Stay at home mothers
Posted By: Gena on 2007-05-02
In Reply to:
Dont you just love this. Just saw an article on stay at home mothers and how much they should be paid for their work week, think they said $183,000 plus- get this- they were saying how much time they put in each week for their work, how hard it was and the interviewing showing scads of mothers with their children at the play grounds, swinging, running around, just seemed to be having a good ole time to me. Ah, just to be a stay at home mother, nothing like that hard work!
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You should be thankful that he wants to stay home--sm
SOMEtimes, having outside activities leads to OTHER recreational activities that are not conducive to a happy marriage. I would be very happy to have a stay-at-home husband. JMO. :^)
Thank you, Lilly. As a stay-at-home mom, your post just sm
meant so much to me because I must work in order for us to eat and I refuse childcare for my children. They are so well-adjusted and extremely polite. Your post really made my night because you were an abuse therapist and know that we are not neglecting our kids, but are doing them a great service by keeping them here with us. Thanks again.
It is fine for them to stay home alone that evening (sm)
They will have to understand that previous plans have been made. It sounds like they really just don't want to have to do quite so much driving on Christmas day and so to spend the night before makes it easier. Either way, they get to wake up with your family on Christmas morning, which will be a wonderful treat for them. I think they will be fine to just stay home - they have chosen not to go with you - that's their choice. It's really not a big deal.
I stay home!!! (I think I have social anxiety). nm
nm
If neither has a job, apparently nothing else to do but stay home & make babies. nm
x
We usually stay home but this year we are renting a room downtown (sm)
so we can dance and drink a little and not have to drive. We've never done that before so I'm excited!
mothers day
how sweet. I have some of my kids friends, who send me gifts for mother's day and they are so sweet. They have given me pics framed of a special tie we spent together or they have given me certificates for Spa day, (my favorite one yet),and then I had one send me flower basket, I am sure whatever you decide it will be special
Mothers!
You are known by the company you keep.
Do you want a whipping? ( o h, of course I do!)
mothers
you know, I didn't take it way. she said she is doing for her mother, I just assumed she needs to let it out and it would be better here than at her mother.
Ladies, please tell your mothers this
If they are in the midst of a divorce after all these years, they can get a very good lawyer and have most all their husbands have made or have. I know this for a fact, happened to my cousin. A wife after this long of a marriage (could be even less) gets money from not only what he brings home but can got after any homes (they have to either be sold and money divided or she might even get), they can go after any IRAs the male has, any savings, bank accts and even insurance money- say a guy has a 500,000 insurance on his life- in case of his death the longtime wife can even get half of that! A good lawyer gets good money for the wife- do not sit back and let them accept pennies- they can come out smelling like a rose. I have known scorned wifes who have sued for alleniation of affections in courts (old, old terms but your mothers probably heard of it) and won millions against insurance carrier of people involved. Ladies, please tell your mothers about the above, don’t let her settle for crumbs after all these years!
Helicopter Mothers
My friend was talking about helicopter mothers today (I like the term!) and I asked her if her mother was like that. She said NO! Was mine? NO! Then we tried to think of childhood friends whose mothers were like that, and we couldn't think of a one. But we both know several women our age or younger who seem to hover over their children, small or GROWN! I feel sorry for those kids.
Are you one, or do you know one? Was your mother one? Did your childhood friends have helicopter moms?
Mothers Day gift ideas
Also try www.vermontteddybear.com -- I got one for V-day from my SO and he is darling and ordered 2 for my aunts, one who was diagnosed recently with cancer and another for her b-day -- cute little tropical girls :) and their delivery is WONDERFUL!!!!
I think that women have issues because of their mothers.
I know I have some, but try to realize what I am doing.
Mothers of HIV children and news I got this morning
My daughter is now 35. My daughter has had HIV since 1992. She is a grown woman and she makes her own decisions; however this morning as I was asking her about how to pack meds for a trip I am going on as I figured she knew being as she had gone last year on a vacation, she advised me that she has not taken her meds since the year she was married, 2001! To say I was shocked was an understatement. I know out of those years I had asked if she were seeing her doctor and some time in those years slipped by without the visits like I thought she should be having. However she tells me this morning she does not tell me everything, especially if she thinks I might fuss at her. She had stunned silence this morning when she told me and we could not talk om depth as she was at her job but she did tell me she would talk with me later about this if I wanted to. She tells me the medicine is really toxic and her numbers have been fine during this period of time. I am wondering, are there other mothers out there like me with a loved one who is not taking their medicine and how are they doing? I know she is grown and I do not tell her how to live her life nor do I tell her about she should take her medicine- that is a person's own right but I am concerned, of course.
we were born to mothers who smoked and drank
our cribs were covered in lead based paint. .And we turned out okay. . Your MIL would not EVER knowingly do anything to harm your child. . but 9 months old seems a little young - if she were older and could sit up and hold on, and MIL drove real slow, maybe it would be okay. . My dad used to take my daughter rides on the tractor - I worried but never said anything - it didn't happen often. . I think she should have asked you first.
Another country heard from...guilty mothers
who think only material things make their little one happy, have to get affirmation and praise for every decision they make...your poor husbands!
Buy a home of my own - not a palace, but more of a smallish home on a large piece of land. (nm)
.
Anyone move from a single family home to mobile home? sm
I own and live in a house in a midwest city in a bad neighborhood (wasn't that bad 11 years ago). I spent the day waiting for the plumber to come and jackhammer the foundation (slab house, no basement) to find a leaky pipe that is flooding my DD's bedroom. Last week, it was the electrician with quotes for costly repairs.
In the meantime, I've really been thinking about selling out and moving into a mobile home. Has anyone done this before? Is a mobile home in a decent park less of a hassle than a regular house? I'm so tired of cutting the grass and spending $$ to fix things and tired of old flooring and cabinets, etc., that are just too costly to replace. I'm single with no man to do these things for me and I can't afford a mortgage on a newer house in a good neighborhood. Some of the pictures I've seen of the mobile homes look really nice and modern on the inside.
Any advice and comments appreciated. Thanks!
Well I figure I can make my own hours & be home when the kids are home (sm)
I worked PT in an office for a while but spent most of my money on childcare in the summer. Full-time in an office was just a nightmare and I felt like I missed a whole year of my children's lives. I want to be in control of my schedule so that's why I'm looking into the cleaning thing. Never thought I would want to do that but live and learn! Some of the most intelligent people alive work as carpenters and similar things because they have learned what's really important in life. Whew....off my soapbox now :-) Good luck to you!
Daniel had a home, a very good home...
with someone in my family at one point.
She met her late husband at a club down the freeway from me. It's not a fancy place, like you say.
She does have a real brother though. That was the connection on our part.
I agree, though. It is sad that all this is coming out the way it is. I believe she was a good person...she just had a lot of problems, mainly drugs. What is really sad is that all of this is going to be seen by her daughter one day when she grows up.
Home Alone 1, A Christmas Story, Home for the Holidays, Chevy Chase's Christmas, sm
There "The Gift of the Magi," He sells his gold watch to buy her a comb for her hair and she sells her beautiful long hair to buy him a chain for his gold watch. It used to be on "Short Stories by O'Henry" but that's long gone, long ago. Good moral to the story. I can't stand "It's a Wonderful Life" -- too depressing, especially with banks closing, too intimidating right now!!!
Home sweet home.
x
Home, Home, On The Range SM
where the beer and the cantaloupe play . . . where seldom is heard . . . .
What happens at home stays at home. (nm)
:op
She is home, by that I mean she is 1 mile from her home.
I am the one that moved away. My brother lives there, but she requires 24-hour nursing care right now, and he is unable to provide that for her. My son is graduating high school this year and I plan to move back to take care of her, but I just can't until then. I did tell the adminstrator that they have 24 hours to figure this out, and then we will bring in the police. I have also threatened to go to the media, and this facility has a very excellent reputation and is run by the Brethren Church, so I would think they might not want bad publicity. It is a pretty small town and this is one of only a couple of care homes in the area.
Normally, this would be something I would try to stay out of, but (sm)
I would think if you called CPS and explained things just the way you did here, they might be able to do something to keep the aunt away, and parenting classes for the parents wouldn't hurt either. I agree with the other poster who said if parents (or you) act first, anything the aunt did at a later time would be considered retaliation. Handicapped parents many times can be the best parents, but it sounds like they do need some help with setting boundaries.
I think I would stay put if I were you. He knows where the
door is and can use it if he chooses. Your first concern has to be your children and you should not have to find a place to live if he is the one who has the problem with you. If there is no adultery involved here, don't rush into divorce. Divorce is painful and can get nasty. Sometimes just being away from each other can "calm the waters" and allow you to make a more objective decision. I speak from experience. My husband and I divorced very hastily when we were very young after less than 2 years of marriage and then remarried, had 2 children, divorced very hastily again and then remarried again. Had I just been a little less in a hurry I could have saved myself a hiney-load of money and a lot of heartache by just being away for a while and then making an objective decision. Instead, I rushed into divorce and paid dearly. 
Stay away from CC....
If you have been having problems meeting the minimum payment on any CC, by all means don't go opening another credit card. Your credit report will be an absolute mess. I know it's 0% interest for one year, but read the fine print - there is usually a fee of some type, plus, can you pay it off in one year before the interest starts up? You never know what will happen in life and you may not be able to make the payments, the rate goes up, and you are in deep doo-doo.
Sallie Mae is high interest, your 401K is better. With 401K you are paying yourself back with interest. It's a no-brainer. No one gets your money but you. Is it possible to borrow again from a 401K if you already have a loan out? Having the money deducted automatically from your paycheck and put back into your 401K is the safest and smartest bet...as long as you have a job.
If you ABSOLUTELY have to have this other loan for $7,000 then the 401K should be your only choice. Can you do without the $7,000 and get back on track before getting deeper into debt - or at least until you pay off the existing credit card?
Why would you want to stay...
with someone who is, as you say, mean? If you are not happy, LEAVE! When you stay you are condoning his behavior. Some women want to be martyrs, others want to live a great life. There are great men out there; wallowing in self-pity does not get you one though.
Well, obviously we don't want to stay
somewhere where there's still a lot of damage. That's why I'm asking for personal experiences, and hopefully recently. We don't want to book a beach house and when we get there find out it's in the middle of a big mess.
stay vs go
First, I am so sorry for your situation...that being said, the kids will definitely pick up on the negative vibes between you and your husband. As far as your question goes, I think only you and your husband can know the answer to that one. Just be very aware of your kids and behavior changes, emotional lability, etc. Trust me when I say, they are not dumb...they will pick up on what's going on, no matter how hard you try to hide it (yes, I'm speaking from experience...). Good luck!
You definitely need to stay on top of this...
The kids who you think are least likely to commit suicide are the ones that actually do...that is not meant to scare you by any means...most kids find it easier to write down their feelings than actually expressing them face to face so the fact that he wrote this means something is bothering him...I think you should both talk to your pastor..good luck...(((HUGS)))...
I think you should just stay out of it.
It is just humiliating for kids when their parents act up or cause a scene.
The name of the game is fun. Your going into the game wanting your son's team to beat the other team because of YOUR issues with another parent is very immature and selfish.
Trust me, we've watched parents like you've described yourself (and others, in fairness) acting out and it is so unsportsman-like and completely immature.
Embarrassing for everyone.
To Done: STAY !
No husband is perfect, we are all human. Your husband has a lot of good qualities. Think of your children! I think you are spoiled and unthankful. Maybe he is right and is better than you. He loves you, why don't you; I think you are just bored.
If I don't have anywhere to go, I stay
in my jammies. I usually get up and take the kids to school in jeans and my jammy shirt. Then come home and put the jammy pants back on. If I don't have anywhere to go, I don't get dressed until mid afternoon when I break for lunch. I usually put something in the oven and hop in the shower. Sometimes I just put clean jammies on, sometimes I get fully dressed. Either way, my contacts go in and my hair gets done. My husband likes me either way, as long as I'm clean. I find I wear my jammies more in the winter and am more likely to get dressed in the summer, probably because kids are always coming and going in the summer.
At any rate, I tend to be more productive when I'm dressed, so I should probably try to do that every morning, but I'm just not a morning person. Every year for Christmas, my mom gets me "work clothes" (jammies)!!!
Where we stay in NYC.
We stay at the Embassy Suites on North End Avenue right in the financial district. It is walking distance to to the Village, China Town, Mulberry Street, etc. It overlooks the Harbor and you can see the all the helicopters coming in and out. My husband always goes to Battery Park to watch the helicopters. It is not too inexpensive, but you do get free breakfast and there is a happy hour at 5:00 p.m. if you like to have a few drinks, which will really cost you in the city. There is also a fantastic deli 1 block away that we always hit for a late night snack. We go at least once per year, sometimes twice or 3 times. We love it.
You really have to stay on top of the cards
I do a lot of card flipping with balance transfers but also calling and trying to negotiate new deals. I just switched one with a balance transfer at 3.9 for the life of balance and then talked them down to a purchase rate of 8.9 (it had been up in the high teens). I also talked a card I've had a while into a 2.9 for the life of a balance transfer instead of the 12 month offer they were having because there was a delay in the electronic transfer to the other company causing me a bit of inconvenience. That transfer was actually for a loan I had at a pretty high interest rate, so some loans can be put on cards too which I never knew. I find websites that list ALL the latest offers for all or most card companies and I'm always checking. Sometimes I call my cards and tell them I am thinking about switching unless they can give me a similar/better rate or deal. Often they will so as not to lose the business. I have saved a ton of money doing this - it is sort of like consolidating on your own. I can post the site if anyone is interested, don't have it handy right now. Oh..I also have automatic electronic payment setup to pay a certain amount each month from my checking so the payment is NEVER late. You are so right about that, that's where they get you! I just thought maybe some of this info may help someone, I hope so. My credit is very good now but had been a mess in the past.
Remind me to stay
 away from that doctor!!!
Did he marry her so he could stay in the U.S.? nm
.
I go there frequently and would not stay in
the Flamingo. It is right downtown but a very old place, the smoke when you go into the casino is terrible, not as classy as I like. It might be cheap but then you get what you pay for. I love the Mirage, stayed at Treasure Island, very nice also, favorite though is the Bellagio, more expensive than most on the strip. Love the buffet at the Luxor. MGM might be alright and at the end of most of the strip but I would think ok as far as a place to stay.
To make it stay that way
If you want everything on your computer bigger: right mouse click on your desktop background. A little box should pop up. Click on 'properties'. Then click on the settings tab. There should be a little sliding scale with the screen resolution. Move it to less resolution (left). Then click 'apply'. Your screen may black out for a second, but when it comes back, everything should be bigger. Certainly saved my eyeballs!!
Also if you stay away you are letting him win(sm)
As that seems to be his goal -I would not let him keep me from seeing the rest of my family. However, I also would not want my children exposed to his mouth, so if you cannot stay in a hotel,I would go and visit without your children, which I do sometimes as well. I see my family about twice a year, usually once by myself and once with the kids, at which time we stay in a hotel.
Its wise to stay away
I had a C-section and had planned to stay at my mom's for a week or so to recuperate. As soon as I got there, I put the baby in the cradle in the living room and started to put some things away in the bedroom. I could hear my step-dad saying "get 'im, get 'im" to his dog....I went out there and he was actually encouraging his schnauzer to mess with the baby! I came real close to braining him with a can of tomatoes over it. I left and refused to bring the baby to their house as long as he was in it. My mom, too, chose the step-dad over her kids. Now he's dead and her relationship with her kids is rocky, and she regrets it.
Need help with a dog that will NOT stay off furniture (sm)
We have a black lab in the house - had him since he was a puppy. He was/is not allowed to be on the couch and other furniture but....he considers it a challenge. If I am in my office, he will get on the couch and jumps down as soon as he hears me walking into the family room. I don't know how to make him stay off. He is a very smart dog and we challenge him in other ways with training. One of my kids will be home for the holidays and has allergies. The dog hair on everything is getting to me real quick! He is 2 years old now. Forget the dog bed - he looks at it and laughs!! 
Can help you on this, we stay at the Bellagio
and hear that is higher up on the scale of rates.
Do NOT stay just because of the age of your kids.
Being unhappy does affect your kids, whether you are abused or not.
3 yrs and 3 months. Stay over every other
xx
I'd try to stay calm, but (sm)
One thing I told my now-husband years ago was that I had to have honesty enough to know if he needed something from me that I was not giving, that he was not to go looking elsewhere for something without asking for it at home.
In this day and age, with STDs being they are, there is no excuse for adultery. It's not just thoughtless and hurtful, it's irresponsible with someone's life.
As far as being calm, I'm just not sure temper or tears works in a situation like that. I think many men "turn you off" when you get in that situation and nothing gets heard or accomplished, and something needs to get resolved with you guys PDQ.
Stay together for the children - yes or no? (sm)
Husband and I have been on the verge of divorce for years, trying to stay for kids. But now we can't seem to stop arguing for more than a week at a time. He is including me in none of the decision making and acts as though we are already divorced. I am worried about the effects divorce would have on my children, emotionally, financially. But part of me is ready to just plunge into the unknown. I almost feel like I don't have a choice. Would appreciate opinions and viewpoints either way.
me either. I'll stay right where i am!
xx
Stay away from Effexor --- Run from it!!!
A little background history: I am married and had just had my third child 6 months before this. I was juggling 1 PT office job, 1 PT MT job at home, and 1 per diem job in a clinic 2-3 days a week. I felt overwhelmed dealing with my 3 jobs and my 3 kids, then ages 5, 2-1/2 and 6 months. I went to my doctor and told her about my stress and the mood swings especially during my period.
I was started on Effexor 5 years ago this month. At first, I was kind of afraid of it and didn't really notice any difference with it. After taking it a week or 2, I decided to stop. I just quit taking it cold turkey. About 24 hours after my last dose, the problems started. First the awful headache came and then the lightheadedness and vomiting. I immediately took one and lied down for the rest of the evening. I decided I would just stay on them until my next doctor's visit. Several months later, when I saw my doctor again, she asked how it was going and I said fine. I decided to stay on them, thinking I needed them.
After a couple of years of being on Effexor, I began to notice breakouts of acne on my face. I'm not talking a few pimples around my period; I mean serious almost bullous-like breakouts on my face continuously. Now I had never had acne in high school or after that until now. I also gained about 50 pounds, probably partly my fault, but a lot of blogs I read also noted this. But most concerning were the "brain tingles" I felt at odd times. At any rate, after 5 years of being on it, I was ready to stop. I began to realize that my problems couldn't be solved by a pill and that I needed to change myself and the way I dealt with stress (I'm not suggesting that's what you need to do).
Remembering the problem I had initially when I tried to stop the Effexor, I scheduled a visit with my doctor. She gave me a taper and I started it. At first, I was okay -- just taking it once a day every 2 days and then skipping a day. But when I was supposed to take it just every other day, I noticed the same problems - headaches, lightheadedness, nausea, vomiting. I called my doctor back and she suggested a slower taper again. We tried with no success. After much research on the internet, I asked my doctor to prescribe a single dose of Prozac to counteract the withdrawal effects. After a lot of discussion, she agreed to do so.
I took my last Effexor on December 18, 2007, and I will never, ever, ever take that medication again. I also will never take another medication without fully knowing the side effects as well as the withdrawal process of it. I strongly urge you to research any drug your doctor prescribes fully before beginning it. I wish I had. I only hope there are no long-term side effects of Effexor that have yet to be unveiled.
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