your parenting style is really bordering on abuse

• Message to Mom of 3 below. - Sophie
  • Expectations - Mom of 3
    • You are definitely over the top on expectations - sm - XXX
      • I almost emailed my post back to you, but feared your husband would read this! so, here it is sm - Me too
        • I dropped you a line by the way, and yes -sm - XXX
    • Calling when going somewhere and letting you know - Wannie
    • "If you expect less than perfection, that is what you'll get?" - You don't deserve to have kids, lady
    • your parenting style is really bordering on abuse - mt
    • I can't believe you just wrote it's not okay for your kids to make mistakes. - lady, you are absolutely flippin' nuts!!!!
  • I went down below and read all the posts regarding this poster and her way of sm - Also, mom of 3 boys here
    • I, too, am with you on this - was raised by someone.. - like the poster......sm
      • You are so right...my mother was a perfectionist - sm
        • I wish I wasn't right actually.....my mom was....sm - like the poster......sm
    • I'm with you on this. While I know we all have - Wannie
      • EXACTLY Wannie!-I couldn't have said it better - like the poster......nm

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Is that a step away from the school calling the CPS?  I visited my aunt at a resturant she was telling me about her children's children.  She said the 12 yo was acting up really bad in school and he is about to get thrown out.  Every word out of that woman's mouth was it is because the DIL won't.... or the DIL doesn't........  Aunt has the kids more than the DIL does and she is constantly critising the DIL on everything.  She had their 2 yo son with her and he started grunting obviously messing his diaper and she hit him on the nose (not hard) and said STOP!  Then he threw up and she covered his mouth as if to stop him and it did not work and somehow that was all DIL fault also.   DIL would tell aunt what the pedi said and aunt disagrees that the pedi don't know what they are talking about, that she raised 3 boys and they were going to do things her way.  She disagrees with what the parenting classes are teaching.  You spank kids and spank them hard, she ran around with a hairbrush and a fly swatter when her kids were little.  Her DIL called me one night in tears because at some family function aunt started in on her and saying that she is incompetant and she needed aunt and DIL threw her plate of food at her. Aunt got peturbed because DIl was feeding her then 1 year-old cheerios.  I told the DIL that there is a government programs out there that can help her pay for childcare that she does not need to rely aunt.  I got the number from my daycare director and gave it to her.  She never called.  I had also told the DIL that she better start listening to the school and to the pedis and not the aunt because she is the one responsible for those kids and if aunt does something they are going to hold her responsible.  The aunt won't let her use anyone but her.  She is very bossy and the matriarch of the family.  I had offered to keep the kids on weekends but I am not good enough either.  I don't make my kids mind and aunt would have to work to hard undoing everything I did.  Funny, the school told me that whatever I was doing with my 5 year old to do it again with my 18 month old.  The DIL and son are mentally handicapped, both were in special education class in high school and both are janitors of the school which is probably the best job they will ever get.   Think they would do well though and their kids would thrive better if they had a better support system.  I wished there was something I could do to help but they did not want any of my help. I just don't like to go around them anymore.  I have turned down every offer my aunt had to watch my children.  No way.   

I loved it and it was so easy.  But my sisters say they won't be seen in public with me if I do it.

He is so smart.  I got his first grade card a couple of weeks ago, 2 Fs (Science and Computer Lit) and a D+ in English.  The rest of his grades were acceptable.  The problem isn't that he doesn't understand the subject matter in these classes, but that he simply doesn't do the work, doesn't turn in homework assignments, NOTHING! 

I started having trouble with him last year and he barely passed the 7th grade.  Now, here it is the beginning of a new school year and he's doing the exact same thing.  He's grounded, of course, but that doesn't seem to make a difference to him.  Last night his English teacher called to tell me he hasn't turned in any assignments since the beginning of the new quarter, that he simply sits there at his desk doing nothing while the rest of the class works.  She said he seems to be easily distracted.

When I talk to him about school, he gives me attitude.  Last night after I hung up with the English teacher, I was very angry, and proceeded to ground him longer and took away his IPod.  He had the audacity to say "mom, you're really making me mad (only he didn't say "making me mad").  I took step toward him because I was about ready to slap his disrespectiful mouth and he said "you better not lay a hand on me."  He threatened me!  So I basically took a deep breath and said "son you do not want to take me on."  And then I proceeded to tell him that he would be staying after school with his English teacher until further notice and that I will be picking him up every day after school to make sure he brings home all his books and homework.

I don't know what else to do.  I have asked his teachers to keep me informed via email cause I'm always at my computer during the day.  His Science teacher just emailed me and said he didn't turn in his assignment today.  After all that last night and he STILL didn't turn in his assignment!

I tried to be understanding because he's at a new school in a new town, but socially he's happier than I've seen him in a long time.  He has made a bunch of new friends, he's planning on going out for the basketball team.  At first I tried to blame his attitude problems on the move and the new school, but he was doing the exact same thing last year at his old school.  His dad and I have separated and maybe that has something to do with it, but life has been less stressful without his dad here, even my son has said so.

Please give me some advice.  I've thought about talking to the school counseling, going to family counseling, having my son see a therapist.  I just don't know what to do.  I feel like I'm failing as a parent here and I don't know what to do.

Thanks for letting me spill my guts.

Introduction

A total eclipse of the Moon occurs during the night of Wednesday, February 20/21, 2008. The entire event is visible from South America and most of North America (on Feb. 20) as well as Western Europe, Africa, and western Asia (on Feb. 21). During a total lunar eclipse, the Moon's disk can take on a dramatically colorful appearance from bright orange to blood red to dark brown and (rarely) very dark gray.

An eclipse of the Moon can only take place at Full Moon, and only if the Moon passes through some portion of Earth's shadow. The shadow is actually composed of two cone-shaped parts, one nested inside the other. The outer shadow or penumbra is a zone where Earth blocks some (but not all) of the Sun's rays. In contrast, the inner shadow or umbra is a region where Earth blocks all direct sunlight from reaching the Moon.

If only part of the Moon passes through the umbra, a partial eclipse is seen. However, if the entire Moon passes through the umbral shadow, then a total eclipse of the Moon occurs. For more information on how, what, why, where and when of lunar eclipses, see the special web page lunar eclipses for beginners.

Lunar Eclipse Diagrams

The following diagrams show the Moon's path through Earth's shadows (higher resolution versions of the above figure). The times of major stages of the eclipse are given for a number of time zones in North America. Please choose the diagram for your own time zone. Each diagram is a GIF file with a size of about 100k.

• Eclipse Diagram for AST (Atlantic Standard Time)
  
• Eclipse Diagram for EST (Eastern Standard Time)
  
• Eclipse Diagram for CST (Central Standard Time)
  
• Eclipse Diagram for MST (Mountain Standard Time)
  
• Eclipse Diagram for PST (Pacific Standard Time)
  
• Eclipse Diagram for AST (Alaska Standard Time)
  
• Eclipse Diagram for HST (Hawaiian Standard Time)
  
  
  
• Eclipse Diagram for GMT (Greenwich Mean Time)
  
• Eclipse Diagram for GMT +1 (Greenwich Mean Time + 1 Hour)
  
• Eclipse Diagram for GMT +2 (Greenwich Mean Time + 2 Hours)

Some people may be puzzled that the Moon's motion is from west to east (right to left) in these diagrams, instead of its daily east to west (left to right) motion in the sky. However, the Moon actually moves WEST to EAST (right to left in the Northern Hemisphere) with respect to the Earth's shadow and the stars.

Times and Phases of the Total Lunar Eclipse of February 20/21, 2008

From start to finish, February's lunar eclipse lasts about three hours and twenty-six minutes (not including the penumbral phases which are very difficult to see). The partial eclipse begins as the Moon's eastern edge slowly moves into the Earth's umbral shadow. During the partial phases, it takes just over an hour for the Moon's orbital motion to carry it entirely within the Earth's dark umbra. The color and brightness of the totally eclipsed Moon can vary considerably from one eclipse to another. Dark eclipses are caused by volcanic gas and dust which filters and blocks much of the Sun's light from reaching the Moon. But since no major volcanic eruptions have taken place recently, the Moon will probably take on a vivid red or orange color during the total phase. After the total phase ends, it is once again followed by a partial eclipse as the Moon gradually leaves the umbral shadow.

The total phase of a lunar eclipse is called totality. At this time, the Moon is completely immersed within the Earth's dark umbral shadow. During the February 20 eclipse totality will last just under 50 minutes. This is quite a bit less than the last total lunar eclipse ( August 28, 2007) which lasted 90 minutes.

The major phases of the eclipse occur as follows (all times are GMT or Greenwich Mean Time). The partial eclipse commences with first umbral contact at 01:43 GMT. Totality begins at 03:01 GMT and lasts until 03:51 GMT. The partial phases end at 05:09 GMT. Eclipse times for time zones in the United States and Canada are shown in the following table.

The table above provides times of the major eclipse phases for North American time zones and Greenwich Mean Time (GMT). Eclipse times for other time zones can be calculated by taking the difference between local time and Greenwich and adding it to the tabulated GMT times.

To determine the Moon's altitude at each stage of the eclipse as seen from your city or location, see Javascript Lunar Eclipse Explorer. This web page allows you to calculate the viewing circumstances of all lunar eclipses visible from your city over a five-thosuand year period.

Visibility of the Total Lunar Eclipse of February 20, 2008

February's lunar eclipse is well-placed for North and South America as well as Europe and Africa. Observers along North America's west coast miss the early stages of the partial eclipse because it begins before moon rise. Alaskans in Anchorage and Fairbanks experience moonrise during totality but bright evening twilight will make it difficult for sourdoughs to view the event. Western Europe and northwest Africa also see the entire eclipse. Further to the east (east Africa and central Asia), the Moon sets before the eclipse ends. None of the eclipse is visible from eastern Asia or Australia.

Preceeding and following the eclipse are hour-long penumbral phases but these are faint and quite difficult to see. The more interesting and photogenic partial and total phases always take center stage to the penumbral phases.

The map above shows the geographic regions of visibility for each phase of the eclipse. The entire eclipse is visible from start to finish in the white (unshaded) portion of the map, while none of the eclipse can be seen from the dark gray areas.

For anyone located in the blue shaded region labeled Eclipse at Moonset, this means that the Moon will set while some phase of the eclipse is already in progress. The contact curves labeled P1, U1, U2, U3, U4, and P4 represent each phase of the eclipse (see the key above). If you are east (right) of a particular curve, that phase occurs after moonset and you will not see it. However, if you are west (left) of a curve, that phase occurs before moonset and you will see it (weather permitting).

For example, on the above map Turkey lies west (left) of the U3 curve (total eclipse end) and east (right) of the curve U4 (partial eclipse ends). This means that from this region, the Moon sets during the partial phases following totality.

For observers located within the second blue shaded region labeled Eclipse at Moonrise, the situation is reversed. Here the Moon rises while some phase of the eclipse is already in progress. If you are west (left) of a particular curve (P1, U1, U2, U3, U4, or P4), that phase occurs before moonrise and you will not see it. However, if you are east (right) of a contact curve, that phase occurs after moonrise and you will see it (weather permitting).

All total eclipses start with a penumbral followed by a partial eclipse, and end with a partial followed by a penumbral eclipse (the total eclipse is sandwiched in the middle). Since the penumbral phases of the eclipse are so difficult to see, we will ignore them.

At the instant of mid-totality (03:37 GMT), the Moon will lie in the zenith for observers in French Guiana. At this time, the umbral eclipse magnitude peaks at 1.1062.

From the diagram above, it is clear that the northern (top) edge of the Moon will dip much deeper into the Earth's shadow than will the southern (bottom) edge. Since the Earth's umbral shadow is darker in the center than at the edge, the Moon's appearance will likely change dramatically with time. A large variation in shadow brightness can be expected and observers are encouraged to estimate the Danjon value at different times during totality ( Danjon Brightness Scale). Note that it may also be necessary to assign different Danjon values to different portions of the Moon at different times.

This could be an excellent opportunity for budding astronomers and students to test their observing skills. Try recording your estimates of the Moon's brightness every ten minutes during totality using the Danjon Scale. Compare your results with your companions and classmates and discover how the Moon's appearance changes during the total eclipse. The brightness of the totally eclipsed Moon is very sensitive to the presence of volcanic dust in Earth's atmosphere. As part of a continuing research project, Dr. Richard Keen has been using reports of lunar eclipse brightnesses to calculate a history of optical thicknesses of volcanic dust layers (see: What Will 2004's Lunar Eclipses Look Like?). If you'd like to help Dr. Keen by making eclipse observations, you can contact him at Richard.Keen@Colorado.EDU.

The amount of dust and sulfur dioxide in Earth's atmosphere also has an effect on the diameter of the umbral shadow. Amateur astronomers with telescopes can make careful timings of when some of the Moon's major craters enter or exit the umbra. Such observations are valuable in determining the enlargement of Earth's shadow. A table of crater predictions identifies twenty well-defined craters useful for this purpose. For more information, see: Crater Timings During Lunar Eclipses.

An eclipse of the Moon also presents a tempting subject to photograph. Since the Moon appears quite small in the sky, you'll need a fairly powerful telephoto lens (400 mm or more) or even a small telescope to attach to your camera. A typical ISO 400 speed (either digital or film) is a good choice. For more information on equipment, film, recommended exposures and additional tips, see lunar eclipse photography.

Unlike solar eclipses, lunar eclipses are completely safe to watch. Protective filters are not necessary and neither is a telescope. A lunar eclipse can be observed with nothing more than the naked eye. However, a pair of binoculars will magnify the view and make the red coloration brighter and easier to see. A standard pair of 7x35 or 7x50 binoculars is sufficient.

During the eclipse, the Moon will be in Leo. Saturn and bright star Regulus are only 3 degrees east and west, respectively, of the Moon. Geminii, Orion, Taurus and other winter constellations will occupy the south and western sky for North American eclipse watchers. viewers.

Although total eclipses of the Moon are of limited scientific value, they are remarkably beautiful events which do not require expensive equipment. They help to cultivate interest in science and astronomy in children and to provide a unique learning opportunity for families, students and teachers. To the nature lover and naturalist, the lunar eclipse can be appreciated and celebrated as an event which vividly illustrates our place among the planets in the solar system. The three dimensional reality of our universe comes alive in a graceful celestial ballet as the Moon swings through the Earth's shadow. Hope for clear skies, dress warmly and enjoy the show!

Eclipse Frequency and Future Eclipses

During the five millennium period from 2000 BC through AD 3000, there are 7,718 eclipses[1] of the Moon (including both partial and total eclipses). From 0 to 3 lunar eclipses (partial or total) occur each year. The last time three total lunar eclipses occurred in one calendar year was in 1982. On average, partial eclipses slightly outnumber total eclipses by 7 to 6[2].

[1] Only eclipses where the Moon passes through Earth's umbral shadow are included in these values. A minor type of eclipse is the penumbral eclipse which occurs when the Moon passes through the Earth's faint penumbral shadow. Penumbral eclipses are rarely discernible to the naked eye and are of lesser importance than umbral eclipses.

[2] Penumbral eclipses are excluded from these statistics.

The last total lunar eclipse visible from the entire continental United States occurred on August 28, 2007. North Americans will have their next opportunity to see a total lunar eclipse on 2010 Dec 21.

The table below lists every lunar eclipse from 2007 through 2012. Click on the eclipse Date to see a map and diagram of an eclipse. Although penumbral lunar eclipses are included in this list, they are usually quite difficult to observe because of their subtlety. The penumbra is a partial shadow which still permits some direct sunlight to reach the Moon.

The Umbral Eclipse Magnitude is the fraction on the Moon's diameter immersed in the umbra at maximum eclipse. For values of 1.0 or greater, the eclipse is total. For negative values, the eclipse is penumbral. The Total Duration is the duration of the total phase (total eclipses only).

Geographic abreviations (used above): n = north, s = south, e = east, w = west, c = central

Web Resources

• More on February's eclipse: sunearth.gsfc.nasa.gov/eclipse/OH/OH2008.html
  
• Lunar Eclipses from 1991 to 2000: sunearth.gsfc.nasa.gov/eclipse/LEcat/LEdecade1991.html
  
• Lunar Eclipses from 2001 to 2010: sunearth.gsfc.nasa.gov/eclipse/LEcat/LEdecade2001.html
  
• Lunar Eclipses from 2011 to 2020: sunearth.gsfc.nasa.gov/eclipse/LEcat/LEdecade2011.html
  
• 5,000 Year Catalog of Lunar Eclipses: sunearth.gsfc.nasa.gov/eclipse/LEcat/LEcatalog.html
  
• Lunar Eclipses of Historical Interest: sunearth.gsfc.nasa.gov/eclipse/LEhistory/LEhistory.html
  
  
  
• Sky & Telescope - Lunar Eclipse
  
  
  
• How to Photograph a Lunar Eclipse
  
• Lunar Eclipse Photography
  
  
  
• IOTA Occultations - predictions of occultations of faint stars during the eclipse
  
• More Lunar Eclipse Photography

References

• Espenak, F., 1989, Fifty Year Canon of Lunar Eclipses: 1986-2035, Sky Publishing Corp., Cambridge, MA.
  
• Espenak, F., 2006, "Eclipses During 2007", Observer's Handbook - 2007, Royal Astronomical Society of Canada, Toronto, Ontario.

Reproduction of Eclipse Data

All eclipse calculations are by Fred Espenak, and he assumes full responsibility for their accuracy. Permission is freely granted to reproduce this data when accompanied by the following acknowledgment:

"Eclipse Predictions by Fred Espenak, NASA's GSFC"

For more information, see: NASA Copyright Information

Call your local shelter and they will advise you on ways to leave safely. NEVER take abuse - physically, verbally, or mentally from anyone. Forget the church kid, learn to love yourself, and lead by example for your children. If you act like a doormat, do not be suprised when you get stepped on!

You need a long time on your own before you are ready to think about entering another relationship. You are not out of your present relationship yet, but you can be if that is your decision. Best wishes to you.

Lilly