I went down below and read all the posts regarding this poster and her way of sm
Posted By: Also, mom of 3 boys here on 2006-11-02
In Reply to: Message to Mom of 3 below. - Sophie
parenting. Although we have absolutely no right to tell her how to raise her children, I will say that I am concerned about this way of parenting and living in general. She reminds me A LOT of my sister in law who, mind you, is absolutely perfect. Her kids are perfect, her house is perfect, her yard is perfect, everything is so perfect in her world that it leaves absolutely NO ROOM for mistake, i.e., leaving your coat at home, forgetting your lunch, etc.
I can't stand to be around my sister in law for a nano second, much less Thanksgiving dinner. If you are not perfect and your kids are not perfect, well, behind your back she will talk about you ll day long about how difficult it must be to be you. When, in reality, everyone is thinking this about her. It literally makes my stomach turn at just the mere thought of her.
I don't know about you, but my closest friends are humble, make mistakes, are far from perfect, very forgiving (which my sister in law is not), and just giving in general.
Contrast the 2: The perfectionist who thinks she is teaching her kids responsibility by not helping then when they make a mistake, instead ruling with an iron fist so that "they will never do that again!" OR the nurturing mother who understands that children have short attention spans and can get caught up in moments and will forget their coat or their lunches once in a while and that it is our responsibility to help them and guide them along the way, teaching them love, forgiveness, and that it IS okay to make a mistake.
Honestly, I feel so sorry for my nieces and nephew because of the perfectionist spirit that my sister in law gives off. She really reminds me of Mom of 3 Children. Hey wait. Maybe they are the same person!
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- I went down below and read all the posts regarding this poster and her way of sm - Also, mom of 3 boys here
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I have read all of the posts here and --sm
in my opinion, it is time to do what you have to do. She already has feelings against you, so what difference does it make. try to protect her as best as you can. protect your gd first and foremost. Get her some help, for YOUR peace of mind. God knows what you have done to help in your lifetime. Do not worry about your siblings or what anyone else might think. Do what you have to do..it is time. good luck to you, and God bless.
Now that I read your posts..
I'm figuring that's what my problem was. I had a tubal ligation after my third child 15 years ago. I had endometrial ablation done last March because of heavy periods, which was the best thing I ever did. It was to the point that I sometimes had to get up twice a night to change everything. My doctor told me that I might need another ablation sometime down the road or maybe a hysterectomy eventually.
I have not read through all these posts, but
I had a cat pee on my daughter's new bed and was horrified. We got urine gone from wal-mart and that fixed it totally. Hope you find a solution!
I can't read posts either...
Can't read posts either!
Before I even read the other posts
I understand what you are going through, having been through it TWICE - long story, I refused to be the 'other woman' both times. You have to change the way you think about this man. Maybe your brother did bring him into your life for a reason, to help you grieve and to show you some of the qualities that you want in a man - but at this time, this is not the man for you. It is very difficult to let go. I still wonder sometimes if I did the right thing by walking away, but I could not sleep at night knowing that I destroyed someone's relationship. For history, the first instance was my high school sweetheart. He went into the Army. We wrote letters all the time and talked about marriage. So, imagine my shock when he brought home a woman he'd met while in the Army. I had one conversation with him after that. I asked him if he was happy and he said he didn't know. He couldn't be sure if he'd done the right thing by being with this other person and not me. I KNOW I could've stepped in and he would've left her. But would it have lasted? Would he eventually regret what he'd done? After all, we were different people. So, I told him that I could not talk to him any more. It was too hard. If things didn't work out with this other person, I told him he could call me any time. He is now married to this woman and I pray that he is happy. I made the right choice, as much as it hurt to let go, and that is what you have to do.
When I read these other posts...
No kidding, Natalie.
Whenever I read the posts from forum members who are trapped in an unhappy, sometimes downright abusive domestic situation, I look over at my boyfriend and silently give thanks for hitting the jackpot with him.
The horror stories I've read on this forum about some of these men make me appreciate every single little thing he does for me (and makes me wish every forum member could find the happiness I was lucky enough to find).
The good ones ARE out there, ladies, they really are. You just have to keep opening up those Pandora's boxes until you unexpectedly come across the buried treasure!!!
I have read the above posts and really,
I am not stupid, do not need a shrink, am not in the least bit of trouble with any debtors, no one ever calls my home about a bill. I have spent money, sure, but have sold a zero lawnmower (have several left) no longer needed (4,000 for that), have only monthly small bills like electricity, water, no house payments, no car payments, nothing other than the credit card. I take several trips a year, nothing new to do for me and intend on this year also. My trips are paid in increments over several months so by the time the last payment is due, I have not paid thousands in a month in order to go. I say I spend a lot, nothing wrong with that but I am intending to pay down the credit card starting in May or so and can then throw at least $500.00 a month or more towards that. What I do now is pay what is due and the interest charge. Some months I pay extra on that. There is nothing wrong with spending really. The bad thing is when you are in debt above your ears. That is not the case here. I have been entirely out of debt several times and this will be no exception. I have no clue as to what common sense has to do with someone who spends a lot (if they can afford to).
If you had read my posts you would know
I am not only complaining of the reversed names. I am tired of trying to make something halfway close to words that we use with English that they are trying to do and very poorly. Thank goodness I could throw in the towel tomorrow if I get so ticked off I just do not want to ever hear again. Most do not have that option.
did you read my other posts? sm
am i supposed to leave him alone when he is having stomach aches every single morning because he doesn't want to go to school? (this has happened in the past too, but after a while he got over it). he won't eat at school (for two months now, at the beginning of school he was fine about eating at school). i don't want him to worry himself so much he develops an ulcer. i'm offended at your comment. i love my son very much and only want him to feel better. him feeling anxious about going to school to the point it makes him throw up in the morning, i don't think that's normal. he feels anxious about going to wal-mart, toys r us, hunting stores. is that normal too?
sorry, you hit a nerve with me.
i don't think i will comment any more about my son with this board.
thanks to the other people who seemed concerned and wish us well.
Apparently you did not read all of her posts
either.
katie, if you read all the posts...
i think you would have to agree that it was more than a difference of opinion. the posts came across as genuine anger and lashing out.
i stand by my opinion that his/her lashing out did not originate with a tv show, that it went much deeper. i dont care to know the specifics, only pray that it gets resolved.
and that is just MY opinion!
well, I did happen to read all of the posts, and --sm
I just don't see where there was anger and lashing out, but that's just me.
and why do you read posts you have no interest in?
Perhaps no life? Grow up!
That is one of the nicest posts I have ever read on
MTStars. Thanks so much for sharing. It truly is more blessed to give than to receive. 
I can read the posts but it takes
about 15-20 seconds after you click on the post before it comes up. From NJ, Optimum online service.
I've read some of the posts
If indeed this guy has a criminal record, specifically for drugs - which you should verify the proper way through your local sheriff's office or clerk's office - I don't think you would be wrong to tell your daughter that she's not allowed to go anywhere with him. Just be prepared that she may seriously rebel! But you are right, if they're in a car together and he has drugs in the car, she could get arrested too. I would explain that to her and tell her that is your reasoning behind your decision. Yes, teenagers will do what they want most of the time anyway, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't try. My mother had the attitude of 'well you'll just do it anyway' so I was allowed to do pretty much whatever I wanted. I do NOT recommend that method! :)
Blondie, have read your posts before sm..
You sound like a very good person, very caring. I was in the same situation once with a neighbor's dog. He would go to Canada hunting and just leave his dog tied to a dog house in mid-winter in New England and I would take her into my home, feed her, keep her warm and all. This neighbor today I can say with full confidence was borderline-retarded without a doubt. I am so glad I did this. I even at one time went to the dog pound and claimed this dog who had gotten loose and said it was my own. I could not let this poor dog suffer because of its owner. All I can say is do what is in your heart, it may cost you a few dollars more but think of it is abandoned children and you are there for them. Take a good look at this guy and truly ask yourself is he is capable of the love and caring you have in your heart. I know times are tough, but perhaps you are the one who is meant to save these poor animals. Sounds like this guy is either not the sharpest tool in the shed or something else wrong with him. Does he have enough money for beer or etc., and not his dogs? Then he doesn't deserve them! Think hard about the dogs and what would happen to them if it were not for you. You are a very nice person. I hope you find an answer. As for your husband, only you can answer that question. I think he should at least stick up for you and address his dumb friend as to what his responsibility is in the situation. Good luck, Blondie, you are a sweetheart to put up with all this, and I am sure the dogs are in a better place with you. Do you have an SPCA or someone who could help with the food? Perhaps online you can find a way to make your own food suitable for dogs at a reasonable price. May God be with you. Perhaps you are meant to care for dogs in some way that would be beneficial to you in other ways. God bless you for caring. 
Try to re-read the above couple of posts
about material things. It matters not if it's yours or your husbands (a little weird to me to begin with if you're married). I think you're missing the point.
You need to read my posts more carefully.
That's exactly what I'm saying. When tonsils get infected, they do more harm than good and should be removed. I am saying that there's no corresponding indication to remove a normal, healthy, non-infected foreskin.
And incidentally, foreskin serves a protective function as well.
not any poster in this thread but yesterday I read....
Just for everyone's info......I read all over the newswires yesterday that cigarette companies from 1998 to 2005 upped the nicotine in cigarettes 11 percent!!!! OMG! That was AFTER the class-action lawsuit had been filed and settled!! What nerve of them......the cig companies
I can post today, but I can't read any posts. Anyone else
s
Hey, I didn't read all the posts below but sm for suggestion
Can't help ya with the subway system. I think newbies are all in the same scary boat, but internet could help.
My suggestion is one of those suitcase things on wheels that he can pull. Maybe one of those and then some sort of satchel/mailbag/backpack also.
Seems kind of cruel for this company to throw him to the wolves like that. They should be able to offer a little guidance??
Anyhow, I can't even imagine how you feel. I live in a college town with both kids in their 20s and every time they leave the house, I'm afraid they're going to get lost LOL. So I can only imagine your anxiety.
Try to help him look at it as a challenge rather than something he's going to dread. Once he gets to know the ropes, all should be fine.
Hang in there :-)
I have read all the posts below in answer to your question (sm)
and I believe your main problem lies in getting him to go to the doctor (I have one of those myself - he will probably die at home because he won't go) and in your case, he doesn't see any symptoms, so why should he go? I sympathize. It seems it might have to be something drastic to make him go. Are there other family members who might be able to help you convince him? A bribe of any kind that might work? Good luck with this. I hope you can get him to go. Sending good thoughts your way.
It's therapy. At least for me it is. I don't mind it. Just don't read the posts if you know
they will bother you. I'm sorry to be so rude, but you can't dictate what other people posts unless it's religion or politics. If you start getting into the media and bad news, then you are really censoring the board and you don't want to do that.
Edgy posts are here, just have to be quick to read them as they
x
You really need to learn to read before answering posts
She NOR her husband initiated this contact - it is related to sports. Don't insult people when you yourself don't have all the facts. It makes you look like a foolish bully.
Good for you! To read your posts, it really sounds - (sm)
like something has happened with her, since this is a change of character for her. You said she was an awesome friend for many years, and she probably was. But something happened to change that. It could be any one of many reasons, too: Drug habit, early dementia/Alzheimer's, schizophrenia, even a brain tumor. The latter sounds very possible. I wonder what her husband thinks about all this. He seems like a pretty decent guy. Depending on how you view his friendship, you may or may not want to discuss the problem with him. Maybe he needs to get her to a doctor.
I think you were lucky when he offered to do the work on your house for a low price, and DIDN'T screw it up. So many times, you hear horror stories about such things. So the fact that he did the work, and it turned out well, sounds like you have an asset in his continued friendship. BUT, you of course want nothing more to do with the wife.
The easiest thing would probably be to just cut all ties with them both, but I still have this feeling the husband is a good guy. He could be caught in the middle of all this. Or in denial that the lady has a serious mental problem going on. It would also be interesting to know WHY she lost her job. The mental issue could very likely be the reason.
Anyway, I think you were very wise to change the locks! ;D
I read all the comments and I agree with the poster who wrote
'One has to teach people how to treat you' and one has to tell people what is imoportant to oneself.
It is inexcusable not to call or meet one's mother for mother's day and Christmas, etc.....
Many posts hafta read fast cause they are pulled if
x
Poster did not give the ride. Why can't people read something and make an
effort to understand the whole issue before spouting off?
Moderator needs to see, unable to read posts and I am with Bellsouth, not comcast
Nothing here I guess
Chia, Chia, oh you gotta read the posts more carefully
I said getting jackets -not coats and fleece jackets at that, spread over 4 months (from debit card) of $7.50 per month). I don't know of any store I can go in and buy a jacket for around $7 using my debit card and they let me spread over 4 months. Oh, I wear them around my home all the time in the winter to give extra warmth so this is not a frivilous buy. You might say with wearing the jackets actually cutting down on my heating bill. The people who lived in my home prior to me had gas bill of over $300 per month, I keep the overall house lower temperature and my bill now around $140.00 a month.
I am "juvenile post" poster. "Looney" poster is some
x
Religious posts and political posts go to appropriate boards. NM
Goldbird
not poster you responded to but that poster has
everyone with different opinions is allowed to post here and poster said they were making a contribution in the name of pro-peace....give that poster a break please....
If I don't read before I go to sleep I can't fall asleep. I will read sm
until I begin to fall asleep. They say reading relaxes you fully and it works wonders for me.
I used to suffer from insomnia, but not since I've been doing this - about 5 years now.
Plus, I've grown so much and have gained wisdom by doing so. I enjoy Christian books and reading the Bible.
ya got that right! Poster DOES know or else she
She is 54 after all.............not a baby, not a young adult/teen who really needs guidance.
She knows this is DEAD wrong but appears to be *seeking* something from all of us, as she said she was posting *in a safe place*............meaning here on the forum.
We know right from wrong from FIVE YEARS OLD on..........she knows what she is doing is most wrong/incorrect.
I just think she is craving attention, personally.........
I will go along with the poster below who --sm
said she was *dressed*. Actually quite a personal question and no one else's business what I wear or when. I notice you didn't answer your own question, either.
If it is the same poster, she is only doing sm
400 lines in 8 hours. I guess anything is better than that. That isn't even minimum wage. If it is her, then she definitely needs a new career. 400 lines in 8 hours is ridiculous. I do 400 lines an hour. These career is only for the hardy ones.
this has nothing to do with what the poster is asking....
nm
The poster was right....
you can't change your dad, just stay happy. But, you could invite your parents to go to church with your family - if they say no, just tell them the invitation is open at any time. You could also just cheerfully mention to your Dad that you saw such and such a job in the newspaper and thought it was something he might be interested in looking into.
You're wise enough to know you can't change another person, but you can give him a little encouragement - plant a seed and see if it grows.
Happy Trails to you.
But you would have if you could have, and above poster did try (sm)
So why are you both saying parents don't owe their kids help with getting through college? Poster A tried to help hers and jlynn would have helped hers if she could.
As the poster below said...if you are..
having a tough time making it financially, maybe there are better job choices out there for you. My point was that most people who whine about having no money usually have the brand new car or two and the payments, a huge mortgage, the latest tech gear, etc. We have a lot of nice things, all paid for, but we took our time getting them. We save where we can, but we aren't letting gas prices or grocery prices change our lifestyle that much and the reason we can do that is because we only have a mortgage to pay. We have made a decision that whatever we want to buy we will either save and pay cash for or charge it and pay it off the next month. As you get older you realize stuff is just stuff, it comes and goes, and the less you can get by on the better.
PS! The poster below was right about UTI's -
I lost my previous cat (a 4-year-old male) to acute kidney failure brought on by an obstructed urinary tract. In addition to being a male, which put him at higher risk, he was also a Persian, which get this more frequently than other breeds), and he ate ONLY dry cat food. Just would not touch any kind of wet food. Although I normally only fed him high-quality food by Royal Canin, I also made the mistake of letting him have Meow-Mix as a treat occasionally, for a change. That brand has apparently messed up other cats' pH balances, and I'll always wonder if I killed him by feeding him Meow Mix....
Although he never peed outside his litter box, he did start to pee more often, and in less and less amounts. It had been happening very gradually over about a week, and at the time I hadn't really noticed it. It was only in retrospect that I remembered... AFTER it was too late. Even though he was nearly dead when he was brought in, the emergency after-hours vet clinic saved his life the first time, and for a month he was completely back to normal! But then, overnight, it came back, and the next morning I found him lying in his litter box (another warning sign!) The second time at the vet's, they said the toxins from the first episode the month before had backed up into his system and basically destroyed his kidneys, so at that point I had him put to sleep.
So, long story short, especially with a male cat, don't take any chances, and be sure to have your vet check him out. Be sure he's eating at least SOME canned (wet) cat food, and if possible, it might be wise to eliminate dry food altogether. If you do feed dry food, be sure it's a top-quality brand (with NO ingredients from China!)
Once again, good luck and best wishes!
I'm poster from above... (it's possible)
You know the spots you see in pictures sometimes? You think it's sunlight or whatever... Well we took a family pic (SIL took the pic) and there was a huge spot. My son told me he learned about Spirit Orbs at school. Well, I think the Orb was my mother. I'm sorry, but it just seemed weird to me that this would appear in this manner. We lost my Mom about 2 years ago. The kids were very attached to her. She's here in spirit; my son said I think that Orb is MeMe (that's what they called her).
Also, my son (he's 14) had a dream right after her death that she saw my Mom (looked like me) and my Dad (looked like my brother) dancing. He said they looked young and MeMe told him "don't worry, I'm in good hands." My Dad died about 13 years ago (my son was only 5 months old). So, you see, kids deal and see things different.
Your son probably does see images or what he perceives as ghosts and it frightens him because he is so young.
The sleeping arrangements in your household is your business. Whatever works. I used to sleep with my Mom when my Dad worked nights, and I was probably in junior high at the time. My Dad worked shift work.
The above poster is right
My brother went through this. He had to take half of his wife's credit card debt. But what you can do is contact the credit card company, after the divorce is final, and ask how much they are willing to settle the account for. He settled a 14,000 credit care bill for 9,000, if he paid it within 10 days of making the agreement with them. His wife and her attorney were pretty mad, but there was nothing they could do. She kept wanting him to just give her the money and let her pay the bill, she probably already knew what they were going to settle for and thought she could pocket the 5000.00. The credit card company showed the account as paid in full satisfactorily. Assets will be split including any pensions, 401K, etc., as well as cars, boats, property, any of that stuff. You can trade off on things, for instance not touch his 401K if you get _____?? and so on.
As for the kids, there will be a set visitation schedule which you both work out and the court approves of. If he doesn't follow it or if he doesn't return the kids, than he is in contempt of court. If there are problems during the divorce, the court will set up a schedule for visitations during that period if needed.
One more tip I learned. You want the best attorney you can get. If you don't know any, ask a cop or a few if you can. LOL, they know who the good ones are and who they would call if they needed one. They're in court and around the courthouse and know how things happen. Ask more than one person and get some opinions before you retain a lawyer. It sounds like you already know he's not going to be nice about this. Don't be overly nice about it either or he'll try to take advantage.
I don't think the poster is looking for
Family friendly. She went to "Couples" Negril. Sandals and Beaches are great if you don't mind family vacations.
lol actually i said it under the first poster!
because like you i work a lot and sometimes can only catch shows once in awhile... THe office is one that i love but dont get to watch often enough cause of work.
it is so up my alley of humor. but then again im easily amused.
I hate not following every week though you know. i never thought about renting seasons or anything cause i definitely dont have an extended period of time to just sit and watch TV... too much other stuff to be doing but you are totally right, it's a good one!!!
I will ask you as I did another poster above
I know for a fact your 401K probably very much dinged along with the rest of investments unless it is a bank 401K in which there are no problems there. Having 50K in the bank is ok and like you I am 100% debt free (except for my home). Our family was close to the working poor when I was growing up and did not even own a car. I never knew we were that close to poverty, though. I have only lived in my new home around 5 years now and already have it from over 200,000 to down under 90,000 so now a big majority of the payment going not just on interest. I was heading towards danger when I financed at first with interest only. Learned a lesson real fast with that and refinanced to what I call real payments. With my being independent now I am planning to see how to set up automatic payments to the IRS so that will go straight there every so many months and will not miss it.
The poster below just does not get it
My father took out a policy on his work site in the 50s. There were only 2 children that belonged to him, my brother and myself. We were young children in the 50s. No one had any names of people we were to marry in the future, no names of grandchildren to be born in the future. Gosh, he was not psychic. He was married to my stepmom sometime in the 50s, I don’t know when but the stepmom had died 2 years before my father. My brother married (before his death in 1973), had 2 children. When my father died in 2004 the insurance company had names of my brother, his children's names, their last known address, somewhere in Knoxville, I had never visited there so had no addresses. I gave them the information I knew. It was up to the insurance company to find anyone this money belonged to. I had remarried and yet they contacted me. My name was not the same name when my father died but hello, they found me. I have no idea why Jan is so bent out of shape over this. She talks like you can just rush in and take what is not yours. I had no dealings with my brother, his family at all for years and years. You know, sometimes people just get lost. I was contacted back in approximately 1987 about getting a nephew out of a jail in Georgia that I knew nothing about. Fast forward to 2004, the year my father died, 17 years later and I had heard nothing else from the SIL, their son, their daughter since 1987. Now I hope Jan can give it a rest.
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