Beth-obviously you've been bitten by the elderly abuse issue
Posted By: but no need to - SM on 2007-02-15
In Reply to: THIS IS CALLED ELDERLY ABUSE - Beth
spew us with your bile. If the woman is lucid, capable of functioning on her own, there is only so much the woman's child(ren) or social services can do UNTIL or IF something negative happens.
From the scenario described in the original post, she hasn't physically put herself at risk, not put herself at financial risk.
U} Here's a beer to help you make it through the day.
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
THIS IS CALLED ELDERLY ABUSE
And the courts see it as this. You can have abuse other than striking a person. Taking advantage, which this is, of a person her age is something that needs to be nipped in the bud not tomorrow but immediately. A person can have an excellent mind, no dementia but are flattered when they think someone is smitten with them. Family and children services know about things like this. She is in a position for the right person to take plenty of advantage of whether it is her money or otherwise.
Dorothy is real big this year as are Beth and Dog Chapman.. nm
.
I was only about 12 when I was bitten,
and I'm still not afraid of snakes. In my new job we actually come across them now and then. We girls gather around and analyze whether we think it's poisonous. If we decide it's not, then I'll be the one to carry it down by the pond ... except the only one we've needed to move so far was bright copper in color, and I never picked up a copperhead-colored snake before, so we called the boss. He carried it without incident.
Have been bitten by reptile.
When we got our first iguana, we did what the pet store told us to - feed her lots of spinach which is a huge no no for iguanas. I never bothered to do much research about their care - we did have a nice aquarium with the right lighting, etc. At one point, I noticed she just didn't seem right. I got her into a vet who had experience with iguanas. She did an X-ray. Spike had developed metabolic bone disease, which means pretty much all of her bones had fractures. It looked horrible on X-ray. They had to keep giving her calcium shots and she stayed in the hospital for awhile. I then did my research and found the proper diet. Spike thrived after that. When we had to move from CT back to Ohio, I decided it was better to find another home for her and Moto, and I did find a good home. We had our guinea pigs to take with us but they didn't require specific lighting and I highly doubted we could rent a house (we rented until we knew the area, then bought our house) with 2 iguanas.
Anyway, an iguana expert told me to let Spike run free in the vet's waiting room if there were no other animals present because she freaked out so bad as soon as we pulled into the vet parking lot. Well, I did that. Then they wanted to see her so I went to pick her up and she shredded my thumb, quick as a rattlesnake. They have upper and lower teeth that are serrated, like a steak knife. I was lucky - lots of iguanas bite and will not let you go. I'm told the only true remedy is getting some kind of hard liquor and pouring a little near their dose, which will force them to open up.
are they just completely bitten off??or holes
adn spots?
completely bitten off - some blooms laying there, like they were cut
I know I don't have deer.
Yeh, just reading where NFL's James Harrison's son was bitten by their family pit today
The child was 6, family dog. Severe facial wounds. The dog will be held 10 days before it is put down. Lovely animals.
Elderly Aunt
Kimmie-
You are being extremely overly sensitive. Your aunt is elderly - have patience. Continue to be kind and forgive her for what you perceive as rudeness. Save the hurt feelings for things that are really important. 
Dipper
I feel that way a lot, too. My mom is ill and elderly
and the thought of losing her just makes me sick. It is so hard to see the decorations and hear the music now. I think of my mom. The financial aspect of it is difficult, too; especially now. When I feel this way I try to think of the real reason we recognize this holiday and that helps.
Elderly care advice you might like
I have noticed sometimes on the posts here people talking about elderly care and places to go. I have been in the same spot before with elderly father and when i saw this thought i would pass it on. Sometimes not knowing where to go, how to get assistance and the like can be overwhelming. This doctor is in our town today and gave this website. I hope it might be helpful to some of my MTers! Here is: www.doctormarion.com
My elderly aunt has just gotten 2 red marks
right under her eyes and she tried to see a physician today but was unable to, any thoughts on what this could be? She says bright red spots under both eyes.
If he's elderly and low income, he needs to check sm
with senior services to see if he qualifies for some type of medical assistance aid.
elderly man/toddler any difference?
Would you leave your toddler unattended with 3 pitbulls? No I don't think so, and neither should an elderly person be left with that many big size dogs no matter what the breed!
My aunt is elderly but her husband used to drink
This was the love of her life and they had a child together. They both worked, lived with her mother to help her out on bills after her husband died and everything except his drinking went ok. After finding him in ditches, getting DUIs, passing out and the like, nothing worked. After probably 20 something years my aunt divorced him because she knew he probably would kill himself, kill someone else or something horrible. It wasn’t that she didn’t love him but just could not live like that. That was over 40-50 years ago. She still speaks of him fondly (he died in another state in a ditch but had her phone number in his pocket) but I am sure she thought she always made the right decision. Myself, I just would not want to go through that, too much else to keep me busy. Thank goodness no children for you- would be really hard to subject a child to that.
I'd say yes they really did abuse
the 'emergency' but rather than contacting an attorney I would just try to recall where you might have given her contact information - call them and change ASAP and I would not even fill in that spot in the future citing your experience in these two situations and the problems it caused and if they fuss - give them a phoney name and addy and let it go. I think it is there for your safety really, secondly for them to collect should you not pay a bill - I have only been called once in my 55 years as my son got behind on his credit union car payment and they traced me down through 3 counties - so think you definitely had an unusual experience.
Abuse
Call your local shelter and they will advise you on ways to leave safely. NEVER take abuse - physically, verbally, or mentally from anyone. Forget the church kid, learn to love yourself, and lead by example for your children. If you act like a doormat, do not be suprised when you get stepped on!
You need a long time on your own before you are ready to think about entering another relationship. You are not out of your present relationship yet, but you can be if that is your decision. Best wishes to you.
Lilly
I think it is abuse.
Take the poor doggy into your house. Your cat may hide, but my guess is the dog will ignore the cat. I got my Sheltie when I had 2 cats and they all got along just fine. Please don't leave this poor thing outside, especially if it hot in your area. If you cannot bring it in, call the authorities. It is kinder than leaving her out to suffer.
It is ABUSE!
<>
This IS animal abuse. Thankfully, in most states animal cruelty is becoming a felony. In my state (NY) it can be punishable up to $5000. Animal abandonment is also a felony with one year in jail and up to $1000 fine. Failure to provide proper nutrients is another law that seems to have been broken.
Our animals needs protection from the elements, proper food and water (and not just a bowl to catch rain water,either) They also need love and companionship, and by this I mean not regulated to the backyard to vegetate.
Animals can think....how do explain service dogs, search and rescue, and guide dogs? Have you ever seen a dog given a task to do and watch him/her go through the paces to get it done?
As I stated before, contact an area dog club to see if they have members willing to help, or if they know of a Sheltie rescue who can help. Contact your area vets for such phone numbers. Or, you can contact me and I'll see if I can locate a Sheltie rescue that can help.
Abuse
Your post makes me very sad. Your husband is abusive. Husbands and boyfriends come and go in our lives; however, family is ALWAYS family. Please seek counseling for yourself. You cannot change him. After you become stronger through counseling, you will see the situation clearly for what it is - abusive.
Call your sister and invite her for a visit. Better yet, get a plane ticket and go see her. Don't ask, just do it.
Best wishes.
Lilly
Abuse
Every county has a program for abused woman and children. You do not have to be physically abused for them to help you. Find out the name of the program near you, Domestic violence, Reach, etc. You can call them and they will allow you to take your children and live in a house, the whereabouts is not known to anyone on the outside. It is free and they are very caring. You can start there and they will help see that you and your children are safe away from this maniac. Good luck.
There's always abuse
of the system. Making it illegal doesn't stop that. There are a lot of drugs out there that are, in my opinion, worse than marijuana as far as addictive qualities and doctor's prescribe those drugs routinely and easily for things such as back pain which is not life threatening but can be debilitating. I think it would be much easier to hold standards to legal medical use marijuana than it would to criminalize alcohol and the numerous other prescription drugs that are out there and abused.
it's abuse duh
x
Child abuse
That's your opinion - and pedofilia - obviously you did not BF or have a good bond with your children. Do you also consider it child abuse that I did not use disposable diapers? What about the fact that I worked as a wet nurse? Some things are just natural - You should read the book, The Family Bed - BF may be looked upon differently in the US - but that is only cultural - and I do not bend to cultural issues - I did as I pleased - and no one else cared or ever even discouraged me from BF my son as long as I did. Unless you've been there - you do not understand - sorry for you.
It is not abuse, but it is neglect
If you cannot take the dog in, I would definitely call the authorities. It is completely unfair and wrong for the dog to be left alone outside for that long with no shelter and no place to go. Who knows, maybe your cat and they dog will get along. I have 3 cats and a 128-pound German shepherd, and they call get along just fine together! But, if you cannot do this, just call the authorities for help/advice. I'm sure the dog would want you to do this so that it can get out of this situation!
Abuse causing this?
I had a son (I hear boys are worse than girls) who wet the bed until probably early teens. My aunt was a nurse, said NOT to belittle, get after, etc., etc. He definitely was NOT abused. Think children just do sometimes. I was told he would grow out of it and he did.
Sibling abuse
I picked up my 6-YO grandson today to bring him to my house for the weekend. When I got there I could tell he'd been crying and had a puffy bottom lip. He showed me where he had a missing tooth and said his 8 1/2-YO half brother (not my grandson) knocked it out. His mom sits on the couch and says nothing to dispute it, so I'm sure it's true. This brother is also his babysitter after school until mom and step-dad get home.
Not too long ago DHS was involved and step-dad was charged with abusing my grandson. Of course they always try counseling first before thinking about removing a child from the home.
I constantly worry about the environment he is in as I've seen the way older brother treats him, but never anything quite like this. At what point is it considered sibling abuse as opposed to normal fighting that brothers might do. Is this something I should report to DHS?
p.s. His mom is just beginning to speak to me again. She blames me for the last DHS thing even though I wasn't the one who reported it (only because I didn't know about it). Once I heard about it, I did go make a report about neglect that I'd observed. Then they were conveniently busy for the next 5 weekends so I couldn't see my grandson. It's a long story, but there is nothing in writing about visitation. I have pretty much had visitation with him every other weekend for the last six years.
What to do.
Sibling abuse
They're home alone 2 to 3 hours before parents get home. Parents are trying to save money, which is the only important thing to them. I agree entirely that he is too young.
The thing is, parents were home today when this happened. They were probably just getting up. They do not get out of bed before 10 on the weekend, even though kids are up at 6 or 7. I pick my grandson up at 10, and he has not had breakfast yet. This is the norm.
Child abuse, hardly
My child was circumcised years ago, did fine. Years later my 2 male grandchildren were not circumcised and as they were aging were running into lots of trouble, could not retract the foreskin because as they grew, so did the foreskin, could not keep the penis clean and finally at an older age (when more painful for them) had to get circumcised. Well known fact, smegma collects there and causes infection and could lead to worst things than just infection, has been linked to penile cancer.
no, not child abuse. what will they think of next? SM
How about - combing the tangles out of your daughter's hair (ouch)?
or ripping off a band aide?
or making them eat their vegies?
I don't see what one issue has to do with the other.
I don't like the fact that he won, but he's a free to gamble, as are we all.
Probably because it's really a non-issue.
(She was great on SNL a couple weeks, ago, too! Her 'double-takes' etc. were cracking me up.)
My dog and my issue sm
I must have a lot of this chemical or something.
If I am unwittingly *glutened* I get the toots and they are...highly unpleasant, shall we say. Now, I understand that dogs generally enjoy this, but my poor dog does not. She hears the noise, whines and RUNS as fast as she can to other room. Not too long ago, she was being a terrible pest and I needed to get up to work. I made the sound with my mouth. She tucked her ears and tail, and made B-line for the bedroom away from where she thought was coming!
This chemical might be good for my blood pressure, but not so good for my dog.
I had that issue too for a while - sm
I "adopted" my dad's husky and he was used to being totally spoiled. I give both him and my lab dry. He was finicky for about 3 days but after seeing the lab finish up his food for 3 days he started eating no problem. He has started to get a bit picky again so we make up beef boullion for him and add some to the food and he is back to eating w/o a problem. Think he just got bored and wanted some more flavor. Boullion is cheap and easy to make.
I have had this issue for a while myself- sm
My DH will not do a vasectomy though I explained it is easier for him than I, etc. I would have possible heavier and painful periods, which I don't want. Right now they are heavy but I forget most of the time I even have it, which is bad as I have "accidents" then. But I have never really been affected from my period, no cramps or bloating, I do get headaches but that is about it. I have been leaning towards that IUD now, Mirena I think it is called. Figure I will hit menopause in 10 years so can wait it out in the meantime. He knows I am using nothing so if I get pregnant at 43 it will be a whoops, and we are having another child late in life. He would not like it but tough noogies.
Thanks but here is the issue
Living in a smaller town, although right next to a huge complex, not many here that I can locate anyway does acupuncture. The nearest one I found before was probably about 30 or 40 miles away. I can self refer as I have PPO insurance so a referral not needed for me. I just want to know how to word an I only want to use #1 as a pain clinic physician.
Or maybe it's all that substance abuse she admitted to
I know I don't look like that and I'm close to that age. :P
blatant emotional abuse
You say he is out and about all the time with work or just doing fun stuff.
Talk to an attorney then, when he leaves the next time, have the separation papers filed and put his rear end out. He has probably already talked to an attorney if he is trying to talk YOU into taking the kids and leaving.
A judge is going to be more favorable toward keeping the kids in their home.
His abusive behavior toward you touches on the kids emotional health too.
Give him the boot girl!
What constitues animal abuse
I would like to know what you all think about this situation. Our neighbor next door has been gone almost 12 days. We just moved here so do not know them. The day they left there was a little sheltie dog that found its way to our yard and all weekend long laid under their truck and on their front lawn and ours. We gave it food and water, but it had no collar. Couldn't bring ourselves to call authorities as the life span is not long for strays. 3 days later it was gone, we assumed its owner found her or she found her way home. A few days ago we heard a dog crying and found her in the back yard of our neighbors who have been gone a long time but she is being given food and water. She has just been alone for almost two weeks and crying from only what we can assume is loneliness. Don't know our neighbors enough that when they return to say anything to them but I sure feel like giving them a piece of my mind. If we didn't have a cat we would have taken her in. It is so heartbreaking to think people don't think of their pets as anything more than a piece of property like an old shawl they don't know what to do with anymore. Just want to know what people think about this. I about cried myself to sleep last night thinking of how she must feel.
Boarding on abuse of the children
Ladies, you need to have a talk with these men. They are really abusing these children by running them down, waking them up from sleep? What gives with this? A child needs a lot of sleep anyway, more so than we do and why a person would harp on a child much less wake up from sleep to harp some more borders on nothing but abuse. The guys you are with need a wakeup call. Why are you letting them get away with this? They should find healthier outlets than what they have now.
It's only child abuse if you hit them hard enough
check with your CPS. There is a BIG difference between spanking and beating.
I don't automatically think spanking is abuse
said it was okay to give 'em the belt. That is abuse, plain and simple. If you feel a need to spank your child, then do it with your own hand, not another object. It's too easy to hit too hard with an object because you're not feeling the pain you're subjecting them to.
As for the gov't interfering, they have to because there are too many wackos in this world that do beat their kids to a pulp. If they all parented with a little more sense, like you obvioulsy do, then I would agree that the gov't shouldn't interefere, but unfortunately the wackos of this world don't care.
It sounds to me as if you're raising some wonderful children. You've definitely offered up some very good advice. I saw no where in your post where you said that you've used a belt, and I'm not saying that you did. I'm simply referring to the OP that started this thread that beating with a belt is abuse.
Here is why you DO NOT take an abuse spouse like this to counseling sm
BTDT a couple of times. He manipulated the whole thing to his "issues" with me.
He told counselor: She makes me angry. Counselor looks at me: Why do you feel the need to make him angry?
He told the counselor: I don't like her looks. Counselor asks me: I have you considered getting some help with your weight and looks (umm 140 at 5Ə"??? Where was the problem?)
He told the counselor: She makes this marriage about the kids instead of making it about me...I make all the money...I do all the work (never housework)...and she sits on the couch and eats bonbons all day (what is a bonbon?). THIS MARRIAGE NEEDS TO BE ABOUT ME and what I want, NOT about the kids. Counselor: Why do love your kids so much and why can't you put him first?
LOUSY counselor. I went to another one on my own who said: You may not have bruises, but you are being abused. I know the situation you are in and he forbids you to work and it isn't like you actually have the time. It may take you some time to choose to get out. So, lets focus on ways for you to be stronger until you can walk out the door. HE didn't get any better HE got worse as I started to develop a backbone.
So to all those who say go to counseling, stay in it, learn to be stronger, don't let his words hurt you...YOU ARE FULL OF IT. You all may like being treated the way that DONE is, but I don't. I am a person too, as is DONE. Anyone I might ever be with needs to think I am so wonderful, special, lovely, kind... you name it, they could not stand NOT to be with me. DONE'S husband is telling her, essentially...you okay I guess, but not that great. Plus which, you can't do anything the way I think it should be done. You don't have feelings because you are average looking and this marriage is all about me. Toro poo poo.
Some of you are not very bright, I am sorry to say, but there it is.
some advice about animal abuse
turn him in as soon as possible. People like that do not deserve animals. Someone ought kick him once in awhile.
Call the Animal Protection Society in your area immediately. I can't stand people who abuse animals and someone who knows this is being done and not doing anything about it is just as bad
You may have to report it but not as sibling abuse (sm)
Child abuse and neglect by the parents that BOTH children live with. The 8 year old doesn't need to be punished, they both need to be taken care of. The thing is, as you know DHS is not always going to fix the problem and if the mother finds out it was you, she will probably not let you see your GS again. That is a problem. I am not sure. Does your son have any type of rights to visitation, etc? Can he not go to court and say that his child is not being taken care of appropriately? Where is the older child's father?
Let me clearly state that this is abuse on many levels.
I'm another one who has BTDT...17 years ago, but when I read something like this, it seems like it was last week.
I remember exactly what my state of mind was when I finally was able to realize I had reached the end of my rope. That alone took me 10 years to figure out. I was overwhelmed with what lay beyond the escape I could not imagine being able to engineer. The fear was paralyzing. It would have been nice to have help and support, but I was so ashamed that I could not seek it or accept it. I ended up learning how to take my anger and turn it inside out. I transformed it into self-empowerment.
I am sure there are plenty of people who would like to help. You just may not know who they are or how to find them, but they're out there. Everybody's situation is different. It would be helpful to know where you live (town or city and state). I would be more than happy to help you gather some information, but need to know the geography.
Also, what kind of support system do you have beyond your household? How many kids? What about friends and family? Any possibility of staying with them, or would you feel safer being in a location your husband does not know about? If you are an MT, your job is portable....a huge help in this circumstance.
Share as much or as little as you feel comfortable with and see what we can help you come up with. This kind of thing probably has a better outcome if you have a plan (especially in view of your children and their schooling), but even without one, it can be done.
Let me be the first to assure you, life is really sweet once you get yourself and your kids to the other side.
I really feel that what she is doing is child abuse.
nm
Well, sometimes there is a medical issue
as there is here, not just eating and eating for no reason at all. Was always trim and slim until this but thanks anyway for the curt note.
Wiretapping is a whole different issue
You have an expectation of privacy when you have a phone conversation (although cell phones have pretty much burst that bubble). The government shouldn't be able to listen in unless there is cause for them to be suspicious that you are involved in criminal activity.
The other information - SS#, birth certificate, marriage certificate - is already on file with the government. You aren't telling them anything they don't already know.
There is also the behavior issue of (sm)
submissive piddling.
You can buy something called a Belly Band for him to wear in the house. If he dribbles with it on, he gets himself wet, so this can teach him not to let that happen. I've just heard that not all pet stores call it a Belly Band or know what that is, but you can Google something like house training, canine belly band, and you can read about it and maybe order on line.
Corgis are so cute. You can post pictures here on the gab board.
I think it is more of an issue of not supporting
things/people that I find morally wrong.
Granted, the God hating was not translated from the book to the movie, but that is not the point.
The point is, that this author had the audacity to write in his books about wanting children to kill God and that is wrong to ME.
I have every right to boycott this movie for that very reason because I am not giving this man a dime of my money and support.
It's not just about whether the movie is going to wrongly influence my children, it's about standing up for what you believe from the beginning.
I'm going through a similar issue.
I've had pain in my left upper, right upper and right lower quadrant for years now. I keep going to the doctor, he keeps trying to tell me I'm constipated. I'm not. I would know if I wasn't regular. I had a hiatal hernia when he thought my upper mid abdominal pain was reflux, and I had kidney stones when he thought my previous upper left quadrant pain was constipation. Now he tells me I'm a hypochondriac because I do medical transcription. However, they found fibroids and some other abnormality on ultrasound. Still haven't gotten those results back because they want me to pay another $150 office visit just to tell me what my $800 ultrasound said. Everyone else is telling me to have a HIDA scan to see if I have gallbladder disease for the right upper quadrant. I don't know if the left upper quadrant pain is another kidney stone or renal colic. I didn't know if fibroids hurt and would cause the right lower quadrant pain. Yes, I do worry that it's cancer. So I must be just a hypochondriac. I guess what I'm saying is, your daughter knows her body better than anybody else. If she thinks something isn't "right," she needs to pursue it. I don't think it's normal to be in pain every day.
|
