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I would give them what you can afford

Posted By: LinK on 2008-12-02
In Reply to: gifts - I so agree

and if they don't like it, it's their problem. It's the thought that counts. A teenager should enjoy a gift certificate to the movies or to his/her favorite clothing store. As for the adults, my husband and I have been giving our parents gift cards to their local grocery store. Everyone needs to eat. I'm glad we don't run into these problems with our families. Everyone is happy to get something no matter how inexpensive. Try not to stress too much about it.


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YOU can't afford to, your creditors can afford to.
nm
A lot of people are so desperate for work that some will give you free bids and give you ideas while
nm
and even if you can't afford it, still better!!!..nm

When you can afford it.
fsd
You CAN'T afford it
If you are charging things and then paying only the minimum payment, you CAN'T afford it. You are paying interest charges and that's money down the toilet. You don't say how much you owe, but you owe too much if you are carrying over charges from month to month. You are deluding yourself if you think you can afford to spend.
What does afford mean?
When you can afford something, you have the money to buy it. You don't have the money to buy it or you wouldn't be racking up credit card debt. You can only afford it if you can totally pay off your credit card every month. You seem to be living in la-la land financially, based on your posts here. This would be a really good time to get a financial education before you find yourself in big trouble.
Please, nowadays many can't *afford* them
And not talking about people on welfare here. But they all still have them, sometimes many! Selfish, IMO. Today you better be making at least 100,000 a year or at least a very high credit card limit if you want a truly happy fulfilled child who can keep up with the Joneses and have everything everyone else has these days or at least a very high credit limit. ;)
I would LOVE to be able to afford a
I'd think I had died and gone to heaven! :)

I have preteen children at home and I would NEVER have been able to do this with infants or toddlers. I try to schedule my work when my kids are at school or asleep and, on the rare occasion they are home when I am working, I have very little disruption from them. They understand mom is working.

I have recently started doing IC and although I don't have to adhere to an actual "schedule", I do what is needed in order to be the best MT I can be AND I also do what is needed in order to be the best mother/wife I can be.

Bottom line for me is professional or not, inhouse or home, if my family doesn't come first, then I feel my priorities would be greatly misdirected. :)

I do understand your point about children and disruption though. Like I said, if my children were infants/toddlers, there is no way I could do MT work in even a semi-professional (is that possible? semi-professional??? lol) way at home, unless I had someone here to take care of them while I was working.
I couldn't afford the gas - nm
nm
I think I would tell here you just could not afford it, and state what
you can do, i.e., the week after. He is not obligated to go, especially if it is a $2000 trip with all things considered. If she cannot accept that, that is her problem. Be gracious, but just tell here there is no way to afford the trip. Or, why not just move your trip up a week, go for the entire week, and if there are not enough tickets for everyone, then your DH can go to the ceremony and the rest of you meet them afterwards.
My point exactly. He can afford it
and he should afford it. All the CEOs of all of these companies that are begging for handouts...this is what they should have to do.

All these CEOs for these companies that aren't doing good...I think they should jump on the bandwagon here. They cut our pay or pay us next to nothing, because they say the companies are not doing well...but they are not taking paycuts or cutting bonuses for upper management.
If anyone can really afford 14 kids, ok but
a single parent, living with her parents, breeding 14 kids and I would almost bet we are the ones really taking care of the kids, not her. I remember some time ago when my housekeeper remarked to me about her cousin having a brood, about 7 and I asked what kind of work did the mother do and when told I said, she cannot possibly take care of all those on that salary. I was told not only did she receive welfare but also section 8 for the house and my housekeeper wanted to strongly argue that this woman "takes care of her own." You don’t do that when you don’t pay for your own. I don’t know but I never got any money for raising my own kids and I resent strongly taking care of others. I think the government should do some kind of reduction on this family.
If you buy from a catelogue, then you can afford
QVC or HSN either one. I have bought from Catherine's but they are a little higher. You can get clothing all day long reasonable from the channels and no one has to complain about wearing mumus or the like. I buy almost exclusively and even have an account with HSN but like QVC better, I think.
I can only afford a Ford! LOL! (Afford a Ford?)
xx
I cannot afford the Gevalia, but

my mother gets it - it is SO expensive but she can afford it - and from time to time she gives me a box.  It is wonderful, wonderful stuff.  We both drink our coffee very strong, which makes it even more expensive.  I can't imagine there is any better coffee anywhere. 


Oxymoron indeed! LOL. Single is definitely best if you can afford it : )
x
I love it. I wish I could afford someone every week.
It is just a huge relief when I don't have to do that heavy cleaning once a week. We have 2 dogs too and the dog hair drives me nuts!
Can you afford to have a mother's helper SM

Come into your home for 2 to 3 hours a day?  Maybe she could play with your son and do "school" with him (art, puzzles, colors, shapes).  It would be similar to having a 1:1 aide like some children require in public school.  Maybe she could let him be her helper baking cookies.  She can praise him for being such a big helper.


He might feel really special having extra attention.  Then, if he got too out of hand, she could take him for a walk or take him to a safe room where he could play (or throw a fit) where it won't interrupt your time with your other children.


Having a high-strung child is very exhausting.  You love them but find yourself resenting them a lot of the time too.  It would be doubly hard from someone like yourself who is with them 24/7.  You need a break from him, and he needs a break from you too.


Big hugs...I'm sorry you're going through this.  Next time he acts up, give him a hug and tell him you love him.  Maybe try cuddling with him for a few minutes until he calms down.  It's worth a shot!  LOL...although that might train him to want to throw fits so mama will cuddle with him. 


Chickadee


How can anyone afford a luxury like a facial
I can't even keep food in my fridge or gas in my tank!
SURE he can afford to work for a dollar --
What a load of manure.
Can't afford to be hooked to anything, except typing right now!!!
nm
Owning a pet is a privilege, not a right. If you can't afford health
;
Can you afford at least a 50% paycut? Here in the SE, our teacher's aides don't sm
make more than 10.00 per hour and that is for experienced TAs. You will probably start out at 7.50 to 8.00 an hour.

But, if you just need a little spending money and think that your peace of mind is worth that much in pay, then you should go for it.

I'm a great advocate in doing what you love most in order to be happy in life. Have a dream or vision and then go after it no matter what it takes. Those kind of people live the healthiest, happiest lives. Good luck to you!
I say go for it. If I could afford to work outside somewhere making less than $10 per hour
I'd get out of this field in a second :)
Well, if ya can't afford a nanny,don't be looking into time shares!
I am just shocked that people actually set out to do this with no intention or interest whatsoever for a measly 50.00 or tickets to SeaWorld! Guess desperate times call for desperate measures? Yikes.
Can't afford fancy concrete statuary..
so in my flower beds I have a collection of rusty junk, old andirons, the decorative ends from a metal park bench, old birdcage, buckets, wagon wheels.. the crowing object is a handmade birdhouse that looks like an outhouse that my brother in law made with a rusty tin roof... I call it country classy...
Vari kennel crate if you can afford sm
Used this instead of wire, chew toys, water cup on front gate, they grow to love it as their "home" and you will wonder why you didn't buy one before, it more than pays for itself and you don't have to worry while away. I had several dogs who did hundreds of dollars worth of damage. I did not know about crating. Used sour apple spray for one dog, another like it! Talk to the pet supply store and look for ads, trainers buy crates up fast in the paper, I drove 100 mi. round trip for my Vari Kennel, plastic with wire front gate, not as ugly as the wire ones. If it's too big, put a cardboard separator until the dog gets bigger, then the bigger, the better they like it. They feel protected and actually want to go in there as time goes on. Good for when you have company who doesn't like animals as well. They also have fancier ones online that look like furniture but expensive.
Tell you dentist to put 'veneers' over your teeth, if you can afford it nm
nm
Here is an idea to find out if you can afford 2700 a month.
Start putting $2700 a month in a savings account now. Do this for 6 months. By then, you would have saved at least $16,200 plus any interest that would acumulate. Or just do it for 3 months if you cannot wait. Think about it. If you can't do that, then you cannot afford $2700 house payments. There will also be more expenses with a baby on the way, like daycare, diapers and formula but I would start with making a "house payment" to a savings account first.

Frankly, I would rather do without then have to depend on my family. But they are the types that think just because I need them for something, they can control my life. Maybe yours is not like that, I don't know. Also, I don't think working 2 or 3 jobs just to pay a house would work out for me. I could not enjoy that house if I had to work all the time. I'd never be home to enjoy it!!!!

Dh and i make a combined income of 70k. our house very small, only 820 sq foot. we only paid 29k for it. We only owe 8K now. We have two girls, one is 5 the other is 20 months. We are crowded but we are closer than most families. Our girls are both happy, healthy have lots of friends. My oldest is the smartest in her class, accoridng to her teacher. They both wear nice clothes, have nice toys to play with, have plenty to eat, get excellent medical care. I don't think they would have turned out any better in a fancier house. Maybe mroe spoiled though, Oh my, they are spoiled enough as it is.

Congrats on the baby and happy father's day. I think it includes fathers to be too.
Because I gained weight quickly and can't afford to replace all my clothes at once (sm)
plus I am trying to lose weight and hope that they will fit again and I won't have to replace them all.
You do not give them food, you give
the children food but if they did not have the food to eat, probably would call family and children services. I do NOT give away money to anyone.
you should give it a try

what the post said about the wipes.  maybe something all natural might also do it that way the baby might not have a reaction to that and its good for the dog also.  do some research on the net if you can.  its worth it before you give your other "baby" up.  let us know what happens.  if worse comes to worse, make sure you interview prospects very well just like a baby for adoption.  hope the first one works for you :)


We would give a lot of it away, believe it or not. Then, of course, the sm
usual - pay bills, purchase gorgeous home, travel, etc.

We believed that those entrusted and blessed with much should give much. If you keep all that you have you become stagnant - like the Dead Sea. The Dead Sea has absolutely no outlet which is why everything dies that enters it. I don't think we are much different. Give in order to be happy.
Once they give me what I want, they
can do what they like but until then guess we will just have to continue to cut that massive yard. It takes us about 2 hours to get there and then spend time there just to cut. It is an all day thing.
I'm sure they have - they will give her something (or let her out) (sm)
If they let her spoiled brat behind out, I am going to be MAD.
Can't give him away--Nobody else would put up with him!
I have a big kitty (18 lbs) that acts just like that! Pulling on blinds, disturbing our sleep, doing anything and everything to get attention until he gets fed! We love him so much and know that we are the only ones in the world who would put up with him--so we can't give him away! I feed him 3 measured meals a day. Fortunately, I now live in a house with a basement, so I put him down in the basement at nightime with his 3rd meal. He cries and scratches on the door a little bit, but then he gets used to it and goes to sleep. Sometimes I have to put him down in the basement during the daytime too if he starts being too bad while I'm trying to work.

Do you have a bathroom you could put kitty in at night? Just make sure there's not too much in there for him to destroy. That would be more comfortable than a crate.
There was a give away
for me. An ad underneath said something about maze prank.


I'm going to give this a try...sm
These are my "four-legged boys".
then give him a key!!! nm
NM
Give him a big hug from me!!!!...

Whatta joyous day you guys had!    Cat   


I'm not sure if I can give the name

legally, so I'll give you some facts -- It is a major department store that changed it's store credit card into a mastercard. 


 


Don't give up on her. PLEASE don't give in to her.
She's 16, and its never too late. I just started reading this thread and my heart is broken. I hope other moms take it to heart after hearing your story. I have 3 teens, so can relate.  My husband and I came from permissive families - you know, the cool family with the house where all the kids wanted to hang out? The houses where they could get away with anything, drinking, drugs, smoking, sex, cause the parents looked the other way.  My parents were fine, upstanding, snobbish upper crust members of the community, fine church-going folks and rich.  And they didn't give a hoot about their kids in the end, though we looked great on paper.  I only wish my parents had rules. I was grown up since I was 14.  My husband, too - that's how we met and have been together 30+ years now. Our # 1 rule since our own kids were babies... NEVER are they allowed to sleep over anyone's house. Period. No exceptions.  Not relatives, not their bestest friend, not their cub scout troop. Need I say that we have never had 1 regret??? There is NO good reason for any kid to sleep anywhere than their own bed at night. Period. We realized when they were little that if we let them do the sleepover thing when they were little, but then stopped when they were older, what kind of a message was that? We knew the sweet little neighbor who at 5 years old demanded her friends sleep over, or else would throw a tantrum, would be 16 one day, and a tramp. Its that simple an equation these days, unfortunately. So, no sleep overs, no exceptions, not for church, especially not for church. LOL. How sick is that? But this is 2008 folks, and this is one messed up world.  My kids were upset a bit when they were really young, but we didn't make a big deal of it, nor in the end did they. They are cool, mature teens, and have actually thanked us for it many a time lately. We took the temptation out of their hands - kids are too young to have to go thru this crap. I know, I did.  At any rate, of all the rules I would start if I were you, I would go with the knowing where she slept at night, eacn and every night.  Otherwise, look what's happened. She has lost this privilege at the very least. Kids don't need to not come home at night.  Please don't ever fall for that one again. Even if she is at so-and-so's house, a friend, you must see what kind of kids she is hanging with.  Don't allow it, for her sake. She will never ever change unless you do it for her.  Praying for you. Be strong. She may hate you now, but she won't a year from now, or two. But at least she'll be alive to forgive you, rather than possibly dead. You know what I mean. Let your husband's European temperament prevail.  BE STRICT.  Being a strict parent does not kill your kids in the end, honest. 
yes! and why do I have to give my
account number, name and address to a phone tree when I will have to do it all over again when I speak to a real person?
Don't give up!
I've been sewing all my life. My grandfather had a Sew N Vac type store when I was a little girl, and he used to have me and some of my other cousins come into the shop and sew during store hours to show customers that it was "so easy, even a child can do it!" I learned to sew before I even went to school! He even had some antique machines with foot pedals that we kids used to play with. I have all sorts of machines, from antique hand-crank Singers to cheap Wal-Mart plastic machines, and high-end Pfaff and Viking sewing machines and sergers.

Check out local sewing and fabric stores for classes. You can also try visiting Meetup.com, which is a really cool place to find all sorts of people who get together to pursue their interests. I don't know where you live, but I checked in my area, and there are several groups for beginning sewing listed. Maybe there are in yours, too.

With that said, I really have to tell you that Singer machines are not the best. Since the company was sold many, many years ago the quality has gone downhill. They are not built to last and have many parts that break very easily. In my experience, a simple mistake in threading some Singers will place a lot of tension on a weak part in the thread line. Something will snap or break, and once it's broken, you can't get the machine to feed thread properly as you sew.

Unfortunately, a really good machine can cost hundreds of dollars, and it's hard for a beginning sewer to make that sort of investment not knowing if it's something they'll be doing for a long while. I always recommend going to a store that deals in higher end machines. (Pfaff happens to be my favorite.) Then ask to try machines or take classes with their display machines. You learn basic sewing techniques and you learn what makes one machine better than another.

I suggest that if your machine is brand new, you return it for a refund. Take some sewing classes first, and try different machines. Then you can make a better, more informed purchase, which in turn, should result in successful and fun sewing!

I'm sorry. You probably didn't want to hear that, but I can't say that I'm a fan of Singer machines. Even if you get it to work, it's likely to fail not long down the road, which will only frustrate you. I'm willing to bet it's the machine and not you.
I just give
the roll a spin and catch the end of the paper. I've never given it a thought as to which way it should go.
Okay, I give up...
What are the mothballs going to do to the cat?

I have had the worst time with this new kitty. We have already tried the hot sauce and he actually likes hot sauce, interestingly enough.

He has absolutely destroyed my tree this year. It looks like Charlie Brown's Christmas tree at this point. (Not really but almost!)
I would give it to him. All of it. NM
x
Here's what I give a lot. s/m
Go to Lowe's or Home Depot and they have house numbers, usually really pretty ceramic ones, that you can "make" with a little wrought iron frame to put the house numbers in that will stick into the ground. 
Let me give you an example of something else
You might have come out okay but when my daughter still in middle school, was going to a high school in the afternoons for violin meetings with the teacher and other students. Daughter came home stating how a big girl was trying to trip her, cursing, etc. and the teacher would do nothing about it. As a fly on the wall (along with others there) I attended one afternoon and saw exactly what my daughter said was true. The teacher terrified of this older girl, probably in the 10th or 11th and I went to the office, told them to come down there immediately. A day or so later I was in the office, heard the mother and the child in there together. The girl got 3 days dentention. Lady, this was 1 parent you would never want to follow and talk with/confront. She was as bad if not worse than the child and not the kind that would take to you in any kind of way saying anything to them or their child. You should thank your lucky stars on talking with the guy/son. This happened not lately but over 20 something years ago and the school rowdy then and still same way.
Aside from the give and take
and genetic personality differences, people's minds have been programmed differently due to experiences (and they way the perceive them due to genetics). Because of that we all view, hear, perceive through our own unique filters. (Have you ever noticed even in casual conversation how often other people misunderstand what you are saying?)

It seems that this is pretty much the root of most difficulty in getting along. Many people aren't really aware and go through life reacting to things (that trigger emotions) programmed from childhood. On top of that, people are usually quite unaware of how they affect other people.

We could get into a really lengthy discussion on this, but it would be difficult in writing. : )

Certain couples will have a lot easier time, and likely you are 1/2 of one of them Sally. Bonus!! Just make sure that your husband has the same perspective on the relationship. Sometimes one person thinks everything is glorious, but the other person is just sucking it up all the time.

Not trying to be nasty, but just mentioning that because that actually happens more than one would think.

I think a better promotion of marriage rather than saying you have to work at it, would be to say you need to be aware and care. : )
Can anyone give me the name of the very best

multivitamin on the market?  I have tried multivitamins in the past and never noticed a difference, a friend told me that it had to do with what type of multivitamin that I am taking.  I truly need something that is going to give me more energy than I have now.  Can anyone recommend something please?


TIA!!!