Don't be, there are lots of others who have it far worse- sm
Posted By: on 2007-08-02
In Reply to: Ladies, these posts have made me so sad for everyone sm - OP
than those of us here with husbands that basically are just spoiled brats who want it all their own way and don't want to have to do anything other than go to work (and most don't even want to do that) come home, eat, and put up their feet and watch TV. Mom is supposed to do it all, cook, clean, deal with the kids on every level, be ready to go when hubby wants sex and work herself, all with a big smile on her face. At least that is what my husband expects, though he does do the cooking though lately he has really cut back and I have had to pick up the slack or no one eats. He cooks for himself and I do the kids and I. I do everything else even cut the grass sometimes as he is "too tired". He has been whining about retiring for years now, he is only 48 but thinks he should be able to quit and I pay all the bills, don't think so as I make only about 20% of what he does. He says when the house is paid off he is quiting. I have told him no that is not an option until the kids are out of college (another 16 years), he is not too happy about that. Once he hits 55 I know it will really become a battle (or when his parents die as he is expecting at least 1M from them), but I will probably quit MT then and go out and get a job especially if he is homw all day then. My only consolation if I do stick it out is I will be a rich widow and he will probably develop cirrhosis in the next few years as he has been drinking 8-12 light beers a day for about 25 years at least, and he does not eat much as well; and hates doctors so by the time he gets any serious illness it will be too late most likely. A friend of mine in the healthcare field is convinced it will happen, just a question of when. Who knows, don't really much care. I keep my kids happy and they do love their daddy and he loves them to pieces too, but he is just a bit too unrealistic in his expectations of them, me and life in general. If push comes to shove I will probably demand he leave, he hates the house and has said on more than one occasion if he goes I can have the house (how generous of him), though I'd demand it be paid off first, so he'd have to raid the 401K for $50K but he would not owe me a penny; and on the side of stupidity I'd probably get a equity line and pay off all the cc debt we have just to shut him up and have less stress about that. That payment is a lot less than a mortgage and it would be worth it in my mind to do. We'd both be paying off debt and he could not whine that I stuck him with that too. Child support will make him whine enough as it is. He'd walk away with a truck, trailer, boat, big screen TV, his collectables/antiques (a lot of stuff), my mom's china (I don't like it and she wanted him to have it when she died and he loves it), a few tables, half the dishes and a 5 acre lot about 12 miles away on which he could build a house. Yes, I have thought this out quite a bit. Anyone in a bad situation, don't bury your head in the sand, think about your options and have a game plan if necessary. Good luck to us all!
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I think once disgust happens, lots of therapy is needed to feel love again. Lots
s
Thanks everyone - I have felt worse and worse as the day has gone (sm)
I am usually not so gullible and I really, really believed this was a good person I was helping. Wolf in sheep's clothing I guess. I have never been so completely fooled. I am old enough to know better.
Lots and lots of SKATING ! - sm
Mostly inline street skating, up & down hills, too. Some roller skating and roller-disco. I was doing ice-skating, but can't afford it anymore, plus I prefer to skate outdoors. It works all muscles, is low-impact, fairly quick to learn compared to other sports, like skiing, is a cheap sport, and excellent for keeping balance & reflexes sharp. Most of the people I skate with look & act 10-20 years younger than their chronological ages.
I MAKE the time to skate. I eat my lunch at my desk, but take a break in the late afternoon before it gets dark, to exercise. This can also include a walk or jog around the neighborhood, bike ride into town to go to the market (cheaper than driving), a fast inline skate around town, or dance practice on a local tennis court. Then I work into the evening for as long as it takes to finish up.
By trial and error. Lots and LOTS of error!!! -nm
.
And it's getting worse
Our local school district is lauded as one of the best in Pennsylvania. But apparently I'm one of the few who disagree. They actually give out varying grades of failing -- an E and an F. And D's are passing grades. I have a foster son in that school system, and I hate it. The children who do well, get all the attention. Average and below average students are poorly served, but a good deal of their parents are uninvolved, and we just don't hear their stories as often. My other two children go to a Catholic HS where the only grades are A, B, C or fail. Even though the school is smaller and the curriculum less varied, it's worth the struggle to pay the tuition, because standards are higher.
I'm a very big believer that we get from children what we expect from children. And very large school districts, no matter how much they talk about attending to the individual child, just are not able to do so. Children who struggle just can't get the attention they need.
which is worse.
My account was $174 in the red. I panicked, went to the ATM with a CC and got $200 and deposited it my account. I don't get paid until Friday. I don't know when DH gets paid. The bank said they cleared them so probably no charges are going on the outside, but bank itself is going to charge me for this. I really don't know how that works. I have never been in this mess before. I just got worried my name is going to be posted all over town "do not accept checks from this woman" very embarrassing. I am supposed to have close $4000 in tax money coming in which will pay off 2 loans which will help. While there is work available, I better go back to the kind of typing I get paid for. I asked the bank lady which is worse, but she said I will get bit either way.
Well, it could be worse.
At least you didn't mention she's smoking up your house or using illegal drugs or having wild parties or stealing from you. The loud TV is something you could address. Turning it down or using headphones are two possible compromises. You can't expect a paying renter to share all of your values, especially if you didn't take the time to see if you were going to be compatible for each issue. I'm sure she would be surprised to hear she's so annoying. From her point of view, other than a TV that may be too loud, she's just minding her own business.
OMG, I know! I'm not sure which is worse,
the way the ER treated her or the way the 911 operator responded to people calling for help. Why is that guy not being fired???
It could be worse!
I haven't started all that, so it could be worse. But when other things went wrong in my life I lost interesting in food. I was only eating 2 meals a day, and apparently one of those wasn't good enough. I did lose 10 lbs, but I reached a good weight adn stopped losing, so I wasn't concerned at all about that. So then the old antidepressant wasn't working, so changed to another one, then skin started changing and wouldn't heal, blood wouldn't clot, had extreme exhaustion and apathy. So now I have to recover from vitamin deficiencies, at least I learned that it's hard fo me to stay healthy when I work at home.
I'm going back to school for something I always thought I couldn't do, but maybe I can after all! Everybody is very encouraging. They never thought MT was challenging enough for me anyway.
He was always that way, getting worse (sm)
I just put up with it for a long time, overlooked it. When I was younger I thought I probably just didn't know how people are supposed to act and so I assumed he knew better than me. But now it is particularly offensive to me when I keep asking him to work on how he treats me and he says until I act like a wife, he is not gonig to treat me like one. Well, I'm not a prostitute. I don't have to buy his kindness with my body. I think I have pretty much made up my mind. I really appreciate all the comments and welcome any others.
It is not going to get better. It is only going to get worse.
Is that what you want? For yourself OR for your children?
Please read my post in the thread below - "See a divorce attorney." Same advice still applies. Make sure you have someone on your side who knows the LAW. You just have to make up your mind to do it. I suggest you do it soon, before he starts criticizing and/or hitting the children. And don't say that would never happen. It could and it very well might.
Get rid of him - it will only get worse - sm
I married a man like that, thinking "I can change him." oh I laugh at myself now, only after I kick myself.
The fact that his ego was so much larger than you could imagine should have been a clue. Even now, he says he already knows what I am going to say so "don't bother"! Whatever!
Kick him to the curb and find a REAL man!
got worse before it got better
Believe me, this person was something else, that was 20-odd years ago. My personal life was a wreck, and she really succeeded it just making me feel worse about myself. She made everyone take the CMT exam, it was no where near ready, and I was the only one that flunked it the first time. It was a dark, dark time.
This is worse (sm)
The grammar my husband uses as well as his family and friends is horrible but I have to hold back correcting them. Spelling too. I blame the school systems.
I do, however, correct TV reports out loud in my own home. That's always a fun game!
I along with others got worse than that
Years ago before government pushed into folks lives, kids were punished in ways, ok I was hit with a belt, a yard stick and 1 time when mother got really ticked, one of those 60s high heels with the pointy toe and slim heel. I never resented her for my acting out and probably deserved each swat I got. My DH also tells me he got what he calls beatings (you got to understand sometimes we just call them that when they were whippings)and both of us and all I know growing up turned out really adjusted. I saw the post above wondering about if we were afraid of strangers approaching with items or men, that is really funny- I along with others of my age group probably got more whippings than most know. It only make me a stronger person. The kids growing up then were real nice ones.
To a man, I bet nothing is worse the ED. A man
x
Could be worse...
We had to pay over 3k in taxes between fed and state this year, over 3k in property taxes, and we don't get the stimulus check.
I'm trying to feel sorry for you, really I am... 
It's going to get worse before it gets better.
I believe when your psych doctor tells you to be nice, she is telling you not to stress. Stress will only make you sick. You just have to be patient. Teenagers are going to do what they want. Even after our visits with the psych doctor ended, it was still rough going. My child left home at Christmastime. That was the worst time of my life but I survived. I packed up her gifts, tracked down where she was staying (with a friend and her mother), dropped the gifts off at the house and left. I did not speak with my daughter and I told her friend's mother that I did not want to speak with her. I continued with my holiday enjoying the rest of my family and the next week, my daughter came back home sheepishly. She had lost a lot of weight so I know she could not eat like she wanted. After that incident, I did not have any more problems and she lived by my rules until we shipped her off to college. She has graduated from college and is now going to Officer's School for the Air Force. What I'm saying is, you will survive this. Don't give her your power. If she needs to, let her see how difficult it is to live on her own and not have the comforts of mom and dad's house.
N0 way, I think she was always like that, worse than a dog..! nm
nm
Then it is even worse! Then you took
the money form your blood relatives, your nephew and niece, PRETENDING that you cannot find them! WOW !
I do sometimes. This year seems worse
I guess because we have 2 houses to sell and family issues that have been going since July. But normally I am fine and just get the blues after Christmas is over. This time of year is wonderful but can be stressful trying to live up to family expectations etc.
Beepers are worse, though.
You hear them go off on the guy's belt and you know what's coming... right up to the mouthpiece until they finally turn it off. LOUD beeping breaking my ear drum.
The cell phones are bad also. They should have rules of cell phone/dictation. Yeah, right.
I used to do this doctor whose cell phone was a cat's meow. I was forever trying to figure out where he was dictating from where this cat was always meowing. I finally figured it out when he actually answered it rather than let it terminally meow. ;-)
That network is actually getting worse, if that is at all
!
It gets worse every year...
I'm still shaking my head, especially over that last one!
Worse every year . . .
Ditto here! That last one should have gone home. Really a shock.
dont know which is worse
that or hearing that Sanjaya is still on AI???!!!
Going to watch AI *live* my time for first time this year!
Rachel Ray is worse
Get the woman a muzzle and some valium. Good grief her voice goes through me like chalk on a chalkboard.
Not worse than the funeral I went to
NM
I had the same situation only worse(sm)
my 9-year-old nephew (who I rarely see) stopped in with his father yesterday to wish Christmas greetings. Somewhere in the conversation as we were talking about work in general my nephew pipes up and says, "Maybe you should get a REAL job." I can only assume that discussion among the adults in their household centers around the fact that they don't think I "really" work even though I I sit for eight hours a day (and have for 10+ years) just like if I went off to the hospital to do this (which I did for 13 years before that).
Yes worsening after for me...much worse (sm)
It could be a matter of age but my cramps and flow got way, way worse after the procedure.
Probably just put together the 2 worse words
x
Amen...nothing worse than a....
used to be thin gal bending down and getting the wide view of a tattoo!
Prices just keep getting worse s/m
Instead of throwing the meat away here, they have a list of churches that will take it for the soup kitchens, etc. At least they know it is going to a good cause.
We have been skimping more and more on meals. We are having more grilled cheese with soup, french toast or pancakes with sausage or bacon (when I find it on sale) and we were just given a deer that we had processed for ground meat and such. I have cut way back on snacks, a bag of chips and a bag of apples or oranges for the week. With 4 kids in the house, that goes fast!
I can beat that one - I did much worse! -sm
I used to transport horses as an almost-full-time second job. (Did so for almost 30 years). Had 3 trucks & 2 trailers. I live in an apt., so could only park 1 truck there. The rest I 'boarded' at a local stable. On a hot summer day, I pulled in and parked my rig, and covered the truck with a dust cover (since the riding arena was right nearby... saved me lots of cleaning.) So I locked everything up, got in my smaller truck, and drove home.
TWO DAYS LATER, I'm at work, and get a frantic phone call from one of the trainers at the stable, saying they had to break into my truck. I of course flipped out at that, then she told me that the barn cat was in there meowing to be let out! She had apparently jumped in while I was back behind the trailer for a moment & the door was open, and jumped into the back seat and I never knew she was there.
That poor cat was in the truck with no food or water for 2 whole days in the middle of summer, when the temps were in the high 90's outside. The truck was in the direct sunlight all day long! It's amazing she survived, but she was apparently just fine. A dog in the same situation probably would have died. (I'm sure she did use up 6 or 7 of her 9 lives, though!)
worse than a diet
I had a very loved border collie for years that was not hugely obese, but overweight. I liked to keep dry food in his bowl, if it was empty i put some in it. Well "Thomas" developed diabetes. I noticed his excessive thirst and then before I took him to the vet, he suddenly went blind. The vet said his blood was thick like syrup. Sadly, Thomas is no longer with us. Now I measure my dogs food and don't project my own love of food onto my pets, vowing I'd never be guilty of overfeeding again. I hope my sad case will help another realize the importance of feeding responsibly.
ESL torture dictation - can it get any worse than this??
Imagine if you will a horrible, horrible ESL who mumbles, stutters, grunts his words, lets his words fade off into unintelligible ramblings...Then you get him talking to another ESL who does the very same thing!! They carry on what could be called be a conversation with each of them stammering and stuttering for nearly 2 minutes. Oh, the torture of it all! I feel better now because I know you can all relate! 
Even worse....the cart runs into a car
nm
I with you, Hayseed. Backwards (or worse) is right. sm
I don't like the sound of this at all. So let's see, this law would *force* a woman to look an ultrasound. Okay, let's say it passes. Then what? Is there a time limit placed on the amount of time she has to look? I mean, is a glance okay? Will that suffice? Or does it have to be a full 30 seconds... 60 seconds... 5 minutes? Does someone have to hold a timer and witness it? What if she refuses to look? Are the police called in to hold her head and keep her eyes pried open?! Come on, now.
Honestly. It sounds ridiculous, uneforceable, and more than a little scary to me.
Song not any worse than my at the funeral I went to
Cousin knew she was dying from cancer. My 90-year-old father there and unbelieve, she was always something else, started off with Ole Timey Rock and Roll and the end of the funeral was Somewhere Over the Rainbow. My father said, well I never. I had not either but her choices.
You will make this situation WORSE IF
you don't get a handle on how you are thinking. If you can afford a counselor, you should seriously considering goign UNless you can quickly correct your wrongheaded thinking here.
You must stop thinking of your 17-year-old as a little girl. She is normal human being with sexual curiosities... You cannot implant your beliefs on her and whoever she chooses.
I dont mean to sound like any expert or without compassion, but facts are facts. You weren't prepared for this eventuality and now you are over-reacting, perhaps in part because of who she chose.
Do you want to drive a large, perhaps permanent wedge between the two of you? You cannot undo the deed - so now is the time to make SURE to be someone she will LISTEN TO about birth control (even though she didn't take your advice about sex...)
Although I don't know what's worse, the political banter or having to
;
Hmm, sounds like the situation is getting worse. sm
If he knows this person and you don't and he felt the need to forewarn you about her trying to stir up trouble, I think there is something there. He knew someone had something on him and it was about to come out so he forewarned you that trouble might be stirring IN CASE and when it did come out so he could down play it. Just remember, when there are secrets hidden and things go wrong - that is when secrets are told. Does he have a good explanation as to why this person is trying to stir up trouble? I would be very suspicious at this point and would not stop until I got the answers that satisfied me no matter who I had to contact to get them. Good luck to you and I hope my feelings are wrong for your sake, but it doesn't sound good to me.
Sometimes staying is worse for the kids
I was in a similar situation for a long time. Our home became almost never peaceful due to their father's irrationality. It was an emotionally unsafe place for our 2 daughters. I'm not saying divorce is easy or always the answer, but in our case, we have had a friendly one, we are both still totally committed to co-parenting our children and everyone gets along so much better with him under another roof. My kids were 12 and 10 at the time (13 and 15 now), and we have been able to talk freely about all the issues and no one, not even my ex at this point, is happier than we ever were when we were living together. My daughters are above-average to excellent students in school, excel in music and sports and have the best relationship with both me and their dad that they have ever had. Sometimes you just got to look at a bigger picture about what is truly best for them, and then work at making sure their adjustment is paramount whether you decide to stay or decide to go. But having said that, be sure you do what is ultimately best for you too, I stayed as long as I did only because I let others try to tell me all the pat things, divorce is wrong, divorce is harmful to them, yadayadayada. Bottom line, if you are constantly unhappy, so will your kids be. Part of the reason my kids are so cool with the divorce is that they can now see me (and their father) happy. He has found a new partner, I haven't, but my happiness is not dependent on that. I go out some, but don't bring men around them to try to make a new daddy for them or anything like that. You have to decide what is right for you and for them, no matter really what anyone says. Once you have completely made that decision for yourself, you can make the rest fall into place. Best wishes to you!
Even worse, The child is allowed to have sex with
f
She's 64 and has always believed this way but it is worse these days. sm
But she seems to be thinking clearly, just getting to be more outspoken. She scared me all the time as a child by telling me crazy things.
Why do I have to "press 1," (or, worse yet, 2) for English...
..
Forget swine flu. Something far worse is
At age 75, Shirley Jones is going to go topless in an upcoming episode of "The Cleaner" on A&E. The CDC is predicting that millions of unsuspecting viewers will be struck blind or suffer from the more "explosive" symptoms of severe gastrointestinal flu.
We call upon A&E to provide appropriate warnings, as there is no vaccine available for this one.
http://www.nypost.com/seven/04282009/gossip/pagesix/75_and_still_hot_166562.htm
There are also far worse drugs used with cigarette filters
Try Googling things parents should look for regarding drug use and kids. Definitely not saying she's into anything really bad but I'd be watching her like a hawk.
Not true. Things are MUCH worse today
we didn't have nearly as many shootings and crazy things going on 20 years ago and it's not because we didn't have access to the media/cable TV stations etc, back then, it just wasn't happening like it is today. I don't know if it's the kids so much; I just think the world itself is extremely screwed up and too many things making people crazy. Couple that with society's obsession with wealth, status, looks, racism, etc., many people having no morals or faith, and it is makes for a very scary situation. Myself and many people I know (and I'm sure many I don't know) are deciding not to even bring children into this unpredictable and scary world. Can't even imagine another 20 years. It is very sad.
I didn't mind either one. I can't honestly say one was worse
than the other.
Well now you've made me feel worse!
Not your fault, just don't like this whole situation, as you can tell. I hate the idea of paddling. I spanked my kids a few times when they were younger but I honestly had no idea school districts still did this sort of thing.
If the principal/vice principal bruises my daughter you'd better believe I'll be in there Tuesday morning demanding some answers! Maybe I'll write on the slip "Only if soft enough not to bruise." There is NO EXCUSE for causing that kind of damage to my child. You say there is no bruising IF done by a thick wooden paddle or not done with one? Seems like that's what would bruise. I know they use a paddle, but I don't know any details about it, how thick it is or if it has any holes in it (which I assume makes it worse).
I don't think I'm going to sleep well tonight. This is so hard on a mom, you know. I like your extra pair of undies idea. I have a pair of control-top underwear that I've never worn before, I wonder if they'd fit my daughter. They're pretty padded.
Not happy.
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