Wow! Sorry to hear. Hope you feel better. sm
Posted By: HolidayMT on 2008-01-01
In Reply to: Had the flu. Missed work. Slept 12 hours. sm - mlstoo
Great you got to rest though! What goes around comes around, you'll get your New Year's fun another time I hope! :)
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I am sorry to hear about your house. I hope that you can somehow make a financial recovery.
Actually, it was usually co-workers or friends that I would hear boast about their refunds, and none of them were on public assistance (that I knew of anyway).
As an aside, I am a single parent who gets to claim the EIC. I am the sole support for my daughter so every penny counts. I guess I do not consider stressful to keep money in savings. For me, it alleviates stress to have that safety net there for emergency expenditures or unforeseen events. I also take advantage of all the pre-tax contributions I can claim in the form of IRAs, an HSA, and my little one's 529 account. I guess it is just a different way of looking at things.
Thanks - I hope they feel that way about each other one day! (nm)
nm
I hear you. I feel so guilty...sm
That I can't bring these cats inside. It's so much safer for cats to be indoors. I've read that the average lifespan of an outdoor cat is only 2 years, (because of cars, dogs, etc.) and I worry about them all the time.
I never planned to have cats, because I think they should be indoors, which I can't do because I'm so darn allergic to them, and because our dogs are indoors and are not at all cat friendly.
But then these 2 came along, and they're feral. So my choices were to either ignore them and let them continue to fend for themselves, call the shelter to come and trap them (but they wouldn't be put up for adoption because they're feral, they'd be put down right away)... or do what I did (trap, neuter, vaccinate, release) and take responsibility for their care. So that's what I did.
It's definitely not a perfect situation. We have considered making the cat house entirely enclosed so they stay in there. It is a pretty big area, but I don't know if that's a good idea or not.
Thank you. That's how I feel also and I just needed to hear it from others.
nm
Hope you are starting to feel better Just me seeing that you are not alone
I think everyone has at least one narcissist in their lifetime to deal with. As someone married to one I know how disheartened you feel. They can strip you of any/all self-esteem that you ever had.
I do feel for you. You won't hear me giving you the 3rd degree. sm
I do have a dog house outside with 2 outdoor dogs because I have 3 little kids and can't have an indoor dog (one son with severe allergies). We own a lot of land (13 acres) fenced and cross-fenced. They don't want to come in. They are the happiest dogs you've ever seen (Shepherd, Corgi mixes). Anyways, I don't have any advice except to say that I don't know what I'd do in your situation. I run a very neat and clean house and don't want any dog hairs everywhere or a dog who chews, which I've seen.
Good luck in whatever you decide to do.
My mom raises miniature yorkies. She has dog strollers, the whole nine yards. That IS NOT for me.
I think people fail to realize that dogs are dogs. They are animals (I know this will start a hate thread), but seriously. You cannot allow a dog to rule your entire life. They are dogs. My mom hasn't visited any of her family in years because she can't leave her dogs at home or board ALL of them. To me, she is missing out on a lot of things because of these "animals."
Happy to hear you feel better...One thing though..sm
When it comes to federal income tax withheld from your daughter, I know for a fact that if the local welfare office or whoever is responsible for making sure she pays or they pay, doesn't send in a "flag" with their SS#'s to the IRS every 3 months or so, the IRS will NOT withhold any income tax refund from your daughter or SIL. My mother went through this with my sister-in-law. Fast forward, 26 years later, she is still in arrears to a tune of 10,000K. The only way any refund was w/h from her was when I called the IRS myself and gave them her SS# repeatedly, because they were not getting the info from the local courts....IRS guy said the courts are suppose to send the info with SS# regularly but they rarely do, so refunds are not withheld. Even now, in order for my mom to get child support that is due to her, WE have to find the trash (she is on her 4th marriage and moves all the time), prove she lives there or works there, then get the local judge here to send the proper papers to where she lives, to that judge, and then he will decide how to make her pay. I hope your daughter and SIL stay up to date on payments, or you will have to fight your way through the system and still never see a penny.
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, i feel your pain nm
n
Hope venting made you feel better...
The thing that struck me the most in your post is that you help a friend by listening to dictation. Is this during *your* work hours? If so, try not to answer the phone. I know, it sounds so simple, but if you have kids, this can be tough. Anyhow, if the friend asks why you are not answering, tell her you need to focus on getting lines so you can pay your monthly bills (stress this!). Maybe she will get the hint. I had to do this when a coworker called me constantly. I'm a sole income earner so can empathize. As for the friends working when they were asked not to, well, unfortunately, it is a supervisors/manager's job to handle. Hopefully s/he will take care of this. Good luck.
Agreed! Hear, hear...amen, sister!
x
Do You Hear What I Hear and Little Drummer Boy
I love the holiday!
Hear, hear! I'm with you too, same boat. -nm
nm
Did not hear about the porn but did hear
there might be a conflict about her babies going home with her when they were able to be dismissed. You can hardly blame anyone for questioning how she will take care of them. From what I have seen, she hardly seems stable enough to do that.
I hear ya........
nm
Look - I know this is probably not what you want to hear, but
I speak from experience - and many advice experts will say the same thing - if a man is interested in you, he will ask YOU out. Just like if you go out with a man and at the end of the night you ask him to come into your home, and he doesn't - then he's not that into it. It doesn't matter what he has going on in his life, men make time for women they are interested in! They are never that busy that they cannot call you - that's just a lie. They make the time to talk for one minute because THEY ARE INTO YOU!! If you have to ask a man out, think about it - what was wrong with him?? WHy couldn't he approach you? He knows how to open his mouth and say "hey, I don't know if you're single or seeing someone, but I was wondering if you .... "
Don't ask him out. Let him pursue you. It's old fashioned, but hey, it still holds true.
I am so sorry to hear that. It does cause
actual physical pain to lose a special pet. I have wished I could cut my heart out to end it, or be PTS alongside my poor dog. What a shock to lose such a young cat. I am sorry.
sorry to hear that, don't know what to say...sm
Sorry to hear this happened to you, don't know what to say, but this has never happened to me, and both my CPA and the other person, a corporate estate tax person, say that I'm legal and nobody has come after me or notified me that I am in the wrong....
I hear what you are saying
Personally, the wrinkles start showing in my face if I am too thin. I need a little weight on my to look good...unfortunately, it is all on my hips and glutes...LOL
You are what you eat, so I hear
and if a person wants to be a supersized so be it. Got off Cokes on my own after marrying my hubby, used to drink loads of those and I never feel like I am not living by the way I eat because I also love sweets and if I want I have them. I just don't care for any of my foods supersized, be it a drink or a hamburger, just too much to consume for me and the amount of calories you get plus the fact of it just not being that healthy for you. I would put my delicious food up against any fast (fat) food place any ole day. I just like taste with my food.
So sorry to hear that....
Our cat is getting older now, and I hope she lives forever, but.... I'm so sorry for your loss! It is truly a loss to lose a much-loved pet! Take care... my thoughts are with you today.... 
I am so sorry to hear you are going through this.
But with her compression fractures, and probably the COPD also, there was no way the MDs could have coded her. Her bones (and probably lungs) wouldn't take it. At least that's what they told my grandfather about my grandmother when she had leukemia. He found out the doctors made her DNR without talking to him, and he found out after she passed away.
Now hear this.....
Just called the courts and on my way there now to swear out warrant for arrest of the person writing the bad check. Talk with you later.
I hear ya
This situation sounds a little iffy to me, too. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck....
Sorry to hear this
about your new tile floors honey bear. That is too bad. It is very frustrating!
I want to hear...
.. the end of this story.. The AUDACITY is appalling...
I hear ya
I feel the same way - I'm not really close to anybody outside of my husband/children/parents (which is my choice) and this was kind of a big step for me to hang out with an old friend which is why it is so disappointing. I have huge trust issues with friends and this is just another instance where I kinda feel like I'm getting shafted.
I also don't feel comfortable taking my children around a new boyfriend (they have known each other a couple of weeks) who I don't know anything about.
Thank you for replying and I'm very sure you are not repulsive! Like you said, a lot of people are just so selfish nowadays and those of us who actually consider others feelings before doing things are the ones who get hurt.
Sorry to hear that
hope you are able to work things out.
I am curious to know the name of the restaurant that you wanted to visit.
I hear you!
I seem to have more and more of those days as I grow older lately. Good thing the caffeine doesn't affect my sleep, though.
If I hear same one over and over, that will do
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I'm sorry to hear about your FIL.
Maybe this article will be helpful.
http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/534592
Sorry to hear about Arf . . .
I've visited your web site before (very cool site, BTW!) and all of your animals look so happy there. Arf is a beautiful cat, and it's good to know he's got a mom like you to love him, especially right now. Hope this transition is smooth and painless for both of you. 
Sorry to hear about your cat
You are right about them wanting to go away and die, though. My cat, who was mostly and indoor cat, would go outside for years and never step foot near the road. Always stayed in the yard and "hunted". Once she got sick, she started acting strange and one day, meowed at the door to go out and went straight into the road and got hit by a car. It was almost like she wanted it to end quickly...
It's hard to lose a pet - hugs to you!
I hear you
I, too, have an evidence picture! Mine is concrete steps, 5, tiny porch, my son sitting on the absolute very edge of the porch! This was my older son, the favorite. She never did like my younger son (he was a boy, you know, not the girl she wanted). To this day, he refers to her as the Evil __itch - she has been dead for 13 years. Needless to say, evil people are not missed.
I hear ya!
I wonder how I functioned without my medication...I would not remember anything that I had typed. Now if I have a dictator who redictates a note and it is basically the same...I am able to recognize it whereas before I would have just typed it and not known the difference. The med wears off by late afternoon and I am pretty well ready for bed but have ruminating thoughts swirling about and I take a medication to help me sleep.
sorry to hear that he won't
compromise.. I am glad to hear he at least respects your daughter's wishes and not smoke around the grandkids... It is awesome that she stands her ground and won't bring them if he does...I wish he could see that you cannot tolerate it and that is enough motivation for me at least not to harm my spouse...Dunno...Good luck with the air purifier...Maybe get one for every room...RUN THEM ON HIGH!
The more I hear about those, the more I want one.
nm
Hi, I am sorry to hear you are going through this!
as soon as I finish typing this. I have a 4 and a 5 year old. I have gotten to the place where if they start screaming and crying, I tell them that they can do that all they want in their room, but I don't want to hear it. So, they get sent to their room, and as soon as they are ready to stop, they can come out. Don't give in. Consistency is the biggest factor. I can't believe you said you spanked him, you are going to get mega flamed now. So, let's not broach that subject. :) Do not reward him for bad behavior. Do not lose your patience. I have found when I am nice and respond positively, they in return respond better too. I don't feel like going the extra mile sometimes and I usually don't, but I am continually amazed every time I do, why don't I do it this way all the time? Don't threaten him with things that aren't going to happen. (im taking all your christmas presents back!) That is childish and you don't need that on top of what you have already. It is frustrating and difficult, I know. I certainly don't have all the answers, but I can empathize. Talk to him like a big boy. I thought you were going to be a really good big boy today....I was hoping we could go out for lunch to McDonalds, but I can't take you there if you are going to act like this! Delayed rewards, works wonders! Good luck!
so sorry to hear about this
I am not that far away from Marshall, in Kentucky. . I had not heard this story yet. . Will be praying for a good outcome.
Okay.. I hear what your saying...
We definitely do it in a loving, teasing, and funny manner..Rarely, when we joke around like that and grope does it lead to anything or intended that way..When we're really serious about that..the groping is definitely more affectionate and meaningful. What your describing borders on rude and disrepectful and I'm so sorry. It's nice being crazy in love (like we are)..and then there is just plain crazy.. WOW..Again, I apologize if I sounded like I made light of your situation. I do realize there are extremes. We have a healthy balance of playfulness and know when to be serious. EVEN I would be turned off by that behavior and it takes a A LOT to turn me off PERIOD.. but that would do it.
I'm sorry to hear - s/m
My parents separated several years. Although the details aren't quite the same, the end result was. My dad hit my mom. It wasn't the first time, but that isn't my point here.
My point is this: My mom has been miserable ever since she took him back. She constantly brings up the circumstances surrounding it and never lets him forget that she took him back. She has now let the anger take over her and consume her to the point that I can't remember the last time she was just content. She's not the mom I used to know and I'm not sure how to handle it anymore, but my advice to you is if you can't forgive, get out. Get out before you spend the rest of your life trying to make his life miserable as a punishment for what he did. It will eat you up inside and you'll end up alienating the people around you. Life's too short to spend it in misery. I feel for you.
I'm so sorry to hear about that
Ours is an only cat. Our other cat passed away a year ago this past March. I'm not sure what his problem is, but I may take him to the vets to be sure he doesn't have a UTI.
You should hear . . .
  You should hear how my one doctor says Protonix. Took me awhile to figure him out -- Gosh you would think a doctor would know how to correctly dictate a drug!
I'm so sad to hear this......sm
I absolutely LOVE that show. I can still hear her saying "Picture it...Sicily...1932....." and Dorothy rolling her eyes.
Ms. Getty was a tremendous talent and will be missed, but she will live on as long as the Golden Girls is aired.
Sorry to hear this but (sm)
what the heck was he doing out at 5:30 AM with a 9-yo?
Did you have a talk with him or just tell him? I think you made the right decision for now. Let him think about it. Maybe you can have a close friend of yours or him to try to talk sense into him.
I didn't state in my earlier reply that I, also, am a stepmom. My husband's son lived with his grandmother for the first 3 years and he was terrified of me. Long story there, but his real mother was kicked out when the child was 6 weeks old and his grandmother drilled it into his head about his mother.
My husband and I had many a fight over him, but I tried to stick it out until the day my stepson said I wasn't his mother and he hated me and he would never call me mom or even my first name. This was at a birthday party and that was the last straw. I left my husband that day.
My best friend sat down after that and had a chat with my husband because he never intervened when his son made snide remarks about me, and he finally realized he was on a guilt trip for his ex's behavior. We got back together and it took another 3 years, but now his son calls me mom and he treats me better than my own son!
I wish you the best of luck. It is a tough road to haul, but if your guy cares anything at all about you, he will try to figure out the problem.
So sorry to hear about your dog
It does take a while, but in time it does get better.
sorry to hear
Sorry to hear that. I am a proud pitbull owner & I love the breed. Sadly I hear stories like this that add fuel to the fire on the pitbull's reputation. In cases like these unless I was there and saw & heard exactly what went on I can't pass judgement on the pitbulls nor the people because you just really don't know what happened to cause it. Who are we to judge?
I hear ya!!!
I'm right below you in Ohio and I've definitely had enough already!!!
I'm so sorry to hear that
I have lots of cats, so hearing you had to give yours up makes my heart hurt for you. Someone wonderful will take your kitty home and love him, though. I have adopted several older cats from the Humane Association here. I did it specifically because they were older. I have one who is 18 now that I brought home when she was 15 - also an owner surrender.
I'll say a prayer to St. Francis for you so your kitty finds a good landing spot.
I'm sorry to hear that....sm
This must be a stressful time for you. I hope for the best for you and your family.
I am so sorry to hear you are going through this...
listening to your story, I see what kind of trigger this could be especially when you have found out she has never been out of the picture.
This happened to me starting in 2004-2005 - it took a long time to sort this all out -and I had to make very, very firm boundaries about what was okay. The first one was NO CONTACT with her. If you did not do this then, do it now. No private e-mail account, no calling cards so telephone records won't show contact, no text messages, and no letters. For some reason, it is obvious to the cheated on spouse that there should be no contact while the cheating spouse thinks that it is okay to be just friends afterwards - especially if nothing physical can happen. You need to set him straight on how this hurts you.
I also feel if these 2 really, really wanted to be together, they would have found a way in all these years. Many people hold on to this person privately, on the sly, to preserve the spark of the relationship. They usually know full well a day-to-day marriage-type relationship would not work with that other person at all. I have also used online marriage forums, and I remember this other woman saying how she loved this man but gave him up to be with his family, and they would be together when his family was grown - however - the baby is like in her 20s now. She goes on and on about unrequieted love, blah, blah, blah, their CONNECTION, blah, blah, blah, and all these other overly romantisized ideas. It could certainly be your husband's affair is the stalker type like this and sends him this stuff unsolicited.
The last thing is remembering that love changes throughout the years and marriage does take work from both parties. My husband and I have functioned in a bunch of stages in our relationhip including checking out of it for a while. I have felt passionate towards him, sisterly towards him, motherly towards him, and just not much of anything for him. None of it gives him the right to cheat. I am just now getting counseling for a lot of things that happened when he left and had an affair but most specifically how it has affected my now 20-year-old daughter and her ability to have a relationship. I am by no means suggesting either of you stay in the marriage for your kids, but my husband doesn't get to go back and undo the damage he did to our children, and he has to regret that every day of his life. When she cries and says she pushed her boyfriend away because she thought he would leave like her dad just about kills me.
Its okay to feel frazzled, you are not overreacting, and you have every right, even the responsibility, to confront your husband about this. Good luck and I wish you the best.
Sorry to hear that you are going through this
Does your state or county have any kind of program that can help you-emergency cash fund, help with paying for housing so you can get out of your parents house sooner? Just a thought. Good luck.
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