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Feminine intuition is rarely wrong. And when you are close to the truth, your man

Posted By: LilMT on 2009-02-25
In Reply to: Need opinions on situation with husband - wimt

will try to convince you that you're crazy or stupid.  They get defensive and angry and try to turn the tables and make this "your" problem.


Here's what you know:  1) It takes more time than normal to get his hair cut.  2) Your hair dresser not only has confided in you about her personal affairs, she has done so with your man (let me add, the only reason a woman does this is to elicit sympathy and a big strong shoulder to cry on - it's the oldest trick int he book).  3) He gave her a $500 tip without consulting you first.  He never mentioned it immediately after the fact, and still did not tell you how much the "tip" was after the thank you note.  That is completely deceitful!!!  4) When confronted with the facts that he gave away $500 without ever mentioning it to you, he has the balls to get angry and try to make you feel like YOUR anger is unjustified.


This are HUGE warning signals that should not be ignored.  Here is what I would do.  I would go through the checkbook with a fine tooth comb.  See where he is spending money and what he is spending money on.  I would also check credit card transactions as well.  If he has a cell phone, get a list of his numbers dialed and received calls.  Then figure out who the numbers belong to if you see numbers you don't recognize.  You can *67 and dial anonymously.  If it is a business, they'll always pick up.  If it's an individual who screens, you still get their answering machine.  You can also look the numbers up in a reverse phone directory.


I know it probably depresses you to think that it has come to all of this, but you would be a fool to simply overlook this indiscretion.  He may or may not have slept with this woman, but the bottom line his his behavior was deceitful and inappropriate.  You have every reason to be suspicious and he knows it.


I've been where you are right now and I feel for ya.  It sucks to find out you've been lied to by someone you loved and trusted.  Good luck!




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I specifically request the same info as you did, but I rarely (and I mean rarely) SM

get a response as to when the item will be shipped.  I've probably done about 100 transactions and only once did I not receive the item and had to dispute it. 


I'd just keep trying and be very persistent.  Maybe you will get a response


Feminine wipes........
Stock up on feminine wipes or sprays and if he goes for them - well, I think you might have a problem.  My husband enjoys a house that smells good, but he never comments on my fragrance (which I can wear very few) and I don't think he would burn a candle if his life depended on it.  this is a strange one - I have a BIL who is a metrosexual - will be going to his home in California in the near future and will report back if he is burning candles and using feminine fragranced bath bubbles.
Call it mother's intuition sm
If you feel the least bit uncomfortable I say don't let him go. When my daughter was about 11 a friend called and invited her to go to an amustment park 3 hours from here and they would be spending the night. Her parents are divorced and they would be going with the father. I have no reason to distrust the father but something was nagging at me and I just didn't feel comfortable saying yes. Most likely your son will be completely safe, but if it doesn't feel right don't say yes. I assure you I am not what one would call an overprotective mother. There are many things I have let my children do, probably some things that other parents would say "no" to. But like I said, if something doesn't feel right then don't say yes. JMO
We are close in that we live about five miles from each other, but we aren't close like good frie
By husband and BIL WERE pretty good friends, though.
We seek for the truth, our own personal truth. SM
Not everyone is religious. ;)
If you are set on closing, do not close the old ones, close a newer account first.
Your credit is based on a mix of things like history, types of accounts, mix of credit (revolving vs installment), usage/utilization of credit available, and payment history. Where closing could hurt your score is the part of the score that averages history of accounts/length of credit. If you decide to close, close out a newer account first.
The best way to protect from ID theft as far as credit is to freeze your credit reports. It's around $10 per agency to freeze them. Each credit reporting agency tries to sell your their own monitoring plan when you get to the how to freeze information, so make
sure you are freezing it.
You can't freeze it over the net they each require a letter by registered mail. It takes about 1 month to freeze it.
Right now you can place a fraud alert on your reports for free. The credit *should* not extend credit or do a credit line increase without calling the phone # on your credit report first. You only need to do it at one credit reporting agency and the other ones will be notfied. The number for equifax fraud alert 1-888-766-0008. It's automated.

If you are concerned about ID theft try one of the monitoring plans. I've tried a few of them and Equifax has the best one. Their Score Watch is great, you set the limits to be notified and any change they send an email literaly the next day. I used it after I discovered ID theft. It might be a waste of money for you. I would place the fraud alerts, then the freeze, and check your reports 2x per year.

I've had ID theft as far as my name/social but what concerns me more than credit ID theft is bank account theft. I don't know how we can fight that. It seems like consumers get the raw end of the deal as far rights when deposit accounts are stolen.
in every joke is a little truth and the truth in
this 'joke'(?) is very sad.
Next time try a little harder.
I do not watch AI except very, very rarely, BUT.....

I have 12-year-old daughter and I feel she is just as entitled to vote as I am (if I voted which I don't).  This is America and we all have rights no matter our age.


Now, if older people are playing games with the voting, that is a whole other story and AI should change their voting policy somehow so it is fair and the most talented person wins.


That's possible, but I actually very rarely take antibiotics

This is an exception - I have been running a low-grade fever off and on this entire time, so I know something is going on, whether it's just inflammation or an infection.


In talking to the doc on this last visit, we figured out that my problem is mainly an allergy to molds. We had an extremely wet late spring/early summer (it broke previous records for number of straight days of rain) and my symptoms began shortly afterward. I have noticed that many times my symptoms begin the day after it rains.


I feel better today, for the first time in a LONG time. I don't know if it is due to the fact that I took the last of the antibiotic yesterday, or that I spent almost all day yesterday in bed resting.


I am going to see about getting tested for allergies, including an allergy to mold. I've done a bit of netsurfing and there are treatments for that, but they aren't effective for everyone. After what I've been through the past two months, though, I am certainly willing to give it a try!


I talk to the doctor about the possibility of a fungal infection, also. Is there a test for it? (I am a radiology MT, don't know as much about the clinical side)


I am lactose intolerant so I haven't drunk milk in years, but I do eat ice cream and cheese and foods with milk-based sauces. I probably should try to avoid those when I'm having a sinus flare-up.


Thanks for your suggestion. I hadn't thought of the possibility of a fungus. I will certainly investigate it.


Thank you - I appreciate it - yes, he's rarely sick (sm)
and if he gets even a cold he goes to the doctor and takes a day off from work and lays in bed all day. I wish I could have health that good!
rarely drink but when I do...
blended mudslide or white russian please!!!

:)
have a good one
I'm rarely ever out of work at my job. But at
most of the night, and still not make the rent. I wouldn't be making peanuts working 10-12 hr/day if I were paid a fair, non-slave-labor wage. I guess my Indian bosses haven't been able to adjust to how things are in America. Which is why they should LEAVE, IMO.
Kids rarely help, don't count on it sm
If you have girls - maybe - but if you have boys the DIL usually hates your guts and it's not her fault, she was "trained" by her own mom and the "his mother" label gets placed. You can try everything, not complaining, helping them financially, buying her special cards and gifts, you'll still be "his mother" and you will get nothing but venom. Be prepared for it, most MIL's with boys are going through this. The son is not even allowed to call unless she's out of the house. So be prepared to take care of yourself for as long as you can, prepare financially, prepare your home, but most of all, prepare your central nervous system for total rejection. Learn to rise above, suit up, shut up and show up. Most of all smile and nod a lot.
The one I have doesn't yap or bark rarely..sm
I guess they are all different. Mine is very lazy and overweight and sleeps all day and lays around. She is typical hound. She is very shy though.
I disabled it on my own phone because I rarely

I love to cook...but rarely have time to do it. nm
nm
You ead my response wrong, terribly wrong
I am trying to ask what does she think it will help, not being nasty- tell me and I will try this. I would stand on my head and gargle peanut butter if I thought it would help - I wanted to know why a letter? They are thumbing their noses at the courts - commanded to appear- I was there and they werent.
Just tell her the truth -
That you do not feel what she does is worth $60 at this point and feel as if she is rushing you out of the chair. She may reconsider her pricing if you have been a loyal customer. That puts the ball in her court. Be ready to find someone else.
Ain't THAT the truth! LOL nm
*
It's the truth because God said it? sm

But how do you know God (or Jesus) said it?  Everything He's supposed to have said has been *interpreted* by mankind, then *translated* from another language, to another language, etc., and influenced by the *politics,* leaders, and culture of the day... how many thousands of years ago?  There are bound to be things lost in translation, misunderstood, misinterpreted (misquoted!). 


I'm just saying, it's all been subject to man's interpretation of it (and still is to this day).  It can't all be taken literally (though some people do which is incomprehensible to me). 


I think in many ways the bible is a beautiful piece of literature, but I also think much of it is fiction. 


You can count me among those who are spiritual but not religious (esp. organized religion, whoo boy!), and this is just one reason why. 


Interesting topic. 


now, isn't THAT the truth.....

Truth is ...
He is being really selfish, and if he ever found a woman who liked that lifestyle, he probably wouldn't like her all that much!

I have an ex-husband who turned our yard into a junk yard and spent his free time fixing other people's things while our place went to heck.

I know how you feel! Good luck.
Nothing else taken with this- a lie or truth?
and eat pecans frequently. I thought perhaps someone from New Orleans could perhaps use some kind of (now this really sounds odd) peppers added that I would normally not use in a pie such as this. This is a new housekeeper and she comes this Friday- I am gonna hate to have her ask how was the pie..Hubby believes in telling a little white lie- I am for telling her what happened to me. She has gone into a catering business. What to do - tell little white lie or the truth?
DEFINITELY tell the truth!
My gosh if this was definitely from the pie and I was the one baking/selling them I would want to know...potential lawsuits, etc. YUCK! Can't hurt to ask her what was in it that might have effected you that way...just maybe say you are worried about a nut allergy but wanted to be sure of all of the ingredients before you got tested for it. I see your point that you were wondering about the spice or something...makes sense now...maybe it was a different type of flour in the crust, who knows...I would definitely tell her so she can evaluate what she has done different at least in that pie.
The truth would be my way
husband is a milk toast type of guy and does not like to rock the boat so to speak. I had nothing else with the pie last evening and noticed I had a funny after taste, such as a, not really burning but strange, thought undertone if that applies in this case. Last night hunting the Benadryl thought if something like peppers they use in New Orleans and I was not used to them. I eat regular pecan pie and this was no where close to what I have had all these years.
Ain't that the truth!!!
If she's that mature, she should have tried the best birth control, which is not having sex at all!!! 
Probably the truth is that if they don't

come around, they have a little peace.  Every encounter with their mother is going to ruffle her feathers and freak her out.  You are a cold, cold woman.  Hopefully they are getting some acceptance from their in-laws, if you haven't screwed them up enough to wreck their marriages too. 


How about you tell the person you are talking long distance to, "I'm sorry, my daughter is calling, I have to go."  Where are your priorities?


i don't know how much truth there is to this
that we will have to claim that money from the rebate on our 2008 taxes; that if it was a REFUND, that would be different. anyone know anything about this? same thing happened with our property taxes "rebate"... have to claim that.... doesn't really shock me though
It is most always better to tell the truth
Especially if they are your friends. If they really are then they will understand, but if they find out you lied to them they will eventually loose all respect for you.

This is a lesson I've been trying to teach my daughter for years.....hasn't worked yet, but she doesn't have many friends either.
I think there is some truth to this
If a young man is very close to his mother, and he looks to her as an example for what women are like, then yes it is possible they look for a girl like Mom, especially if she is a good cook. However, my daughter told my son that the June Cleaver's, from Leave it To Beaver, are about gone, and the girls from this generation are very different. My son was used to my keeping my house clean, having meals at the dinner table at night, chauffering them to their activities, staying up at night and helping with school projects, working 2 jobs to make ends meet, and being a single parent, and I raised my sons and daughters to think that a job was not a dirty word and they needed to help out too.

It is funny though that the girl that my son married is similar in appearance to me, but she does not cook, nor does she clean, but she is a good mother and manager of their finances. My son said the other day that he longs for a home-cooked meal at anytime, and wishes I lived closer, although he has gotten to be a good cook.
Ain't that the truth....
There is no such thing as a cheap horse either, especially in California--what is hay running there now, anyway? Was pricey when I left 3 years ago, so I bet it is much higher now.
Boy, isn't that the truth.

I used to think people who made a point of organic this or that and organic cleaning products were a little kooky.   Not so much any more. I built a greenhouse with money I inherited from my mom last year so I can grow my own food and not pay $15 a pound for organic anything at Whole Foods. 


If we truly looked at the FDA "allowables" as to what is allowed in mass produced food, I think we'd all turn a little green.


Ain't that the truth, Sylvia?!?!?!!!!

Ain't that the truth! That ought to be regulated too :)
x
Just from experience and just the truth
NM
When they ask, tell them the truth. There is a reason they are asking. nm
x
I think they are the ones posting truth about ESL &
x
You want the truth or a little white lie?
I ate 3 great big peppers and that is the truth. No one else here, hubs told me he does not like. I usually do not cook but decided I wanted some and got all my ingredients together and they were really, really good. Double burp....
I think there might be a nugget of truth there....
Or at least there's something reminiscent.

Not long after DH and I got married, he stood in the bedroom door and just laughed and laughed at me (but in a good way, you could hear the love). Turned out I was sitting up in bed, watching TV, reading and nibbling on a snack — just like his mother did.

(He also laughs at me and the girls when we remind him of my mother.)

maybe she is telling the truth
would you scare kids with that???? There are certain things that should not be discussed with children.
Wow - did you ever tell the truth in that post!! nm
x
When to tell your kids the truth ...

So, if you made mistakes in the past, do you tell your kids what you did and still tell them why they shouldn't?


I am inclined to tell my kids the truth about my past mistakes with drinking, sex, etc.  I don't think I have a sordid past, but I could have made better decisions.  I am not naive to think this might change the way my kids think about me, but if presented in the right context maybe I could pass my life experience on.


What do you think?  Would you keep your bad decisions to yourself or let it all out?


If you find out the truth behind this, let me know
I bought a home years ago and found out after having lived there probably 20 something years someone died there and someone else murdered there, so I was told. I was not told anything at all prior to my buying. It seems like an unnecessary disclosure to a potential buyer anyway.
Thing Is, you are going to have to tell her the truth.
I know she is your mom and you really don't want to hurt her (and this will), but you are going to have to bite that bullet and be honest, and do it as soon as possible before she makes any more plans.  No, this is not like her coming to your house.  This is YOUR family's vacation.  I am surprised she did not think of that, so you need to tell her with no beating around the bush.  Then in the future, she will wait for an invitation before thinking your family wants to drag them along.  It may make her think about a few other things too.  This honestly is a hard thing to do but it will be healthy for your relationship in the future.
i totally agree with that. it is the truth.
right before i told my 3rd grade daughter the truth about santa she was saying "but momma, i believe, i believe..." like she was just beggin to believe. it was sad,but she knew that if she believes santa will come
Tell them the truth, you're still looking for a man that's good enough ; )
That ought to shut them up. LOL. It is rude. I'm over 40 and often get the "do you have kids" question and I do not. If they ask why not I say *I guess I've been blessed*. LOL
how about being honest and telling him the truth..sm
imagine how he will react when (and he will) he finds out you have been lying to him. Just tell him. His reaction may be less than when he finds out about a total lie!
So your post is not about a univeral truth (SM)
So your post is not about a univeral truth, it is about your own truth.  Have a nice day as well.
it's simple Truth. Not complicated at all.
x
hih? truth? whose? Men who wrote Bibles?

You guys are bad. It is the truth. Check BBC for yourself.
//