I am a working divorced mother - I consider anyone (sm)
Posted By: Newly dating and fuming on 2009-05-26
In Reply to: Please tell me the difference in you - SS
who works and supports their children to be a single parent. I am just saying that my children are my priority, and I cannot be giving my money to some guy. A single woman with plenty of money and no children to think of might not mind, but I do.
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My mom divorced him because he was ...sm
cheating with this girlfriend, and he went so far as to get dressed at night and actually go out like a teenager not coming home till midnight or so. He left my mama sitting in the recliner crying many nights. Then knowing she had to get up at 6 am for work he would wake her up to open the door for him cause he lost his key. He was very inconsiderate. That is why she divorced him.
So, since he's divorced twice, do we assume that it
Isn't there such a thing as he divorced the wives? Are you catching my drift? I guess we automatically assume it was "his" fault, and never the woman's? Just a thought. I say just take it slow, but it is so much fun to have that initial spark, and if it continues, then great. 
Unfortunately, when we divorced I was completely sm
out of my mind. It is legal because it states that he has the right to make any decision and can change his mind at any time since he has physical custody. He has been very kind in the past to allow my son to spend the entire summer with us. This will be the first summer in 7 years that we have not seen him. Plus, we send for him throughout the year during holidays and spring breaks. He can do this and can make this decision.
I could get a lawyer and amend the agreement we have, but then it will get so ugly (again) and complicated and I don't ever want to go through that ever again. He still has emotional wounds from our divorce (I've since moved on and remarried), so if he wanted to be ugly he can. What's to say my husband and I hire a lawyer in his state, go to court, and then I end up losing even the right to see my son? That can happen, especially since he has not lived with us ever. Thanks for your suggestion, though.
My parents divorced when I was 10. sm
I could write a book. My father wanted the divorce but my mother did not. As an adult I can honestly see why my father was so unhappy. At the age of 10 all I heard was my mother crying all the time. I never restented my father for the divorce, he was a much better father after the divorce. My mother had to really fight a lot of demons after the divorce but I honestly don't think the divorce was the only reason for her problems. I have been happily married for 20 years now, but my older brother is a whole nother story. His marriage lasted 14 years (13 years too long). Part of the reason she stayed was becuase of the children and he was not a great dad by any means. He had terrible anger problems and I honestly don't know if our parents divorce (he was 13 at the time) had anything to do with this. Looking back he was a bit of a bully as long as I can remember, so I don't think it was the divorce that caused his problems. It is hard to believe that we were raised by the same parents and step-mother. You don't say how old your kids are, and although I didn't want them to divorce, I do remember the screaming and yelling that took place, and that is something I just could not subject my children to. Feel free to e-mail if you want to talk.
I was divorced when my girls were 3 and 8. My
oldest daughter tells me that all she could remember was me crying and being upset all the time and how much better it was to have a calm household after we separated. They are now 18 and 13 and seem to be doing fine.
Yes to all your questions. I was divorced at SM
45, after a 27 year marriage from hades. Best thing I ever did. I have never been happier.
I have met the love of my life. The unhappy person now is the woman who had the affair with my ex-husband and is now married to him. Everyone and I mean everyone, believes I came out ahead. That's probably true, considering I got half his money.
Believe me, YOU ARE NOT TOO OLD. The best years are ahead of you. I can promise you that.
P.S. as you are divorced, it is YOU who can choose
with whom of your in-laws your children have contact.
She is in the same boat, married and divorced twice - sm
I would not make any assumptions regarding either party. Maybe his wives cheated, maybe he did, maybe no one did and they just grew apart; maybe her husband cheated, maybe she did, maybe her DHs (both of them) woke up one day and said hey I don't want to be married anymore, lots of fish in the sea. Who knows. She will find out as she gets to know him better if he is a jerk or not (i.e. if he was the root cause of his divorce or not). My DH was divorced (first marriage and hopefully only for me) and granted I know things now that I did not know then, but she did leave him and divorce him but I see some of the reasons now and know he was not totally innocent in the whole thing, but I also know there was a lot more to it. I don't think it is just one person's "fault" for a divorce, they both contribute, generally one more than the other but both people are definitely involved (it is their marriage). I say have fun, and see where it goes, just don't get all lovey dovey and become blind, try to be smart at the same time.
Because not all divorced people hate each other
They had a life together and that is a fact. My ex and I still talk, he and his first ex-wife talked and she and I are friends. They did have kids together and no I was never jealous. He cheated, we went through an ugly divorce - no kids - but had 22+ years together and so now we talk. He was my best friend for a long time and that is the part I missed. Would I marry him again -- no, is there anyting romantic - no but we do talk. So I guess it is something you will have to accept or move on. Not everyone comes out of a divorce bitter enemies. I am closer to my stepchildren than he is as their father.
yes, she and Jerry divorced but remarried....
Divorced Moms - How did you know it was time? (sm)
I am in an unhappy marriage, but I am scared to leave. I have insurance through my husband because I am an IC and I have all these fears - what if my job phases out? what if I injure my hands, what if I get sick, how will I take care of my kids. How did you know it was time?? Is it better now>
I've been divorced now for 5 years and have....sm
recently started dating, if you want to call it that. Things seem to be a lot different now when it comes to "relationships." There are 2 men that I am interested in and 1 of these men is more interested in me than the other one. Do I follow my heart or do I follow my head? They both have positives and negatives, as we all do. I just don't want to make a bad decision that I may later regret. I know this is not a lot of info but I have heard "follow your head" and I've also heard "follow your heart, no matter where the road may lead." Help!!!
Parents gettting divorced...sm
My parents are in their fifties and are getting a divorce because my dad is running around. Well she filed for divorce and he would not get out the house. He said until the divorce was final he had the right to stay, which is true actually. She can't force him to leave. At the beginnning of the divorce he agreed to give her the house and 3 acres and he would just take the other additional 7 acres. Well he has been told for months he better be finding a place to live but he refused to even look. He doesn't want to leave the house. Now the papers will be final next week and mama said you are leaving. He says he can't afford to get a place right now. She says well you have been knowing for months you should have planned ahead. She doesn't know what to do. It is like she can't get rid of him. He wants to do what he wants to do and have another woman and go out every night but he wants to live there and says how can you throw me out with nowhere to go. She said well you have had the opportunity to get a place. And he has had the money. She said he just won't get out. She could have him legally evicted and law officials make him leave but what an awful thing to have to do. But he is headset not to leave.
I would have divorced a long time ago....sm
when my husband had a drug problem. I didn't because my son told me he would not come with me but that he would choose to stay with his dad. He was around 7 years old at the time. I couldn't leave my son. So I didn't leave. He is so close to his daddy. He would pick his dad drugs and all over me any day of the week and that hurt me very bad because I have always been a good mom. So I stayed. I guess God helped me though because my husband quit using drugs miraculously later and we are doing pretty good now.
personally, I don't think that has anything to do with why people get divorced...
Marriage and having a family is sharing in the responsibilities of both taking care of the house and the kids...My husband and I both work and we both take care of the house and the kids...that way we have time to spend with our family, not one person doing chores all day, et cetera...JMO
Please talk! Been divorced for a long time
now and I think ignoring things and lack of communication led him to other women and the rest of the story is not important. So many people I have talked to feel that just letting things go without talking let to terminal demise of their marriage. Do something before it escalates. This may have been a perfect opportunity to begin dialog.
Happily divorced 11 years..and still single!
Use your head first. You don't have to settle for the least worst of the two...there are other fish in the sea. :-) I found my standards were WAY too low when I married my ex-hubby. Now they are high and I'm not going to settle for less than I deserve.
I was divorced, did not call myself a single parent
and I worked lots of jobs to make a living, not 1 red cent from the father of my son, never and I bought and made it all myself- I took them around their relatives, they always had a good home, involved in their schooling, the whole 9 yards. I am not responsible for a child turning against their mother for their love of money (the son). Others on her asking what phone call more important than my daughter, well having a phone call with an aunt who is in hospice with metastatic cancer in their late 80s.....
Divorced parents college agreement?
Those of you who are divorced and have children......how did you agree (or how would you agree) to pay for your child's college education? can you please share with me how your agreement is worded in your contract....if you do not want to respond to this post please email me....I am needing help ASAP!!! Thanks in advance....
I am divorced and now on good terms with MIL, but not while we were married! sm
She was very critical, called me every name in the book and kept telling her son I was no good that he belonged in the home I could not PROVIDE FOR HIM, as in the home they could. Umm last time I checked he was an adult too and we were to make a home TOGETHER.
I can remember being sent to the hospital with preterm labor with my daughter. I was scared, I had had to drive my sons to my mom's and then myself to the hospital. My doctor was furious with him. Why did I have to do that? Because SHE needed to go to the doctor about her 'rrhoids and her rear end was more important than OUR unborn child!!! Oh and he could have been available sooner, but she wanted to go shoe shopping. She was truly the other woman in my marriage and when anything happened where I truly needed him, he was with her...shopping, taking her to the doctor, driving her to the dentist. He eventually lost a job because all of that. He didn't learn and continued until he finally has not had a full time job since.
What finally bridged the gap was our divorce. He didn't see his kids or pay support because he didn't feel he should have to. BUT I never kept my kids from her, she is their grandmother and they are her only grandchildren. She never forgot a birthday or Christmas and she didn't play favorites like my mom did. I respected her for what I felt was her important role in their lives and she grew to respect me for my that.
What finally did it is the fact that my ex up and remarried. The gal he married has many documented mental health issues (I saw the report her ex had on her, but that is a long story). My MIL tried with wife #2, she really did. Finally, just about the time they married, this gal threatened my MIL's life and hit her in the face hard enough to knock her down! This was done in front of my oldest son and my MIL's boyfriend at the time (FIL had passed on).
From that day on, I was welcome in her home anytime and "that woman" was not. I suddenly became the nicest of her 3 DILs and she told me that herself. Although the kids are grown and I have moved out of state, I send her birthday and Mother's Day cards. I know she regrets the things she said and did, she told me that too. I told her that stuff was all in the past and what really mattered is the here and now.
If your mom and dad just divorced this year, have you ever thought of depression? sm
Maybe your dad is going through a real hard adjustment to his new life and could use a little help or boost from you instead of a cold shoulder. Sounds to me like he might just be in some major depression as his life has had a drastic change. Reach out to him and help him in his time of need. Sure he is an adult, but everyone can walk on hard times with major traumatic events going on in their life and he may just lack desire to care due to his depression.
its better to raise kids in a happy divorced home
Divorced, never considered myself single (?) and bought my own home
years ago - the price was unbelievable, 15,500 and sold it 2 years ago for $165,000. Quite a deal huh?
Sounds likea control freak and a doormat. Friend of mine just divorced after 23 yrs of being the
s
Whatever my mother-in-law and mother are cooking--lol
we go to my in-laws for Christmas Eve and usually have ham and kielbasa (we are Polish) and then my mom usually has turkey or roasted chicken on Christmas Day
I agree - a mother is a mother and a daughter is a daughter for life sm
despite the problems they had, which i truly believe stem for anna's drug problems. obviously her mom wasn't too bad or she would not have raised daniel for a while. i think the mother wants her buried in Texas so the grave will be close enough that she can go visit it without having to come up with expenses of going to the bahamas to get there. although i contradict that too in poor anna needs to be buried with her son.
So sorry about your working but
I was asked if I would, my regular day off but since no small kids and celebrating later in the day anyway, really made no difference this morning. Am also not employee so could have turned them down but I realized years ago that with children you want to be able to spend Christmas morning with them so think most of the time I was off. I read on these posts supposedly you make your own hours not being an employee, right?
Working??
And just what exactly is it that you are doing, if you don't mind my asking??? Ever hear of the saying, "the pot calling the kettle black"?
working out
Don't worry so much about what the scale says but go by how your clothes fit. I've worked out most of my adult life and threw my scale away. I weigh myself once per week at the gym. If you continue your working out as you describe, you will find that you will weigh more than you think you should, but you will fit into a smaller size. For ex, I'm 5ƈ". In my head I would think my ideal weight should be about 125 but have found my ideal work-out weight is 142 which puts me in a size 10...which is ok with me. Good luck!
Who's working anyway?
The population of this country is 300 million.
160 million are retired.
That leaves 140 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school.
Which leaves 55 million to do the work.
Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.
Leaving 15 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama Bin-Laden.
Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work! for state and city governments.
And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.
Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.
And there you are,
sitting at your computer, reading jokes.
Nice. Real nice.
Have fun - I''m working......nm
LOL
another working here too
going to fireworks tonight though and to a free movie in the morning...getting up early to work, cookout...swim...happy 4th and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Is it only when you are working?
Or does it happen other times? My daughter's friend has some weird thing where she cannot drive because she starts to fall asleep, but it only happens when she is driving. Or maybe your job has just gotten too boring! LOL.
You might be working too much
When you exercise, they always have you alternate days between aerobics and strength training because the muscles you use need a rest between uses. Without the proper rest between, you're not allowing the muscles to recover, which leads to chronic overuse and ultimately, pain.
Ha, just working. I am used
to every time I get up to get a drink or go to the bathromo, I always light a cigarette. That's the part I'm really fighting, but haven't given in. I really have to quit; tired of coughing all night long! Have been smoking for about 25 years adn figure it's way past time!
what's working for me
My biggest problem is that the strands of my hair are very, very fine. Had a hair stylist tell me that was caused by hollow follicles and poor diet. (well, I KNOW I eat awful but am trying to at least get in more water and less caffeine now). I have no idea if she's right or not about the hollow follicle thing, but -- I went to Sally Beauty and found Folicure vitamins for hair. I'm sure there are plenty of other brands out there. I figured if it was a root problem it might take a while to see a difference (my hair is about 2 inches past my shoulders). I have been taking the vitamins for a little over 2 months. Hair is not thicker yet but seems stronger and healthier in appearance.
I also suffer from dry, brittle, frizzy hair - especially in winter. The wonderfully helpful lady at Sally Beauty also recommended several months ago Excelsior's Millennia Mudd. You use it after shampooing instead of conditioner, let it sit for several minutes, and then rinse out. It has DRASTICALLY improved my hair. I used it every day (she said this was safe to do) for a couple weeks and really noticed a difference. Once I felt my hair was improving I cut back to 3-4 times a week now. It has eliminated my split ends and makes my hair feel incredibly soft.
Lastly, the same hair stylist gave me this recommendation - of course, she was trying to sell me the pricy salon product but I said no and went to Walmart for a product that fit my budget better. She said to apply a thick, creamy, leave-in conditioner on the "ends" - meaning about half the length of my hair. Not to the roots as then it would look oily or greasy. This you leave in and do not rinse out. I have been using Nexxus Humectress Ultimate Moisturizing Conditioner. Now, my hair is also naturally curly so if I brush my hair out after drying it still fluffs up considerably (kids say I'm a poodle) BUT, it is not brittle feeling and it not breaking off when I try to comb it. (I got a free sample of Fruictese -- sp?? -- version of leave-in cream conditioner - it fells kinda sticky or tacky or something. Did not like it as well.)
Sorry, that was a little long-winded. This combination seems to be working well for me. Hope it helps you too.
um, then why are you working and he is not?
and why so many cruises, they are disgusting, food poisoning, people germs, body odor all crammed together, and someone thinks it's fun.
What is working for me
Sorry to butt in, just thought I'd share what has been working for me. I have ankle/foot pain from a bad break, so walking a lot is difficult. So, I bought a recumbent stationary bike. I've been 'riding' that for about 30 minutes a day (started out at 5 and worked my way up). I've lost about 12 pounds since Thanksgiving and that's with all the holiday eating! Not sure if it will work for you because of your knee pain, but for me it's better than walking.
I have been working
a non-MT job for about 3 weeks now.
I decided after 5 years of MT that I was becoming very anti-social and depressed. I couldn't take being home alone all day long anymore, so I went to a staffing agency and asked what they could do for me.
I wanted a position in a hospital or doctor's office, but was so eager to get out that I told them I would take anything.
I am an administrative assistant now at a non-medical place of business and I LOVE it. When I look back on my days of feeling like a hermit, I almost cry. I have become a completely different person in a matter of weeks.
Good luck to you! It's amazing what a little socialization can do for the mind, body, and spirit.
working, working, working!
My stepson will not be with us for Christmas morning so we celebrated early. I will be working tonight and all day tomorrow. Kinda nice to be done with the shopping, etc. while everyone else is hustling and bustling for last minute things. We were invited to the in-laws for Christmas dinner tomorrow night and I was asked (yesterday) to bring sweet potatoes so I will be running to the store this afternoon to get those but that's it. Hubs and I may go see a movie tomorrow afternoon as a treat to ourselves.
Try working with her-
I myself got a very young kitten from my housekeeper and she is like the Tasmanian devil but I love her with a passion. Maybe you should have gotten an older cat if you wanted 1 like Garfield, 1 that sleeps and sorta stays out of the way. My kitten has just reached the age of spaying but she has been into everything here in the home. I have had to kitten proof everything- she gets up on everything from the living room table to end tables. I have bought scatmats that I have on my kitchen table and countertops. I have tried the water bottles, 2 sided tape, chicken wire on some tables to keep her off. She is a rascal but - I love her and know she will grow out of this and plan on keeping. My bedroom door stays closed when I am out of there to keep my cats out. I will work with my girl because just too many unwanted animals out there - I do not consider them throw aways. I would just say to keep the bedroom door shut. I have not found anything really that deters mine yet- I know 1 day she is going to be that beautiful grown up tabby and well past the kitten stage.
I'm working it -
I am currently working full time at home, which is not giving me much work, part time in a hospital, and going to school full time. I do not have time to add anything else and guess what - my bills are not getting paid!
I am a month behind on my rent and my check this time is a third of what I need to pay to just pay that one thing. I am behind on my power bill and because the unit was tore up last month and the company kept telling me it was not, I just got a $300 power bill for last month that I do not know how I am going to pay...
My husband is out of work due to a WC injury and barely gets enough money to pay anything besides buy some food and put gas in the car to make sure that I can get back and forth to work at that second job...
We have lost everything we had last summer, just started getting things back on track, and now this all hits again. I've done everything responsibly that I can do. The only thing left to let go is the vehicle, then how am I supposed to get to work?
And, by the way, that second job in house only pays me a third of what I make at home when there is work available, but I continue to go there because it is guaranteed hourly income and not production based.
I have no insurance. Have not been to the doctor in over 3 years (even though after my last serious GYN procedure, I was told that I had to have regular visits every 3 months).
Now what else exactly do you think I should do? There are no more hours left to do anything else!
working holidays.
I am working Thanksgiving, schedule just fell that way. As far as Christmas goes, I'm am also scheduled to work, didn't request it off, but I work 3rd shift. I did request to work Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve to have a couple of days off for my brother's wedding that is 12/30. Working holidays doesn't bother me too much since I'm 3rd shift, but I could see how it would be a pain for those who are required to work and work days or 2nd.
I'm working, not by force sm
I always work Thanksgiving and Christmas (if there is work). I also work the 3rd shift which makes it easier for me to do. I love the holiday pay!
working holidays
I'm right there with ya! Love that holiday pay! lol
Then why continue working for MQ? nm
x
Are you working in the evenings to
where you would not be able to pick her up at school? If it were important to the child to be in the play and someone could be on standby for a call, then try to arrange that. Do not know if I would have sent email to higher up as your daughter is in her class, no sense in it filtering down for a come back on the child perhaps.
Working At Home
For now, you could download a free Express Scribe to play your test files on. You could use the hotkeys instead of investing in a foot pedal until you know what you will need. You also can download Cute FTP. You will at least be set to test. You will need a lot of reference material to work from home. Apply, apply, apply! Your new employer will let you know what you need to work on their account. They vary widely. Good luck!
your welcome! hope it is still working for you. sm
it took about 2 weeks before she never asked for it again and forgot about it, but hey sometimes you gotta do what ever you gotta do. you know everyone says "let them cry to sleep". well my child would cry for over 2 hours and i couldn't take that anymore. never worked. it was miserable. i think after they get over 1 year old, they should be weaned because then they learn more about what it is and how to get it. too smart. yes, mine would hold onto my boobs like that too and it was too cute! then she got desperate and would "suck" beside the boo-boo and that is how i ended up with "hickies" on my boobs!stock up on those band-aids!!!!! if you are determined, stick to it, and you will need lots of them.
working out-oops!
Oops! I meant to say I'm 5ƈ".....
Where you working when this happened and
where you making enough to support the 2 children? I guess if you divorce and have small children, you just fall through the cracks as far as anything like this. You best make it on your own or else.
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