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You really need to learn to read before answering posts

Posted By: Can you read? on 2009-04-03
In Reply to: I am guessing by - your response to me

She NOR her husband initiated this contact - it is related to sports. Don't insult people when you yourself don't have all the facts. It makes you look like a foolish bully.


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www.starfall.com is a fun Learn To Read site. :)
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I have read all of the posts here and --sm
in my opinion, it is time to do what you have to do. She already has feelings against you, so what difference does it make. try to protect her as best as you can. protect your gd first and foremost. Get her some help, for YOUR peace of mind. God knows what you have done to help in your lifetime. Do not worry about your siblings or what anyone else might think. Do what you have to do..it is time. good luck to you, and God bless.
Now that I read your posts..
I'm figuring that's what my problem was. I had a tubal ligation after my third child 15 years ago.  I had endometrial ablation done last March because of heavy periods, which was the best thing I ever did.  It was to the point that I sometimes had to get up twice a night to change everything.  My doctor told me that I might need another ablation sometime down the road or maybe a hysterectomy eventually. 
I have not read through all these posts, but
I had a cat pee on my daughter's new bed and was horrified. We got urine gone from wal-mart and that fixed it totally. Hope you find a solution!
I can't read posts either...

Can't read posts either!

Before I even read the other posts
I understand what you are going through, having been through it TWICE - long story, I refused to be the 'other woman' both times. You have to change the way you think about this man. Maybe your brother did bring him into your life for a reason, to help you grieve and to show you some of the qualities that you want in a man - but at this time, this is not the man for you. It is very difficult to let go. I still wonder sometimes if I did the right thing by walking away, but I could not sleep at night knowing that I destroyed someone's relationship. For history, the first instance was my high school sweetheart. He went into the Army. We wrote letters all the time and talked about marriage. So, imagine my shock when he brought home a woman he'd met while in the Army. I had one conversation with him after that. I asked him if he was happy and he said he didn't know. He couldn't be sure if he'd done the right thing by being with this other person and not me. I KNOW I could've stepped in and he would've left her. But would it have lasted? Would he eventually regret what he'd done? After all, we were different people. So, I told him that I could not talk to him any more. It was too hard. If things didn't work out with this other person, I told him he could call me any time. He is now married to this woman and I pray that he is happy. I made the right choice, as much as it hurt to let go, and that is what you have to do.
When I read these other posts...
No kidding, Natalie.

Whenever I read the posts from forum members who are trapped in an unhappy, sometimes downright abusive domestic situation, I look over at my boyfriend and silently give thanks for hitting the jackpot with him.

The horror stories I've read on this forum about some of these men make me appreciate every single little thing he does for me (and makes me wish every forum member could find the happiness I was lucky enough to find).

The good ones ARE out there, ladies, they really are. You just have to keep opening up those Pandora's boxes until you unexpectedly come across the buried treasure!!!


I have read the above posts and really,
I am not stupid, do not need a shrink, am not in the least bit of trouble with any debtors, no one ever calls my home about a bill. I have spent money, sure, but have sold a zero lawnmower (have several left) no longer needed (4,000 for that), have only monthly small bills like electricity, water, no house payments, no car payments, nothing other than the credit card. I take several trips a year, nothing new to do for me and intend on this year also. My trips are paid in increments over several months so by the time the last payment is due, I have not paid thousands in a month in order to go. I say I spend a lot, nothing wrong with that but I am intending to pay down the credit card starting in May or so and can then throw at least $500.00 a month or more towards that. What I do now is pay what is due and the interest charge. Some months I pay extra on that. There is nothing wrong with spending really. The bad thing is when you are in debt above your ears. That is not the case here. I have been entirely out of debt several times and this will be no exception. I have no clue as to what common sense has to do with someone who spends a lot (if they can afford to).
If you had read my posts you would know
I am not only complaining of the reversed names. I am tired of trying to make something halfway close to words that we use with English that they are trying to do and very poorly. Thank goodness I could throw in the towel tomorrow if I get so ticked off I just do not want to ever hear again. Most do not have that option.
did you read my other posts? sm
am i supposed to leave him alone when he is having stomach aches every single morning because he doesn't want to go to school? (this has happened in the past too, but after a while he got over it). he won't eat at school (for two months now, at the beginning of school he was fine about eating at school). i don't want him to worry himself so much he develops an ulcer. i'm offended at your comment. i love my son very much and only want him to feel better. him feeling anxious about going to school to the point it makes him throw up in the morning, i don't think that's normal. he feels anxious about going to wal-mart, toys r us, hunting stores. is that normal too?
sorry, you hit a nerve with me.

i don't think i will comment any more about my son with this board.

thanks to the other people who seemed concerned and wish us well.
I went down below and read all the posts regarding this poster and her way of sm
parenting. Although we have absolutely no right to tell her how to raise her children, I will say that I am concerned about this way of parenting and living in general. She reminds me A LOT of my sister in law who, mind you, is absolutely perfect. Her kids are perfect, her house is perfect, her yard is perfect, everything is so perfect in her world that it leaves absolutely NO ROOM for mistake, i.e., leaving your coat at home, forgetting your lunch, etc.

I can't stand to be around my sister in law for a nano second, much less Thanksgiving dinner. If you are not perfect and your kids are not perfect, well, behind your back she will talk about you ll day long about how difficult it must be to be you. When, in reality, everyone is thinking this about her. It literally makes my stomach turn at just the mere thought of her.

I don't know about you, but my closest friends are humble, make mistakes, are far from perfect, very forgiving (which my sister in law is not), and just giving in general.

Contrast the 2: The perfectionist who thinks she is teaching her kids responsibility by not helping then when they make a mistake, instead ruling with an iron fist so that "they will never do that again!" OR the nurturing mother who understands that children have short attention spans and can get caught up in moments and will forget their coat or their lunches once in a while and that it is our responsibility to help them and guide them along the way, teaching them love, forgiveness, and that it IS okay to make a mistake.

Honestly, I feel so sorry for my nieces and nephew because of the perfectionist spirit that my sister in law gives off. She really reminds me of Mom of 3 Children. Hey wait. Maybe they are the same person!
Apparently you did not read all of her posts
either.
katie, if you read all the posts...

i think you would have to agree that it was more than a difference of opinion.  the posts came across as genuine anger and lashing out. 


i stand by my opinion that his/her lashing out did not originate with a tv show, that it went much deeper.  i dont care to know the specifics, only pray that it gets resolved.


and that is just MY opinion!


well, I did happen to read all of the posts, and --sm
I just don't see where there was anger and lashing out, but that's just me.
and why do you read posts you have no interest in?
Perhaps no life? Grow up!
That is one of the nicest posts I have ever read on
MTStars.  Thanks so much for sharing.  It truly is more blessed to give than to receive.
I can read the posts but it takes
about 15-20 seconds after you click on the post before it comes up.  From NJ, Optimum online service.
I've read some of the posts
If indeed this guy has a criminal record, specifically for drugs - which you should verify the proper way through your local sheriff's office or clerk's office - I don't think you would be wrong to tell your daughter that she's not allowed to go anywhere with him. Just be prepared that she may seriously rebel! But you are right, if they're in a car together and he has drugs in the car, she could get arrested too. I would explain that to her and tell her that is your reasoning behind your decision. Yes, teenagers will do what they want most of the time anyway, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't try. My mother had the attitude of 'well you'll just do it anyway' so I was allowed to do pretty much whatever I wanted. I do NOT recommend that method! :)
Blondie, have read your posts before sm..
You sound like a very good person, very caring. I was in the same situation once with a neighbor's dog. He would go to Canada hunting and just leave his dog tied to a dog house in mid-winter in New England and I would take her into my home, feed her, keep her warm and all. This neighbor today I can say with full confidence was borderline-retarded without a doubt. I am so glad I did this. I even at one time went to the dog pound and claimed this dog who had gotten loose and said it was my own. I could not let this poor dog suffer because of its owner. All I can say is do what is in your heart, it may cost you a few dollars more but think of it is abandoned children and you are there for them. Take a good look at this guy and truly ask yourself is he is capable of the love and caring you have in your heart. I know times are tough, but perhaps you are the one who is meant to save these poor animals. Sounds like this guy is either not the sharpest tool in the shed or something else wrong with him. Does he have enough money for beer or etc., and not his dogs? Then he doesn't deserve them! Think hard about the dogs and what would happen to them if it were not for you. You are a very nice person. I hope you find an answer. As for your husband, only you can answer that question. I think he should at least stick up for you and address his dumb friend as to what his responsibility is in the situation. Good luck, Blondie, you are a sweetheart to put up with all this, and I am sure the dogs are in a better place with you. Do you have an SPCA or someone who could help with the food? Perhaps online you can find a way to make your own food suitable for dogs at a reasonable price. May God be with you. Perhaps you are meant to care for dogs in some way that would be beneficial to you in other ways. God bless you for caring.
Try to re-read the above couple of posts
about material things. It matters not if it's yours or your husbands (a little weird to me to begin with if you're married). I think you're missing the point.
You need to read my posts more carefully.
That's exactly what I'm saying. When tonsils get infected, they do more harm than good and should be removed. I am saying that there's no corresponding indication to remove a normal, healthy, non-infected foreskin.

And incidentally, foreskin serves a protective function as well.
I can post today, but I can't read any posts. Anyone else
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Hey, I didn't read all the posts below but sm for suggestion
Can't help ya with the subway system. I think newbies are all in the same scary boat, but internet could help.

My suggestion is one of those suitcase things on wheels that he can pull. Maybe one of those and then some sort of satchel/mailbag/backpack also.

Seems kind of cruel for this company to throw him to the wolves like that. They should be able to offer a little guidance??

Anyhow, I can't even imagine how you feel. I live in a college town with both kids in their 20s and every time they leave the house, I'm afraid they're going to get lost LOL. So I can only imagine your anxiety.

Try to help him look at it as a challenge rather than something he's going to dread. Once he gets to know the ropes, all should be fine.

Hang in there :-)
I have read all the posts below in answer to your question (sm)
and I believe your main problem lies in getting him to go to the doctor (I have one of those myself - he will probably die at home because he won't go) and in your case, he doesn't see any symptoms, so why should he go?  I sympathize.  It seems it might have to be something drastic to make him go.  Are there other family members who might be able to help you convince him?  A bribe of any kind that might work?  Good luck with this.  I hope you can get him to go.  Sending good thoughts your way.
It's therapy. At least for me it is. I don't mind it. Just don't read the posts if you know
they will bother you. I'm sorry to be so rude, but you can't dictate what other people posts unless it's religion or politics. If you start getting into the media and bad news, then you are really censoring the board and you don't want to do that.
Edgy posts are here, just have to be quick to read them as they
x
Good for you! To read your posts, it really sounds - (sm)
like something has happened with her, since this is a change of character for her. You said she was an awesome friend for many years, and she probably was. But something happened to change that. It could be any one of many reasons, too: Drug habit, early dementia/Alzheimer's, schizophrenia, even a brain tumor. The latter sounds very possible. I wonder what her husband thinks about all this. He seems like a pretty decent guy. Depending on how you view his friendship, you may or may not want to discuss the problem with him. Maybe he needs to get her to a doctor.

I think you were lucky when he offered to do the work on your house for a low price, and DIDN'T screw it up. So many times, you hear horror stories about such things. So the fact that he did the work, and it turned out well, sounds like you have an asset in his continued friendship. BUT, you of course want nothing more to do with the wife.

The easiest thing would probably be to just cut all ties with them both, but I still have this feeling the husband is a good guy. He could be caught in the middle of all this. Or in denial that the lady has a serious mental problem going on. It would also be interesting to know WHY she lost her job. The mental issue could very likely be the reason.

Anyway, I think you were very wise to change the locks! ;D


Many posts hafta read fast cause they are pulled if
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Moderator needs to see, unable to read posts and I am with Bellsouth, not comcast
Nothing here I guess
People in other countries do not chose to learn English, they HAVE to learn it in school
for a period of 8 to 12 years.
That's great! Everyone should learn to cook & learn
s
Dad said: You can learn from your own mistakes, but it's easier to learn from
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Chia, Chia, oh you gotta read the posts more carefully
I said getting jackets -not coats and fleece jackets at that, spread over 4 months (from debit card) of $7.50 per month). I don't know of any store I can go in and buy a jacket for around $7 using my debit card and they let me spread over 4 months. Oh, I wear them around my home all the time in the winter to give extra warmth so this is not a frivilous buy. You might say with wearing the jackets actually cutting down on my heating bill. The people who lived in my home prior to me had gas bill of over $300 per month, I keep the overall house lower temperature and my bill now around $140.00 a month.
Religious posts and political posts go to appropriate boards. NM
Goldbird
thanks for answering........sm

But wouldn't you think that family might appreciate an older, far wiser grandmother, great grandmother's opinion, input would be a Godsend? 


Thanks again for responding, and have a nice evening!! 


and thanks again for answering...sm

I guess I'm just lucky - my daughter is nearly 26 and comes to me for my opinion on much going on in her life, and I cherish that!  I am also very careful never to overstep my boundaries or her boundaries.  There is a huge open-door policy in my home/life forever and all know that, that they should never hesitate to ask me anything, or to come to me for anything (I can always say NO, ya know? *LOL*) - but this is like gold to me - her constantly coming back for feedback.


Again, enjoy your evening and thanks for chatting. 


thank you for answering that....s/m

reason I asked is because not terribly long ago, there was a poster complaining about a certain friend who consistently canceled dates/appointments with the poster and that it was ongoing for a very long period of time (years, if I recall correctly) - so it was great that you answered and you are not that person...


...and the person you had to cancel on NEEDS TO GET OVER IT!!!  


Thank you for answering me. I
had just read an article in the August Reader's Digest about a man being treated for throat cancer, stage IV. The name is The Farther Shore by Stephen Reynolds, in his 40's. There is an insert in the article that might interest you.

"HPV and You"
While few people with HPV get oral cancer, the number is likely to keep rising, says Maura Gillison, M.D., of Johns Hopkins. 20 million Americans are infected, with 6.2 million new cases each year. So far, there is no cure and just one test and only to detect HPV in a woman's cervix. Only a biopsy can tell whether an oral cancer is linked to HPV, but a test to spot high-risk oral infection in men and women and a vaccine for men are both in the works. What you need to know:

Most people with HPV infections don't have any symptoms. At least half of sexually active men and women may become infected in their lifetimes. About 23% of women ages 14 to 65 have high-risk HPV, including 35% of 14 to 19 year old girls.

Gardasil protects against up to 70% of the HPV types that cause cervical cancer, but it is unknown if the vaccine protects against oral infection in men or women.

While most infections clear up on their own without patients ever knowing they were exposed, the consequences can still be severe. For instance, one type of HPV raises the risk of oral cancer of 3,200 percent.

The virus speads through any form of sexual activity, and condoms can't fully protect against it. Having more than 5 oral sex partners boosts the risks of HPV linked oral cancer by 340 percent.

Sorry this was so long, but this is the most info I have seen on this and the numbers are, I think, staggering. I notice it does not address the vaccine in Australia you mentioned.
Answering
Who was the guy that came on, I believe he was second or maybe even first. He sang a slow song and my heart was fluttering he was so good. I thought the majority of the crowd, especially the women, just sucked last night. Several should not even have showed up they were so bad. I saw Danny's friend- he was really good. I wish he and Danny both had made it. The only longhaired dark headed lady I remember having a child was 1 that I do not think made it (or maybe she was the replacement?) I even thought the Enoop or Anoop or whatever his name, cutey pie, but his music was off. The black guy who quit keyboarding who I thought was really good before was yucky last night. I can hardly wait for tonight though because I am so hooked on it. I do not accept phone calls and everything sorta stops until that is over. I don't think Paula (with her crazy self) should ga-ga over someone who basically does not stand a chance and we will just agree to disagree on Simon because I like him tremendously.
Answering
You can certainly take monentary deductions for giving to Red Cross and the like, I give to Kidney Foundation and always left envelopes to turn in the amount given away and no I am not part of the corporation, just giving money for animal care and the things listed.
Following up on not answering the phone
I have read the posts. This is a forum for all to post any and everything. By myself mostly, I have raised 2 children, bought my own house, cars, taken nice vacations with the kids usually to Club Med and the like when they were younger and to say am I not that smart to have asked such a question, this is insulting for a person even to imply that. Others on here post about marital infidelities, problems with in-laws, kids and the like. I asked for suggestions- nothing was written in concrete I had to use. I started MTing long before we worked out of our homes- by the time I was able to work from home the kids were in their 30s and 20s, grown! I had to work to make a living so in the summers rather than having to go to daycare, they visited relatives. (Peope even asked when time for bingo- it was directly across my home from me- started 8:30 so yes in the summer I was able to go). My daughter (who by the way I am having dinner with tonight) told me about a month or so ago her childhood was "idyllic." I said really- she told me loved where we lived and she had a wonderful childhood. By the way, she has this rule and I am not allowed to call HER home before 12 on a weekend so she can sleep in. Again my asking her over and over to just ask me if I am upset should stand but this is something that continues with her. The person who said they listened to their father telling stories over and over again- when I do this, not aware that I am repeating, my daughter says - mama, you've told me that before. What works in 1 family does not necessarily work in another! I am soooo thankful working as much as I have in life- now I have found out next year when I start drawing my money at full retirement age from SS that it will be around 2,000 per month- by the way I am not planning on retiring- plan to continue working as long as I can because those are just my ethics and the way I have always been. I will always be their mother, true but they are not my entire life now- they are a portion like I am a portion of theirs. I think lots that post here are younger and true enough when the kids are young and such it is different than when they leave home and have their own lives. I don’t smoke, drink or do drugs, never brought strange guys home to stay the nights and did a darn good job with my kids. As far as my son, you only do so much and when your children are grown, not your responsibility how they decide to behave, good, bad or otherwise. Sure I would love to see him but when I said closing the bank back in 2000, the visits, telephone calls, etc. slowed down a lot. Think what you want- people do- but as for me, I have no regrets at all really about the entirety of my life, past and present.
AM ONLY ANSWERING 1 TIME AND THEN OUT OF HERE
My father was remarried. He had a 2nd wife. This was a stepmom, not my real mother. My father had 2 children, my brother and myself. No other children of his. My brother died in 1973. He was married and had 2 children at the time of his death. They were 4 and 6 then. I was not in their lives and did not see the 6 year old again until she was 18. That was 12 years later. Fast forward. My father's wife died 2 years before him. My father died in 2004, leaving me as his only heir. Two years went by. The insurance company contacted me saying he had taken out policy in the 50's- had no beneficiary listed on it- They paid me half of that and asked if I knew where my brother's kids were. No I did not know. No contact with them. They had not shown up for my father (their grandfather's funeral even). They said would try to find. They held the money for another year. The insurance company then contacted me and went the other 1/2 to me. I had no stepbrother, no stepsister, one brother, deceased in 1973, no linkage with brother's children, did not know about insurance in the first place, I did not initiate getting this. My brother's children were not orphans. Their mother remarried a year after my brother died and they were raised all those years by their mother and their stepfather. Now if this is not clear, totally sorry.
I think I was answering the person above. NM
x
for SS: Thank you for answering, good to know!...nm
nm
Pardon me fo answering her email
but what is odd is your obsession with this. Get over it and get on to something you consider valuable. You must be reading our posts and no one else's. We have been supported by many people who have called you on your comments. Read all of em, kid.
All the questioning and answering in the world
cannot stop these idiotic people out here now. How pray tell, if you have all kinds of notices on your medical records stamped in RED BIG letters and you have an allergy wrist band on, do you still COME OUT OF SURGERY WEARING WHAT YOU ARE ALLERGIC TO??? Idio....ts
Should I just quit answering the phone at all?
My children are grown and out of the home. I was on my cellphone today talking long distance, my daughter calls on my land phone and I answered. I have caller ID but did not put on my specs so could not tell who it was, just answered. I don’t get that many calls, mostly people selling things. Anyway, noticed she seemed out of sorts, in a curt voice telling me to call her back. When I finished I called back and asked her what was her problem. She tells me I sounded like I was angry, upset or whatever. I have told her repeatedly- if you think I am upset- ask me and I will tell you- that does not happen- she just assumes that. I told her she and her brother will never know me, never as they both assumed the same (I am estranged from her brother) Her brother used to tell me to "calm down" and I again and again and again said not upset and then that would tick me off that he continued to say that.  My children are in their 30s and 40s- I have been married to my present husband now for 8 years (although I have known him 25+) and he knows me much better than they ever did. Any suggestions? Should I just disconnect the phone? Should I let everything come on answering machine?? My pet peeve in life is to be accused wrongly and yet it continues with her. I guess could let answering machine pick it up for a few weeks and I guess that would worry the heck out of her then ----- or maybe not?
I was answering MTRobin and apparently
you did not read my answer well. I said I did not have to use my credit card. I am not broke. What do you not understand about I could have used the CDs if I had wanted?? I have 401K and 2 others. I spend because I can. I have money in the bank. I can pay my accts on a month to month basis and ahead. I have no companies call me dunning me for payments. I paid an additional $15,000.00 more on my home last year on the principal to get the payments down. I would like to continue working but I am not having to work. I work now because I love my job. My husband is teamster and I can be a happy homemaker if I want. Years ago I struggled to support a family but I do not have to do that now. Just because others are hurting does not mean everyone here. I use my CC because easier than me going and cashing in the CDs and having several thousands buried in my back yard. I will have the CC paid down/off, have my 3 vacations planned for this year already and do perfectly alright if God lets me live and thrive as I have been. I have written this in as plain English as I can. Off this subject now.
I was simply answering the above post
which said they thought a person who only paid taxes should get a refund. I don't have a grudge against a person getting a refund. This is not what the post was about. My aunt has not worked in years and years and I know she does not pay taxes, has not for years and she got a refund. Goody for her! Oh, as far as getting lots back on SS. When I start mine later on in Sept I will be getting almost 2000 a month so that is not too bad. Oh, another thing, my aunt has lived on her SS for a long time now. It really depends on where you live, your lifestyle, how you spend but she did and hers is nothing like what I will draw.
Reading your comment I am answering,
I think that your daughter, at least on this trip she asked you to take her with you, did not behave appropriate.

She keeps criticizing you and telling you to change, whereas she has to make some changes in her behavior.

There comes a time when it is the children's turn to give and help.

Explain this to your daughter.