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Doesn't sound very joyful. Find someone to talk to, counselor, clergy,

Posted By: friend. Someone. You need direct feedback. on 2007-08-01
In Reply to: Need your opinions. Here is the scenario....this is true and it sm - The joys of working from home..

xx


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It doesn't make me mad but it doesn't sound intelligent either (sm)
I am sure if all of those people who were aborted were living, some would be good and some would be bad, in the same proportion as there is good to bad now. Your statement makes no sense. So somehow the babies who were aborted were meant to be aborted because they were bad seeds? Whatever. Sorry, that's just silly.
Doesn't sound right
under those circumstances. Then whenever someone wanted new wall-to-wall they could just crap it up themselves and submit a claim and get a new rug.

At any rate, even if this is somehow true, the insurance company will only jack up your rate or drop you all together, so you're going to pay either way. And then you'll have a claim history and no other company will want you either.
Ugh, doesn't sound
too fun! Don't want to go to the hospital. That's why I figure it's past time to quit. My son is scared of me dying anyway. I told my husband no need in making his fear come true!
Sad she doesn't talk to you sm
Then don't say much to her either and maybe she'll get the hint. It will all blow over, don't let it bother you.I know it does but I go through the MIL-DIL thing all the time but I'm the MIL, so I can't say. I just know how I "used" to feel when I was the DIL. My MIL didn't like me either, but she's dead now and I realize I should have just overlooked her crazy behavior. If she were to come back for the day, I would be glad to see her for some silly reason. Although if she moved in with me, I'd have to move out! I don't understand this MIL-DIL stuff, too much negative stuff on TV about it, it seems to "sell" and they always portray them as not getting along. My MIL used to compare me with a soap opera character she watched and everytime this character did something wrong, she'd be mad at me, and here I was, working my butt off to keep a roof over her son's and grandkids heads. You can't win either way. Just pray about it if that's doable for you. Good luck with it, it's sad.
Doesn't sound like it is agreeing with them.

xx


Doesn't sound young to me. S/L nn w/a
*
Doesn't sound normal to me
If my kid said that, I'd tell him to forget the movie.

Why do so many parents tolerate hate and abuse among their own children? If the kid next door said that about your daughter, would you let it pass? And the fact that you asked him what it meant - as if a 10 yo wouldn't understand hate - and he told you he wants her to disappear, spells troubled kid to me. I'd take him to a therapist.
Doesn't sound like it is time yet.
As long as she is not starving herself and the fact that she is purring seems to show she is not ready yet. Still sending prayers.
Yikes! Doesn't sound like a do-it-yourself job! /nm
`
that doesn't sound very positive!!
x
It doesn't sound dumb...
...at all. I miss my Noni girl every single day. She was the light of my life, my soulmate who happened to be a different species. I have gotten 2 new dogs, but my heart will never feel the same.
It doesn't sound like he's very happy
about the separation/moving at all. IMHO, he's taking his anger and frustration out on you...trying to get you to let him do stuff he didn't do before. He's crying out for help...get him some!
Doesn't sound like he's lying, just sounds like you have different wants.
You're comfy in your life as it is. It's one thing to gain love again, it's a whole different story to gain love along with a roommate and all that comes with that, including losing some sense of freedom and space.
Doesn't sound like the ideal situation for
a child; however, there are many reasons a child can have caries. Because of the drinking by mom, the child may have something wrong with her teeth. I didn't drink and did everything right and one of my daughters had several baby teeth come in without enamel. There is a whole possibility of things that could cause this.
There's a lot of talk about DE, but the fact is, it doesn't work.

I base this on my own experience.  What does work, is this...


First, mow as directed. Apply a formulation of horticultural oil and water. If you don't know what to use ask your nursery or farm supply sote, also called 'dormant' oil. The same stuff you spray on your fruit trees in the Spring. Use the "summer" formulation, some soap (like dawn) may also be added as a 'spreader'. Spray at the reccomeded rate. Try to do this on a cloudy day or in the evening. Burning of foliage may occur, especially if it has been hot and dry. Do a small test spot if you are unsure and adjust accordingly. The oil (and/or soap) will smother the mites and severly limit numbers available for reproduction.


You can also use sulfur dust (aka flowers of sulfur). Use the recommended rate. The action here is that sulfor dioxide (SO2) is formed by oxidation in the presence of sunlight and kills the pest. The sulfur will also kill other insects, possibly the beneficials as well. Do not, and I repeat DO NOT use oil and sulfur at the same time , that is unless you want to kill everything. But, if you do that is a great way to go about it, much better than defoliants.


Best of luck


I find that many kids talk like that

on myspace but if it were my child, I would take him to a therapist, pastor, or someone he can speak with.  Most kids will deny to their parents that suicide has entered their mind.  They speak freely on Myspace and I find a lot really get their inner feelings and thoughts on there because a lot of the kids can relate.  If it were me, I would not take a chance.  Expressing unhappiness and suicidal thoughts is something not to take lightly - even it was not meant.  I would rather be safe than sorry.


Good luck and my thoughts are with you!


 


Probably anything from the top of the "pop" charts that doesn't sound too dirty. Or just as
s
Talk to OM and find out hobbies, interests, etc
x
Can you talk to facility and find out if mistakes
x
that doesn't sound normal to me at all. i would request transfer to another facility that has be
i got CT scans in the ER. why the need to wait? assuming they had to wait on orders. does he have a PCP? i'd call the PCP if so and explain the situation and what has transpired and see what he recommends, i.e. jump someones tail or transfer. their should be neurologist on call for this reason. they should make rounds daily whether it is the weekend or not. i'd definitely be there waiting on that neurology consult and fill his ear full and find out what his future plans are if you don't transfer to another facility.
You're worried about the mother? Doesn't sound like she did a very good job herself! nm
x
How was this guy constantly able to find you? Something doesn't
have a cell number of yours? Why did you talk to him at all?
Doesn't sound like my idea of a great community when your neighbor hears you whisper
I'm with you.  Love the country.  Most of those homeowner's associations (at least here in Texas) are power mongers.
Hey, have at it. If you want a lazy, apathetic, not affectionate, doesn't listen, doesn't make
can reach him!!! Let me know if you're interested.
Get him to a counselor.
narcotics anonymous meeting.  I have never heard of profuse sweating from marijuana withdrawal.  Maybe he was on something else as well.  The good thing is he's done with it, but it sounds like he may need some medicine to help him relax, but this would need to be prescribed by a physician.
counselor

You didn't mention if you're going alone or not to counseling, and I wasn't sure by what you wrote.   I personally hope you go by yourself first.  It may be better that way.  Obviously, you'd have much more room to say how your feel, and the counselor wouldn't have the husband "boundary."


I'm glad you're working on yourself.   If nothing else, hopefully you can use this as a time to get back to who you may have been prior to the marriage, or at least learn to be more independent again and ENJOY being that way.  It's really nice to be able to walk down the street with your head held high and a sparkle in your eye (not to mention the swing in your hips after you lose whatever weight you're talking about). 


Please keep us posted.  We're all here to help you to the best of abilities...



Counselor
This counselor apparently has "issues" of her own and seems to be in the wrong job.  Sounds to me that you are raising your children just fine. 
You should probably see a counselor.

It sounds like his hobbies and your way of thinking are not one in the same.  He sounds sort of selfish, but there are always two sides to every story.  My Dad used to say if a husband/father finds reasons to stay away from the house then he just doesn't want to be at home.  He used to feel this way about the men who always volunteered to work overtime, which in my Dad's mind put another father out of work.  He always felt they should hire another man rather than keep these men from their families, but then again maybe these men "just didn't want to go home".  It is sad. 


You shouldn't have to live this way.  Of course your husband doesn't want to divorce because you'd probably get his hunting money.    He sounds selfish and you might want to look into getting your own place and see how he can figure things out.


Might want to go to a counselor
I'd say if you are constantly thinking about food, yes, you might want to seek counseling. You may not smoke or drink, but overeating is self-medicating, too. NOW is the time to get some help, when you are only 15 lbs. overweight. Don't let it get out of hand and then you have 100 lbs. to lose and can't.

God bless you and I wish you all the best with finding a good counselor.
I had a counselor once tell me that too...
and she had met with us both as well. But the psychiatrist who prescribed the stress meds for me met DH and told me that we needed to stop pointing fingers at one another (DH and I) and start enjoying life. So, I parted ways with the counselor and am going to another one after about a year of being gun-shy of counselors. The original counselor who determined there was nothing in this marriage for me or relationship with this man as she put it was not my decision. It is what she said. But after DH and me meeting with the medical doctor psychiatrist, the MD gave advise to find someone else as a counselor and get a second opinion. He suggested that a lot was I was taking life and problems too seriously and we all needed cognitive thinking help in this house, to deal with stress. He said it was situational our problems and once we started the cognitive thinking, that is learning ways to cope with hard times, we could finally enjoy the happiness life has to give. I think it would be worth your while to get a second opinion if you have doubts about leaving, as long as you are safe in your situation. If there, however, is domestic violence physical or verbal abuse, that is a totally different story, you need advise from the local domestic violence hotline which can determine if you need to get out right away. I do not know your situation and do not want to send you the wrong way. If you are safe, then I suggest going to someone else and weigh the options of counseling for couples, and other things like cognitive training. If it is unsafe, then do call 911 or domestic violence hotline and don't waste time, do leave. Remember divorce is expensive, painful, and difficult to get over. You can do it if it is the right thing to do, we all survive these things. But if the marriage is safe, perhaps it would be less expensive and less stressful for you both to consider working on finding the love you had but perhaps got lost along the way in the hard times. Good luck to you whatever you decide!
I had a counselor once tell me that too...
and she had met with us both as well. But the psychiatrist who prescribed the stress meds for me met DH and told me that we needed to stop pointing fingers at one another (DH and I) and start enjoying life. So, I parted ways with the counselor and am going to another one after about a year of being gun-shy of counselors. The original counselor who determined there was nothing in this marriage for me or relationship with this man as she put it was not my decision. It is what she said. But after DH and me meeting with the medical doctor psychiatrist, the MD gave advise to find someone else as a counselor and get a second opinion. He suggested that a lot was I was taking life and problems too seriously and we all needed cognitive thinking help in this house, to deal with stress. He said it was situational our problems and once we started the cognitive thinking, that is learning ways to cope with hard times, we could finally enjoy the happiness life has to give. I think it would be worth your while to get a second opinion if you have doubts about leaving, as long as you are safe in your situation. If there, however, is domestic violence physical or verbal abuse, that is a totally different story, you need advise from the local domestic violence hotline which can determine if you need to get out right away. I do not know your situation and do not want to send you the wrong way. If you are safe, then I suggest going to someone else and weigh the options of counseling for couples, and other things like cognitive training. If it is unsafe, then do call 911 or domestic violence hotline and don't waste time, do leave. Remember divorce is expensive, painful, and difficult to get over. You can do it if it is the right thing to do, we all survive these things. But if the marriage is safe, perhaps it would be less expensive and less stressful for you both to consider working on finding the love you had but perhaps got lost along the way in the hard times. Good luck to you whatever you decide!
Try another counselor
I really think you need to talk to someone else. Like others have pointed out, there are very few, if any, fairy-tale marriages. And it certainly isn't just about changing your hub. Your indifference is a symptom of your own feelings and you will very likely be just as depressed and indifferent after the divorce, only this time you'll be alone.

I think you need a new counselor. nm
nm
Did ya ever just wanna talk about nuthin' just to talk?

As I said before in another post, I miss everyone so much...


So, I have absolutely NOTHING to talk about.  Love my new job, love that spring is on the way, and I love that my belly is absolutely filled up with pancakes my husband kindly made for me just now...even though it's lunchtime and not breakfast.  I'm one of those freaks that could eat breakfast-type foods at every meal. 


...and that reminds me that it's almost that time of year to order some baby chicks for next month.  Laying hens, not for meat or anything, just eggs and entertainment.  I can't wait for warm weather--it's been a long HARSH winter this year.  In fact, I think we're due for another ice storm at the end of the week. 


I hope everyone who stops by to read my note about nothing finds themselves and their families in good health.  Miss you all, even the ones that can't stand seeing that "Hayseed" name up there. 


Seek out a counselor.

school counselor

That's beyond the pail for all of the people at this school.  I'm really sorry you have to endure this.  It sounds like you don't have the option here, but this is clearly why school vouchers are so important so parents can be "pro choice" about their kids' education.  Rest assured, it all comes down to the NEA, who is drunk with power. 


O'Reilly Factor had a perfect example of this on Monday's show in the "Is it Legal" segment about how ridiculous schools have gotten.  You should be able to open it up on the link below. 


Good luck to you.  Hold on to your core beliefs and continut to "do the right thing."


Top Video



I would get him into counselor ASAP
bb
It doesn't always work that way though - some give but it doesn't come back like that nm
x
School counselor defensive?

I really need some input here.  My family recently moved back to our original house because we could not sell it.  The school they were zoned for before we moved back seemed okay, the children thought it was fine. We thought we would wait until the year was over before going back to the original school in our neighborhood so they would not flip flop.


My little boy who is 7 recently had problems with a reading group teacher who wanted him to be in a play.  It was a big part. He is shy and I did not hear of his fear until they were into practicing.  She said either do the play or get a zero.  He asked if he could make up the grade. She told him to do a book report at the library (this is second grade).  None of the children in the reading group were explained how to do this book report even my daughter who is in the same group told me she had to figure it our herself.  My little boy did not know what to do. He was afraid to ask her again as one other time he asked for instructions she was very abrupt and did not answer him.  So, I contacted his home room teacher to resolve it, as the reading teacher was not available (for personal reasons).  The principal tried to arrange a meeting but again, this teacher was unavailable, and I finally received a phone call (she left a message) from her late Sunday night she was busy and could not get back to me and she would not be in for a week.


Week goes by, my little boy is okay but issue still not resolved. Top it off some kids were teasing him and told an older girl in the glass that he liked her. She sat down at lunch and told him she did not like him right to his face.  Ever since, he has not been dealing with things well.  He has gotten sick before school from anxiety, etc. I spoke 3 times with his home room teacher, and all she could do is say, "I'm sorry, I don't know what to do, the counselor is busy today." 


On top of this, my little 8 year old girl's teacher constantly gives her tardies for being 1 minute late (I go to the office to get a pass but she refuses to call them excused).  We drive 40 minutes, it has been foggy and one time I had a flat tire.  My husband informed the office of this. 


With all of this idiocy we decided to put the kids back in the original school here by the house and as I went into the office to let them know, the counselor of the school had to meet with me, urgently.  She lit into me big time, saying I coddle my son and if I kept doing so he would be come effeminate (sp?). She also said that I am teaching my daughter to be critical of her teacher by saying there is something wrong with being 1 minute late. I said there were reasons for being 1 minute late and my husband told the teacher and the office.  The counselor said, "set your watch back so that will take care of it and you will be early.",


This counselor continued to say that I was not parenting my son and daughter correctly and that she was livid that I would encourage a crush that my son was only 7 and I was not being responsible.  I said I did not even know about this crush and that I thought the girl was rude even saying that to his face after he never even told her it was a rumor!


I left the office feeling horrible as she indicated I was "a bad parent," I am not kidding. My band says she just was upset because we were leaving and there were issues not resolved correcdtly by her staff. 


If you got this far reading this I appreciate it. Thanks for listening.  But really, is my instinct right that this "counselor" was out of line, saying my son is going to be effeminate and my daughter critical? Made me feel about 2 inches tall, but I did not let her know that. Nor will I tell the children.  Feedback on this would be highly appreciated.  If I could I'd give you a copay for listening. Thanks in advance. 


If you've been to a counselor who suggests
My husband and I are in counseling and she has never once suggested counseling, even in the beginning when I felt like you, just giving up, unloved, etc.  I am amazed at how far we have come during our counseling and we're not done yet. We have 3 kids, ages 21, 18, and 9...they are the reason we went to counseling in the first place.  Divorce is a horrible thing to do to children.  For counseling to work, you both have to put your whole heart and soul into it.  The counselor is there to do what you want and if you say you want to save your marriage, then that's what they are supposed to try to help you do. Please find another counselor and try again.  It is worth saving...God bless...I'll be praying for you!
I would call the school counselor and
let them know what is going on. They can then contact the family.
First, go to Alanon. Second, maybe speak to a counselor sm
about your feelings. If he truly does change, is there anything that would make the marriage worth salvaging?
Have you spoken with a counselor, therapist, or your minister?

It would probably help if you could express your feelings out loud and get some feedback from someone who is trained to deal with emotional dilemmas like you are experiencing. I would strongly encourage it, especially since you have had thoughts of suicide.


Sometimes it takes a little while to find the right "fit" in a therapist or counselor. If the first one doesn't seem to be helping, try someone else.


I had similar feelings when my son was finishing up high school and getting ready to go on to college. The so-called "empty nest syndrome," I guess. But there are a lot of components to it. It's like redefining yourself as a person, because for so long you have been meeting everyone else's needs, and now you are starting to realize that you have needs of your own.


So what you need to figure out is what fulfills you as a person. What do you want to do with the rest of your life? Literally. Five years from now, what would you like to be doing? When you figure that out, start figuring out how to make it happen.


The best of luck to you, and please feel free to email me if you like. I'm still working on some aspects of my "mid-life crisis," but I have worked through a lot of it. I would be happy to provide a sympathetic ear.


 


I would call the counselor out of concern for this child. nm
@
Oh, this gave me high BP!! How dare a school counselor......sm
Take it into HIS hands to pull the girl and administer any kind of test at all, he does not have the legal right. He SHOULD have quietly contacted the girl's parents, told them about the rumor, and then SHUT UP, made himself available for counseling, but leaving parenting/medical matters to the parents, where they belong. If this were my own daughter, I fear I would be so enraged by this type of arrogant, stupid, unprofessional, illegal, and disresepctul acivity that I would become a one-woman vasectomy machine, the hard way. Talk about emotional distress?? That poor young girl and her parents. I can remember my days in high school in the early-mid 70s, parents were brought in and respected. OMG, this kind of "rumor" went around every time some nasty girl had a "fight" with another girl, they would have been hiring buses to drag these girls out....truly sickening situation, I hope this young lady is okay now, and has healed emotionally from it all, and thank God it was not true at all, for her sake, poor thing!
Find a lawyer, find out where you would stand - sm
in the event of a divorce/separation, regarding custody, house, etc. Custody was my main concern as well since I lied on numerous occasions about the finances. Where I am I was told that would not factor in to the custody at all. I can prove that I am my kids caregiver 90% of the time, I ferry they around everywhere, help with homework, get ready for school, meet at busstop, etc. I could also point out my husband is an alcoholic, self treats his depression with alcohol instead of getting proper medical treatment, has threatend to kill himself (or me) numerous times (though he always says he was joking and did not mean it.....that is his standard answer to everything, or that he never said that). Now I do love him enough to deal with all that because deep down inside my DH is full of it, luckily for me, he has never followed through on anything he says he is going to do. But I thought my confession would be the straw that broke it all and send him over the edge. He still is angry with me, I am sure he will be for a long time, but is keeping it together pretty well, though he has said the stress was going to kill him, now he know how I felt I guess. I am sorry your husband is such a smuck. I feel like a dog sometimes with the sex demands, have to do it the night before he goes out of town....he will be traveling a lot for work for the next 3-4 months, which I am more than glad about, much calmer here then, though it gets tiring for me but as he is not really helping much right now it really won't be much of a change. As for yours going on 5 day weekends.....have you considered having him followed, sounds like there may be some infidelity afoot, and if so that would strengthen your case in the event of a divorce and custody I would think. Sounds a bit fishy going out until 1 a.m. and his frequent trips. My DH fishes too, but he goes 2 miles from here with one of our male neighbors, they shoot the breeze and he gets to unwind some which I encourage. Very rare weekends with a buddy of his, I am talking once every 2 years, which again is fine with me. Start keeping track of all you do, when he is home, where he supposedly goes, with whom, etc. He cannot show he will be a responsible dad if he is never there or never interacts with his own kids. My DH would probably suggest I take our older daughter and he the younger, spliting them up, he has the same perception, the oldest is mine, the youngest is his. Our younger daughter is much easier to deal with, our older daughter drives him nuts and she is only 10. My younger one (8) knows something has been going one though, and worries we will divorce, which she does not want. She is very perceptive for her years. I hope that if you do go the divorce route, which would actually probably be best in your situation, that it all works out for you and you get your fair share of assets, etc. Make sure before you do anything like that you have all your ducks in a row, so talk to divorce lawyer. I talked to one for 45 minutes, cost me $160 but was worth it to set my mind at ease. Good luck.
Go try it, talk, talk and listen sm
Counselors are trained to "listen" and direct you to talk (not them). I have transcribed many, many mental health reports. They do dig deep and keep it going for a very long time, very long, usually (perhaps not for you). But if you both don't tell the truth, you are wasting your money, so why not just get it all out on the table and get it over with and get on with your lives? Don't pussy foot around, get it all out and deal with it. Gosh, life is too short to put on a show, it's not a dress rehearsal, it's life. Go forward, forgive, forget and forge ahead. Don't need a degree for that!! But a little help can't hurt. Might help.
Wow, you sound like
someone with real compassion for animals - NOT.

I personally would rather have my tax money go for this cause as opposed to going to cover welfare and disability incomes of people who are perfectly capable of working and just choose not to because they can. But that's just my opinion.
You know what? If it were me, and I know this may sound sm
way off to some people, but I would treat this young boy with love! Invite him over, talk to him, show him that someone truly loves him. I would invite him to church and pray for him. I know, totally unconventional. He acts that way because of his parents. He needs good, godly role models in his life. I would try my best to be that person.

I think too many people try to throw away bad kids. It's such a shame. They can be rehabilitated. 11 isn't that old. And I am not saying that is your responsibility because it's not! I understand that. But if I lived there, that is what I would do and see how that works. That saying, "love makes the world go round," is because love can turn a bad situation around. Bad always reaps bad.

I know because just this past Wed. I kept 5 kids at my house (I have 3 of my own!) and we stayed outside and played until 9 at night. I live out in the country and have a lot of land, animals, a pool, etc. The kids I had over has a dad serving in Iraq and I just wanted to give their mom a break. They don't have a yard where they live. They played until they collapsed. I ordered pizza and just loved on them. I see their mom struggling with them and I just wanted them to have a place where they could let loose and have a great time. One of them was a little ornery, but I would talk to her and be sweet and I really think I brought the best out in her. They brought their collie with them to play too and he ended up staying! So, we also have a new dog and we love him!

Good luck to you. I know this probably hasn't helped you much at all, but try not to be mad at him.
You sound
like a real taker and nasty, changing dirty diapers on a conference table?? I would have been finished with you then also. Gross. I have been at time share meetings before but a good answer is NO! Did not have to resort to a free this or that and I know how to get a point across without being offensive.
you sound like me

I have read people use timers to get themselves away from the computer when reading email on their working days.  For me, I keep talking to myself and saying "just do it"  especially when I feel the urge I want to begin and don't want to delay getting started any longer.  I was more energetic when I was a SE.