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No the in-laws are not an option the only reason - sm

Posted By: on 2008-08-24
In Reply to: I realize this is a private matter, but - diddlydee

we "borrowed" from them was they did not want us taking a loan and paying interest...so they gave/loaned us $14K interest free, I have it down to $10K so far. That is the extent of their involvment. DH would rather die than have his parents know about this I know that. They do have the money to help but that would put us under their thumb the rest of their lives and I don't think either one of us could deal with that. We do have some assets we can sell that would pay off at least half of the debt, though I don't see him being too thrilled about doing that, it is a good solution to part of the problem. I am considering talking to my brother or my dad, but again he will have a cow when he finds out about that (he will lose face in his mind). He always worries about what others think about him, etc, it gets real wearing at times.


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I don't know current laws or laws in your state but sm
I was told they had to have 3 complaints before they paid a visit so just relax now that you did your cleaning and are prepared. Always best to prepare for the worst! Good luck to you with the divorce. I could have said your story!
If that's do-able, I think that is a better option than IEP.
l
Well, of course it would have been a better option. Goes w/o saying.
?
floor option
I have terra cotta-ish tile in my kitchen and love it. You can buy the grout already matching and it's so easy to clean. Also, if you live where there's any red Georgia mud/clay, it doesn't show up if someone (kids) tracked in the house. Area rugs look pretty on it. Keep in mind that whatever you put down, if there are area rugs, the cat will likely puke on them rather than the flooring! LOL
I didn't know that was an option-
if it is I bet Oregon will opt out.
Only other option get rid of 'em. Which would cat
x
soldier's option
Of course they can deny things but the soldier also has the option of fighting that which they deny by going to the IG, inspector general, of the base.  There will be a hearing and more than not, the solider will get what they need, especially in a case as this woman's. 
You should at least give them the option.
Some companies have financial assistance to aid in medication in cases like this.
LOL! I agree with your first option. :)
yummy!
I was offered that option...
in second grade, to be promoted at Christmas break to 3rd grade.  I was reading at a 5th-6th grade level.  My mother, who had skipped a grade in elementary school, and then combined her 11th and 12th grades of high school in order to graduate during the depression and go to work, said "no."  She said it wasn't a good experience for her socially and she couldn't allow it--and she was right, I would have probably ended up needing a tutor for mathematics, in addition to feeling out of place.  I believe it's so great now that there are accelerated classes tailored to a child's strong points.
Gas with propane option.

Grew up with electric stoves. Was afraid of gas back then, stoves always blowing up. DH grew up with coal/gas and said there was nothing better. He wanted gas. Held off on gas/propane for 30-some years, but guess what I got for Christmas almost 2 years ago? Yep. He finally talked me into it.


Con was, and is, I am still learning how to cook on it, but the pro is my electric bill went down by $20 a month. It cost $100 for the tank of propane and I'm still using the same tank (15 months later). You do the math.


I still have the electric oven because they were separate units, but DH wants gas oven, too. I'd rather convection now that it's more perfected(?) than before.


Go for gas or propane. Gas is more expensive than propane here, and that's why we got the fitting for propane.


I will never go back to electric now. Gas cooks faster and the food stays hot longer than electric.


Don't snow this again option either...or SHOW ;) nm..
.
Homeschooling is a valid option. Please
feel free to email me personally if you would like any info on homeschooling. I have homeschooled all of my kids after a horrible experience in public schools with my oldest. I don't want to really discuss it here, though, as it is a topic that invites much flaming, and I have no interest in debating it. It works, and we love it. I just checked stats, and according to the US Dept of Education, in 2003 there were 1.1 million kids homeschooled in America. That number is suspected to easily have doubled by now, and new results are due out. My kids are in high school, a fully nationally accredited course, and are very happy kids. Oldest is college bound and also a very happy MT. Sorry for your struggles, but am glad you are challenging the system. Our kids are priceless and deserve more.
I forgot to add that what you said wasn't an option...sm
This paper was due in her 1st period and the media center at school doesn't open up until then. She was going to take it on disk and swing by there just in case she could convince someone to open up early for her.
Another option is Cytomel (T-3) and Synthroid.
x
As a catholic, they did not "Get rid" of that option.
There are 2 seperate ways you can "enter" a confessional - 1 is behind screen, the other is face to face.

Granted some churches don't give you the choice anymore, why I don't know, but they are not supposed to do that.
Wow - I am the poster above. I think this is a very good option
and I would definitely give this a try before my drastic option - good for you! 
Any parent who choses to has the option of
But out here, I doubt there are many parents who are that fearful. There are bigger things to worry about (fires, economy, earthquakes, 401K, jobs) than whether or not our kids are 'emotionally scarred for life' by witnessing a same-sex marriage! :D
Not an option in my backwards state.
I would defintely vote for it to be decriminalized.  Why should that be illegal when alcohol is legal and much more dangerous?
another option, unplug the phone when - sm
you have company over....then he can call as much as he wants and you will never hear it. I did that at night for over a year as I had a crank caller calling me in the middle of the night for a while...this is before caller ID...so I just started unplugging the phone every night and plugging it back in in the morning. They finally gave up by the time I started to leave it plugged in at night.
I agree, if you have the option to wait
a couple of months longer, I would wait. Just to be sure that he will not come back to the old place and you are at the new place. This would be terrible, wouldn't it?


I don't even remember having the option of booking early

but that was 10 years ago.  I also agree that it was no big deal to plan your excursions once you were on board.  Have a fabulous time!  My mom us to Bermuda when she retired in 1996 and we still talk about that trip.


Is there an option for a charter school in your area?
I personally do not know of that would be better, but the class size from what I hear is smaller. 
maybe should choose a grounding option other than a wedding.
nm
Some hospitals give you the option of sedation or not. sm
The hospital I work for gives you the option of sedation or no sedation. They have to schedule them differently, but how I am not sure.

I am not really afraid of small dark places, but if I had my choice, I think I would opt for sedation any day of the week for an MRI.

Now if only they could get rid of that "ball bearings in a coffee can" sound.
Old-fashioned ham with half the work and diabetic option~*~*yummmm*~*~

Pick out your ham


Pick your favorite mustard.  (I like spicy swedish mustard)


place mustard in bowl about a cup or so (depending on how large your ham is)


add an equal amount of Brown sugar / Diabetics can use splenda


You want a paste that will cling to the ham.  In order to achieve this consistency add pineapple juice to the regular mixture or  diet sprite to the diabetic one and then smear this all over the ham.  Place in pan, cover to keep in moisture and cook according your hams directions.


I like to open it up and pour the juices over the ham.  EVEN IF you dont like mustard you will like this.  Try it it is VUNDERFUL muah lol


 


If you want more old time southern recipes shoot me an email I am happy to help


ex in-laws
Thank you for your well thought-out reply. I plan on discussing this with him and at the same time will try to remain respectful of the fact that he loves his aunt. He is of course home for Christmas (and other holidays) and will be back here permanently around April. There are too many details of this situation to put on this board but I thank you again for your advice.
The in-laws
Hey, I am not sure if they are freaky, or not. I was raised in that church when I was young and switched as an adult. Since Matthew Winkler's father is also a COC minister it would be doubtful if he even knew about any of his son's warped proclivities (if he had them) since church members rarely, if ever, talk about things of that nature). It makes me sad to see that those grandparents are being labeled as warped just because of their religious beliefs. I must tell you that I have never met a member of that church who was a "bad person" and I have had exposure to lots of them. I have to wait and see the show. I am very interested in what she has to say. I would also like to see the in-laws go on the show to present their concerns. I think it would help everyone, including the children when they would be old enough to see it. So many times things like this go on with women and men we know and I think it is important to understand any signs to watch for so as to prevent what happened with their family from happening to anyone else. If, however, Mary is really guilty and just wanted a way out (which is a possibility) I believe the children belong with the grandparents and that Mary should relinquish her parental rights. It would be nice too if she would admit if she was truly an abused woman, or not. They can't try her twice.
Where do you think laws come from?
Most of man's laws are based on the Bible, the 10 Commandments usually.

I am not comparing gay people to criminals. Based on your statement that God expects us to be happy, regardless of what form that happiness might take, I am asking the question that, if it is okay with God for a person to be gay if it makes them happy, is it okay with him for a person to steal, commit adultery or murder if it makes them happy.

You changed the context of the subject, not me. And for what it is worth, there are still states in which sodomy is a crime, therefore gay sex is a crime. There is even a state where adultery and fornication are a crime. http://www.sodomy.org/laws/

I get this too...especially my in-laws...
nm
In-laws
I guess I lucked out with in-laws. When we married, I referred to his parents as "mom" and "dad" from that point on. When my SIL had kids, we *both* became aunts and uncles to them and DH is uncle to my sister's 2 kids. I don't think you're being sensitive and good for you for teaching your kids differently!
My in-laws have a dog who has seizures...
This dog seems to being having grand mal seizures because it urinates on itself and they last a least a minute. The dog has had this several times but they haven't taken him to the vet because of the cost involved. My mother-in-law gives him an aspirin and puts "cold packs" on him when he is seizing. I'm not sure why but she is a little strange. I would take the dog to a vet. They can probably do test to see if she is indeed having seizures. Good luck!
The smoking might have to be done outside if the laws there say
s
This goes along with sweet in-laws...

My son was born in September 1994.  We found out 8 weeks later he had pyloric stenosis after changing formula, etc.  I worked in Radiology as an MT at the time and had the GI study done there.  The radiologist was so nice, but informed me that our son was severely dehydrated and would need urgent surgery.


The surgery took place the night before Thanksgiving.  My in-laws brought my husband and I a plate of their meal with utensils and all.  Thankfully, our son (first born) came through with flying colors and is in perfect health now.


My parents were supportive on the phone, but my Dad had just been diagnosed with cancer and was too weak to make it in to see us. 


So, I guess it was the worst and the best Thanksgiving ever and one that I will surely never forget for a very long time.   Leaf 






I have the same problems with my in-laws
Last year we got them a gift certificate to the local grocery store that they always go so and we decided to do the same again this year. Everyone has to eat. They live in a small condo and have all the money in the world to buy what they want and they're at an age where they don't need anything.
just so you know, many states have laws
against any corporeal punishment now, especially for "kinship" care (relatives raising kin children). For example, in many states I cannot even give push ups or running laps as punishment, forget about spanking! And throwing cold water on a child would get the child taken away from me. There are laws you can't withhold food as punishment or send a child to be early. There are over 5 million children being raised by relatives and just under 600,000 in state foster care. Things ARE much different now.
I understand some of these laws but
not being able to send a child to be early. Who gets to decide what is "early"?
What about lesh laws?

If you have a pet running around in this town you will be fined up to $500 whether the dog did anything while running about or not. 


I do hope the little girl gets past her fear of dogs someday.  I have a 6-year-old that has that same fear but she has never gotten bit so  I don't know why she has that fear.  She has turned now many playdates because of those tiny, barking house dogs.  One friend in particular wanted dd to come over and play so bad but dd refused because of the dog and I explained that to the mother.  I suggested that the litlte girl is welcome to come play here, after consulting with dd first and she agreed.  ( I wanted to make sure it really was the dog not the other girl).  So they come over, with their little barking, jumping dog and turned it loose in our house and dd started screaming and crying and very rudely ran them both off.  I felt bad because dd bluntly told them to leave but I did not get on to her too much about it because it did not make sense to me.  I had just explained that dd was very scared of the dog so why did they bring it to my house and turn it loose in my living room.   The dog was not mean, just very very hyper. 


MIL shares that same fear and does not know why.  She quit visiting a friend because their hyper little dog kept jumping on her and the owners would not do anything to control it.  I guess dd and MIL are 2 peas in a pod when it comes ot that. 


Must be nice to know you have in-laws ...sm
who would help. My parents couldn't help. My father in law couldn't either BUT mother in law could but wouldn't I know because she is so tight. She would just say oh well loose all your sh**. She wouldn't come off her money.
we just had to ask our in-laws for $500 loan
they're like a bank to us ;)
we just had to ask our in-laws for $500 loan
they're like a bank to us ;)
we just had to ask our in-laws for $500 loan
they're like a bank to us ;)
The laws where I live
forbid a teacher from having a sexual relationship with a student period...and I think that's how I prefer it.

I didn't even think about laws differing in other states. :/
My in-laws are overkill -sm
my DH cannot stand his parents though we do not deny them their grandchildren, though we have never left them alone with them. They were very neglectful to him when he was growing up, verbally abusive, etc. His mom would badger me when we were first married about having grandchildren. She assumed (wrongly) that we would give us any children we had to them on the weekends as all their friends had/did. Our kids have been nothing but trophies to them. My MIL used to really hate the fact that I had a family, once my mom died a few years ago she did a complete turnaround and no longer hassles me when I go to see my family. She is the reining grandma now and so no one to be jealous of. This does not endear her to me obviously. Their other son, the golden child (and oh favored one who spent 20+ years going to school, getting money from M&D, and mooching off friends for those 20+ years--would stay in their homes until kicked out), he finally bought a home at age 40 (with $40K from M&D), has never married or had kids, my DH says it is because of their childhood, though he was the favored one so who knows. Anyways we moved 2 hours away (were about 10 miles from them) just so we would not have to see them every day once we had kids. Even then they came every 2 weeks and in the beginning badgered us to give them the kids for extended periods of time (I am talking 6/7 days of the week, every week). I don't think we have ever invited them here, they just call up and say we are coming. I then tell them yeh or ney basically. They come for every holiday that they can and birthday, though this year my one did not want them to come on her birthday, so I put them off a week. She wants it to be just us 4 for a change and to all go out to dinner....she will be 9 next week. I found that interesting but I told her it was her decision, and that they wanted to come, etc. Usually she is very accommodating and is always thinking of others so I am not going to make her have her grandparents come for her special dinner out if she does not want them to (she just saw them last weekend). So they will come on the 15th instead which is fine with me. So I do try to be accommodating to them, I am the one who calls them, I visit with them for an hour or two on my rare trips to see my family (2-3x a year) or stay the night so they can have more time, depends on my work schedule, I see my in-laws about once a month now (call weekly), and my family once during the summer, maybe Spring break and around Christmas. Obviously this won't last forever, they are 74 and 79 now but longevity is in the dad's family (late 80's to 90s). Both are in relatively good health, mom is a type 2 diabetic, dad has had bladder cancer twice, but otherwise doing very well. My DH insists on taking in the survivor when one dies. He has a very strong guilt complex, they did their job well on him. Obviously I don't want that, but not going to worry about that right now. Many sides to this coin/subject.
I am in the same boat. I have no desire to go to my in laws for sm
Christmas Eve and my husband is making us all go. It's the biggest fight every year. I am dreading it so much. I wish he would listen to me, but he won't. I don't see a long future for me and my husband. It's always his way or NO way. I should just say I am not going and not go, but IF I do that then Christmas morning will be miserable. He will take it out on me and the kids. I think he's just like them!
He pouted all day Thanksgiving because I refused to go to his mother's house where his siblings (the culprits) would be. The thing is this: They've never liked me. Never. It's been almost 10 years and everything is my fault. For a long time it scarred me, but then I realized that it wasn't me, it's them. And then to have my husband force me to be around this hateful, evil people is beyond understanding. I am NOT looking forward to Christmas eve. I swear, I just want to stay here (I've already celebrated with great friends and my family) and just want to enjoy Christmas eve and Christmas with people (my kids) whom I adore. But, it won't be that way when you have people in your lives (unfortunately) who are exactly the way you just described.

Ugggh. Not looking forward to this weekend. And to top it off, my birthday is Saturday. I told him that I wanted to NOT go to his mom's house for my birthday. That made him mad.
Oh, and don't tell me to put a smile on my face and be nice or put up with it. Until you walk a mile in my shoes where you have 3 sisters and 1 brother who think I am the antichrist, the last thing you can do is smile at these people....And I am a very kind and nice person. these people bring out the worst in me.
TY. We celebrated with the in-laws today,
after making the 2-hour drive, and for once the WHOLE family was there, although we did have to wait for evening for 2. My MIL was sick with a cold, and by the end of the night my FIL was worn out, but with their 2 young great grandsons there being cute and everybody pitching in, things went rather well. It was hard to leave, but I must work tomorrow (new job and all), and driving back to the sad situation with the dog was rough. But then we had a message from the vet school saying my dog LOVES phenobarbital and seems in good spirits (typical of her adventerous breed). So I am hopeful I will be able to see her myself, despite the low staff at the holiday, and decide whether to proceed with MRI or let her go peacefully.
Just FYI on in-laws dog taking aspirin
My mother-in-law has been giving the dog one aspirin every day for about a year now. It is a bigger size dog, probably about 45 to 50 pounds. The dog definitely has something wrong with its brain because of the way it acts. I worry he will turn on them one day. Anyway, apparently aspirin doesn't kill dogs, at least this one anyway.
I have new in-laws (through marriage) who are from Pahrump, NV. Anyone have sm
any info on this place? It looks gorgeous. Good place to visit???
In keeping with the question down below about in-laws...

We have all done our best to accept my brother's wife, but she grates on everybody's nerves. Now, that we can handle, but a few years back my mom bought a new (second-hand) car and gave her old car to my brother. She even gave them $500 to buy new tires for the car.


Then, when my mom's "new" car turned out to be a lemon and had to be in the shop for a week, my SIL refused to let my mom use HER OWN CAR that she had given them while her "new" car was in the shop - even though my SIL was NOT working and my brother had a car to go back and forth to work.


Yes, I know my brother needs to grow a backbone already, but that kind of set the tone for my SIL's relationship with the whole family.


So - what's your in-law story?


 


At my in-laws' house one Thanksgiving, sm
my brother in law's dog took a crap right in the middle of the living room. My mother-in-law (rest her soul) walked into the kitchen, grabbed a handful of papertowels, wiped up the poop, threw the papertowels out, washed her hands, and sat back down at the table. She was like it was no big deal! We were all laughing like crazy AFTER she sat back down and we saw she was not fazed by it at all. It was too funny.
Any ideas on what to get in-laws for Christmas whom already have everything - sm
and they don't want us spending a lot of money on them either.  Thanks for any ideas any of you may have.  I am at a loss right now.  Thanks again.