there today for all kinds of personalities.  Thank goodness for that - I was into the new-wave therapies back in the late 1960s-70s....


Bless everyone going through all of this either prior or now.....Bless ALL. 



Yep, I had therapy for awhile too
Therapy didn't take the nightmares away and didn't take away my fears. My anger from it is better but not gone.

I think if I stay a little angry, I will be a little more vigilant and protective of myself. It will not happen to me again.

I can feel sorry for the jerk but can't forgive him for taking my security away from me.

And, before the "holier than thou" people jump on the religious aspect of forgiveness and healing, let me just tell you this.

I have seen many different counselors over the years for this. I even sought counsel from my church back then and I was basically turned into the church sideshow.

These were people I trusted but they let everyone in the congregation know that I was a little sinner and had brought a horrible shame upon myself and my church family.

This was not some kind of fanatical church but I won't say which one.

So in case Georgia Gal is wondering which church, she will continue to wonder. Just know that I will never get over this and I just can't see how she could. Church or no.

I believe in God, I just do not believe in church anymore.
Your doggie needs some therapy
It has no clue what it is, a Siberian and you call it a poodle. Poor thing. It has issues and I would suggest a good therapist!
you don't need therapy-you JUST SUMMED IT UP!!

This post says it all - and I think in your heart you know what would be the best road to take......it's scary but not for very long.......change can be scary but change is a constant in the life....and one door closes and 20 more open (doors and windows)....if you stay in the relationship, you're setting yourself up for a lifetime of never-being-able-to-please-this-person and then hence, yourself.  You only get to do this one time - as far as we know - wouldn't you want it to be THE BEST...?


Good luck, I so know it's sooooooooooooooo not easy.....


Was he cured by therapy
or medication?

hehehe.

I remember when DH and I were just engaged, he looked lovingly into my eyes and said the most romantic thing he could think of - "I promise not to be one of those guys who makes his wife a football widow."

Men are funny.
Try massage therapy - sm
It can do wonders.  Tell them exactly what your complaints are.  Best of luck! 
Yes he needs intense therapy
and they can probably get him disability which would help pay for it.

Question: Why do you keep saying retarded? Haven't heard that term used in years.

Question: Why in the world would they bring a 2yr old little girl into this situation. You said he has needed help for 16 years. What were they thinking. And as far as money goes, if they can't afford therapy, how could they afford to adopt a child from China?
Massage therapy!
I try to treat myself every 3 weeks or so.  PLUS i play a lot of online Jeopardy...
I have never taken hormone replacement therapy like you
because I knew from years ago, before the gov study that hormones were being linked with breast cancer, among other things. My elderly aunts (in their 80s) also refused to take hormones, one being a nurse. My mother took hormones and she died from uterine cancer. A previous physician told me I should take them (this was not OB-GYN and I just felt I had all the information I needed to make a sound decision, that being not taking them.
My Therapy Dogs are certified through
Therapy Dogs International. They have to pass two sets of tests..the first is the AKC Good Canine Citizen, then the TDI test. Any breed or hmmm-what-kind-are-you? dogs can become a Therapy Dog.

The dogs need to have a physical, stool testing, and vaccination history is sent to TDI along with a recent photo of your dog. You then will receive a photo ID that has to worn with each visit. 


A lot goes into the training, but it is well worth it. Just to see the look on a patient's face really does bring on the tears. Deb, don't hide your tears....the patient's don't mind. You and your dog just might be the most emotional packed figure they've seen in a while. Everyone else who tends to them, while smiling, are distant and almost sterile. Your tears means you really care about them.


Info on the AKC Good Canine Test:


http://www.akc.org/events/cgc/training_testing.cfm


and the TDI test:


http://www.tdi-dog.org/tditesting.html


New scents, aroma therapy from YC
Love the ones you mentioned as well as Water Garden and Sweet Violet.

The SO (he's such a sweetie) brings me YCs all the time. He just gave me a boxed set of five Aromatherapy Spa candles:

cinnamon/frankincense
peppermint/basal/rosemary
lavender/ylang-ylang/geranium,
jasmine/sandalwood
tangerine/vanilla

I've only tried the first one so far and it's very nice. Don't know what's in them but the dog freaks when I get the box out. She rubs herself all over them while snorting like a pig. Very odd. You should see what she does when the YC catalog comes with those scented pages!

When my brother was in therapy, he used that technique.
Never would use the word "you" in a sentence when discussing an issue and constantly repeating back to us what we said in order to validate that we were heard. Our entire family hated it, especially because his issues were HIS issues. Beating three wives, always out-of-control, and demanding emotional support whenever he made repeatedly stupid decisions. He just couldn't repair the huge damage he had done by trying that one on us. (And he only tried briefly.)

It's not a bad technique. It's actually quite nice to be civilized that way. But whenever someone mentions it, I'm reminded of my brother who had hurt so many of his family members, emotionally and physically, and then couldn't figure out why the technique his therapist taught him didn't work like a magic charm. He never did figure out that the trust was gone from every relationship in his life.

Sorry! That was off-topic. It just stirred up some unpleasant memories.
....therapy or a Marriage Encounter weekend, if that's still around...nm
s
Love the Italian therapy! My dad and uncle were...
raised that way...no coddling or worrying about hurting the little one's feelings. My grandmother would have made a fortune from her therapeutic thwaps!
Bless your heart for having Therapy Dogs!
I think that's a wonderful program and hat's off to you for taking the time to do it!
It's therapy. At least for me it is. I don't mind it. Just don't read the posts if you know
they will bother you. I'm sorry to be so rude, but you can't dictate what other people posts unless it's religion or politics. If you start getting into the media and bad news, then you are really censoring the board and you don't want to do that.
Hope she saved lots of the tips for you for therapy...
just kidding ;)
I overted one of these last week with Avon Moisture Therapy sm
and I swear by it. This time of year I cream up, especially rubbing into the areas that these occur, then put on some socks on my hands for the night. I have not had one of these until recently and like I said, I averted it with this stuff. I am nice and comfy this week.
I think once disgust happens, lots of therapy is needed to feel love again. Lots
s
What an awesome post! I agree, agree, agree completely with you.
You are right on the money in my book! 
I agree, try to live in another country, then you will also agree...nm
nm
absolutement! Agree! Agree! Agree!
Why is it so hard to understand this?  HMOs are just middlemen who get everything balled up and costly!
I agree with you - not judging either but agree (nm)
:)
and I agree with you *nn* -

I agree......
I agree with everyone's reply here. Also--one more thing...DO NOT TOUCH THE RADIO/CD PLAYER WHILE DRIVING!! It was 17 years ago that one of my best friends was killed this way-very responsible girl, just did not think for that one moment.

I was a responsible teen, but my parents set strict rules on my driving. At the time, I did not understand but now that I have a 10-year-old son who keeps reminding me each year that he will be driving in __ years, I understand completely. If it were an option for us, I would keep my kids babies forever.

Another thing you can do, just to maybe ease your mind about driving is take her to the local police department and have them to show actual footage of accidents. I know that sounds pretty harsh, but it has saved a lot of kids lives in my surrounding area.

Hope this helps!!
wow - I sure do agree with you!!....sm

I would rather them be locked in a car driving than strolling or walking alone - In Florida - we have had MANY YOUNG KIDS killed (murder) by being alone walking to and from school.  My children are VERY responsible and pay for everything, except that car insurance (which is wayyyyyyyyy too much) which I offered to pay until age 28.  By the age of 28, they'll be earning more $$.  My OLD brother (and he's very old *LOL*) did this for his son until age 28 (think he's about 38 now) because of the exhorbitant insurance rates.  I decided to follow suit.  If we have it, why shouldn't we help them.  I'd rather help my children while I'M ALIVE AND KICKING rather than what they get when I die, IF there is anything to get *LOL*


Y'all have a GREAT day! 


Remember, we can all agree to disagree without being nasty and rude. 


and I so agree with you!!!.....sm

One of my children saved all the Xmas/holiday/birthday $$ ever received from toddler-hood so that at 17 had $6000+ and put it down on a BRAND NEW SMALL CAR, albeit I had to co-sign the balance.  Child did pay the rest off.  I too am very proud of the children who are  young still, one has worked for 10 years already (started off part-time at about 14 after school by own choice).


Yep, I want kids to hang out in multiple numbers today - never walking alone - too many CREEPS out there in the USA today and they are EVERYWHERE....really creepy to me.........


Let's sing out for the responsible good kids who are out there trying to live life in this messed-up world!!!! 


HOORAY FOR THE CHILDREN!!!!  They are our future and if we don't back them, well then we are up the creek without a paddle, right?   


I agree...
Don't be too quick to judge! Last I knew car seats can be moved from one car to another! It's so sad that a few rotten apples out there ruin it for the people who really need the help! Hope you are never in a situation where you may need a little help.
I agree
Hey, Chillie, I love what you said.  It's time somebody did.  All this political correctness crap is getting to the point where it really offends me.  And I'm SOMEBODY, TOO!!!  Thanks.
It all goes to what you agree to when you take the job
If you take the job knowing that it involves working the holiday or the night of or the night before then it is your obligation to do so.  That is the way of this trade.   Then the days following the holiday we are "dead" and everyone is yelling for work.  Kind of like the hospitals, the police, the fire department, the stores half the time -- we all know what is expected when we accept the job.  If you knew that it was expected of you when you said yes -- then I think it is your obligation to work.  If you have your own accounts or are an IC then you have the right to say no but don't complain when nothing comes your way the day or two after the holoidays.  I chose to have my own accounts and some are open the day after Thanksgiving and so what I pick up on late Weds has to be back by early Friday and so somwhere in that timeframe I have to get it done.  I might have a few more hours to do it but also have a family and life so will squeeze it in.   Then Friday I will have what was dictated on Weds and have to work on over the weekend.  So you see you are not alone but this has been the way since I have been doing this, close to 20+ years.  Before that when I worked in office/clinics we were never closed for the Friday after Thanksgiving, saw patients until 6 on Weds, back at 8 on Friday.  Anway got things to do.  Patti
I agree
I was in management also and I was lucky in that there were only a certain few MTs that were very stubborn about not working holidays or flat out refused. Most were willing to compromise, maybe do one major holiday and have off the other, or even put in a few hours of their choice. It is those who refuse to work all holidays that can mess things up for everyone. For if everyone refused, what then? I guess it would then have to become mandatory???? Exactly!
I agree with you...
Even if the story you were told is true, there's still something not right about the situation.  Best to make sure your daughter's not in any danger, I'd do the same thing!  Good luck...I feel for the other family though...how hard would that be?
I agree...

My husband is far from dispensable!  He's my best friend too.  He's a wonderful father, husband, son, brother, everything!  We've been married for almost 20 years and I love and need him more today than I did in the beginning.  Men are getting an unfair wrap here...although I completely sympathize with the OP.  That's her situation, though, not every marriage comes down to that.


Like I said before (and my post was deleted for some reason) I am looking forward to growing old with my husband...raising grandchildren...hopefully finally getting to travel.  I do believe the best has yet to come for us!


I 100% agree.
x
I agree
My friend and I went on a sugar free diet - it lasted 2 days. After numerous trips to the restroom, we both finally came to the conclusion that it was the sugar substitutes. Go for Splenda... After removing sugar substitues we had no more problems.
I agree and not only that - what about the

actions speak louder than words - if he wasn't guilty he would've stuck around..........would have had nothing to run from if he was innocent......and that's another thing - in the case, he was NOT found NOT GUILTY - he was found innocent by a reasonable doubt....(pssst - cause he's still guilty)...LOL


if it looks like a horse, smells like a horse, acts like a horse, it is not a swan! 


RIP Ron and Nicole......


I agree sm
If you take hungry men a meal of sand covered with some cheese, they are gonna say it is great.  It was very funny to me too.  I am a country fair blue ribbon winner.  Of course they are not gonna say this tastes awful.  I make the best blue ribbon potato salad.  I mean really, if you take hungry men anything, they are not gonna tell your husband it was mediocore, hungry men will eat almost anything.
I agree with you...
Your original intention was to "feel" out how others felt about your situation. You never argued with anyone who replied earlier with anything but thanks. Log off now, and forget about the rants and raves. I hope you have a good evening.
I agree
I have never been big on that with my kids, never felt comfortable with it even when they were much younger. As ridiculous as it may sound, I can remember finding out there was no Santa and I was incredibly upset that my parents lied to me. Christmas is not about Santa. Still bugs me. haha.
I don't agree with your vet.
When I finally saw my dog going through a partial seizure, she was definitely scared and in pain. Afterwards she almost stopped breathing. Hers were caused by a tumor, but in a young dog like yours, it is almost certainly epilepsy. I have a friend whose dog has epilepsy with terrible seizures, and now he's on medication and only has 1 seizure a month. They are all much happier. If I were you I'd change vets because I'd be worried the seizures were causing brain damage.
I agree, but...
not everyone can multitask.  Fortunately, it is nice to be able to simultaneously do laundry and type at the same time.  No one should be sitting in front of a PC for 8 hours straight.  You have to get up and stretch, so why not switch the clothes from washer to dryer, or catch the news or have a cup of tea for a few minutes.  If you were inhouse, you would be at the water cooler.  Working at home is a privilege, but even people who work inhouse take advantage.  I have seen where fellow employees are taking personal phone calls, balancing their checkbook, making appointments, asking others opinions regarding personal issues, etc.  Lighten up!!!!  You will either be diligent or not off-site or not...  No one can type and clean at the same time, but it sure makes it easier to dust your living room, and then go type for a while....  Oh my!  That is why I love this board! 
I agree
For the first year or two I went to an accountant he was very helpful.  But then after  I realized that I was doing 80% of his work for him and I do understand taxes quite well, I bought Turbo Tax and for the past 10 to 12 years have used Turbo Tax.  You have to figure out how much sq ft your office is versus your house to find the percentage you get to take off for mortgage payment. utilities, etc.  Also he will let you know what the pros and cons are for depreciating your home.  Since I figure on dying here -- and not in the near future -- I have been using the depreciation.  If you use your car for any mileage related to your business, supplies, delivering, banking you can take that off.  Ask him about setting up a SEP fund -- self employment pension fund -- even if you only contribute 5 to 10% that helps to bring down what you pay SSN, every dollar helps.  Good luck, once he does it for you then you can use last year guidelines for how to do it.  
I agree 100%
I also suffered from HPV and had to endure 4 colposcopies as well as a LEEP procedure. If this had been available when I was younger, I would have gotten the vaccine. There is always risk to these types of things and it is a matter of personal preferance as to what you choose to do.
I agree. sm

And it was even worse in the days of pay toilets what we had to endure. 


 


I remember sitting there broken heated.


Paid a dime and only farted.


I agree as with the others

Definitely don't get tempted on the business trip, and if he wants you he needs to get rid of the other one. 


It is really easy to cheat on a business trip and come home to the wife/steady girlfriend like nothing happened (for some anyway).


I agree with everyone here and I have --sm
been in your shoes too, in the past. Only thing is that I was not mature enough way back then to keep business separate from *high school feelings* and the only one that got hurt was me. I felt not so bright in the head, and *cheap* afterwards.

He is still in his present relationship for a reason and since it seems so easy for this man to forget that, I would stay WAY clear of him! (gotten smarter in my old age). IF he leaves his present girlfriend, which I seriously doubt, then MAYBE, but also keep in mind that he was willing to step out of bounds on that relationship to see what could be done with you, and I would almost bet this is not the first time, so if things ever got serious between the two of you....how easy would it be for him to do it to you after 7 years or so?

It just seems so easy for a man to change his life like he changes his pants every day with no qualms about who he hurts in the process. Keep your dignity...don't do it. Just my 2 cents. good luck to you!
Agree with you

A lot of teens are going to have sex before marriage.  My 17-year-old daughter came to me last fall about wanting to go on the pill.  She is in her first serious relationship, so I took her.  I had a pregnancy scare in high school and it was not fun and I was very honest with her about that. 


My daughter is not getting the vaccine because it is too new and I don't think anyone knows the long-term problems that could come from it.  Hopefully by the time my daughter is having this discussion with her daughter, it will either have been proven safe or pulled off the market, but my daughter is not going to be a guinea pig.


I so agree!!!.......................nm
.
I agree.
A broken heart can kill you, if not dramatically reduce your zest for life. I know a woman whose teenage son died of suicide. She still visits his grave everyday. This has been over 12 years ago. She said if it was not for her other other, she would have died.
Yes. I agree. nm
nm
And I agree with you...he's no....sm

He's no Judge Judy or Judge Millian (Marilyn) or Judge Mathis or any of them.....he seems to be merely an ATTENTION SEEKER.


Judge (*and I use the term JUDGE loosely here*) Larry Seidlin is a 3-ring-circus unto himself with his one-liners and cliches...remember folks, he is a former cabdriver in Bronx, NY and is exactly what he *sounds* like in the courtroom....chastising the attorneys, calling them/addressing them by state , i.e., *Texas...sit down*....or things to that effect...and yet taking every single momentary opportunity to push his OWN agenda, and what I mean by that is HOGGING THE SPOTLIGHT and CAMERAS!!!  He's nauseating!!! 


So, Irish Mom....GMTA (great minds think alike) !!!