My daughter is 10 also and just had her first boyfriend...

I was very upset about it at first.  At my friend's suggestion, I sat down with my little girl and asked her exactly what she thought it meant to have a boyfriend.  I asked her if they would be holding hands, if they would be kissing.  She was shocked and a little embarrassed, but I'm glad we had that talk because I don't think it occurred to her that he might expect those things. 

I also made it very clear that young relationships last days, not years.  So, when he broke up with her after 27 days (she counted) she wasn't all that shocked and probably took it better than she would have if we hadn't talked about it. 

• what would you do when your 10y/o told you - she has boyfriend
  • My daughter is 10 also and just had her first boyfriend... - M
  • with a grain of salt..................sm - she is only 10, I would take it all
  • Don't worry about it. In 5-6 years you'll have plenty to worry about! - Oldie but Goodie
  • So does my 10-yo...... - SM
  • Little girls that age have been saying this forever. Don't worry! nm - Blu
  • Personally I would not worry about it. At 10 they really can't get any "alone" time -sm - Laura E.
  • At that age... - Hmmm.
    • I think you need to ... - old MT

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Boy, I love that this board is available.  I'm an IC and only have catastrophic insurance so there's no mental health access available for me.

Anyway, here it is:

1.  I've noticed over the years that my boyfriend has periods of what seems to be a depression. It impacts his treatment of me, it then kind of upsets our routine and, of course, it upsets me. It seems that NOTHING I do or say can get him out of it.  In fact, the perkier or more cheerful I try to be, the more he withdraws (I must pretty get annoying, too, do ya think? with all that perkiness).  So I just try to stay out of his way and it usualy doesn't last more than about 10 days, usually more like 3-4.  Sometimes he can go up to as long as a month or two without one of these episodes. 

2.  When I try to talk to him about my concerns he generally goes into a denial thing.  It's usually a given, with him, that anything wrong in our relationship or even sometimes in his relationships with others, is absolutely my fault, but that's another story.  So when I mention casually or carefully that he seems down, is everything all right it kind of makes him get mad and aggressive and usually he will say "yeah, WHY?" kind of in an ugly way.  So as I said, usually I say nothing.  On occasion, he has admitted that he gets down at times but that's all he'[ll say, and then later he doesn't seem to remember that he admitted this. 

3.  A while back I approached him about his depressed mood and he got kind of defensive.  I mentioned that he acts particularly down around his brother and that his brother had said that he noticed he seemed depressed quite a bit lately and thought he was "suicidal" although I think the brother was just kind of exaggerating on the suicidal thing.  I only mentioned the brother commenting on his being down because, as always, my boyfriend usually denies any problem, and says it just my making things up. 

4.  Today my boyfriend got very angry that I had told him that his brother said he thought he seemed depressed - what kind of a girlfriend would mention something like that.  I said "a caring one" and should I just "pretend nothing is wrong" and no one else sees this either?  I said it wasn't meant to be an attack but a reaching out.  A couple other folks have seen my boyfriend in his depressed state and commented on it also (I have never told him that).  I said one of the reasons I mentioned his brother's comment was because he always negates what I say, tells me it's basically all in my head, nothing is wrong with him....blah-blah-blah. 

5.  He asked me how I would feel if my family talked to HIM about them thinking I was depressed.  I said I would be touched and concerned and most of all would feel like they really cared about me.  I certainly wouldn't be enraged.  He says I am lying about that.  He said it over and over that I couldn't possibly feel that way.  I said that depression is not like calling someone dishonest or cruel, that it's out of that realm completely.  That when people ask about how you are doing that they care about you.  He laughs cruelly at me when I say these things.  He also says this has driven a wedge into our relationship, that he can't trust me and that all I want to do say mean things about him.  I say "huh, what in the heck are you talking about?"

6.  Incidentally his sister committed suicide after cycles of depression for many years.  The family knew she had problems but didn't really get involved or try to contact her or do an intervention in the weeks before her suicide.  Most of all, they didn't talk to each other about what was going on either.   I was thinking this was perhaps family tradition to turn away from highly charged emotional issues?  I don't know, as I said, I don't operate like that.  I'm more from the school of "hey, there it is - let's talk about it.  But everytime I try to talk about it he denies it or tells me I'm lying.

HELP!!!!

She was allowed at 10 but was afraid. LOL. A lot of people asked me why I didn't get her ears pierced as a baby, but I just felt that was something for her to decide. She turns 13 in September and wants to get her second holes. I told her that I will get mine done too.

I just felt 10 was an age where she could decide and also take care of her ears and earrings. Everyone has their own opinion on this, I don't think anyone is really wrong. Good luck.  

You may be distracted with worrying about her and not "be there" for your hubby 100%.  As other posters have said, she can visit & pay her respects at the graveside, on her own time.

My son was only 5 when my Gramps died and though I took him to the visitation (I had not sitter) with every intention of keeping him away from the open casket, he managed to get up there anyway.

He's 22 now and when my mother passed away 2 years ago, the one he was very very close to, she was cremated and we had such a casual memorial for her.  He was able to speak about their good times and how he would always know she was with him when he heard Nat King Cole, etc. 

He told me later that this was so much "cooler" than when great gramps died.  "Never let me lay in a casket for people to just stare at Mom".  So, even though he was just 5 at the time, he remembers it clearly. 

My sympathies to your hubby and all.

She was young and immature and very unsure of what to do.  Although I may have objected (to myself) if she had chosen termination, I supported her decision whether or not I agreed, after all she was an adult.  

She needed an ultrasound and saw that there were actually babies (yes babies - with an "s") and that helped her decide right then and there.  She is now the grown up mother of twin girls who are about to be 2 and are a joy to us all.

She was lucky though as her boyfriend was there and he still is. They aren't married still after 4 years, but I guess I shouldn't push it.  I get to see my grandtwins all the time.

I'm grateful that she decided to bring double joy into all of our lives, however, as I said before, I would have supported her decision and you need to be there to support your niece, whether you agree or not, as she is your family and she needs you.

Good luck to you and to her.

The Strasbourg train takes you through 14 Amish dairy farms and is a wonderful trip, eastern PA....Lancaster, and the food is great in that area!  People are wonderful there (as they are in Western PA too).

Hope you enjoy your trip wherever you decide to go. I'm thinking of relocating from FL to PA in about 2 years.

We just found out that my 3-year-old has to have her eye operated on on August 24th.  Her eye turns in and glasses therapy hasn't helped.  They're going to cut the muscle in her eye so that it's not as tight and can move the eye straight.  I was wondering if anyone else had to go through this?  I had the choice between our local hospital or nearby surgery center and I chose the surgery center thinking it may not look as frightening to a 3-year-old.