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12-year-old son says I yell at him all the time (sm)

Posted By: MT mom on 2009-04-13
In Reply to:

The thing is, I don't.  I am recently separated for about 2 months now and my children are happy about moving, as their dad was not pleasant for any of us to live with. But my almost 12 year old son unfortunately seems to have thought it was going to be an opportunity to get away with whatever he wants.  He begs me to let him miss school for no reason, and even when I explain to him the reasons why he can't, he wants to debate and argue until I have to firmly tell him no.  Then Friday I had given the kids a little money to get something for Easter and I only had an hour, had agreed to take them to one store and if they didn't find anything to take them to another store this week.  My son kept begging me to take him to two other stores...even though I explained to him repeatedly that I did not have time. He also started begging me to let him by rated M X-Box games and I told him no, that just because we moved doesn't mean he is old enough for those games.  So he started crying on Friday.  My 9 year old daughter is acting more mature than he is. 


He was about to get out of the car to go into school this morning and he said, "you have been yelling at me all the time, you used to not do that!"  My daughter said, "but that was just one time, what are you talking about? It's not all the time." and he again teared up and said that I do yell at him all the time.  I think he is upset every time I tell him no.  He tries to debate with me and argue his point but if it is no, I just say, "I'm sorry but I can't do that" or I have told him at times that he is not being reasonable.   What is going on?




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Please don't think I don't yell.
MY DH is not a yeller and he has helped my calm that down a bit, I really just meant the name calling and the really cruel things that can be said.
Yes, it scares the yell out of me. sm
When it first came on, I didn't want to watch it because the subject matter really frightened me. My family got me started on it, though, saying what a great show it is. It sure does make me think about what could happen if something like that were to occur, being under martial law and all of that.
This is definitely my time of year. (SM)
I love the warm days with bright sunshine, the comfortable nights for sleeping and the beautiful display of color on the trees.  I love Halloween and when I had my house I would put orange lights out on the porch and bushes and the last 3 years had a big Halloween party.  I am my dad's daughter totally in that respect. It was Dad's favorite time of year.  I also live in the northeastern part of the country in Pennsylvania.   
Do you yell at your kids/spouse?

I grew up in a family of non-yellers. Even when he was drunk, my dad didn't yell. I've raised my voice to DH twice in our entire 34 years together, and one of those times was excused because I was pregnant, hot and miserable. I've never raised my voice to my kids.


Several of my friends are big-time yellers. It makes me cringe when I hear it. I guess cause I'm not used to it.


i buy time once a year/tracfone
and it averages out to $8/month. I wanted a phone for emergency mainly too. Initial phone cost was about $20. The big plus to me besides cost is that they feed off ALL cell phone towers, not just their own as other companies do. works good enough for me, and being pretty rural, its really my only option of value.
It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year!

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
With the kids jingle-belling
And everyone telling you "Be of good cheer"
It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year


It's the hap - happiest season of all
With those holiday greetings and gay happy meetings
When friends come to call
It's the hap - happiest season of all

There'll be parties for hosting
Marshmallows for toasting
And caroling out in the snow
There'll be scary ghost stories
And tales of the glories of
Christmases long, long ago

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
There'll be much mistltoeing
And hearts will be glowing
When love ones are near 


It's The Most Wonderful Time 
It's The Most Wonderful Time
It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year



This time of year can be great but

Dealing with in-laws is awful sometimes.  I just need to vent so whoever does not want to hear it you mine as well stop reading now.  My father-in-law is crazy and I mean he is bipolar.  He thinks he is so innocent and people are out to get him when he stirs up trouble constantly.  This is the first time we have seen him at Christmas in 3 years.  He has caused trouble with my BIL and SIL and they have wrote him off yet again.  My hubbie says he does not want to do that because of the fact of what if something happens to him, he would regret it.  He wants to be forgiving which I understand it is his dad, but oh my gosh he stood in our living room last night and told us a bunch of lies which I am know for a fact are lies and then starts preaching to us about people and unforgiveness.  I was getting so mad I wanted to cry right there and I could not go to sleep last night I was so frustrated.  AAAHHHAAHHH!! 


Anyways just wanted to vent.  I do love this time of the year with the decorations and Christmas music just could do with a little less of the drama.  I wish people did not have to be dumb sometimes.  Okay I am done,  Thanks for letting me vent!! 


 


It's unbelievably hot here for this time of year
The temperatures are well above average here in Upstate NY. It's in the 80s today and it's supposed to stay that way for the rest of the week and then go into the high 60s-low 70s over the weekend. I love fall too.
By far, our favorite this time of year...

Christmas Vacation - we watch it every year. 


Elf is also a great holiday movie


Bruce Almighty


Liar Liar


Austin Powers


Shrek


Ferris Bueller's Day Off


American Pie - not the sequels


Fast Times at Ridgemont High


Porky's


Dumb and Dumber


 


 


Every year same old, same old at tax time Venting-

My husband and I never fight ----- until April. Then it's constant for about 2 weeks.


My hubby is self-employed. We've had a couple of rough years and for the past 2 years were unable to pay quarterly taxes. When tax time rolls around, bang! We're fighting like cats and dogs! He complains about how much he has to pay in every year I really don't blame him, as it seems like in his line of work, a lot of deductions are not allowed and it sucks.


In reality, we gotta get on top of the quarterlies again. Then it wouldn't hurt so much. He said he didn't make any money last year, but we still have to pay in over $8000 to the IRS. I really don't know how this could be either. Then he threatens to sell his equipment. Now for the next 3 months, all I'll hear is the complaining (putting it nicely). 


It upsets me when we fight, but I'm tired of hearing it all the time. I wasn't even going to tell him how much we owed but I didn't know where to get the money to quietly pay off the IRS.


Anybody want a wonderful husband for the next month or so? Just until he gets over it, then I want him back. (only kidding---he's a real keeper).


Thanks for listening. Any suggestions on how to get around this crappy tax thing, please let me know.


 


 


My husband told me I sound like a you know what when I yell. . sm
He said he just couldn't stand to hear me yell at the kids anymore. It was annoying him. I'm sure it was. All he wanted to do when he came home from work was sit in front of the tv and relax. Me yelling at the kids to do every little thing was really cramping his style. I stopped yelling at them because it really didn't help them listen anyway. If I had to tell them something more than once, I would turn to my husband and say "Jeff, it's your turn." Then he would yell at them! I can't believe how well it is working!
Poll time... if your 15-year-old daughter....sm

has a paper due at school that was assigned a week ago, she procrastinated and didn't start writing it until the afternoon before the due date and didn't type it up until 11 p.m. at night, then knocked on your door to wake you up because she realized there was no printer printer would you:


A.  Get dressed and go to the 24-hour Wal-Mart to get paper.


B.  Tell her that it's too bad- she should have done her paper sooner than this and alerted you before 11 p.m. that there was no printer paper - especially when she has gone through a whole ream within a month printing out things like rock band and television star photos and other nonessential things.


(For the record - my husband & I did option B to help her learn a "life lesson" last night - she'll get a reduced grade for turning in the paper late but hopefully she'll learn to stop procrastinating on her school work - which is a chronic problem with her - even with her getting A's and B's.)


And sad to say, a lot of people this time of year are mean and cranky...
I am basically done with my Christmas shopping as well...I have found in the past that if I had something in mind and waiting until after Thanksgiving, it would be out of stock and I would have to pay more for it in the long run...
ever see Neil Simons' "Same time Next Year?" (NM)
.
Allergies? Anything specific blooming this time of year? Anemia?
s
I still get a couple loaf pans of it every year at butchering time

DH doesn't touch it but I love it. I grew up on it too.


I also grew up on Spam. Mom had a stove that had a pull out griddle above the oven and she would put spam and egss on there for a Tuesday night supper.


I have 2 cans of Spam in my pantry now. The ingredients state: Pork with ham, mechanically separated chicken, water , salt, modified potato starch, sugar, hickory smoke flavoring (I have the hickory smoke flavor), and sodiu nitrite. Opps. There's that bad word-sodium nitrite.


 


Land's End is good for suits. Don't know if you can access their swimwear at this time of year
s
Poll time - should a 12-17-year-old have adult language CDs and R-rated movies...sm
bought for them?  My husband & I disagree on this.  Our 15-year-old daughter wants a DVD from a rock group that has the adult language warnings on them and I don't want them to have any of them, but he doesn't see a problem with it.  He says she can hear language like that at school but I don't think a kid should own it to listen to the foul mouthed stuff at their own leisure.  What do you think?
Bigger issue - a 16 year old living withi a 29 year old and liability
Are you still not responsible for him until he is 18, how can he tell you where he will live?  Unless he emancipates himself and he does something wrong, can they go against you since you are his mother and legally responsible for him?  I worry more about him living with a 29 year old sister rather than returning a house key to me that is a bigger issue.
My 14-year-old is going to be a mother-in-law (so funny) if you google it and 11-year-old daughter
x
Won $2,000 on slot machine on New Year's Eve. What a way to start the year. nm
!
Set my budget a year in advance, save all year and
nm
What a difference a year makes! Last year, sm
we had the same problem.  Fines everywhere for watering.
Paid $60,000 on principal last year and this year
planning on another $30,000 after my taxes paid for the year. We are getting our house paid down very quickly.
55-year old woman has birthday sex with 12-year old

DAYTON - Gloria Murphy gave children celebrating her 55th birthday alcohol and then had sex with a 12-year-old boy at the party on Thursday, Jan. 29, according to police.


The boy got into Murphy’s bed at 5440 Rawlings Drive, where the married woman had sex with her adolescent neighbor, according to police and Montgomery County prosecutors. 


Two of the children at the party ran home at about 6 a.m. Jan. 30 and told a parent they saw the boy and woman having sex, according to 911 audio.


The parent then called police at about 6:15 a.m., according to a police report and 911 audio.


Murphy did not force the boy to have sex, but since he is younger than 13, it is considered rape, Lt. Patrick Welsh said. No other children were involved in the sexual encounter, but some other children at the party consumed alcohol, according to police.


No! That sounds too desperate. TIME. Just give it TIME. If it is real, then sm
something will definitely evolve. If you like him, flirt back! Don't act desperate because if he DOES like you, then the suspense will just make him want to get to know you more. Trust me on this.

I worked in the medical records department of a hospital when I was single and dated a few co-workers in my early 30s. It was fun. Nothing serious came about any of the relationships.

This sounds like fun - the beginning of maybe something to come....Keep us informed.
Totally agree, get these from time to time since teens...sm
It's a neuro condition, it does not mean there is anything at all wrong with you, it is actually related to narcolepsy, hypnagogic (sp? I just got up!) hallucinations, etc. And I HATE when I get these, it is always freaky, my siblings get this too, at times. I can "go away" for years and years before you get another episodes, so don't worry! I heard that when you are under a lot of stress or are very busy with things that this happens more??? Take care!!
It's time to stop when you or the kid(s) feel it is time, and no sooner. sm
My grandmother (who passed away at the young age of 107 back in the mid 1990s) was STILL celebrating every little holiday for all of her many kids and grandkids, and she would STILL give me a chocolate bunny every Easter, as she had since I was a toddler and even though I was 40ish at the time (and I still delighted in biting its head off in front of her, as I had also done since I was a toddler, which always met with mock disapproval from her).

Don't let anyone dampen your joy in celebrating your traditions.
A 17-year-old would have the same goals as a 20 year old (sm)
Only the 20 year old is hopefully more responsible and based on what you say about his character, would be a better choice than someone her own age.
I have a 9-year-old son that sounds just like your 10 year old...
Lately he has been so negative about everything...trying to make him have a good summer and whenever I take him somewhere, he is just a brat when we get home...I think they are called tweens at this age...not quite teenagers but have the attitude like one---LOL
We skipped it entirely last year, and THIS year?

This 40-year-old got dumped for a 30-year-old
http://www.gqmagazine.co.uk/CoolNewStuff/Photos.aspx?StoryID=53859
This year will be our 35th year
The first couple years it was literally 5 or 6 times a day every day (more on the weekends). Over time it gradually slowed down (once a day) and over the past few years its been 2 or 3 times a week. Not sure that is average or not. There were times were I felt it was too much and him not enough, then there were times where I wanted it more and he didn't. Guess everyone goes through a phase. I guess because of how long we've been together, now it's just comfortable - nothing exciting about it. Just a routine. I have to make it exciting in my mind and pretend I'm someone else.

I don't know what it is, but you are correct...after awhile the lust and infatuation wears off and you get in a routine. I guess for us it was that we really didn't know each other when we married (we dated for 3 weeks then eloped). Once I got to know him it was too late. Now 35 years later it is just comfort (and amazingly we never once used birth control and never had any kids). My mom still tells me she's amazed at the frequency of our encounters that not even once did I even have a "close call" with getting pregnant.

But 35 years once or twice a week and 3 or 4 times on weekends. Not sure if that is normal.
The very 1st time he talked about killing you, was the time
The guy sounds like a psycho.
Rachael Ray has a segment from time to time
on using the bottom of the bottle receipes (i.e. bar-be-q sauce, peanut butter, maple syrup) and I have used many of her ideas and been amazed at how far you can stretch a dollar that way. Go to her website, it will give you many ideas.
Oh Amy, surely there was a man who "kept" you from time to time..
or you were at least married and had access to money!
It was a great time - I just hate the time we are in now
I liked your post. Thanks for replying It's nice to know other people were raised like me. We seem to appreciate the things we have. Oh I should've also said we didn't have A/C growing up. My parents idea of A/C was having my sister and I wave a piece of cardboard in front of them. HA HA HA.

I just couldn't stand the 90s and 2000s are even worse. I hate all the politics going on today, the world events, the bleak future. The degenerates running around, listening to kids talk back to their parents, girls gone wild, etc, etc. I'm grateful my grandparents and mom are not alive anymore to have to go through this with us.

I love watching old movies and the music of the 40s/50s. If I was alive back then I would've been doing the jitterbug and all those other fun dances. Life seemed simpler and cleaner (even though I've got a mouth like a sailer - guess I got that from my Army days).

I wouldn't mind the turn of the century either. I love the clothing and the simple life. Those are the times when the husband took care of the wife. If I could be transported back to the 1800s I surely would in a second.
Time out and then spanking if time out
If we are out in public however, we do not go home. Spanking right there and then and the kids learn REAL QUICK mom means business. I do not mess around and I have a 17-year-old now that has enlisted in the military and THANKS me for his tough upgrowing. It helped him through basic training.
Well, I have questioned myself from time to time.
I figured this was typical.  DD has lots of friends but two real close friends.  I guess this is all part of building social skills.  I am glad I did okay then. 
Same thing happens to me from time to time - sm
if I roll over too quickly. I have positional vertigo. There is not too much you can do about it except try not to move or get up too quickly from a supine position. I have never had an earache in my life either so that has nothing to do with it. I don't ever feel sick from it though, just more of a nuisance for me every now and then. If it keeps happening obviously get checked out, you may have a more severe case, though again there really not much you can do about it, all it is is some particles in your ear breaking loose and that causes the dizziness, etc.
If I had not asked time and time again
for the daughter to ask me are you upset- are you angry- are you in a bad mood- People can think what they want- She is a very intelligent person and my asking to please should be enough. Gest of the posting. Selfish, OMG, that is really a laugh. I have and do take care of others well before my needs- I have given of myself, my time, my finances, the whole thing until, now this will sound selfish- it is my time now. I take care of me now- this is selfish but this is the truth. I raised my family, did all I could (still do for the daughter if she needs assistance which she never asks for but I offer)and now in golden years, me time.
Yes. Next time put a time limit on it., but is there any way you
nm
I keep it in the office part time and on the patio part time
I've got the self-cleaning electric litter box (and boy is it worth the $100), and have a huge throw rug under it with a smaller rug by the litter pan that has a bumpy mat on top of it to catch the excess. I keep it in the office from April to October but on the patio from October to March as it is too hot in FL to leave the patio door open for them during the summer months. I also put out a spare box when we go out of town for the weekend.

Try a box that has deeper sides maybe, or not as much litter in it?
My 7-year-old dog is very ill.
One of my two huskies started getting sick Saturday or Sunday. Her symptoms suggest poisoning or a brain tumor. She has always been sensitive to airborn allergens. Her eyes itch terribly if she the dog bed has cedar, and we avoid foods with wheat or corn or too many carbs, trying to keep her healthy. Anyway, it seems the slip cover I put on the dogs' chair may have been treated with something like formaldehyde and she is reacting to that. But I removed it when I started suspecting it on Monday night, and left the window open all night. She seems to get better and then gets worse, even though I'm not letting her back up on that chair. We have ordered an air filter for the living room. But symptoms wax and wane, and they are mostly neurological: squints eyes, acts like she can't see, walks in circles, breathing is slowed, she's very lethargic, presses her head on me for comfort (she's done this for years, but now I read head-pressing is a neurological sign), drooling, forgets to to outside to urinate and has incontience in the house.

Please pray that the Creator has mercy and heals her for us. Misha is sweet.
We are getting my son the PS2 this year,
and that in itself is around $140, around $40 for his leggo set (on sale at that). It adds up.
How about over $500 this year
for your tax return? That is through one of the biggest places we have, not some fly-by-night. Mine are more in depth because of rental, selling a home this past year and my working from home but this year am getting back over $6,000.00 but guess what? I am always just glad to get back any amount rather than paying!!
I go through it every year, though last year - sm
they did surprise me after saying it was delayed a month, I ended up getting it about 10 days later. When it has been delayed it has taken about 5 weeks. The website should give you a date of when to expect it, and that is generally right on the money. As for the date, contact the courts and have him arrested, maybe jail will teach him to pay on time. Good luck.
This is such a bad year
that my allergies are acting up, and I've had very little trouble for the past 10 years or so. Interestingly, my allergies decreased to near nothing after I was on an antifungal medication for an extended period. There are theories that all the increased allergies and asthma are related to they heavy-duty antibiotics we are able to use now for bacterial infections. Maybe these are messing up our airway flora and increasing problems with allergies?

When you say you've been on nasal sprays, what about the asthma ones, like albuterol nad Atrovent? That's what they had to put my sister on.

Hope you get some relief. Allergies are miserable.
What year is your car? sm
My husband works at an auto parts store, and I'll ask him what he thinks, but I think he needs to know the year.
My 17-year-old DD
has been wearing a size 10 or 10 1/2 ladies for the last 3 years.  She is 5Ǝ" or 5Ə".  My 20-year-old DS wears a 12 mens and has since high school.  I wear an 8 or 9 and my hubby only wears an 8.  We have no idea where these kids get their height or those feet!  Our 15-year-old DS is following in their footsteps, excuse the pun, as well.  He is in a 10 mens sneaker and already a head taller than my 5ƌ".  Unbelievable.
I did this last year
If it's the one I think it is, my friend send it to my last year, and I almost had heart failure. I screamed so loud I thought I'd wake up the house. I also had the sound on really loud and never again! LOL