spanking, not beating.

Teens this day and age have no fear, of anything, it seems. Back in my days of growing up, just the thought of my parents finding out I did something I wasn't suppose to, was enough for me to keep myself in line.

And NO, we were never beaten, but did get a few pats with the belt, which were far and few inbetween.

• spanking, not beating. - sm.
  • getting the belt is beating - check with your - local CPS - it's child abuse
    • It's only child abuse if you hit them hard enough - to leave a mark. Yes, you can
      • you sound a little sadistic to me. - they're just kids for crying out loud
        • I wasn't suggesting to use a belt. I've never used one - just saying it isn't
          • And by the way...I counsel for CPS and help - with training seminars
            • and why do you think that is? - sm
  • For many kids - it works!
    • it works to do what - relieve your - frustration? sm
      • There is a huge difference between ...sm - mtmomof3
        • To me it seems - for a raise?
          • I completely agree.....sm - SOOOO Agree with spanking, which is NOT the same a
            • Yes, brainwashed is - the correct word sm
            • and at what point is it considered - crossing the line? sm
              • I think too many people.... - spanker
                • I don't automatically think spanking is abuse - but the OP that started this thread
                • Agree. Well said. NM - mt

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I already know what I must do.  I know I'm going to have to call CPS.  Here's the thing:  Dan and I both drop off our boys (8 years old) at school every morning.  Sometimes after school he and I and the boys go to a local diner for coffee and cocoa.  We've been those drop the kids off kind of friends, both single, but nothing more.  (We could never get along because our parenting styles vary so differently.)  He is VERY strict with his son.  I raise my child with love and respect.  His child lies and steals, mine does not.

This morning, after the kids were inside, he stated to me:  "Tonight he gets the stick.  I told him to choose between losing hockey or the stick, and he chose the stick."  Apparently, the child does not move quickly enough in the morning and the reason they are often late is because he tricks his father, like turning on the water and pretending to brush his teeth, then climbing back in bed.  (Which was today's offense.)  I have made it very clear to him he is way too strict, that the outcome will not be as he expects.  "That's the way I was raised," he states. 

I don't know his address.  I do know the address of the school.  So, apparently, what I have to do is tell him that I will be calling CPS and reporting him, which might be the only obvious way to avoid this evenings' "stick."  Sure, I guess this will cost me our friendship, but the child's safety is the only thing involved.  However, the child's mother is even worse than the father.  He obtained her as a mail-order bride, they are now divorced, she is on her fifth American husband, and is even more abusive to the child.  Have I already answered my own question? 

Here is a quick question for all of you that think that the spanking from the school is okay and before any of you make any snap judgements, I was spanked as a child and when my children were smaller, they too were spanked(BY THEIR PARENTS)....Do you all realize that this school that uses these "swats" as punishment, would be on the phone immediately if they saw you or found out that you "swatted" that same child as punishment for deeds done wrong at home? Since nowadays they want to tell you what you can and cannot do as a parent to acutally parent your child( and then of course complain about said kids nowadays), that by alloing them to do something to your child that they would gladly report you for is quite ridiculous.

How long is this ISS.  For five tardies..it sure as heck shouldn't be a whole day or even a half day..it should be something realistic.  Yes, I do know what it is like to have to deal with school principals who are jerks, just remember that this is your child and not theirs and that it is your job to look out for them.

If you really feel that just to get this over with right now, you want to let them swat her, that is your choice but since she is so obviously not interested in ISS, I would definitely make sure that she and the school knows that this is a one time pass and yes, I too would either make her do some work around the house or take something away if only for the hassle.

Btw, five tardies in 4 or 5 months is really not that terrible IMO.  That is about one a month.  My goodness, we all assumed it was cause she talks anyone think that maybe the girl had to use the bathroom during her time of the month.  I would also find out when she was tardy and how tardy.  My son was given a tardy cause the bus was late getting him to school and I called and let them know that that is not acceptable in my book.  They had given several kids on his bus tardies and after several phone calls and a check with the bus company, the tardies were removed.  Yes, if my son had been chatting or something,  I would not have bothered to call, I would have just remind him that tardiness of his own making is not acceptable.

Best of luck. 

said it was okay to give 'em the belt.  That is abuse, plain and simple.  If you feel a need to spank your child, then do it with your own hand, not another object.  It's too easy to hit too hard with an object because you're not feeling the pain you're subjecting them to. 

As for the gov't interfering, they have to because there are too many wackos in this world that do beat their kids to a pulp.  If they all parented with a little more sense, like you obvioulsy do, then I would agree that the gov't shouldn't interefere, but unfortunately the wackos of this world don't care.

It sounds to me as if you're raising some wonderful children.  You've definitely offered up some very good advice.  I saw no where in your post where you said that you've used a belt, and I'm not saying that you did.  I'm simply referring to the OP that started this thread that beating with a belt is abuse.