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Up to the parents, but they dont do it

Posted By: Parents should discipline on 2005-08-01
In Reply to: It is crazy. I don't believe in spanking period. - I live in one of those states

Hey, I feel like this, the parents have the only ones who have a right to spank or otherwise discipline kids

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Not all of us are parents. Not everyone had caring parents. nm,
Why dont you stop coming in and agitating everyone under all your different names. Dont you work.
Dont you think MQ will just keep hiring new people who dont know they lost lines because they are

new. I betcha.

If you dont try to fill in blank or research, dont
The way I understand it if you dont keep below 10 to 15% QA you dont get the bonus even if your QA
score remains above 98% so you see as the other poster said you are between a rock and a hard place and I expect this is MQ way of getting out of paying a bonus to people. I see it this way anyhow. I plan to continue to send unclear things to QA and that is the way it is. I expect depending on the new pay scale on top of this they will be losing a lot of MTs anyhow as they continue to miser everyone out of money.
Do you honestly think they do. I dont. I dont think some of them can even understand some of the

 reports they listen to quite frankly.

If you dont want to read a thread, then dont.
Most Dr. dont care and dont know how they get
Since dont know of any cars that dont use
My parents use it
I can't help you with the pre-exisiting conditions question, but my parents use AARP for all of their insurance needs. They saved a lot of money when they switched and have been very happy with them.
I don't think that her parents did it, but I do think..sm

that they are covering up for the person who did it (maybe the brother).

To the poster that said the parents just let them go to
party and drink was sad.
My parents "spared the rod" and I'm now (sm)
a self-sufficient, responsible, mature adult, furthering my education, handling my responsibilities, and not calling home begging my parents for money. So just because some parents "spare the rod" doesn't mean their kids are going to turn out to be spoiled little bloodsuckers the rest of their lives. There are other ways to discipline kids without spanking. Yes, some kids need a good spanking once in a while, IMHO, but there are other forms of discipline that are equally as effective. Just my opinion.
I don't have issues with my parents are they are

both deceased, but I have "disowned" all my brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews.  I grew up believing I was the black sheep of the family and maybe I am, but their lives are so screwed up and I never heard from them unless they needed something and there was lots of bitterness and anger about various events - mainly my parent's death.  The only way I was able to deal with the issues was to disown them.  I was not interested in making things better because they aren't willing to make an effort and I just don't have time for that. 

My oldest sister hated my mom and was very ugly to her.  My mom did so much for her. All I heard was what a lowsy mother she was.  Well, my sister's daughter had a baby and gave it away, did drugs big time, drinking big time, has lived with several guys.  Her son is gay and can't hold a job, has had so many wrecks he has lost his license twice that I know of.  They just keep buying him vehicles very time he wrecks one.  He can barely make a move without having to ask mommy, is a druggie/drinker/liar.  Only my sister can't see all of this.   We all make mistakes and I don't claim to be a perfect parent, but.....

My parents are retired and
do very well on their savings. It's called preparation. People make their own choices. If you don't PREPARE and do not take RESPONSIBILITY, you will eventually be in such a sad situation. It's not anyone's fault but their own for making poor decisions or failing to make better ones.

Morally, yes - I think other aid should become available to the "mom and pop" situation you are talking about but not reporting and paying taxes on income? No. That is wrong, period.

My boys were taught to pay taxes on their incomes from various jobs. They paid taxes and they paid tithes on it, no matter what it was.

It's called DOING THE RIGHT THING...which seems to be a forgotten concept among the older ones and a brand-spanking new concept among the young ones.

Tax evasion, dear, is ANYONE who fails to report appropriately. They may spend the bulk of money going after big bucks tax evaders but the crime is still the same. It is dishonest and it cheats every loyal, law-abiding citizen.

It doesn't matter if the job is easy or or not (i.e., your reference to house cleaning not being easy). THat has nothing to do with whether a person deserves to report/pay taxes on their income or not.
I am a few miles away from there. SIL parents
Parents just had them done at $5000 an eye. nm
I never did think the parents did it. I'm glad they got him (nm)
I think the parents should be held
responsible. I'm sure the rules are less strict for older kids (he is 16). But it seems a waste of time for the teachers if he is going to only show up part of the every week. He seems to think it is funny that he has really, really bad grades. Seems he is just wasting a spot at school and the teacher's time.
what a brave son (and parents)
How old was he when he did that?  He earned every penny it sounds like.  You couldn't pay me enough to get that close to snakes (shudder). 
My parents did it about 26 years ago - $20K then -sm
that was a 25,000 gallon, cement with plaster in-ground pool with heater, 2 blowers and skimmers, a swimout (a seat in the deep end), steps in shallow end, ladder in deep end with diving board, with a large cement patio area around the whole pool. Pool still in great shape though it does need to be replastered now (can see cement where it has worn thin). My dad just sold the house so its the new owner's issue now.
Take a look at who their parents are. Where's the blame now? nm
If not my kid, then the parents need to step up
and take care of their own child. If I need to work, do not babysit period. I took care of my children when they were little and they can take care of theirs. No time to spare when working.
My parents both worked and over the summer they LET us go to

summer camp AND it wasn't cheap for them either.  Three kids going to camp 5 days a week (Thursdays were skate day), compare that to what that would cost today.  My brother, sister, and I were at camp from 8 AM to around 5 or so and yeah we were beat when we got home, but my folks made sure we weren't "latchkey" kids or running the neighborhood getting into who knows what kind of trouble.  My folks spent quality time with us, too, in the evenings, on weekends, holidays, and vacation, but they BOTH had to work to support us.  So, for the person who has unjustly persecuted CampMom, please try to be more considerate. 

P.S. I should also add that my siblings and I have some of the best memories of summer camp.  Did I say that I'm 42 years old?



For parents, what do you think of your kids' friends?

I am wondering if it's ME or if it's my kids' friends that's the problem.  I just can't stand barely any of them.  We have little sailors running around cussing, compulsive liars, thieves, two-faced "unfriends", blackmailers, anger management problems, slobs, and perverts running around here.  And the violent and graphically disgusting games these kids try to play.  Is this everywhere?  Or am I just overly sensitive?  Parents can't choose their kids' friends because the kids'll rebel against the control, right?  I just feel like I can't have anyone over here because I'm constantly correcting them and cleaning up after them.  They don't listen worth a darn anyway.  I certainly don't want my kids to go to their houses if these kids behave this badly here.

I tried going into details, but this post got so long.  I don't think it's our neighborhood either because we have to drive for playdates with some of these kids.  What, do we just attract the people with issues?  I try to tell myself that these are just kids or perhaps their home life isn't in line with the same value system as we have.  I try to be tolerant because some of these kids have had problems in their lives.  However, having problems is no excuse for bad behavior.  I'm no perfect prude and neither are my kids.  We've had our share of problems.  I also know I can't "shelter" my kids from the outisde world.  But geez, it's just ridiculous.  Whatever happened to the days when parents were parents and kids behaved?  Children should not be cussing, stealing and telling horrific stories of murder and incest.

To give you an example, one of these little punks even told the whole neighborhood that my husband and I were druggies and dealers.  We found out about it when our elderly neighbor came over and told us.  We've always been totally against drugs, not even experimenting with them when we were teens.  Plus, we both have to go through yearly drug screening tests at work, too.  What is with the world today?

To all you parents of student athletes - sm

My son came to me today to tell me he is quitting football.  A sport he has played since he was in the 3rd grade.  He is now a junior in high school.   He is an awesome offensive linesman - scholarship bound this year with academics with it.  He has a 4.0 GPA, takes AP courses and could have a scholarship coming his way.

Regardless of all of that, I am just heartbroken to see this young talented man just walk away from the game he once loved.  I have been crying all morning.  

He tells me, "it just is not fun anymore. "   He does not want to play.  He wants to concentrate on his academics.  

This is halfway through his camp, and games start next week.  He started on the varsity team as a Freshman.

I am so upset, but I won't let him see it.  I do not want him to play a sport to please me or anyone else, but himself.  I have to hold all of this in and it is killing me.      This is his decision, and I have talked to him over the past few days about, trying to not let him know how disappointed I would be if he quit.  Well, today, he went to camp and told his coaches he is not playing, handed his equipment in, and so forth.

Any advice from any of you parents out there for me as to how to handle it from a loving mother point of view!  I hide in the bathroom and cry so he doesn't see me.   For the simple reason, if he sees me crying, he will continue to play just for me.  I really don't want that.  He needs to play for himself.

Needless to say, the coach called this morning after he handed in his equipment to talk to him.  I am sure there are more calls to come.  His teammates will be over this afternoon after camp, I am sure of it.  How do I handle this - better yet, how do I help him handle this? 

P.S.  If he feels like he is letting his teammates down, he will give in and play just for them or for me -



To all you parents of student athletes - sm
This has happened to my daughter this year as well. Her reason was that her coach was a jerk and it wasn't fun anymore. She was a great fastpitch pitcher and he tried to change her mechanics and messed her all up. She didn't want to disrespect him by "telling on him" but it finally came out. When she was pitching it just wasn't her. She was not having any fun any more.

I would suggest finding out "why it is not fun any more." Then if it turns out to be the coaches, find another team he can play on. That is what we did. HTH!

I do have a neighbor whose parents live
in Houma.  She went down there to help them get their things in order.  I think she had to bring a generator.  I have not talked to her as of yet.  I will see her tomorrow and let you know.
Go get to know the family and the boy, introduce yourself to the parents.
That way you can get a feeling on the situation.
No, parents don't usually sit there through football practices.
Games, yes. Practice, no. Cut the apron strings already. The kid would probably get teased with Mommy on the bench every single day watching him practice. It's just not done when kids hit middle school and high school. Let the coach do his job without parental scrutiny.
Same thing happens when we go to my parents' house
All the judgmental "repent you sinner crap". Can't have a nice visit and just talk about something normal. Makes me nuts.
has anyone belonged to Parents Without Partners?
I'm looking to join.  I'm 31, just wanted some opinions.
One of the greatest gifts I have are my parents.
My father is a very strong Christian man. He worked hard all our lives and provided a living well enough that allowed my mother to stay home with us.

He took us to church, structured rules for us as teenagers, and loved us fiercely.

As I grew up and got married, I found my husband to be completely incapable of providing for me as my father (and mother) did. While it left me confused for quite a while, I finally realized that no man was worth my time or energy unless he could take care of me as well as or better than my father did and that I do.

I am shocked and hurt at the number of stories I hear from others everywhere about their lack of a wonderful family and childhood.

Honestly, I feel like I am the most blessed person I know considering my family, my children, and where I am in life.

My father gave me strength, discipline, a love for truth and self responsibility, and most importantly the key to knowing God.

You imply people who don't are bad MTs or bad parents
there R plenty of states where parents....n/m
My parents both worked for various grocery
stores and my dad just retired from Safeway.  Neither of them have ever heard of tipping for taking groceries out to the car. 
caring for elderly parents
My dad died last year at age 89, my mom died last month at 92. My husband and I and our three kids moved in to my parents house 8 years ago to help my parents (I also have 3 siblings). We lived with my parents, and I cooked, cleaned, took them to doctors appointments, etc. My siblings did not do much, even living close by. It was a mistake, my mother said it was her house and not mine and Alzheimer was setting in on both parents. we ended up moving out as I was very unhappy as was my family. My parents health got worse, 24 hour nursing care, finally a nursing home for mother. They had to sell their house to pay for the nursing home because they did not trust anyone to have anything in their names and now everything goes to probate for the estate, which is now hardly anything. Anyone who has aging parents should contact an elder lawyer and know the laws of your state, have bank accounts put in sibling name or even lawyer's name. I really tried to take care of my mother and father but they were very stubborn, would not listen to anyone, took risks and fell etc, and it was not a good thing for anyone to watch. My siblings were all in charge of my parents care for the last four years and they realized what I had gone through. It is very difficult and you try to help but sometimes it does not work. Yes, I loved my parents and tried the best I could, but sometimes it just will not work with living with them as they get so set in their ways. I am a very easy going person. I just know that I will set up will and trusts, etc for my family
I do, because they took care of me. If they were absentee parents, then I'd say no. nm
I did not work as a teen as my parents would not let me - sm
I did look for work though and tried to get work locally (i.e. walk or ride bike) but there was not much around us and the 2 positions I tried for I did not get unfortunately. My mom refused to drive me anywhere (driven out by my 2 older brothers so I suffered), I bummed rides everywhere or rode my bike, but my 3 best friends either had a car or had one available to them so I got around okay, but was not allowed to work (only 1 of my friends worked but that was only because her father had a business he ran out of the house). So I tried to earn money where I could but it was few are far between, dog sitting, cutting neighbor's grass on a regular basis for $10 a pop every 2 weeks, the odd babysitting job (not a lot of little kids where I lived at the time), think I made about $25 a month in the summer months. I wish they had let me work while I was in school. I did work after I graduated though, my summer job (warehouse/front office gopher where my mom worked) before college was my supply money for college, and I work a few PT jobs during school as well, probably $50 a week but it helped. But YES teenagers should be allowed to work as long as their grades are good. We plan to have our 2 work at King's Dominion once they are old enough (only 14 miles away) for summer jobs, I might too, who knows!
Parents: Are your kids spoiled? sm

For instance, do they do chores that are age appropriate, do their own homework, get themselves up in the morning and ready for the day if they're older than say age 10?  Here's how it works in our house:

6-year-old:  Responsible for cleaning her room, feeding her fish and bunny rabbit and her bathroom each week.  Puts dirty clothes into the hamper and puts up clean clothes except those that have to be hung, which we do since she's not tall enough.  Likes to mop the kitchen floor so we let her do that.  Does her own homework after I make sure she remembers the directions.

15-year-old:  Has to clean her own room and bathroom - alternates the bathroom cleaning with the 6-year-old since they share a bathroom.   If she cooks anything that's not a meal for everyone she has to clean up after herself.    She's now learning to do laundry - my DH always took care of that for her in the past or her mom did, but  I've forced the issue that she can do her own laundry now that she's 15.   Also has to do her own homework without help from us.  For instance, while doing English she commonly asks for the meaning of a word.  I tell her to go to webster.com and look it up or grab the dictionary - which is how we learned as kids.   Also her dad (and bio-mom) used to help do her homework by looking up stuff and writing the answers which she'd re-write but that stopped while we were dating as I got him to realize that he wasn't helping her by doing this and she needed to do her own school work and not whine to get him to help.  She is also required to get herself up and out the door for school in the morning, on time, and knows that if she oversleeps and misses the bus because she's goofing off then she gets no PC or TV privileges for the day.  It only took her 1 time of missing the bus  to learn to get up on time. 

What about your household? 



More surprising is what the parents are letting them do. sm

My daughter is in 6th grade.  There is a girl in her class who is ELEVEN years old.  Now keep the age in mind for a minute here.

This 11-year-old girl has piercings in one eyebrow, one side of her nose, her bottom lip, her tongue AND her belly button.  Both ears are also pierced all the way around with about 12 studs in each ear.  She wears full makeup and tight, low slung jeans. She told my daughter that she is getting a tattoo for her 13th birthday.

Sort of a "teenage right of passage" so to speak?  After all her parents have pretty much run out of things to give her permission to do.

I've met the "parents" and it's obvious that the apple doesn't fall to far from the tree.

Shall I suggest a uvula piercing for her big 13th?

Parents with ADD/ADHD kids....sm

Does your child's school work well with you on educating them or don't like having to give your child extra attention? 

My 1st grader is having problems staying focused in class with her 24 peers in the room and being asked to stay on task for an hour at a time.  At home she does just fine when things are broken down into 15-20 minute intervals.   The 2 teachers she has don't want to spend extra time with her or eliminate distractions so I've now officially requested an IEP meeting to force this with them.  She had no problems at the same school last year in kindergarten because her teacher had worked with other kids like her in the past and was able to teach her on her level using the techniques recommended.  

We met with her 2 teachers yesterday and they actually had the audacity to suggest that we work extensively with her at home on the areas she's struggling in.  I'm not home schooling this kid just because they don't want to help her stay focused when my taxpayer money is being paid to support the schools and federal laws require they meet her needs.

Interestingly when I had a prior foster child that had ADD this very same school and teachers were very accommodating and worked very well with me on meeting her needs.  Not sure why her current teachers don't want to but we're going to have to work on that.

What about you and your child?  Did you have to go to the extremes of getting an IEP and forcing them to do what they're required to do or did you get immediate cooperation?   I'm not going to put my child on ADD/ADHD medication just because they don't want to deal with it. 

Exceptions to everything but majority parents
What about the apathetic attitude of parents
I dont know. I didnt care then and I dont care now.
Just me

Rich parents, huh? I bet they're so proud of their little girl ...
I can't figure out why she keeps doing this - she's so easy to trace and she gets caught so easily.  I guess she's a couple sandwiches short of a picnic.   I hope everyone sees her name on this board.  Her name will be mud in this industry and maybe whoever is employing her will kick her to the curb and give her job to a decent, deserving person.  I wonder if she's even an MT, now that I think about it ...
See Dr. Phil today? He was ALL OVER parents with your attitude
You need to get the transcript from today's show.

Man, are you failing your kids with that attitude. I feel sorry for them.
The patient lives with her parents, who are both alive and well.
I would hope they'd be alive. 
All I can say is I wish my parents home schooled me. I ended up sm
getting into a gang from school due to constant peer pressure, failed the 8th grade, got arrested, and deep down inside my heart was always right and conscience telling me no, but when you have kids all around you who are just no good, you seem to get sucked into their ploys....My school years were just absolutely awful.

We didn't move away until it was too late. Moved to another state...I can't really tell you how I survived those high school years, but I can tell you this - it would have been much better for me and my own life had I been pulled from that situation altogether. I have 3 young boys now and I am home-schooling my 4 y.o. (pre-K). We do very little right now, but it may be a door for their future. We have social life at school and with relatives and good friends whom I CAN decide is right for them - when you are at school, we as parents, don't see all that is going on and kids nowadays need that constant supervision (which I lacked) and so I think home schooling CAN BE OF HELP FOR SOME and for others (maybe if they had good self esteem and knew better) can be in public schools.

Public schools nowadays though, are really going straight down the tubes..

PS: I did not read ANY of the other home schooling posts. Just wanted to share my story.

Do you believe parents should GIVE their teenagers a nice new car?
My 17yo claims the parking lot at school is FULL of nice new cars that were given to their drivers.  I think she's exaggerating, like teenagers do.  She has her grandmother's old car that we have made her either pay for or work off by cleaning  her grandmother's house... Value - 500 dollars.  I'm a little disappointed in my daughter who seems to be crying the blues here and making me feel like a negligent parent.  Heck, I didn't even HAVE a car of my won until I was 19, and I bought it with my dad co-signing and made payments on my own. 
Also sending prayers your way. Both my parents are cancer
survivors and hopefully your best friend will be also.

My mother has been in remission for seven years and my Dad a little over one year.