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toxic friends/relatives--ADMINISTRATOR PLEASE EXPLAIN

Posted By: why you erase something before you so boldly/rudel on 2005-08-17
In Reply to:

Mine is my mother.  She is an extremely angry woman, and I honestly think, her seeing me happy, makes her dislike me even more.  When I go to visit, which is not often anymore, she sarcastically says "yay look whos here" and does not have anything nice to say to me.  She is usually drunk or on drugs so she falls asleep when I try to talk to her, and she criticizes my every decision and points out the things about myself that I hate.  One thing, is that i'm not good with people, and she has to remind me of this on a daily basis, like when I tell her i'm going to start school or take classes she will say "but youre not good with people, I bet youre nervous" or snide remarks to that effect.  She criticizes how I look, how I do my hair, what I wear, just about everything.  When I leave there, for the next couple of days, I feel very angry, my self esteem feels as low as it did when I was a kid, and i'm just sick.  I know she is my "mother" but its affecting me so much that I think I would have a better life if I distanced myself and not let her be so involved where it would affect me.  Wondering if anyone had to make this painful decision with someone close to them.  I'm changing and she is stuck in this bitter hate the world phase, where she has always been. 


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has anyone had to cut out a toxic relative or best
Mine is my mother.  She is an extremely angry woman, and I honestly think, her seeing me happy, makes her dislike me even more.  When I go to visit, which is not often anymore, she sarcastically says "yay look whos here" and does not have anything nice to say to me.  She is usually drunk or on drugs so she falls asleep when I try to talk to her, and she criticizes my every decision and points out the things about myself that I hate.  One thing, is that i'm not good with people, and she has to remind me of this on a daily basis, like when I tell her i'm going to start school or take classes she will say "but youre not good with people, I bet youre nervous" or snide remarks to that effect.  She criticizes how I look, how I do my hair, what I wear, just about everything.  When I leave there, for the next couple of days, I feel very angry, my self esteem feels as low as it did when I was a kid, and i'm just sick.  I know she is my "mother" but its affecting me so much that I think I would have a better life if I distanced myself and not let her be so involved where it would affect me.  Wondering if anyone had to make this painful decision with someone close to them.  I'm changing and she is stuck in this bitter hate the world phase, where she has always been. 
Toxic mother
I had to distance myself from my mother too. Don't feel bad. Think of it as doing something nice for yourself.

Now that I have grown daughters I have a problem I don't know how to solve. I don't want to be negative or judgmental towards my children, but they dress in sloppy, slutty clothes and I overhead some people joking about them because of it. I want to tell them to be more presentable but I don't want it to sound like I'm criticizing them or rejecting them. What do I do?
Also, be careful that little girl/parents don't throw something toxic in your yard sm
for the puppy too eat.  Sad, but a lot of sickos out there.
Look! I have relatives in CA who come to USA
NM
My New York relatives used to rag on me:

and say when I visited, "She's from Massatoothetts where they thay 'Pahk the cah in Havaad Yaad.' "   (Note: My relatives have no teeth, hence the lisp.)


Cue the banjo's.


I think relatives are the worst ones sometimes--sm
I had to really spell it out for my mom a year or so back, to stop calling me three times a day and telling me to *take a break* because she did not like to see me work so hard. I really hated to hurt her feelings, but that was the only way to get the point across. I HAVE to work hard, to get money to live on...no one else is going to do it for me. So, I totally know what you mean!. Sorry mom, but you just didn't understand...
I have relatives in Port St. Lucie and....sm

they used to live in Miami, but lost everything to Hurricaine Andrew.   Now that they're in Port St. Lucie they have learned from the "Andrew" mistakes and for Wilma made sure they had plenty of food, water and gas for the generator that they bought.  They knew they should have gone to a shelter but during Andrew the official shelter they were in had its roof blown off and they sat there wet and cold for hours until the storm blew over and decided to not do that route again.  They knew with Wilma that they risked having their home destroyed while in it but made that choice. 


 They did sustain damage to the house with Wilma but aren't waiting and insisting that the government bail them out.  They had already talked to a contractor before the storm and had him lined up and ready to come out after the storm was over so they didn't have to wait on long waiting lists.  These aren't rich people - my aunt is a retired school teacher and my uncle has been disabled for many years.   They're just smart enough to realize that if you live in an area that is prone to severe storms that you have to be prepared or not whine and expect the government to bail you out. 


The people in Louisiana knew days ahead of time that they should get out of town and they didn't.  It didn't help that the Mayor there basically blew the situation off until after the fact and  then decided the federal goverment should have done what he should have done in the beginning - made arrangements for people to get the heck away from there if they didn't have travel means. Instead he transported people to shelters that were right in the midst of the storm and then cried to the world that the government purposefully caused people to die.  Gimme a break.  IF anyone is guilty of that it's him because he didn't take the appropriate actions which were even outlined in the  New Orleans  City official disaster plan. 


Living in Georgia  and in a "tornado alley" part of the state I know my odds are that my house could get demolished by a twister.  When a severe storm arises I high-tail it to the basement.  Since we also get remnants of hurricaines at times, ice storms, etc. I always have enough food and water to last for several days in the basement, along with plenty of candles and batteries.  I also have lots of  logs for the fire place to cover winter storms. 


You don't have to be rich to prepare for a disaster.... just smart about it and plan ahead of time.  If you live in a  coastal state then buy that hurricaine insurance and don't whimper that we need to buy you a new house if you don't have insurance and your home gets destroyed.  I have homeowner's insurance but if my house were to burn down and I didn't have insurance would it be the government's responsibility to build me a new one?  No.


 


 


I definitely think its best to avoid relatives this year.
I'll join you for a toast on Thanksgiving?  The idea of being alone during the holidays still sucks, but its a change from the strain of being with relatives, and a first.  Might be kinda nice I guess.
With an air card your relatives don't need a router.

An air card pulls the signal from the air similar to a cell signal.  It is a type of internet the same as cable or DSL.  What you are needing is WiFi capability, to connect to an existing network.   If they don't already had a network setup maybe they have high-speed internet and you can just hook your computer to the modem, at least long enough to download. 


If relatives only have one computer they wouldn't need a router unless their computer was a laptop and they wanted to work in other rooms of the house. 


Friends, really miss Friends :-(
Joey just isn't the same for me
Well, I think you hubby should have told them no in the first place and the relatives (m)
should have had enough respect to understand and NOT come.  Or they could have offered to come for the weekend and take over your duties (cleaning, cooking, watching kids, etc.) so you could go off by yourself and study.  I'm sorry you didn't pass and by one point, is really a rip.  Cheer up! :-)
When I go back East to visit relatives
I am shocked that some things are a lot cheaper and briefly consider a move, but I adore the weather here.  I also don't get why they send all the good veggies/fruits back there and we get left with the icky ones (unless you go to a farmer's market - which is what I try to do).  Maybe the good ones survive the trip better and they figure we can deal with the shopworn ones locally.
In Canada, my relatives waited months for an
nm
I don't know how you can take off for weeks at a time with all your close relatives and go to Aruba
and not be wealthy.  Could you?  Indefinitely?  You and your husband?  And her husband said they may buy a house there if necessary because the mother is not going home w/o Natalee.  So assuming that resort island property is not cheap, they can afford to buy a house in Aruba?   Can you?
I beg your pardon. I have elderly relatives in nursing homes who are constantly in and out of
hospitals.  The elderly especially need our reports to be ACCURATE, as nobody gives a hoot to "talk" about them, let alone doctors getting to actually know and remember patients. EVERYTHING about their acute care in hospitals is taken FROM THE PAPER MEDICAL RECORD, and also when they get bumped back to the nursing home.  The caretakers take ALL info from the transfer sheet.  Reality check for those who need help most - elderly who cannot rattle off their histories themselves.
ADMINISTRATOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

to administrator
??
Administrator

I did leave, thus the name Ex-MQ'r.  I appreciate your remarks and I agree with some of them.  My problem was with the adminstrator's tone and overall unprofessional remarks to people who are hurting.  "Sick of this crap" does not create a lot of respect.  I am no longer employed by MQ.  I was tired of being mistreated and tired of feeling abused etc., but I can still sympathize with those who are not able to walk away from a company until they have another job to go to and the need to vent.  How is skipping over their remarks any more irritating than having to skip over remarks about a person's favorite country western singer, favorite food, or whatever.  I made a decision today just like I did when I left MQ--I wish everyone well but I won't be visiting this board anymore.  People are too mean spirited and eager to hush everyone up.  When the administrator becomes part of the pack, it's just too much.  Good luck to all.


Administrator, is there any way
that your web person could program this site so that when a message link comes up in "last message posted" that is posted on the MQ board that it could be marked MQ so we non-mq'rs can ignore it.

Even though there is now an MQ board, I still end up on the MQ board dozens of times a day because I'm clicking on new posts shown as 'last message posted'. I don't have any interest whatsoever in being on that board or seeing any MQ related posts.

I certainly hope that you'll be able to do this. The same goes for 'most recent messages', please find a way to mark them as MQ.

Thanks for your help.
Thank you administrator
To my seety Jay:

Everytime that I see that these posts about you have been pushed over to the next page because of new posts, I'M GONNA POST IT AGAIN UNTIL I'M PAID WHAT YOU OWE ME!!!
To administrator:
What has happened to the menu on the left side of the screen for the other forums? thanks!
I am an administrator at TOB --
And apparently you don't know what we talk about. We are MT's. It is a special place because the posters there are safe from negative attacks by nasty people who have no clue what they are talking about. Heavy medications?? WTH? Nobody I know on TOB is on HEAVY meds though some of us are on meds for different ailments.

As for becoming a member, it is by invitation only from other members and approval by the administrators. If you are interested, go to SPOT and leave me a message. I will reply!
Thank you, Administrator!
That sure was fast - and it is VERY appreciated.  Keep doing the great job you have been doing.  You are providing a great service to all of us out here in cyberspace.  Thank you for all you do!
YOU (Administrator) are able to
I know because I received an email from you regarding a message that I sent to a company this way.  Everyone is trying to ask you if YOU are able to see the messages.
I have never had an administrator from this
I just wanted to add that because I am not sure an actual administrator from this board would say "stay off this site".  It is just not the norm, at least, what little I have dealt with the administrators or moderators of this board.   
I need an administrator please

Could someone please e-mail me?  I do not seem to be able to sign into/log on the Chat room. I do not know what I am doing wrong.


 


 


A little help from my *friends*
I have been doing this for 36 years and I have used word expanders and normals for more than 20 years.  It sure helps when you are typing *the patient* practically every paragraph.  I just type tpt and viola...same with the headings, Review of Systems, etc.  Every little bit helps.  To those who dont use expanders and normals, just think how much more money you could be making and how less tired and sore you would be at the end of the day.  *Long live the expanders*.
friends
My daughter is 20 and I still can't stand her friends...........
friends.
Excellent post. Your kids are lucky to have parents like you and your husband.

One of my friends did that...
for the exact same reason.  However, their first ceremony was private, and they did not expect anyone to give them gifts for both weddings.  But in your case, I would think a gift for the first wedding would be more helpful to them since they may not have all the things they need for their home together.  I certainly would not feel the need to buy for both ceremonies.
have many friends? lol
lololol
Looking for old friends

I have been trying to locate some people form my old High School - Figured with all of you out there someone might know someone and pass this on. I went to Garrett Hign School during 1977 thru 1981.


Sonia Suppan Bugher and Carissa Babson Snyder


Lost track of them many years ago, and there are so many people looking for them now - we were all concerned when they disappeared. Last I heard Carissa was in NC and Sonia in Oklahoma. Tried classmates.com and theya r elisted as "missing" LOL. Who knows maybe they are MT's too.


You are in need of some friends.
Q
I have friends here in ND who say it too.
And, I grew up with an English teacher for my mother, so I know what you mean. Always corrected but now I have a great grasp of the English language.
Administrator, great job!!

Gotta love this site...TY


Administrator by proxy, are we??
nm
Administrator, how do I email you. I need to ask you something.
:
I had the Administrator look at it yesterday. (SM)
Yes, it appears someone is posting boatloads of recipes.

The ForumMatrix is open to anyone.


Moderator/Administrator (sm)
I've been trying for weeks to get into chat.  No matter what name/password I use, it won't let me in.  I tried to reregister and it consistently tells me I'm not using at least six letters in my password even though the ones I've tried are 6 and 9, and then today it finally admitted I already had an account but when I clicked the lost password part it sent me to Error 404.  I'm about to give up.  Am I not holding my mouth right or something??? Hope you can help and get me into chat again. 
The Administrator can answer that. (SM)
You can e-mail her at admin@mtstars.com.

Thank you,

Goldbird
Is the Administrator on Vacation??
It used to be that any post mentioning MQ was deleted, because all MQ related issues are to be discussed on the MQ board, thus, a seperate MQ board.

In addition, one of the moderators says it's ok to post and post and post about pets, when there is a Pet board under the 'General' boards tab.
If you THINK the administrator was being rude..

methinks you ALL need to thicken up your skin.........


And no, I'm not the administrator!! 


Good luck with the contests!! 


oops should have been a ? there after administrator

Administrator please read...
I can answer questions on the Word board but can't post a question.  When I try to email you from the "error message," the emails aren't going through.  ???
My apologies to administrator. I did not
intend for my response to turn this thread into a religious debate. Will try to be more careful in the future.
to Administrator - see message
The post on word board that is titled "I need some help" :( should be on the main board. She posted on the word board by mistake. I think she would get more responses if you moved her post. Thanks.
E-mail the administrator maybe and ask. nm
x
Dear Administrator,
I'm wondering when all the posts where 'Shroom is calling everyone who disagrees with her a b**ch and bee-otch will be removed. She's really quite obnoxious. Thank you.
Thank you, Administrator and Moderator !!!

And hopefully he has now been blocked.  You guys owning and running MTStars are THE_ABSOLUTE_BEST !!!!


       


 


Please email administrator at:

admin@mtstars.net or sheristeadman@gmail.com 


 


THIS IS REAL!!!!  I am just a girl from WA, and this is real!  E-mail the administrator yourself!


Attention Administrator

When everything hit the boards a few days back, you (well, whoever is running the board these days) stated that if anyone had a problem and wanted to leave this board, send a message and write "unsubscribe" in the message line.


I did that and just did a test post to see if you unscribed my email address.


You haven't.


I think everyone here is watching your actions and I expect you to unscribe me. I am posting this in public as you failed to respond to a private email.