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16-year-old daughter-need advice desperately

Posted By: mom of 2 on 2008-07-16
In Reply to: 16-year-old daughter - need help from all who have gone through this - need advice desperately

She is heading down a dark path here. You don't know who she is hanging with and she is pretty good at being stealth. Please put your foot down. You don't want her to be a headline, too many bad things can happen to her. It will be ugly and horrible but that's our job. You don't want to be looking back saying..."if only"...good luck! Any of us could be where you are!


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Need advice on 16 year old daughter. SM
I just found out that my 16 1/2 year old daughter has been drinking and smoking and has been lying to me about this. I found out and confronted her and she came clean stating that she drinks, but has never been drunk, will just have enough to where she is "happy" and also smokes 3 to 4 cigarettes a month, she says. I have now lost complete trust in her because she has been lying to me all this time stating that she did not drink or smoke and neither did her friends, etc, etc. She has always been a good girl (or at least I thought so) and is an honor student. She just got her driver's license in May. The first thing that I have decided to do is to not let her drive for a while. This is my first experience with this and I need advice and guidance on what the appropriate punishment is. Please help.
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Tough Love advice. My 19-year-old daughter is making me nuts..
I don't even know where to start with this one but I'll just to give a short summary. My 19-year-old daughter has been troubled since I can remember. For example, her terrible twos went beyond that..if you didn't peel her orange right, she didn't want it and would throw it across the room. I think her diagnosis is best described as ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) and bipolar. She has a quick temper and at age 5 blackened her 12-year-old brother's eyes with a book because he got in her face. She has annoyed everyone she has come into contact with. She is very immature. We have tried everything to get her help because once she became a teenager it just got worse.  She is self-destructive and I became the enabler and now it is out of control. She would not go to school so she does not have an education.  We had to call the cops numerous times because of her violent outbursts. We had her arrested when she stole our credit cards so she could learn a lesson but the courts did nothing. She was supposed to be court ordered to have a job and attend school, of which she did nothing and there was no punishment. She has never suffered any consequences no matter how hard we tried. She was charged with 10 felonies for the credit card theft but got nothing. She just batted her big blue eyes at the judge and it all went away. I have paid her rent for a year or two, bought her a car and paid for it. All of these of course when she had a job but right after I did all of this she stopped going. She got into meth..You would not believe my heartbreaking nightmare. Some days I just don't think I can take another minute of it. At this point, she is now homeless because I just cannot keep paying her bills.  She just totaled the car so she has no car and no job and still wants me to pay her way and she has lost her license due to DUI and driving again without privileges. It never stops. How far do I take this? She calls me for money that she says is to eat but if I keep giving her money then what is her motivation to go to work. I kept thinking if she hit bottom she could only come up..but she likes the bottom and just hovers there. She adapts to any environment. So when does she wake up and do you think tough love would work on a child with mental issues. I paid all of her doctor bills so she could get help and on medication but just found out she hasnt been taking them. I know I have so many questions but I have no idea how to "fix her" anymore. I know she needs to help herself but how much is she actually capable of being on drugs and mental health issues. This is devastating to our family and when I don't help her she becomes suicidal and I want to just hang up because I know she is manipulating but what if this is the time she really does something. I tried to take her into the hospital because of her meth addiction because she finally asked for help and was told there really wasn't any programs for her because she didn't have insurance so I left just thinking.."well, I guess you'll have to do it on your own, there is no help." Now, that is heartwrenching. At some point, I know she just has to grownup, but I don't know if I can survive this. I'm stressed 24/7 and sadly whenever she calls I get such bad anxiety. I can hardly be around her because she is so manipulative and I feel guilty that I try to avoid her. I always thought it'd be different if I just loved her more, spend more time with her and so as a mom, I blame myself because she is so messed up. Guilt just fuels the enabling.. Help.. any suggestions, advice??
My 14-year-old is going to be a mother-in-law (so funny) if you google it and 11-year-old daughter
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My 14yr old daughter asked me to please go to my gab board for advice.
Late Sunday nite her head started itching for no apparent reason.  It has now progressed to different areas of her body.  First her hands and feet, then her stomach and back, sometimes her legs.  At first I saw no signs of a rash or even any redness.  No once she begins scratching she will have big patches of red with little tiny bumps.  She doesn't have hives.  She takes benadryl but it makes her so sleepy she can hardly function.  She is using Aveeno cream in certain areas but can't put that in her hair.  We have changed nothing such as detergent, shampoo, or body wash.  No new perfumes or anything.  She has been taking minocycline for about 2-3 weeks and one minor side effect is hives, but like I said these are not hives.  I started her on Claritin today just in case it is some sort of allergy.  I haven't called the doctor yet becuase it is hard to go into all these details without being interuppted.  Anyone have any ideas? Thanks
I need advice. Daughter received a frantic call from a friend, sm

Her friend is at a local sleepaway camp at a local university this week.  My daughter is 18, her friend is 17.  Anyway, the friend called my daughter telling her she had unprotected sex over the weekend (once) with her 17-year-old boyfriend (they claim it was the first time for each).  Anyway, the friend wanted my daughter to pick her up so that she could get a morning after pill.  I looked it up on line and anyone under 17 needs a prescription.  My daughter had come to me, asking me not to tell anyone.  I told her that she should have her friend call her mom.  She said her friend thought her mom would freak out if she found out.  We found a local clinic, but it is only open certain days of the week, and was closed yesterday, so she's going to try again tomorrow.  I've tried to get my daughter to convince her friend to call her mother, that she may freak in the beginning, but parents usually get over it and would want to know. 


My dilemma is that my daughter told me this in confidence, and I want her to continue to be able to come to me with anything, yet I wonder if I should call the girl's mother and tell her that her daughter needs help.  Or, just wait until she goes to the clinic and pray that she isn't pregnant.


Does anyone have some advice?


 


My 8-year-old daughter had the
flu a couple of weeks ago and she took Tamiflu and seemed to get over it pretty quick. Hubby also had it and got prescribed Flumadine b/c it was cheaper and he seemed to take a little longer to get over it, but he is a bigger baby than daughter also!
My 11-year-old daughter
staying with us for a week because her mother is out of state.  She is a close friend with my daughter.  Our family loves her and treats her like one of our own.  Hoping this goes well but not naive enough to think that arguments may not arise with the two of them being together constantly for a week.  There will be a break Saturday night, as she will be staying with her grandmother and returning here the next day.  Just wondering if any of you have any suggestions to possibly prevent any chaos at my house.   lol.  Wish me luck! 
My 16 year old daughter - sm
says that kids often way exaggerate on these places, especially about threatening suicide. That doesn't mean that some of them aren't serious, but probably the majority of them are looking for the drama.

So, while it probably wasn't a "joke" per se, it's also probably not nearly as scary as it sounds. She did the same kind of post at age 14 that I carried around with me while watching for other signs, but her grades stayed up, she showed no signs of cutting off her friends, etc. Just normal teen highs and lows, and time passed and so did that.

My point - Take a breath, calm your nerves, and just be watchful. It'll probably just turn out to be another phase.
16-year-old daughter - need help from all who have gone through this
Just found out that my 16-year-old, good kid, honor student, has been leading a double life for the past two years. I found out through some snooping and confronted her. She fessed up to drinking and smoking but swears no drugs. The times that I thought she was sleeping over at the house of her friends that I knew, she was apparently sleeping at random places with a bunch of other kids that I don't even know, as she feels that this is completely appropriate and was "doing nothing wrong". She swears she has not had sex. She apparently has a lot of guy friends and most of them I don't even know and did not even know existed.

She feels that now that she has come clean, I should be okay with this whole situation and allow her to continue to live her lifestyle that she simply "loves and is unwilling to give up". We have been fighting daily. I have not told her father about this, because he is "european" and would definitely come down hard on her and I don't even know what he would do. She tells me that she will definitely leave if I tell him.

She demands one day a week that she can sleep out whereever she pleases and I should be okay with that. I am not. I am at my wits end. She swears she will leave if I "don't leave her alone".

My rules are simple:

1. Home by curfew (11:30 friday and saturday) and 10 weeknights in the summer (but I don't feel she needs to go out every night and she disagrees).

2. I no longer let her take the care whenever she wants, as I don't trust her.

3. She can socialize with her friends and I will pick her up and drive her within reasonable distance close to home.

4. I can even learn to live with the drinking, as long as she gets home safe by my picking her up or having a safe ride home.

5. I don't want her sleeping out any more.

She is fighting me tooth and nail and is swearing she will leave the house if I don't "leave her alone".

We used to get along so well or so I thought, and now I find out she is a complete stranger and not at all the daughter I thought I had.

I am so depressed and don't know what to do. I don't want to have to tell my husband, but she is leaving me no choice but I am scared to death that she will leave. The worst part is that she knows my fear and is using it to get to me.

I desperately need some good sound advice.

Thanks and sorry so long.
I have a 13-year-old daughter myself
And as long as it was during the day, I was home, and she stayed where I could see them I wouldn't have a problem with the boys being at the house.

As for the pizza, trust your gut. I do let my daughter go to the pizza place in our town, but we live in a very small town, and I only let her go with her brothers (14&15) or with another girlfriend and I put a time limit on it.

It is something that girls her age are allowed to do, unfortunately, to many of them have no limitations at all. Only you know how far you can trust your daughter.
I have a 14 year old daughter also
Thankfully right now she doesn't have any boyfriends, although there are boys in the neighborhood who are friends that we've know for 13 years that she'll meet up with when the weather's decent and everyone is outside. She has amazing friends who come from good families and I trust her and them. I guess you just have to trust your children and decide how much leeway you feel you can give them. There are a couple of younger girls in the neighorhood that hang out with a whole group of older boys and just walk the streets. Those are the ones I'd worry about.

Just this past year we've been letting her go to the mall with her friends alone and she has started going to parties, but she always has to go in a group and come home at a decent hour.
My daughter had it over a year ago and
she is still suffering side effects. You do not get over it in 4 weeks.
P.S. I have a beautiful 8-year-old daughter from it all. nm
xx
My 16-year-old daughter smoking

I have known for about a year that my daughter has been smoking from time to time.  I made it very clear to her that this was very unacceptable and absolutely would not be tolerated. 


Apparently she has done a very good job at hiding it.  Tonight when I was putting socks into her sock drawer, for some reason I decided to push aside her socks and, of course, I found a cigarette, but the filter had been cut off.  I also saw several filters that had been cut off in her drawer.  I asked her about it a little bit ago and naturally she stormed upstairs and wouldn't discuss it with me.  This may sound incredibly naive, but I really don't know why the filters were cut off?  Maybe to make the cigarette stronger?  This thought makes me sick to my stomach. 


I am at a loss here.  She is a pretty good girl, an honor roll student, has lots of friends, but still loves to spend time with her family.  I have grounded her in the past for this, but apparently that didn't get my point across.  I would love to hear from parents with teenagers who have been through this before and have suggestions on how to deal with this.  Also, I'm almost afraid to ask, but any ideas why the filters were cut off the cigarettes? 


 


My daughter had these last year on her shoulders
I got ointment with aloe in it for burns that had also lidocaine and put loose gauze over top.  The blister will pop on its own.  It will probably be sore once it pops, so keep it covered with the gauze.  I added the ointment to take away the sting.  It will not hurt so much if you get the ointment.  I covered them so they wouldn't get infected and "smart" while she slept. 
There are 4-5 a year at my daughter's HS. It's become commonplace.

We live in a moderate-sized town outside Seattle.  Usually the threats are phoned in; I don't know if there's ever been a note.  Evacuation, police, dogs.... one time they stood around in a rain/hailstorm for over 2 hours while the school (7 buildings on her HS campus) was searched.  She and a friend looked around the field where everyone was corralled and said, "gee, if someone was really going to plant a bomb, they'd put it here." 


What can you do?  If the police search the school and give the all-clear, I say send him back in.  It's a miserable decision to have to make either way.  Just my $0.02.


Personally, I have an 18-year-old daughter
and no way would I have let her brother's friend move in with us. There is too much temptation even if they are like brother and sister to start with. Also, I agree with other poster, it is not right to limit your daughter's social life with her friends because of an 18yo boy living in your house.
I have a 17 year old daughter, a senior.
She actually doesn't ask to be out during the school week. She's in drama club and working on college applications and homework. If she did ask, I think as long as her homework was done I'd probably let her be out until about 9:00. Her bedtime isn't until 11, but she needs the wind-down time. Weekends, it's midnight.
My daughter graduated last year
And she took a class that taught cooking, sewing, finances, etc. She knows how to sew better than I do! I guess it just depends on the school maybe?
Dear 34-year-old daughter
I call because I am lonely.  It is really quiet with all you kids gone and someday soon, when your 3 are grown, you will know too, and then you will call nonstop.  That is just what we do.  Yes, I do call your brothers and sister when I am lonely also, but your right, you are closer and more convienent.  Sorry about the wallpaper....once again, I am lonely and needed help.  Deep down, you know I care and I am not trying to be critical of you.  My intent is there, maybe my approach is wrong.  Someday though...you will reach for that phone 3 times a day and it will not be me on the other end, enjoy it while it lasts.
Poll time... if your 15-year-old daughter....sm

has a paper due at school that was assigned a week ago, she procrastinated and didn't start writing it until the afternoon before the due date and didn't type it up until 11 p.m. at night, then knocked on your door to wake you up because she realized there was no printer printer would you:


A.  Get dressed and go to the 24-hour Wal-Mart to get paper.


B.  Tell her that it's too bad- she should have done her paper sooner than this and alerted you before 11 p.m. that there was no printer paper - especially when she has gone through a whole ream within a month printing out things like rock band and television star photos and other nonessential things.


(For the record - my husband & I did option B to help her learn a "life lesson" last night - she'll get a reduced grade for turning in the paper late but hopefully she'll learn to stop procrastinating on her school work - which is a chronic problem with her - even with her getting A's and B's.)


No, that is her daughter. This is her 19-year-old son. Looking for link. Will post.
Be right back.
latest update on 16-year-old daughter.
Well, I did it. I told my husband. He had a good stern talking with her about how what she is doing is not good and will not be tolerated, and told her that the rules were expected to be abided by. He grounded her for 2 weeks and we took away her license and car keys. She is beside herself and of course hates me more than anything because I betrayed her to her dad. Go figure. Anyway, now she states that there is no way she will stay in this house and will just run away. Or she will get a job and as soon as she can get some money together, she will emancipate herself from us. My husband told her that if she runs away, the next step will be something like military school. What a mess. He says we have to be tough or she won't get the message. This is so hard for me. I feel like I lost her. She wants nothing to do with me. I just hope and pray that someday she will understand that I did what I think is best for her.

At least now he knows and he can help me handle it. If she does run away, at least now he knows. I told her I love her more than life and I am doing this for her own good. She just reiterated how much she hates me.(sigh)

Thanks for all the good advice everyone. Please pray for me and my daughter. I never thought being a parent could be this hard.
I have an 18-year-old daughter and we charge her rent...

I think it teaches them responsibility and what the "real" world is like, there is not a free ride and to be accountable.  The rent we charge does include groceries, cell phone, etc.  She just pays my husband and I a lump sum at the beginning of the month and it covers all expenses at home.  She buys her own clothes, make-up, personal items and even helps with her college expenses at the local community college.  I think it's a great idea! 


Need advice on a good, adjustable chair for typing. Any advice? nm
nm
Daughter's phone is daughter's responsibility. Valuable lesson learned.
It should be between the daughter and the friend if the friend is going to pay any of the fees. They are teenagers, not preschoolers.
Bigger issue - a 16 year old living withi a 29 year old and liability
Are you still not responsible for him until he is 18, how can he tell you where he will live?  Unless he emancipates himself and he does something wrong, can they go against you since you are his mother and legally responsible for him?  I worry more about him living with a 29 year old sister rather than returning a house key to me that is a bigger issue.
Won $2,000 on slot machine on New Year's Eve. What a way to start the year. nm
!
Set my budget a year in advance, save all year and
nm
What a difference a year makes! Last year, sm
we had the same problem.  Fines everywhere for watering.
Paid $60,000 on principal last year and this year
planning on another $30,000 after my taxes paid for the year. We are getting our house paid down very quickly.
55-year old woman has birthday sex with 12-year old

DAYTON - Gloria Murphy gave children celebrating her 55th birthday alcohol and then had sex with a 12-year-old boy at the party on Thursday, Jan. 29, according to police.


The boy got into Murphy’s bed at 5440 Rawlings Drive, where the married woman had sex with her adolescent neighbor, according to police and Montgomery County prosecutors. 


Two of the children at the party ran home at about 6 a.m. Jan. 30 and told a parent they saw the boy and woman having sex, according to 911 audio.


The parent then called police at about 6:15 a.m., according to a police report and 911 audio.


Murphy did not force the boy to have sex, but since he is younger than 13, it is considered rape, Lt. Patrick Welsh said. No other children were involved in the sexual encounter, but some other children at the party consumed alcohol, according to police.


I agree - a mother is a mother and a daughter is a daughter for life sm
despite the problems they had, which i truly believe stem for anna's drug problems. obviously her mom wasn't too bad or she would not have raised daniel for a while. i think the mother wants her buried in Texas so the grave will be close enough that she can go visit it without having to come up with expenses of going to the bahamas to get there. although i contradict that too in poor anna needs to be buried with her son.
A 17-year-old would have the same goals as a 20 year old (sm)
Only the 20 year old is hopefully more responsible and based on what you say about his character, would be a better choice than someone her own age.
I have a 9-year-old son that sounds just like your 10 year old...
Lately he has been so negative about everything...trying to make him have a good summer and whenever I take him somewhere, he is just a brat when we get home...I think they are called tweens at this age...not quite teenagers but have the attitude like one---LOL
We skipped it entirely last year, and THIS year?

This 40-year-old got dumped for a 30-year-old
http://www.gqmagazine.co.uk/CoolNewStuff/Photos.aspx?StoryID=53859
This year will be our 35th year
The first couple years it was literally 5 or 6 times a day every day (more on the weekends). Over time it gradually slowed down (once a day) and over the past few years its been 2 or 3 times a week. Not sure that is average or not. There were times were I felt it was too much and him not enough, then there were times where I wanted it more and he didn't. Guess everyone goes through a phase. I guess because of how long we've been together, now it's just comfortable - nothing exciting about it. Just a routine. I have to make it exciting in my mind and pretend I'm someone else.

I don't know what it is, but you are correct...after awhile the lust and infatuation wears off and you get in a routine. I guess for us it was that we really didn't know each other when we married (we dated for 3 weeks then eloped). Once I got to know him it was too late. Now 35 years later it is just comfort (and amazingly we never once used birth control and never had any kids). My mom still tells me she's amazed at the frequency of our encounters that not even once did I even have a "close call" with getting pregnant.

But 35 years once or twice a week and 3 or 4 times on weekends. Not sure if that is normal.
Re: Advice

I am a new mom to a beautiful baby girl. I didn't think I would mind going to work part-time. Well, I've been crying my self to sleep every night. I have my B.A. in Business Administration and have been in the banking industry for 6 years. I have been searching all over for a legitimate work at home opportunity. It seems like medical transcription is a great opportunity. I'd like advice from people who do this from home. I'd like to know where you got the training and what your first job was (since that seems to be a big issue). Also, will my B.A. help at all? I know employers like people with MT experience but I accquired other skills such as meticulous attention to detail that I know is needed. Any and all information is greatly appreciated. Thank you.


Please see Main board for all transcription-related topics.  This message has been moved to Main.


advice
I do have to say that unless you already have an "in" it is difficult to find a job. Most places won't hire you if you don't have at least two years experience but you can't get experience unless someone hires you. You don't necessarily have to get certified right away just take an accredited program that is specifically for medical transcription. Once your done with school just keep trying, don't give up and try to take your time and ace the preemployment tests. If you do really well some places will give you an offer even if you don't have experience. Take the first job you can get because even if it doesn't pay well you are still gaining experience and it will make it easier for you to get a new job.
Cat advice please....

I have a kitten who is appx. 7 months old. He refuses to eat any kind of cat food, canned, dry, dry mixed with canned, dry mixed with water, cat treats, etc. I have tried baby food, dog food, etc. He will only eat KMR weaning powder, which I mix with water. Have tried to mix food into it but he will not eat it. He tries to cover everything up like it should be in the cat box! No vet seems to concerned about this...he likes to eat chicken, people food chicken that is, and turkey. I am stumped.


This cat MUST learn to eat before May because I am going on vacation for 3-1/2 weeks...any suggestions for this problem?


Thanks for the advice....sm
I will give each a try! I hate to leave him while on vacation, but have no other choice. And the only reason it is for so long is because I don't fly and my DH and I are driving cross country to see family...I'm sure he will be fine, but no kids at home anymore so they are my babies! It's nice to have people to bounce ideas off of!
I thank you all for your advice - I am
an animal lover, have 2 cats, 2 dogs. Love feeding the birds outside. I can't help feeling betrayed by these outside creatures that probably fill their bellies at my bird feeders and have now started war on my house. I guess I will start off with putting some Dcon in the attic - as much as I hate to kill them, I don't want my house chewed apart either. I just hope they don't die and rot someplace where I can smell them.

My cats were going crazy last night and spent much of the night gazing up at the ceiling in my bedroom with their mouths watering. I hope at least tonight the invader picks another part of the house to snack and dig so I can get some sleep.

Thanks again for the advice.

And Hayseed - I agree that Indian is a little un-PC, so are some of the ones with the smiley faces shooting at each other, but they're pretty funny (I guess unless you're Indian)!
Re: Looking for advice

Thanks, that was very helpful! I'm sorry about the info overload, I guess I just wasn't sure exactly where to begin asking. I think I'll just get the basic foot pedal, upgraded computer, headphones etc. and get some finanicing for the "extras" that may come up and take the plunge.


My advice to you is
Get yourself the book - think it is called Co-Dependent No More and get yourself to a support group ASAP - not sure what they are called - but if someone here does not tell you then call AA yourself and find out the name of the support group for spouses, family, etc.  AND if you don't find a supportive support group - hunt around until you do - DO NOT GIVE UP.   Help yourself to understand this disease/disorder and get help for yourself and then you can help him through this process also.  Thank goodness you do not have children and good for you for asking for help.  E-mail me if you want - lots of alcoholics in my family and would be glad to help you!!  Take care.  Will be praying for  you.
This is THE best advice yet. I always will take on sm
10-year-old son's friends, especially when they say rude things. I'll say, "excuse me, what did you just say? Well, we do not talk like that in this house." And I promise you, they either stop coming around or they are VERY polite around me. If they do slip and say something rude they will immediately cover their mouths and say I'm sorry while looking at me. I do scare them a bit, I suppose. But I show them my authority and that I will not stand for that kind of nonsense and then they stop.

If they did that to me I would have immediately turned around and said, "what did you just say?" And then I'd tell a little white lie and say, "I know exactly who you 2 are" (and I'd say it so convincingly) and then say, "It looks like a call into your mother and father is in order today." Have a nice day, guys."


Thanks for the advice
I am assuming he did it sometime on Sunday. He came limping to the house on Monday morning and there was no sign of blood, no fresh blood or no old blood. It doesn't appear to be infected at all. Now that the flap is gone, I don't see any open areas at all. No swelling or redness and it is not touchy at all. He lets me manipulate it and even squeeze his paw so I don't think there is any infection there. I guess we are really bad - but no vets bills unless absolutely no other alternative!
Need advice about how to get what I want done
Okay here goes I can handle a department but when it comes to cleaning my home I have problems getting across what I want or maybe I am too nice. Tell me what you think please!!!
My home is 1st /2nd floor with a basement (laundry /storage). I want them to thoroughly clean the kitchen (any dishes, counters, stove, fridge sweep mop etc) clean all three bathrooms(completely), dust living room, dining room, and hallways. Tidy guest bedroom (you know dust vacuum). I do not want them to clean anyof the childrens rooms or mine or touch my office. I want all door sills wiped/dusted and ceiling fans and lamps cleaned and about the windows divided out so that they are cleaned at least once a month my kids have to clean theirs weekly. I am prepared to pay $100 to $120 a visit and want them in one a week or every other week which ever works better for them so that it stays decent and can be completed within a 3-5 hour time range. I have to be home when they do it because my dog will not allow it otherwise.

My problem is this I was told what I was asking was not over and above and that I was paying an extremely fair wage since the area they are actually cleaning is less than have the square footage. No work in the basement, only hallway and to small bathrooms on the second floor and all of the first floor. A couple of companies I tried were horrible right off the bat and were not asked back. The individuals seemed to work the best but after a month or two the work was being half done and I would have to go behind them checking. I do not have time for this and I do tip usually about $20 a visit. How do you get them to do everything you want. Should I be totally anal and make a check list and if it is not done subtract from their next visit???(husbands suggestion). I just want it done right I am willing to pay good money so that I can spend my free time with my kids and my husband not scrubing toilets and windows.

Thanks I appreciate any advice
Thanks for the advice- however I do not believe
she is depressed, has loads of things to keep her busy. She basically hurt my feelings when she broke her hip last year and I asked what she would like, pears so I got those, knowing she loved chocolate, got some of that and got some flowers. Oh, I had overdone it, too much. I do not remember her saying anyone else had overdone something. I am not going to say anything but that still does not justify running down something I basically went out of my way to provide for her. I only wish I had a son or daughter either 1 that I could count on like she can with me. Oh, well, guess I will just stop trying to be so kind and keep more to myself.
Thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it.
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