Can you afford to have a mother's helper SM
Posted By: Chickadee on 2007-12-19
In Reply to: I wasn't going to reply to this but - anon
Come into your home for 2 to 3 hours a day? Maybe she could play with your son and do "school" with him (art, puzzles, colors, shapes). It would be similar to having a 1:1 aide like some children require in public school. Maybe she could let him be her helper baking cookies. She can praise him for being such a big helper.
He might feel really special having extra attention. Then, if he got too out of hand, she could take him for a walk or take him to a safe room where he could play (or throw a fit) where it won't interrupt your time with your other children.
Having a high-strung child is very exhausting. You love them but find yourself resenting them a lot of the time too. It would be doubly hard from someone like yourself who is with them 24/7. You need a break from him, and he needs a break from you too.
Big hugs...I'm sorry you're going through this. Next time he acts up, give him a hug and tell him you love him. Maybe try cuddling with him for a few minutes until he calms down. It's worth a shot! LOL...although that might train him to want to throw fits so mama will cuddle with him.
Chickadee
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Awww...Santa's Helper!
He is so cute! I love dogs!
YOU can't afford to, your creditors can afford to.
nm
and even if you can't afford it, still better!!!..nm
When you can afford it.
fsd
You CAN'T afford it
If you are charging things and then paying only the minimum payment, you CAN'T afford it. You are paying interest charges and that's money down the toilet. You don't say how much you owe, but you owe too much if you are carrying over charges from month to month. You are deluding yourself if you think you can afford to spend.
What does afford mean?
When you can afford something, you have the money to buy it. You don't have the money to buy it or you wouldn't be racking up credit card debt. You can only afford it if you can totally pay off your credit card every month. You seem to be living in la-la land financially, based on your posts here. This would be a really good time to get a financial education before you find yourself in big trouble.
Please, nowadays many can't *afford* them
And not talking about people on welfare here. But they all still have them, sometimes many! Selfish, IMO. Today you better be making at least 100,000 a year or at least a very high credit card limit if you want a truly happy fulfilled child who can keep up with the Joneses and have everything everyone else has these days or at least a very high credit limit. ;)
I would LOVE to be able to afford a
I'd think I had died and gone to heaven! :)
I have preteen children at home and I would NEVER have been able to do this with infants or toddlers. I try to schedule my work when my kids are at school or asleep and, on the rare occasion they are home when I am working, I have very little disruption from them. They understand mom is working.
I have recently started doing IC and although I don't have to adhere to an actual "schedule", I do what is needed in order to be the best MT I can be AND I also do what is needed in order to be the best mother/wife I can be.
Bottom line for me is professional or not, inhouse or home, if my family doesn't come first, then I feel my priorities would be greatly misdirected. :)
I do understand your point about children and disruption though. Like I said, if my children were infants/toddlers, there is no way I could do MT work in even a semi-professional (is that possible? semi-professional??? lol) way at home, unless I had someone here to take care of them while I was working.
I couldn't afford the gas - nm
nm
I think I would tell here you just could not afford it, and state what
you can do, i.e., the week after. He is not obligated to go, especially if it is a $2000 trip with all things considered. If she cannot accept that, that is her problem. Be gracious, but just tell here there is no way to afford the trip. Or, why not just move your trip up a week, go for the entire week, and if there are not enough tickets for everyone, then your DH can go to the ceremony and the rest of you meet them afterwards.
My point exactly. He can afford it
and he should afford it. All the CEOs of all of these companies that are begging for handouts...this is what they should have to do.
All these CEOs for these companies that aren't doing good...I think they should jump on the bandwagon here. They cut our pay or pay us next to nothing, because they say the companies are not doing well...but they are not taking paycuts or cutting bonuses for upper management.
I would give them what you can afford
and if they don't like it, it's their problem. It's the thought that counts. A teenager should enjoy a gift certificate to the movies or to his/her favorite clothing store. As for the adults, my husband and I have been giving our parents gift cards to their local grocery store. Everyone needs to eat. I'm glad we don't run into these problems with our families. Everyone is happy to get something no matter how inexpensive. Try not to stress too much about it.
If anyone can really afford 14 kids, ok but
a single parent, living with her parents, breeding 14 kids and I would almost bet we are the ones really taking care of the kids, not her. I remember some time ago when my housekeeper remarked to me about her cousin having a brood, about 7 and I asked what kind of work did the mother do and when told I said, she cannot possibly take care of all those on that salary. I was told not only did she receive welfare but also section 8 for the house and my housekeeper wanted to strongly argue that this woman "takes care of her own." You don’t do that when you don’t pay for your own. I don’t know but I never got any money for raising my own kids and I resent strongly taking care of others. I think the government should do some kind of reduction on this family.
If you buy from a catelogue, then you can afford
QVC or HSN either one. I have bought from Catherine's but they are a little higher. You can get clothing all day long reasonable from the channels and no one has to complain about wearing mumus or the like. I buy almost exclusively and even have an account with HSN but like QVC better, I think.
I can only afford a Ford! LOL! (Afford a Ford?)
xx
I cannot afford the Gevalia, but
my mother gets it - it is SO expensive but she can afford it - and from time to time she gives me a box. It is wonderful, wonderful stuff. We both drink our coffee very strong, which makes it even more expensive. I can't imagine there is any better coffee anywhere.
Oxymoron indeed! LOL. Single is definitely best if you can afford it : )
x
I love it. I wish I could afford someone every week.
It is just a huge relief when I don't have to do that heavy cleaning once a week. We have 2 dogs too and the dog hair drives me nuts!
How can anyone afford a luxury like a facial
I can't even keep food in my fridge or gas in my tank!
SURE he can afford to work for a dollar --
What a load of manure.
Can't afford to be hooked to anything, except typing right now!!!
nm
Owning a pet is a privilege, not a right. If you can't afford health
;
Can you afford at least a 50% paycut? Here in the SE, our teacher's aides don't sm
make more than 10.00 per hour and that is for experienced TAs. You will probably start out at 7.50 to 8.00 an hour.
But, if you just need a little spending money and think that your peace of mind is worth that much in pay, then you should go for it.
I'm a great advocate in doing what you love most in order to be happy in life. Have a dream or vision and then go after it no matter what it takes. Those kind of people live the healthiest, happiest lives. Good luck to you!
I say go for it. If I could afford to work outside somewhere making less than $10 per hour
I'd get out of this field in a second :)
Well, if ya can't afford a nanny,don't be looking into time shares!
I am just shocked that people actually set out to do this with no intention or interest whatsoever for a measly 50.00 or tickets to SeaWorld! Guess desperate times call for desperate measures? Yikes.
Can't afford fancy concrete statuary..
so in my flower beds I have a collection of rusty junk, old andirons, the decorative ends from a metal park bench, old birdcage, buckets, wagon wheels.. the crowing object is a handmade birdhouse that looks like an outhouse that my brother in law made with a rusty tin roof... I call it country classy...
Vari kennel crate if you can afford sm
Used this instead of wire, chew toys, water cup on front gate, they grow to love it as their "home" and you will wonder why you didn't buy one before, it more than pays for itself and you don't have to worry while away. I had several dogs who did hundreds of dollars worth of damage. I did not know about crating. Used sour apple spray for one dog, another like it! Talk to the pet supply store and look for ads, trainers buy crates up fast in the paper, I drove 100 mi. round trip for my Vari Kennel, plastic with wire front gate, not as ugly as the wire ones. If it's too big, put a cardboard separator until the dog gets bigger, then the bigger, the better they like it. They feel protected and actually want to go in there as time goes on. Good for when you have company who doesn't like animals as well. They also have fancier ones online that look like furniture but expensive.
Tell you dentist to put 'veneers' over your teeth, if you can afford it nm
nm
Here is an idea to find out if you can afford 2700 a month.
Start putting $2700 a month in a savings account now. Do this for 6 months. By then, you would have saved at least $16,200 plus any interest that would acumulate. Or just do it for 3 months if you cannot wait. Think about it. If you can't do that, then you cannot afford $2700 house payments. There will also be more expenses with a baby on the way, like daycare, diapers and formula but I would start with making a "house payment" to a savings account first.
Frankly, I would rather do without then have to depend on my family. But they are the types that think just because I need them for something, they can control my life. Maybe yours is not like that, I don't know. Also, I don't think working 2 or 3 jobs just to pay a house would work out for me. I could not enjoy that house if I had to work all the time. I'd never be home to enjoy it!!!!
Dh and i make a combined income of 70k. our house very small, only 820 sq foot. we only paid 29k for it. We only owe 8K now. We have two girls, one is 5 the other is 20 months. We are crowded but we are closer than most families. Our girls are both happy, healthy have lots of friends. My oldest is the smartest in her class, accoridng to her teacher. They both wear nice clothes, have nice toys to play with, have plenty to eat, get excellent medical care. I don't think they would have turned out any better in a fancier house. Maybe mroe spoiled though, Oh my, they are spoiled enough as it is.
Congrats on the baby and happy father's day. I think it includes fathers to be too.
Because I gained weight quickly and can't afford to replace all my clothes at once (sm)
plus I am trying to lose weight and hope that they will fit again and I won't have to replace them all.
Whatever my mother-in-law and mother are cooking--lol
we go to my in-laws for Christmas Eve and usually have ham and kielbasa (we are Polish) and then my mom usually has turkey or roasted chicken on Christmas Day
I agree - a mother is a mother and a daughter is a daughter for life sm
despite the problems they had, which i truly believe stem for anna's drug problems. obviously her mom wasn't too bad or she would not have raised daniel for a while. i think the mother wants her buried in Texas so the grave will be close enough that she can go visit it without having to come up with expenses of going to the bahamas to get there. although i contradict that too in poor anna needs to be buried with her son.
mother in-law help sm
Ok, so here is what is going on. My mother in-law fell down some stairs and broke her leg. She did not have insurance. She had not been to a doctor in 27 years. She has been in the hospital for about 4 days. They had to do surgery and things are looking good. She will have to have rehab for a few months, use a walker and so on. Well, guess who they ask to take care of her for the next few months? The "stay-at-home" mom who has all the free time in the world haha (not to mention I have a 3 year old who stays at home with me and a busy 6 year old in school). This would consist of me taking her to the restroom, bathing, changing dressings, helping with rehab exercises, not to mention working 8 hours a day and making sure my 3 year old doesn't climb on her. I feel bad for saying no, but I think that they should feel bad for asking me. She has 5 children. I feel that it is way too much responsibility for me to take on and that it absurd that they asked me. Aren't there facilities where she can go at least for the 1st month? Please help, just need advise.
And for anyone who wants to say "if it was your mother..." Believe it or not, in June MY mother fell down some stairs and broke her ankle. I was at her house every afternoon and we had people come in multiple times daily to check on her. However, the mother in-law is about 25 years older and the extent of the injury is greater. I would have never asked my husband to take care of her and help her do these things.
My mother-in-law
My mother-in-law keeps giving my Longaberger baskets for b-days and Christmas. She loves these baskets and has over 100. She visits the factory several times a year, (about a 4 1/2 hour drive) and often takes the female family members with her. These baskets are beautiful but I am just not a basket person. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but these baskets are expensive and I have over 20. When I tried to mention to her as politely as possible that I just don't need any more baskets, she told me that she often changes hers out so she can enjoy them all. I would much rather have sheets, bath towels, cookware, or even a gift certificate for dinner. My hubby and I have been married 19 years, have to children, and have a very good relationship with my mother-in-law. She is a fabulous grandmother, but I am really tired of the baskets. Any suggestions?
I also have MVP and so does my mother...
so I don't know if there is a correlation or not between the two...
My mother's cat
looked like it had mange and when I asked the vet about it he said he had never seen a cat with mange. A friend told my mom that cats are extremely allergic to poinsettas and my mother had one sitting in the cat's favorite window. After she threw out the flower the cat got better very quickly. 
It's up to your mother-in-law to keep them in the
them. Your sister-in-law should not even bring them over there anymore in my opinion. If your mother-in-law's gate cannot hold them in for sure, then she absolutely should not watch them.
Your sister-in-law sounds selfish to me, so point out to her that it is unsafe for her OWN animals to be out running free, as anyone would have the right to shoot them if they were on their property threatening them. Maybe then she will care! Plus she (or you mom-in-law) could be sued if the dogs injure or kill someone or someone's animals. Not to mention they would have to live with that for the rest of their lives.
Having seen my own mother do a 180
since the death of my own dad 3-1/2 years ago and learning the hard way from things that have happened - I would just keep my mouth shut and say nothing and do nothing.
mother . ..
This may not be comforting to you, but I wish my mom (also 80) would do something like that. I think she would enjoy the company, and the activities. We have an awesome ALF here in our town; it's like a mini city!!!! Be glad she is making this decision for you and that you don't have to push her. She may benefit tremendously from this!!!!
My mother once said and she was right...sm
tis better to raise children in a happy divorced home than a miserable married one.
I divorced my kids father and within 3 years, all of us were in a much better place and now, 16 years later, this still holds true!!! This, I swear!!
I really have to believe that my Mother is up there
watching over her grandchildren. She lived for those kids and that truely was one of the things that hurt me the most when she died so suddenly. My niece is leaving for college in Aug. My son got his license and did very well in the state Forensics competition. Little things like that are the things that she would have been so proud of. I know my mother was a christian but I just hope that she is able to see us here on earth. Thank you for your response.
what was his mother like?
?
My mother does this to me!
She does it all the time and it's infuriating!!! She interrupts my sentence by finishing it herself and it drives me absolutely crazy. I've asked her nicely, I've asked her rudely, it still continues and I have just given up. She's not going to change, especially at her age. Sometimes when she interrupts me, I'll just stop talking altogether and that's the end of the conversation. Try turning the tables and doing it to your boyfriend incessantly and see if he gets the point.
I feel your pain!!
For Mother's Day...sm
my wonderful DIL made me a CD from pictures of my two sons from tiny baby up to my older son's wedding (my younger son was Best Man). Her choice of music and pictures were all just perfect. I LOVE IT!
I wish my mother would be
I don't think I'd be so hip on her folding my panties, lol, but seriously it sounds like she has very good intentions. My MIL lives out-of-state and I wish she lived closer so I could spend more time with her. We all have our quirks. I would love it if my MIL or my own mother took the initiative to check my children's homework, etc. It would be different I suppose if she lived across the street from you but since she is that far away, I'd let her enjoy herself. Had she gone through YOUR MAIL or something private like that, I would be concerned.
My own mother does this
I have told her especially when H is here especially to knock first. She never seems to get the message through her head. 
mother
Do we have the same mother? You have to be my sister - I have a very wonderful mother. The only problem is, I cannot seem to please her - EVER. She is a person who is constantly doing and giving, so people think she is a saint. Only with me is bitter, hates the Holidays, hates the whole gift thing, decorating, etc. I absolutely love to decorate, but gifts, fancy wrapping, etc. I keep telling myself she won't be here forever, and try to "play nice" but sometimes could just scream "Okay, I get it - I will never be pious enough or frugal enough (unless the Q gets any worse) for you." Anyway, don't feel alone. I feel your pain. Have a wonderful holiday season and if you get any more frustrated, email me - we can trade frustrations.
My mother used this when I was a kid
and I saw some in the store just the other day, smiled to myself, brings back memories.
Of course, he does. But what would your mother
x
Mother's Day!
 I met my daughter for lunch Saturday and it was great! Unfortunately she live about 35 miles away and traffic was horrendous. But all worth it of course. Sunday at church and hanging out with some friends - great weekend!
my mother-in-law and I SM
we actually do look alot alike, and people often assume I am her daughter. On the other hand, we are total opposites in personality.
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