Reminds me of the last joke
Posted By: Mythbuster on 2009-03-31
In Reply to: Politics aside, I know exactly where... - Marmann
our dad ever played on us, and it was at his own funeral many years ago. The guy was a hoot. Mom had died the year before, so my sister (same Norm Crosby sister) remembered exactly where in the cemetery the double-wide grave was.
Dad’s procession wound through the grounds – he had a lot of friends, so it was a long parade. The hearse stopped at the newly prepped grave with the canopy over it. Our limo pulled up behind it. My sister said, ‘This is the wrong place.’ Her husband said, ‘Nah, this looks like it.’ I had no recollection. The pallbearers opened the hearse and started hauling the casket out and my sister made her husband go up and tell them to stop. This was ALL WRONG. So, they shoved the casket back in, and closed the doors. Now you see it. Now you don’t.
All the people behind us started to get our of their cars, and mill around. My sister went up there and now I could see a lot of gesturing and pointing. She’s pointing way that-a-way and the cemetery crew are shaking their heads and pointing this-a-way. So there was an intermission while somebody went to the office for a map.
Now we have the map spread out on the hood of the hearse. Nobody else in the crowd really knows what’s going on, and sure enough, wrong grave. Dad almost got himself interred for eternity next to some other woman. You’d have to know my dad (and my mom) to get the joke.
We agreed to have the graveside service there, but then he had to be moved to where the backhoe would shortly be hastily digging the grave in the proper location.
On the ride back in the funeral home limo we were giggling uncontrollably. Her husband thought it was in very poor taste. The limo driver kept remarking on what good sports we were. Truly, dad almost got away with it. You just hadda be there!
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Reminds me of the very last joke
our dad ever played on us, and it was at his own funeral many years ago. The guy was a hoot. Mom had died the year before, so my sister (same Norm Crosby sister) remembered exactly where in the cemetery the double-wide grave was.
Dad’s procession wound through the grounds – he had a lot of friends, so it was a long parade. The hearse stopped at the newly prepped grave with the canopy over it. Our limo pulled up behind it. My sister said, ‘This is the wrong place.’ Her husband said, ‘Nah, this looks like it.’ I had no recollection. The pallbearers opened the hearse and started hauling the casket out and my sister made her husband go up and tell them to stop. This was ALL WRONG. So, they shoved the casket back in, and closed the doors. Now you see it. Now you don’t.
All the people behind us started to get our of their cars, and mill around. My sister went up there and now I could see a lot of gesturing and pointing. She’s pointing way that-a-way and the cemetery crew are shaking their heads and pointing this-a-way. So there was an intermission while somebody went to the office for a map.
Now we have the map spread out on the hood of the hearse. Nobody else in the crowd really knows what’s going on, and sure enough, wrong grave. Dad almost got himself interred for eternity next to some other woman. You’d have to know my dad (and my mom) to get the joke.
We agreed to have the graveside service there, but then he had to be moved to where the backhoe would shortly be hastily digging the grave in the proper location.
On the ride back in the funeral home limo we were giggling uncontrollably. Her husband thought it was in very poor taste. The limo driver kept remarking on what good sports we were. Truly, dad almost got away with it. You just hadda be there!
This reminds me of my
who has been married and divorced 4 times who mouths off about gays and *the sanctity of marriage*. LOL Cracks me up every time. Now that's real common sense and logic.
So by this standard, my marriage isn't a *real marriage* because my husband (of 23 years)and I chose not to have children. Good grief!
that reminds me
John Mc said he knew exactly how to find Bin Laden. Shame he refuses to share his knowledge with the military leaders.
LOL! Reminds me of...
something that occurred about 25 years. I was working in a law office, and one of the newer attorneys was reading a medical report that contained the word "cephalgia." He almost started jumping up and down, really excited because (I think) it was such a "big word."
He asked if anyone had any medical background. I said I had a little bit, and he asked me what cephalgia meant.
I said, "Well, let's see: "Algia" means pain. "Ceph" means pain, so pain in the head -- HEADACHE!"
I was relating this to a court reporter friend of mine who then asked me what I would call an analgesic.
I said, "Well, using my "formula," I guess it means "pain in the butt"! 
That reminds me of the 2.....(sm)
girls in N. Korea. I don't remember his name right off, but one guy that went there and talked to some N. Korean officials on their behalf was asking about the girls' welfare. The response from the N. Koreans was "we aren't Gitmo."
Reminds me of a story. s/m
Wealthy (Republican no doubt) race horse breeder sent his prize horse to England with his trainer for an important race. Being frugal (or a tightwad) breeder told trainer to send him a telegram and let him know how the horse did in the race but to keep it brief to save money. By and by the breeder received a telegram which said "SFSFF." Upon his return home the breeder gleafully met the trainer and demanded to know how much money he had won. The trainer reported that he had won nothing. The breeder said, "but I got your telegram, SFSFF, started first, slowed, finished first." " No, no, no said the trainer, SFSFF, started first,  stumbled, farted, fell."
no pie for you...just denial...that reminds me of...
x
This conversation reminds me of...(sm)
an event that took place during the Iraq war (not sure of the date, but I'm sure some of you will remember it). There was an Iraqi child who was (as well as many others) caugt in a bombing raid. It was all over the news about how the US military had given him provisional care and transported him from place to place, trying to get him to a place where he could be treated appropriately. Unfortunately (like many other Iraqi civilians) he eventually died. This in itself was not that remarkable, especially considering at the time the US was lobbing bombs into Iraq with the precision of a pumpkin-chunkin contest. What was remarkable, however, was when the doctor who was caring for the child came out and told the news of his death to the world. There were several questions entertained by the doctor from reporters, but the one that really struck home for me was one from a US reporter. The question was, do you think the boy understood what we are trying to do here? The boy that died was all of about 4 or 5 years old.
Not long after, the US decided to not show casualties in the news. The government unfortunately was right in assuming the out of sight, out of mind thing would work. It's amazing just how naive Americans can be.
This is a perfect example of what you would call American pride, honor, etc. Nevermind the people who die, just make sure we look good doing it. Again, I am not negating the value of the American soldiers here, they are simply doing what they've been told to do.
When you talk about soldiers helping the Iraqi people, exactly how are they helping them? Are they bringing them food and medicine because we have destroyed their infrastructure? Are they helping them find a place to stay because their house played catch with a US missle? Or are we just taking care of their kids because we took mommy and daddy to a torture camp? Believe me, we are doing much more harm than help. Have you noticed that Iraqi civilian casualties far outnumber the casualties of American soldiers? Where's the help for that?
And yes, I did have someone serving in Iraq.
This conversation reminds me of...(sm)
an event that took place during the Iraq war (not sure of the date, but I'm sure some of you will remember it). There was an Iraqi child who was (as well as many others) caugt in a bombing raid. It was all over the news about how the US military had given him provisional care and transported him from place to place, trying to get him to a place where he could be treated appropriately. Unfortunately (like many other Iraqi civilians) he eventually died. This in itself was not that remarkable, especially considering at the time the US was lobbing bombs into Iraq with the precision of a pumpkin-chunkin contest. What was remarkable, however, was when the doctor who was caring for the child came out and told the news of his death to the world. There were several questions entertained by the doctor from reporters, but the one that really struck home for me was one from a US reporter. The question was, do you think the boy understood what we are trying to do here? The boy that died was all of about 4 or 5 years old.
Not long after, the US decided to not show casualties in the news. The story above may have contributed to this, but the basic idea was that Americans didn't like to see Americans dead. The government unfortunately was right in assuming the out of sight, out of mind thing would work. It's amazing just how naive Americans can be.
This is a perfect example of what you would call American pride, honor, etc. Nevermind the people who die, just make sure we look good doing it. Again, I am not negating the value of the American soldiers: they are simply doing what they've been told to do.
When you talk about soldiers helping the Iraqi people, exactly how are they helping them? Are they bringing them food and medicine because we have destroyed their infrastructure? Are they helping them find a place to stay because their house played catch with a US missle? Or are we just taking care of their kids because we took mommy and daddy to a torture camp? Believe me, we are doing much more harm than help. Have you noticed that Iraqi civilian casualties far outnumber the casualties of American soldiers? Where's the help for that?
And yes, I did have someone serving in Iraq.
This reminds me of the time
I asked a muslim man why, if there is a god, are there 100s if not 1000s of children being raped and murdered mercilessly as we speak and he said to me: "Because in a prior life, the children were bad people and they deserve this punishment."
No God would let a child suffer so. This is a godless world and you are on a piece of cosmic debris which happens to have every element necessary to support life.
Thoughts go to the Jehovahs Witnesses and the 7th Day crowd who do not vote nor care about the planet nor the people on it because they are convinced the next world is more important than this one.
Weak
Kind of reminds me............ sm
of the polls taken during the election when people who voted for Obama were asked questions about him and either could not answer them correctly or agreed with statements that were "dressed up" to appear to be related to Obama but were, in fact, about McCain/Palin.
I stand by my original thoughts....folks, for the most part, had no idea about who they were voting for. Either that, or they were just being really polite to the pollster! LOL
post reminds me of *Not Without My Daiughter*
xxx
Your comment reminds me of that famous
Everyone is allowed their opinions. Stop knocking other people down because you don't agree with them.
This discussion kind of reminds me of the ...sm
election of 1960, Nixon/Kennedy. Everyone was saying Nixon is a God. He has the most experience. No way John Kennedy is qualified to be president. Then came the first debate, and the rest is history. No teleprompter needed for either JFK or Obama. Their vision for America was/is enough to light the world.
Reminds me of that song be happy
Although reading your post I do have to say I think you've been hitting on the ju-ju juice a little too much. HA HA HA
We are not ALL "proud" of Obama. Proud that he's legally hiding his birth certificate. Proud that he had his school records legally sealed so nobody can see that he may have possibly gotten aid as a foreign student. Proud that he stole the election from Clinton. Not everyone in the world admires him (there are plenty of countries who believe we were duped and bought into the "rapture" of electing a black man that we didn't want to investigate him and who he is and how he got as far as he has and who is behind him, and why in the world anyone would vote for someone that doesn't have any experience. There are many countries now questioning his ability to lead by the people he is surrounding himself with. And as our own newly elect VP Joe Biden said "Mark my words, it will not be six months before the world tests Barack Obama like they did John Kennedy".
As for him demonstrating
"purity of the heart". I have not seen anything to demonstrate that yet. I do know that Farrakhan seems to think he's the messiah, so maybe that it where people are getting that mixed up. Doen't make it true, however.
I'm glad your happy and I'm not taking that away. But soon I think once the effects of the kool-aid wears off you might see things a bit more clearly.
Not all of us feel joy and pride. We feel fear, uncertaintly, hopelessness, loss, despair, nervousness, doubt, worry, anxiety, and trepidation (and please don't tell me I should take medication for that). These are all real issues that we are facing. We are losing our homes, jobs, savings, retirements and everything we worked for and here comes the O saying "I feel your pain. I'm going to make it all better for you" and people buy into it without question. "How are you going to do that we say, what will you do for us right now so we don't get kicked out of our houses". "Well I'm going to tax all those nasty rich people that don't need it and give it all to you" "Yeah, hooray, Obama is my savior. I will never have to work or worry anymore how to pay for things I want."
So, go ahead and be happy. I have to live in reality.
P.S. - It's not the age of aquarium (unless I want some fish). It's the Age of Aquarius which deals with astrology. So maybe the O is from another planet. HA HA.
This so reminds me of one of those baby books
people put together for their first kid. Video of the delivery. Baby's handprint and footprint. Lock of hair from Baby's first haircut. Picture of Baby taking his first step. First tooth Baby loses, and on and on and on.....
What's the followup plan for the 200th day and the 300th? I'd like to pencil this on my calendar.
I agree with ms. I enjoy it too. Sam reminds me of my husband. sm
And that is a good thing. LOL. My husband can debate until the cows come home whether it is Obama, McCain, Pelosi, etc. He lays everything out point by point and he isn't nasty about it the way some of the other posters on this board are. And he doesn't have to resort to name calling or whining.
So I say to Sam...You go girl!!.
she reminds me of Rose from the Golden Girls
back in Alaska....
This reminds me of Bill O's cry foul, declaration of war
proclamations that the ratings "MUST" be fixed after his show took third place behind MSNBC (x2 with KO and RM) and CNN (Anderson Cooper). Early on, McC camp started screaming bloody murder and boycotting the media when it began to become apparent that SP could not handle one-on-ones very well. Don't know what a camp sould expect when they declare their own wars on the media. Talk about whiners.
Your description reminds me of our current lousy
nm
I meant to add it reminds me of what I read about Napolean and M. Antionette
Party hearty dudes.
You are such a joke, gt. sm
You think there is only one patriot here? Get a trip on your sour shrivled heart and try not to speak.
what a joke
You truly are a JOKE, LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL..a joke. I live in reality and deal with reality..you, however, through YOUR posts have proven you are nothing but a joke.bye bye neocon..
LOL..JOKE!
Joke
MUJIBAR
Mujibar was trying to get a job in India.
The Personnel Manager said, Mujibar, you have passed all the tests,
Except one. Unless you pass it you cannot qualify for this job.
Mujibar said, I am ready.
The manager said, Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green.
Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, Mister manager, I am ready.
The manager said, Go ahead.
Mujibar said, The telephone goes green, green, green, and I pink it up, and say, 'Yellow, this is Mujibar.'
Mujibar now works as a technician at a call center for computer problems.
No doubt you have spoken to him.
Actually the joke is on us all...sm
First, yes there are terrorist. They attacked us on 9-11. The joke started with the trumped up war against Iraq. That mind you went from a war because of WMD, then a war to rid the world of a brutal dictator, then Operation Iraqi freedom, and now finally operation quagmire.
Ask yourself a couple questions ever so often and see if you still can laugh. *Did Al Quaeda reside in Iraq BEFORE the war????* Or even *Was Iraq a hot bed for terrorist BEFORE the war????*
The issue of the port protection is a different story. I think it would be in America's best interest to develop a US based security company or team. We should not be depending on *outsourced* protection. That's downright sloppy to me. I wouldn't care what country it was.
Is that a joke?
Because it sounds like the answer to the war on terror to me. 
Okay, now for a joke.
Rush *Limp*baugh blames liberals because Americans are fat. Huh?....talk about intellectually confused. http://mediamatters.org/items/20060829013
joke joke joke
Obama is chocolate, biden is vanilla. It never works when you have to explain your jokes. Mea culpa.
Oh come on - it's a joke! Do you truly believe everything
???
some joke-
NOT. What an awful thing to say, that that death would be a joke to anyone. Rights - what about responsibilities, like the responsibility to use some form of contraception other than abortion? I know you will come back with the rape, incest, endangered health of mother, and those are valid. But reality is that a large percentage of abortions are not performed for those reasons but for the "convenience" of the mother. And being that irresponsible is not a "right."
Because she's a joke.
What a joke........
May I suggest you go to their country and see how peaceful they live with you? So many try to defend something they haven't bother to study.
The holiest book of Islam draws the sharpest of distinctions between Muslims and non-Muslims, lavishing praise on the former while condemning the latter. Far from teaching universal love, the Qur'an incessantly preaches the inferiority of non-Muslims, even comparing them to vile animals and gloating over Allah's hatred of them and his dark plans for their eternal torture. Naturally, the harsh treatment of non-believers by Muslims is encouraged as well.
Does that sound like a loving tolerant people to you?
This has got to be a JOKE!!!
Of all the nerve!! I think this person needs to be banned from this site, as obviously this person is not in the MT field and just spreading a bunch of garbage to rile people up.
No, you did not mean it as a joke.
What's your problem. Is the pressure getting to you? Then stay off this board.
It's hot in here.
can't even take a joke
x
I have seen this joke before...
All you have to do is replace Obama with Bush and you have the same joke.
Just a joke...(sm)
From an episode of Seinfeld.....I need one at my house too...LOL
Also see: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQFLqMyo0fo
Festivus is an annual holiday created by writer Dan O'Keefe and introduced into popular culture by his son Daniel, a scriptwriter for the TV show Seinfeld.[1][2] Although the original Festivus took place in February 1966 as a celebration of O'Keefe's first date with his wife, Deborah,[2] many people now celebrate the holiday on December 23, as depicted on the December 18, 1997 Seinfeld episode "The Strike".[1][3] According to O'Keefe, the name Festivus "just popped into his head."[2] The holiday includes novel practices such as the "Airing of Grievances", in which each person tells everyone else all the ways they have disappointed him or her over the past year. Also, after the Festivus meal, the "Feats of Strength" are performed, involving wrestling the head of the household to the floor, with the holiday only ending if the head of the household is actually pinned. These conventions originated with the TV episode. The original holiday featured far more peculiar practices, as detailed in the younger Daniel O'Keefe's book The Real Festivus, which provides a first-person account of an early version of the Festivus holiday as celebrated by the O'Keefe family, and how O'Keefe amended or replaced details of his father's invention to create the Seinfeld episode.[4]
It was a JOKE... nm
Read the full story rather than taking and posting remarks out of context to further your own agenda.
What a joke!
Your post doesn't even deserve a response.
No joke!
End of the year garden veggie soup - nothing better! We ate a lot of soup growing up, too, but I think that's why I hate chili so much now! =)
What a joke, huh?
!!
I do believe this must be a joke
First, we know you don't like Fox because you prefer to live in a box and be told how to think, told how to vote, and told how to bash. That's what I hear on their station (I just watched it yesterday). They were telling people how they should be thinking.
Fox gives us both sides. You evidently don't know what that means. That means they present a conservative viewpoint and a liberal viewpoint. I always see liberal guests on the show and they are treated fairly. They let them speak and give their viewpoint, and that's it. The host of the show always says something like "We'd like to thank you for coming on our show to share your viewpoint. Now the audience at home can decide. Once again, nice to have you come on the show, we hope to have you back again". What is not fair about that?????? You go to MSNBC and CNN and if the guest is not liberal (which is rare) you've got Chris Matthews, Keith Olberman, and Rachel Maddow (and some of the other reporters there) treating them like they are a piece of dirt, sitting and interrupting and not letting them speak, and they are badgered by their elitist attitude. That's why I (and millions of other viewers turned them off). We want the truth and want to decide for ourselves.
I saw the episode of Glenn Beck pouring water on that guy (forget his name but he's on the show Red Eye (an excellent show!). That was not imitating Obama, it was imitating government. That's the message I got. Obama doesn't make decisions, Congress does. Congress passes the bills, etc. Obama is just a talking head, doing what he is told to do. Just like Bush was.
Glenn Beck has an excellent show, and you can tell because the numbers of his viewers keeps growing and growing and growing (and that is why the other stations are flailing around). With Beck we finally we get to hear the truth of what is going on in the country. It's about the only sanity we get.
If you don't like it don't watch it, but please, don't come here with this little petty petition.
The only paranoia that is in the news is coming from the liberals. Luckily it is not working. The liberal media is like a kid that runs into a theater yelling fire when there isn't one and then gets upset and whines when he gets in trouble for making false claims.
And the only hate I see is coming from the liberal media.
There has been no damage done to Fox network. Millions of viewers are tuning in each day and more are coming to watch. That is why MSNBC and CNN are losing rating big time. If they reported the truth and if they were fair and honest and treated their guests with dignity they ratings would go up, but they don't so they aren't. And now hearing tonight that the Glenn Beck show had three times as many viewers as MSNBC, CNN and some other station all rolled together, it doesn't surprise me about these false claims they are making.
Sign the petition??? Puleease, I'd laugh if I could. I'll save that for Red Eye tonight.
neither, nor, not even a joke.....nm
nm
The joke is on you really.
Rush has no authority or power over anyone. He doesn't control our taxes or anything of the sort. He is a very conservative person who tells his opinion like it is without playing politics. His ratings are higher than they have ever been. So give this whole Rush thing a break. I don't see Rush running for office of any kind. He is just speaking his mind truthfully without caring whether or not he ticks off the dems. How many politicians feel the same way but are too busy playing dirty politics to keep their position? Come on...give me a break. Rush is nothing but a commentator on the radio. It is you people who continue to put him at a higher place than he really is.
Is this a joke?
Let me see if I'm understanding you. They've taxed a lot of "vices" to price them out of the hands of the everyday man. You mean being gay is soon going to be solely the prerogative of the idle rich? Poor people won't be gay?
Do you really have the misguided thought that not only do people choose to be gay, they choose it based on their economic status?
I hate to break it to you, but gay is gay, and it crosses all socioeconomic, racial, ethnic, and religious categories.
She's a joke!
Can't believe she actually made it to Congress! When I lived in her district, I wouldn't have even voted for her for dog catcher!
Given to exaggeration much? LOL. What a joke. nm
You're a JOKE!
You're discussing issues on the CON board? You people can't leave the liberal board long enough to do so. You're obsessed with us.
Someone posted *George Will Speech -- read and discuss* on the CON board TWO DAYS AGO, yet not even ONE person responded with a post to *discuss* it. Your board is stagnant and boring. You can't be around people who agree with you because then you can't feel superior and judge others negatively, which is the extent of your measly *contribution* to any conversation.
The only people who are out for blood is the CONS, whether it's done by the government and executed by ones in power, or whether it's done on a message board by some poor lowly peon with absolutely no power, using an opportunity to demean those who don't agree for the purpose of building up their own pitiful selves.
You are a JOKE!
Joke for liberals. sm
How many members of the Bush Administration are needed to change a light bulb?
The Answer is ELEVEN:
1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed.
2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed.
3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb.
4. One to tell the nations of the world that they are either: For changing the light bulb or for darkness.
5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb.
6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a stepladder under the banner Light Bulb Change Accomplished.
7. One administration insider to resign and write a book documenting in detail how Bush was literally in the dark.
8. One to viciously smear #7.
9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light bulb-changing policy all along.
10. One to change the wrong lightbulb.
11. And finally one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.
Another joke for liberals...
Hillary's Deal With the Devil
Hillary was finishing up a day as Senator for New York when the Devil suddenly appeared in her office and made her an offer...
I am here to offer you a deal, the Devil said. I will give you unlimited wealth, even more power, and a media that will pander to your every whim. In return, all I ask for is your soul, the souls of every member of your family, and the souls of all your constituents.
Hillary pondered for a moment and then asked, Unlimited wealth and power?
Absolutely unlimited, the Devil asserted.
A pandering media? she asked.
They'll fall over themselves to support you, no matter what you say or do, the Devil assured.
And you want my soul, my family's souls, and the souls of my constituents? she asked.
Yes. All of them, the Devil answered.
Hillary was deep in thought for a moment, then finally spoke:
So...what's the catch?
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