not a sympathy card...
Posted By: blondie on 2008-01-27
In Reply to: I want to tell you about what you have suggested - Sympathy?
Just a congrats on your new baby and friendship, etc... No, sympathy on behalf of the baby would be totally out of order. The baby is fine except for a common foot deformity. It is correctable. No she needs a pick me up card. Something to brighten her day.
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IMO a card would not be out of order at all. Except a sympathy card, of course.
I totally agree a sympathy card wouldn't quite be the thing, but it sounded to me that the original poster of that idea didn't mean a sympathy card like one for death. I think sympathy in the sense of "hey, you had a rough time of it with this birth, and maybe things haven't been the way you imagined, but know that I'm thinking of you and I'm here if and when you need me."
I got PPD when my breastfeeding relationship didn't go right, following a birth plan that went seriously awry, and the reality of a fussy, picky baby instead of the happy, sleeping one that I had imagined.
I *did* spend a lot of time on the phone, but then everybody's different. I would have loved to get a cheerful card from a friend, however. Does anybody NOT like a card?
Need help on what to write on sympathy card for baby SM
My friends just lost a baby to SIDS. The funeral is tomorrow. Unfortunately I can't make it, but I'm sending a sympathy plant/flowers. I'm at a total loss for words. What should I write on the card? Appreciate any input.
I was just saying I think it would be out of line also to send her a sympathy card...
I AM leaving her alone. I am just asking for other insight since I don't understand this. Like have other people done this. I am not pushy. If I were pushy I would keep calling and asking to speak with her or go over. I am respecting her wishes. I haven't been over because she said she doesn't want anyone over. How am I pushy?
How important is it to you to receive a sympathy card
How important is it for you to receive a sympathy card? I know this has been quite a long time now (3 years), but still bothers me. My mom died 3 years ago and I received only 3 cards. One from my DH's aunt & uncle and my best friend sent me 2 cards. Nobody else sent me a card. My MIL, BIL (3 of them - all married), SIL, co-workers (8 of them), people in my quilting guild that I've been quilting with for years and years. None of them. I went back for the funeral and listed to my sister and aunt tell each other about how many cards they got and how much they were loved by their friends (they made it into a joke as to who was more loved by who got more cards :-) My sister got about 18 or 20 cards and my aunt got about 30. They said they were sure when I got back I'd have many cards waiting for me (I flew back 2 days after hearing of my moms death). My sister even offered me some of her cards. I came home and had just the 3 cards. My best friend also send me some "cheering up gifts". But still nothing from anyone. I never said anything to DH but it bothered and still does bother me that people thought so little of me than to send me a card letting me know they were thinking about me. The worst thing was that I always sent them birthday, anniversary, and sympathy cards to them. I even would send them sympathy cards when their pets died.
Well I'm over it, but every once in awhile I think about it and it just saddens me. So now I don't send any of them any cards for anything. Just wondered if it bothers other people like it did me.
I just got back from buying a sympathy card for my brother's MIL, glad I did now. nm
x
Have U renogiated credit card debt when minimum payment got too high? Do they take your card away,
s
Credit Card Reform Can Cost Good Card Users
Part of article:
Credit cards have long been a very good deal for people who pay their bills on time and in full. Even as card companies imposed punitive fees and penalties on those late with their payments, the best customers racked up cash-back rewards, frequent-flier miles and other perks in recent years.
Now Congress is moving to limit the penalties on riskier borrowers, who have become a prime source of billions of dollars in fee revenue for the industry. And to make up for lost income, the card companies are going after those people with sterling credit.
We pay off our balance every month. If they do this (punish those who have sterling credit) Ridiculous!! I'll stop using my CC and pay by cash or check.
So much for reform.
No sympathy here.
I was taken advantage of by a family member when I was very young. I blocked it out for years -- almost lost my marriage because of it. When the flashbacks came I thought I was losing my mind. I feel no sympathy for anyone who does this to a child. Speaking from the otherside of it -- you may move on, but it stays with you forever. It is a club I would rather not be a part of.
No sympathy--sm
I have read the message from the poster below reminding us that the abusers are someones child, as well. That someone loves them too. Well, love them, yes. Condone what they did. NO.
It is just my opinion that these types of people CANNOT be *rehabilitated*. It is as much within them as homosexuality is within a homeosexual person. It is not something that is *learned*. It is bred within them and cannot be *cured*.
I was, and I will use the term that was inflicted on me, RAPED...40 years ago. It is still within me. Yes. I have *moved on* and do not think about it or dwell on it...but the after effects just never go away. It has affected every male/female relationship and some friendships that I have ever been involved in. I have given up on trying to have a relationship with anyone, as my psyche will just end up ruining it. I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than to ever hurt anyone else again. The person who inflicted himself on me has nothing to bear within his soul. He will never know the kind of pain he has inflicted upon others. He just gets his *satisfaction* and moves onto the next one..until he is caught. But even then, his *sentence* can never come anywhere close to what he has done to his victim. Ever.
so. no sympathy here. That one *event* changed my life forever, but not his.
Don’t need sympathy from you or anyone here
I said rudeness, saying a person not smart enough to ask something- this is, like I said, a forum. People can and do ask a lot of different things here- not that you have to fricking use the advice! Not that you take the advice always! But, people sometimes have similar things happen in their lives. That is what I am saying. No sense in people being suck jerks!
You have all my sympathy ! Been there, done that. nm
x
no sympathy, as long as they are
rightly convicted. I myself have been molested as a child, not severely, not even long-term, but it has had a PROFOUND effect upon my mental/emotional/sexual being. It took flashbacks after almost 30 years to piece it all together and understand the impact upon my life. and NO, i don't think they 'rehabilitate'. I think life in prison is the minimal most of these offenders should do. Death would be better for the more persistent and violent offenders.
Now I will give you my sympathy as you did for me
the other day as my baby Kitty-Kat was dying. I really feel your sorry.
Thanks for the advice and sympathy.
It's not just the pain, but have you also had such trouble procrastinating, or when you get started, cannot keep concentration? Combine all three, and heavens it is hard to get through a day. I am a bit better today compared with yesterday, thank God.
I will be sure to try the flax oil and taurine supplement you suggested, "MT also in NC." Thanks so much.
Not looking for sympathy, in fact
I figure to get the opposite! Doesn't matter! I'm a smoker ... yeah that's right, a dirty low life scum of the earth polluting your air smoker! One of the few little pleasure I have in life. When the price of cigarettes went sky high, we started "rolling our own". It was a lot cheaper, for a while. The price of the tobacco went up, but still much cheaper than cigarettes. Well today, DH was informed at or local tobacco store, that because of a new tax hike, it will go from $9.14 a can to over $20.00 by April 1st? Ok. I'm done, let the stoning begin...
Do you have sympathy for child molesters?
Can they be rehabilitated, or should they serve life sentences?
Many people seem to have such mixed feelings about child molesters, like “Well he’s always been such a nice guy,” (duh, how do you think they convince the kids to trust them?), or “They really can’t help it.”
I personally do not have mixed feelings. I believe they should serve life sentences for the torturing of these children. I believe that 99% (if not all) cannot be rehabilitated, they are child rapists for life. In many states molesters are only charged with a misdemeanor if they fail to register as a child molester. This is unacceptable.
Please write your senators and governor and urge them to fund the ADAM WALSH ACT, which will make failure to register a FELONY and help make consistent and uniform laws for ALL STATES. Most of these rapists are not dumb and take advantage of the vast differences in state laws, hopping from state to state trying to find the most lenient laws.
The link below will take you to oprah.com to download a prewritten letter that can be sent to your representatives and links to their addresses. It took me less than 2 minutes to print all the information out, and it could help change our country.
http://www2.oprah.com/tows/slide/200702/20070221/slide_20070221_284_118.jhtml
It is estimated that 1 out of every 4 girls and 1 out of every 10 boys will be sexually assaulted by the time they are 18. Over 260,000 children are abducted each year in America. PLEASE DO YOUR PART TO HELP.
I just wanted to send my sympathy your way...
May you find comfort in the Lord.
Sympathy cards are so inadequate sm
Maybe the people who did not give you cards had a difficult time finding something and just didn't get one at all because of that. I spent a great deal of time at the store yesterday looking through cards to give a friend who just lost her 7-year-old son. They all say basically the same thing and none of them say the right thing because there is no card in the world that will bring a loved one back. In the end, I did pick one out to give the family but still feel it is woefully inadequate to express how my heart aches for them and their loss.
Dating sympathy (from married person)
I would hate to go back to dating. I've been married 18 years but I do remember what single life and dating were like.
The majority of them were creeps for one reason or another (especially the one going to law school - I got my first clue when I saw a sticker inside his car - his last name is also an occupation and the sticker said _________ know all the right strokes). (eye roll)
I mentioned in another post that I had moved into an apt. with my boyfriend of about a year, and 3 weeks later, he left me for his ex-wife.
At that point, I swore off of men. I figured I'd just live in the same apartment and go to work at the hospital 5 days a week for the rest of my life. That's when my husband walked into my life.
I had first met him in 1985 when, after graduating high school, I went to work at McDonald's. He was a swing manager, 2 years older and so darned handsome. We dated for quite awhile but it wasn't exclusive. He then joined the navy and got married. Three years later, his ex told him she needed to get a life and filed for divorce.
About 3 months prior to this, I swore off men for good. Then, one day, I was working a Saturday at the hospital (I think it was to make up for the day I missed when I had a diagnostic laparoscopy - yeah, it was stupid going back to work the day after you have surgery). I got a phone call from my mom, asking me if I remembered such and such. My husband's sister had called my parents' house but my mom didn't want to give out info, so she called and gave the info to me. I called his sister and we gabbed. I told her I remembered her and definitely remembered him. She asked me to meet her and her boyfriend at a bar along with my (future) husband. Well, I said "what the heck". I agreed to go.
Now, this is 3 days status post a laparoscopy and they weren't as good about getting the CO2 out back in 1990 as they are today and that day, I had gas so bad, I probably could have filled up my gas tank 3 times over. I spent almost the entire date squeezing my cheeks together (thankfully we weren't dancing or doing other physical things - LOL). I still had a really good time but was relieved when I left his house. I lived about 10 minutes away and I swear, I must have passed gas the entire ride home.
He knows all about it now. Heck, I can't remember the last time I even closed the door to the bathroom. We have no kids and if I do close the door, all 3 pugs sit outside and scratch the door, whine and cry. I gave up. I'm sometimes even "lucky" enough to have one of them on my lap while I'm going.
Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is love/good relationships seem to come when you least expect them. When I pursued dating or had someone fix me up, or met a guy in a bar or whatever, it never ended well. Nowadays, how do you know if you're supposed to pay half for the date?
Like I said, I feel for you guys. If my husband dropped dead tomorrow, I think I'd remain single the rest of my life.
Good luck to all of you and God bless!
gas card
I always go with cash, but if you don't like that maybe a gift card to the local gas station. Ours has this in any denomination you choose.
Credit card (SM)
There was information about credit cards and interest rates going around late last year/early this year. Basically, from what I understand with the new bankruptcy law this was attached to it. The credit card companies can and will charge you and me whatever interest rate they want to, and the only thing we can do is cancel the card and pay off the balance. There were these little inserts with your statements that many of us just throw away and never think about it. But I did read the ones that were sent with several of my statements, and I kindly told them to keep my rate where it was and I canceled the card. Sad but true. 
Gift Card
Just a note. I learned from my daughter and my neices that the VISA gift cards are the prefered gift card. They can be used anywhere salons, stores, and even gas stations which for a 16-yo can be a lifesaver.
About my credit card
I owed close to $10,000.00 about 2 months ago on my credit card and called to make sure I sent the right amount as paying it off. After I paid in full, they also sent a "finance charge" for around 35 to 40 dollars. I paid that but have discontinued using that card. I have another card, used during Christmas, interest about half of the other one and getting that paid off before long also, just sent $500.00 towards that yesterday. I on the first had asked for payoff amount but the finance not there when I asked.
I think a card or something simple would be
appropriate. It is the thought that counts. I'm not talking a diamond ring or something! He just doesn't make much of any holidays. Yes, my kids are very young so they cannot do much themselves. One time he did take the kids for part of the day and let me relax.
Anyone Want a Calling Card?
I just bought a calling card for work and it screws up the dictation too bad. Would anyone like it for personal use? I can e-mail the number and PIN to you. No charge, just don't want it to go to waste, and we have a cell phone for LD.
When it says no gifts, I always take a card. nm
!
yes, I got a Kohl's card
I love to shop at Kohl's. Will be heading there Saturday, after my son does something with my hair - can hardly wait!!!
all of them that I can because my debit card
so I rack up the points paying my bills online with it!!
credit card
I've not had personal experience, but I know to be wary of some of those companies that advertise. I saw a financial advisor on the Today Show and she said to make sure you go with Consumer Credit Counseling; maybe there's a link on the Today Show website. Good luck!
Pay off our credit card
And with the little we'd have left just put it in the bank
Maybe not a gift card
but a gift certificate to a groomer might be nice!
I've never used an air card, but
I hear they are just as fast. I don't know anything about them, really, sorry
Questions about your card-
Have you paid on time every time and have you paid the amount due? I have credit cards and mine have not gone up- in fact if they did I would call, tell them what an excellent customer I have been and then ask for a reduction in the credit rate. Have done before and they did this for me.
Used my debit card for everything - sm
but spent too much, about $800 in all. Got overcharged on my gift cards, bought 2 at $50, but got charged for 5.....just got my money back from the offending store on that one, which was quite a fight. They would not even listen to me, filed papers with the bank and sent the company a nasty detailed email to their complaint department, which believe it or not did the trick. My bank did not have to do anything in the end, just kept me informed on what the store was doing, took a week to get it resolved, but got my $164.85 back.
My husband and I have one card
that we pay off every month. I am so sick and tired of being punished for being responsible when irresponsible people are constantly getting "taken care of." We should be rewarding responsible people....not the other way around. This is ridiculous and frankly....it p!sses me off.
credit card debt
Not sure what will happen, but I do wish you luck. Credit card debt is an unsecured type of debt. I don't know what more they can do to you other than a judgement. Not sure you can put that under a bankruptcy either once the judgement has been placed. I know a lawyer that handles a lot of bankruptcies -- did some work for him. He always asked his clients if late payments had gone to judgements. If they had not gone that far he was pleased about it. I guess it made things easier legally. Not really sure.
Welcome back card to Hilton
Dear Hilton:
We are so happy to have you back. We heard about your rash. We think this poem will help. Post it above your cell toilet:
If you're here to have a sit -
stand on the seat.
The crabs at Lynwood Jail
can jump ... three feet!
I use my credit card!!!! Priceless!
Actually it was an expired one. Hubby laughed. I use Dawn Power Disolver in the blue bottle. Works wonders. Then IF I have to scrape I have used the credit card of course, but fine metal spatula or a razor, but I use one of those like you scrape paint with that has the handle like an ice scraper.
I LOVE the gas card idea...nm
111
I got a card at Christmas that I did not open
and put in a drawer- so no not everyone wants a card. The poster needs to mind her business and cool it. I would be totally put off by a popping in to see me, taking a dinner over for me, etc. etc. I think the mother said new mother does not WANT to be bothered. What is so hard to understand about that? Lots of people are worn out after giving birth and want time to recuperate. The poster made to do about her friend not accepting calls while hubby home and she does, and so? The new mother in her own home makes her own rules and the rule she has for right now is not seeing any people or talking on the phone, her wishes.
I think a card is a good idea to let her know you are there for her when she is
good and ready. Those cards did help me.
I wanted to tell you that my PPD was so severe I ended up overdosing and spending 2 weeks in the hospital due to severe depression. It is a serious disease.
a charge card slot in their
bra LOL
Thank you - belated card and flowers to you :-) sm
I can't figure out why some people get treated well and others don't. I think maybe those of us who take care of others a lot are just taken for granted...I just don't know what it is. Thank you for caring!
I could have sworn I saw one for a Green Card
 -- I think this dude needs one!
My husband has a CitiBank card - sm
They call 4-5 times every day and are demanding that he make payments AHEAD. They want him to pay through March 2009. What the heck is that about? They will not stop calling and he has made his monthly payments so why are they demaning that he pay ahead now?
Did anyone's credit card payment any go up
seems chase is changing policies on their credit card holders. charging 10 service fees if you want to keep your promotional rate. also doubling minimum payments. Didn't they have financial problems in 2008?
The credit card companies are going
to be do everything they can get away with in the next year because of the new rules that will go into effect in 2010. Keep an eye on your interest rates. I have a couple that went up for no apparent reason. I called them immediately. One company lowered my interest rate below what it had previously been. The other did not, and I paid it off and did not use it for a while. They sent me a notice a recently that my credit limit had been increased and the rate had been reduced (back to what it had been previously, of course).
The link below has a synopsis of the new rules that will take effect next year.
Nope. Usually, we use the credit card...
just because it keeps my husband and myself from seeing how much was spent and where until after Christmas (we both frequently check the bank account online). This year, though, the one positive thing about my husband being in Iraq is that I did not go crazy with Christmas like I usually do and I explained to all the extended family that I was not buying much for anyone except my son. Thus, no debt this year, although we always pay it off fairly quickly. I think the highest my credit card has ever been is $700.
I always give handmade card. Also, SM
a romantic evening is in order. If you have small children, can they stay at relatives home for the evening? It falls on a Saturday, so might work.
Make it real romantic. Details of which I would be too fearful to relate here. Show him how special he is to you.
Why would you send in an RSVP card
for dinner. The answer I would give is NO. I got an invitation to a cousin's wedding, someone I never heard from, her mother (paternal aunt), never heard from her either and I laughed and threw the invite in the garbage. Why would you even think you had to go or even respond?
Is there a debit card available where a bank
?
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