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Real Life 'Dilbert-type' Managers

Posted By: Managers on 2005-10-25
In Reply to:

"My boss spent the entire weekend retyping a 25-page proposal that only needed corrections. She claims the disk I gave her was damaged and she couldn't edit it. The disk I gave her was write-protected." (CIO of Dell Computers)

Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say." (Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)

My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said, "That would be better for me." (Shipping executive, FTD Florists)

"We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees." (Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)

We recently received a memo from senior management saying: "This is to inform you that a memo will be issued today regarding the memo mentioned above." (Microsoft, Legal Affairs Division)

One day my Boss asked me to submit a status report to him concerning a project I was working on. I asked him if tomorrow would be soon enough. He said, "If I wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow to ask for it!" (New business manager, Hallmark Greeting Cards.)

As director of communications, I was asked to prepare a memo reviewing our company's training programs and materials. In the body of the memo in one of the sentences I mentioned the "pedagogical approach" used by one of the training manuals. The day after I routed the memo to the executive committee, I was called into the HR director's office, and told that the executive vice president wanted me out of the building by lunch. When I asked why, I was told that she wouldn't stand for perverts (pedophiles?) working in her company. Finally, he showed me her copy of the memo, with her demand that I be fired and the word "pedagogical" circled in red. The HR manager was fairly reasonable, and once he looked the word up in his dictionary and made a copy of the definition to send back to her, he told me not to worry. He would take care of it. Two days later, a memo to the entire staff came out directing us that no words which could not be found in the local Sunday newspaper could be used in company memos. A month later, I resigned. In accordance with company policy, I created my resignation memo by pasting words together from the Sunday paper. (Taco Bell Corporation)

"As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks."
(This was the winning quote from Fred Dales at Microsoft Corp. in Redmond, WA.)

"What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter."
(Lykes Lines Shipping)

"E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business."
(Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)

"This project is so important, we can't let things that are more important interfere with it."
(Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)

"Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule."
(Plant manager, Delco Corporation)

"No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them."
R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)

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I have heard over and over and in real life,
not reel life. Commonly used except white people and others who say get blasted for using it.
Real-Life MT Stories Wanted!
Real-Life MT Stories Wanted!  Diane Fusco, a veteran MT and freelance writer, is compiling stories for a book about what she wished she knew as a beginning MT.  Newbies, old-timers and everyone in between are encouraged to tell her the pros and cons of being an MT.  No real names will be used.  No payment but I will give you a copy of the book if I use your story.  Thanks for reading this! Email Diane at Karelia30[at]aol.com
Did you ever notice how many real life situations (sm)

there are where you can say it reminds you of a Seinfeld episode?!  I still watch reruns - never get sick of it.

Oh i was, but I'm involved in a real life heart transplant story.
hits me twice as hard.
middle managers/acct managers
Most of the time they have no control over what is going on either. They are employees just like the MTs who do what the upper crust tells them to do. They have no control, none of us do....
I think I'm just more relaxed and real. When you type the worst that can
You feel better. You didn't have that happen to YOU.
Cook it real slow at real low heat; simmer, don't boil.
Another example of how managers

This is part of an e-mail from a QA Manager, for crying out loud!

Please note that when you get feedback from a QA specialist, they go by these guild lines if the account allows and it is of the utmost importance to take note and change transcriptoin style if it does not reflect these guidelines.


Managers are just that - managers
they make schedules, they place people on accounts, and manage workflow. You really don't need to be an MT to do that. I myself would never want that responsibility of handling all the disgruntlement, complaints, sick days, time off, blah, blah, blah. Of late, I notice more companies are going to the concept of having a team lead who also types, handles the schedules, does evaluations, etc. everything that a manager would do. I personally like this arrangement better because they know where you're coming from because they're right there with you. Teamwork really does work best, makes people more productive and is less intimidating.
I'd be right in the managers office. That's just not right.
Amphion managers
. . . and if you know the salaries those women make to hound you about line counts, you would flip!
To MTSOs or QA Managers
I recently took over QA for a small company just purchased.  Previously there had been essentially no QA rules.   If any of you could send me examples of how your QA is set up, the percentages you deduct for errors - common, critical, etc., it would be most appreciated.  Any rewards given for high QA or deductions would be appreciated as well.
Most have office managers.
They are the ones who deal with hiring people and services like transcription. Most times the doctor has no idea, and don't want to know. That's why they hire the managers!
Life is life....the haven't bonded the same as if it were a 2-year-old!
So I am the one doing the labor and get 8 cpl. Frank and all the managers
need a little something-something for all their "hard" work.  We MTs are so
Of course you second this. That's what MQ managers do. Doesn't make it right

or relevant.  Keep putting out those fires of MQ discontent, or at least until the big guns with the lawsuits put out MQ for good.

What a crummy job you have to defend big business against the little guys who are just trying to make a living.  Kinda have to sell your soul doncha? 


I didn't think former bank managers
made any mistakes.
DQS only does what it is told to do by the account managers -
Whichever company you work for can set up DQS to count lines any way it wants to. Hence, if your line count seems incorrect it has nothing to do with the DQS program itself, but with how the company you work for manipulates how various Keystrokes or lines are counted. The same olds true for how many jobs you pull at one time. Both of these features are able to be manipulated by actual people.
You misunderstand. I'm overhearing the managers
talking about other employees, and I've told them I can hear them when they do it. So you want me to "get over it" that they talk about other employees in front of me? Am I supposed to get over the facet one of them left a copy of all the employees' pay rates on the printer for hours? What if your info were being leaked around an office where you worked? Would you get over it?

I found a new job, and I'm helping some of the other employees find new ones, too. Seems more logical and helpful than "getting over it."
More like 90% are completely inept managers.
I have one currently who is good but the rest have been the pits, pits, pits.  And they're getting worse. 
Beef about account managers
I'll say right off which company I'm talking about, it's DTS out of TN.  I'm not mad, just at the point of head banging.  I'd really like to know what it is that some account managers do and where they get them. I transcribe on several accounts and without fail, not one of them seems to know anything about the account.  One particular one, "GK", I'll email with a question and IF she answers back, it will be somebody else's question, an "I don't know" or "where did you read that" (well DUH I read it in the account instructions).  You get doctor lists that came out before modern medicine was invented and after requesting new ones 10-20 times, you just give up (some you can't get online).  Then you get emails if you leave a blank for a doctor or feedback from QA that they can't find them either.  Two accounts are GONE just this month, wonder if this has anything to do with it?
K-Mart managers...Good money! Yes!
You have GOT to be kidding. I don't know about TODAY'S wages, but K-Mart, (or Safeway or Target, etc)managers USED to make GREAT money!! Yes, they DO prefer a 4-year business degree. These are/were not low paying jobs. Minus the business degree, one would have to play "work up" and it could take 20+ years to get up that high. The pay was about 4-6 times higher than a beginning school teacher last I knew.
Because owners, managers, and CEOs are all trying to cut costs
so they can make as much moolah as possible.  EVERY OTHER JOB I have ever had provided on the job training, EVEN the salaried professional white collar positions.  Going to school or college does NOT train a person to automatically step into a position knowing everything.  Nurses, doctors, lawyers, managers, HR directors, personal bankers, vice presidents, all of them had apprenticeships, internships, training, or worked their way up.  MT is the only field I know of where nobody is willing to train or mentor newbies.  The training at my last MT job consisted of an emailed two-page explanation of how to pull up their jobs.  That's it.  No account specs, nothing.  Go live on day one.
outsource overseas...and QA and managers "above" MT, period. It was parallel to the old EdiX
too bad, because they used to be awesome, then lost of lot of people skills and adopted the edix mentality...

I hold no grudges, just giving you my own opinion, my own experience. I moved on and am in a better place...
I make sure the job is not my life and that it does not take over my life. sm
I have been at this 25 years, even once had my own accounts and worked 24/7 with cat naps to keep going but no real sleep. I really burned myself out. Now I work a regular 40-hour week, but it is not my life. It is a means of making money so I can go live my life. I work for a company that is not all about production. They want us to take our time and do it right. I am doing that, and it feels so good to be able to work at my craft and be allowed to do a good job while I am at work.

But after I get off, I have my family and I take time to have fun and enjoy life. I think that is the key to not staying burned out. You need down time, time to have fun, exercise, relax, etc.

Exercise is very important, too. It rejuvenates the hormone system so you have more positive hormones flowing through your body and helps get rid of stress.

That's what I do.
don't type double spaces. Type single. Then no one will be cheated.
I can type with wine, can't type with coffee, though...too jittery.
That is, type the code above before and after what you want bolded in the text-to-type box. nm
For me it isn't an account type but a dictator type ...
and that would be oriental. An oriental dictator (hahaha, that kind of sounds funny...hahaha) is the most challenging for me.
No, you don't type directly into ES. You type in Word -
or whatever their platform is, just like you did with your tapes.

Then you do your line count in Word or the platform.
You should type them. I usually type them in parentheses following the diagnosis.
remind me, type what they say, type what they say, type....
"He indicated that at the beginning of the year he complained of health problems recently but has gotten better."  C'mon doc, which one is it?????
Shorthand users: Is there a way to type a word, use a slash and then type another word..sm

immediately following the slash and have it expand.  For example if I needed to transcribe mass/sebaceous cyst, is there a way to use my expanded sebaceous cyst without having to back space after I type the slash mark?  TIA

yes, real med.
is this for real?
if so, Lord help us all. We are in a world of trouble if this is what our profession is coming to!
I think my real ? is...sm
can I pick it up by just doing it, or do I need some "real" training? It definitely sounds like something I want to check into! Thanks everyone for the input!!!
I am real
Don't be jealous! If you do your math and learn to read, you will see that I lost this weight over a 6 week period (I even said in my post I started on August 17th). My first week I lost 12 pounds and then averaged about 5-7 pounds per week thereafter. Most of it was water weight (told to me from the doctor) and YES IT IS POSSIBLE.

Ever watch the series "The Big Fat Loser?" They were my inspiration and I can tell you that some of those people on there the first week lost well over 15-20 pounds!

Again, don't be jealous. I can't help you will be stuck at your 600+ pounds for life. I decided to get my life back and that is what I am doing. My weight continues to decline and all is good, as I have been monitored by a doctor for this! So a big "WHATEVER TO YOU!"
get real.
I was a 70s teenager too, smoked pot, etc. Nothing shocks me - I've seen and heard it all. Believe me, I've been around so many losers I think I am starting to get pretty good at spotting them and every 40 something pothead I've seen is a big time loser. Furthermore, if you are in your 40s and cannot construct a sentence without swear every other word you really need help, you might be lacking a little in imagination along with class. I hope for your sake you're not over 21.
I really like Real.com....SM
If I remember right, we downloaded the player, and from there you go to their Music Store, where you can browse, sample, and buy tunes. They seem to have a great selection. Usually they are 99 cents per tune to buy, but sometimes they have "sales." Burning CDs is super easy. If *I* can do it, anyone can. I have made several of my own CDs that I love to listen to in the car.

Oh, and no monthly fee either!


(It's the Real Player download over to the right, which includes access to the Music Store.)
any of them....get real and get over it....nm
Get real ---
First of all, why in the world would anyone have to wait 6 weeks for a first check?  Second, I know for a fact that they run out of work especially around the holidays.  If you have plenty of work it is only because the smart MTs have left that joint!  -- MTs like you take whatever the amount of their check is and never question management.  That's why you love it there --------- when they say "jump" you say "how high?"  --- LMAO   
get a real job
YES, all my friends who are lucky never had to work get mad at me cause i dont have time to go to lunch, do church work, come over and hang out, go canoing etc.etc. etc. "you never want to do anything"
Is this for real...
I'm sorry, but I'm having a hard time buying this story...please forgive me for being insensitive...but each time you post, it gets more and more bizarre.  Sounds like a movie...I'm skeptical, sorry, not buying it...
of course I'm for real and you are....sm

typical of so many Americans who want to KILL rather than RESCUE.  This is most probably a harmless snake.  I happen to like most snakes and asked what the color was so perhaps I could help decipher dangerous snake from nondangerous snake.

If an endangered species came flying your way, into your neighborhood, into your garage or patio......you'd want to kill it rather than rescue it. 

Snakes are not cockroaches,  they are not rats, they are not vermin!! 

I live in a reptile state......we do not go around killing the critters unless they STRIKE (alligators/crocodiles/other reptiles) and if they don't strike and they catch them, they get sent to places that house them, show them, and don't kill them.

God didn't say go kill all the animals nor did Jesus.....

Lord help you when your time comes.....



Let's be real....
The only docs and facilities that need 24- hour turnaround time is radiology.  The rest of the docs who get the work in 24 and 12 hours basically just sit on it - that's after the MT has broken her neck getting it to them. 
your welcome.... just trying to keep it real..
Let me know if it works!!!! 
MT not a real job.
Your husband and mine have a lot in common. I have the same problem. I have actually been told I was lazy because I work at home. And he says it isn't worth the money because as a newbie you dont start out making a lot of money but this is something you have to work your way up to. I have a good friend who makes an excellent living at this. But she has been doing it for 8 years now. I know one day it will pay off but in the meantime he doesn't take it seriously at all. He makes me feel like I dont even have a job. So I know exactly how you feel.
yes, i am for real-sm
I stammered a bit and then asked for more info about the dishwashing job.  I told her I had not considered it before.  I honestly didn't know what to say!  Where- I'd rather not say.
that's real nice

A real old old timer
When I learned how to type in high school, we had the manual typewriters with no letters on the keys.  The first electric typewriter when I was a senior, was awesome! You barely had to touch it.  I can't remember either the name of the first "word processor" I used, but I know that soon after came the "Mag Card".  I definitely don't miss any of these.  Yes, that was before production.    Boy, just thinking about this makes me realize how "ancient" I am and how far technology has come in my lifetime.