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After 2000 when I married my hubby, he

Posted By: Katie on 2007-02-23
In Reply to: You wish,,,, ROFL. You can say anything - on this board cause you don't have to prove it.

first bought me a 2002 and then last year a 2006. I am so spoiled. Keep working hard and like I said, one day maybe your dreams can come true. Mine have. All my wishes have come true. Don’t hate because you are poor!


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To all you married moms with kids and hubby at home,

do you ever dream about living by yourself?  Not just with no kids, but with no hubby either?  I love my family, but when I feel overwhelmed, when life gets too stressful, I can't help but think how peaceful that kind of life would be, with just myself to take care of.  Of course I know in my heart that if I was by myself I would be bored and lonely, but right now it sounds really good!  It has been one of those days...


I'm 20 months older than my hubby, married 23 years so far! -nm
x
I remarried in 2000 and was asked
why we did not marry in the state where we live, my daughter saying she would not be able to attend. I told her she didn’t come to the first one. The hubby is very shy and first marriage for him and he just wanted as few as we could get. It was so nice and really economical and stll going tremendously strong after 7 years!
They cheated in 2000 -admitted it

I did not know until today.  Both CNN and FOX reported that a Chinese gymnast who won a bronze in 2000 admitted later on she was only 14 at the time, but the govt falsified her records to make her age 16. One of the girls on the team this year looks about 10 years old. I will not make excuses for the USA girls, but at least they won the silver without breaking the rules.


What bothers me the most is in hearing how several teams had gymnasts who were better skilled, yet they had to choose other athletes "of age" to not break the rules. Fair is fair. If the Chinese are cheating, everyone acts like there is nothing that can be done. Well, why not?  Not to be funny, but I think it is only common sense to think that a girl who is not yet developed and has no figure yet can handle a balance beam easier than a girl with curves. Same thing happens in figure skating.  Okay, now I am getting on a tangent.  Sorry, the Chinese girls were awesome to watch, but everyone should have to follow the rules... makes me wonder what the deal is.


Ever notice that if you do 2000-3000 lines a day...sm
that people don't want to believe you? I transcribe 2800-3000 lines a day in an 8 hour shift, 65 character line. I've been in the business 27 years, type 150 wpm and pretty much keep up with the dictators speed. Some folks try to accuse me of sneaking in lines outside of my shift to make myself look good... but these are people that typically type 60-80 wpm, stop every few minutes to take care of kids, neighbors deliveries, etc. and wonder why they can't meet minimum production standards.
Free Nestle Crunch Crisp bar (2000 coupons given out daily)
http://www.playinyourday.com/
I married the same man 3 times and still married to him.
Together for almost 29 years now.
My ex-hubby had it done.
He wasn't too keen on the idea either. He confided later that it was goofy stuff that bothered him--like what happens if there's an earthquake while he's on the table?

Anyway, he was tender for a day or two, but some Tylenol took care of it.

Actually I ended up having a tubal ligation done after we split up. That was pretty easy, too. They did it with a laparoscope, and used silicone squeeze clips on the tubes rather than cutting them. Easy peasy.
My hubby had one at about 46.
DH had anterior cervical laminectomy 2-3 years ago.
It was scary for me, and it was the only time they kept him overnight. They sent him home after rotator cuff and (of course) knee arthroscopy. The bad thing about Friday surgery is that the office isn't open if you have a question that doesn't seem like enough of an emergency to call about. They made DH a hard cervical collar ahead of time. Be sure they give you 2 sets of the cushion inserts for the collar, because you will want to be able to wash and air-dry one, but not have her without one. Do ask about whether she is to sleep with the collar on. Because DH had a plate put in, after the fact we were told that supposedly the collar was just to remind him to be careful, but he was sleeping with it on for about a week, I guess. Getting up and down out of bed was scary, especially because he wanted to sleep on his side. Very scary to get into that position, but once he was in it he could finally sleep. I was appalled how apneic he sounded at night. He always has a little problem, but with the collar on he was having pretty long pauses. He is a big guy and at risk for that anyway. The scariest thing for me when DH had this and the shoulder surgery is that he is 6 foot 2 inches and big. Me? 5 foot 6 inches and average weight. Thank goodness his mom was there for the shoulder surgery, but I think we did it alone for the neck surgery AFTER he stayed one night in the hospital. Oh, and because of the anterior approach, swallowing was hard for quite a while. Speech also was affected, maybe it was with hoarseness? Can't remember. Due to swelling, his throat was not totally normal again for 6 months after surgery.
You might rather be fat but my hubby
cooked some brown rice yesterday with garlic, red and green peppers, Kokoman sauce and other ingredients he just throws together. This was along with some turkey wings with a sauce that I spooned on the rice and cabbage with peppercorns. I cannot find a restaurant that can come close to his cooking. He never tastes and always hopes that I like it. I am 1 lucky girl. He is very mindful of eating healthy and we very seldom have red meat, once in a great while but his lemon chickens, marinated meats and other things make me really disappointed to eat out and then have inferior food. He says I can do the same. No thanks..... I will not shame myself. When he is gone from home (he drives and away) he fixes salads with his own dressings and OMG, I am just sitting here with a smile on my face. I am sure no one can compare with his foods!!
Hubby
I wonder if he is not looking.  One of my daughter’s friends is having a birthday party Sunday.  His mother drove by our house to drop off an invitation.  We both talked for a while.  She is a really an attractive lady.  She looks like she could probably model swimsuits.  Anyway, she had invited me to go jogging with her because I mentioned I was interested in getting into an exercise program.  I am 60 pounds overweight.  I also mentioned job burnout and told her I had been thinking about getting out of MT and the medical profession totally and going into something else. She told me that there maybe some job openings at the company she works at because they are expanding.  She is also the supervisor of the collections/credit department there and told me of all the wonder benefits the company offers and told me that if I decided I wanted a change, she would put in a good word for me.   Later I told H that she was nice.  DH said, “I think she wants me (him)”  I told him he was full of himself. Bad part is, 8 years ago I would have been jealous but now if he did run off with someone else, I think the sweetest revenge for me would be to let the woman keep him and give her full custody of MIL.
hubby
May be you 2 need to spice things up again. Like go out on dates, etc... It sounds like alot of your gyn issues could be effecting the way you look at sex. I would definitely talk to someone about it. May be there is a pill you can take!! :)
My hubby had 1 and did not like
He is a really neat guy and took so much time just cleaning after 1 use. I know some just use time and time again without cleaning but that is just not him, wants his spic and span each and every time.
I have used, my hubby believe it or not
was able to pull off an entire hair 1 time like that. It is really good for sparse hair and it does cover, comes in all colors and different sizes. He was going to a hatless place (because of his hair loss, he wears his hat all the time) but used that day and no one knew. Great stuff!
What would I do without hubby.
I feel guilty, but I didn't think I'd still be working at this age. My mom was a housewife, even though she had a college degree.
ex-hubby

That's funny - I did the same thing, although my son had NO contact with his father from the time he was 3.  When he was getting married, (at 26),  I asked him if he wanted me to contact his father.  He said his "real" father would be there (my now husband who raised him) and that he didn't want some guy who with one squirt was labeled his "father" to be part of his life.


Afterwards, when he called and wanted to contact my son, I got his phone # and told him I'd have my son contact him if he wanted to.  My son wouldn't even let me give him the phone #.  Another bunch of time went by and he called again - how he keeps getting my phone number is behond me - first he found me in Connecticut, then Colorado and then Texas (he's in NY).  This time he accused me of not giving his phone # to my son and I said I tried, but he didn't want it.  He didn't believe me, of course, but I then got rid of my regular phone and got Vonage and I haven't heard from him since.  But Ive never been sorry that it worked out this way.  Serves him right for being a lousy father.


hubby
ONe thing i have learned is men ALWAYS think it is greener on the other side and come crying back because its not. So what if you have gained weight I am sure he has to. Do you believe he is being faithful to you? Maybe this is his way of feeling guilty for something he did while traveling. Try counseling. It worked for us. We all need to leave our hubbys for a week with the kids and ALL our jobs and let them see how tuff it really is. They feel since we work at home we have the freedom to do everything with time left over!! COME ON! I wish you lots of luck. I would tell him if you really loved me you would deal with me the way that I am. Yes I can try to change but is that really the root of the problem here. Sounds like an excuse! Sorry, but being organized and gaining weight should have nothing to do with if he still loves you or not. Tell him didn't he take the same vows as you did "Till death do us part"
My hubby is
incredibly wonderful. We will be married 20 years in October. We renewed our vows at 10 years (Just the 2 of us at a small chapel, well of corse a minister) and for 20 years the children want to be with us. There is a running joke in my family....My parents say that if we ever divorce, he can come "home".
hubby
ago and demanded my husband see his doctor.  He went on Prozac and things were oh, so much better for a long, long time.  Now he is off the Prozac, as he was tired of the side effects.  We are back to the same crap as before, and I am so weary of it.  I don't know what to do.  I'm praying for wisdom.  He just seems like he hates us all, that we are nothing but a pain in the a$$, and we all tread lightly because of his garbage.  Unfair.  Hugs to you.
That's where I'm from too, and hubby
was born in WV, but his dad moved them to Indiana when my hubby was very little. DH's dad was the first one in the family not to be a coal miner.

Hubby is a big packer fan, which sure makes my dad happy. The Packers are the only team I'll watch. Brett is adorable. I'm glad he has a super wife (since I can't have him :o>).


your hubby
I feel for you... and the signs seem pretty classic from here suggesting that he most likely has another lady. Cell phones may not work "out there" but somewhere along the way he eats, drinks, sleeps, etc and there are pay phones if nothing else. Your acceptance of his excuses give him the room to do as he pleases and his beating you down keeps you from thinking straight/catching him in his own game. Sounds like you need to dry those eyes and open them to take a good look at reality - then deal. It hurts and bites, but until you deal, nothing changes. If you really want to teach your kids about better relationships, show them the strength to stand for what is true and right.
How old is your hubby?
Mine's in his mid 50s. We had the same problem. Doc took a blood test and found very, very low testosterone, put him on replacement, and a month later he's got energy again! not just for sex, either, but work, yard work, repairs. Wonderful stuff, that, if it's used right!
My hubby and I...
still have long, passionate kisses...our kids complain all the time about it...*Geez Mom, Dad...that's sooo gross* We are always touching when we are together, whether it's holding hands, arms around each other, or just my/his hand on his/my leg...you have to keep the fire going or it will most certainly fade!
your hubby/his son

Just wondering what kind of "help" you were asking for from your FIL? 


I know you were frustrated but just because he had not yet gotten hold of you doesn't mean he wasn't working something out to be able to help his son. 


I remember once my aunt wrote a letter to my grandpa about how she thought he showed a preference for her brother and how upset she was about it.  (She had seen her brother at my grandparents' house on a holiday and was so resentful that she had not also been invited.)  My grandpa was so hurt by the letter.  My aunt had assumed something happened that did not (the brother had just dropped by for an impromptu visit).  She let her emotions carry her away, and really hurt her father. 


It sounds like part of you might be blaming your FIL for your husband's behavior.  That's not good.  Your husband has to take full responsibility for his actions and you need to stop making excuses.  I have a bipolar brother.  He has been battling his problem for 15 years.  Sometimes he tries to take his medications and make progress in his life and sometimes he sits and whines about how bad off things are and wants everybody to cater to him.  Guess when he gets the best response from his family?  Even though your husband has a mental illness, he is still responsible for getting treatment and not making the lives of everyone around him miserable. 


If your FIL wants to help his other son, whether or not you think the guy should be hung from the highest tree or not, that is your FIL's decision. 


Hubby and I do EVERYTHING sm
around here including remodeling. The only thing I hire out is twice a year I have someone come in and do the heavy spring cleaning because I have some medical problems that keep me from doing it. I can type three hours and pay for it. Matter of fact tomorrow is the day! YEAH.

I would love to be able to afford someone to do alot more of it but can't and hubby wouldn't let somebody else do it if we could afford it! Too picky!
Married?
I get the idea this guy might possibly be married and living with his wife in another city. If you continue to see him, 2 months is no time to clamp down on him to ask him about where the relationship is going. You sound as if the situation desperate. If not married on his part (I probably would check this out really good)you give a man plenty of rope. If they care for you, they will be there like a little puppy dog, if not then you have your answer. Again check for a license.....Living in another city, seeing you once a week, sounds really like a hmmmmmmm to me.
Are we married to the same man?...sm
Im stuck in the same situation pretty much.  My husband does very little to help me in any way, shape, or form except when it suits him.  I do the bills, most of the housework (he occasionally puts up dishes and sweeps the kitchen), all the child care (for 3), make all the phone calls, etc., everything.  When I want to go somewhere there is always a big deal made...when he wants to go somewhere (even when I NEED him here so I can work if I get behind) he will go.  I almost NEVER get out of the house without one or all children (if I get out)...when HE wants to go somewhere he does not want any of them to come.  I think those so wondeful marriages are few.  All I think about is leaving, but the kids....they love him.  You cant work with someone when they wont work with you.
did she know how he was before she married him?
nm
I think we are married to the same man!!
Not only does my husband blow EVERYTHING way out of proportion, but he suffers from narcissistic personality disorder! I lie to my husband anytime there is an issue that I know will really upset him and his own mother backs me up b/c she knows how enraged he becomes. I too feel guilty but having peace in my home is far more important to me. He definately needs some counseling and probably a good anti-depressant. I think the tape recording idea is excellent and I have always wanted to try it myself. Maybe if we let them see how ridiculous they sound they will wake up to their behavior. I feel for you b/c I have been in the same boat for 9 years now. I just keep praying and keeping the faith that one day he will change.....before I have a nervous breakdown!!
Very much married but ....
my eyes know beauty when I see it!
We had 2 --- they were my DHs before we married - sm
The one was a pure-bred with champion lines, the other a puppy mill dog. As stated below they can live very long. The PB lived to about 14 before she got cancer and we put her to sleep when she got too sick; the other was 16 before she got sick too and had to be put to sleep when she got too sick too. The first one was a bit mean though, fine with adults but did not like kids to mess with her and would bite/nip if a kid got to close; luckily she never made contact but not for lack of trying. We had to muzzle her at the vet. Great watchdog though. The other one was quite a yapper and dumb as a stick but quite a sweet dog and very loving, ate everything in sight though and she ended up quite porky. Sweet dog though. They are good dogs and I would not mind having another some day.
If you are not married I don't think you can do that - sm
though I am not sure about that, but it makes sense. He could add any kids they had but not the ex-wife. (he would have to lie and say they were married I believe) Also if for some reason his job pays for it then he is getting off scot free, though there are probably not many jobs that pay for it in full now days (my DHs used to pay for it until about 2 years ago, and now we pay but only about $150 a month for a family of 4, so it is a steal, and very good insurance luckily). Personally I would not do it, he should just try to pony up and pay a little more each month to get current again (get a second job if he has to); $1K is not that far behind, what 2 months maybe? He can just work a little harder to pay her.
You married her son, right?
Then apparently her way of bringing up a child did not harm him, is that true or did you marry some dunce? I guess she might have a little sense- you have to re-educate her?
was it like this when you first married...
nm
but most of these are not actually married sm
The man usually only marries the first wife and the rest are not legal marriages.
yep...got married.
sheezh
Where did you get married?

A church, city hall, a park, on a beach, on a sailboat, a private home, a cabin in the woods, other? Was it in the U.S. or a foreign country?


I got married (eloped) in a chapel. It had 4 pews in it. Made in the U.S.A.


We got married
in the country by my husband's nephew's backyard pond. It was beautiful. I walked down on a long white aisle runner and stood under a decorated trellis. Wouldn't have traded an outdoor wedding for the world.
had to be married twice the same day.
Married at a beautiful,famous restaurant in the state of Kentucky. Lived in Cincinnati, Ohio, which is right across the bridge from Kentucky. At the last minute the rabbi said "I can't marry you there, I am not a licensed Rabbi in the state of Kentucky. We were married legally early in the morning at 8:00 am at the rabbi's house in Cincinnati where he was licensed as a rabbi, in his flannel shirt, his wife in her housecoat to witness the wedding, my hair had not been done yet by the hairdresser and was standing on end, so much for the groom seeing the bride 24 hours prior. At 12:00 noon the wedding progessed in Kentucky with 350 guests and 32 yards of chantilly lace in my gown, but we were already married. The ceremony was for show only.
I was married at 17 and had her...
and she was married at 17 and had the first of my grandchildren. I am now 48 and have 7 of them....all is well and it's true, grandkids ARE better than your own! You can send them home when you are done spoiling them. BTW, both my daughters are done having kids, so that's it for me!
When I was married, my ex said..
...he was glad I didn't call all the time like some of the other men's wives did where he worked.  We worked similar hours so I really didn't have the opportunity and neither did he to be on a telephone.  When we separated though, he brought up the fact that I never called him and didn't sound interested the rare instance when he called me.  Go Figure!  I called if there was something that simply wouldn't wait until he got home and vice versa!   I've never used the telephone like lots of people, even as a teenager.  Do better with letters and cards, dinosaur that I am, and love email.  My daughter lives about 1-1/2 hours away.  She and I went on a short 3-day vacation when she and her fiance were engaged.  He called 3-4 times a day and I became pretty irritated, even though I tried not to show it.  I try to leave them alone to live their life and wish he would let us enjoy each other once in a while.  She and my granddaughter came one evening to my house recently and we went to dinner and a gymnastics meet.  They were here about 5 hours total and he called 3 times during that time!!  Feels like he does not trust her.  
mostly yes (still married now x27 yr)
Would you ever date/marry.....

someone who is less educated than yourself?
I did. I had 2 yr of college, husband left school in 8th grade (to professional sport).

someone of a different race?
I've dated people of several different races. If all else was right, probably would.

someone whose parent's are divorced?
depends upon the sticktuitiveness of the person, and their moral compass.

someone who has bad credit or alot of bad debt?
Probably not, unless there were good explanations.

someone who is overweight or obese?
yes.

someone who affliates or supports a different political party than yourself?
Yes.

someone who is rude to customer service staff?
My husband was often rude and arrogant. Its not a good quality, but he has changed and so, I might do it again (if I were younger).


someone who talks a longtime on their cell phone when you are eating?
Probably not. That kind of inconsideration may be too hard to change.

someone who enjoys a different genre of music?
yes, mate does now.

someone who does not enjoy the same leisure activities as yourself?
yes, you don't have to do everything together. If you have the same morals, life goals, and some things you enjoy together, that would be sufficient.

someone who is a very picky eater or someone who is a vegeterian/vegan and you are not?
yes.

someone who prefers to spend leisure time alone or with friends (without you)?
Maybe not, unless it was a lesser part of of lesisure time spent away from me.
.....

not married but
met my fiance at a yard sale!
I was married outside the
Catholic church, and then later had my marriage sanctioned by my priest, after returning to the Catholic church. No problem. Does not matter where or if you were married at a different church first. My husband, who is not Catholic, just had to agree to raise our children Catholic. I would recommend your daughter and her Fiance consult a different priest at a neighboring parish, or possibly even contact your Diocese and express your concerns to the Bishop. I bet this would not be the first complaint on this priest. What this priest is asking of them them is not typical or normal of the Catholic Church. Sounds like he is on a power trip. Good luck!

bern
I have been with hubby 23 years....
and you have got to love them for trying, not that their timing is the best. Mine I would have just looked at him, laughed and said "find something better to do at the moment" and then tackle him later. I think they just like a little extra attention. LOL
Hugs to you and your hubby!!
My best friend had a miscarriage in 1994 and she still gets a little emotional when she talks about, even though she went on to have 2 healthy daughters.
Is your hubby active?
What I mean is he involved in outside interests clubs,volunteer ,maybe a hobby? I know a lot of yall here are still working fulltime, but there will come that day when you and hubby will be together all day side by side!! just wish mine would find an outside interest but he finds something wrong with any suggestion so I have quit saying anything he loves to stay at home.
Hubby obviously has issues
That the two of you can work on/out at a time that is much less stressful, so when situations occur, you're prepared.

If it had been me, at the moment he started screaming and yelling, I would have taken the kids and left the house. I would not have exposed my kids to all that anger, and making excuses for him doesn't make it all right. Yelling at you and the kids is abuse. If he wants to rant and rave by golly, he can do it by himself.

Hubby definitely into supplements and the like
so I will ask him to research about what you have said above and ask him to get for me. I might have said in the first post, the leg pains (only of a night)wake me from sleep. I at 1 time (knocking on wood as I type this) had electrical currents that would shoot up thru my foot- only when I walked and never knew when it was going to happen. These leg pains are deep, deep aching pains and when I wake, cannot find a comfortable position. Is this what your hubby had or similar? Don't know how the antidepressant would work, have never been advised to take but then again, have nothing for the deep aches either. Tell me how he was diagnosed, treatment so far, etc. Thanks.
What has worked with my hubby -
Men want to be fed. They want REAL food. To them, that means meat. I take hubby to Longhorn that night, he orders a big steak, potato, veggies, salad, etc. I also buy him some silk boxers with hearts on them and, well, you can guess the rest! He usually gets me candy and flowers, but he is always very surprised and happy when I do things for him this day. Good luck! :-)
I know my hubby is far too manly to take
bubble baths and neither does he burn candles. I think a lot of the younger men have been femininized. He is a very loving person but very much his own man. I really think you can thank women's lib.