This was meant to be a sort of black humor!! nm
Posted By: TLD on 2006-12-20
In Reply to: Golly... - TLD
nm
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yep - black humor
Actually, I thought it was hilarious when he said it.......but I'm a pretty easy going, laid back person. I saw the comedy in it.
This sort of thing is not subject to Presidential trickery of that sort. nm
nm
sort of
If an abortion is survived and the child "takes breath," then yes, I believe G-d has given a soul to that child.
As for Obama's vote in that matter, there is a lot more too it than you are posting. I have researched the bill, the votes, etc. I certainly don't believe he was condoning murder with this bill.
I sort of agree with you, but I think.....sm
that we won't necessarily be a third-world country, but rather a non-existant country. He is always talking so much the Europeans and how we should be so much more like them, and like you said, it seems he wants to be the president of the UN... I wouldn't doubt his trip over there had something to do with putting the wheels in motion for the US to join the European Union. JMHO of course.
I don't disagree with a lot of what he says as far as helping others, etc., but I can't afford to pay more taxes! We are in that middle ground where we're not poor enough to pay no taxes or get any of the freebies, yet make just enough to pay so many taxes we can't afford to do anything other than pay our bills with what's left.
I'd love to help the homeless, the infirm, the disabled, but I simply can't afford to do much more than volunteer a little time now and then and put a few coins in a fundraising can, but if Mr. Obama gets his way, I'll have to take away from mine to give to them anyway.
I'm so sick and tired of seeing friends and acquaintances who have little or no job, get food stamps and free babysitters for ''respite'' time for themselves, get free medical and dental care and TAKE HUGE VACATIONS that I could scream!! I work full time plus and my husband is self-employed working 24/7 too and we can't afford to take a vacation. We can't afford to get sick or need medication. I need new glasses badly right now, but I simply can't afford it. There are people in our area who are on all the programs and go and get into fights in bars and get their glasses broken and go to the eye doctor the next day and just get new ones. I just don't think it's fair.
But I also think that that is the plan... get us all to start believing that our lives will be easier if we let the government take care of us (and it would be!), but once we're all on the dole, watch out... because then that's when the free things will stop and you'll be sorry.
I'm not saying I favor one candidate over an other right now, I'm still waiting for the debates. I'm not anxious to hear what they can ''do for me'' but rather what they are going to do to help me help myself. I've run out of ways to make my money go any further. We don't live fancy, never have. We don't go out but maybe once or twice a year to dinner, never to a movie or club. Our home is old and plain and almost paid for and we have no other debt. We have worked very hard over the last 28 years to get to where we are today and I feel like the rug is being pulled out from under us. I just want to vote for whoever is not going to take away what I have worked so hard for.
my point exactly - well sort of
Why HC & JM dropped it? - I have no idea. We do know that BO and HC had private meetings, so who knows what went on there. I'm sure she was told to drop it (by the people funding BO) and offered a high ranking position, but we will never really know. JM - probably dropped it because if he pushed it they would have found that he too was not of legal standing to run for the position. But he was so weak and in no way had any of the funding that BO did and therefore was totally destroyed by BO. The party should have been smarter and picked somebody better, but then again GW's presidency (even though decisions are controlled by congress and the COB and the President is only a talking head) was such a failure I don't think any decent republican even had a chance at winning.
The media dropped it plain and simple. The MM is an organized propaganda tool. (Do you wonder why they don't report on 80% of the top stories going on). Maybe once or twice over the holiday weekend did they report on the situation in India. Even then it was given only a few moments. Then they had to go back to reporting about the Hollywood crowd and prisons in America, etc. Also, this is a very hot topic, and people who have been trying to get to the bottom of the issue have been met with death threats and have had to change their name. One guy even found a dead rabbit hanging on his porch and his auto destroyed with a warning to stop his investigation. Therefore, with all the violent tempers, this is one story no media is going to touch. That's why we have to hear (read) about it on the internet.
As for people posting articles. As with any of these sites here if people think an article is worthwhile to post they should be able to post. If it's just someone ranting on an on and giving nonsense opinions that's one thing, but these articles are written by journalist, lawyers, and people who have been following issues closely. When people post articles about food shortages, or Canada going crazy in their elections, or mad cow disease or any of other numerous articles not related to BO, they are never met with the same response of "your article is not credible". It is only when an article is posted of what's happening with Barky that people will say its not credible and then cite a pro-Obama site.
Posting an article we want to has nothing to do with proving we are MTs or not being allowed to post to this forum. It is an article we find of interest. If some don't like it, then read it and as they say "move on", but to come back and say that the articles are not credible sources but theirs are, well that's were it just gets too silly.
This is the sort of person
who should be put in front of "our boys" should there ever be an attach on our soil!
Right. It's sort of hidden, but we will ALL
nm
Why, to facilitate and sort of
ORGANIZE the whole volunteer process, you know? I'm sure there'll be lots of green stuff to learn, like how to rat out your dumb, stubborn parents for using the wrong kind of light bulbs. How to spot non-organic produce. We'll love it. It'll be great. You'll see! Soon we'll wonder how we ever got along without it.
And in the words of Ronald Reagan (yeah, another dead guy...everybody get over it, OK?) 'A government bureau is the nearest thing to eternal life we'll ever know on this earth.'
Wow...that is sort of confusing.
I guess if I were gay and had a partner, I'd just swap rings on my own and throw a party. The love two people have between each other means more than a legal piece of paper, IMO. I wouldn't travel to another state to get married just to go back home and it not mean anything legally. As often as people get divorced, you gotta wonder if straight people really get marriage.
A poll of a sort........... sm
What, in your opinion, originally defined right behavior from wrong behavior?
This not only applies to the discussion below but also any wrong behavior such as stealing, murder, rape, or any one of the other blights on the face of mankind. Please explain your answer citing whatever source of information supports your argument.
So you have to be some sort of HUMANITARIAN to be nominated.
That explains Bush's exclusion on that list. How embarrassed and ashamed should America be to see the leader of another, presumably poorer country try to provide humanitarian aid to Americans because our own president believes humanitarian aid begins with oil companies and ends with those intent on eliminating American freedom?
I wonder if he views our president as an oppressor and if he plans to invade and occupy our country to save us from Bush and to spread his superior form of government to the United States.
Sorry. I was just being silly. No credible leader in the world would ever do anything like THAT.....WOULD HE????
Sort of like Confederacy currency?
The economic summit was held behind closed doors. The politicians on both sides are probably gleefully aware that the American people are so busy blaming Democrats/Republicans they can't take time to see what is really going on. BOTH parties are to blame. I expect Bush made a deal behind closed doors and he'll pass it off to Obama who will continue. My opinion is we are no longer a free nation, we just haven't been informed of the new rules yet. He who has the gold rules and the foreign nations certainly have the gold. I don't personally expect Obama to make any great change, I just hope he will change some things that he can which might actually benefit the middle class but I honestly doubt it. WE, the "sheeple" have let this great country get in this condition and WE are going to have to fix it...if it isn't too late. I expect our forefathers are turning in their graves because of how we've squandered the freedom they fought and died to give us.
I take back what I said sort of - see message
I keep reading more and more websites that say the Wetland project in SF IS in the bill. I've been trying to find a link that will give word for word what is in the stimulus plan but I can't find anything. Since you said it's not in the plan can you give me a link that shows what exactly is in the plan?
your reply is sort of cute....nm
nm
I'm just sort of in shock. I'm not even going to post a link. nm
x
I guess I would say more center because I have sort of walked (sm)
the line between democrat and republican all along, so that would be more along with my thinking. I guess as far as what I would want to lose to get more to the center, I would have to say that I would want partial-birth or late term abortions to be illegal unless it was a threat to the mother's life. I would want unwanted babies who are born alive to have human rights to receive appropriate medical care. The other issue I have with O is his associations, but of course that has nothing to do with whether he is farther right or left, so I guess abortion is my only right/left issue.
The Post (sort of) issued an apology.
http://rawstory.com/news/2008/Sharpton_Post_editor_insulting_public_with_0219.html
Ironically (LOL), when I read some posts on this board denying this is blatant racism by the Post, the mental image I get is this (hoping it prints):
![Hear](http://ppostcards.com/t4/t4a/Chimp02.jpg")
They're always putting out this sort of thing, actually.
...just round-file it.
Sounds like a fine man voting his conscience, sort of like
nm
Bush was sort of in national guard but never showed for the physical... that counts? Cheney was nev
duh?? ya'll?
Okay, now, how about some humor?
The flooding was so bad in Washington that New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin called the president and said, 'You're on your own pal.' --Jay Leno
Today Warren Buffett announced he's giving away his multi-billion dollar fortune to charity rather than leaving it to his kids. He said he doesn't believe someone's son should inherit his father's position in society. Today President Bush had him put under surveillance. --Jay Leno
President Bush will not concede that global warming may have something to do with this crazy weather though he has been conducting all official business wearing floaties. --Jimmy Kimmel
Bad times on the East Coast as much of Washington, D.C. is flooded. Several government agencies had to close down including the Justice Department, the IRS and the National Zoo. FEMA headquarters floated away. --Jimmy Kimmel
The Census Bureau revealed today that Las Vegas is about to pass Washington, D.C. in population. The big difference between Las Vegas and D.C., of course, is that in Las Vegas people gamble with their own money. --Jay Leno
Rush Limbaugh was detained at Palm Beach International Airport today for alleged possession of prescription drugs that didn't have his name on them. The news reports said he had prescriptions with two different doctors' names on them. One of the drugs was Viagra. Actually, the reason that he flies with Viagra is because if helps to prevent the person sitting in front of him from reclining his seat too far back. --Jimmy Kimmel
Heavy rains caused so much flooding in Washington, D.C. today that they had to close down the National Archives where they keep the Constitution. They had to close it down. Luckily the Bush administration isn't using the Constitution anymore. --Jay Leno
They also had flooding at the Internal Revenue Service and had to close that down. They said some records may have been lost. Good. --Jay Leno
He hasn't been affected by the rain. He's been able to get around just fine on the presidential boogie board, Cowabunga One. --Jimmy Kimmel
A 140 year-old tree on the White House grounds fell over. The minute the tree fell over President Bush wasted no time in blaming it on the New York Times. --Jay Leno
Do you know this story? Today President Bush criticized the New York Times for revealing a government program to spy on people's bank accounts. President Bush defended it. Bush said, 'If you want to figure out what bad people are doing, follow the money.' He's right. That's how we got Tom DeLay. --Jay Leno
a little BC humor
Since we've finished the presidential campaign, I figured some political humor might be in store. In a government class in a Sante Fe high school, they were discussing the qualifications to be president of the United States . It was pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural-born citizen of at least 35 years of age. However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was the requirement to be a natural-born citizen. In short, her opinion was this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president. KC and the class were just taking it in and letting her rant, but everyone's jaw hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by asking...
"What makes a natural-born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by c-section?"
A little Friday Humor
A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
He asked, What are all those clocks?
St. Peter answered,Those are Lie-Clocks.
Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on
your clock will move.
Oh, said the man, whose clock is that?
That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.
Incredible, said the man. And whose clock is that one?
St. Peter responded, That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire
life.
Where's Bush's clock? asked the man.
Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan.
Some humor for my liberal
http://folksongsofthefarrightwing.cf.huffingtonpost.com/
I must have missed the humor in this.
And you must have missed that on a daily basis, the far left have developed a gang mentality where all the usual rules have been thrown aside. You aren't debating here, you realize? I could go on, but I won't. There is no point.
Would someone please explain the humor in this?
Is this an example of conservative humor (since the conservative talk show below wants to be the first to air it)? Apparently (but not surprisingly), Michele Malkin is a huge fan and wants this song recorded. I agree with his First Amendment rights and think he should be allowed to record it, regardless of how obscene the lyrics are. I can't post the lyrics here because of the profanity, but they can be found at http://www.blackfive.net/main/2006/06/hadji_girl.html
Sorry, but I don't get the *joke*. 
http://apnews.myway.com/article/20060704/D8IKSGI80.html
Jul 3, 9:44 PM (ET)
RALEIGH, N.C. (AP) - A Marine who wrote and performed a song about killing members of an Iraqi family has temporarily shelved the tune, a record producer said Monday.
Cpl. Joshua Belile planned to record Hadji Girl with Hits Music Studios, and the conservative talk program The Mike Church Show planned to be the first to air it, said Jimm Mosher, co-owner of the North Carolina studio. But the 23-year-old Iraq veteran nixed the plans late last week, he said.
We got a call from him and he just said he couldn't do the recording at this time, Mosher said. I was led to believe that he had it from high command that he wasn't to record the song.
Neither Belile nor the Marines returned phone messages Monday evening.
Hadji Girl surfaced in a four-minute video on the Internet. In the clip, Belile sings about a Marine who falls in love with an Iraqi woman and then encounters hostility from her family. Relatives kill the woman, prompting the Marine to gun down the family members.
An anonymous person posted the recording on the Web site YouTube, but it has since been removed.
Belile has said his song was intended as a joke.
He did not violate military law, Marine officials said last week. Belile's commanders will handle the matter administratively, which can include informal counseling about his actions.
Belile, assigned to North Carolina's Marine Corps Air Station New River, has said he believes the Marine Corps handled his case fairly.
Mosher said Belile still plans to record the song. Belile has said he will leave the military when his five-year enlistment ends in October 2007.
We're wanting to record and produce it, Mosher said. I think it tells a great story.
A little humor for Wednesday
President Bush was out, riding his bicycle, hit a rock, flew off his bicycle, over a bridge and landed in a lake where three little boys were fishing.
They rushed to save him, and the president was so grateful, he told them they could have anything they wanted in return for saving his life.
The first little boy wanted a trip to Disney World. The president said: No problem. Consider it done. I'll fly you there myself on Air Force One.
The second little boy asked for a new pair of Nike Air Jordans. The president said: No problem. I'll even see to it that Michael Jordan personally autographs them for you.
The third little boy asked for a really fast wheelchair with a big screen TV in front of it and surround sound stereo. The president said: Well, okay, but, son, you don't need a wheelchair.
The little boy said: I don't now, but I will as soon as my dad finds out I saved your butt.
A little humor for the Liberals sm
 He falls off bikes, gets black eyes from pretzels, and nearly flattens his staff with a tractor -- Dubya's middle name should be Clouseau. Wonder if he went to strongarm Caterpillar over their recent acknowledgement of global warming.
The White House announced its visit to a Caterpillar factory in East Peoria, Illinois, yesterday, where President George W. Bush advanced his case for expanding free trade negotiations. But it didn't detail the President's clumsy driving of a giant D-10 tractor that sent the White House press corps and presidential staff scrambling, which was reported at a Newsweek blog.
At The Gaggle, Newsweek reporter Holly Bailey writes that the president clambered into the driver's seat of Caterpillar's giant D10 tractor. I would suggest moving back...I'm about to crank this sucker up, she reports him saying.
But as White House staff started to move the press corps back, the situation became more chaotic. Bailey writes that the tractor lurched forward and White House staff too were forced to scramble for safety. Get out of the way! a news photographer yelled. I think he might run us over!
Bush chuckled about the incident, and referenced driving the tractor during his speech, saying I'm impressed by a culture of excellence and accomplishment that is the spirit of Caterpillar. I also appreciate the chance to drive a D10. If you've never driven a D10 -- (laughter) -- it's a cool experience. (Laughter), according to the White House website.
Bailey looked less fondly upon Bush's test drive of the D-10. Yeah, almost as much fun as seeing your life flash before your eyes, she wrote in response to the president's remark about his cool experience.
we will need our sense of humor
and some solar panels for this next chapter.
for sweetpea: I like your humor .....
...sucking on those sour grapes. It boiled down to this.
Go, Obama.
Get a sense of humor. n/m
x
Political humor
Subject: Will Obama get Osama, or will Osama get Obama?
After numerous rounds of 'We don't even know if Osama is still
alive', Barrack Hussein Obama has now been telling everyone he will
capture Osama Bin Laden when elected.
So, Osama himself decided to send Barrack Hussein Obama a letter in
his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.
Obama opened the letter and it contained a single line of coded
message:
370H-SSV-0773H
Obama was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Howard Dean.
Dean and the DNC and his aides had no clue either, so they sent it
to Joe Biden.
Joe Biden could not solve so it was sent to the FBI and the CIA.
Eventually they asked John McCain and his Staff to look at it.
And within minutes McCain's Staff e-mailed Obama with this reply:
'Tell Obama he's holding the message upside down'.
GET A SENSE OF HUMOR!!!!! nm
Love this humor....
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/obama_win_causes_obsessive
some political humor
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzlIm_T8xjM&feature=channel
Political humor
YOU MIGHT BE AN OBOT IF…
You’ve never paid any attention to politics until Obama ran for President, and now you’ve become a political expert by reading Huffington Post and/or Daily Kos.
You feel tingles running up or down your legs when That One is orating.
You get called a Cheetoh a lot but you don’t know why.
You believe there are only about 200 PUMAs in the country.
You weep with joy while repeating the mantra “YES WE CAN!”
You think Hillary Clinton tried to “steal” the Democratic nomination.
You fly into a rage when anyone suggests Obama is unqualified for the presidency.
You’ve used the word “racist” more than any other word in the last year.
You’ve developed a keen interest in Hawaiian body surfing.
For the first time in your life, you are proud of your country, but only because it elected a black president.
You believe that with Obama as president, this is a New Age when all wars will end, everyone will be provided for, and you don’t have to worry about paying your mortgage anymore!
You think Obama is a Great Man because of his magnificent accomplishments … like getting elected, and uh, uh, uh…
You think all Hillary Clinton supporters are middle-aged lesbians (not that there’s anything… yada yada yada… )
You get a lump in your throat when you hear the words “President Obama.”
You get a lump in your pants when you see Michelle Obama.
You think Bill Ayers was a non-issue, and was done wrong by the evil media.
You plan to name your children Barack and Baracka.
You believe that saying his middle name is racist.
You think the political platform of “change” is original to Obama.
You believe PUMAs are Republicans pretending to be disaffected Democrats, kind of like Joe Lieberman.
Political humor
YOU MIGHT BE AN OBOT IF…
You’ve never paid any attention to politics until Obama ran for President, and now you’ve become a political expert by reading Huffington Post and/or Daily Kos.
You feel tingles running up or down your legs when That One is orating.
You get called a Cheetoh a lot but you don’t know why.
You believe there are only about 200 PUMAs in the country.
You weep with joy while repeating the mantra “YES WE CAN!”
You think Hillary Clinton tried to “steal” the Democratic nomination.
You fly into a rage when anyone suggests Obama is unqualified for the presidency.
You’ve used the word “racist” more than any other word in the last year.
You’ve developed a keen interest in Hawaiian body surfing.
For the first time in your life, you are proud of your country, but only because it elected a black president.
You believe that with Obama as president, this is a New Age when all wars will end, everyone will be provided for, and you don’t have to worry about paying your mortgage anymore!
You think Obama is a Great Man because of his magnificent accomplishments … like getting elected, and uh, uh, uh…
You think all Hillary Clinton supporters are middle-aged lesbians (not that there’s anything… yada yada yada… )
You get a lump in your throat when you hear the words “President Obama.”
You get a lump in your pants when you see Michelle Obama.
You think Bill Ayers was a non-issue, and was done wrong by the evil media.
You plan to name your children Barack and Baracka.
You believe that saying his middle name is racist.
You think the political platform of “change” is original to Obama.
You believe PUMAs are Republicans pretending to be disaffected Democrats, kind of like Joe Lieberman.
Political humor
YOU MIGHT BE AN OBOT IF…
You’ve never paid any attention to politics until Obama ran for President, and now you’ve become a political expert by reading Huffington Post and/or Daily Kos.
You feel tingles running up or down your legs when That One is orating.
You get called a Cheetoh a lot but you don’t know why.
You believe there are only about 200 PUMAs in the country.
You weep with joy while repeating the mantra “YES WE CAN!”
You think Hillary Clinton tried to “steal” the Democratic nomination.
You fly into a rage when anyone suggests Obama is unqualified for the presidency.
You’ve used the word “racist” more than any other word in the last year.
You’ve developed a keen interest in Hawaiian body surfing.
For the first time in your life, you are proud of your country, but only because it elected a black president.
You believe that with Obama as president, this is a New Age when all wars will end, everyone will be provided for, and you don’t have to worry about paying your mortgage anymore!
You think Obama is a Great Man because of his magnificent accomplishments … like getting elected, and uh, uh, uh…
You think all Hillary Clinton supporters are middle-aged lesbians (not that there’s anything… yada yada yada… )
You get a lump in your throat when you hear the words “President Obama.”
You get a lump in your pants when you see Michelle Obama.
You think Bill Ayers was a non-issue, and was done wrong by the evil media.
You plan to name your children Barack and Baracka.
You believe that saying his middle name is racist.
You think the political platform of “change” is original to Obama.
You believe PUMAs are Republicans pretending to be disaffected Democrats, kind of like Joe Lieberman.
Now THIS is humor at its finest.
It's just plain ordinary, dull and, well, stupid.
More political humor...(sm)
http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=215336&title=President-Goofus-and-President-Gallant---Peer-Pressers
Political humor
This made me laugh. Hope it does others too. We all need some humor in our day.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWTCIpT1j7U&feature=related
Political humor
On July 8, 1947, almost exactly 60 years ago, witnesses claim that an unidentified flying object with five aliens aboard crashed into a sheep and cattle ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico. This is a well-known incident that many say has long been covered up by the U.S. Air Force and other federal agencies.
However, what you may not know is that the month of March 1948, nine months after that historic day, the following people were born:
Albert Gore
Hillary Rodham Clinton
John F. Kerry
William Clinton
Howard Dean
Nancy Pelosi
Dianne Feinstein
Charles Shummer
Barbara Boxer
Oh come on, you cannot let humor back up
in your system. It has to come out.
Political humor
I don't think this is specif to either party. It's just funny as anything. I had tears watching this I laughed so hard.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0O0wl_UaU8
A little Friday humor for liberals ONLY, as
You Know You Are Still a Republican If ...
A BUZZFLASH READER CONTRIBUTION
by Jimmy Lohman
You are more upset about Brokeback Mountain than Abu Ghraib.
You can’t stand Hilary Clinton’s hair but you have no problem with Tom DeLay’s.
You think Global Warming is no big deal but environmentalists are a major problem.
You support the war on drugs but think Rush Limbaugh is being prosecuted unfairly.
You think professional athletes make too much money but Sam Walton’s kids deserve everything they have.
You like the way George Bush walks.
You think Al Gore is wooden and Donald Rumsfeld has charisma.
You think CNN is biased but Fox News is neutral.
You like the sound of Newt Gingrich’s voice.
You are sure the United States has the best education and health care systems in the world.
You think Dick Cheney is a straight shooter.
You think Michael Chertoff’s beard makes him look distinguished.
You think the problem with our health care system is lawyers.
You think it was more important to locate Monica Lewinsky’s blue dress than to locate weapons of mass destruction.
You don’t believe terrorism has made Rudy Giuliani an incredibly rich man.
You believe freedom of speech covers everything Pat Robertson says and does, but burning a flag should be illegal.
You can be in the same room with Brit Hume.
You have yourself convinced that the country and world are better off now than 5 years ago.
A BUZZFLASH READER CONTRIBUTION
Jimmy Lohman is a musician and human rights lawyer in Austin, Texas, and an occasional contributor to Buzzflash
A jump on Friday humor
Now that the Enron slimeballs have gotten theirs, a look back at some old late-night jabs:
This past Sunday, former Enron CEO Ken Lay went to a church in Houston. On the way out, a reporter asked him how he thought it was going to work out. Lay said with God's help we'll get through it. To which the Devil said, 'Hey, I thought we had a deal.' —Jay Leno
In Houston this week they had an auction for Enron. They sold all kinds of things that were once property of Enron. Lots of good deals — in fact I picked up 2 senators and a congressman. Hell of a deal. —Jay Leno
Playboy magazine is now doing a 'Women of Enron' pictorial spread. ... Apparently the only thing these women have left to shred is their dignity. —Jay Leno
Playgirl magazine is now offering the men of Enron a chance to post nude. Coincidentally, the men of Enron will soon be getting the same offer from their cellmates. —Conan O'Brien
President Bush revealed today there is a shadow government run by people who live outside of Washington in bunkers in case Washington was ever attacked. I thought the shadow government was the one Enron bought with all those contributions. —Jay Leno
Are you getting a big kick out of the Enron scandal? I find this interesting that whenever a big crisis starts, people start showing up in church. So, Ken Lay shows up in church this weekend. Church officials are still looking for the collection plates. —David Letterman
The wife of Enron CEO Kenneth Lay, Linda Lay, was on the 'Today' show yesterday. She said her husband is an honest, moral man who has done nothing wrong. And today Hillary Clinton said, 'You go, girl! ...She went on to say they've lost all their money. Luckily, they've still got plenty of everybody else's money.' —Jay Leno
Playgirl magazine is planning a pictorial spread for the men of Enron. You thought they were hiding massive deficits before. —Dennis Miller
The White House is sending Vice President Dick Cheney to the Middle East this month. You get the feeling that President Bush's opinion of Cheney has changed since the Enron thing broke? You know a few weeks ago, all they would say about Cheney is that he was in a safe, undisclosed location. He's hidden away. As soon as Enron popped up, they sent him to the most dangerous place in the world. —Jay Leno
The White House again refused to turn over discussions Vice President Cheney had with Enron officials over energy policy. Cheney said if he had to disclose every time some business donated a ton of money then came in to write its own policy to govern itself, he wouldn't get any work done. —Dennis Miller
Some members of Congress now are complaining they are underpaid. They want to propose a pay raise. You can't blame them. A lot of them took a big income hit when Enron folded. —Jay Leno
Former Enron CEO Jeffrey Skilling appeared before Congress. Do you think they even bothered swearing him in? Now he is denying he lied to Congress last week. He's saying it was just the liquor talking. —Jay Leno
The CEO of Enron, Jeffrey Skilling, married one of the Enron secretaries this week. It's amazing how romantic these Enron guys can be when they realize that wives can't be forced to testify against their husbands. Skilling said today she was the best secretary Enron had ever had. She could shred 950 words a minute. ... I guess they are on their honeymoon right now. That's going pretty well. Hey, he's used to screwing Enron employees. —Jay Leno
Over the weekend, former Enron executives Jeffrey Skilling and Rebecca Carter married each other during a huge ceremony in Houston. The happy couple is planning to honeymoon for three weeks in front of Congress. —Conan O'Brien
The Houston Astros want to change the name of Enron Field where they play. I guess the Enron name could cause problems for them. Like players could steal a base and then deny it. —Jay Leno
In the Enron scandal, whistleblower Sherron Watkins is now calling herself Enron Brokovitch. She testified Ken Lay was duped by the other executives. Oh, yeah. When is the last time you got duped and made $100 million? —Jay Leno
A lot of Congressmen yesterday were upset when Kenneth Lay took the Fifth. Lay said it wasn't his fault. He had planned on testifying, but when Jeffrey Skilling testified, he took all the really good lies. —Jay Leno
There are reports that former Enron CEO Ken Lay is missing. And I'm thinking, has somebody checked Dick Cheney's pockets? —David Letterman
President Bush revealed today there is a shadow government run by people who live outside of Washington in bunkers in case Washington was ever attacked. I thought the shadow government was the one Enron bought with all those contributions. —Jay Leno
The Enron scandal continues. The U.S. Senate has announced they are going to subpoena Ken Lay and make him testify. Apparently Lay received the subpoena this morning and then, out of habit, immediately shredded it. —Conan O'Brien
Today the United States has admitted that after months and months of searching, we still have no idea where Osama bin Laden is. Osama bin Laden? We can't even find Kenneth Lay. —Jay Leno
I did not have political relations with that man, Ken Lay. —Sen. Fritz Hollings (D-S.C.), poking fun at Bush for distancing himself from Enron
The big rumor going around is, we may begin bombing Iraq. Or, as the White House calls it, Operation Keep Enron Off The Front Page. —Jay Leno
Dick Cheney finally responded today to demands that he reveal the details of the Enron meetings. This is what he said. He met with unnamed people, from unspecified companies, for an indeterminate amount of time at an undisclosed location. Thank God he cleared that up. I'm ready to move on. —Jay Leno
It turns out Enron workers were not only shredding documents at work, they were having sex at work. Having sex and shredding documents. Those are two things you don't want to get mixed up. —Jay Leno
It was cold today. I was rubbing my hands together more than Dick Cheney at an Enron payday. —Jay Leno
Enron is now officially out of the energy business. They are now in a new business: confetti. —Jay Leno
Wouldn't it be great if all of Osama bin Laden's money was tied-up in Enron stock? —Dennis Miller
Friday Humor: I think we need this (may be a repost) sm
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing.
He concludes by saying: Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed.
OH NO! the President exclaims. That's terrible!
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.
Finally, the President looks up and asks, How many is a brazillion?
That is actually a political humor web page. sm
http://buckfush.com/
Another conserv without a sense of humor?
Is it a common trait?
April Fools humor...
Deleted by Moderator - very inappropriate.
Humor? Wisdom? To be called a
"babe," "skirt" is humorous? Wisdom???? Where is the so-called wisdom in that sexist remark? But of course Lush will get away with it.... he's too valuable to the pubnuts!! Disgraceful is what it is!!!!
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