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social anxiety

Posted By: Karen on 2006-09-25
In Reply to: I am just feeling blah... - Ann

Maybe we're loners.


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Social anxiety, yes!!
So good to know I am not alone.  Just last night I was at karate class watching my kids and watching all the other moms interact.  This is how it always is for me.  Watching everyone else chat and laugh and have a good time.  I am very uncomfortable in social situations, and it seems like everyone else is not at all uncomfortable.  Feels like I am the only one in the world with this. I don't really want to rely on a med, but I don't know how to get past this.  All my neighbors are very close knit, I am the only one who never interacts or joins in on the get-togethers.  They must think I'm stuck up.  The truth is, I would rather take a beating than go to a block party!  Any ideas on how to get past this? 
Anyone have social anxiety disorder?
No anxiety from this old gal, at
52 menopause keeps me warm and toasty. 
I too have always been on the shy side, and it's not that I don't like people, it's just that I hate being in social situations where there are lots of people, like weddings for example.  I only go to those events if I absolutely have to.  For me it is not lack of self esteem.  I feel I have a lot to offer.  It is just that I have more of a quiet type of personality, less outgoing, more introverted.  Sometimes I wish I was a bit more outgoing, but not often and it is definitely one of the reasons I love working at home. 
But I'm wondering, is it really a "BAD" thing or is just that our personalities are different from really outgoing types? I mean, I'm uncomfortable in a crowd of people I don't know and a little shy. It's just my personality. Is it really bad to be shy to the point where you need medication? I don't feel it is. We are all different with different strengths and weaknesses.
I'm not sure if it is anxiety....
I have considered that anxiety could be a possibility, as I definitely experienced it as a child myself. However, it seems to be less likely the cause because he shows no 'classic' signs of anxiety that would make me think otherwise. He is a great kid, no struggles in school (actually he is doing GREAT in school!), normal home life, normal activities, has a Wonderful teacher, etc. I volunteer at his school every Monday in his classroom. I have looked for signs of anxiety while in the classroom as well. He seems perfectly fine, listens well and does his work, and is not clingy with me (which I thought could happen, especially when leaving, but he winks at me from across the room and knows that I'm leaving and is fine with that.) His teacher said he doesn't seem anxious to her either. He is a great reader and he gets up in front of the class and reads to them (this is something I Never would have had the courage to do at this age!) So, I hesitate to think it is 'nerves', but I'm not sure. Thanks for your input! :)
Do you suffer from postmenopausal anxiety? If so, how do you handle it? Am having a terrible problem.
Do you ever awaken in the morning with anxiety? I border on panic some mornings and just HATE feeling that way. I have no medication to help control this, but like you, I could not take anything during the day because I would go to sleep. That would definitely make my work day a bit more difficult!!
Does it ever end on its own?
Has been 5 years now for me. I have been on medication in the past, but decided, because of side effects of meds, to try to handle it alone. Not doing too well with that. Can't seem to get past it. I guess I was hoping you could provide a definitive answer - you know something quick, cheap, and easy, and VOILA - no more anxiety! Oh well!! TKX anyhow and best to you!
Anyone else have anxiety using heat?
I've had to turn on the old heater this past week and I must admit I'm feeling really nerrrrrvous about getting my bill! I'm afraid to keep it on for fear of a thousand dollar charge! Anyone else with "heating bill anxiety"?
Heat anxiety
I live in AZ so our big bills are in the summer for the AC. I moved back to upstate NY for a few years and am back in AZ now. When in NY I almost froze and had huge electric bills, so I bought a little electric space heater and put it under my desk. It kept me toasty all day and I didn't have to crank up the heat in the entire house to stay thawed out. Give it a try! Heating costs have gone up everywhere this year because the poor oil companies really are hurting for money (HA). The little space heater will really do the trick and keep you toasty all winter. What part of the country are you in?
Heat anxiety--here's what I'm trying sm

Hubby wants the furnace on 67--too cold for me but we settled on 68.  Last year we had it at 70.  Our windows this year have all new caulking and loose windows are sealed shut, but that didn't seem to be enough. I bought a bunch of those 4.00 fleece blanket throws 50 x 60 " from Big Lots and some cafe rod clips from Walmart, enough to adequately cover all 20 windows. I cut the blankets in half and put 7 clips on each half, hung them on a standard rod and they cover the windows adequately for me.  If you want more fluffiness, use 1 blanket and 14 rod clips for each panel. It really helps in keeping the sun out of my office which is way too hot during the day being on the south side but then gets cold at nights when I work, so the blankets keep out the drafts. So far, so good.  We'll see if it helps on our gas charges. So far, they have us on budget billing and our bills are 72.00 a month.  Hopefully, they will go down a little more. I'm going to try leaving them up in the summer to see if they keep out the heat and keep in the air conditioning. I priced the thermal rubber backed drapes and they were about 25.00 to 50.00 a window-a little bit more than I can spend right now.

Anxiety attack maybe
I have read some of the other posts and yours. It sounds to me like maybe an anxiety attack, but not a panic attack. Panic attackes are usually more severe like those others have explained. I have anxiety attacks where I cannot catch my breath and cannot talk. My mom has suffered two panic attacks that were much different and more severe. One landed her in an ambulance. Panic attacks are like others have said you feel like you are dying. Those around you may suspect a heart attack or that you are dying when you are actually having a panic attack. My mom did not know where she was or who anybody was. She could not speak or breath clearly. She could not move either. I can understand not having insurance. I have been there. I would monitor if it happens again and when you are able to go see a doctor. We have a discount clinic in our town so maybe you can check into that. They charge a cheaper office visit fee.
Maybe he had stool anxiety...nm

anxiety disorder
I'm feeling I have this, though have never been clinically diagnosed.  I get very uncomfortable in large crowds and much prefer being in a setting with just one or two people or even being alone.  I have gotten worse as I've gotten older.  Then again, I really seem to ENJOY my solitude so I'm not certain it's a bad thing completely.  
dog anxiety from thunder

We are having record thunderstorms here in NM this  Aug.  My dog is outside in her fenced yard while I am at work in the daytime.  She has a dog house and  a covered area. She goes literally nuts when it thunders.  Sometimes I can get home to let her in, but not always.  The vet gave me Clomiprizine today (50 mg capsules) to give her in the morning.  I don't know, should I try something more natural, or try giving her half. Not sure what to do, don't like the idea of tranquelizing her but she will try to chew through anything to get out and is in danger of hurting herself, or getting run over if she does get out.  Any suggestions?   

storm anxiety
I'm in Tampa, the lightning capital of the country, and my poor dog has gone crazy ever since our house was struck by lightning (scared us humans pretty bad too). Storms come up so fast that tranquilizers don't kick in fast enough. My vet suggested turning on music, which helps some. I've also created a safe space for him inside my bedroom closet. If at all possible I wouldn't leave your dog outside. Lots of dogs here panic during storms, get out, and get lost.
When you get older, more anxiety?
I am in the 60s now so don't know about it getting worse. Am looking forward to a high school reunion this weekend. I only have anxiety if I have to speak in front of a lot of people or even stand on a stage in front of people. I love my home and so love being able to work from home but as far as anxiety escalating in later years, ?? same as before for me.
thanks, i feel better now. yes, the anxiety is something different. nm
Given the extreme nature of your anxiety
plus your other medications, I wouldn't mess with it. Just because it's "natural" doesn't mean there aren't any side effects. The warnings on RxMed say not to take with MAO, SSRI, tricyclic antidepressants or dopamine agonists.

For starters, St. John's wort causes skin photosensitivity, mucus membrane inflammation, and interferes with birth control pills. I don't know if that's a concern for you or not. Kava kava can cause skin reactions, pupillary dilatation, lack of skeletal muscle coordination, and may exacerbate depression.

There are some European studies out there indicating that St. John's wort is effective with mild side effects. Still, I'd avoid taking herbs period with your existing symptoms and medications.
Heat anxiety solution
I have "electricity" anxiety all the time and especially in winter when I use my electric heater. What I do is shut off the power (at the breaker box) to my electric water heater. I turn it on a few minutes before I'm going to wash dishes or take a bath. I also keep all the lights off except in the room I am working in. I am single so I am able to do this without an argument from anyone.
Psych reports/anxiety
This might help;  When nurses attend college, one of the first thngs they are told is "do not identify with patients' symptoms"!  It might be worthwhile talking to your supe, taking him/her into your confidence but the results may be as you anticipated.  Psych can be upsetting, especially if you are compassionate.  If no help from supe, the Valerian is a good idea, or a cup of soothing tea and trying not to relate - if you can, "block."
So much anxiety that I haven't even turned heat on
Left out depression, anxiety, becoming a hermit...
Certain antidepressants/anti-anxiety meds also attribute to being antagonistic.
I agree.. I would be working from home even if I didn't have anxiety attacks!
Thanks for sharing!
social recluse
Why would anyone become an MT if they needed a lot of socializing? One of the main reasons I became an MT is lack of need for interaction with others.
I was a social recluse before this job.
...which I guess is why I have adapted so well to it.  I could never handle gossip or having to walk around pretending to be a happy "team member" in an office setting.  I watch "The Office" as a reminder as to how pukey that whole workin' in an office situation really is...but it is extremely funny when you aren't a part of that atmosphere anymore though.  I once worked with a female version of Dwight and it was so not funny.  Dwight=funny.
Social graces?
Been there done that. I have a Jewish doctor who mumbles and has a very strong New York accent - - and he has no social graces whatsoever - - burps, sneezes, coughs, sucks snot, eats with his mouth full -- YUK!!! The worst part is you have to listen again because you couldn't understand what he said the first or second time.
As an IC MT do you pay into Social Security? SM

I am an IC MT in California.  Does anyone know if we can pay into SS so that we get compensated for retirement?  As of yet, I have not but would like to in the future, if it is possible.   


Social Security
If I understand it right, assuming you are paying your federal taxes, you are paying Social Security.  It's something like 15.3% of your reported income, half of which you get to deduct if your income is under $102,000.  Gee, think I just barely fall under that tax bracket!  Google "self-employed social security" or something along those lines for a full explanation. 
I need the social interaction too -
I have been applying for jobs in town everywhere, not necessarily in the medical field, but I am also spoiled - I get to thinking about it and wonder whether I really want to work 20 hours a week for 6 dollars when I could make that in 3 hours at home...

So, I decided I was going to go back to college part time and get a degree in something that would pay me what I make in transcription and give me the option of getting out of my house and meeting people and becoming human again.

I loved my job for a long time, but lately it is taking a toll on my health and emotional welfare. I have a degenerative joint problem in which the doctor told me I would be better off as the door greeter at Walmart than sitting in this darn chair all the time... I am becoming withdrawn from the world, I have gained lots of weight, and just feel down and depressed all the time.

It's time for me to "get a life" before I get too old and have these same problems with age discrimination.
I don't have much of a social life myself, but working on it
But being in my mid 30s I don't know if i'm going to click with anyone.  I just know I cannot do the online dating anymore!  Its so disppointing meeting the person after they've built themselves up AND have used the best picture ever taken of them in their entire lives on their profile.  Some people swear theyve had good luck, its about 50/50.  Its just not for me, very awkward and weird.  Thats why a reality TV show on it will be fabulous!  I'm just hoping its on tonight, supposedly ABC or something. 
There is a balance though, people who are too social
People who tend to spend a lot of time alone seem to be a little sad.  Just mix it up a little and find your balance.  For me, if i'm around people too much, I feel absolutely drained, but if i'm totally isolated, I feel trapped and sad.  So I socialize a couple times a week by taking classes, seeing family members, talking to neighbors, meeting up with a friend, and thats enough.  Just not everyday, maybe not even every two days!
They are. Many of them get social security checks for
mental illness or other issues. Some of them spend their social security checks the day they get them on booze and gambling. Some people CHOOSE to be homeless, if you can believe that. There are programs out there for them if they apply. I got to know the homeless population of our city pretty well at one of my former job. I could tell you some stories about some of those characters. One guy is homeless, but he could have his house and bank account, his military retirement, and his social security. Instead, he pushes a cart around town and sleeps on park benches. One woman runs down the street in nothing but polyester pants pulled up to her armpits in the bitter cold of winter. She has shoes and a coat, plus welfare and social security benefits.
As far as the social situation is concerned, get

him in cub scouts, community sports, etc.  This is really not an educational issue IMO and not the responsibility of the school system. 

The school system in most cases will try to do as little as possible for your child, but if you have a diagnosis, you can write an IEP and they have a legal obligation to follow it, whether they like it or not.   They also have to provide testing, like it or not, but we always had ours done on our own as I didn't feel like I would get an honest evaluation from the school system. 

the self-employment tax IS the 1/2 of your social security...
"On top of the self-employment tax, etc., you don't get the benefit of your company paying 1/2 of your social security so that is where most of your money at tax time goes to. "  please don't post if you don't know what you're talking about.
Social Security will take it from your Schedule C

Social Security will take your earnings from your Schedule C that goes onto your 1040.  Whatever amount you declare and pay your self employment taxes on (15.75%) is the amount that they will use for your yearly earnings. 



My kids are far from being a social recluse...
I have some of the most social kids in the neighborhood.  Every day they are playing with other kids, and they are in karate as well.  My daughter has Tourette's syndrome and she said people at school were making fun of her tics.  I choose to protect her from those kids, but she is not at all socially isolated, only isolated from the kids who ridicule her...
If you are a social recluse, it won't make
you come out of your shell, but if your life has good balance, it should not hamper your social abilities at all. I definitely am a people person and have worked at home since early 90s.
How to get in touch with social security?
Went by the office this morning, unbelievable, just wanted to set up an appt but too many waiting. I tried to find the web site but had no luck therel. I have heard you can set up an appt that way, just need to know where to look. TIA.
Can somewhat please guide me as to how to pay Social Security, SM

federal and state taxes as an IC? I am new to this and dont know the first thing about it. How do I get vouchers for the taxes and how do I pay the SS...thank you!

yeh, we have to have a tight grip on our social graces

We'll start walking around wanting to backhand everyone who looks at us sideways. 

My DD is a social worker and says that she dictates directly into VR
and the report is on her desk when she gets back to the office. She said everyone in her department loves it!
Kate's obviously been out of social circulation too long
and passes her solitary days by picking fights on message boards.

Time to find a job outside the home, Kate.
Aren't politics and religion social no-nos? sm
And I believe there is a very good reason for that.
For IC MTs, when you pay your quarterly taxes that you calculate do you also add in the 15% social s
First time doing this.
Do you find that this job makes you a social recluse?
I never get out socially with anyone.  It's just my husband and three kids.  People used to call, but since I both work full time transcription and home school, I never had time to do anything and people just quit calling.  Yesterday evening a neighbor had a party and invited women from the neighborhood, but not me.  That hurt my feelings, and made me see just how isolated I am from the world.  I am also pretty shy by nature, but being home all day and never getting out doesn't help.  Do any of you feel isolated with this job?  Does it bother you??
Do you pay quarterly taxes? Can you pay Social Security (sm)

I have always just filed at the end of the year.  Does everyone else (IC) file quarterly?

Also, if I want to pay into my social secirty on my own, can anyone tell me how to do that?



Paying Social Security is not optional.