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if you decide to give

Posted By: her clothes/diapers on 2008-02-05
In Reply to: Good baby shower gifts? sm - DS

my suggestion would be to get something bigger than 0-3 months. they go through that stage so quickly and lots of people give that size.


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funny thing about when you decide to give up...

on men/relationships...That is when the right one comes along! That's how it happened for me. I, like you, had decided I was done with men, too many bad experiences, and then I met THE right guy for me.  That was almost 11 years ago and we have been married for 7-1/2 years. We have a happy marriage and a beautiful little 15-month-old girl. It's when you stop looking that the right one comes along!


The most important thing, though, is to trust your instincts. They will never steer you wrong. From your description, it sounds like a good thing, but if there is a doubt that nags at you, don't dismiss it. Just don't let prior bad relationships cloud your judgment, because they are all different.


A lot of people are so desperate for work that some will give you free bids and give you ideas while
nm
Let us know what you decide - nm
nm
I think you should tell them and let them decide what they want to do.

My husband died six months ago suddenly and unexpectedly.  My niece, who just turned 12, has always been extremely close to my husband and me, and spends a lot of time at our house.  LIke your children, she had never experienced death in a close relative before.  The day he died, my brother and sister-in-law picked her up from school and broke the news to her.  She was sad of course and she cried for quite a while. 


Her parents gave her the choice of what she wanted to do in regards to go to the funeral home and/or attend the funeral.  She chose to come to the funeral home and sit with me, and to attend the funeral. 


She later wrote on the subject when the class had to write an essay at school about a life altering event.  She wrote about how much she loved her uncle and she felt that was her last chance to say goodbye, as she didn't get to say goodbye before he died.  She was sad that he died suddenly and she didn't know ahead of time, and that seemed to hurt her a lot, even though nothing could change that.


As for me, her presence at that time made me feel a little better.  My husband's death has made she and I even closer.  She's very smart and mature for her age.  She knows sometimes when I get a little sad, that I'm thinking of my husband, and she totally understands, cause she still misses him too.


I know this is kind of rambling, but I hope it makes sense.  I think kids want to be a part of our experiences, the good and the bad, and I think to exclude them, even when you think you're protecting them, makes them feel left out. 


Good luck to you and your family.  My prayers are with you.


 


So then why take any drugs at all? Or why not let's just decide which
x
Couldn't decide whether to
laugh or vomit with that story!
How do you decide to have a baby?
This is different for EVERYONE I'm sure, but in general, if any of you are mothers... did you decide the time was right, did it just happen... did you plan?

I've been told if you wait until you can afford to have children, you'll never have them...

The predicament is this. my future husband is ready to have a baby now. He wants to be a father, and as much as this makes me fall in love with him all over again, I joked with him that his biological clock was ticking and he said in all seriousness, that he guesses it is. However, mine is not. Not now. Will this happen to me? Does it happen to every woman at some point? We are in our late 20s, but I am just asking in general, how do you compromise on something as big as having a baby? I do want a family and children, but I guess I'm just looking for people's stories on this one... Thank you!

How do you decide to have a baby?
This is different for EVERYONE I'm sure, but in general, if any of you are mothers... did you decide the time was right, did it just happen... did you plan?

I've been told if you wait until you can afford to have children, you'll never have them...

The predicament is this. my future husband is ready to have a baby now (when i say now, we would wait until after marriage). He wants to be a father, and as much as this makes me fall in love with him all over again, I joked with him that his biological clock was ticking and he said in all seriousness, that he guesses it is. However, mine is not. Not now. Will this happen to me? Does it happen to every woman at some point? We are in our late 20s, but I am just asking in general, how do you compromise on something as big as having a baby? I do want a family and children, but I guess I'm just looking for people's stories on this one... Thank you!

Easy for men to decide

Some guys are good dads - willing to pitch in and help take care of the child's needs, and give it plenty of time and attention.


There are quite a few guys out there that like the IDEA of a child - as long as it doesn't cramp their style.  This means it all devolves upon the mother - care of the child 24/7, criticism from him and his family if you aren't doing it their way, but of course any bragging rights are all theirs.


Then there are the demands of academia - when your child gets sent home with a backpack full of paperwork to review on a nightly basis, whose job will that be?


Another thought is the possibility of divorce down the road - what happens then?  Quite a few dads who let mom do all the work suddenly become superdad when the thought of child support comes along, and they will do anything to win custody so that YOU have to pay THEM.  Even if you win custody, the head games with visitation schedules, daddy's new girlfriend pushing her way into the picture, etc. never end.


Be careful.  Having a baby to stroke a man's ego can get very messy very fast.  Its a huge responsibility and too often the mother does all the work and the father takes all the credit.  Take the worst case scenarios into consideration before you decide.


So who gets to decide what is illegal and what is not? You? sm
That's a slippery slope. Like the poster below who wants sugar taxes - actually that's not a bad idea since sugary drinks and snacks are making our kids fat. Let's see - then we should tax fast food or control the amount that fatties can eat, right?

Where does it end?
Still trying to decide whether to have a hysterectomy. See message
I posted last week about my dilema about whether to have a hysterectomy or not after my left ovarian cyst (which was removed along with ovary) came back with a pathology report stating papillary serous tumor, borderline. Doctor says I should have hysterectomy for "insurance" and preventative measures. However, according to their group discussion, my tumor was borderline, but "more on the benign side". I am so confused. I'm 42 and I don't want to have a hysterectomy, but yet, I don't want to have a problem with cancer either. I have the option to follow every six months. Is this safe? Am I better off getting a hysterectomy? I just don't know what to do!!!!
So even animals help decide our fate???
Where did you read this or learn about this? I've never heard that animals will speak for or against us on judgement day...interesting.  Guess I'm in the clear, I don't do animals, don't own them, don't abuse them, don't like 'em!
Be careful if you decide to wean
and hand feed with formula and syringe.  Don't know about your type of birds, but I have a parrot that I hand fed with a syringe and the breeders instructed me and watched me do it myself to be sure I was doing it correctly before they let me take him home.  Apparently you can kill them if it goes down the wrong way, but it was really easy feeding him.  Maybe there's somebody in your area who is a bird expert you could talk to?
I re-read, so you do live together - you have to decide if he is (sm)

going to function as a dad or not, and if so, you need to BOTH be involved in decisions, not just him.  If he is not going to function as dad, he should not be involved in conferences at all.


Mercy is for God to decide - she should rot where she lays
I posted below - but have more to say. She needs to rot where she lies. That may sound harsh but I have no compassion for her and anyone else involved in those horrendous crimes they committed. "Charles Mansion brainwashed me" or whatever it is she claims. Oh brother - let me get my violin out. She knew what she was doing. You would think at some point while she is in the act of doing the horrendous things she did she would think somewhere in her pea brain - wait a minute, this is not right, and she could have easily sneaked out or called the police or something. I lived across the whole country (east coast) and still felt the horror that happened to them. It was hard growing up knowing that those pieces of garbage were out there and it could have happened to any of us just as easily. They just happened upon that house. I had nightmares because of it. Between that and the Hillside strangler and all the other creeps out there, it was hard not to have nightmares. She committed the crimes and she needs to do her time. She had no mercy for Sharon Tate and her unborn child and she so much as said so. Why she would think the court should have mercy on her. Brain tumor? Good and I hope its a very painful death for her. I always say do unto others. If she committed torture, then she should be tortured. The only one she should be asked Mercy for is from God. Maybe she should contact Roman Polanski and ask him if he thinks she should be let out early. "I would like to be out one day" Give me a break! I'm sure Sharon Tate and the other people would have liked to live. They should tell her and her family that they have no right in asking to be let out. I don't care if she can't sit up in bed. That is her problem. In fact I think they should post all the crime scene photos in her cell and let her look at those day after day and say until she dies and tell her this is why you are not being let out. Besides, if she has brain cancer who knows what she will be thinking as it progresses. Well I'm glad she's "not the same person than when she went in". But then again that's what all the prisoners say too. She did the crime - do the time (and I hope she suffers. I have no tolerance for what she did).
Is that good? I can't decide whether this would be tasty or not? nm
.
Well in my mind lust is when you decide

to give in to something and enjoy it, which I have not and will not do in this case. 


The puzzlement for me is how the attraction comes out of nowhere like that, and of course this time when it happened it is more troubling because he is so young.  It must be pheromones.  I think that's the best explanation.


 


Yep, some oldies decide on invitro
to have kids but I don’t want to have a kid in college just when I would like to retire. I see advanced maternal age listed all the time when the mother is only 34 or so, so wonder what category 41 falls under. Too many birth defects possible as the mother ages. Others can have their kids if they want at past 50, just not my cup of tea.
when u decide on a city, suggest contacting....

I'd call the Chamber(s) of Commerce of whatever city you decide to stay in and ask them the condition(s) of the area(s)  post-Katrina.....just my opinion.


Have fun on vacation!!!  :)


I just don't see why any parent would just allow a child decide to move out
It makes no sense to me. He is 16 years old and still a child. I guess I just don't understand how you have no problem with him deciding to move out and not even try to do anything about it other than take his house key. It sounds as though this 16-year old is running the show here. The whole thing is very disturbing to me.
Hi, Kelly, in case you decide to use Rogaine,
please check with your doctor first because of your thyroid issue!
Changes of a Down syndrome baby go up with age, though. You'll need to decide if an amnio & its
s
DH not happy = his prob. Let him leave or stay or decide
d
I'm 36, married 5 years, and still can't decide. I wish I had an answer for ya. But you're
x
Maybe if she sees the baby, she'll decide not to have it sucked out of her and thrown away like t
x
stick to your guns and let the bride and groom decide who they would like at the wedding(sm)
Twenty years ago there were 150 people at my wedding.  I knew MAYBE 20 of them.  My parents INSISTED on inviting every single long-distance cousin and relative, most of whom I (and certainly my husband) did not know and had never met.  Granted, MA and Dad were paying for the wedding but I've always felt like I missed out on having MY wedding because, in order to stay within their budget, I only invited about five or ten friends.  And my husband and his parents felt like they COULDN'T invite anyone because of the budget restraints and my parents' guest list.  We ended up with about 20 people on my husband's side of the church (basically his immediate family), three of his friends, five of mine, and the rest were mostly my distant, DISTANT unknown relatives (with a few close relatives scattered among the many distants).  I look back now and wish that I had taken better charge of the situation.  It certainly would have cost my parents less money because I wasn't going to invite that many people. 
How old is your child/children and when did you decide he wasn't worth the effort? nm
!
You do not give them food, you give
the children food but if they did not have the food to eat, probably would call family and children services. I do NOT give away money to anyone.
you should give it a try

what the post said about the wipes.  maybe something all natural might also do it that way the baby might not have a reaction to that and its good for the dog also.  do some research on the net if you can.  its worth it before you give your other "baby" up.  let us know what happens.  if worse comes to worse, make sure you interview prospects very well just like a baby for adoption.  hope the first one works for you :)


We would give a lot of it away, believe it or not. Then, of course, the sm
usual - pay bills, purchase gorgeous home, travel, etc.

We believed that those entrusted and blessed with much should give much. If you keep all that you have you become stagnant - like the Dead Sea. The Dead Sea has absolutely no outlet which is why everything dies that enters it. I don't think we are much different. Give in order to be happy.
Once they give me what I want, they
can do what they like but until then guess we will just have to continue to cut that massive yard. It takes us about 2 hours to get there and then spend time there just to cut. It is an all day thing.
I'm sure they have - they will give her something (or let her out) (sm)
If they let her spoiled brat behind out, I am going to be MAD.
Can't give him away--Nobody else would put up with him!
I have a big kitty (18 lbs) that acts just like that! Pulling on blinds, disturbing our sleep, doing anything and everything to get attention until he gets fed! We love him so much and know that we are the only ones in the world who would put up with him--so we can't give him away! I feed him 3 measured meals a day. Fortunately, I now live in a house with a basement, so I put him down in the basement at nightime with his 3rd meal. He cries and scratches on the door a little bit, but then he gets used to it and goes to sleep. Sometimes I have to put him down in the basement during the daytime too if he starts being too bad while I'm trying to work.

Do you have a bathroom you could put kitty in at night? Just make sure there's not too much in there for him to destroy. That would be more comfortable than a crate.
There was a give away
for me. An ad underneath said something about maze prank.


I'm going to give this a try...sm
These are my "four-legged boys".
then give him a key!!! nm
NM
Give him a big hug from me!!!!...

Whatta joyous day you guys had!    Cat   


I'm not sure if I can give the name

legally, so I'll give you some facts -- It is a major department store that changed it's store credit card into a mastercard. 


 


Don't give up on her. PLEASE don't give in to her.
She's 16, and its never too late. I just started reading this thread and my heart is broken. I hope other moms take it to heart after hearing your story. I have 3 teens, so can relate.  My husband and I came from permissive families - you know, the cool family with the house where all the kids wanted to hang out? The houses where they could get away with anything, drinking, drugs, smoking, sex, cause the parents looked the other way.  My parents were fine, upstanding, snobbish upper crust members of the community, fine church-going folks and rich.  And they didn't give a hoot about their kids in the end, though we looked great on paper.  I only wish my parents had rules. I was grown up since I was 14.  My husband, too - that's how we met and have been together 30+ years now. Our # 1 rule since our own kids were babies... NEVER are they allowed to sleep over anyone's house. Period. No exceptions.  Not relatives, not their bestest friend, not their cub scout troop. Need I say that we have never had 1 regret??? There is NO good reason for any kid to sleep anywhere than their own bed at night. Period. We realized when they were little that if we let them do the sleepover thing when they were little, but then stopped when they were older, what kind of a message was that? We knew the sweet little neighbor who at 5 years old demanded her friends sleep over, or else would throw a tantrum, would be 16 one day, and a tramp. Its that simple an equation these days, unfortunately. So, no sleep overs, no exceptions, not for church, especially not for church. LOL. How sick is that? But this is 2008 folks, and this is one messed up world.  My kids were upset a bit when they were really young, but we didn't make a big deal of it, nor in the end did they. They are cool, mature teens, and have actually thanked us for it many a time lately. We took the temptation out of their hands - kids are too young to have to go thru this crap. I know, I did.  At any rate, of all the rules I would start if I were you, I would go with the knowing where she slept at night, eacn and every night.  Otherwise, look what's happened. She has lost this privilege at the very least. Kids don't need to not come home at night.  Please don't ever fall for that one again. Even if she is at so-and-so's house, a friend, you must see what kind of kids she is hanging with.  Don't allow it, for her sake. She will never ever change unless you do it for her.  Praying for you. Be strong. She may hate you now, but she won't a year from now, or two. But at least she'll be alive to forgive you, rather than possibly dead. You know what I mean. Let your husband's European temperament prevail.  BE STRICT.  Being a strict parent does not kill your kids in the end, honest. 
yes! and why do I have to give my
account number, name and address to a phone tree when I will have to do it all over again when I speak to a real person?
Don't give up!
I've been sewing all my life. My grandfather had a Sew N Vac type store when I was a little girl, and he used to have me and some of my other cousins come into the shop and sew during store hours to show customers that it was "so easy, even a child can do it!" I learned to sew before I even went to school! He even had some antique machines with foot pedals that we kids used to play with. I have all sorts of machines, from antique hand-crank Singers to cheap Wal-Mart plastic machines, and high-end Pfaff and Viking sewing machines and sergers.

Check out local sewing and fabric stores for classes. You can also try visiting Meetup.com, which is a really cool place to find all sorts of people who get together to pursue their interests. I don't know where you live, but I checked in my area, and there are several groups for beginning sewing listed. Maybe there are in yours, too.

With that said, I really have to tell you that Singer machines are not the best. Since the company was sold many, many years ago the quality has gone downhill. They are not built to last and have many parts that break very easily. In my experience, a simple mistake in threading some Singers will place a lot of tension on a weak part in the thread line. Something will snap or break, and once it's broken, you can't get the machine to feed thread properly as you sew.

Unfortunately, a really good machine can cost hundreds of dollars, and it's hard for a beginning sewer to make that sort of investment not knowing if it's something they'll be doing for a long while. I always recommend going to a store that deals in higher end machines. (Pfaff happens to be my favorite.) Then ask to try machines or take classes with their display machines. You learn basic sewing techniques and you learn what makes one machine better than another.

I suggest that if your machine is brand new, you return it for a refund. Take some sewing classes first, and try different machines. Then you can make a better, more informed purchase, which in turn, should result in successful and fun sewing!

I'm sorry. You probably didn't want to hear that, but I can't say that I'm a fan of Singer machines. Even if you get it to work, it's likely to fail not long down the road, which will only frustrate you. I'm willing to bet it's the machine and not you.
I just give
the roll a spin and catch the end of the paper. I've never given it a thought as to which way it should go.
Okay, I give up...
What are the mothballs going to do to the cat?

I have had the worst time with this new kitty. We have already tried the hot sauce and he actually likes hot sauce, interestingly enough.

He has absolutely destroyed my tree this year. It looks like Charlie Brown's Christmas tree at this point. (Not really but almost!)
I would give it to him. All of it. NM
x
Here's what I give a lot. s/m
Go to Lowe's or Home Depot and they have house numbers, usually really pretty ceramic ones, that you can "make" with a little wrought iron frame to put the house numbers in that will stick into the ground. 
Let me give you an example of something else
You might have come out okay but when my daughter still in middle school, was going to a high school in the afternoons for violin meetings with the teacher and other students. Daughter came home stating how a big girl was trying to trip her, cursing, etc. and the teacher would do nothing about it. As a fly on the wall (along with others there) I attended one afternoon and saw exactly what my daughter said was true. The teacher terrified of this older girl, probably in the 10th or 11th and I went to the office, told them to come down there immediately. A day or so later I was in the office, heard the mother and the child in there together. The girl got 3 days dentention. Lady, this was 1 parent you would never want to follow and talk with/confront. She was as bad if not worse than the child and not the kind that would take to you in any kind of way saying anything to them or their child. You should thank your lucky stars on talking with the guy/son. This happened not lately but over 20 something years ago and the school rowdy then and still same way.
Aside from the give and take
and genetic personality differences, people's minds have been programmed differently due to experiences (and they way the perceive them due to genetics). Because of that we all view, hear, perceive through our own unique filters. (Have you ever noticed even in casual conversation how often other people misunderstand what you are saying?)

It seems that this is pretty much the root of most difficulty in getting along. Many people aren't really aware and go through life reacting to things (that trigger emotions) programmed from childhood. On top of that, people are usually quite unaware of how they affect other people.

We could get into a really lengthy discussion on this, but it would be difficult in writing. : )

Certain couples will have a lot easier time, and likely you are 1/2 of one of them Sally. Bonus!! Just make sure that your husband has the same perspective on the relationship. Sometimes one person thinks everything is glorious, but the other person is just sucking it up all the time.

Not trying to be nasty, but just mentioning that because that actually happens more than one would think.

I think a better promotion of marriage rather than saying you have to work at it, would be to say you need to be aware and care. : )
Can anyone give me the name of the very best

multivitamin on the market?  I have tried multivitamins in the past and never noticed a difference, a friend told me that it had to do with what type of multivitamin that I am taking.  I truly need something that is going to give me more energy than I have now.  Can anyone recommend something please?


TIA!!!


I would give it all up too (except AC).
Everything is so expensive, even to watch TV cost $70 a month. That's just ridiculous.

I would love to sell everything and start over again and go simple. Have the cash to do some fun things instead of having to work all the time to keep the stuff. I would just like to pack up the car and drive cross country and not have to worry about anything.
GIVE ME A BREAK
If she can afford a Cadillac Escalade, then why is she on food stamps?  This has nothing to do people who DESERVE the aid given to them in this country via food stamps or anything else.  It's about the people who lie and abuse the system and YOU and I PAY for it in our taxes.  Open your mind.....not your legs!!
Maybe that ESL could give a class
on "Keeping Your Transcriptionist Happy"!