Home     Contact Us    
Main Board Job Seeker's Board Job Wanted Board Resume Bank Company Board Word Help Medquist New MTs Classifieds Offshore Concerns VR/Speech Recognition Tech Help Coding/Medical Billing
Gab Board Politics Comedy Stop Health Issues
ADVERTISEMENT




Serving Over 20,000 US Medical Transcriptionists

Please join with me in weeping over my weight and sleep issues.

Posted By: sm on 2007-04-20
In Reply to:

Work is slow right now (and has been for a while).  I am getting up earlier to get a few lines, going to sleep later hoping to get a few lines, and taking a nap in between to make up for lack of sleep.  My 8 hour job has turned into 18, and my weight is trying desperately to keep pace.  I eat when I am bored.  I do not want to leave and go shopping just in case work should happen to appear.  My house is clean.  The dogs well fed.  Everything is fine except for my scale.  I really wish I could get a scale that lied, that way it would fit in with my job.  EMPLOYER: You would only be expected to work an 8 hour day.  EMPLOYEE (4 weeks later): Yeah right.  Eight hour days give or take 10 hours.  ME GETTING ON MY SCALE: You weigh only XX amount of pounds.  SCALE’S RESPONSE: Darling, you are too beautiful, and you weigh 10 pounds less then yesterday. 




Complete Discussion Below: marks the location of current message within thread

The messages you are viewing are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select the boards given in left menu


Other related messages found in our database

Applicants with weight issues are usually charged higher
NM
Anyone find as you get older you get a more interrupted sleep pattern and sleep less and wake up
more at night.  Any suggestions for this.
Sleep....beautiful sleep.... nm
.
Anyone want to join me....sm
at my pity party tonight?  I'm feeling really sad.  My oldest granddaughter's birthday is one week before mine, both of them coming up soon - not that the birthday itself bothers me, but I'm remembering how last year was the first year that I had been able to celebrate both with my youngest daughter.  Since then, my ex and I have separated - which I think I'm handling pretty well.  But being estranged once again from my baby is so hard to cope with - I had felt we were VERY close as she was growing up, and I truly don't know what I have done to turn her the other way.  I'm just grateful that my oldest daughter and I seem to have become closer in the last six months, even compared to when I lived with her after her divorce to help out with her children.
Better yet, see if you can join a
credit union. I have been in one since 1969. They pay me every month with interest instead of charging me handling. Not that it is very much, still 30 cents or whatever is better than being charged whatever the current rates are.
Join the club!
I cannot get mine threaded! Couldn't believe that. Will wait until after the holidays to try again.

Let him join 4H by all means

My neice has participated in 4H going on her 5th year since she was 8.  jShes' now 12 and she shows her horse, plus she does enters cooking projects, art, scrapbooking, and crafts.  There are so many different interests and programs for any kid.  Besides horses, there are rabbits and guinea pigs, plus all the assorted farm animals.  There's archery and competetive shooting.  Public speaking, woodworking, art projects, cooking, sewing, dog training, just about anything you can think of.  Your son doesn't not have to have a horse to participate.  Join a club that has a horse group.  A lot of times the leaders have horses they'll loan a kid for the year or know someone who will.  Don't let that stop you.  If you're in a position to do it, you can lease a horse.  That's what we did at first, we leased her horse for 6 months and then ended up buying him.  4H helps keep them out of trouble.  Teaches them responsibility and gives them self-esteem.  It's a family organization, so you and your husband can partiicipate if you like, they're always looking for adult volunteers.  Check with the county extension office where you live or in another county, if you like.  You should be able to find info online.  There's no residency requirement.  Tell them what you're looking for and they'll try to find a club that's a good fit for your son. 


Kendra, join in whenever. You would think with all the
negative that NO one else ever heard some of these things. Now, really! I left out some really juicy ones. Guess I will have to do a part 2, you think?
I am only 5Ƈ". When I weight my desired weight (sm)
my face looks bad - drawn.  I like myself best when I weigh about 140-150. 
I'm so with you! I did join WW, and it seems to be the only thing that works for me.
I only do it online, though. I don't go to meetings. But I do count up the points. I'm Italian and grew up eating a healthy mediterranean diet, pasta, a little bit of meal, lots and lots of vegetables and fish. But, I got away from it. Lucky for me I like a lot of good things, I just have to motivate myself to prepare them. And because I'm Italian, I just can't, can't do the no-bread thing. I think refined carbs are bad, and I struggle with sugar cravings. I like sweet things, and I've been trying to detox from them.
I have a funny video about dieting and no carbs from Lewis Black posted on myspace. (myspace.com/lellers). It always makes me laugh because I like my bread! I think that if I can stay away from the sweet treats, (and yes, exercise), I'll get the extra weight off. But, oh! I do love ice cream and pie!
I know you probably don't want to hear this - but join a church! sm
I would be homeless and helpless without my church friends/family. They are better to me than my own family.
i received numerous cards and most were from church folks. There are people who care! I wish I had your name and address because I'd send you something special. I'm serious.
1. Go back to counseling. 2. Join a SM
divorce singles group. They are all over. Many churches have them.

3. Volunteer. You get to feel good about yourself and get to meet other people.

Good luck. I've been there.
I think you do want to join you're just to shy to say so - group hug? nm
x
8 things I really did not want to know about you (I will start and join in)

 


1)  I love to smell gas, damp cellars, wet grass (the mowing kind!)


 


2) I love green olives but most of all I love to drink the juice also.


 


3)  Got angry with my father, moved, changed my phone number and did not give him the new address or number for months.


 


4)  I could never be Angelina Jolie because I would rather adopt animals rather than children.


 


5)  Oh, no one knows this, got angry in the 2nd grade at another girl jumping me in the line before going to lunch and stuck my pencil into the top of her head in a hissy-fit. I still remember her name.


 


6)  Had my first sexual encounter at age 15 at my mother’s home and hid the sheets, of all places, under my next door neighbor’s house. Over the many years since he and I have occasionally called each other. I still dream though don’t touch.


 


7)  I have some different eating habits. I used to eat white rice, milk and sugar as a breakfast food (the rice bothers me now so don’t eat as much) and I also tear up white bread and put in regular milk- I know it is soggy and my family gags but have done this all my life.


 


8)  Happily married now for 9 years but OMG can never forget about that delicious sex I had with my ex-husband. I mean, Delicious with a capital D.


I'll join you in Jurassic Park!
I'm a dinosaur, too. I don't see the need for teenagers to have their own cars. But, my eldest did inherit his grandfather's sturdy little car. He was nearly 18 when that happened, and his high school was in the next county. For the last six months of school, he skipped the hour-long bus ride and was able to drive to school and save about 40 minutes in his commute to school. He drove on the days he needed to be home to work after school at a movie theater, about 12 hours a week. He was also a great help to me in driving his younger brothers to events when my schedule was over-booked.

I have friends who gift their children brand new, expensive cars at the age of 16, and I just don't understand that. The kids seem to be using the vehicles to further their social lives, and they certainly aren't paying attention to the road. And you are very correct about so many angry and distracted drivers on the road. It's a scary thing to put a teenager on the road alone. This is why we raised the age level to 17 in our home, even though the Commonwealth of PA seems to think that 16-1/2 is age appropriate for driving.
Hey, I'll join you if you're paying ;-)
And I was just stressing over paying $500 for rental car (I'm driving), hotel, and baseball tickets for a rinky-dink 3-day trip 250 miles down the road. Still have to spring for gas money and food, but I'm feeling a little better after reading your post LOL. Of course, I'm not going to Las Vegas...

Well, have fun anyhow!! :-)
Yes, you ladies, join in with me and share your 8 things!! nm
l
join me --- misery loves company

Truthfully, though, no one can quit until it's their time.  I just had to finally get really disgusted with myself.  I owe this to my child.  My best friend just died at age 54 two weeks ago from lung cancer.  My father died at age 58 of the same.  My sister is currently in the hospital with pulmonary emboli (even though she has never smoked).  And lastly, rumor has it the price is going up to $8 a pack in my state.  By just not smoking for the last five days, I already have an extra $50 in my wallet.  Wow.  I am the smartest woman and I know, and yet how can I continue to be so stupid?  That's where I'm at mentally.  I really want to succeed this time.  Now, where are those carrot sticks?


 


Expanded for you in above post...You're welcome to join mine...SM
With your sense of humor, you'd fit right in with the down to earth part of us!! My DD (dear daughter) would have a blast trying to make us think she was innocent enough that she doesn't understand a bunch of your jokes!! She's 13 and negotiating that Mommy's Little Angle versus Teenage Devil part of life, and tries to hold back the snickers when a dirty joke is told. The good old days were when she was reading a page of blond jokes and really didn't understand the ones with sexual inuendo. How quickly those days went by...
How to deal with compulsive liars: If you can't beat them, join them.
x
I'll join you!! I agree.made me cry too, love this stuff!
xx
My 19-year-old daughter wants to join the Army. I'm very scared at the thought. Any advice out th
Before the Iraq war, I would have been more excited that she wanted to do something positive with her life for a change, but this thought is scary as we know people that have lost their children in the war. I know in some ways this could turn her life around and be what she needs as she is very immature and is going down the wrong road, but are there other alternatives.  A lot of people tell us it's still a good time for kids. Any thoughts out there?
Lab here with some issues.
We can't figure out what the problem is either. I give her a bath every other day with dog shampoo made from dry skin dogs and that seems to help her the rest of that day and part of the following one.
She must have some serious issues (sm)

Psychologists say that people who take pleasure in running other people down have no self-esteem, are usually unhappy with their lives, and it kind of lifts them up to run someone else down.  Maybe we should feel sorry for her. Uh.  Maybe tomorrow.


Not sure what his issues are

My son is not very honest.  When I had him for my summer visitation this year, he talked about possibly wanting to stay here, but kept changing his mind constantly.  Finally he said he wishes he could try living with me for a year and see if he liked it.  I told him his dad would never go for that (the ex is now on an SSI disability and is also drawing SSI for my son - so his motives for keeping him there are very financial).  My son admits one major thing holding him back is he likes his school and his friends and doesn't want to leave them.  Its up to my son to decide when he's had enough and is ready to tell the judge he wants out of there and stick with it. I'm not pressuring him to make a change.


During our epic custody battle, the whole thing started because my son said "get me out of here" and started telling horror stories, which were mostly true, from what I saw firsthand.  I made sure he got a CASA (his own court-appointed advocate) so his side would be told to an "impartial" third party.  But my son was not honest.  He changed his mind and stories constantly and protecting daddy suddenly became a big deal.  He recanted everything he told me, my mother, and relatives on his dad's side (seeing his father and other adults naked, physical abuse, drugs/drinking going on, etc.) - either he said it never happened or his memory completely disappeared on issues where I had firsthand knowledge that it was true.  When the golden moment came to advise the CASA what his wishes were, suddenly he was quite happy at dad's, and didn't really care which parent he lived with.


This is one reason I have to see something in writing from my son before I grab this hot potato again.  I love him, but I cannot trust that he won't make me look like a fool and waste endless time and money to help him, when he does a 180 and wants no help when help arrives.  He claims to be disgusted by his father's drug use, but refuses to get him in trouble, even when I assure him I begged the court repeatedly to drug test us both and see the truth and the court declined to touch that issue.  He has pondered whether to play hardball with his dad and give an ultimatum that if he doesn't get off drugs he'll come live with me - this shows me at this time he still wants to be there or he would gladly walk away.


Other issues?

Most, if not all, of someone's "other psych issues" with their gender identity comes from society's attitude toward it.  Once they have completely transitioned, most of those issues go away.


"Psych issues" usually include -


being forced into an uncomfortable gender by an accident of birth and told they can do nothing about it


being treated like a monster by family and friends who can't accept that they need to change


being treated like a pariah and a target by perfect strangers who think its OK to abuse them any way they please, up to and including murder


finding it nearly impossible to find romance, because few are open minded enough to deal with this personally, given a choice


very messy situations in the workforce while trying to transition - mainly caused by coworker's opinions and attitudes


people in general who refuse to see the person but only see the gender issue, and judge the person automatically without educating themselves on the condition at all


My son, who is in the process of becoming my daughter, passes so well as "female" that unless you knew what's in that person's pants, you'd never know she's "male".  Once legally transitioned (with all the paperwork changed to reflect female gender), nobody that meets my daughter will see her as a freak.  It is only people that knew her before, as a male, that will have problems with "her".  So as long as those people continue to give her grief, yes, it will cause "psych issues", just as lifelong harrassment and judgmental ignorance against you would cause anyone some "psych issues".


You have several issues here sm
First, mortgages are no longer a wise investment. The general trend is towards home values going down, not up. You could well end up 10 years from now owing more than you can sell the house for. I have had this happen to me.

You have GOT to live within your means. If your wife is overspending, she needs help. Yes, overspending is a pathology!

Downsizing even further is probably your best solution, after your wife has addressed her issues with spending more than you have. Being house poor is a fool's journey into madness, especially because with gas prices continuing to rise, as food may be a real luxury soon.

I have downsized twice in the last 5 years, in part because my family grew up and left home, and the last time because it made economic sense. I live in an older trailer house, but it is lovely inside...warm and comfortable. Ashamed of it? NO WAY it is paid for IN FULL and MINE. It was a wise move. I am now able (and motivated) to save about 25% of my income after taxes, sometimes more and I am looking at ways to cut corners so I can save even more.

I am worried about a second Great Depression in this country, and I am not alone in my thinking. LIVE SMALL and get your wife on the same page.
Issues
Probably depends on state laws or any neighborhood covenant rules you might have. But if it is free to roam, I'm not sure if the law would see it as a pet. So then I wonder if there are laws about feeding deer. Is this one deer the only one in your neighborhood? Nobody keeps deer as pets here, but with a swamp and bits of wooded areas around, we see deer in the next neighborhood frequently. They only come into our yard and eat my hostas when there is a serious drought and their food supply diminishes.

Fencing has to be 10 feet high to control deer. Seems like the neighbors should be feeding the deer more food than they are if there is any hope of keeping it from devastating landscape plants.
Sorry for your issues...
Before I became an MT I used to work in nursing homes and assisted living. I had some elderly family as well.

I am sorry you are having this problem. Sometimes the person you are worried about does not have a grip on the reality of their situation.

My MIL lost my FIL about 9 months ago. A year before that she had her left leg amputated above the knee. Due to several issues, she is wheelchair bound and cannot do. When FIL died she was incapable of caring for herself, though she insisted that she could. It actually took her having an "incident" in order to convince her otherwise.

My grandma had to be put in a care center because she had issues similar to yours. My aunt was the one who took care of her and there was no way otherwise to do it. They tried everything, an aide to come in during the day, etc. This woman was so ticked off she didn't speak to my aunt for 2 months. She did eventually get over it.

What I think is that you need to get as many family members involved in this as you can. Make it very clear that you fear for her safety and wellbeing. If she is mad at you, let her be angry. It is not all at you. Some of it is the fact that she just cannot do things she used to do. They all go through it, kind of like a grieving period.

I have no other advice to offer you, but do stand your ground if you truly believe it is a safety issue. The guilt you feel right now is nothing compared to what you would feel if you backed down and the woman actually fell at your place and got hurt.
IMO I believe many men have issues because of their
xx
I think she has some serious issues....
--
Seriously, you have issues...
She did not make it sound like she could not get out of bed...
My son has similar issues right now...
My son has similar issues right now with very dry skin. Under his bottom lip area is very dry and chaffed. We have tried vasoline and other creams, but nothing is helping really good to the point that the dryness goes away. It is a very dry area, but it has not developed into an open sore of any kind...yet. The pediatrician said to just keep it moisterized and that it will go away soon, but it is just not going away. Any advice to this skin problem is greatly appreciated too! :)
Hubby obviously has issues
That the two of you can work on/out at a time that is much less stressful, so when situations occur, you're prepared.

If it had been me, at the moment he started screaming and yelling, I would have taken the kids and left the house. I would not have exposed my kids to all that anger, and making excuses for him doesn't make it all right. Yelling at you and the kids is abuse. If he wants to rant and rave by golly, he can do it by himself.

I would think only if there are other serious medical issues
related to the alcoholism. It probably has to be pretty severe. That's sad.
Does someone have virility issues!
Don't lie about it and let him know you are taking the pill for sure. Next he will be going to the doc to check his little swimmers and when he finds nothing wrong he will insist on you getting checked and then the truth will rear its ugly head. Sit down and talk about it. If you are both financially capable of carrying for children and providing for thier futures then there is more to discuss but he should be open to your feelings. I don't know your age or the ages of your children, but let him know that you might want to wait a while longer. Working at home, with children is enough but the barefoot and pregnant thing is just pushing it. Definitely do not do this if your relationship is rocky and he thinks another child will help. If he is just testing his virility tell him to grow a beard, it's a lot quicker and cheaper.
Does she have medical issues? sm
That may help in knowing where to look. Good luck to you!
p.s. as in landfill issues
plastic water bottles. Can you imagine how long those take to break down naturally? what about metal cans? We stopped buying bottled water and only buy sodas in aluminum cans so we can recycle them. I'm not trying to tell anybody not to buy canned air here, just realize there are alternatives to buying mass produced crap that's more expensive than a cheap (yet time consuming) solution :) I do something like that while I watch TV so i don't feel so nonproductive lol
Litter Box Issues

She is showing classic signs of a UTI. She should be checked out by a vet as urinary issues can be deadly in cats if not treated as soon as possible.


I live in the country and all my cats have always been indoor cats. One lived to the age of 21.


What is your reasoning for allowing her to roam outside? Is she UTD with vaccinations? (as in all her kitty vaccs, nothing more)


Wow...you know what? this is one of our more minor issues (sm)
More and more I am realizing I have to get out. I have been talking to an older friend recently who is telling me that I have never really even had a marriage. He has done the e-mail thing for a long time. He sends me a note that says, "Put this on your calendar". No questions asked. And oftentimes, I learn about his future plans through other people, who know before I do!
thyroid issues
Do you still have a lot of hypo and hyper symptoms?  You could be under treated.  Go have a look at http://www.stopthethyroidmadness.com/ if you haven't seen the site already.  There's also a patient-to-patient forum at http://www.realthyroidhelp.com/.  Things you might need to address are B12 and adrenals as these are key with converting the thyroid and getting it into your cells.  Most hypo people have taxed out adrenals. Hopefully if you deal with that stuff, you'll see improvement in your hair. 
Stepson issues
My stepson is 19 years old and has become a major problem for me.  Here is some background.  I met my husband when his child was 6 years old.  The boy’s mother was an absolute nightmare and, long story short, he came to live with us when he was 9.  His mother since has had nothing to do with him, except occasionally raising her ugly head to cause trouble for our family, but nothing as far as mothering him in any way, shape or form.  A side note is that she has some serious mental and emotional issues.  Once he came to live with us, I have mothered him and supported him throughout his years in elementary school, middle school and high school, doing everything for him as far as school and sports were concerned and we were very close up until he was about 15.  Things really started to go downhill when he was about 16.  He is, academically, very bright and was on the high honor roll every year from the 7th grade to about the 11th grade.  That is when his grades and his attitude became horrible.  He came very close to not even graduating from high school, but he pulled through and, by the skin of his teeth, managed to graduate.  Outside the home, he seemed to be an angel, but at home he was very disrespectful and rude to both his father and myself and his little brother (11 years younger than himself).  He became very snide and mean-spirited and if anyone dared to question his actions or attitude, he would throw a fit, start screaming and swearing at the top of his lungs.  Some of the things he has said to me in the past were beyond disrespectful and well into hateful.  His father never seemed to want to punish him in any way. (I think because he just did not want to deal with his outbursts.)  Fast forward, after a miserable summer, he went off to college about 2-1/2 hours away.  I was actually relieved and hoped that maybe some time on his own would make him rethink his attitude at home.  Another issue is that he absolutely refuses to do anything close to resembling work to get money for himself, which is a big deal for me, because I think having a good work ethic is important.  His father said that because his grades were good, he was not going to push the working issue.  He came home after his first year with same crap attitude, had a miserable summer with him and he went back to school…. same old, same old.  Now Christmas break is here and he is home.  The first thing he does is fight with his father about working over break, which we made clear to him that it was an expectation.  Suddenly, low and behold, he does not think he is going to be able to get hours life guarding.  I started to feel a little better about things when he was able to get a couple shifts and at least he made some sort of effort.  Last night, he was going to take his brother to a wrestling match, which I was glad and appreciated.  It was my youngest son’s birthday present and he had been looking forward to going with his brother.  We gave them 25.00 for parking and snacks and my youngest had 10.00 of his own money that he saved from his birthday to get whatever he wanted, program, etc.  The event ended about 10:30 and they were on the road home (about a 15-minute drive).  An hour later, I call the cell phone and ask where they are, answer was on the road.  I explained to my stepson that his brother had school and I wanted him right home.  15 minutes later I call again and my stepson asks me if I am an F*ing retard and he said he was on the way home.  I knew he was lying immediately.  I asked to speak to my son, and he said no, so now I’m really mad.  They finally get home and I ask my younger son where they went.  He tells that they stopped at his grandmother’s to get something to eat because his brother would not let him get anything at wrestling, but please don’t tell his brother he told because he told him not to say anything to me.  I asked if he got a souvenir with his money.  The answer was no because his brother would not let him get anything.  By this point, I am furious, but just get him ready to go to bed and hit the hay myself.  Of course, if I said anything to my stepson, there would be screaming and swearing, and I hate when he behaves this way in front of my 8-year-old.  This morning, I asked where my change was from the wrestling.  Except for parking and 1 soda, there should be about 25.00 left.  He tells me that he is keeping that money to put gas in his car and just refused to give it to me.  I am so upset about this that my stomach is in knots.  I truly dislike him and just wish he would go away.  He has been nothing but a problem for the past 4 years and I am worn out and over it.  My level of anxiety is through the roof.  I feel terrible for feeling this way, but I am resentful of him and misery he causes our family.  I just wish he would go back to school and stay there.  I know that this is way too long, but I had to let this out.
Toofy issues
Hey PAMT -

Is it imperative that the tooth be pulled? A crown would work, but that would need to go over the existing tooth.

A Maryland bridge is probably not good for a front tooth as it is not translucent, has metal "wings" that attach to each tooth along side the empty space. It's usually reserved for side/back teeth.

Google Encore Bridge - but for that you need two healthy teeth on either side.

Don't hesitate to get more than just your dentist's opinion, but I'd stay away from the mall dentist/franchise ones.

My dad used to coach peewee football and would try out plays on me. When I was 7 he had me run for a pass from the living room to the kitchen. I ran in true receiver fashion, forward, head turned to look over left shoulder, hands out ready to catch, and I caught that ball like a pro - then dove on the kitchen floor chipping my front tooth in half on the diagonal. I now have a crown, and it's been great!

Good Luck!!

Does anyone else have SI pain or issues? sm
I think I have finally come to my own conclusion that my severe pain is from SI dysfunction/strain, etc.  Does anyone have any solutions/suggestions to help this while still trying to sit and work all day?  I have tried ice, heat, muscle relaxants, NSAIDs all to still have severe pain. 
Yes, I know what you mean about the doctrinal issues..sm
but, I just stayed focused on the actual principles of physiological hunger and eating half portions and filling the void with prayer and Bible reading, and I lost 35 pounds. Unfortunately over the last four years I lost my focus and got back in the rut of eating on a schedule and not according to hunger, and gained 20 back. But, I restarted this week as a matter of fact and I am going to get back on track.
We DO discuss men issues. Bob & his ED, the
x
Gnat Issues
If there are from your potting soil in your house plants, try repotting all of your plants with new soil and adding a thin layer of beach sand/play sand to the top of the soil and only watering your plants every 3-4 days. If they are coming from your drains, try dumping some bleach and boiling water down the drains.

I hope this helps

Angie
Food issues sm
Yes, you probably have an issue. It is not exactly normal to spend a great deal of time thinking about food.

You have several things going on, most of them mixed messages:
1. You grew up poor, so you were told not to waste food.
2. At the same time you were told not to waste, you were told you were getting too heavy.
3. Your *helpful* husband is carrying on with an old pattern from growing up. Helpful not the work I would use for it, either.
4. You have your own thoughts about your weight and what you want, but your brain drain from the above is controlling it somewhat.
5. NOT being able to drop weight without a lot of work plays into your issues.
6. You WILL get hungry and then what? Self-control sort of goes out the window after a while.

I feel your pain and I think a counselor might be a good idea. Feel free to email me, because I am in your boat right there with you!
what about the transportation issues
I agree, it is so much easier on the days that the kids are busy with afterschool activities and sports.  But my question is:  How do you sign kids up for activities when you work all day?  How do they get there?  And how do they get home?  She is too old for daycare and too young to hang out with kids who drive.  LOL.  She is in the middle, and as you know it is a difficult age!  So what can kids do at 13 when school is closed and no one is available to drive but still stay out of trouble?  It's nice when they hang out here but then I get no work done and end up pulling all my hair out.
He very obviously has some anger issues s/m
and a restraining order would be appropriate.  For all the phone calls, there is a special code you can put in after someone calls you, for harrassment calls.  You would have to call your local phone company to find out.  Every time he calls, you dial that code and the phone company traces the call.  They will not release the information to you, but only to the police.  This would prove stalking.  I was getting some prank calls and they would block their number and this is what the phone company said to do and if it didn't stop, they would turn it in for "appropriate action."  I would do it on the home phone and cell phone.  I would also start taking pictures whenever he is in the driveway with a camera that date/time stamps the pictures.  Best of luck to you.
I am sorry to hear about your issues
The only thing I can say is I went through bankruptcy years and years ago and no one came to check on anything, not what I had in my home, my bank account, nothing. That may have changed but 1 thing I will say is for years afterwards I did not try to buy anything on credit. When I finally decided to apply for credit again my slate was completely clear like I had never had credit (bad or good) in the first place. I now have credit beyond reproach and have kept it like that for years. My exhubby talked me into it basically, probably not needed for me at the time I did but basically not hurt by it. I wish you luck and really sorry to hear the luck is down right now, really I am.