Do what your heart tells you
Posted By: Christina Vantilborgh on 2008-05-26
In Reply to: Marriage Help - Done
Just my opinion, but I think you should do what your heart tells you. Sounds lame and cliche, but I think you know what I mean. If you're not happy, then you should seek happiness. I'm not one to say "DIVORCE!" but perhaps some time apart may rekindle what you both once felt. Absence makes the heart grow fonder OR out of sight, out of mind, right? You'll know which one it is once you try it. Staying for your children is not always the best thing, especially if they can see you're both not happy. They should see what a good marriage is like: loving, sharing, giving and NOT demeaning. I don't dare judge you, and I pray you find what your heart desires.
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Time for a long, uninterrupted heart to heart. Sorry to hear
s
HAHAHA, so that tells me they went
you're so funny.....
this kinda tells me that Tommy Chen's specifically went and sought out cats/dogs to serve up to the public...OMG - I'm nauseated...
I love Asian food today but I never order chicken in Chinese restaurants...I'l order shrimp because a shrimp looks like a shrimp....cannot be something else made to look like a shrimp.......*lol* Also, eating lots of Thai these days, versus Chinese....because I never got over what THEY did up there in NY....and I'm older than dirt *laughs*
my gyne tells me that he has one pt who
My gynecologist tells me he has a patient who is well over 75 who calls him all the time still having hot flashes.....
does it EVER end? I started my hot flashes probably at 38, done with menopause by 51-52...and am still hot flashing at night mostly in sleep, sweats actually....and I'm still in my 50s......
perhaps it never does end.....ut-oh..... 
Stay away from anyone who tells you to snap out of it...
they are the ones who truly need help! I lost my dad and a grandson within a day of each other 18 months ago and still have not gotten over it. Granted, it is not on my mind as often as it was at first, but it is still everyday that I think about them. I truly have not had a good grief session over it. My doc said it will happen when I least expect it. He also suggested grief counseling and I am now starting to think I do need it. I am sorry for your loss. When our parents go it just reminds us of our own mortality. Good luck to you.
Yes...he tells me he is on fishing trips and that (sm)
there is no cell service there, so I can't call him, or reach him even if there was an emergency. And he does not call to check on us either.
I think it's how the "leader" TELLS them to wear it. UGH! - nm
My raunchy husband who tells
me he cannot get home because the "girls" have him tied down and then when I say he is really going to get it when he gets home, he says that is already happening. He is a mess.
Reminds me of a story my mom tells ---
My mother and grandfather were traveling and stopped at a coffee shop to get a quick snack. When my mother got to the table, my grandfather was putting sugar and cream in his coffee. My mother asked him when he started putting all that in his coffee as she had always known him to drink coffee black. He told her he really liked it black and not with all that stuff in it, but since he was paying for it he was going to use it!!!
If the school tells you to go to parenting classes
Is that a step away from the school calling the CPS? I visited my aunt at a resturant she was telling me about her children's children. She said the 12 yo was acting up really bad in school and he is about to get thrown out. Every word out of that woman's mouth was it is because the DIL won't.... or the DIL doesn't........ Aunt has the kids more than the DIL does and she is constantly critising the DIL on everything. She had their 2 yo son with her and he started grunting obviously messing his diaper and she hit him on the nose (not hard) and said STOP! Then he threw up and she covered his mouth as if to stop him and it did not work and somehow that was all DIL fault also. DIL would tell aunt what the pedi said and aunt disagrees that the pedi don't know what they are talking about, that she raised 3 boys and they were going to do things her way. She disagrees with what the parenting classes are teaching. You spank kids and spank them hard, she ran around with a hairbrush and a fly swatter when her kids were little. Her DIL called me one night in tears because at some family function aunt started in on her and saying that she is incompetant and she needed aunt and DIL threw her plate of food at her. Aunt got peturbed because DIl was feeding her then 1 year-old cheerios. I told the DIL that there is a government programs out there that can help her pay for childcare that she does not need to rely aunt. I got the number from my daycare director and gave it to her. She never called. I had also told the DIL that she better start listening to the school and to the pedis and not the aunt because she is the one responsible for those kids and if aunt does something they are going to hold her responsible. The aunt won't let her use anyone but her. She is very bossy and the matriarch of the family. I had offered to keep the kids on weekends but I am not good enough either. I don't make my kids mind and aunt would have to work to hard undoing everything I did. Funny, the school told me that whatever I was doing with my 5 year old to do it again with my 18 month old. The DIL and son are mentally handicapped, both were in special education class in high school and both are janitors of the school which is probably the best job they will ever get. Think they would do well though and their kids would thrive better if they had a better support system. I wished there was something I could do to help but they did not want any of my help. I just don't like to go around them anymore. I have turned down every offer my aunt had to watch my children. No way.
My cousin had a bypass, take it 1 day at a time, and do what the doc tells you. nm
xxx
My doc tells people to use OTC DHS Zinc Shampoo
nm
Yes, that's pretty much it. Phone tells you when they're due.
nn
Son's teacher tells his classmates he has ADHD...
My 12yo has ADHD diagnosed since he was 5. He is now in the 6th grade and is having an extremely difficult time with his peers. He is being picked on terribly, excluded from groups, bullied and harassed, always when the teacher is out of sight or has her back turned. She knows it is happening but doesn't always see it because they're sneaky. Last Friday was a worse than usual day for my son and the teacher actually witnessed some of the students being rude and mean to him. My son left the room to use the bathroom and while he was away the teacher announced to the whole class that he has ADHD and to stop picking on him. I know this is a fact because I asked several of the kids and they confirmed it. The teacher called me at home tonight to explain what happened and why she said it. She said she was so angry at the kids for the way they were treating my son and in a state of anger (the kind when you can't even think of words to express your emotions) she told them he had ADHD and his annoyances and behaviors are sometimes out of his control so stop picking on him. She basically read them the riot act. I realize she was trying to help and defend my son but even she admits maybe she made things worse. My son told me today that somebody called him "sped" for special education. I hurt so much for what he is going through and don't know what to do. Isn't ADHD protected under privacy and confidentiality laws? Did she violate my son't privacy or am I making a big deal out of it. I am having a meeting with the teacher on Wednesday and need some advice on what to do next.
WOW - something tells me I wasn't meant to reveal
my age! Let's try this again - FIFTY!!
Anyone who tells others that "they run in higher class circles" sm
says a lot. And the fact that you would call another person you don't even know a jerk also says tons about you. Sounds like WAYY too much guilt to me. Get help ASAP
what??? He walks out on his mom when she tells him to stay in the house, and do not ground him????
I am sorry, but she was absolutely right to ground him. He is hanging around with kids that are way older than him and drinking... You think it is okay to let that go?? I say he needs to learn that he is not the one in charge of this family and thatn Mom is... Every family has rules for their children and if the rules for that family are broken, it is the responsiblity of the parents to dish out the consequences. Yes encourage the good behavior and by all means tell them that you love them unconditionally every day (several times), but you are not their buddy, you are their parent
Really? LATE 50s? That is awesome! I am 40 - husband tells me I'm too old to be skating! (sm)
says if I get hurt my bones won't heal up quickly LOL! But I have rollerblades and I love it. I just have to start making time. Thanks for the reminder!
My husband's Aunt Delores, because she always tells everyone she loves them (nm)
x
Ohio Christian school tells student to skip prom
FINDLAY, Ohio – A student at a fundamentalist Baptist school that forbids dancing, rock music, hand-holding and kissing will be suspended if he takes his girlfriend to her public high school prom, his principal said.
Despite the warning, 17-year-old Tyler Frost, who has never been to a dance before, said he plans to attend Findlay High School's prom Saturday.
Frost, a senior at Heritage Christian School in northwest Ohio, agreed to the school's rules when he signed a statement of cooperation at the beginning of the year, principal Tim England said.
The teen, who is scheduled to receive his diploma May 24, would be suspended from classes and receive an "incomplete" on remaining assignments, England said. Frost also would not be permitted to attend graduation but would get a diploma once he completes final exams. If Frost is involved with alcohol or sex at the prom, he will be expelled, England said.
Frost's stepfather Stephan Johnson said the school's rules should not apply outside the classroom.
"He deserves to wear that cap and gown," Johnson said.
Frost said he thought he had handled the situation properly. Findlay requires students from other schools attending the prom to get a signature from their principal, which Frost did.
"I expected a short lecture about making the right decisions and not doing something stupid," Frost said. "I thought I would get his signature and that would be the end."
England acknowledged signing the form but warned Frost there would be consequences if he attended the dance. England then took the issue to a school committee made up of church members, who decided to threaten Frost with suspension.
"In life, we constantly make decisions whether we are going to please self or please God. (Frost) chose one path, and the school committee chose the other," England said.
The handbook for the 84-student Christian school says rock music "is part of the counterculture which seeks to implant seeds of rebellion in young people's hearts and minds."
England said Frost's family should not be surprised by the school's position.
"For the parents to claim any injustice regarding this issue is at best forgetful and at worst disingenuous," he said. "It is our hope that the student and his parents will abide by the policies they have already agreed to."
The principal at Findlay High School, whose graduates include Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, said he respects, but does not agree with, Heritage Christian School's view of prom.
"I don't see (dancing and rock music) as immoral acts," Craig Kupferberg said.
I think that is entirely up to you. I wish I had followed my heart on that one - sm.
When I was pregnant with my first baby, I worked in a hospital and my co-workers kept telling me don't tell anybody until you know for sure nothing is going to happen and until you start to show. Then everyone said to not buy anything for the baby until you are past 6 months. For the record, I NEVER did start to show, my baby was born at 27 weeks. I bought my baby bed on Friday, and he was born on Sunday. He lived 3 weeks and 6 days. Since his death, I went on to have three more children, and I told the whole world as soon as I knew, and we celebrated from day one. So....please follow your heart.
More so than heart, seems to be
the ribs. I am gonna tell them they have to get to the bottom. Just pain medicine alone not doing it.
My heart goes out to you
and your daughter. Reading your post brought tears to my eyes, as right now my first cat I ever had is suffering from cancer. She is getting so skinny and I know it won't be long before we have to put her down. It makes me cry every time I look at her. She had surgery, but the cancer is already back, so there's nothing else to do for her. That has to be the worst thing about having pets, having to say goodbye. Just keep the memories in your heart and know that you gave her a wonderful life.
Thank you, and my heart wants
to bring in another, but the timing isn't right with me in school and expenses tight after all the vet bills. Besides, Sasha seems to enjoy being the center of attention. I'm thankful we still have her.
my heart goes out to you.
What it means (IMO) is at the least that he has a short fuse, no control of his tongue and not much opinion of himself. Its probably hard for him to hold you or anyone one else in high esteem because he thinks so little of himself. There's no doubt more at play too, but this behavior doesn't mean he hates you. I've been in this similar environment. Learn to love and respect yourself enough that those kind of comments don't devastate you. It takes time and effort. A person of this kind needs to change from the inside out. How long have you been married? I can't help but wonder if there is anything spiritual that you share with him. You can't change him, so concentrate on what you can change (yourself, your means of coping, how you treat your job, relationship etc). It's hard not to be depressed in these situations. I'm sorry he hasn't learned to appreciate you. Stay safe. There are people who care about you! e/m me if you like.
I am so very sorry, my heart is with you.
Sending all kinds of warm fuzzies to you. So sorry this is happening and you have to go through it. Please do one thing. Look in the phone book when he is around BTW for the local domestic violence hotline. It is an 800 number, it is confidential, and you don't even have to give your name. Tell them these stories. They are open 24/7 just to listen. They will make you feel better. Also, please make sure you are safe. Keep a cell phone with you at all times, and your important papers and the childrens' all in one place in case you need them. Do not let him know any of this at all. Also if you don't have your own bank account open one just for you and the children. Dont let him know. Also, please have a safe place to go. The hotline will describe all these things to you. They also will suggest a local center you can go just to talk someone, as often as you would like to go for free. He does not have to know that either. I am not saying this so that you should be secretive. I am saying so that it will not trigger his anger and the circle of control. Like I said, stay safe, call that hotline ASAP and listen to them and the outpatient counselor. I have been through it. You need people to love you and make you feel worthwhile again and soon you will have the strength to see why this is happening and how to stop it. Please call them and let us know here you are okay.
My heart goes out to you . .
and your husband. Best to get professional care as soon as possible. Get to the PCP and then a thorough workup and mental assessment. This could be any number of things - stress, a medical condition, a mental condition. Just the other day I read something that was fascinating. I read about a woman who was having trouble with her husband who was 60. His behavior was getting odd, and strange. After much workup he was diagnosed as having Asperger's, this coming after a full functioning life. I found this quite interesting. Get help and keep us posted. You are in my prayers.
My heart goes out to you.
They give such unconditional love, even those moody cats darn it! So sorry about Sixer. :(
My heart goes out to you.
It sure sounds like you are doing the best you can do. This economy right now is the pits, and it makes everything so much harder. Have you checked to see if any medical insurance is available through your state? Here in my state, Washington, we have an insurance program that you can qualify for if you meet income guidelines. I would sure check into that. If you don't keep your health, then you will have a much worse situation than you have now.
My heart really goes out to you...
When my 2nd son was in school, he was misdiagnosed with a learning disability and placed in an inappropriate classroom. I know what you are going through there.
Do you live in the South? The reason I ask is because my kids were all born and raised until early teens in New England. They had wonderful schools and understood ADD (which is what my son has). He was not put into a special classroom, he was just taken out occasionally for extra help. Nobody he was in class with knew where he went or what his "diagnosis" was.
Then my husband was transferred to Florida and what a HUGE difference in schools! The people in Florida, just wanted to label my son and put him in exclusive "special ed" classes only! There is nothing wrong with my son other than he has short term memory problems. But this school system created more problems for him than you can imagine! He was devastated and has really never been the same since that horrible experience.
My 3rd son has ADHD and when we moved to Texas a few years later, he had an even WORSE experience. Not only did they label him, but the teachers openly taunted him in class. He got "written up" for typical childish behavior, nothing out of the ordinary, they just stayed on his back constantly. They treated him like he was retarded.
I wish they could see him now - he is ready to graduate in May at the top of his class. He has completed 4 years of the Air Force junior ROTC and has already been accepted into a very difficult school to get into. I would just love to go back and show them how he turned out - in spite of their labels.
I don't think your school district can prohibit you from accompanying your child to school if you want to. I don't think that's legal, but I would check into it.
Good luck to you and if you just need someone to talk to who has been through the same things, feel free to e-mail me.
My heart goes out to you
I cannot imagine surviving through what you just described. Joel was very lucky to have such loving parents who obviously did everything within their power for him.
~Blessed Be~
home is where your heart is
Home has always been Texas but almost seven years ago I married a wonderful man and my children and I moved away to the Northwest to make a "home" with him. I went home as often as I could to see my ailing grandmother who raised me. As much as I tried I just could never seen to feel at home here but life as it is my beloved grandmother passed away and Texas no longer was the home I longed for I was happy here with my family and this last year I gave birth to a beautiful little boy and ever since I have felt this inexplicable need to take him home, home to my grandmothers house (someone elses home now) and to feed the ducks in the park like she did so many times with me growing up. So this year I am taking my baby ??home?? to plant roses at my grandmothers grave like I did so many times in her yard and bring home some roses from her yard my mother was kind enough to save for me when they sold her home. So that I can plant them in my yard and create a special place to sit with my little one and tell him stories of my childhood and of the special angel he has to watch over him as he grows up. So where is home???? Home for me has always been in my grandmothers embrace and I thank god each day that I was so blessed to know such love and pray that he will guide me in being the same kind of mother to my children and hopefully they feel (or will feel) about me the way I do about her. So this CHRISTMAS tell those dear to you how much you love them. Merry Christmas
I know deep down in my heart that this is wha I WANT to do. But, I'm not sure sm
how difficult it would be to get back into MTing/QAing after a year or so. It took me a long time to get the job I have now (QAing/MTing).
Thanks for your input! Will keep everyone posted. I hate doing QA right now and typing!......ha
Your heart is in the right spot
trying to see after them. I myself carry around food in case I see animals out that I think might need a meal or if a friendly one comes into my yard, I bring out the food still. I would definitely be the same as you trying to fend for them.
Bless your heart
Bless your heart...Fox looks like such a sweetie. I think the memory garden would be a wonderful idea.  Cat
Aww, bless your heart! I still
love what I do, but have only been doing it for 3 years. I feel totally blessed that I actually got to quit work when my kids were 2 and 3, go to school online and actually get to work from home so I can be where they need me when they need me. I can see why what else you're doing right now, though, is so much better than MTing! Have you ever been to Women of Faith?
What about just giving from the heart?
Why put such a price tag on something so trivial? Jesus is the reason for the season!
trust your heart
Trust yourself and trust in God, as well as your doctors. They would not want anything bad to happen to your baby. By the way, if you ever have a chance to go see the Body World 3 exhibit you would love the embryo/fetus exhibit. It is absolutely amazing what a 4wk embryo looks like and how he/she develops by 16 weeks into an absolutely perfectly formed baby. I wish you the best of luck. Please keep us updated on your progress.
My heart goes out to you Hayseed - sm
I know you loved him, and I am sure he loved you too. I am thankful your paths crossed before his journey over Rainbow Bridge. I know without a doubt in my mind that you made a difference in his life. My thoughts and prayers are with all of Buck's "family" who have heavy hearts tonight.
Bless your heart.
xx
Head or Heart
I followed my head, wish I would have followed my heart.
This breaks my heart and they have others
Gosh, if I could adopt all these I see- they are so pitiful. Watching the Animal Channel I see all the time. I know they want them adopted but I wonder if they know how much they are tugging at people's heart strings? I do for animals as much as I can and want to send some money their way.
the way to a man's heart is through his stomach..sm
You win! All he'd have gotten here was liver and onions with brown gravy over wild rice and an steamed asparagus side.
Glad to hear he's clearing the way and checking out the lay of the land/waters before his wife gets here. Sounds like a nice young man.
Go back down to landslide and try to type it into your browser...perhaps that'll work.
Say Hi to Slim, Randy, Ann and Cam for me. Cat
Anyone know anything about heart attacks?
A friend recently broke a date with me without letting me know and is saying his father had a heart attack on Saturday and almost died. Said he had a panic attack and couldn't let me know what was going on. He has never been close to his dad at all and hasn't seen him in several years. Was happy as a clam the next day after having a panic attack the day before. Now today, Monday, a day and a half later, says his dad is out of the hospital and back at home and did not have anything done, no angioplasty, no stents, nothing. Is this possible?
you certainly have a miserable heart
So, everyone else is supposed to give your candidate a break, but you feel free to come on here and bash a woman, Hillary, who chose to stay with her husband even after he told a great big lie. As far as the philandering, give me a break - if every woman left her husband for that, there might be 12 marriages left intact.
I don't like Obama - he swaggers, he obviously thinks he is the Second Coming by his body language and his speech patterns. He has very little experience in anything of importance, whereas Hillary was doing voluteer work in grade school and never stopped. She worked without charge to help defend blacks unfairly charged with crimes when she was still in law school. She was with Marian Edelman (think that's the name) who started the Children's Defense Fund at the beginning, has never made money at that time and donated all her time, legal talent and paid her own airfares, hotels and meals to go to the D.C. for the board meetings when she was First Lady of Arkansas.
Obama on the other hand has had his fair share of shady dealings with property in Chicago. I'm from Illinois and I can tell you that no one gets anywhere in Chicago politics without getting dirty. Obama voted present 114 times in the Illinois legislature - ridiculous. The man has no backbone and no conscience.
You call Hillary power hungry - she has earned the right to be the presidential candidate. She didn't ask for it just because of her physical characteristics.
If Obama is elected, it will be a very, very tragic day for this country.
She is a heart-melter, that's for sure!
I hope we get to see updates in her new home.
Heart Attack!
Let's say it's 6.15pm and you're driving home (alone of course) after an unusually hard day on the job.
You're really tired, and frustrated……
YOU ARE REALLY STRESSED AND UPSET ….
Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to radiate out into your arm and up into your jaw.
You are only five miles from the hospital nearest your home.
Unfortunately you don't know if you'll be able to make it that far
WHAT TO DO??
YOU HAVE BEEN TRAINED IN CPR, BUT THE GUY THAT CONDUCTED THE COURSE DID NOT TELL YOU HOW TO PERFORM IT ON YOURSELF !!!
HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE?
SINCE MANY PEOPLE ARE ALONE WHEN THEY SUFFER A HEART ATTACK, WITHOUT HELP, THE PERSON WHOSE HEART IS BEATING IMPROPERLY AND WHO BEGINS TO FEEL FAINT, HAS ONLY ABOUT 10 SECONDS LEFT BEFORE LOSING CONSCIOUS
WHAT TO DO??
ANSWER:
DO NOT PANIC, BUT START COUGHING REPEATEDLY AND VERY VIGOROUSLY.
A DEEP BREATH SHOULD BE TAKEN BEFORE EACH COUGH, THE COUGH MUST BE DEEP AND PROLONGED, AS WHEN PRODUCING SPUTUM FROM DEEP INSIDE THE CHEST.
A BREATH AND A COUGH MUST BE REPEATED ABOUT EVERY TWO SECONDS WITHOUT LET-UP UNTIL HELP ARRIVES, OR UNTIL THE HEART IS FELT TO BE BEATING NORMALLY AGAIN.
DEEP BREATHS GET OXYGEN INTO THE LUNGS AND COUGHING MOVEMENTS SQUEEZE THE HEART AND KEEP THE BLOOD CIRCULATING. THE SQUEEZING PRESSURE ON THE HEART ALSO HELPS IT REGAIN NORMAL RHYTHM. IN THIS WAY, HEART ATTACK VICTIMS CAN GET TO A HOSPITAL
ARTICLE PUBLISHED ON N.º 240 OF JOURNAL OF GENERAL HOSPITAL ROCHESTER
TELL AS MANY OTHER PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE ABOUT THIS.
IT COULD SAVE THEIR LIVES !!! DON'T EVER THINK THAT YOU ARE NOT PRONE TO HEART ATTACK AS YOUR AGE IS LESS THAN 25 OR 30. NOWADAYS DUE TO THE CHANGE IN THE
LIFE STYLE, HEARTATTACK IS FOUND AMONG PEOPLE OF ALL AGE GROUPS.
My heart goes out to ya'll down there - sm
We were stationed in Biloxi, MS, for several years, then moved up here to AL in 1999. We go back to Biloxi every 2 months to see my hairdresser, to eat, enjoy the beach, look around, you name it. We still feel very connected to the coast and its people. I cannot tell you how devastated we were by the destruction done by Katrina. We went through a cat 2 hurricane in 1998, which was bad enough to be without power for a week with 4 cats in a stuffy house, much less what you all endured after Katrina. Please, please, please make a plan to get to safety NOW while there is still time, just in case. My heart is in my throat every time a hurricane enters the Gulf now. Best wishes for your safety and that of your pets. 
Thanks both of you. My heart is just broken sm
not much else I can say. I have tried so many times to talk to her about this and she just doesn't care.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
We will be leaving the space between our pillows where Fred slept each night empty in his honor. I truly appreciate the love and support you all have shown. Only those who have walked in our shoes can understand the depth of the love and the enormous loss we feel.
bless your heart...
I know just in general with how the economy is & how transcription seems to be going downhill with outsourcing that alone is enough to get anybody down. Hang in there girl. Pray and believe and God will guide you!
do you have heart problems?
,,
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