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You are talking about grown-a.. folks

Posted By: Would not fuss on 2007-11-06
In Reply to: I am not your dear. - OP

By goodness, you do not even see where you are going wrong, do you? What happens if you die suddenly? Do you think they would starve, I doubt it. They would get off their lazy behinds and make do. Why don’t you just let them move in on you and make it 1 big happy home? I do not just dole out money without a person trying to help themselves. You are making them both invalids but wait, you still have the grandkids to go. Lucky you. Don’t gripe when you are to blame for their not working and trying to live on their own. Look in the mirror.


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So you just continue to give money to grown folks
because they are too lazy to work? You could do 1 of 2 things- take the children or call the family and children services if they are not being cared for. I would never continue to support people who did not want to help their self.
We are talking about a 5-y/o here not grown wacko adults - sm
so it is not a diaper fetish. Odds are the child is looking for attention and as stated in numerous posts wants to be the baby again and have all the attention. If the mom can, she needs to spend some 1:1 time with her 5-y/o, maybe at bedtime, story reading, or just talking, or take him down to the corner store and leave the younger one at home with dad, etc. Anything really, just spent 15-30 minutes a day that is his time with him mom alone. I wouldn't get freaked about it. I have 2 girls and the one loves to play with her nipples and stroke her tummy. She is 7 and just exploring sensation at this point. I told her it is okay to do but in private, not in public. I am not making a big issue out of it; not that it is a big issue to begin with.
Im not talking about a check. Im talking about a positive administration working FOR Americans and
Not receiving a check each month to help us out is not what got us in this mess...
What's the difference between talking on cell and talking to person sitting across from you?
You should be ignoring people at other tables and MYOB.
She wasn't talking to you, BTW. She was talking about the 2 posters below! nm
m
Am not talking politics here at all, talking
about how she views the southern culture which apparently she knows very little. I do not care about her politics- what I care about is by making a statement like that only shows a persons ignorance. My maid is working today, has lived in the gettos all her life in a big city and when I asked her about it she said something she has not seen in maybe 30 years. In her neighborhood there is all sort of crime that goes on (well, that is about everywhere) but if anyone would see it she would be 1. Like I say, could care less about Whoopie's political views other than the fact she got that wrong. Neil Boortz also was saying the same,;he said she was probably still holding the south in such a light because of her inability to go into a upper class restaurant here in town dressing in blue jeans. Being as she was born in NYC, we southerns still say da.n yankees! So true here.
This man's ego has grown so much it is
getting ready to bust and then he will realize his show has had its run and it is time to go away. I do think that for Ivanka to be so young she carried herself very well and had very intelligent things to say.
Grown and
several years ago.
if they are so grown then maybe they could
get out on their own?? Just a thought. It is the mothers home, not theirs and she pays to be the boss and therefore is. If kids so grown, let them have at it.
He's a grown-up man and obviously sm
sees a lot in you. I can understand your apprehension (BTDT), but you could possibly miss out on the best friend you could ever have. Enjoy his company, and enjoy a good life. Life is too short!
all grown up
If you work you can find a nice apartment even if your credit is poor. Everyone's credit is poor. Find yourself somewhere great to live and then tell him he is welcome to come if he wants. Then, go live your life!! It's hard to do, but, NO, not all men are selfish.
when they are grown and won't sm

follow the rules of the house then you have to make them get out on there own.  I have two sons.  We had to make both of them leave.  The only rules we had were if you are not coming home, let us know.  I always told them to give me a "ballpark" time when they would be home and if they were not going to come home then, just call me.  I didn't really ask where they were at, kind of silly for 20 year old boys and they can tell you anything.  But, for their own safety I told them always let someone know when you are NOT coming home.  They didn't want to go by those rules and threw fits and we had to put them both out (not at the same time of course, they are different ages).  The youngest is now a firefighter (32 years old), married, has his own business on the side.  The oldest has his own business, lives out of state.  They both did very well. 


I see too many 40 year old kids living at home sponging off mom and dad and will never get anywhere doing that.  It is a pattern they just keep doing over and over again.


Now if they are in school and doing well, working or not working depending on the school situation, I would not put them out UNLESS they didn't follow my rule and then I would not care if school was involved or not.  I think this is why we have so many kids who will not grow up because we enable them to be this way.  Just my opinion though.  I didn't say it was easy, but it is necessary.


 


Don't know why folks would even ask
such a thing!  If they do, tell them you don't need a gift just for them to come, eat, enjoy the company and check out your new digs.  Never heard of such a thing and would not appreciate it if I were a guest.  I always take a perishable gift anyway...wine, plant, food.  It is not that big of a deal!
I went and took a lot of folks
Ok, there were 3 adults and 4 kids and I paid for everything down to everyones clothing. I got the jumper pack, I believe is what they called it. Got there Saturday, started Sunday at Universal all day and then Monday through the following Friday we went every day to at least 2 parks and 1 day went to a water park. It cost an arm and a leg but the kids were two 8 year olds, two 11 year olds and then the adults who were kids also. What a blast. The entire trip from next state up to there with rental van and everything probably cost over 10,000 for the time. What wonderful memories though.
thanks folks!
will have to check this other one (Kimkins) out too.
i so hope i can get myself reined in before i come up with diabetes or something...
My son is NOT being childish. He is more grown up
And, since you mentioned it, both of my brothers are felons. One is already in the pen and the brother that my son does not want at the wedding will soon be going to the pen for what else - 3 counts second degree sexual assault. So, do you still think our son is childish?????? Not sure how you got the childish portion out of the original post to begin with!!!
As you said, you are grown as is he. Let it be. Is he questioning her sm
or her motives? It is not your place at all to say anything to your father about his impending wedding, honeymoon, etc. Now, if she was taking his money, squandering, etc., and not marrying him then that's another story. She obviously loves him and he loves her, so wish them well, be sweet and happy for him and move on with your own life.

I can sense your bitterness and you need to cut that out of your life. It's counter productive to be bitter and resentful. And, the Bible says it clearly: Bitterness rots your bones.
MAKING??? Isn't he a grown man? (nm)
x
Grown Children

True, not all families are the Cleavers. However, your tone comes accross very unloving towards your children. I find that sad. My oldest son (29) died in an accident. Open up and let your children get to know you before it is too late. Don't sweat the small stuff. Life is simply too short.


Lilly


I have always grown veggies - sm
And this year it looks like doing so will really pay off!  I mean, for a few dollars I can get enough plants to cover my 100 sq feet of raised beds and really make a dent in the cost of produce, which we eat a lot of.  Happy gardening! 
She is a grown woman and all you
can do is invite her and leave it at that.
my dear grown up former
Dear Son,
Remember when I carried you on my hip everywhere we went until you weighed 50 pounds? I still have a lopsided left arm and body. People would say to me, "when are you going to let him walk?" and I would say, "If I put him down, he will run off!"

Remember when I could not carry you anymore and you would take off in Sam's Club running and laughing just to see the look of horror on my face running after you, abandoning my cart?"

Remember how I had to buy an extra large pet harness at Pet Smart in bright purple and I put you in that leash whenever we were out in public?

Look at you now! All grown up and handsome and not one little trace of a leash! I love you, I would have taken 12 more just like you, I miss playing with you, and I am lucky to be your mom. You taught me all I ever wanted to know about glass replacement, first aid, and laughing until I peed my pants.

Love, Mom
Tell him different strokes for different folks.nm
x
Old folks get bored. sm

My 86-yo dad is the same way.  Sticking his nose into my business.  He also constantly rags on me about my son not mowing the grass, etc.  I have explained to him that I LIKE to mow the grass and to please drop it and he just keeps on and on.  One day he walked in my office and shook his finger at me and said, "You just wait, you just wait, y'all are drinking way too much pop."  This because I buy it when it's on sale and it lasts a very long, long time.  And, by the way, neither my son nor I are overweight.  Older people just can't (anyways he can't) realize I am 53 years old and have lived on my own without his valuable input for a long time.  He just doesn't have anything else to do. 


The thing that really bugs me is when he comes over and just plops down in here when I am working and I tell him he can't be in here when I'm working and he gives me all kinds of excuses ("I can't see read what you're typing") and I have to just keep the screen minimized until he goes.  He just doesn't get it.  The other day I told him to go over and check on my cousin's new fence, and that got his train of thought going in a different direction and off he went.  He called me one day and told me not to commit to the big diocesan pledge thing that's going on, that I am to tell them I am a single parent just barely scraping by, etc., etc., and I wanted to tell him I am not quite that destitute yet, but I just agreed. 


Oh, and I have an extremely screwed-up sister, too, who Dad thinks can do no wrong and her son is the greatest, etc., etc.  Oh, the stories I could tell about her!  Well, it was me who gave him a place to live after Katrina and it was me who gave him my couch for his new house because he didn't have one (another delusional idea, he thinks he is broke), not her, so I just keep quiet and keep civil and remind myself he's old.   When it gets to be too much I tell his sisters, who tell him to back off then he does for a while.  All part of life. 


Denver folks out there?
I have posted before and do not want to get into WWIII but supposed to go on vacation next week to Salt Lake City, Wyoming and the like, leaving from Denver and wanted to know if anyone can suggest sights, restaurants for my last day of vacation before returning home.
Thanks for the feedback folks....sm
The 15-year-old now doesn't like ya'll but they'll get over it! I only posted it because they thought it wasn't fair to not give them the same amount of money. "Too bad" is what I said - we live on a budget and buy what is necessary not just what is wanted around here because we're paying off some bills.
Oh ya, folks definitely know I'm 'from away'

as soon as I open my pie hole.  Some people don't mind that we're 'from away' (their endearing term for us outta stata's), but some folks get down right nasty about it.  I suppose it's like anywhere though....I guess folks in Florida don't like the people from New England either because I once saw a bumpah stikah that said, "Keep the south beautiful, put a yankee on a bus" or something like that.  It was a long time ago and my memory isn't what it used to be.



Why don’t folks use their brains
Ladies going to psychiatrist. He is on the wanted list now- had them to undress, pulling their blouses, shirts up and you would think some one would have enough sense to say WHAT? This does not come under psychiatry. No, these women get on television and tell about how they pulled them up. I would be ashamed to let people know I was that stoopid.
my folks go every year x55 yr?
to the same place. Pacific Grove/Carmel "by the sea"...It is breathtaking beauty, quaint village, great food, free beaches. Nearby trails in the woods...Clint Eastwood country :) I don't think the beaches could possibly be more beautiful anywhere else.
No, my children are both grown and I am not particularly fond
of home schooling. I think it deprives the children of much-needed social interaction and learning to get along in the real world.
Just wait until those roots have grown out
nm
does anyone besides me have a bad relationship with a grown daughter or son?
with one of your grown-up kids, or is it only me? My oldest daughter and I do not get along, never did. I love her, but am not sure if I like her. She is very selfish and self centered and it's all about her. Everyone else see's it but her. Of course, there's a lot more to it, but last night she sent me a letter saying basically she's done with me.....not sure at all where this is coming from. I really, really don't need this right now. So, is anyone else in any kind of a similar situation with an adult child? She's 38.

"Romance novels" are all grown up now
Nora Roberts and Debbie Macomber are current faves of mine. Nora's books are a little more intense for the most part, Debbie's more funny and lighthearted. Yeah, they've got the requisite happy endings, but they're good fun reads for the most part, particularly Debbie's books.
My kids are grown, and I do NOT miss it!
I love my children, but bringing them up was the longest, hardest work that I ever did. The sheer exhaustion from never getting enough sleep made everything seem more difficult. But, we all came through it, and the payoff is the amazingly wonder relationships my children, husband and I have with each other as adults. We enjoy each other's company, and I'm so full of pride whenever I see my boys out in the world doing things on their own. After all, that was our goal all along... to raise up fine, responsible adults.
So I don't miss it, but I'm glad I did it. It was worth it. And my husband and I did a great job, if I do say so myself!
Our children are grown, our only grandchild is due to be
born tomorrow and we all talked about it and this year we are only going to buy 1 gift per person (except for the new grandson).  So, our budget will be very small this year and, for once, I am actually not stressing about Christmas. 
Yeah, well if he was grown up enough to take care
of your 5-year-old daughter, maybe you should have sent him to work. The nerve, a 13-year-old boy making his mommie work two jobs to support him.

Isn't that depending on welfare, too?

You are a joke. If I were a doctor, I would make sure you had a rubber room. By the way, making your son stay home and take care of your daughter was wrong. If you are as old as you say, it was wrong back then, as I am 37 and it was a big no no.

Nowadays, it is child neglect in a lot of places as 13 is expected to take care of no one but themselves for a long period of time.
For a grown woman you seem very dependent on
xx
Absolutely. I've known from age 9 (having grown up in --
a large family and the pandemonium that can be), that I wanted a quieter life than that. I like KIDS, but have never much cared for infants. They make me way too nervous. All that screaming they do overrides my Prozac level, and brings on homicidal thoughts. ;D
What would you do if your grown child told you
she felt like she had to walk on egg shells to be around you? Would you a) not be around her very much or at all or  b) try to change who you are to fit in with what shethinks you should be like or c) just forget what she said? We are talking a 36 year old and I, her mother, on the other side of 65.
my kids aren't grown yet, but

I definitely would not put up with the 19-yo.  He can get out and get a job.  As for your daughter, I feel for her b/c she has kids.  I'm not sure that I'd let her move in, though.  She should look for some place cheaper to live.  Offer to keep her kids for a day while she house hunts or apartment hunts.  I also understand what she's going through with childcare expense.  How old is the child she's asking you to watch this summer?  Is he/she old enough to entertain himself -- 10 or 11? -- old enough to fix himself a lunchmeat sandwich and watch TV?  If so, then I think if you could, you should consider watching him over the summer.  $250 may not seem like much, but if she's able to find somewhere cheaper to live, it could be the difference between living on her own or moving in with you. 


Obviously, you are under no obligation to help either of your children, but I suspect this situation bothers you because you care for them greatly.  Maybe a compromise could work to benefit both of you.  Good luck!


to the possible phisher/phishing folks....

or known names that should be used for animals


1.  JSG, Jonathan Livingston Seagull


2   Guido.


3.  Kira or Kyra.


4.  Frank or Felix.


5.  Todd.


6.  Domino.


7.  Angela.


8.  Raff.


9.  Lily.


10. Shaman.


Dont hate on me folks but
tomorrow I am going with my daughter to see our latest, the new Panda at the Atlanta Zoo. I am so excited. She was just put on display this past Friday so hopefully I will be able to get a glimpse of her tomorrow. She is a little over 100 days old, just beautiful and gosh looks like you could just give her a big bear (ha) hug but don’t know that would be a good idea, after all she is a wild animal. They just look so adorable and cuddly and next to my cats, she is probably the prettiest thing going. Wish you all could come along.....
Hold on, now - not all old folks have that smell
I have an aunt who is 89 and she always smells so good, likes her really nice perfume and never a stinky. She is in 80 group. I am quickly getting to that ole folks age but I also love smelling nice although I don’t do the perfume as I love those nice shower gels.
If I had been asked at such a delicate (as some folks put it)
age, I think my mother would be quirky, invading my space- after all she has her own to keep up with. The 2 posts above are saying they do jot them down. That to me is creepy. I would think the girls at that age would have been taught to be responsible and LET the parent know if they did NOT have one. That is just too weird for my thinking. My mother nor myself with my daughter (grown now) ever kept a diary of when each others periods were/are.
Cannot believe folks don't read these correctly
I NEVER said anything about how the companies perceive us to be.... where did that come from? Another below posted about the same. I am saying TRANSCRIPTIONISTS here are always complaining because they are not taken as professional, i.e. people calling them expecting them to run errands (being as you are home, others think you don't really have a job), telephone, husbands complaining. I post 1 thing and people talking about something else. It is a constant complaint on this board about TRANSCRIPTIONISTS taken for granted. The companies could care less what you or I either 1 wear.
one my folks probably thought was the worst...
but was young enough i didn't stress over it then -- and laugh about it now....the backdrop is a 'granny' who was an alcoholic, already well along when all the family arrived. We mingled and visited with one another, expecting to eat within a couple hours...and my dad asks his mom, 'hows the turkey coming mom?' and she has this blank look on her face -- like she's trying to remember, and he says, let's go take a look...and she says on the way to the kitchen, 'well dear, i guess i better take it out of the freezer!!' Needless to say, there were some frayed nerves -- so we had "Chicken Delight -- which stays open all night" !!
Maybe folks think you are upset because you keep yelling
Ultimately it is your decision whether or not to give someone the key to your home, or once they have it to let them keep it. You have to do what you are comfortable with. I have keys to my parent's home, my siblings' homes, and my cousin's home. Two of my brothers have keys to my home. We are all comfortable with that arrangement.

As a side note, you posted here about the entire situation knowing that everything in your post would be open to comment. If you did not want folks to comment on aspects your situation, then there really was no need to divulge so many details. You simply could have said, "My son is moving out of my home. I asked for the keys to my house. My mother felt this was objectionable." Then you could have asked for opinions or what other folks do.


I agree with you. I just wondered if all the folks
speaking out in defense of the bible being there would feel the same if it was another religious document that was not in line with their beliefs.

Out of curiosity, do they have bibles in public school libraries? I honestly don't know.
Some of the same folks Obama wants to give
@
I can see why some folks are giving up their pets

I just took Spot and Nerys to the vet for routine senior kitty blood checks. I also got Nerys a refill on her prednisalone. It cost $325.


Those furballs had better appreciate it tonight when I shove pills down their throats.


Old folks hating toddlers?
I am older and just glad they are not around. Don’t want to fool with them, put up with their crying, screaming, making messes, pouting, crying. I want my golden years to be just that, without the brats.