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I really see and feel strongly about both points of view here. sm

Posted By: Clear as mud on 2008-12-26
In Reply to: A broken love story - who do you agree with? - Friend of a Friend

I will say I am a Catholic, and a divorced one. I am not practicing at this point, but I am not an unbeliever...exactly. I consider myself a gnostic Catholic, and that is a story for another day.

The so-called Christian morals we have in this country are SELF-IMPOSED. They are with all religions. I consider myself a Christian, so I don't believe in sin because well, Christ died on the cross for the forgiveness of sin...even BEFORE we think about sinning. So, some of this I don't buy into.

If anyone thinks they have the slightest idea of what God wants them to do, they need therapy! WHY would any of us think we know the mind of the Divine??? I don't care how religious you are, YOU DO NOT KNOW THE MIND OF GOD.

I was in an extremely abusive marriage. He abused me, the kids, our minds, our bodies, our hearts, our souls. I was married in the Catholic church and I am still married in the church, having a divorce without an annulment. I made the commitment to keep only to this one man and that I have done. I live celibate for a number of reasons and my spoken commitment in the Catholic church is one of them.

Their respective marriages are over and not because of each other. They are free to be together if they choose to do so. Being arrogant enough to think he knows what God would want, yes he needs therapy! I think he is a bad bet for her because he will always come right back to what God would want, has no ability to exercise the Free Will God gave him, can't think for himself and would be pretty useless as a husband. This may, in fact, be what drove his wife to kick him out! Milquetoast!


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I'm sorry. I know I keep posting replies but I feel strongly about this (sm)
my mother was molested by her stepfather, back in the late 40s/early 50s when no one did much about those kinds of things. He also molested her sister, who ran away and got married at age 13 to escape him. He then molested my sister (yes my mother took us to visit them!) and probably me, although I don't have any memory of it. Also most likely my young female cousins who lived there. My point is...a person who would do this type of thing will not just stop. He has probably done it to others too that you don't know about. Look how long it took your sisters to tell you. I am so sorry. But you have to do something. And if you end up in court during a divorce, your sisters have to speak up for you. You are all going to have to stand together. I can tell you really love him and you don't want to believe this. It looks like you are going to have to believe it. If he did this to children, there is something wrong with him. Something inside him is broken, not working right, and you can't fix it. You are going to have to gather all your courage and leave. I am currently in the process of seperating also, but with a different set of circumstances not involving anything like you are dealing with. If you want to email me and just have someone to vent to, please feel do. Again, I am so sorry. Please go get a free consultation or a paid consultation with an attorney. If you go to church, go speak to someone at your church. You have to do something, I'm sorry.
I strongly disagree!.
I think everybody remembers the 'first time'.
It is said that no woman forgets her first lover and even if they might part, she will always have a special place in her heart for him. (Well, not everyone, it depends on him, too)
I believe strongly in gender rolls...
I know that this statement will be contraversial, but I think that the best way to keep a marriage healthy is to subscribe to traditional gender rolls. While I believe that marriages can last when other agreements are made, I think that straying from traditional gender rolls is a big cause of the increase in divorce. Yes, my husband does clean some and, obviously, I work, but for the most part, I take care of the house and the babies and he brings home the money. We are very happy this way. I am not saying that it cannot work another way, I think that it is a lot to ask of a husband to do both and a lot of women do.
For a young cat with no playmates, I would strongly recommend - (sm)
that you have your catsitter come daily. When I went on a trip and for cheapness reasons had my sitter come every other day, he was oh, so lonely and depressed. Having the radio on did help - that was her idea. But daily visits are better, then kitty has something to look forward to. Hopefully MIL will play with her too!

Another hint: My CA suddenly got very ill with kidney failure a number of years later, while I was also away on a trip. THANK GOODNESS my sitter came every day, or she would have found a dead kitty. She took him to an emergency vet that saved his life.

Now I always leave ALL necessary info. for the sitter: Vet's number & how to get there, as well as emergency vet. I also leave a blank check made out to EACH vet (regular & emerg.), because the sitter had to cough up a $500 deposit out of her own pocket the first time.

Other ideas: I leave a couple extra bowls of water around the house, especially in the summertime.

If kitty likes treats, sometimes it's fun to hide some around the house so that she has to "hunt" for them.

I unplug things she is capable of turning on - such as the paper shredder and both computer printers, since mine is so fond of turning them on.

For young cats especially, the toilet bowl lid should be down, to prevent accidental drowning.

Also, it's wise in any case to have kitty microchipped... provides a little peace of mind, should the unthinkable happen and she gets out and gets lost.

Providing a brand-new and very interesting toy just as you leave gives them something new to think about. Or else hiding an old favorite for a few days before you leave, and then presenting it again just before you leave.

I live in an apt., so I have a little sign in the door that says "In case of fire, please save me" (along with a photo of my cat.)
I strongly believe that time and place we die is predestined...
I came twice into situations where I escaped death.
Strongly recommend crating when not home or able to supervise
We adopted a 1 yo Rottweiler who literally ate the couch after he totally destroyed the living room, tore curtains from the windows, spread trash from the kitchen throughout, shredded newspapers, had the stuffing out of the pillows . . . all in one day!  I was at my wit's end and called the vet, who recommended a crate for when we weren't home or if he needed a "timeout."  It worked great.  We used it for about 1-1/2 years.  He was having separation anxiety, so he was only in there when we both were gone.  She may have to do it at night too, depending on when the dog is chewing things.  Our dog started sleeping in there at other times with the door open.  He loved it.  It's not cruel if used correctly and not as a punishment.  It saves a lot of stress for both the dog and the owner. 
Strongly recommend crating when not home or able to supervise
We adopted a 1 yo Rottweiler who literally ate the couch after he totally destroyed the living room, tore curtains from the windows, spread trash from the kitchen throughout, shredded newspapers, had the stuffing out of the pillows . . . all in one day!  I was at my wit's end and called the vet, who recommended a crate for when we weren't home or if he needed a "timeout."  It worked great.  We used it for about 1-1/2 years.  He was having separation anxiety, so he was only in there when we both were gone.  She may have to do it at night too, depending on when the dog is chewing things.  Our dog started sleeping in there at other times with the door open.  He loved it.  It's not cruel if used correctly and not as a punishment.  It saves a lot of stress for both the dog and the owner. 
points are - it's all about.........sm

  in this country it is all about which politician is sleeping with which drug company, how much $$ transpires (greased palms), and in the end, what with all the drug recalls after extensive studying of all the drugs, recalled or not recalled, our family members being used as guinea pigs. 


You like this system of doing things?  You like the FDA? 


*pppffffftttttttttttt*


 


 


As to your points
By the time of "the incident", drinking 12 beers was going real easy, 18 was average, and 24-30 meant it was the weekend. It was always one of my fears that I would wake up in the morning to find him dead beside me because I'm sure BAL had to be well in excess of .4. I always wondered if that tolerance of alcoholics (he can drink a 6-pack without visible effect to the untrained eye; I can't drink 2) always increased the level necessary to induce coma/respiratory failure.

As to pitying him, when I fell in love him he wasn't as bad as he is now. He drank 1 day a week, and then it was 2, and then it was 4, and then it was 7. Even now, I still love the part of him that's drowned there in the bottom of the Budweiser bottle. And I do pity him; I don't think he's happy. I think he drinks because he's miserable and then he's miserable because he drinks. The 2 months he was sober after the arrest was the longest his 14-year-old son has seen him sober, and the son is starting to show signs of the narcissistic danger-seeking behavior of his father, and I know that is tearing the ex up, although, ironically, he blames it on everything but himself.

As to the subpoena, the DA, at least the last time I talked to him, made it sound like there were no hard feelings if I didn't show up, although apparently without me there is only the report of the arresting officers.

In the state where it happened, punishment is a maximum of 1 year in jail. The ex tried to make me feel guilty about testifying and potentially making him miss a year at this critical phase in his boy's life, but there's a part of me that thinks getting the kid away from his dad and his father's cronies for a year would probably be a gift. I don't know why CPS hasn't stepped in by now anyway, although this is a bit "backwards" of a community.
I think it just said "low points", but

when I baked them yesterday, I ended up with 18 muffins and they were about 2 points each.  I also saw on the same post where you can add unsweetened applesauce and FF egg substitute.  That poster said this adds 0 points, so I guess you just figure out the points for the mix. 


Finally, someone said they baked cookies with just the spice cake mix and the pumpkin. No water.  350 degrees at 10 minutes.  I'm guessing you would be more cookies than muffns this way and lower points, but haven't tried them yet.


What points you are racking up!!
Give from your heart like you are doing. You will have Karma unbelievably so. I have gave over the years and continue to do so, first a friend whose husband died, having a tough time and I gave her $100- went up to my father's home and he turned around and gave me $10,000, bought a coat for a child in my neighborhood who needed 1 on a freezing day, paid $30.00 for that and the next day had unexpected check in mail for $300.00. I give money to animal shelter each and every month for their upkeep and even take my daily papers to the pound because the animals need those. I love being able to give, have done since I was a young child so my mother told me. You are really making points with the good that you do, give from your heart, no matter what you seem to think the response is, your rewards will be there for you in the long run. I never give to get back, never ever, just from my heart. I read stories in the papers or hear on television and will send money to different people I think deserve with never an expected return. Your heart is good!!
Not trying fo get points and people think what they want.....
I told how I work, what I do. I told what I see on these posts. How can that be anything but truth?? If it is perceived to be something other than that, well so be it. Only telling the truth. I think lots of MTs probably see themselves in what I have said and I have stepped on toes.
I see your points and agree that there

is definitely more going on here.  It's very hard to give just 1 answer.  There are so many other factors involved.  As you said, is he just a deadbeat?  Or is he out of work for the first time and is having a hard time dealing with it.  Maybe he kept the $10 because he didn't want to have to ask (or beg) his wife for money later in the week.  Does the wife handle the finances and does she "dole out" the money as she sees fit?  If so, then I don't blame him for keeping the $10.  Or is he constantly out of work, can't hold a job, wants the money for drinking or cards, etc?


Either way, the amount seems very trivial to end a marriage over.  I, too, think there is more going on here and maybe this is just the straw that broke the camel's back.


I have to disagree with some of these points
I do know that my natural gas bill, which is what I would be heating with, was WAY more than my electric bill. So I totally disagree with the statement that gas central heat is cheaper. My last heating bill 3 years ago (which only included gas) was $450 for one month.

What you posted says it uses .12 cph, which would equal approx $90 for 30 days, I could put 5 of them in my home before I reached my last gas bill!

Is this for everyone, no. Should it be used as a constant source of heat, probably not for most households (some single people might get away with it).

Really the only thing I saw in the article you posted against this heater was the cost of the heater. I am willing to pay that because I happen to want something that looks nice. This has a 30-day money back guarantee and a one year warranty.

Where I live anything that you can do to turn the thermostat down, if you use gas, will save you money. I need to heat my house 24/7 for about 7 months out of the year, if I had to pay for natural gas I don't know what I would do.
The others do have valid points, but...sm

things like this happen to me and I am most annoyed about the lack of consideration.  It bothers me to spend time looking for an item to use only to find out it was lent out.  My brother once let his friend use my lawnmower, without telling me.  I ended up borrowing my neighbor's mower because the lawn was getting overgrown.  It took 3 weeks to get mine back.  I think it is reasonable to be asked first, especially if it is something of sentimental value, something that needs extra careful handling, or something that is actually used frequently like kitchen implements/pots/pans...and lawnmowers, of course. : )


Wow....good points actually nm
x
All good points!

I am in the state of Louisiana and not sure what the laws are regarding this. Ironicially, the neighbor who committed suicide informed ME a few years earlier that a previous owner of my home did the same thing and the first thing I asked him was if it occurred in the house! He told me it did not, it was at another location and I have to admit I was relieved to hear that.


In any event, they were good neighbors and I feel so bad for his wife who is left picking up all the pieces. 


I agree with you on some points
Yes- I do believe that person was dead before EMS got there. However, they said that MJ was having trouble breathing right after that injection -- why wait so long to get help? Why not call the EMS asap? I'm not sure that the body is that of MJ or that it is not. He hid from the world so much -- always covering his face. Again -- how would someone know to get that shot of him -- if the identy of the man was kept secret? I'm not saying he is not dead, but on the other hand I'm not 100% sure that he isn't. Wonder if the family is having DNA on the body? There are things that just don't add up, but the he always was "different." Many have said he used body doubles and had an army of wax replicas of himself. Really . . . how hard would it be to fake his own death if he wanted to. If he is really gone, may he rest in peace. He will be missed by his fans.
Good points, and that is the thing. It is not
a fix-all. Without making lifestyle changes, everyone will regain their weight back. My step-mom had the surgery and is over the 100-pound mark for the weight she has lost. She has cut out all breads from her diet, desserts, etc. She has made huge diet changes since, and that is why she is losing the weight and keeping it off. She also consumes a lot of protein. She has done fantastic with it though. My friend's sister had it and is having a lot of complications, but she has not followed the recommendations for after surgery either. Her son had it and has done great and is keeping the weight off.
He does bring up some good points, but -
He fails to say how all these countries offer the *free* healthcare.  That is because it is not truly a free ride.  Every time they pay $6 or more for a gallon of their heavily taxed gasoline they are paying for it.  I know for a fact the property taxes in both Germany and England are outrageous because I have lived both places.  The British also pay outrageous prices for telephone service, must register each TV they have in their home every year and pay to use it, the list goes on and on.  So, while they walk out of the hospital without handing over any money, they have in fact paid for it in various other ways.  Not quite sure Americans would go for some of this since we are already screaming about $3 for a gallon of gas. 
haha, I agree with you on those points! sm
I can fall asleep with my music in my ears. Only issue I would have is if they talk loud enough to be over the music, or if a movie is playing during the long flights and you can't hear the movie because they are talking so loud, otherwise I don't see it being a big deal. What I don't get, though, is they always made it sound like it interferes with the radio controls or something to have wireless laptops on or cell phones. Guess that was just another story they tell to get you to do what they want, lol.
If you do WW, go to www.dwlz.com - all the points are there for food and restaurants.
.
You can google weight watcher points
and get them over internet at sites other than weight watchers. If you have the other material, just do it that way. That is what I am doing.
I get your point, but you lost points due to perception of slamming
aa
How About Those BEAUTIFUL CARDINALS, up by 3 points, I adore Kurt Warner!!!! happy! ,,,,,nm
nm
my view
What if your daughter was a smoker? Would you allow her to smoke in the house simply because she can smoke at school?

That said ... ask your daughter for the name of the rock group and CD, and then do a Google search for the lyrics.
I need a view from the outside
What to do about a family member who accused me of something that was totally untrue and too hurtful to even discuss, and that person's birthday is in two days. We had a heated discussion and I asked for an apology and got none. I have never, ever let her birthday go before. My mom is elderly and I don't want her hurt by this. What should I do? I am so angry I can't see straight right now and hurt. This an immediate family member, not extended. Do I suck it up once again and send a card and then show up at her dinner? We usually go out for our birthdays. Would be interested in any comment you might have. Either way it does not seem like the thing to do.
She's on The View right now

Just another view.
Where do one persons right to choose trump another persons right to choose. If this were a government run pharmacy, I could see requiring sales of certain items or medications. However, if it is privately owned, my right to choose to use birth control does not trump another persons right to decide what is sold in someone's privately owned store.
Another view

I believe I stopped having themed parties when my daughter was about 11 or 12, but when we went to see family, they took her and me out to dinner or lunch, had birthday cards, cake, or a special meal at home--maybe some money if they could afford to do so.  One reason might be the cost of gifts that older children have come to expect, also the fact they become more choosy and harder to please about styles of clothing, as well as "toys."  I had a friend who gave her children elaborate Easter baskets until they married and left home...that's what she liked to do--and that was fine!  I just could not afford to do what she did for her children, ever, for any occasion. 


It's remembering a special day that counts, not the party or gifts; I'm thankful my daughter learned that earlier than some and is passing that viewpoint on to my granddaughter.


The view - new host
I saw Roseanne on the view a few weeks ago and she seems to have really mellowed. But to watch her everyday - no way. I think she would turn into a Rosie or worse. I would like to see another younger person on - perhaps a bit older than Elisabeth - but someone definitely in their 30's early 40's and someon who doesn't begin with an agenda. Then I might watch again.
The View Update
Well, they were both on today and they're still together. She's moving to Hawaii and they are still engaged, but they basically said they had to fall in love all over again away from the cameras so there's no wedding date.
Did anyone watch The View this--sm
morning and get the name of the book/author Whoopie was talking about?  It was "The Education of???" It is about a young Indian boy and his life. It was an Ophra book club book until she found out the author (who is now dead) was in the KKK and she pulled the book from her list. We live in Cherokee, NC and my kids are into tribal life.
so true - especially considering my view
in house was no windows and cinderblock walls in a hospital.  Love the birds of prey - have a lady here that rehabilitates and I have seen kestrels, vultures, red-tailed, barred owls, great horned owls and more up close and personal.  Just saw a huge hawk overhead- freaked me out - haven't seen him around - couldn't train the binoculars fast enough but he looked bigger than a red tail. 
I can see it from that point of view though (nm)
x
How'd you like to have this view from your bathroom?


The presidential suite bathroom at New York's Mandarin Oriental. The 2,640-square-foot suite rents for $14,000 a night.

a different point-of-view
If you don't like your SIL, why would he want to help you?  Is it possible you've conveyed this dislike of him through your actions to him or that your daughter has shared your feelings about him with him?  If so, then I can see why he wouldn't feel obliged to help.  More than likely, he feels like he's being used.  If he's not good enough for your daughter, why is he good enough to help you move?
a kid's point of view ...sm

I just had conversation with a fellow Sunday School teacher about what GIFTS would be good to give this kids this Christmas.   At one point this gal asked her son (12 yrs. old) if he had any ideas what the kids would like to get.   His response "gee, mom, I thought Christmas was about GIVING, not getting."   Out of the mouth of babes, right? !!


Maybe it's adults who get too hung up on what we do or don't do for gifts, activities, etc.   Bet your children are just glad to have a good mom !!


I think your view does not generally match
up with most.. She looks like a real gold-digger to me. What about others out there?
My view of Hayley was if you've got it SM
flaunt it. However, the evening she wore that halter top with her boobs jiggling all over the place, was a bit much. If they jiggle that much, you need to have some type of support, and they claimed she was a devout Christian. Yes, Christians can wear skimpy clothes, but no jiggle please.

Yes, I'm probably just jealous! LOL!
Rosie Leaving The View
Just watching The View.  I know a lot of you wil be happy.  Rosie just announced that she's leaving The View.  I didn't catch exactly when she was leaving or why, but she did mention her children as a factor.
It's about time! Now I can watch the View without ...sm
getting annoyed when she starts her tirade and turning off the TV. My lunch time will now be pleasant again!
Thank you so much for sharing your point of view (sm)
I really appreciate you sharing your story. His dad is in the picture but they are polar opposites. I do have a couple of questions I want to ask you but I better get back to work for now - I'll ask later and hopefully you will check back and won't mind answering. Thanks again!
Whoopie! New co-host of the view is

Whoopie Goldberg!


I know am going to watch again!  


Rosie just turned my stomach.  Blechhhhhh. 


Good job, Babs. 


 


They were on the View today, did exactly same dance sm
with the slap included. She wasn't outraged, she was acting/dancing.
From a man's point of view on same sex lines
He told me just this morning most guys do not want to be on chat lines with other guys, do not want to even see things like that nor talk about it even. He says most guys he knows shy away from anything even resembling gay issues, no magazines, no chat lines, nothing. He works at a trucking firm and he says never hears other discussing subjects like this. He thinks there is more than just the chatting going on. This is from my man's point of view.
Look at it from their point of view. You have lived there 20 sm
years and may live there another 20 - they want to update. You don't have a lease - you are month-to-month and although you have been an ideal tenant - it is their property and they cannot do their renovations with you in there. I would try to rent another unit in the building if possible - but not sure you have any legal right to stay there - but hoping for your sake I am wrong!!
The View. Dress or jeans?
x
Here's the pizza guy's point of view
http://tipthepizzaguy.com/
Why is it that when confronted with a different point of view,
passages from the bible? That seems to be some people's answer to everything they can't (or won't) understand. The bible (like the I-Ching, the Torah, the Quran, etc.) is merely a fundamental of one's belief, and passages and ideas can be tweeked and quoted in different contexts to come out meaning pretty much anything you want them to. That it why not of that can be taken literally - it's merely a rough draft, if you will.

The thing is, you have every right to your beliefs, but you have no right to force others to conform to them so as not to offend you. You all need to grow thicker skins and realize that not everyone is going to want to limit themselves to a small, small way of thinking.


They talked about this on The View for 2 days and

even to the point as to how they have sex and that's ALL going to be revealed on her show tonight. I'm definitely not going to watch. Those 2 make me sick, especially now that she/he is pregnant again and due in June! BW thinks she's doing the world a favor by doing this special report.


The reason it kept its female parts was to have kids. What gets me is they never heard of adoption? Why not adopt? Because they wanted to make money, that's why.


I don't know how many times they pointed out that she is now a legal male on all records, SS#, birth (how'd they accomplish that?), marriage license, medical history, etc. If she/he is a legal male, she/he shouldn't have the reproductive organs. Period.


 I feel sorry for the kids. They will be so confused because they are going to tell them as soon as they're old enough  to speak and/or understand.


This world is going to h---- in a handbasket.