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People who don't have trust issues will take advantage of it.

Posted By: None for me, thanks on 2007-05-08
In Reply to: Surely you dont think they would open themselves up for - lawsuits in that fashion??? nm

nm


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addressing trust issues...
I am so sorry you don't trust pitbulls. If you owned one you would feel differently.
Sounds like a couple of people have mother issues!


Yep, you should be mad. They took advantage of you. But now
s
Advantage
I called 1-800-petmeds in the past. I got free shipping and was pleased with the service/pricing.
You are definitely being taken advantage of
You're not wrong.  You have every right to be mad.  I would tell hubby that either his buddy comes and gets the dogs, and doesn't do this to you again, or next time your husband can stay home and take care of them.  It's one thing to take care of your own, but 5 more is a lot to feed and clean up after.  I think his friend is taking advantage of both of you and your husband is being wayyyy to nice about it.  By the way, where I live the going rate of a kennel is about 25-30 dollars a night per dog.  Maybe you should bill his buddy?  Good luck. 
You can only be taken advantage of if
you allow it yourself. Don’t be a rug for her or anyone else for that matter. It is your home, grow a backbone and tell her what you have said here, just so upsetting to you and the only way these visits can happen is if she stays at the hotel. You should not put yourself out for her if war is going to continue in your own home. If you cannot tell her what you have said here, then I guess Auntie will continue to visit like she has all along.
Then learn how to use my tax dollars to the best advantage
p
Anna Nichole is still being taken advantage of, even in
death with her supposedly beloved, yeh right, Howard Stern who now I hear has sold the rights for her funeral to Entertainment Tonight for 3+ million. Why am I not shocked by this? Hearing complaints from other news services unable to get any kind of story at all, all involved - her mother, her former boyfriend Larry and her baby daddy (supposedly) Howard others think are being paid $$$ not to talk but exclusively to ET. Heard Fox news just say they do not pay for stories, well I guess some are not that honorable.
Advantage for cats/fleas

Has anyone found a source for purchasing Advantage at a very good price? I have 7 inside cats and 4 outside. I would be willing to buy this in bulk if the price was more reasonable.


Also, has anyone used something other than Advantage with good luck.


Thank you.


I use Advantage 9 for my smallish kitties. I didn't think - sm
I needed flea-treatments since they are both 100% indoor-only cats living in an apartment, but every few months to a year,they'd suddenly become infested. It happened with my past cat, too. I finally figured out what was happening.

It was ALWAYS after I'd been away for a while, and the pet-sitter came to take care of them, which included grooming, etc. She's not uncleanly or anything, but she does take care of a LOT of animals all over town, because that's her livelihood. So obviously one or more of her clients had a flea problem, and it only takes one to jump from that animal, to the pet-sitter, to one of my cats to start the problem all over again.

So NOW, I apply Advantage before planning to leave them with anyone, and that seems to do the trick.
I handled it by quit allowing myself to be taken advantage of -sm
Just STOP doing it.  Doing the same thing again and again and expecting a different result borders on insanity!  They obviously do not value what is given, so stop doing it, save yourself the money and the heartache, and move on to more positive things to spend your energy on. 
Ah, that is sorta taking advantage of a restaurant
in fact might border on theft. I don’t think quirky, would be embarassing to me to have your family heist any and everything they could when going out. Do they go out other times or just on a special occasion? Rather than run the risk of someone in management asking me to pay for their "treats," think I probably might make them a dinner at home, then you could make sure to tie down anything valuable to you.
Someone putting that many demands on a gift is taking advantage of you, and you are letting them. nm
x
I say trust your gut-
drownings can happen so easily, even with good supervision. If the other boy's father is going to be drinking who knows what could happen. Plus I have learned in my life that when my gut tells me something I really need to listen. Better that your son be unhappy with you for short while but alive and well.
I do not believe a trust

will jeopardize her other benefits.  You should have an attorney who is well versed in this type of thing to go over all the ins and outs of the situation. 


Trust
In this day and age.....I don't trust anyone....whether it is child, mother, sister, cousin.......You never know what frame of mind a person is in.......Sorry.....I should have never posted....just wanted to get some insight....not to get knocked down because of a decision I made....
When it comes down to it, you have to trust
your daughter, no matter how old the boyfriend may be.
I do trust her - sm
The problem is her dad. It took her, a counselor, and me to convince him to even get him to agree to let her see him in the mall. I agree with the other posters - I'd like to get him over here to dinner or something, maybe a BBQ now that it's getting warmer. Just have to figure out how to let Dad know they're communicating again.
Trust me ... at the end of the day s/m
no one will be looking at the state of your house.  But definitely getting everyone in the household involved and sharing responsibility will give them all a satisfied feeling of being able to contribute.  If you are doing all the cooking, lots of things can be done days in advance, a little at a time.  It will get done -- try not to sweat it too much.  Believe me, your guests will be so grateful that is wasn't them having to do it, they will look at you as the hero!
I don't trust them
They just don't seem to be accurate, and I don't like that they want you to give them information such as your address.
Trust yourself.
You already know the truth. Trust your own instincts. Face whatever you know to be the truth and deal with that.

When we begin asking others, we already have the knowledge but want others to confirm it for us.

You will make the right decision for yourself.
NEVER! Nor would I trust a US doc with a

regaining trust

I understand your disappoinment...I'm sorry you had to catch him in a lie...that's the worst.


Stick to your initial plan and don't give in....He's gotta regain/earn your trust back at this point before you let him have the car.  The end of the semester may seem like an eternity, but it's only about 8 or 9 weeks and then he'll be home for Christmas break.  He'll live and perhaps thank you some day.   


It appears the girlfriend's parents and you are on the same page.  That's a big plus.


Did you ever get that cell phone back?   Cat


  


I do know a special needs trust will not
xx
trust your heart
Trust yourself and trust in God, as well as your doctors. They would not want anything bad to happen to your baby. By the way, if you ever have a chance to go see the Body World 3 exhibit you would love the embryo/fetus exhibit. It is absolutely amazing what a 4wk embryo looks like and how he/she develops by 16 weeks into an absolutely perfectly formed baby. I wish you the best of luck. Please keep us updated on your progress.
How sad not to trust anyone, even family nm!
NM
Not sure if I trust her judgement.....she
xx
Trust your instincts. nm
xx
Anyone ever been trustee of a Special Needs Trust?

I've been the trustee of my older sister now since 2001 when our mother died.  She is mentally retarded because she fried her brain on LSD and mescalin when she was a teenager, also is bipolar and on SSDI.  


She just called me to say she is on the edge of losing all of her benefits, including her state-funded housing, because her love toy went and blabbed to the housing authority that she was getting this "extra" money and it's a huge amount.  Well, it's not a huge amount by any means, not even $40,000 to last her lifetime.  I'm sure she and her benefits are protected via the whole category of "Special Needs Trust" but to say my blood pressure is up is an understatement of the decade. 


I just want to drive 8 hours to smack the sh*t out of her and her G-spot Johnny (did I mention she's also hypersexual?!) boy toy.  Now, I'm not a violent person, but the attorney told me that the government could also come after me if they feel there has been any sort of fraud here.  I'm not the one that did drugs, yet for some reason this responsibility was tossed in my lap.  Hmmm...could be that whole atheist thing and this is mom's retribution. 


So, anyone know anything about Special Needs Trusts I should be particularly concerned about?


You say spanking does not build trust?
It sure makes a kid do good, though. I would not raise my kids to be terrors and surely not with g'kids. I just do not have it period.
Good advice. Wish we could trust everyone. . . NM
xx
I agree, trust your pets
Dogs or cats for that matter. Whether they sense trouble or they sense the personality, it doesn't really matter. They are sending you a message and you should listen. Animals are known for being loyal to their owners at all cost. It's their nature. Have you ever been sick and had your dog lay next to your bed the entire day...same sort of thing. They are being loyal and protecting you. You don't have to tell them; they just know something isn't right.

I have had this experience with several pets, including my cat. Yes, I said my cat. lol She is like a dog in a lot of ways. They just know when something is off and they will tell you the best way they can. I never tell them a person is okay or to stop barking. If things are okay or the person is okay they will stop on their own without me saying a word. Somehow they just know.
I trust my daughter but not her friends
I think my daughter knows right from wrong and would not do anything inappropriate, but I worry about the boys.  They seem to be able to do a lot more than what I allow my daughter to do... some of them are older and also they have very bad manners IMO.  I wish she would find someone else to hang out with.  It seems like that harder I try to change her behavior, the harder she pulls in the other direction.  Are all teenaged girls like that?  I guess I was too at that age, but it still worries me.
I would trust my husband and throw it away...
but that is because I trust my husband and also because I know he doesn't have time for an affair ;). If you know it isn't true, don't pay it any attention.
Would you trust "out-of-the-USA" surgery?

Next year alone, an estimated 6 million Americans will travel abroad for surgery, according to a 2008 Deloitte study. "Medical care in countries such as India, Thailand and Singapore can cost as little as 10 percent of the cost of comparable care in the United States," the report found.


Next year alone, an estimated 6 million Americans will travel abroad for surgery, according to a 2008 Deloitte study. "Medical care in countries such as India, Thailand and Singapore can cost as little as 10 percent of the cost of comparable care in the United States," the report found.


=============================


NEW DELHI, India (CNN) -- "I was a walking time bomb. I knew I had to get on that plane if I wanted to be around to see my grandkids."


Sandra Giustina is a 61-year-old uninsured American. For three years she saved her money in hopes of affording heart surgery to correct her atrial fibrillation. "They [U.S. hospitals] told me it would be about $175,000, and there was just no way could I come up with that," Giustina said.


So, with a little digging online, she found several high quality hospitals vying for her business, at a fraction of the U.S. cost. Within a month, she was on a plane from her home in Las Vegas, Nevada, to New Delhi, India. Surgeons at Max Hospital fixed her heart for "under $10,000 total, including travel."


Giustina is just one of millions around the world journeying outside their native land for medical treatment, a phenomenon known as "medical tourism." Experts say the trend in global health care has just begun. Next year alone, an estimated 6 million Americans will travel abroad for surgery, according to a 2008 Deloitte study. "Medical care in countries such as India, Thailand and Singapore can cost as little as 10 percent of the cost of comparable care in the United States," the report found.


Companies such as Los Angeles-based Planet Hospital are creating a niche in the service industry as medical travel planners. One guidebook says that more than 200 have sprung up in the last few years. "We find the best possible surgeons and deliver their service to patients safely, affordably and immediately," said Rudy Rupak, president of Planet Hospital. "No one should have to choose between an operation to save their life or going bankrupt."


Planet Hospital, which works with international clients as well as Americans, books patients' travel and arranges phone interviews with potential surgeons. Patients are greeted by a company representative at the airport in the country where they've chosen to be treated; a 24-hour personal "patient concierge" is also provided, a level of service that's standard among many of the top medical travel planning companies.  Watch Dr. Sanjay Gupta meet some medical tourists »


"Our patient concierge was amazing," said Giustina. "He came to the hospital every day, gave us his personal [telephone] number and after my operation, he arranged private tours of India." Just two days post-op, Giustina and her husband, Dino, toured local markets and landmarks including the Presidential Palace and the Taj Mahal.


"I was able to fix my heart and tour India, which is something I thought I'd never do."


Walk through a patient wing at Max Hospital in New Delhi on any given day and you're likely to see people from around the world. In one visit, CNN met patients from the United Kingdom, Nigeria, Jordan, Afghanistan and the United States. They're alike in choosing surgery abroad, but their reasons differ.


Many South Asians and Africans said they travel abroad because they do not have access to care in their homeland.


Some Canadians and Europeans said they chose to travel aboard, despite having national health plans, because they are tired of waiting -- sometimes years -- for treatment.


Patients from the Middle East said they come to India because the technology as well as the staff is more advanced.


For most Americans CNN spoke to, it came down to finding the best value. "If I could have afforded my procedure in the United States, I would have taken it, but that was not my option," Giustina said. "I had to get online and look for a Plan B." Read about hot destinations for medical tourism


The private hospitals in India market themselves as having upscale accommodations, Western-trained surgeons and state-of-the-art medical equipment.


CNN spent time at Max Healthcare in New Delhi and saw operating rooms similar to those in many U.S. hospitals. If fact, Max's neurosurgery room had an inter-operative MRI scanner, which is technology hardly seen at hospitals in the United States.


The lobby had marble floors, a book café, coffee station and a Subway sandwich shop. The patient suites were equipped with flat screen TVs, DVD players and Wi-Fi. This hospital also catered to families traveling together. The suites had adjoining rooms with a kitchenette, coffee maker and a sofa bed.


Max neurosurgeon Dr. Ajaya Jha said the hospital can provide high-quality care at low prices because the staff work hard to cut waste.  Watch Dr. Gupta visit an Indian spice market »


"I've seen hospitals in the U.S. where they open up something costing $10,000 and say, 'Oh it's not working. OK, give me another one.' We would never do that here. Even for 100 rupees (about $2) -- we would say, "Do we need to open this suture? Do we need to open this gauze?' We are very conscious of cost."


Hospital officials negotiate hard to keep costs low for high-tech medical machinery and other supplies, Jha said. "In the U.S. people are making careers out of carrying laptops and documenting things that are not really useful in the long term for the patient."


The salary of a U.S. surgeon is five times that of a surgeon in India. "We [surgeons in India] want to make a profit, but we don't want to profiteer. We don't want squeeze people and I think American industries should also think that way," Jha said.


Critics of medical tourism warn patients to be diligent when researching treatment aboard. "I've found that industry voices tend to crowd out those of us who are more cautious about the legal risks," said Nathan Cortez, assistant law professor at Southern Methodist University, who is conducting a case study investigating what legal recourse patients have outside America.


Patients don't think about their legal vulnerabilities, Cortez said. "Some countries limit patient access to medical records so they can't really learn what happened during the surgery. And a lot of practitioners in other countries just refuse to give you your medical records. So people have to weigh the risk versus benefits."


While most tourism patients from America are uninsured, major U.S. insurance companies are considering providing "medical tourism" coverage to their customers. Several have already launched pilot programs.


"I think what's really important about medical tourism is that you make the choice for what's right for you and what's important to them," said a spokesman for U.S. health insurer WellPoint Inc.


Experts say that every patient considering traveling abroad for surgery should inquire about postoperative care, legal rights and the safety standards and certifications of the hospital. Foreign health care providers should be willing to discuss the procedure and answer question ahead of time.


"What really helped me feel good about the process was that my doctor in the U.S. spoke to the cardiologist in India prior to my trip," said Giustina. "They were so open about everything; I knew I'd be in good hands."


Just weeks from returning from abroad, Giustina says she has only one regret, "I shouldn't have waited so long! I feel like a new person again, no more pain."


I think even a bigger one. I still trust Obama..
It is said that M wears the pants at home and I bet that she reminds him every day that she gave up her job for him!
I think even a bigger one. I still trust Obama..
It is said that M wears the pants at home and I bet that she reminds him every day that she gave up her job for him and the children.
once the trust is gone, so is the love, and the relationship..sm
be completely honest with him..now, before he gets out of rehab. If he is doing it only for you or to get you back, it is never going to work and it is just a matter of time before HE feels comfortable enough to start drinking again. You sound pretty sure that you want it to be over, so see a lawyer and start divorce proceedings now. don't wait for him to get out and start things all over again. You have to be up front about YOUR feelings, as well. Do not lead him on thinking there is hope. If telling him how you feel puts him back into drinking again, that is his problem and not yours. It would only serve to prove that he was not serious about stopping drinking anyway, and helping himself, but only a means to get back into your life. Do not take on the guilt. He is responsible for his ownself, and you are responsible for you. But do not let his expectations of coming back go on any longer. He has a right to know how you feel now, before it is too late. You already know in your heart that things will go back to the way they were before, if you let him come back. Show him how serious you are, be honest, and start the actions you need to extricate yourself from the situation. He will not change.. trust me on that one. I have been there too.
Trust me..it was not easy.. and it honestly took 4 years..
I went back and forth, I kept trying to leave but was scared, had no where to go, no way to earn a living etc..I would just keep coming back. Then, I did decide to go to school. That pretty much ended it. I got through school leaving through threats and how I "ruined" our lives by going backwards i.e returning to school. He knew that if I had no education, then I was stuck with him for surviving, and I think he knew deep down, I was preparing myself to leave. The second I graduated and got a job, I moved "into town"..well, after stalking me and doing the "if I can't have you, then no one can" crap and being terrified he would kill me..I upped and moved away and filed for divorced. There was no turning back.  I moved in with family and he had no idea where that was. Evidently, it calmed down and from that day forward, I did not take his crap. To this day, the man has never found anyone because who wants to live with that alcoholic loser and when he tried to control me after the divorce, I'd tell him to his face to shove off. That was sweet revenge. I had to believe in myself and believe I was worth it.. and I did.. Life is good..I remember him not allowing me to have a credit card, new car or buy anything..not even washclothes..well guess what..this country girl married a millionaire who gives me the world!!!!LOL
Well trust me, you aren't missing a thing! :) nm
,
Hang in there girlfriend. If you feel the trust
is there, then believe in it. Truely hope it works out for you. I have seen amazing turn-arounds in marriages. It can work.
Posts speak volumes in lack of trust
people have with their daughters. I have grown daughter so I guess now would be a different ballgame in the fact so many girls feel having sex and making babies at any young age, really young, is par for the course. Just talked with my 30 something daughter a few minutes ago and ran past her and she also thought creepy to keep list of periods. I guess you really have to do that these days though.
Trust my daughter to the fullest.. your post speaks volumes of ignorance is bliss. sm
It is not like I make a huge banner on the wall for goodness sakes! I put a small V on the corner of the date on the calander. I trust my daughter completely and do this for health concerns only. I have a miserable health history and was always thankful my mother was on top of things. We always had great communication about everything and I have done that with my own daughters. We talk about everything into the wee hours of the morning. I am not knocking your way doing things..so please dont knock mine. I feel it is better to be on top of things than to be ignorant of my daughters health..and yes menstrual cycles are part of her health history. What would I say at the docs office when asked about her cycles..Umm I dont know. Better go ask the 12 y/o because her mom doesnt know! I dont think so.
Lab here with some issues.
We can't figure out what the problem is either. I give her a bath every other day with dog shampoo made from dry skin dogs and that seems to help her the rest of that day and part of the following one.
She must have some serious issues (sm)

Psychologists say that people who take pleasure in running other people down have no self-esteem, are usually unhappy with their lives, and it kind of lifts them up to run someone else down.  Maybe we should feel sorry for her. Uh.  Maybe tomorrow.


Not sure what his issues are

My son is not very honest.  When I had him for my summer visitation this year, he talked about possibly wanting to stay here, but kept changing his mind constantly.  Finally he said he wishes he could try living with me for a year and see if he liked it.  I told him his dad would never go for that (the ex is now on an SSI disability and is also drawing SSI for my son - so his motives for keeping him there are very financial).  My son admits one major thing holding him back is he likes his school and his friends and doesn't want to leave them.  Its up to my son to decide when he's had enough and is ready to tell the judge he wants out of there and stick with it. I'm not pressuring him to make a change.


During our epic custody battle, the whole thing started because my son said "get me out of here" and started telling horror stories, which were mostly true, from what I saw firsthand.  I made sure he got a CASA (his own court-appointed advocate) so his side would be told to an "impartial" third party.  But my son was not honest.  He changed his mind and stories constantly and protecting daddy suddenly became a big deal.  He recanted everything he told me, my mother, and relatives on his dad's side (seeing his father and other adults naked, physical abuse, drugs/drinking going on, etc.) - either he said it never happened or his memory completely disappeared on issues where I had firsthand knowledge that it was true.  When the golden moment came to advise the CASA what his wishes were, suddenly he was quite happy at dad's, and didn't really care which parent he lived with.


This is one reason I have to see something in writing from my son before I grab this hot potato again.  I love him, but I cannot trust that he won't make me look like a fool and waste endless time and money to help him, when he does a 180 and wants no help when help arrives.  He claims to be disgusted by his father's drug use, but refuses to get him in trouble, even when I assure him I begged the court repeatedly to drug test us both and see the truth and the court declined to touch that issue.  He has pondered whether to play hardball with his dad and give an ultimatum that if he doesn't get off drugs he'll come live with me - this shows me at this time he still wants to be there or he would gladly walk away.


Other issues?

Most, if not all, of someone's "other psych issues" with their gender identity comes from society's attitude toward it.  Once they have completely transitioned, most of those issues go away.


"Psych issues" usually include -


being forced into an uncomfortable gender by an accident of birth and told they can do nothing about it


being treated like a monster by family and friends who can't accept that they need to change


being treated like a pariah and a target by perfect strangers who think its OK to abuse them any way they please, up to and including murder


finding it nearly impossible to find romance, because few are open minded enough to deal with this personally, given a choice


very messy situations in the workforce while trying to transition - mainly caused by coworker's opinions and attitudes


people in general who refuse to see the person but only see the gender issue, and judge the person automatically without educating themselves on the condition at all


My son, who is in the process of becoming my daughter, passes so well as "female" that unless you knew what's in that person's pants, you'd never know she's "male".  Once legally transitioned (with all the paperwork changed to reflect female gender), nobody that meets my daughter will see her as a freak.  It is only people that knew her before, as a male, that will have problems with "her".  So as long as those people continue to give her grief, yes, it will cause "psych issues", just as lifelong harrassment and judgmental ignorance against you would cause anyone some "psych issues".


You have several issues here sm
First, mortgages are no longer a wise investment. The general trend is towards home values going down, not up. You could well end up 10 years from now owing more than you can sell the house for. I have had this happen to me.

You have GOT to live within your means. If your wife is overspending, she needs help. Yes, overspending is a pathology!

Downsizing even further is probably your best solution, after your wife has addressed her issues with spending more than you have. Being house poor is a fool's journey into madness, especially because with gas prices continuing to rise, as food may be a real luxury soon.

I have downsized twice in the last 5 years, in part because my family grew up and left home, and the last time because it made economic sense. I live in an older trailer house, but it is lovely inside...warm and comfortable. Ashamed of it? NO WAY it is paid for IN FULL and MINE. It was a wise move. I am now able (and motivated) to save about 25% of my income after taxes, sometimes more and I am looking at ways to cut corners so I can save even more.

I am worried about a second Great Depression in this country, and I am not alone in my thinking. LIVE SMALL and get your wife on the same page.
Issues
Probably depends on state laws or any neighborhood covenant rules you might have. But if it is free to roam, I'm not sure if the law would see it as a pet. So then I wonder if there are laws about feeding deer. Is this one deer the only one in your neighborhood? Nobody keeps deer as pets here, but with a swamp and bits of wooded areas around, we see deer in the next neighborhood frequently. They only come into our yard and eat my hostas when there is a serious drought and their food supply diminishes.

Fencing has to be 10 feet high to control deer. Seems like the neighbors should be feeding the deer more food than they are if there is any hope of keeping it from devastating landscape plants.
Sorry for your issues...
Before I became an MT I used to work in nursing homes and assisted living. I had some elderly family as well.

I am sorry you are having this problem. Sometimes the person you are worried about does not have a grip on the reality of their situation.

My MIL lost my FIL about 9 months ago. A year before that she had her left leg amputated above the knee. Due to several issues, she is wheelchair bound and cannot do. When FIL died she was incapable of caring for herself, though she insisted that she could. It actually took her having an "incident" in order to convince her otherwise.

My grandma had to be put in a care center because she had issues similar to yours. My aunt was the one who took care of her and there was no way otherwise to do it. They tried everything, an aide to come in during the day, etc. This woman was so ticked off she didn't speak to my aunt for 2 months. She did eventually get over it.

What I think is that you need to get as many family members involved in this as you can. Make it very clear that you fear for her safety and wellbeing. If she is mad at you, let her be angry. It is not all at you. Some of it is the fact that she just cannot do things she used to do. They all go through it, kind of like a grieving period.

I have no other advice to offer you, but do stand your ground if you truly believe it is a safety issue. The guilt you feel right now is nothing compared to what you would feel if you backed down and the woman actually fell at your place and got hurt.
IMO I believe many men have issues because of their
xx